OUR 2017 - The full story of our crazy & emotional year

2017 has been the toughest, and most emotionally draining year I have ever endured. 
Anyone who knows me knows I do not like to talk about personal feelings. People always tell me I wear my heart on my sleeve and that you can see right though me. If I’m happy, excited, proud, uplifted and feeling amazing the whole world sees it. But if I’m on the other end of that spectrum I try and tuck all those negative feelings down and store them away inside…. I know I’m not good at hiding that either, but I put on a smile and I try. The one thing I’ve learned this year is how unhealthy it is to keep your emotions locked up. I keep hearing how healthy it is to open up and talk about your feelings so here we go, lets give this shit a try.

I have a friend who I admire more then she will ever know. She has been through more than one person should ever have to endure in a life time, yet she has publicly shared her story about losing her family, and the hurdles of medical conditions she watched her husband overcome. I find so much strength in her being able to share her story and talk about her grief. 
I know there can be healing peace found within sharing your raw emotions and I hope I can find that. As a bonus if I can bring some awareness to some of the diseases we have battled and help anyone along the way by sharing our story then I would be honored to do so.


If we rewind back to January, the year started off amazing as we had the best 10 day family vacation in Arizona and rang in the new year watching the Flames game from our condo in Scottsdale. We returned home excited to get back to our busy life full of hockey, gymnastics, school, work and all the other excitement our life brings. 
However our excitement quickly faded as Haylen’s neck pain was back and his neck spasms were hitting him in full force. He was unable to go school some days and we started physiotherapy and a long road of doctors appointments. At this time he had been having neck pain for well over a year and it only seemed to be getting worse. 
While receiving physiotherapy treatments for his neck every other day, Farah started to feel ill. As you know she has had health issues in the past that have given us some awful scares but those were nothing compared to what lie ahead for her. 

On January 24th, she developed a cough that was bad enough that I took her into the Lacombe hospital to be checked out. The doctor said she had croup, gave her a steroid and send her home. As I snuggled in bed with her I knew this was something more then croup. I called Health link, and the nurse told me to continue to monitor her breathing. I had been monitoring her breathing like a hawk for the past 24 hours day and night, as she has been hospitalized before for respiratory issues when she was younger. As the night went on and I could see her struggling more and more, I knew I had to take her in to be looked at again and so began the worst moments of my life.  


It was 3:00am, Ryan’s away at work and I need help ASAP. I called our friend in tears and they quickly came over so I could drive Farah to the ER.

The second I got into the hospital they immediately called a code and took her to the trauma room. She was pale, lethargic and struggling to breathe.
 I placed her down on the bed and before I could take off my coat I could no longer see her. There were 6 or 7 nurses and doctors working on her. Taking vitals, hooking up oxygen masks, starting IVs, drawing blood and moving a mile a minute. I could do nothing but stand there and watch with streams of tears rolling down my cheeks as I pray over and over in my head to help her. I was quickly moved to her side so I could hold her and try to calm her, as she was beyond terrified herself.

After a short while I learned how ill she really was.
Her oxygen levels were dangerously low as they were down to 62. (62/100) She had subcutaneous emphysema, which caused the skin and tissues around her lungs and collarbones to be indrawn and sunken in. She had a virus and was suffering a sever asthma attack. 

I remember overhearing the doctor talk on the phone about her and he kept saying “We need to move her now, she is going to tire out” I had no idea what that meant or who he was even talking to, I only knew he was talking about her as he kept referring to the 5 year old female in major distress. 

 
I finally got to speak with the doctor and he told me that she needed to be moved to the city as the Red Deer Hospital is not set up to help children as sick as she is. He let me know that the PICU Transport team would be sent down from the Stollery to pick her up. They tried to airlift her but it was too foggy to fly so an ambulance had to be sent down for transport.  She could not be sent in an ambulance from Red Deer, as it was crucial that a pediatric doctor and nurse travel with her so they could continue to treat her and work on her.


My heart sank and the tears were flowing more then ever as the doctor continued to explain what he meant by saying “she is going to tire out” … as she was working so hard to breath they feared they would have to intubate her. A medical provider was to be beside her at all times ready to put a tube down her throat and hook her up to a machine to breath for her if she were to stop breathing on her own.
 

