NEKTAR

Sometimes it’s good to have a little shakeup.

To do things a little differently, and write from a different perspective.  I was recently invited to join a fabulous group of bloggers and webpreneurs in the Sprout Mastermind Group which brings together a bunch of amazing women in a group where we can bounce ideas off each other, give feedback on business ideas, and see the back end of how other people run their business. Win/win I say!

Our first assignment (in getting to know the 30 some odd women that are in our group, and there are some amazing women in there let me tell you!) is to write a post of the 20 things you didn’t know about me (as I am a descriptive writer when it comes to these things, I thought I’d take it down to 10!).

There is a good mix on this blog of people who are near and dear to me, and those of you who share your good vibes with us here in cyberspace, of whom I have not had the privilege of meeting in the flesh.  Hopefully I will make you laugh, and you’ll maybe learn a thing or two, have a giggle, and maybe even try writing this list yourself or how about sharing “5” things I didn’t know about you down in the comments below??

At first I thought this idea didn’t vibe with my brand, and then I realized I needed this post as I a lot of my recent postings have been quite serious, and truth be told, I actually really like to have fun!!!  So in the spirit of fun, I’m going to throw some random confessions in between.

Time to refresh, recharge, and relax.

Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Me

1)  I grew up in a house full of kids AND senior citizens.  We had Norman, John (he liked to nude up from time to time….nuff’ said!), Walter, Henry (he wanted to take me to California in my green Lada), and Victor to name a few.  These people were living in our home and under the care of my mother.  I could write a book solely about our life with 6 kids and these people.  But instead I’ll leave you with Victor’s favorite chant…

Picture a man in a flaming red track suit, with a very strong British accent, and  a serious case of Parkinson’s Disease (bless his heart).  Oh, and he carried a big stick when he went walking, and my Dad used to have to go and find him when he didn’t return for ages. He would usually find him in a ditch somewhere with the stick and legs flailing. True Story.  That man was not going to let Parkinson’s beat him, so the ditch it was!

“How do you like your carrots? Raw, Raw, Raw…..How do you like your cabbage? Slaw, Slaw, Slaw? How do you like the other team? They’re fooooooor the biiiiiirds!!!!” (sung in a high pitched tune).

Great start to life I say.

Random Confession: I used to really get annoyed that we had all these elderly people in our house.  One day I came home from school with a friend to find one of them naked sitting in a chair in the front hall.  Kids used to ask me if the guy in the flaming red track suit flailing around my yard was my Dad when I got off the school bus. 

Total embarrassment….

2) I moved to Saudi Arabia to work in a hospital when I was 23 years old.  While I was there I also worked with Saudi Princesses teaching them fitness classes.   I also worked with royalty yet again in Bahrain doing the same job working in a private gym.  No joke, and yet again, another book for the collection!!  So many stories…

Random Confession: At one of the Bahraini weddings I  sat with another personal trainer.  There was bling everywhere.  We decided to case the joint for the chance of finding even ONE random earring.  That could’ve set us up for life…..lol!

Mission was unsuccessful by the way!

3) I have this strange annoyance with certain things related to my feet.  The other day I went ballistic when my daughter rammed her scooter into the back of ankles and I ended up throwing the scooter halfway across the room.  Seriously, I am as cool as a cucumber, as long as you don’t step on my feet, get my feet wet, or ram me up the back of my ankles.  Ask my husband, he knows all about it!!

Random Confession: I have never been known to be skinny, always been a voluptuous, athletic, or curvy girl.  My ankles are the skinniest part of my body and I really like them. Not because they are slim, but just because…

4) A few years ago, someone challenged me to something I never thought I would ever do.   In June 2008, I stepped in the boxing ring in front of 800 people and fought in a White Collar Boxing Match.  I was Steph, “The Hammer” Hamilton.  I fought “The Bomber” (no joke)…I trained HARD.  I have always had a fear of getting hit.  I got hit.  But…I walked through that crowd (imagine people dressed in their finest…tuxes, Louboutins, bright lights, dry ice pumped through the air, cameras everywhere, chicks in hot pants in the ring, bottles of champagne, wine, and Jack Daniels spilling out from every corner), got in that ring, faced my fears, and fought HARD.  One of the best experiences of my life.  OH, and boy was I fit!!!

