(no subject)
Dec. 29th, 2015 16:42Also Lemmy is dead and a cat has peed in my bag.
New layout
Apr. 4th, 2015 20:26Also I remade my DW layout so that now it's easier to read from mobile! I use the net mostly from my phone nowadays anyway. And this layout looks more 2015 than my previous one, which I had for the longest time. Yay!
(no subject)
Apr. 3rd, 2014 02:13Tumblr cross-post!
i wanna travel somewhere with palm trees
aching to travel
why did i quit my job again
oh yes it was a toxic environment and i cant do 9 to 5 and stay sane and alao i have artistic dreams and shit
but i reeeeally want money
palm trees
i wanna travel somewhere with palm trees
aching to travel
why did i quit my job again
oh yes it was a toxic environment and i cant do 9 to 5 and stay sane and alao i have artistic dreams and shit
but i reeeeally want money
palm trees
And I'm not sure I can take another show, after Dexter, where we're supposed to unconditionally love a white man who is a privileged, "civilised" monster, but…
BUT HANNIBAL'S ACCENT. HANNIBAL'S ACCENT, GUYS. I WANT TO EAT THAT ACCENT. HIS ACCEEEEEENT. OH GOD. It is entirely possible I'll watch the whole series just because of that slight lisp, that mix of unclear articulation and exaggerated English pronunciation. I CAN'T EVEN.
BUT HANNIBAL'S ACCENT. HANNIBAL'S ACCENT, GUYS. I WANT TO EAT THAT ACCENT. HIS ACCEEEEEENT. OH GOD. It is entirely possible I'll watch the whole series just because of that slight lisp, that mix of unclear articulation and exaggerated English pronunciation. I CAN'T EVEN.
(no subject)
Oct. 3rd, 2013 01:07Last night I was a space soldier and saved the Earth from obliteration by evil insect-like aliens. So you, dear reader, basically have me and my comrades to thank for your continued existence.
Also, my dreams are epic when I consume a lot of scifi, like I do right now.
Also, my dreams are epic when I consume a lot of scifi, like I do right now.
Yesterday, I received a new passport with the right name AND the right gender! Oh yay. I feel totally validated now.
It's true! I'm finally finally FINALLY moving towards the point where I'm not so paranoid any more about whether someone thinks I'm not really a guy. Because I know what I am, and no one can take that away from me. But it does take external validation, and a passport to prove it is a big step.
It's true! I'm finally finally FINALLY moving towards the point where I'm not so paranoid any more about whether someone thinks I'm not really a guy. Because I know what I am, and no one can take that away from me. But it does take external validation, and a passport to prove it is a big step.
(no subject)
Jul. 10th, 2013 01:03Hello Dreamwidth
I am having a grand old time
There are approximately a million things I want to post on here but I have no tiiiiime
But very good things are happening, like festivals and love and gigs and theatre and um I think I might have started a new novel
I'm also not reading my rlist because no tiiiiiiiiime
See you when I have the time, that is maybe in August
Love you all!
I am having a grand old time
There are approximately a million things I want to post on here but I have no tiiiiime
But very good things are happening, like festivals and love and gigs and theatre and um I think I might have started a new novel
I'm also not reading my rlist because no tiiiiiiiiime
See you when I have the time, that is maybe in August
Love you all!
Pride, part une
Jun. 25th, 2013 16:26Pride week! I was in the opening ceremony last week, and it was terrible. Finland's ombudsman for minorities, Eva Biaudet, was the main speaker, and she kept going on about gays, gays, gays, gays, gays have such a hard time, gays are discriminated against, but when you love someone it's real, we're here for gays gays gays. She did mention "sexual and gender minorities" once, and then ended with "but men who love other men and women who love other women have always existed", to polite applause.
Oh vomit. Bi? Trans? Oh well, not worth mentioning. Asexual? Pansexual? Queer? Genderqueer? Intersex? What are those even.
