sutlers: (paved with good intentions)
Title: down to gehenna
Fandom: X-men: First Class/Silent Hill (2, mostly)
Pairing: Erik/Charles(ish)
Rating: R
Word Count: 8300
Summary: Welcome back to Silent Hill, Erik Lehnsherr, we hope you enjoy your stay.
Notes: It's a Silent Hill fusion, guys, and all that implies. Consider yourselves warned. For the kink meme.

Erik doesn't remember the fog being this bad.
sutlers: (aren't we all a lovely archipelago)
Title: Just Temporary, Ma'am
Fandom: Thor (2011)
Pairing: Darcy Lewis/Clint Barton (Hawkeye)
Rating: R
Word Count: 4700
Summary: In which Darcy procures a fake boyfriend in order to get Jane off her tits about this "Darcy doesn't have any friends" thing. Which is ridiculous, Darcy has over 300 friends.
Notes: Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental, especially persons named Anderson Cooper. For Mer, fixed by fallia. NOW A PODFIC.

The night Jane's computer crashed three times in a row running algorithms, Darcy suggested—out of the goodness of her heart—that their time might be better spent looking for the wormholes at the bottom of tequila bottles and: )
sutlers: (is that a bird in your hairdo)
And then the other one, which I guess I am de-anoning for. Ugh.

Title: Fear Death by Water
Fandom: X-men: First Class (2011)
Pairing: Charles/Erik
Rating: R
Word Count: 2500
Summary: Things don't really start to go to hell until the next morning.
Notes: Remember when I was like, I'm going to write one sex pollen fic! For one fandom! And get it out of my system forever! But then this happened and I turned out to be a fucking liar.

XMEN SEX POLLEN. THAT'S RIGHT. )
sutlers: (what if your wife orbits my dick)
Title: Hold 'em Like They Do in Texas Please
Fandom: X-men: First Class (2011)
Pairing: Charles/Erik
Rating: R
Word Count: 1000
Summary: Moira MacTaggert is an exceptional woman.
Notes: So there was this terrible prompt on the X-men kink meme about Moira spending all her time imagining Charles and Erik having sex, so of course I had to write it.

Can't read her, can't read her poker face. )
sutlers: (john cusack's life is so hard)
Title: When All of New York City Misses You
Authors: [personal profile] leupagus and [personal profile] sutlers
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 15,400
Summary: In which Danny is the girl in that Looking Glass song and Steve is a dick.
Notes: There is a character called Ben featured here; please note that it is not Ben Bass, who sucks, but rather Ben Kokua, who cries. [personal profile] waketosleep is a trooper and thank you also [personal profile] fallia for listening to me whine.

When Danny opens the screen door on a random Thursday night, a little past ten-thirty, he thinks he knows what's happening just by the set of Steve's shoulders.
sutlers: (BAM pregnant)
SO GUESS WHAT I DID DURING MY LUNCH BREAK TODAY.

Image

I seem to recall some of you assholes making noises about an H50 Pride and Prejudice AU. WELL???? GET CRACKING.

Okay now I am going back to writing I swear.

Don't know what's going on? Blame Canada.
sutlers: (take shirt off)
SKATING IN RIGHT UNDER THE WIRE, BITCHES, BEFORE THIS SHIT GETS JOSSED BY TONIGHT'S EPISODE.

Title: Some Things to Think About When You Decide to Be an Asshole
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 6,800
Summary: Steve gets high and tries to fuck Danny; things devolve from there.
Notes: That sound you hear? Is the last of my dignity dying. As always, thanks to [personal profile] fallia for being on L'Oreal moment patrol. Because you're worth it, bro.

The Yakuza thing they're working is fucking Steve up pretty bad. )
sutlers: (i am magic)
Also, I filled some things on the kink meme? For my own records, using the Triforce of Suck and the one where Blue Oyster Cult was running through my head the whole time.

Title: How to Ruin Your Life in One Easy Step
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Rating: R
Word Count: 1,300
Summary: What it says on the tin.
Notes: I promised [personal profile] leupagus that I would write her something sexy where Steve was a slut and Danny fucked him all sloppy seconds-like and instead this came out. What the fuck even, I'm so sorry. And apologies to [personal profile] fallia, who spent hours fishing me out of the wormhole of deformed semicolon children. Rimming.

Thing is, okay, Danny knows he's a pretty boring lay—he's not all that adventurous, objectively, and he can get kind of neurotic about his technique—he tries to be careful of people, and that just doesn't necessarily translate to the most scorching of fucks. )
sutlers: (and f is for fu--)
PSA: THE NEW HAWAII FIVE-0 IS THE GAYEST SHOW THAT EVER GAYED AND SCOTT CAAN IS LIKE THIS ADORABLE TINY FURIOUS LONG-SUFFERING BALL OF GAY AND ALEX O'LOUGHLIN IS LIKE THIS ENORMOUS OBNOXIOUS CONSTITUTIONALLY UNSOUND (due process? up yours!) BALL OF GAY AND ONE DAY I WILL MAKE A PROPER POST TO GET YOU ALL TO WATCH IT BUT FOR NOW HAVE THIS:

PS I WILL TOTALLY PROSTITUTE MYSELF FOR THE PERSON WHO MAKES A VID ABOUT STEVE'S ~MANPAIN~ TO "ADDICTED TO BAD IDEAS" BY THE WORLD INFERNO FRIENDSHIP SOCIETY.


Title: Welcome to Hawaii! or, The Delicate Art of Crisis Negotiation
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Rating: R
Word Count: 1,700
Summary: So basically Danny hasn't had sex with anyone but his ex-wife since he was 17 years old, and now there is Steve, who is crazy and an adrenaline junkie and absolutely nothing like her, and also a dude.
Notes: Yeah, it's that coda to episode 1:03. Because where else was it going to go, really? [personal profile] fallia is responsible for all the funny parts and the fact that this is at all readable.

So Steve says, “Maybe you're not as alone out here as you think, Danno,” and Danny thinks, What; Danny thinks, Hold on, is he coming on to me? )
sutlers: (secretary)
P.S. I am kind of drunk right now so I may regret posting this in a few hours. But it has been sitting on my hard drive for months, so.

Title: Moment on the Road
Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn!
Pairing: Yamamoto/Gokudera
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 3,700
Summary: "I get off on pain," Gokudera snapped.
Notes: Heed the summary, you guys. This is late as hell and for the [livejournal.com profile] khrfest prompt "strange affection; cuts and bruises from regrets and mistakes." My eternal gratitude goes to [personal profile] lysapadin, who deserves so much credit for not blocking me after I sent her six successive e-mails full of things like, "IF THEY WERE IN A FORMAL D/s RELATIONSHIP GOKUDERA WOULDN'T HAVE A COLLAR, IT WOULD BE HIS NEW PIERCINGS."

They held Tsuna and Kyoko's anniversary party at a swanky lounge that Reborn had reserved for the occasion. )