I was in panic mode, scared and a complete mess, the nurse took me aside and said “I know you’re scared but so is she and right now we need to try and calm her, so talk to her about anything, home, school, friends, animals, anything at all.” …..I talked and talked but the only thing that seemed to calm her was when I talked about our trip to Arizona or mentioned her teachers.
We ended up talking a lot of her going back to school and seeing her teachers and it calmed her so much while we were waiting for more help. 
Farah had 4 teachers at Little Stars that I will never forget. Four ladies that helped my daughter in that moment and mean more to me they will ever know. 



It seemed like forever but Farah’s ambulance showed up and we started the journey to Edmonton. I have so much appreciation and respect for our first responders, doctors and nurses. The level of calmness they can maintain while in a stressful situation is admirable.


Ryan immediately jumped on a plane and headed for Edmonton to meet us at the hospital.

During the drive Farah continued to receive Ventolin through a nebulizer every 5 minutes along with high flow oxygen through a mask.
Once she got to the hospital she was taken to the Intensive Care Unit and passed off to another team of amazing doctors and nurses. Over time she was able to drop her Ventolin from every 5 minutes, to every 10 to 15 to 30 and so on. As the fear of intubation remained high she spent the next few days being monitored 24 hours by a specialized nurse. She remained on the high flow oxygen but was able to move from a mask to nasal prongs, she had 2 different antibiotic’s being administered through 2 IV’s in both her hands. 
She was being treated for a severe asthma exacerbation and a virus.


We had so many ups and downs as we watched her monitors every second.

She was fighting. Hard. And she was beginning to win.


After 2 days she was finally able to be moved out of Intensive care and placed into a room on the Pediatric Unit. 
She got stronger and stronger with each day and after a total of 5 long days at the Stollery she had her oxygen prongs taken off and we prayed hard that she could hold her oxygen levels on her own so we could take our baby girl home. 


When she was released she was back to our happy smiling girl and we couldn’t be more proud of the strength she had shown us. 

She continued to have follow up appointments with many different specialist but she spend the next 2 months doing cart wheels and handstands, and running around the arena like nothing had ever happened. 




Up until the end of March. We were in Lethbridge for a hockey tournament and she told me she had a sore throat. She then developed a fever but we kept giving her Tylenol, Advil and her inhalers to try and stay on top of her breathing issues….
Once we got back home from the weekend, her inhalers no longer seemed to be helping so I took her back to the ER….. Again they immediately took her in and started her on Oxygen and ran an asthma protocol. 
They took x-rays and determined there that she had pneumonia, so she was admitted into the Pediatric unit at the Red Deer Hospital. 
Ryan was home so he was able to stay with us in her room, but it was the end of his days off and he had to go back to work. Farah seemed to be getting better, she remained on oxygen and IVs but I said to Ryan, she is doing good, she’s in the right place, we will be fine, go to work and I will let you know what is going on. His work was amazing in giving him the time off to be with us in Edmonton the whole time in January, but being he had missed so much work we decided he would go since I figured Farah would be home in a day or two. 


But I was wrong.
Painfully wrong. 



Two Days into her stay in the Red Deer Hospital, while hooked up to oxygen, IV’s and all medications, she took a turn for the worse and went back into major respiratory distress.

The doctors were once again at a loss of what was happening and how to treat her.
I felt my heart once again shatter into a million pieces as I heard the words “She is going to tire out” come out of the doctor’s mouth.


I prepared for the worst, not knowing what was going to happen....


She was already in the hospital, and they are already helping her, doing all they can, yet she is getting worse and nobody knows why.

The fear of intubation was higher then ever so they made the call to the PICU transport team and before I knew it we were back in an ambulance being rushed back to the intensive care in Edmonton. 


We are once again left watching every single number on her machines go up and down, praying our daughter can gain her strength so that we don’t have to watch a machine breath for her.

When she got to the Stollery they were very unsure of what they were dealing with, as none of her symptoms were adding together to make their typical diagnosis but they remained to treat her for an asthma attack and pneumonia.

