You know you're in for a long, stressful call when the first words out of a client's mouth are:
"Is there something wrong with the internet?"
Well, there's lots of things wrong with the internet. Does she want a dissertation on the inherent inadequacies of DNS as currently implemented? A heated rant on why MTU should be double or more what the current default MTU standard is? A scathing diatribe about the sort of eye-searing content that leads to such phenomena as Google seppuku?* Pointed comparisons of IPSec over TCP to IPSec over UDP?
I was tempted beyond words to say, "Yes. Yes, there is. It's down. All of it. You won't be able to connect to any websites until sometime late Thursday night."
But no, instead I embarked on a good long troubleshooting call. Finally the issue was resolved down to where it was apparent that she's got a good connection from her laptop to her modem, but that her modem is not getting out to the ISP's servers. So I tell her that she'll need to contact her ISP for further troubleshooting. This is, of course, not what she wants to hear. She wants to hear that there's a simple checkbox somewhere that somehow managed to come unchecked and she'll be back up in seconds. So she starts arguing with me.
"Well, isn't there anything you can do?"
"No, I'm afraid not."
It all goes back to what every one of us here feels in our heart. You're calling us because we know more than you. Since we know more than you, then you need to listen to what we're telling you. Arguing isn't going to fix your computer. Being a shrill insipid bitch isn't going to fix your computer. Screaming at me incoherently isn't going to fix your computer. Just listen to us, since that's why you're calling us in the FIRST place.
Fortunately, I've discovered a great tactic to cut off arguments that my clients seem completely unable to get around.
"No, I'm afraid I can't do that for you. Is there anything else that I can help you with tonight?"
"Uh.... but... well, no." *muttering under breath and then CLICK and dialtone*
* I blame the furries.
"Is there something wrong with the internet?"
Well, there's lots of things wrong with the internet. Does she want a dissertation on the inherent inadequacies of DNS as currently implemented? A heated rant on why MTU should be double or more what the current default MTU standard is? A scathing diatribe about the sort of eye-searing content that leads to such phenomena as Google seppuku?* Pointed comparisons of IPSec over TCP to IPSec over UDP?
I was tempted beyond words to say, "Yes. Yes, there is. It's down. All of it. You won't be able to connect to any websites until sometime late Thursday night."
But no, instead I embarked on a good long troubleshooting call. Finally the issue was resolved down to where it was apparent that she's got a good connection from her laptop to her modem, but that her modem is not getting out to the ISP's servers. So I tell her that she'll need to contact her ISP for further troubleshooting. This is, of course, not what she wants to hear. She wants to hear that there's a simple checkbox somewhere that somehow managed to come unchecked and she'll be back up in seconds. So she starts arguing with me.
"Well, isn't there anything you can do?"
"No, I'm afraid not."
It all goes back to what every one of us here feels in our heart. You're calling us because we know more than you. Since we know more than you, then you need to listen to what we're telling you. Arguing isn't going to fix your computer. Being a shrill insipid bitch isn't going to fix your computer. Screaming at me incoherently isn't going to fix your computer. Just listen to us, since that's why you're calling us in the FIRST place.
Fortunately, I've discovered a great tactic to cut off arguments that my clients seem completely unable to get around.
"No, I'm afraid I can't do that for you. Is there anything else that I can help you with tonight?"
"Uh.... but... well, no." *muttering under breath and then CLICK and dialtone*
* I blame the furries.