But today I'm a-go to a poly discussion/meet-up thing. That should be fun.
Oh vomit. Bi? Trans? Oh well, not worth mentioning. Asexual? Pansexual? Queer? Genderqueer? Intersex? What are those even.
But today I'm a-go to a poly discussion/meet-up thing. That should be fun.
Reading meme
Jun. 24th, 2013 23:56Recently finished:
Audiobook: Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay. Loved it! It was so nice to read very literary fantasy after all these spefi books I've read that I've liked because of the clever plot and the world they describe but not really the prose. (*coughASOIAFcough*) Also liked the author's afterword that was included, which shed light on some of the themes in the book.
B.P.R.D.: A Plague Of Frogs by Mike Mignola, John Arcudi et al. <3<3<3
Currently Reading
Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino. This is a lovely book, consisting of short and imaginative descriptions, only a page or two long, of cities that Marco Polo has supposedly visited on his travels and is now describing to Kublai Khan. But as the book progresses, it becomes clear that the cities are possibly imaginary, and maybe even Polo and Kublai's conversations never happened, at least not like they appear in the book; it all takes place in a dream-like, fictitious world. I'm enjoying this a few pages at a time, no hurry. The only thing that bothers me here, and damn if I can't complain about this in high literature if I can complain about it in pop culture, is how all the women in these tiny stories seem to be decorative, always something the sight (or sometimes touch) of which the traveller enjoys, while the men are often presented as active, having some sort of profession and so on.
The Legacy by Katherine Webb. I picked this up at a flea market years ago when someone offered me two books for one euro, and I asked for a recommendation for the second book and got this. Judging by the cover, it's marketed as chick-lit, and it is rather easy-to-read, straightforward writing, but the themes are dark. Two sisters, one of whom is severely depressed, have inherited their grandmother's gloomy mansion, where they used to spend their childhood summers until their cousin mysteriously disappeared one summer. And now apparently they will have to come to terms with not only that but some even deeper, older secrets in their family; we're also following events in 1905, in the sisters' great-grandmother's youth. I'm some 70 pages in this and I think I'll finish it, to find out what happens, but probably it won't be the best read ever.
The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne. What it says on the tin; the psych recommended this. It's a huge, comprehensive book, and hopefully it'll be helpful.
Audiobook: Master And Commander by Patrick O'Brian. This is absolutely delightful, and perfect for an audiobook, with its rather long-winding descriptions of naval minutiae. I like the early-19th-century atmosphere and I like the friendship between Aubrey and Maturin and I like how Maturin is a scientist.
Next up:
I have a ton of B.P.R.D. waiting for me, so that, I guess.
Audiobook: Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay. Loved it! It was so nice to read very literary fantasy after all these spefi books I've read that I've liked because of the clever plot and the world they describe but not really the prose. (*coughASOIAFcough*) Also liked the author's afterword that was included, which shed light on some of the themes in the book.
B.P.R.D.: A Plague Of Frogs by Mike Mignola, John Arcudi et al. <3<3<3
Currently Reading
Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino. This is a lovely book, consisting of short and imaginative descriptions, only a page or two long, of cities that Marco Polo has supposedly visited on his travels and is now describing to Kublai Khan. But as the book progresses, it becomes clear that the cities are possibly imaginary, and maybe even Polo and Kublai's conversations never happened, at least not like they appear in the book; it all takes place in a dream-like, fictitious world. I'm enjoying this a few pages at a time, no hurry. The only thing that bothers me here, and damn if I can't complain about this in high literature if I can complain about it in pop culture, is how all the women in these tiny stories seem to be decorative, always something the sight (or sometimes touch) of which the traveller enjoys, while the men are often presented as active, having some sort of profession and so on.