Ryan flew back from work and stayed by her side in the PICU.


We were heartbroken.


Here is our little girl that has fought so hard but remains back in this hospital bed in the intensive care hooked up to more wires and machines than I ever want to see. 


The days that followed were tough, but Farah once again showed us how strong she was. Two days later she no longer needed 24 hour monitoring by the PICU Nurses, so she was again moved up to the Pediatric Unit. This time we had our own private room. 

What a blessing that is. 

I was asked the same questions over and over by many different doctors. It was beyond overwhelming. Farah had major anxiety and didn’t want anyone to touch her. 

Even though she was out of the Intensive Care she was still very lethargic, and weak. 
We had not seen her smile in 5 days and she didn’t have to strength to put together more then 2 words at a time. 

Every moment we shared in that hospital room was like reliving her life. 

Finally seeing her stand on her own was a huge accomplishment. 

My heart leapt for joy when my 4 year old took a few steps again on her own.


Slowly the wires starting coming off her little body, the IV’s came out and the new prayer was for her to be able to breath without oxygen.


After 10 days in the hospital she was able to breath unassisted and hold her oxygen levels enough to go home!!!


I thought that was end, and I was going to smile again. My baby was home and getting better each day. But I was more overwhelmed then ever. 

Every thought, every fear, and every single emotion I had bottled up came raging out.  I stayed so strong while she was in the hospital. I fought so hard along side her and never had a chance to process it all until we were home. 

I cried and cried and cried and eventually I started to heal.



Though those 2 months and in the months following we traveled back and forth between Calgary, Red Deer and Edmonton for doctors appointments for both Farah and Haylen. 
We have seen Pulmonologists, Immunologists, allergists, ENTs, Rheumatologists, Neuro-Surgeons, Pediatricians had MRIs, X-Rays and had multiple trips to the lab to have blood taken. 

While at the immunologists with Farah we discovered that our little 5 year old girl has had blood taken 20 different times.
Oh that thought hurts my heart, it is no wonder she is scared of needles. 

But the biggest kicker is although we have traveled and seen so many specialist our response to our daughter health remains one big question mark, that nobody knows the answer to.  
Why does she become so ill? Can we prevent another attack? … Nobody knows the answer and it is beyond frustrating.


Farah is home, our girl is thriving and we are ready to move on and enjoy life. But April comes and Haylen’s issues worsened.


As I mentioned previously he had been having neck pain for over a year, He has seen many different doctors, had different physical assessments, treatment of phyiso-therapy, chiropractic treatments, or massages that are not fixing the issue. X-rays are been taken but they are not showing anything even though the pain continues to be present so an MRI was ordered to further investigate. 

We took Haylen to the Children’s Hospital to get the MRI done on his neck, the following day we got a call saying he needs to come back a.s.a.p. to get more images taken with a dye injection to see things more clearly, so back to Calgary we went  for another MRI. Friday we got the results that he has swelling in is neck between C1 and C2 so he was sent for specialized blood work with a referral to see a Rheumatologist back in Calgary…..




That week following our 2 trips to Calgary for Haylen’s MRI’s,  Farah had 3 1/2 hours worth of testing in Edmonton at the Stollery.She had the Sweat Chloride Test to rule out Cystic Fibrosis.... that test came back negative. Thank God! She had x-rays to compare a picture of her now healthy lungs to the images taken in the PICU... her lungs are now clear and perfect. She had a breathing test to diagnose asthma... those tests are incomplete as the kids generally have to be 5 in order to do them right... they said she did amazing and got good results but they are not fully conclusive to make a diagnosis... even though she has been treated for 2 severe Asthma Exacerbation in a two and a half month span the answer to the question "does she have asthma?" Still remains unclear. Her Pulmologist is still very uncertain what is going on and we got no answers of why she was so ill twice in such a short time span, but we did rule out a few things that he was concerned of and that is a good thing...

