This so annoyed me.
I won't be able to sleep unless I get this out of my system. It was the most annoying phone call I have ever taken before. I'm sure many of you have had worse, but this was probably the worst for me.
Intro: client with incredibly thick Indian accent with too much machine noise in the background.
Me: Thank you for the calling the $help desk, this is Lord, can I please have your $ID?
Him: What was your name?
M: Lord.
H: Lloyd?
M: Yes. Can I please have your ID?
H: What ID?
M: The ID you log into our systems with.
H: What?
M: The ID you log into our systems with.
H: What?
M: THE ID YOU LOG INTO OUR SYSTEMS WITH!
H: ***********
M: Sir, your ID only has six characters in it, and it does not contain any vowels.
H: (repeats exactly same thing to me-- after almost ten minutes of trying to understand him and get his ID, I finally figured it out. And not to be an ass, but I was really confused when I saw what an American name he had-- think something like John Smith)
M: What can I help you with?
H: I am trying to get into this computer and it says It is locked.
M: Have you tried control+alt+delete and put in your user name and password?
H: Yes, but it keeps telling me it is locked.
M: Then you haven't tried control+alt+delete, have you?
H: I'm trying to log in to this computer out here on the dock.
M: I've gathered this.
H: And this is what my manager gave me to log on with for the first time.
M: Is your manager there?
H: No, she went to lunch. I've never logged onto these computers before.
M: (Notes to self: find manager, send email bomb) I see. Usually the password they have for you at first does not work. I can change your password for you and that will most likely let you log in.
H: What password?
M: (Are you for real????) The password that goes in the second line of the log on box.
H: I do not have a log on box, it just says that the computer is locked. I keep typing my ID in the top box and my password in the second box, but it says it is locked.
M: (Well, which is it? Locked or not locked?????? And why are you contradicting yourself??? I gave up, I'll just change his password and then try to figure out what exactly he is looking at.... and hopefully his manager will be back by then). Okay, I'm going to change your password and hopefully that will help.
H: Help what?
M: HELP YOU LOG IN.
.............
M: Can I please have the last four of your social?
H: My social what?
M: Security number. (For fuck's sake...)
H: ****
M: Hold on a moment... okay, your new password is *******, please try to log i--
H: What was your name again?
M: Lauren
H: What is your last name?
M: I don't give out my last name.
H: Why not? I not get you in trouble. (No shit, I haven't done anything except put up with your fargin' ass)
M: We just do not give out our last names, there is no reason for you to know it. Now will you please try to log in with the password I just gave you so we can see if it works--
H: Why you not give me your last name? What if I want to complain? (HUH?) Is it a hard name?
M: Sir, I am not going to sit here and argue with you about you knowing my last name. I am not telling you my last name. Are you going to try to log in or not?
H: But I gave you my social security number!
M: You gave me the last four of your social, and what do you think I am going to do with that?
H: But I---
M: Sir, I have a government security clearance, even if I had your full social security number, there is nothing I would do with it.
H: So you are not going to give me your last name, Lauren?
M: No, I certainly am not, "Doug". Now are you going to try to log into that system or not?
H: Thank you, I'll see if I can get in.
*click*
WTFF? FYYFF!
I really wanted to go on break after that, but call volume would not allow me to do so. Twenty minutes later, my phone rings.
"This is so and so from such and such desk (that has absolutely nothing to do with our systems) and I have a lu$er here that cannot log in to the $portal."
"No problem, ticket number please."
"********"
"Just a moment while I pull that up please."
"He has a really thick accent and he is hard to understand."
OMG. Not this dumbA$$ AGAIN!
"I just dealt with this guy, and now he has called you? Where did he ever get your phone number from? He should not even have access to that information! I really do not wish to deal with him again.... (moments tick by....) fine, bring him on, we'll go round 2."
*start entire conversation over again... except this time I decided to play with him. I decided to use one of my best Redneck accents... oh ya, let's see how *he* likes it.
M: Helper desk, watkin I doofer ya?
H: What?
M: Whatsyer issue?
H: I just called over there and a person named Lenard changed my password to ******* and I still cannot log in....
So over the next two minutes, I gave him my worst, he didn't understand a single thing I said for the most part, and he finally asked--
"What was your name?"
"John."
"Thanks, John, I'll call back later."
*click*
That was just so wrong of me. Why? Because I should have spoken Ebonics, not Redneck.