Random Confession: If there is a box of chocolates, I will always sneak and go to the bottom row.  I will grab as many as I can and then cover up the box as if I’ve only taken one.  Not that this has anything to do with boxing, except for the fact that I gave up sugar while I was training. Oh, and because I feel like some now…

5) I was born in Canada but my “soul” home is in the desert.  In the Middle East, I have lived in Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Abu Dhabi and Dubai to date.  I currently call Dubai home  and always feel a real sense of peace when I’m here (contrary to what the media would have you believe about the Middle East being a dangerous place).  I love the mystery, vastness and beauty of the desert.  I got engaged in the middle of a huge sand dune in the middle of nowhere (2 weeks after meeting my husband), and we’ve been together many lifetimes in this area of the world in the past.  So in a sense, Canada is where I was born, but my soul feels most at ease when I’m in the Middle East.  This is HOME.

Random Confession: I didn’t actually like my husband when I first met him. Thought he was a womanizer.  Totally uninterested (although secretly I did think he was hot), and laughed when my Irish friend said “Oh, haven’t ye met James Hamilton?? He’s the bachelor of the moment!!!” Seriously?? Who talks like that!? Only the Irish can get away with something like that….makes me laugh to this day, and it’s funny how the Universe conspires to bring soul mates together!

6) I used to work in a Medical lab in the hospital, but now consider myself  an “alchemist” and channel for healing.  I have now gone down the alternative route and work with color (Aura Soma Color Practitioner), crystal, and plant energies.   I am now exploring the power of sound waves to heal in combination with color and light, mainly using tuning forks, crystal singing bowls, and the power of voice and the breath.

It is a very exciting to be working in a field that influences not only my daily life, but has also helped foster my creativity and allowed my authentic self to re-surface.  I have had some very powerful breakthrough’s with my clients.  Most of them have had massive shifts and transformation within only one session of seeing me. I am a channel, and have the ability to connect to other realms (mainly work with Angelic Realms and Ascended Masters, but occasionally get contacted by other “beings” if it is of benefit to my client), as well as having very sharp intuitive and clairvoyant skills.

I help people to clear their “chakra’s” (energy centers) and can intuitively feel their blockages within my physical body whether in their presence, or they are halfway around the world.  It often manifests itself as physical discomfort in my body and then I am able to ask them questions related to this and get guidance on “shifting” the energy block out of their bodies.  Children are like magnets to the work I do.  My daughters have already experienced huge benefits from the work I do which makes me really proud.  I am really fortunate to have a beautiful healing room that I have created in my home, that I can share with clients, friends, and family.

Random Confession: I have been a healer for many, many lifetimes.  I’ve been hung as a witch in one life, but let’s not focus on that.  They might find out I’m doing it again and throw me into a volcano!!!!

7) I have a dream to sit opposite Oprah on Super Soul Sundays.  I have always been a great fan (ok, um, who isn’t though, right??) and always had this voice in me saying that I would be on her show.  For years I couldn’t figure out the “how” or “why”, until recently when I published my first book “Hungry”-Feed Your Soul, I realized that this was how it was meant to happen.  Over a year ago I was guided to write this book and was shown that it would reach far across the world and be read by millions of people. I always knew I’d write a book (well, I’m sure it will be many!), but thought it would be more like a novel.  Instead, I was guided to use my images, stop procrastinating and create a “soul feast” to share my experiences and connect with something everyone can relate to. I followed my instincts, and doors started opening. I initially was only going to self publish through Blurb.com, then was encouraged by a small publisher to publish through them (they nominated the book for 2 awards straight away), and weeks later received a call from the Hay House family who my book is now published under as well.  The book is doing really well, and I know divine timing will get it where it needs to be.

BTW, my brother lives in Chicago about 20 mins from Harpo Studios so he has been in there a few times trying to catch sight of Oprah for me.  Love it!

Random Confession: Sometimes I go and try on different pairs of designer shoes imagining that I’m getting ready to fly to Chicago and meet Oprah (oh, and see my brother, he lives there too!).  The other day I found some nice Manolo’s….they would do quite nicely thanks!!!

(Hmmm, dirty Havainas, or sparkly Manolo????)

8) I used to almost LIVE in the kitchen and have a great love of food and all things culinary (is peanut butter considered gourmet??).

As perfectionism was something (and still is at times) I struggled with intensely for years, this was one of my ways of manifesting it.  My friend used to call me “Martha” every time she came over for dinner, or to sample some baked goodies!

I’ve pushed my creativity into other areas like photography and writing now and have adopted the phrase “Imperfection is Perfection” which has now become a hallmark and theme of my brand Nektar.  Accept things as they are and love the flaws, imperfections, and lessons that come with them!