To see the X-rays of her lungs be so clear is a HUGE relief as they were so uncertain of what they were dealing with during her hospital stay in March. They didn't know if it was pneumonia or a particular lung collapse or something else. I tried not too worry to much but my mind kept wondering, so it was a huge sigh of relief to see her lungs so clear. Even though we didn't get any clear answers or ways to prevent another attack, we were ruling out things and we took that as a step forward.


We remain trying to keep life for the kids as normal and routine as possible in between all the chaos. 

Haylen has been a champ through all of this. I was scared to let him come to the hospital to see his sister as I didn’t want him to have to see her with IV’s and Oxygen and tubes and wires, but they missed each other so much. He knew where she was and we knew he was worried about her so we let him come and sit with her in the hospital and I know that helped them both. 
He has seen things I never wish any kid would see but with his big heart he has said he wants to work harder to reach his goals for his Ice-Cream shop so he can keep helping sick kids!


Despite our efforts to keep life normal, we began seeing some big changes in our son.
His behavior was different. 
Very different. 

He is normally a very calm kid that doesn’t get too upset, but he began having these random outbursts that were unlike anything I had ever seen.
I didn’t know how to handle him.
I felt like the worst mother in the world.
I thought, seriously what mother doesn’t know how to handle her own son? 
I made multiple calls to Ryan at work and he would sit and chat with Haylen to calm him down. Ryan quickly became Haylen’s rock and he was always there when he was needed. 
The more Ryan and I talked about it and did a little research we realized we were dealing with Childhood anxiety.


Now this is also the part where I need to apologize for my misunderstanding on this awful disease. 
I was one who simply thought, ‘get over it, count your blessings and move on’…. Or simply ‘control your child and teach them how to be a respectable human’……


I was uneducated and 100% wrong.


Anxiety isn’t a choice.  It isn’t a behavioral issue.
It is an awful overpowering feeling that you have no control over. After spending months reading on how to deal with a child with anxiety and learning more and more about this disease I was able to talk to Haylen and figure out what was going on.


This poor kid didn’t know how to deal with everything going on around him.
We talked and talked and he shared with me his constant thoughts.

His two constant heartbreaking thoughts,

1. That the pain he was feeling in his neck was never going to stop

2. That he was going to lose his sister.

Things a child should NEVER have to worry about.

He is so much like me and he kept everything bottled up inside and when there was too much to handle he exploded.

He didn’t want to sleep because he was scared he would wake up to us being gone and his sister would be back in the hospital. 

But when he was awake he was in so much pain.

I learned right then how important it was to communicate and share your feelings.
Haylen and I have always had a strong bond. I think that is why I took it so hard when he would have these outbursts around me. Daddy became his calming rock, but that was because he understood him more. As I learnt more about anxiety and the overwhelming fears that was crippling our son, I was then able to help him. Help him not be so scared, help him manage his pain, and let him know how important it was to talk to me and share his feelings. 

He no longer is suffering from anxiety and we have our amazing bond back. Haylen has always been my rock. No matter what that kid gives me strength and he teaches me something new all the time.


June came along and we met with a neurosurgeon for Haylen. He had to assess him to be sure that the swelling was not affecting his spinal column or compressing any nerves. What a relief it was to get an all clear from that department.


Later on in June Haylen had a scheduled surgery to have his tonsils and adenoids removed as testing earlier in the year showed he had large adenoids and he had sleep apnea as they were obstructing his nasal passage. 

Being Haylen is one tough kid I didn’t worry too much about this surgery. He wasn’t scared, so why should I be.
They prepped him for surgery and I watched the nurse roll Haylen off as he handed out his business cards to all the doctors and nurses they passed on the way to the OR. I grabbed a coffee, a bite to eat and hurried back to wait in his room. Being in the hospital and seeing the ambulances come and go was not a good feeling for me so I headed back to his room to hide out while I waiting for him to come back.

I heard these awful screams and terrible crying coming down the hall and I tried to ignore them, although they got closer and closer. I soon realized that was my son making all that awful noise.


We discovered that Haylen is very sensitive to anesthetic.