The Legacy by Katherine Webb. I picked this up at a flea market years ago when someone offered me two books for one euro, and I asked for a recommendation for the second book and got this. Judging by the cover, it's marketed as chick-lit, and it is rather easy-to-read, straightforward writing, but the themes are dark. Two sisters, one of whom is severely depressed, have inherited their grandmother's gloomy mansion, where they used to spend their childhood summers until their cousin mysteriously disappeared one summer. And now apparently they will have to come to terms with not only that but some even deeper, older secrets in their family; we're also following events in 1905, in the sisters' great-grandmother's youth. I'm some 70 pages in this and I think I'll finish it, to find out what happens, but probably it won't be the best read ever.
The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne. What it says on the tin; the psych recommended this. It's a huge, comprehensive book, and hopefully it'll be helpful.
Audiobook: Master And Commander by Patrick O'Brian. This is absolutely delightful, and perfect for an audiobook, with its rather long-winding descriptions of naval minutiae. I like the early-19th-century atmosphere and I like the friendship between Aubrey and Maturin and I like how Maturin is a scientist.
Next up:
I have a ton of B.P.R.D. waiting for me, so that, I guess.
Things that are up:
Jun. 23rd, 2013 12:53+ It's been a busy, busy, busy couple of weeks. And my poor DW is neglected.
+ I've been doing theatre! The thing I'm doing for this summer is two plays that will be performed at the Volter Kilpi Literature Week in Western Finland in mid-July.
For one of them, I'm just a sound technician, so I'll just have to push the buttons at the right times and beat on an impromptu drum for a while. But for the other I'm doing all of the music and sound design and also playing it at the performances, part on tape and part on the clarinet and the saxophone. So I've been composing composing composing. It mostly takes place in the 1980's, so I'm able to use all those cheesy eighties synth effects that would otherwise be too much. It's a lot of fun! But also a lot of stress because augh this is a big thing and there are a lot of songs and they are far from ready and there's just so may things to consider. But all in all, fun!
The team in the other play, the one I'm just a sound tech for, have been under a lot of stress because of personnel changes at the last minute. That stress hasn't really concerned me, but poor them.
+ There was a Midsummer, and there was Juuso's and my birthday picnic on Midsummer Eve! It wasn't a perfect day to have a b-day party because Helsinki quite simply empties out for Midsummer when everyone goes to the countryside to celebrate. But I like empty Helsinki, and there are always a handful of friend who stay. So it was a nice party with a dozen people, few of whom knew each other beforehand.
+ Augh I have no money. ( Cut for money talk. )
+ Pride week! Starting tomorrow! I don't think I'll be going to as many things as last year, when I had about two events marked on my calendar every day; there simply doesn't seem to be as many things I want to be at, this year, and also now I know to avoid the depressing main party. But still, there will be picnics and panel discussions and old friends and new friends and oh yes, the parade.
+ I've been doing theatre! The thing I'm doing for this summer is two plays that will be performed at the Volter Kilpi Literature Week in Western Finland in mid-July.
For one of them, I'm just a sound technician, so I'll just have to push the buttons at the right times and beat on an impromptu drum for a while. But for the other I'm doing all of the music and sound design and also playing it at the performances, part on tape and part on the clarinet and the saxophone. So I've been composing composing composing. It mostly takes place in the 1980's, so I'm able to use all those cheesy eighties synth effects that would otherwise be too much. It's a lot of fun! But also a lot of stress because augh this is a big thing and there are a lot of songs and they are far from ready and there's just so may things to consider. But all in all, fun!
The team in the other play, the one I'm just a sound tech for, have been under a lot of stress because of personnel changes at the last minute. That stress hasn't really concerned me, but poor them.
+ There was a Midsummer, and there was Juuso's and my birthday picnic on Midsummer Eve! It wasn't a perfect day to have a b-day party because Helsinki quite simply empties out for Midsummer when everyone goes to the countryside to celebrate. But I like empty Helsinki, and there are always a handful of friend who stay. So it was a nice party with a dozen people, few of whom knew each other beforehand.