Random Confession: I used to shove bits of my lunch down my leotards (some people call them tights, you know…..the things that keep your legs warm with feet attached!) and then go to the bathroom and flush the food down the toilet when I was about 5 or 6 years old.  Not sure how I didn’t think my Mom would find out when there were bread crumbs and bits of mayonnaise smeared inside them when I took them off! Or maybe it was the floating bread crust in the toilet…..hmmmm.

Not very “Martha” is it??

9) I have been lucky in my adult life to have travelled all over the world, and consider my top travel experiences to be the ones where I’ve given something back.  A trip to Ethiopia last year with 5 girlfriends was an experience to remember.  Handing out clothing and supplies from the back of a 4 x 4 and seeing this beautiful country was  a dream come true.  You can read about it here.  I was also fortunate to get to Vietnam earlier this year with our family and collected money for my 40th birthday to help out a Special Needs Homeless Shelter  by buying a new wheelchair for them and boxes of crayons and coloring paper.  As my daughter Ruby has Down Syndrome, this was near and dear to my heart and I have since gone on to design 5 Limited Edition Cushions, using my photographic images to donate proceeds back to this amazing organization.

This is something I’m really passionate about, I believe that everyone has the ability to give something back every time they travel and make a point of teaching my kids that when you travel you will gain so much more by leaving the country feeling like you’ve improved someone’s life, even if it’s just a little.

For me giving FEELS REALLY GOOD…..

Random Confession: I used to worry about posting stuff like this thinking that people would think I was trying to hide something.  Weird programming….old stuff……just something I grew up with that said that if you were doing something really good, then you must be up to something really bad in reality, which was passed from my mother from her grandmother, and so on, and so on. It is my nature to live in a glass half full mentality, but there was a lot of pessimism in my childhoodI( not sure if that was just the 70’s and 80’s in general?). I say balance is good, I learned from both.  And by the way, I won’t tell you the bad things I’m up to behind closed doors!! lol

10) I have done a complete 360 in how I view life after living for New Zealand (my husband’s native land) for 3 years.  New Zealand is a beautiful, wild, and wonderful place.  I did some of the hardest times in my life when I lived there, in that I experienced some of the biggest spiritual shifts and difficult times, yet it was the biggest gift I could ever receive (outside having my girls of course!).  I developed an insane appreciation for the “little things” in life, and for the detail that nature displays when you stop and take notice.  I channeled most of my book in the notes section of my iPhone over the course of a few months walking to a deserted, but very sacred piece of land in New Zealand, and I believe the energy had to come from that place to make it happen .

This blog was conceived and born in New Zealand, and took me through the experimentation of making washing powder, having my own beehives, getting raw milk in an illegal milk ring (for real), while I found my true soul centre and realized where I was meant to be heading.

I am forever grateful for my time in NZ, and will always have ties to this amazing place…

Random Confession:I also did a complete 360 in my exercise regime as sessions of intense exercise changed to baking (eating!!) cakes and eating copious amounts of really good food.  New Zealand has a reputation for some of the world’s best food and wine, and some of the best baking recipes in the world. When in Rome!

Well that’s it! I could write another 20 points about me, but then that wouldn’t leave any room for mystery, would it?  I look forward to reading your comments below and “5 things you didn’t know about me”. Please go ahead and share! I love reading about people and their stories, it’s what makes the world an interesting place to live!

There was a moment in my life where I felt the need to run……

Stuck to a cold hospital bed, in a lonely room in Abu Dhabi, legs numb from the aftereffects of my C-section, and as my baby was wheeled down to ICU, I sat trembling in fear.

Wanting to run and hide from the news that was lingering in my room like fine smoke.  Nurses huddled in corners, whispers and smiling glances passed my way as the statement “Down Syndrome” passed slowly from their lips as if caught in time.

(A memory of those moments recounted here and here.)

Over these past seven years it has occurred to me that there are pivotal moments we ALL encounter where we feel we could just RUN…….run away from it all, hide in the hills and never look back.  You hear people talk of fleeting moments, in a magical and mystical way.

“Don’t take for granted what you’ve got”……”These are fleeting moments, cherish them, they’ll be gone before you know it…”.

In my case in this instant, it was more of a fleeing moment I was thinking about!

How can I rewind the clock?  Maybe I should have had those prenatal tests and then I wouldn’t be in this situation?  Please, oh please God, take me away……

Of course this was not the veneer I decided to display to those who came in contact with me, but rather that of a seasoned warrior.