He woke up from his surgery in complete disarray.
He was crying, trying to get up, ripped out his IV and wanted to get out of there. He was so delusional and they couldn’t calm him so they thought they would bring him up to mom to see if I could help. 
He didn’t know where he was, and was a complete mess. He was swinging at everyone who tried to help him. He kept trying to run away even though he could barely walk. He ended up locking himself in the bathroom and tried to change all his clothes. I had all the nurses leave and I was able to open the door and hold him. I was able to calm him enough to get him into his bed, but then he started hyperventilating. 
At this time the nurses didn’t know if he had ripped his breathing tubes out when he took his IV’s out so they were scared he opened up his wounds and caused trauma in his airways. They put him on oxygen and had a respitory therapist come to monitor him. As the oxygen helped to clear the anesthetic his breathing leveled out and he fell asleep in my arms. 

He had a good 2 hour sleep and we learned that his breathing tube was safely removed by a doctor before he woke up in the recovery so he did not damage his airways.

When he woke up he had no recollection of anything that had happen previously.
He enjoyed multiple popsicles, ice cream and lots of movies.
He left the hospital with $90 in donations from his nurses for the Ronald McDonald House and an offer to come back and sell his ice cream at the hospital’s next event.


The next few months were amazing.
We spent the summer camping in the bush at our favorite spots and we had daddy home for a whole month! This was one of my favorite summers and it was just what our family needed.

Time together, away from the chaos to just enjoy each other.


Haylen worked hard selling ice-cream and he surpassed his goal of raising $7,018 for the Ronald McDonald House when he was named one of Canada’s Outstanding Canadians by Shaw and received a grant to be donated to the Charity of his Choice. He was chosen to be 1 of the 50 Outstanding Canadians and furthermore went on to be named one of the 3 Canadians to receive an additional grant for the RMH. We are beyond proud of his accomplishments and look forward to watching him further succeed.

As summer came to an end we made the decision to jump ship and enroll the kids in St. Gregory Catholic school. This has been one of the best changes we could have made for the kids. We love the school and adore all the teachers there!

September 6^th Farah had surgery to remove her adenoids and took it like a champ! This surgery was a shot in the dark. The surgeon and Pediatricians hope was if they removed the adenoids and cleared up her nasal passage maybe it would help alleviate some of the complications in her lungs. They didn’t make any promises that anything would change, but it’s been the only hope that we have been given so we took it so we can say we have tried everything we can for her.

As Haylen’s pains continued into September we remaining traveling between Red Deer and Calgary to try and get some answers as to why our almost 8 year old is in constant, never ending, pain. 

On September 15 the kids and I headed to Calgary to meet with the Rheumatologist. I walked in expecting the consistent phrase we have heard so many times this past year of  “we don’t know what’s going on, but we will do more testing to find out.” 

Being so unprepared brought so much pain. I sat there fighting back the tears as I felt the weight of the world once again land on my shoulders. My heart crumbled back into pieces as the doctor told me our son has Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis in his neck. She went on to explain how upon assessment she suspects it may be in his Jaw and both his knees as well.


As we sat in this little hospital room I didn’t want the kids to know how devastated I was, so I fought hard and held it together while the doctor went on to explain all the medications he will have to be on along with symptoms and side effects that come along with the medications. 

This diagnosis has taken me months to process….
What do you mean my 8 year old has arthritis, isn’t this a disease only old people get?

I dove into the books to research as much as I could and I’m so thankful for those who have shared their stories dealing with this disease and the medications associated with it as it has been a saving grace to be able to read stories of other kids and speak with other parents on the same emotional roller coaster.


Haylen started treatment which includes taking Naproxen and Methotrexate. These medications are anti-inflammatory drugs that will hopefully help maintain the swelling and reduce the pain. One mediation is a disease modifying drug which takes 6 months to see results but the hope of it is to keep the swelling under control. Being the inflammation is in his neck it is crucial that we monitor and control this to prevent bone deformation from happening. If his bones begin to rub together paralysis may happen. 
When he started the medications, we had been warned that they can be harsh on his stomach so we did not know what to expect. 
Haylen has an extremely high pain tolerance so he may not ever say anything at school, in class or at hockey but we have been told that the best thing we can do is to educate his teachers and coaches on this disease and teach them what to do when he is having a flare. The other thing we have learned is that he has good days and bad days. Haylen has learned to speak up and tell us or anyone if he is having pain that day and if he is, he is not to participate in any activities.


