IPIP-NEO Narrative Report 2010

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This report compares Teflonman from the country Singapore to other adult men. (The name used in this report is either a nickname chosen by the person taking the test, or, if a valid nickname was not chosen, a random nickname generated by the program.)

This report estimates the individual's level on each of the five broad personality domains of the Five-Factor Model. The description of each one of the five broad domains is followed by a more detailed description of personality according to the six subdomains that comprise each domain.

A note on terminology. Personality traits describe, relative to other people, the frequency or intensity of a person's feelings, thoughts, or behaviors. Possession of a trait is therefore a matter of degree. We might describe two individuals as extraverts, but still see one as more extraverted than the other. This report uses expressions such as "extravert" or "high in extraversion" to describe someone who is likely to be seen by others as relatively extraverted. The computer program that generates this report classifies you as low, average, or high in a trait according to whether your score is approximately in the lowest 30%, middle 40%, or highest 30% of scores obtained by people of your sex and roughly your age. Your numerical scores are reported and graphed as percentile estimates. For example, a score of "60" means that your level on that trait is estimated to be higher than 60% of persons of your sex and age.

Please keep in mind that "low," "average," and "high" scores on a personality test are neither absolutely good nor bad. A particular level on any trait will probably be neutral or irrelevant for a great many activites, be helpful for accomplishing some things, and detrimental for accomplishing other things. As with any personality inventory, scores and descriptions can only approximate an individual's actual personality. High and low score descriptions are usually accurate, but average scores close to the low or high boundaries might misclassify you as only average. On each set of six subdomain scales it is somewhat uncommon but certainly possible to score high in some of the subdomains and low in the others. In such cases more attention should be paid to the subdomain scores than to the broad domain score. Questions about the accuracy of your results are best resolved by showing your report to people who know you well.

John A. Johnson wrote descriptions of the five domains and thirty subdomains. These descriptions are based on an extensive reading of the scientific literature on personality measurement. Although Dr. Johnson would like to be acknowledged as the author of these materials if they are reproduced, he has placed them in the public domain.

Extraversion

Extraversion is marked by pronounced engagement with the external world. Extraverts enjoy being with people, are full of energy, and often experience positive emotions. They tend to be enthusiastic, action-oriented, individuals who are likely to say "Yes!" or "Let's go!" to opportunities for excitement. In groups they like to talk, assert themselves, and draw attention to themselves.

Introverts lack the exuberance, energy, and activity levels of extraverts. They tend to be quiet, low-key, deliberate, and disengaged from the social world. Their lack of social involvement should not be interpreted as shyness or depression; the introvert simply needs less stimulation than an extravert and prefers to be alone. The independence and reserve of the introvert is sometimes mistaken as unfriendliness or arrogance. In reality, an introvert who scores high on the agreeableness dimension will not seek others out but will be quite pleasant when approached.

EXTRAVERSION...............96

..Friendliness.............62

..Gregariousness...........87

..Assertiveness............92

..Activity Level...........97

..Excitement-Seeking.......99

..Cheerfulness.............72

Your score on Extraversion is high, indicating you are sociable, outgoing, energetic, and lively. You prefer to be around people much of the time.

Extraversion Facets

Friendliness. Friendly people genuinely like other people and openly demonstrate positive feelings toward others. They make friends quickly and it is easy for them to form close, intimate relationships. Low scorers on Friendliness are not necessarily cold and hostile, but they do not reach out to others and are perceived as distant and reserved. Your level of friendliness is average.

Gregariousness. Gregarious people find the company of others pleasantly stimulating and rewarding. They enjoy the excitement of crowds. Low scorers tend to feel overwhelmed by, and therefore actively avoid, large crowds. They do not necessarily dislike being with people sometimes, but their need for privacy and time to themselves is much greater than for individuals who score high on this scale. Your level of gregariousness is high.

Assertiveness. High scorers Assertiveness like to speak out, take charge, and direct the activities of others. They tend to be leaders in groups. Low scorers tend not to talk much and let others control the activities of groups. Your level of assertiveness is high.

Activity Level. Active individuals lead fast-paced, busy lives. They move about quickly, energetically, and vigorously, and they are involved in many activities. People who score low on this scale follow a slower and more leisurely, relaxed pace. Your activity level is high.

Excitement-Seeking. High scorers on this scale are easily bored without high levels of stimulation. They love bright lights and hustle and bustle. They are likely to take risks and seek thrills. Low scorers are overwhelmed by noise and commotion and are adverse to thrill-seeking. Your level of excitement-seeking is high.

Cheerfulness. This scale measures positive mood and feelings, not negative emotions (which are a part of the Neuroticism domain). Persons who score high on this scale typically experience a range of positive feelings, including happiness, enthusiasm, optimism, and joy. Low scorers are not as prone to such energetic, high spirits. Your level of positive emotions is high.

Agreeableness

Agreeableness reflects individual differences in concern with cooperation and social harmony. Agreeable individuals value getting along with others. They are therefore considerate, friendly, generous, helpful, and willing to compromise their interests with others'. Agreeable people also have an optimistic view of human nature. They believe people are basically honest, decent, and trustworthy.

