Paco is no longer allowed....
I fight impulses every day, some of them subtle, some less so. I just have to tell myself not to do it... anymore. Who knew working in a callcenter would have so many rules?
No Paco, you cannot scream "I hope baboons rape your dog tonight" to the customer.
No Paco, you cannot hang up on the customer and claim God told you to, again.
No Paco, you cannot eat all your caffeine pills at once, hump the monitor like a greyhound in heat, and scream that you are Rikki Lee Travolta's left sideburn come to murder us all with the stabbity 70s hair pain to the callcenter.
No Paco, a proper phone greeting is not "Arr, heave to and prepare to be boarded, ye scurvy phone dogs."
No Paco, you cannot refer to the trouble ticket number as 'booty'. Trust me Paco, you do not want to ask them for booty, they may give it to you.
Two eyepatches do not double the sexy.
Multiple peg limbs do not equate to more sexy.
No Paco, you cannot accuse the tech of bringing you bad juju when your test refuses to run just like his did.
No Paco, you cannot demand a sacrificial anything for your answers.
No Paco, proper responses to the phrase "Hey, I saw you at X place yesterday" from your coworkers do not include:
"I didn't know anyone saw me. Now I'll have to kill you too."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"If the FBI asks and you know what's good for you, you'll forget that little tidbit."
"Okay Blue! Now that we've got two clues, what are we gonna find!?"
"Tweet tweet tweet TWEEEEEEEEE Tweet tweet tweeeeeeeet."
No Paco, "I find your lack of faith disturbing" is not a valid reason to hang up on the tech.
No Paco, when your supervisor comes over and picks something up off your desk, you're not allowed to try to bite him.
No Paco, you're not allowed to declare a Jihad on the MetroPCS section of the callcenter.
No Paco, when the facilities supervisor answers your question of "Can we paint the ceiling tiles individual colors?" with "Good luck reaching them." you're not allowed to prove that you can.
No Paco, you cannot scream "I hope baboons rape your dog tonight" to the customer.
No Paco, you cannot hang up on the customer and claim God told you to, again.
No Paco, you cannot eat all your caffeine pills at once, hump the monitor like a greyhound in heat, and scream that you are Rikki Lee Travolta's left sideburn come to murder us all with the stabbity 70s hair pain to the callcenter.
No Paco, a proper phone greeting is not "Arr, heave to and prepare to be boarded, ye scurvy phone dogs."
No Paco, you cannot refer to the trouble ticket number as 'booty'. Trust me Paco, you do not want to ask them for booty, they may give it to you.
Two eyepatches do not double the sexy.
Multiple peg limbs do not equate to more sexy.
No Paco, you cannot accuse the tech of bringing you bad juju when your test refuses to run just like his did.
No Paco, you cannot demand a sacrificial anything for your answers.
No Paco, proper responses to the phrase "Hey, I saw you at X place yesterday" from your coworkers do not include:
"I didn't know anyone saw me. Now I'll have to kill you too."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"If the FBI asks and you know what's good for you, you'll forget that little tidbit."
"Okay Blue! Now that we've got two clues, what are we gonna find!?"
"Tweet tweet tweet TWEEEEEEEEE Tweet tweet tweeeeeeeet."
No Paco, "I find your lack of faith disturbing" is not a valid reason to hang up on the tech.
No Paco, when your supervisor comes over and picks something up off your desk, you're not allowed to try to bite him.
No Paco, you're not allowed to declare a Jihad on the MetroPCS section of the callcenter.
No Paco, when the facilities supervisor answers your question of "Can we paint the ceiling tiles individual colors?" with "Good luck reaching them." you're not allowed to prove that you can.