Being he is an active little boy that loves to play hockey we don’t want to take his passion away. This may be a challenge but together with the coaches and teachers he has I know we can do what is best for him.
We just need to have open communication with him and know there may be days he will have to be benched or days he won’t be able to go to school.
We were told to educate teachers and coaches not to push him and to listen to what he has to say. If he says he is tired or sore he has to stop.

This has been a tough concept for me to take in. There has been a few times Haylen has had to remove himself from the ice, the first time I sat in the stands fighting back the tears hoping nobody would notice. As time has gone on we both know how to handle the pains at practice or games. There has been times he has had to watch practice from the stands but together we agreed he will always be there to cheer his team on! Encouragement has a strong power and that’s one thing that goes both ways. 
We hope that if you see him sitting on the bench or in the stands while the rest of his team is on the ice that you encourage him stay strong and keep working hard. Let him know it’s okay and that uplifting support surrounds him.


Being these medications are disease modifying Haylen has a standing order to have blood work done every 3 months to monitor his levels. He also is more susceptible to illness and if he gets a fever, cold or flu he must been seen by a doctor ASAP.


He has now been on his medications for almost 3 months and he is doing amazing! I am stunned by the changes in him. 
He no longer lives every day in pain. 
As mentioned he has his good and bad days but the constant every day aches are not there and that is such a blessing.


We have been a pretty open book with what we have gone through with Farah but we haven’t told too many people about Haylen’s issues as it took a long while to process it all.  However I am so thrilled to say we have our happy, amazing helpful boy back. He is thriving, always working hard to help other kids and anyone he can.   I am still processing but healing. I am always open to new suggestions on ways to help our kids.


To look at both our kids now you would never know the hardships they have faced this year, but when I think back to a few months ago as I watched my daughter fight for her life in the intensive care the one thing I beg of everyone is please please please keep your sick kids home. A cough to one kid may just be that….a cough, but to both my kids a cough can turn into a battle no parents ever want to face. 

The one amazing thing both my kids have taught me this past year is that no matter what they were dealing with they still always wanted to help someone else out. Haylen battled though his pain to reach his goals.
He never quit and Farah never quit. They fought and they won!
… see being competitive can be a good thing ;) lol  

The heartaches we have endured this year have been such learning experiences. I could easily say this year sucked and it was the worst, 

but I refuse to. 

It’s been hard but it has taught us how tough we each are. 
It taught us how important it is to have open communication and how toxic keeping our emotions bottled up inside can be. 

We also learned the power of a hug. Growing up I was never a hugger, but now i'm the crazy lady that hugs everyone all the time!!  I will never forget the strength a hug from someone I barely knew gave me while we awaited the transport team in the hospital. 

You never know the battle someone is facing and a simple hug can provide the strength to keep fighting. 

Knowing someone cares is overwhelming.


Most importantly this year has taught us how much we need each other.  We learnt the importance of leaning on our friends and those around us.

We couldn’t have gotten though this year without encouraging support and help of our friends and family.

We also reconfirmed what we already knew….Family really is everything. 

Ice Cream & Playschool

Since Farah and joined our family life around here has been hectic to say the least! between a newborn, a busy 3 year old and moving just 2 months ago I am so unorganized its not even funny! Oh well, life goes on! I have a beautiful baby girl that I would way rather snuggle and a little boy who I'd rather play with then organize papers, and do housework for anyways :D

Ice cream was always my stress reliever and I would enjoy a bowl every night before bed...healthy right... ha! Well I know I must love my little girl more than anything in this world cuz I have had to give up ice cream for her (insert teardrops here!) When she was 4 weeks old she went through 3 nights of puking, and I am talking like buckets of vomit, to the point where I would pick her up from her bassinet and the puke would be dripping off of her (gross I know!) Well going back to when she was born she has always been a little jaundice so between the jaundice and vomiting spells I was told by the health nurses to take her in to get seen asap...we met with a pediatrician and though talking with them they concluded that she has an intolerance to dairy and that I would have to cut it from my diet since it was being passed to her through my breast milk. So this means no cheese, sour cream, milk, creamer, yogurt, and ICE CREAM! aaahhh! Meal planning has been hard to try and go around making things that don't include those ingredients, so needless to say we have kinda been starving around here!