+ Augh I have no money. ( Cut for money talk. )
+ Pride week! Starting tomorrow! I don't think I'll be going to as many things as last year, when I had about two events marked on my calendar every day; there simply doesn't seem to be as many things I want to be at, this year, and also now I know to avoid the depressing main party. But still, there will be picnics and panel discussions and old friends and new friends and oh yes, the parade.
Non-Wednesday reading meme
May. 28th, 2013 15:06Recently read
Tango: My Childhood, Backwards and in High Heels by Justin Vivian Bond. This was a shining little gem. A very fine-tuned, nontraditional narrative of a trans child's (sometimes very troubling) early experiences with gender and sexuality. I loved that Bond had limited the autobiography to vs* childhood and early teens, without the oh so typical "then I grew up and became a real wo/man and everything was fine" ending.
Comic book: B.P.R.D.: a Plague Of Frogs pt. 3 by Mike Mignola, John Arcudi, Guy Davis and Dave Stewart. Absolutely delicious. Sloooow but constant character developments and revelations, gorgeous art, innovative horror.
-----
* Mx Bond uses the pronoun v.
Currently reading
Audiobook: Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay. I like this! It's so refreshing, after ASOIAF, to read some medieval-type fantasy full of conspiracies and plotting that is light and organic and humane despite the horrors that happen in wars and occupations. This book is full of music and emotions and some of the people actually have noble motives.
Next up
Maybe Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino? Some family friends gave it to me for my last birthday, that is almost a year ago, and since it's not something I'd have picked for myself, I just haven't started reading it, although I'm sure it's good. I've no idea what it's about or anything, but I guess I'll just dive in.
Tango: My Childhood, Backwards and in High Heels by Justin Vivian Bond. This was a shining little gem. A very fine-tuned, nontraditional narrative of a trans child's (sometimes very troubling) early experiences with gender and sexuality. I loved that Bond had limited the autobiography to vs* childhood and early teens, without the oh so typical "then I grew up and became a real wo/man and everything was fine" ending.
Comic book: B.P.R.D.: a Plague Of Frogs pt. 3 by Mike Mignola, John Arcudi, Guy Davis and Dave Stewart. Absolutely delicious. Sloooow but constant character developments and revelations, gorgeous art, innovative horror.
-----
* Mx Bond uses the pronoun v.
Currently reading
Audiobook: Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay. I like this! It's so refreshing, after ASOIAF, to read some medieval-type fantasy full of conspiracies and plotting that is light and organic and humane despite the horrors that happen in wars and occupations. This book is full of music and emotions and some of the people actually have noble motives.
Next up
Maybe Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino? Some family friends gave it to me for my last birthday, that is almost a year ago, and since it's not something I'd have picked for myself, I just haven't started reading it, although I'm sure it's good. I've no idea what it's about or anything, but I guess I'll just dive in.
During the past week I have watched the first episodes of the following series:
Elementary: Oh yes, delicious, more at once. (In know I'm a season late, but oh well, I never feel the need/ability to squee with everyone in a timely manner.)
Doctor Who (new, 2005, Christopher Eccleston series): Ha, adorable. Might want to watch more of this but I'm not absolutely mad about it for now. But this is a big thing, having actually watched some Who in my life! Now the only big spefi fandom that remains untouched by me is Star Trek. Well, I've seen several of the movies both old and new, but.
I have also downloaded but haven't watched the first episodes of the following series:
Defiance
Hannibal
...that is all.
Elementary: Oh yes, delicious, more at once. (In know I'm a season late, but oh well, I never feel the need/ability to squee with everyone in a timely manner.)
Doctor Who (new, 2005, Christopher Eccleston series): Ha, adorable. Might want to watch more of this but I'm not absolutely mad about it for now. But this is a big thing, having actually watched some Who in my life! Now the only big spefi fandom that remains untouched by me is Star Trek. Well, I've seen several of the movies both old and new, but.
