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[19 Oct 2009|11:00pm] |
- 20:34 Spending hundreds of dollars and planning to return most of it = shop therapy!!! #
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[18 Oct 2009|11:00pm] |
- 00:31 "How is that not calloused from dragging on the ground?" #
- 00:33 "Oh no no no....we are not the droids you're looking for." #
- 01:22 "I'm a Bra, wanna help?" #
- 01:34 "Who wants their pants undone by my teeth?!" #
- 01:55 "I have something in my mouth and it is not mine." #
- 01:58 This is my new band, Polyester cock ring. #
- 02:22 "I cant go down on you right now, you'll queef fire." #
- 11:18 Last night I saw Pole dancing, naked girls making out, a plethora of Penises, and Fire eating/breathing. What did you do? #
- 12:35 This escalator is stairs.... sorry for the convenience. #
- 14:36 "Twelve year olds don't have cream filling" #
- 15:16 The best part was when I hit myself in the head with a wooden sword. #
- 15:32 "Maybe I shouldn't talk about swastikas until my hair grows back" #
- 22:57 I have the Awful "So long and thanks for all the fish" song from the stupid Hitchhiker's guide movie in my head. Annoying. Goodnight. #
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[17 Oct 2009|11:00pm] |
- 13:29 God dammit fuck. #
- 14:04 Congratulations Car shopping, you have finally reduced me to tears. #
- 16:42 I seriously might be about to walk out of this place with a car. Also, my credit rating is apparently bomb. #
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[16 Oct 2009|11:00pm] |
- 01:43 Oh No, My Uterus has migrated upwards. #
- 08:33 @tiffgreen Oh my god is it @johncMayers Birthday?!?!?! I am so unprepared..... #
- 21:21 I get points for originality, even if I AM an idiot. #
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[15 Oct 2009|11:00pm] |
- 07:46 Can't find my Ipod...Eff. No work to keep me busy, no facebook, twitter, or Ipod. Work today is gonna be great. #
- 08:39 Just fixed our Fax Machine. Now Imma go play with my nuts. Maybe there's a tire somewhere I can change. #
- 10:29 if someone brings me a Turkey Sndwch from @Potbelly, tomato soup, and chewy sweet tarts...I will compensate with sexual favors. #
- 12:31 3.5 hours until I can Nap. Wheeeee. #
- 13:12 I think one of our officers just insinuated that Jesus was Delusional. #
- 20:07 RT @joezimmer: Yo Balloon Boy, I'm a let you finish, but Anne Frank had the best attic hideout spot of all time. #balloonboy #
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[14 Oct 2009|11:00pm] |
- 23:19 Strange mood tonight, the way the good and the bad and the frustrating all mix. You're killin me, kid. #
- 09:55 "If you drink a glass of grape juice and stand sideways you could go as a zipper to a Halloween party!" Um what??? "I meant thermometer." #
- 12:55 If I ONLY drink pop when I need caffeine, and I am EXHAUSTED right now.... why did I pick Gingerale? #
- 15:14 Talking about religion and creationism in the office.... Nothing better than that. Its fucking SCIENCE, Folks. C'mon. #
- 21:11 Chocolate-covered Crisco. #
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[13 Oct 2009|11:00pm] |
- 08:03 I think I slept last night \o/ #
- 14:09 @Betsyowl I'm starting to regret being such a proficient online stalker. I'm finding the downsides. ;_; #
- 16:21 This morning I bought a chocolate muffin and dropped it on the floor. I am just now getting bummed about it. #
- 16:26 @Bridgetherrmann Earlier I read that you went for Pumpkin soup but had Mac & Cheese instead.. and I wished I was you. #
- 16:28 RT @whoola "I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm." - Og ... #
- 17:41 I may kill myself before this evening concludes... but what with? I should carry my leatherman more often. #
- 19:05 @betsyowl Grab me on AIM sometime and we'll discuss. I need your new phone number too! #
- 20:22 "Fucking a bony chick is like fucking a bag of staples" Oh, Reddit. I love you so. #Reddit #
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[12 Oct 2009|11:00pm] |
- 23:05 @inxthiscity I loved it at first, but the more I listened to it the more I decided that it was mediocre. There are a few solid tunes. #
- 00:13 No matter how hard you try, you just can't discipline a cat. #
- 00:32 Someone once told me that I would get worms from kissing my dog. What an asshole. #
- 00:32 @inxthiscity Hahahah Yeaaah... That album has been criticized for her being more of a pretty face/backup vox than anything. #
- 00:48 I need to be wearing less pants. They're stressing me out. #