“We are blessed, she is a gift, there’s a reason we were chosen as her parents….” were the words that seamlessly slipped from my mouth as though I had rehearsed them for the biggest performance I was to play in my life.

In reality, I felt isolated, alone, and scared as hell for what was to come….

Now, before I go any further, I want to make one thing perfectly clear.  Despite all these feelings, there was NO doubt whatsoever that I had an intense and DEEP love for this beautiful child.  That is the part that was so confusing and put me through such a deep internal struggle.

I felt LOVE…….and yet I wanted to RUN…….

I just recently participated in a 72km relay (with 4 other very competent runners!) through the wadi’s and mountains in Oman (a race called Wadi Bih).  I can honestly say that this was probably the scene I envisioned for myself when having that moment of wanting to run and hide.  Off in the mountains, where no one could find me….somewhere that I could find the strength to want to to run BACK and meet things head on.

My philosophy in life has always been this..

“Things happen for a reason.  We are always where we need to be in any given time.  Life takes us where we are meant to go.”

The same rings true for the birth of my beautiful daughter Ruby.  She came into our lives for a reason, and that reason is so utterly simple, yet beautiful.

She came to show me how to LOVE both myself, others, and the things I cannot control around me. I could write this post floundering on and on about how amazing and wonderful and beautiful every moment I have experienced with her in seven years has been.

And it HAS been a beautiful road, full of twists and turns, bumps, flat tires, super adrenaline filled racing, and smooth sailing. It has been the road I was meant to travel, with Ruby as my copilot, steering me back on the track when I venture off it.

But it has also been a time of internal struggle, frustration, and pain.  The realization that she rarely gets invited to play dates (I can count them on one hand in seven years), the fact that upon our return to Dubai that most schools here don’t see my daughter as an “equal” or as someone who can contribute to their establishment despite the fact that she has achieved “Outstanding Reading” just recently (to the school that decided to take a chance on her, thank you!), or the fact that we live in an Alcatraz like state with bolts, locks, and boundary walls around us for Ruby’s safety (she’s a runner!).

Through every hurdle, and every struggle, I have felt the need to run.  I would much rather bury my head in the sand and pass the baton on to someone else at times.  And the reason I share this so candidly with you is because I know that YOU TOO also have times where life hands you a challenge, and you feel it is all too much to carry.  I want to connect with you and let you know that you’re not alone, and that your struggle is not less, not more, nor insignificant.

We all process things in different ways.  What we have done for years is shoved everything under the carpet, hidden things behind closet doors, and for this we have suffered.  It’s time to be able to air your closets, release the dust that clings to the corners and set yourself free.

I love my daughter more than words can describe.  She is ALL heart and soul and carries an intense energy of LOVE unparalleled by no one I’ve ever met.

She is the love magnet, and clings lovingly to everyone who comes into contact with her.  She gives freely, openly and unselfishly of herself, and for seven years I have been privileged to be her mother.

I have always maintained that raising Ruby will be the same as raising any of my other girls.  The rules will be the same, there is no special treatment, and that the achievements will overshadow the difficulties.

I believe we have achieved the balance for the most part, but there is that consideration that things with Ruby are slightly different, but it’s where we choose to focus our attention that matters.

Ruby is Ruby and thank God for that!  Looking back over these seven years I am just so proud of how far she has come.  To achieve outstanding reading (the top level) in a mainstream school is one thing, but to personally witness the amount of love she has projected onto others is the pinnacle of her success.

There isn’t a moment where she’s not giving freely of her beautiful spirit and never-ending fountain of LOVE…..

Please join me a for a celebration of my favorite recent images of Ruby.  Happy Birthday to the most beautiful spirit….my teacher, daughter, spark of life, and LOVE.

Happy Seventh Birthday Ruby!!!

And on a final note….

“The mirror within the mirror reveals it’s reflection in all it’s truth, and with that I never go hungry again…..”-Nektarism

(An excerpt from the book I recently wrote that was a gift from Ruby. A realization that we are all mirrors of truth to one another and upon knowing this, we are free to express who we really are.  Thank you Ruby for yet another beautiful gift of awakening.)

It seems that every time I sit down to blog lately, my head starts to spin.

When we lived in New Zealand, blogging was like breathing to me, and I seemed to have plenty of time and inspiration to sit down and put pen to paper.  Since moving back to Dubai, I have been swept away in the tsunami of hustle and bustle that makes this city tick.