I have also downloaded but haven't watched the first episodes of the following series:
Defiance
Hannibal
...that is all.
Reading non-Wednesday
May. 20th, 2013 22:31Reading meme! Because I'll never do this on a Wednesday anyway!
Just finished reading
Paper book: Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism And The Scapegoating Of Femininity. This was a fantastic book. I can't count the times I went "oh yes! Exactly" while reading it. The central thesis, as I understood it, is that hatred of women and femininity is alive and well in the modern society, and trans women experience a (trans)misogyny that is unique to them as people who threaten the societal order by seemingly willingly abandoning their maleness. And the hate that trans men and other people on the trans* spectrum experience, for simply transgressing the gender binary, is not the whole extent of the hate that trans women and trans-feminine people in general face. It's a bit of a depressing read, because it points out so clearly so many things that are wrong, but I recommend it.
Paper book: A Queer and Pleasant Danger: A Memoir by Kate Bornstein. Loved this book. Kate Bornstein has lived such a weird, fantastic life and tells about it with such gentle but sharp humour. This made me laugh and cry at the same time. Oh good.
Audiobook: The Mars Trilogy by Kim Stanley Robinson. Oh god these were long and technical. Hard scifi at its finest. And they were these tech/science utopias disguised as novels. The author seemed to treat his characters as a sort of irritating side effect that you have to somehow deal with in order to be able to write about all the delicious science. And I loved the science, I liked the commitment to explaining every single detail of the terraforming of Mars in what sounded like popular-sciencey accuracy (although I could find holes in the biology, so probably there were holes in the sciences I know less about). It was a nice trip. But towards the end the technicality and the lack of psychological finesse when describing the characters' minds just got to be too much, when it became apparent that the psychological or character-related plot won't have much of an arc. So I'm glad I'm done with these books. Still, they were an impressive read!
Currently reading
Paper book: Tango: My Childhood, Backwards and in High Heels by Justin Vivian Bond. Another trans* memoir, very different from Bornstein's but full of the same joy and sorrow and uniqueness nonetheless. This is a short little book, and I got about half the way through it in one sitting, and I'm already sad that there's so little left.
Audiobook: Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay. I just downloaded this to get to know some classic fantasy and scifi, and then forgot about it for a year, and only now started listening to it. It seems to be some medieval/renaissance fantasy. Looking good, but I'm like two chapters into it so I don't know yet.
Might read next
Comic book: B.P.R.D.: a Plague Of Frogs pt. 3 by Mike Mignola (script), Guy Davis (art) and others. B.P.R.D. is a sort of Hellboy without Hellboy; Hellboy had left the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense, but the other lovely characters, plus some new ones, are facing new paranormal adventures. I love this universe, I love the characters, I love Davis's drawing style, and really even if the big star that made Mignola a big name in comics is curiously absent from the comic, its all the better in that it lets everyone else, all of them more subtle characters than the rock star-like Hellboy, come to the foreground in turn. Also, I have the strangest crush on Abe Sapien.
Other than that, I don't know! I've a ton of books lying around here, so I'll just grab what I feel like reading, after finishing the current ones and the comic book.
Just finished reading
Paper book: Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism And The Scapegoating Of Femininity. This was a fantastic book. I can't count the times I went "oh yes! Exactly" while reading it. The central thesis, as I understood it, is that hatred of women and femininity is alive and well in the modern society, and trans women experience a (trans)misogyny that is unique to them as people who threaten the societal order by seemingly willingly abandoning their maleness. And the hate that trans men and other people on the trans* spectrum experience, for simply transgressing the gender binary, is not the whole extent of the hate that trans women and trans-feminine people in general face. It's a bit of a depressing read, because it points out so clearly so many things that are wrong, but I recommend it.