But the good news it seems to be helping her! She hasn't had anymore vomiting spells like she was having since cutting out dairy and she is now 7 weeks old today!
Her jaundice is even clearing up, so no more trips to the hospital for blood work to check her billirubin levels!! ya ya! The poor little girl had her blood taken 6 times before she was 6 weeks old! She was a total champ for most of them too, 3 times she slept right through it, 2 times she had little whimpers then fell asleep but that last time broke my heart, she screamed and cried the whole time, thank goodness it was the last!

This past week she has been so much more alert and is starting to hold her head up really well. She even rolled over today for the first time...I know it was just a freak one outta the blue cuz she is too little to be doing that, but I put her on her belly to grab her clothes and she rolled 1/2 way then I went to grab her and she kick herself the rest of the way over! It was crazy and I know she wouldn't do it again for another few weeks, but I guess this was technically still her first time! I forgot how much I love little babies and watching them grow! They are such blessings!

As for Haylen he started Playschool this week!! Can you believe it, my little boy is big enough for school....ya me either! Tuesday was his first day and he loved it! He has been beyond excited all summer to go to school. It was adorable when we took him to buy his backpack, lunch box, new shoes and school supplies, he was SO excited! and guess what I didn't even cry dropping him off! YA me! Although I have to admit I did shed a few tears when I got his school supplies list in my email. ha ha! So on Tuesday I took him and we went right in and loved the place, I said 'okay Haylen Mommy's going to go now, can I have a hug" he hugged me and said goodbye and then I decided to hang around for just a little while longer to make sure he was okay and he says to me "okay mommy you can go now" ha ha little bugger.
Well today he actually didn't want me to leave when I was going, I tried to sneak way but he caught me and said 'please you stay" but the teacher came and took his hand and took him to the water table and he was just fine! 

He is going 2 days a week, for just 2 hours and its great for all of us! He gets to make new friends, play with new toys and learn new things, while I get a quite house and enjoy some one on one time with little Farah!

-Loving life with my beautiful princess and little monster-

 

 

 

Sickiepoo

I finally have a happy healthy normal baby boy again!! yaya!
Over the past week and 1/2 Haylen has been SO sick. My poor little guy was such a champ through it all though. He has never really been sick before, which is amazing for a 2 and 1/2 year old, but the flu hit our house and hit him hard! First I got the flu and it lasted for about 4 days with me. On day 2 Haylen started feeling outta it and on day 3 we were both completely bed ridden and couldn't move. I am so proud of him and can't believe what a sweet little boy he has become. He had a fever of 104 that lasted for 6 days. As long as he stayed drugged up on Tylenol he was able to stay awake for short times and his fever would go down to 101-102ish, but as soon as the 4 hours were up and he needed another dose of Tylenol his fever would spike back up to 104. On day two of his fever he hit 105 and was started twitching out so I took him into emerge. We ended up both getting checked out since I had not felt baby move in over 24 hours and was worried about her since I hardly had eaten anything in 2 days. It was such a relief to hear her little heartbeat! We ended up spending about 6 hours there the first day, since Haylens fever was so high they wanted to wait for it to come down a bit until they sent us home. So they doped him up on Tylenol and Advil and we slept until we were able to go home. They said he wasn't having feveral seizures but involuntary muscle contractions because of the high fever. They were horrible to watch, and I pray I never have to see a child actually have a seizures, these twitches and shakes were bad enough. On day 6 his fever was still spiking up to 104 so I took him back to the hospital and that was the worst experience of my life. My poor little baby had to go for an xray, and of course being pregnant I couldn't go with him, but just had to watch through the glass. He just wanted him mommy so of course he just cried for me the whole time, but the nurse that was in with him was amazing. xrays were bad, but then came the toughest thing ever.....holding my baby down while they took blood out of his tiny little arm. What a nightmare that was to watch. I hope we never have to go through that again, I am way to much of an emotional train wreck to watch my baby in such pain. They also tried to get a urine sample out of him but that never happened. All tests came back fine and they ruled it out to just be a horrible flu and sent us home with some Advil. Finally the next day his fever broke for good and he was wanting to get up and play. What a great feeling it was to watch him play with his toys again!