Admittedly, I have calmed down a lot since we lived here last, but with settling back in,  trying to sort out the schooling issues with Ruby, launching my first book, celebrating my 40th in the Maldives, and traveling to Ethiopia, it’s been a little bit crazy to say the least!

While I miss some aspects of New Zealand, I truly feel at home in the desert, and my heart sings knowing that I am planted where I am truly meant to be.  New Zealand will always be a very special part of my life, and I will never forget the profound changes I experienced there, and the pure and utter beauty that I felt in my heart from being able to take the time to “stand still” in the pristine beauty that surrounded me.

As I sit here on the 24th of December with a belly full of turkey, and 3 little munchkins tucked up in their beds, I feel a deep sense of peace in knowing that this year has brought us many great challenges, and many blessings.

There have been many times this year that I have questioned just exactly what it is I am doing, and where I am going.  I have questioned who I am, and whether or not I am the same person that I was when I left a few years back.  And while the answer to that is a clear “no”, I find it easier to just drift in the moment, and let it define the “who”, the “what”, and the “where” of my everyday life.

I have been really excited about the new energy that is emerging around us with the end of the Mayan calendar.  I have been eager to feel it enter, almost more than my children wanting to see their Christmas tree laden with presents, I wanted to personally feel this new wave of LOVE that is meant to wash over us.

And so, the 21st came, and rather than feeling a wave of love, I was hit hard with a sea of chaos!  James and I were arguing, the kids were throwing tantrums, and everyone around me seemed very unsettled.  Not exactly what I had in mind!!

There has been an uneasiness in the air, and I know that there are many of you out there that felt it too. For me, that’s the time I need to break out of the comfort zone and get out and connect with nature before I completely lose my mind!

I decided recently that we needed a little piece of NZ here in Dubai with us as we have been missing our veggie garden!  Enter Hayley from Be Supernatural, Dubai’s gardening and all things that are natural and healthy guru, and soon enough, we were planting seeds to bring some life to our front garden!

I went to the local plant market and got a few plants to get me started….

Then Hayley came over and away we went!  The timing felt so right….there we were planting new seeds, for a new garden that will hopefully help to nourish my family and give us the sense that we are contributing to a healthier planet. I want my girls to know everything there is to know about being able to provide fresh food for themselves and their families in the future, and there is no simpler and greater gift than planting a simple garden to get things going!

Being able to share Hayley’s knowledge was amazing.  In New Zealand, it is very easy to grow just about anything.  Here in Dubai, it is a completely different story with a lower quality of soil, searing temperatures, and little rain.  Hayley has the experience of knowing how to plan your garden to get the most out of the Dubai climate.  She drew up a plan, which I can now duplicate once it comes time to replant everything.  You can tell that Hayley is super passionate about what she does, and I highly recommend using her services if you are interested in getting a healthy veggie patch growing (with a lot more than just tomatoes and herbs!) here in Dubai!

Of course I also had some help from one of my own little garden fairies…..

And if planting our home garden wasn’t enough to ground me, then it was off to the magic and beauty of the desert to mark the occasion of “new beginnings”.  What better place to feel alive and free? To feel at peace, and to throw all your cares to the wind and just let yourself go?

I had a vision some time ago about planting a tree in the desert.  I know it sounds crazy, but if we are to be living in a world of infinite possibilities and to live outside the norm of everyday life, then doesn’t it stand to reason that there might just be room for a bit of magic in our lives?  Isn’t it possible that with a bit of love and good intention that anything can grow even in the starkest surroundings?

Let’s hope so!!

What I can say for sure is that it became very apparent to me that we need very little in life to be happy……….

With nothing more than miles of sand,

a few random trees,

the warm sun on our backs,

Stu on the BBQ,

and the beautiful company of great friends,

there is really nothing more that I could have asked for to bring me that energy of peace, love, and harmony that I so knew was possible.  The key is that, in order to find it, I needed to just breathe and take a step back, and get back to basics.  That always seems to work for me.

Take a breath, slow down, and inhale the simple beauty that surrounds me every day if I take a minute to see it.

Can you see how much magic there is in simplicity?

And as for that tree, we planted it that day.  Took our spades, found a shady haven under another tree, and planted that tree, with hopes that with a little love and magic, it will thrive in the heat of the desert.

With LOVE and good intention, ANYTHING is possible…….

Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful families, wherever you may be in the world today!!