Paper book: A Queer and Pleasant Danger: A Memoir by Kate Bornstein. Loved this book. Kate Bornstein has lived such a weird, fantastic life and tells about it with such gentle but sharp humour. This made me laugh and cry at the same time. Oh good.
Audiobook: The Mars Trilogy by Kim Stanley Robinson. Oh god these were long and technical. Hard scifi at its finest. And they were these tech/science utopias disguised as novels. The author seemed to treat his characters as a sort of irritating side effect that you have to somehow deal with in order to be able to write about all the delicious science. And I loved the science, I liked the commitment to explaining every single detail of the terraforming of Mars in what sounded like popular-sciencey accuracy (although I could find holes in the biology, so probably there were holes in the sciences I know less about). It was a nice trip. But towards the end the technicality and the lack of psychological finesse when describing the characters' minds just got to be too much, when it became apparent that the psychological or character-related plot won't have much of an arc. So I'm glad I'm done with these books. Still, they were an impressive read!
Currently reading
Paper book: Tango: My Childhood, Backwards and in High Heels by Justin Vivian Bond. Another trans* memoir, very different from Bornstein's but full of the same joy and sorrow and uniqueness nonetheless. This is a short little book, and I got about half the way through it in one sitting, and I'm already sad that there's so little left.
Audiobook: Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay. I just downloaded this to get to know some classic fantasy and scifi, and then forgot about it for a year, and only now started listening to it. It seems to be some medieval/renaissance fantasy. Looking good, but I'm like two chapters into it so I don't know yet.
Might read next
Comic book: B.P.R.D.: a Plague Of Frogs pt. 3 by Mike Mignola (script), Guy Davis (art) and others. B.P.R.D. is a sort of Hellboy without Hellboy; Hellboy had left the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense, but the other lovely characters, plus some new ones, are facing new paranormal adventures. I love this universe, I love the characters, I love Davis's drawing style, and really even if the big star that made Mignola a big name in comics is curiously absent from the comic, its all the better in that it lets everyone else, all of them more subtle characters than the rock star-like Hellboy, come to the foreground in turn. Also, I have the strangest crush on Abe Sapien.
Other than that, I don't know! I've a ton of books lying around here, so I'll just grab what I feel like reading, after finishing the current ones and the comic book.
Those productivity tips that say that you should start working on a continuous big task first thing in the morning, and only later concentrate on scattered small tasks like email? That doesn't work for me at ALL.
Part of why I've been so miserable with the whole class planning stuff is that my technique has been wrong. The busier I've been with the planning, the more I've taken the approach that I must be able to put all else aside and do nothing but plan the classes all day, forgetting that I'm a scatter-brained multi-tasker who functions best when there are five things on my plate at the same time. All that follows from trying desperately to concentrate continuously on the classes is that I'm actually concentrating on all the emails that need sending, all the schedules that need adjusting, all the small stuff that needs thinking and taking care of.
So from now on I'm giving myself the permission to happily multi-task and to take care of the small things as soon as I think of them. This helps me put them off my conscious mind, and honestly, sending one e-mail or taking care of some other thing that's bothering me takes two minutes, whereas worrying about it while trying to do something else slows down my work with that other thing considerably and drains my energy. Also, taking care of small, semi-urgent parts of bigger projects as soon as they're on my mind gives my subconscious the information to process what I need to do next with these projects. And doing stuff immediately eases my anxiety over whether I'm going to forget to do them entirely. This is a much more fluid and natural mode of working for me, and I'll have to force myself much less.
And I am not a less productive* person if my brain doesn't work like some lame self-help books think it does (or should). Productivity is not the same thing as concentrating on the same thing for hours on end. I have an attention span of three minutes, and while that might affect what my work is like, it doesn't affect how good it is. I just do something for three minutes, get distracted and do something else while my subconscious (hopefully) processes what to do next with the first task, and then eventually return to the first thing.
I have written entire novels in three-minute bursts, chrissakes.
What about you people? Continuous uninterrupted single-tasking from the morning on, or scattered multi-tasking?