And this guy works for our government. I'm skeered.
Intro: client with incredibly thick Indian accent with too much machine noise in the background.
Me: Thank you for the calling the $help desk, this is Lord, can I please have your $ID?
Him: What was your name?
M: Lord.
H: Lloyd?
M: Yes. Can I please have your ID?
H: What ID?
M: The ID you log into our systems with.
H: What?
M: The ID you log into our systems with.
H: What?
M: THE ID YOU LOG INTO OUR SYSTEMS WITH!
H: ***********
M: Sir, your ID only has six characters in it, and it does not contain any vowels.
H: (repeats exactly same thing to me-- after almost ten minutes of trying to understand him and get his ID, I finally figured it out. And not to be an ass, but I was really confused when I saw what an American name he had-- think something like John Smith)
M: What can I help you with?
H: I am trying to get into this computer and it says It is locked.
M: Have you tried control+alt+delete and put in your user name and password?
H: Yes, but it keeps telling me it is locked.
M: Then you haven't tried control+alt+delete, have you?
H: I'm trying to log in to this computer out here on the dock.
M: I've gathered this.
H: And this is what my manager gave me to log on with for the first time.
M: Is your manager there?
H: No, she went to lunch. I've never logged onto these computers before.
M: (Notes to self: find manager, send email bomb) I see. Usually the password they have for you at first does not work. I can change your password for you and that will most likely let you log in.
H: What password?
M: (Are you for real????) The password that goes in the second line of the log on box.
H: I do not have a log on box, it just says that the computer is locked. I keep typing my ID in the top box and my password in the second box, but it says it is locked.
M: (Well, which is it? Locked or not locked?????? And why are you contradicting yourself??? I gave up, I'll just change his password and then try to figure out what exactly he is looking at.... and hopefully his manager will be back by then). Okay, I'm going to change your password and hopefully that will help.
H: Help what?
M: HELP YOU LOG IN.
.............
M: Can I please have the last four of your social?
H: My social what?
M: Security number. (For fuck's sake...)
H: ****
M: Hold on a moment... okay, your new password is *******, please try to log i--
H: What was your name again?
M: Lauren
H: What is your last name?
M: I don't give out my last name.
H: Why not? I not get you in trouble. (No shit, I haven't done anything except put up with your fargin' ass)
M: We just do not give out our last names, there is no reason for you to know it. Now will you please try to log in with the password I just gave you so we can see if it works--
H: Why you not give me your last name? What if I want to complain? (HUH?) Is it a hard name?
M: Sir, I am not going to sit here and argue with you about you knowing my last name. I am not telling you my last name. Are you going to try to log in or not?
H: But I gave you my social security number!
M: You gave me the last four of your social, and what do you think I am going to do with that?
H: But I---
M: Sir, I have a government security clearance, even if I had your full social security number, there is nothing I would do with it.
H: So you are not going to give me your last name, Lauren?
M: No, I certainly am not, "Doug". Now are you going to try to log into that system or not?
H: Thank you, I'll see if I can get in.
*click*
WTFF? FYYFF!
I really wanted to go on break after that, but call volume would not allow me to do so. Twenty minutes later, my phone rings.
"This is so and so from such and such desk (that has absolutely nothing to do with our systems) and I have a lu$er here that cannot log in to the $portal."
"No problem, ticket number please."
"********"
"Just a moment while I pull that up please."
"He has a really thick accent and he is hard to understand."
OMG. Not this dumbA$$ AGAIN!
"I just dealt with this guy, and now he has called you? Where did he ever get your phone number from? He should not even have access to that information! I really do not wish to deal with him again.... (moments tick by....) fine, bring him on, we'll go round 2."
*start entire conversation over again... except this time I decided to play with him. I decided to use one of my best Redneck accents... oh ya, let's see how *he* likes it.
M: Helper desk, watkin I doofer ya?
H: What?
M: Whatsyer issue?
H: I just called over there and a person named Lenard changed my password to ******* and I still cannot log in....
So over the next two minutes, I gave him my worst, he didn't understand a single thing I said for the most part, and he finally asked--
"What was your name?"
"John."
"Thanks, John, I'll call back later."
*click*
That was just so wrong of me. Why? Because I should have spoken Ebonics, not Redneck.
And this guy works for our government. I'm skeered.