One thing I will never forget through that week was how sweet of a little boy he his. Even with a fever of 104,and him feeling just miserable,  I would simply cough and he would say "you okay mommy?"
It made my heart melt every time. I just love that little guy.

Don't Move!

This is what happens when you move while daddy is cutting your hair.......

Two Year Olds

Everyone always says how rotten 2 year olds are and say the whole year is full of the 'terrible two's'  but I don't really get that. Maybe they have bad kids that are rotten all year but I love having a two year old. Don't get me wrong, my kid is not perfect, even I posted a few posts back about how Haylen has welcomed me into the two year old drama. He has his little temper and cries when he doesn't get his way, but overall the age of two is SO FUN! He says the funniest things, that make me wonder where the heck he gets this stuff from! He can express himself with what he wants or do not want , so the 'guessting game, and 'pointing to everything game' is now over. He understands emotions of happy and sad and loves to draw "happy mouths" on all his drawings. Today he was coloring and said 'circle' I looked down and sure enough he had drawn a circle. I couldn't believe it. I was so proud! My babies a smarty pants! Ha!
Haylen LOVES finding money and putting it in his piggy bank. He has bought two things already with his 'own money' and is SO proud that he got to buy it on his own. He says "Haylen bought, own money!" So excitedly. Its adorable. A few months ago he bought his first car! Well a car bed that is! I always wanted one of those when I was little, so I guess I get to live through him! They are like $400 new, so Ryan and I were going to get it for him  as his Christmas gift, but then I found one of the local Buy, Sell site on FB for $75.00 I was so excited, and so was Haylen!
Last week Haylen bought his 2nd major purchase, and it was a helicopter. It was adorable, he put the money from his piggy bank into his pocket and went to the store with his dad to buy a remote control helicopter. Ryan said everyone thought it was so cute when Haylen pulled out his own money from his pocket at the till and handed it to the cashier! That's right folks, my son is adorable!
 

Randomness

During the Day I always think, "oh I have to blog about that so I remember it," But when I actually get to my computer once Haylen is in bed and go to blog my mind is blank! So this will be a very random post

It's Been SO nice out for February, today was Plus 10! Yup Plus 10 in Feb! I'm loving it.
We went out to ride Haylen's "motorbike" (as he calls it, which is really just his peddless bike) and it was so fun. But that kid is fearless! He was so mad at me because I wouldn't let him ride it down a big steep hill, ha ha. He forgets he's only 2 and that he really is not indestructible like Buzz Lightyear.

Eating sucks lately. I don't want anything but cereal.

Thank heavens for Ritz Crackers! I pretty much have lived off of those for 3 straight months. Healthy I know.

Haylen new favourite thing to do is take screws outta things. One day he got a screwdriver and took the screws outta the railing on my stairs, and the baby gate. I didn't really think would be able to do anything productive with it, but he fooled him.
He also loves to 'fix' his 'motorbike'

Today I am 15 Weeks and have gained 10 lbs! Go Baby Go!

Haylen LOVES stickers! He got this huge 300 piece sticker book for Christmas and we spend alot of time working on that! It actually is pretty fun, but I have some major OCD when it comes to putting the stickers on right, so sometimes Haylen just gives the stickers to me to put on cuz he knows once he puts them on I am just going to move them into the  perfect alignment. I try to let it go sometimes, but then when he is in another room I get the book out and fix them anyways.....yes I need help!

American Idol started again! Ya ya! Love that show! Actually I love Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez

I am addicted to "Words With Friends" on my phone

Here's A picture of my little stud!

Haylen LOVES giving Kalla and Thor hugs and kisses. Thor is even warming up to Haylen and sometimes he will go sit beside him and ask for pets. Haylen also loves covering Kalla up with Blankets if he thinks so is cold. 

The End.