-----
* We'll go into the faulty capitalist logic of "productive = good" some other time.
Part of why I've been so miserable with the whole class planning stuff is that my technique has been wrong. The busier I've been with the planning, the more I've taken the approach that I must be able to put all else aside and do nothing but plan the classes all day, forgetting that I'm a scatter-brained multi-tasker who functions best when there are five things on my plate at the same time. All that follows from trying desperately to concentrate continuously on the classes is that I'm actually concentrating on all the emails that need sending, all the schedules that need adjusting, all the small stuff that needs thinking and taking care of.
So from now on I'm giving myself the permission to happily multi-task and to take care of the small things as soon as I think of them. This helps me put them off my conscious mind, and honestly, sending one e-mail or taking care of some other thing that's bothering me takes two minutes, whereas worrying about it while trying to do something else slows down my work with that other thing considerably and drains my energy. Also, taking care of small, semi-urgent parts of bigger projects as soon as they're on my mind gives my subconscious the information to process what I need to do next with these projects. And doing stuff immediately eases my anxiety over whether I'm going to forget to do them entirely. This is a much more fluid and natural mode of working for me, and I'll have to force myself much less.
And I am not a less productive* person if my brain doesn't work like some lame self-help books think it does (or should). Productivity is not the same thing as concentrating on the same thing for hours on end. I have an attention span of three minutes, and while that might affect what my work is like, it doesn't affect how good it is. I just do something for three minutes, get distracted and do something else while my subconscious (hopefully) processes what to do next with the first task, and then eventually return to the first thing.
I have written entire novels in three-minute bursts, chrissakes.
What about you people? Continuous uninterrupted single-tasking from the morning on, or scattered multi-tasking?
-----
* We'll go into the faulty capitalist logic of "productive = good" some other time.
The two springs
Apr. 22nd, 2013 02:48I've always said that spring is my least favourite season, but that's not entirely true. In my mind, spring actually consists of two distinct seasons. And I only dislike the first of them, the black spring. When there are heaps of stained snow everywhere. And the ground is still perilously slippery to walk on, and where there isn't ice there's a lot of sand from the layers and layers of it that have been spread on the ice during the winter, and when you bike, the sand is almost equally slippery. The trees are bare and ugly and the ground is bare except for last autumn's rotten leaves. The harsh sunlight reveals dog shit on the ground and dirty windows on every city building.
But after black spring comes green spring, and it's entirely different. Suddenly, leaves start to sprout from everywhere. The snow has mostly melted and the sand on the sidewalks has been mostly swept away. Occasionally the sun isn't harsh but warm and gentle. Seagulls will screech. People will open their coats and leave their hats at home and start looking up from their feet. Walking outside will suddenly turn from a cold and perilous necessity into a pleasure. There is the promise of a summer everywhere.
And I think yesterday was the first day of green spring, for me. I saw crocuses and some other tiny little plant things and gulls and the sun.
Also I am up way too late and will go to sleep now.
But after black spring comes green spring, and it's entirely different. Suddenly, leaves start to sprout from everywhere. The snow has mostly melted and the sand on the sidewalks has been mostly swept away. Occasionally the sun isn't harsh but warm and gentle. Seagulls will screech. People will open their coats and leave their hats at home and start looking up from their feet. Walking outside will suddenly turn from a cold and perilous necessity into a pleasure. There is the promise of a summer everywhere.
And I think yesterday was the first day of green spring, for me. I saw crocuses and some other tiny little plant things and gulls and the sun.
Also I am up way too late and will go to sleep now.
(no subject)
Apr. 18th, 2013 22:07Days when I teach both the morning class and the evening class, which are in different cities: no. Just no.
*collapses*
*collapses*
Mad Max 2, guys! Mad Max 2!