- 01:01 "You'll just have to have a sex bed, and a sleep bed." Clearly, @whoola one bed could not serve both purposes. #
- 01:17 Sleeping is a great concept, but when my mind refuses to shut off the outcome is pretty poor. Hey Brain, SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME SLEEP #
- 01:48 My pillow is giving me a headache, and my hair is keeping me awake. #
- 11:59 RT. BEST. EVER. @shitmydadsays "That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do i ... #
- 12:24 "All the best things come from you." People love me. #
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[11 Oct 2009|11:00pm] |
- 23:16 kicking back some Miller Lites for old times sake @bfsrocks @tmdave #
- 00:15 "I have a magical power over zombies that makes them totally socially acceptable." @mc_chris #
- 01:09 Would have loved an encore tonight but I guess a few asshole juggalo zombies ruin it for everyone. @mc_Chris #
- 01:49 @Nickupton You make a cute but blurry zombie. #
- 16:43 My jeans smell like dog. This would normally be fine, except they do not smell like MY dog. Laundry must be done. #
- 19:17 @whoola I'm right there with you. Lets be Spies. #
- 22:12 Had a short nap and now I feel like a hot seaming pile of ass. Unsure of how to proceed with my night. #
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[10 Oct 2009|11:00pm] |
- 11:27 Trying to decide whether or not I need a Frost-Free vest. #
- 11:47 Stoked to go see @mc_chris tonight. I think anyone who does Zombie Pub Crawl should probably hit up his show. #
- 15:36 Brainpaper. #
- 15:52 "Thanks for that, now this will never be wrapped tight again." Thats what she said, @sebastianisnude #
- 21:06 I'm going to see @mc_chris with a dude wearing a knock off Wolverine jacket. My life is so awesome. #
- 22:43 If I had known this was going to sell out I totally might not have come. 7th street entry is intolerable. #
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[09 Oct 2009|11:00pm] |
- 20:19 @brandyalvarez On my computer her tweet looks like empty box = empty box. I think it is a hidden message to decode. #
- 21:25 Driving and listening to I and Love and You. Headed North. #Avett #
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[08 Oct 2009|11:00pm] |
- 23:50 @betsyowl OMG you just explained my entire life. I feel the saaaameee way. #
- 08:14 Slept very very poorly last night. Tossing and turning, and Nightmares. Good times. #
- 08:27 I had forgotten what an amazing way to start the day Phantom Planet was. Wooooo! #
- 13:46 How did I go through so much of my life without eating French Onion soup? Wasted years. Shame. #
- 18:33 Sitting at the dentists office, waiting for my first appt in 7 years. Yikes. #
- 19:04 BTW dentists office are huge black holes. I'm not even sure why they set appointment times. I'll be waiitng here forever. #
- 19:09 Oh man, @Erik2113 is living my dream right now. #
- 20:58 WELL that was cute. Balls. #
- 22:36 "I like living. And now all of the sudden I like living in Madison." @Whoola #
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[07 Oct 2009|11:00pm] |
- 12:05 I am absolutely not amused when I hear people run thorough our halls on the phone yelling "Its a Boy! Its a Boy!" GFYSTFU. #
- 12:09 Yes, thorough. No.. not through. #
- 18:00 Cool Ranch Doritos/Pepperjack cheese... best Nachos ever. Also Cool ranch/Cream Cheese/Salsa is amazing. #
- 22:12 I just converted two more friends into Avett Brother fans! Excited!! @AvettNation #Avett #
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[06 Oct 2009|11:00pm] |
- 09:37 Listening to the song that won a Grammy for "Song of the Year" in 1966 with a huge smile on my face. Perfect way to start the Morning. #
- 09:38 Also: Chocolate cake for Breakfast #
- 12:38 Not making much progress at work today...our card access is Borked. #
- 12:40 Lunch = Caprese Panini, Miso Soup, and Nutter Butters. Classy. #
- 12:46 This whole sidekick-service-outage is killing me. The only thing I can do is send tweets...No internet. No chatting. BooHoo. #
- 17:15 Pretty sure Dwight Schrute is on my bus. I can't stand hearing about beets. #
- 17:27 :( :( :( :( :( Just came home to find my fave little red squirrel dead in my driveway. :( :( :( :( :( #
- 17:40 @purplesquirrel1 He was the cutest sucker ever. I really wanted to get pictures to share with the Squirrel group on LJ :( #
- 19:09 @Nickupton You have the best/worst/mostridic jokes ever. How do you pull that off? #
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[05 Oct 2009|11:00pm] |
- 00:15 I think Randall Munroe should date me. I might start a petition, actually. Lets make it happen, Tweeters. @xkcd #xkcd #