Viewing this movie at the age of (approximately) 15 was such a formative experience for me! This film is so essential to my sense of aesthetics, of what's cool, of what's awesome. And I hadn't watched it ever again since until last night, and... it was such an experience. I only now realise how much of an impression this film made.
The rest of the post is very image intensive! And a bit spoilery, but... this is not a film you watch for the plot. TW for a snake pic.
( Deserts and leather )
Viewing this movie at the age of (approximately) 15 was such a formative experience for me! This film is so essential to my sense of aesthetics, of what's cool, of what's awesome. And I hadn't watched it ever again since until last night, and... it was such an experience. I only now realise how much of an impression this film made.
The rest of the post is very image intensive! And a bit spoilery, but... this is not a film you watch for the plot. TW for a snake pic.
( Deserts and leather )
Today I made a new friend!
Here ze is, waiting for the bus with me. I think we're going to have a great time together!
Here ze is, waiting for the bus with me. I think we're going to have a great time together!
I'm having relationship feeeeeelings and not all of them are good. My current mental health status is GOOD and my relationship skills are ALL RIGHT so I'm surprised at the extent to which I can't cope. Before Juuso I was in a relationship where the poly thing didn't quite work out and then we had one medium-sized poly-related fuck-up pretty early in our relationship with Juuso and so now I have a REALLY hard time trusting on an emotional level that it's really okay that I have other partners and that it will continue to be okay for the next, you know, couple of hours. And I've been freaking out about a minor agreement/rules issue that came up with Juuso re: my date M. and feeling generally awful for a few days now.
Well. Nothing to do but feel my feelings and process it together with Juuso, I guess. And try to be honest and open and fearless.
So let me share a technical story, instead:
My printer's been acting up for... years. It's a rather good but pretty old Epson, and it's given out whitish prints for a long while now, where parts of the page are faded out. I've been using the printer only for personal stuff, and the quality has been tolerable, so I've just ignored the issue, thinking the ink must be running out and I'l think about that later. But then, lately, it's also started printing a vertical black line in the centre of every page, which pointed, to my amateur eyes, to something else than the ink running out.
And only today did it occur to me that hey, I know a bit about tech stuff! And I bet I'm not the first person ever who has this issue! So I googled possible solutions, came up with instructions on what to check if whiteouts and black lines occur, took out the ink cartridge and photoconductor, and...
...who woulda thunk, they were full of cat hair. Some human hair, too, but mainly cat. In thick, matted clumps dyed jet black with toner. So much so that I'm surprised the printer was running at all.
So I carefully plucked out most of the cat hair, put the parts back in the printer, and awesomely enough, it's now printing perfectly.
And I've been tolerating the bad prints for literally YEARS. The fixing took ten minutes of googling and then ten minutes of clean-up. Huh.
Well. Nothing to do but feel my feelings and process it together with Juuso, I guess. And try to be honest and open and fearless.
So let me share a technical story, instead:
My printer's been acting up for... years. It's a rather good but pretty old Epson, and it's given out whitish prints for a long while now, where parts of the page are faded out. I've been using the printer only for personal stuff, and the quality has been tolerable, so I've just ignored the issue, thinking the ink must be running out and I'l think about that later. But then, lately, it's also started printing a vertical black line in the centre of every page, which pointed, to my amateur eyes, to something else than the ink running out.
And only today did it occur to me that hey, I know a bit about tech stuff! And I bet I'm not the first person ever who has this issue! So I googled possible solutions, came up with instructions on what to check if whiteouts and black lines occur, took out the ink cartridge and photoconductor, and...
...who woulda thunk, they were full of cat hair. Some human hair, too, but mainly cat. In thick, matted clumps dyed jet black with toner. So much so that I'm surprised the printer was running at all.
So I carefully plucked out most of the cat hair, put the parts back in the printer, and awesomely enough, it's now printing perfectly.
And I've been tolerating the bad prints for literally YEARS. The fixing took ten minutes of googling and then ten minutes of clean-up. Huh.
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