- 08:55 "I'm bringin sexy back... you motherfuckers watch how I attack." Not true today, but still the best lyric evar. #
- 17:12 Home. Legwarmers. Dinner. Studying. #
- 22:17 Mini Oreos are not as good as regular ones, except that you can dump them in milk and eat them like cereal. WIN! #
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[04 Oct 2009|11:00pm] |
- 12:29 I can't choose between pierogies and potato smiles. Conundrum. #
- 13:31 @rebeccametz I got both! :) No Self control. #
- 17:07 I seem to be having a problem controlling THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE. Whatever is wrong with my throat needs to gtfo. #
- 18:26 Really enjoying this dog-spit facial I got today. An exotic blend of three spits.....Corgi, German Shepherd, and Basset Hound. #
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[30 Sep 2009|11:01pm] |
- 08:11 I am a breathing time machine.... #Avett #
- 08:58 Its mah muthafuckin bestests Birthday...Whhaaaaaaaooooo! (In the style of David Lee Roth) @Tiffgreen #
- 09:01 I think swine flu was created by the government to pull hospitals out of the recession. Increase business! #ConspiracyTheory #
- 11:37 We are having some fruit-fly related drama in our office. I have had ENOUGH of these MOTHEREFFING FRUIT FLIES. #
- 12:50 I am thankful for 600 days of safety and no lost-time injuries on our construction project... because it means I got free lunch today :) #
- 15:55 Ballsack pajamas. This day is retarded. #
- 21:35 Holy shit, the Beatles finally overtook Barenaked Ladies on my Last.fm! Pretty excited to have them out of the #1. All downhill from here. #
- 22:40 OVER IT. Fuck all of you. #
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[29 Sep 2009|11:02pm] |
- 23:23 Today was loooong. Tomorrow might be too. Lets hope something changes over night. #
- 08:15 Okay, its official....I am now on the "Fuck you, Tuesday." Bandwagon. #
- 09:42 "17 years of being married and that's my only advice to you... Marry for money." #
- 09:50 Having a wicked craving for In'n'Out burger. Should prob go back to Vegas. Better weather there, too. #
- 17:53 Headed to Best Buy hoping to Purchase the Avett brothers "I and Love and You." #Avett #
- 18:16 Avett Brothers accomplished with Bonus Lady Gaga purchase...but Dethalbum II is sold out. Aint that some shit. #Avett #
- 18:34 There may or may not be a Bacon Cheeseburger in my mouth right now. Okay, lets be honest...there is. #
- 18:59 Why the hell didn't I find out sooner that you can make Bloodys with Patron?! I adore the Patron Social Club. #
- 22:18 I hope I don't have weird dreams again tonight. Should be better because my anxieties have been remedied. #
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[28 Sep 2009|11:02pm] |
- 02:13 Pretty sure I cracked my ear drum upon reentry of the earths atmosphere. #
- 08:51 Wtf Minnesota. Just a littttle bit of Sunshine would have been a nice 'welcome home' #
- 09:43 Biscuits. AAANNNNDDDDD Gravy. #
- 14:13 The lack of activity on my phone/email today is seriously freaking me out. #
- 17:10 Aaauurrrrgggghhhhhhhhhh. #
- 17:32 My mother just informed me that I have herpes of the throat. Throat herpes. Look out. #
- 19:31 "Oh really, I'm sorry. I thought this was a free country. I didn't know we were living in Communist Sweden." #
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[27 Sep 2009|11:02pm] |
- 00:52 Oh hai Foundation Room... Bottle Service? Yes. The Remy Martin Louis XIII please. #
- 02:27 Oh jesus. Where am I, how did I get here, and wtf am I doing with my life. #
- 04:25 "Alright lets go...because I wanna fucking drop balls. IN CUPS." -Jeffles #
- 04:55 "Virgil.....when did you lose your Virgil-ity?" #
- 05:42 Not looking forward to waking up in 5.5 hours or less. Goodnight, Vegas. #
- 11:27 @spudthesoundguy SWINE FLU! #
- 13:38 Pretty sure @carriewoo just locked me in a hot car with the windows rolled up. Isn't that illegal? #
- 14:21 Change of plans: Was coming home today, but I decided to stay in Vegas so I can catch the Charo concert. #
- 15:17 @mc_lars I saw ICP in Minneapolis recently and it changed my life!! Stoked to see them again in WI next month. #
- 15:48 Would you like to take a trip with me.....to the Manilow store? #
- 16:46 Zomg we just found Dinosaurs!! #
- 17:10 I definitely just leaned in close to smell a dude as I was walking by him. That's pretty damned creepy. #
- 19:04 What the shit...no kiosk check in? I may well miss my flight. #
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