Disagreeable individuals place self-interest above getting along with others. They are generally unconcerned with others' well-being, and therefore are unlikely to extend themselves for other people. Sometimes their skepticism about others' motives causes them to be suspicious, unfriendly, and uncooperative.

Agreeableness is obviously advantageous for attaining and maintaining popularity. Agreeable people are better liked than disagreeable people. On the other hand, agreeableness is not useful in situations that require tough or absolute objective decisions. Disagreeable people can make excellent scientists, critics, or soldiers.

AGREEABLENESS..............10

..Trust....................29

..Morality.................48

..Altruism.................35

..Cooperation..............0

..Modesty..................52

..Sympathy.................0

Your score on Agreeableness is low, indicating less concern with others' needs Than with your own. People see you as tough, critical, and uncompromising.

Agreeableness Facets

Trust. A person with high trust assumes that most people are fair, honest, and have good intentions. Persons low in trust see others as selfish, devious, and potentially dangerous. Your level of trust is low.

Morality. High scorers on this scale see no need for pretense or manipulation when dealing with others and are therefore candid, frank, and sincere. Low scorers believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary. People find it relatively easy to relate to the straightforward high-scorers on this scale. They generally find it more difficult to relate to the unstraightforward low-scorers on this scale. It should be made clear that low scorers are not unprincipled or immoral; they are simply more guarded and less willing to openly reveal the whole truth. Your level of morality is average.

Altruism. Altruistic people find helping other people genuinely rewarding. Consequently, they are generally willing to assist those who are in need. Altruistic people find that doing things for others is a form of self-fulfillment rather than self-sacrifice. Low scorers on this scale do not particularly like helping those in need. Requests for help feel like an imposition rather than an opportunity for self-fulfillment. Your level of altruism is average.

Cooperation. Individuals who score high on this scale dislike confrontations. They are perfectly willing to compromise or to deny their own needs in order to get along with others. Those who score low on this scale are more likely to intimidate others to get their way. Your level of compliance is low.

Modesty. High scorers on this scale do not like to claim that they are better than other people. In some cases this attitude may derive from low self-confidence or self-esteem. Nonetheless, some people with high self-esteem find immodesty unseemly. Those who are willing to describe themselves as superior tend to be seen as disagreeably arrogant by other people. Your level of modesty is average.

Sympathy. People who score high on this scale are tenderhearted and compassionate. They feel the pain of others vicariously and are easily moved to pity. Low scorers are not affected strongly by human suffering. They pride themselves on making objective judgments based on reason. They are more concerned with truth and impartial justice than with mercy. Your level of tender-mindedness is low.

Conscientiousness

Conscientiousness concerns the way in which we control, regulate, and direct our impulses. Impulses are not inherently bad; occasionally time constraints require a snap decision, and acting on our first impulse can be an effective response. Also, in times of play rather than work, acting spontaneously and impulsively can be fun. Impulsive individuals can be seen by others as colorful, fun-to-be-with, and zany.

Nonetheless, acting on impulse can lead to trouble in a number of ways. Some impulses are antisocial. Uncontrolled antisocial acts not only harm other members of society, but also can result in retribution toward the perpetrator of such impulsive acts. Another problem with impulsive acts is that they often produce immediate rewards but undesirable, long-term consequences. Examples include excessive socializing that leads to being fired from one's job, hurling an insult that causes the breakup of an important relationship, or using pleasure-inducing drugs that eventually destroy one's health.

Impulsive behavior, even when not seriously destructive, diminishes a person's effectiveness in significant ways. Acting impulsively disallows contemplating alternative courses of action, some of which would have been wiser than the impulsive choice. Impulsivity also sidetracks people during projects that require organized sequences of steps or stages. Accomplishments of an impulsive person are therefore small, scattered, and inconsistent.

A hallmark of intelligence, what potentially separates human beings from earlier life forms, is the ability to think about future consequences before acting on an impulse. Intelligent activity involves contemplation of long-range goals, organizing and planning routes to these goals, and persisting toward one's goals in the face of short-lived impulses to the contrary. The idea that intelligence involves impulse control is nicely captured by the term prudence, an alternative label for the Conscientiousness domain. Prudent means both wise and cautious. Persons who score high on the Conscientiousness scale are, in fact, perceived by others as intelligent.

The benefits of high conscientiousness are obvious. Conscientious individuals avoid trouble and achieve high levels of success through purposeful planning and persistence. They are also positively regarded by others as intelligent and reliable. On the negative side, they can be compulsive perfectionists and workaholics. Furthermore, extremely conscientious individuals might be regarded as stuffy and boring. Unconscientious people may be criticized for their unreliability, lack of ambition, and failure to stay within the lines, but they will experience many short-lived pleasures and they will never be called stuffy.

CONSCIENTIOUSNESS..........71

..Self-Efficacy............98

..Orderliness..............1

..Dutifulness..............75

..Achievement-Striving.....97

..Self-Discipline..........99

..Cautiousness.............24

Your score on Conscientiousness is high. This means you set clear goals and pursue them with determination. People regard you as reliable and hard-working.

Conscientiousness Facets

Self-Efficacy. Self-Efficacy describes confidence in one's ability to accomplish things. High scorers believe they have the intelligence (common sense), drive, and self-control necessary for achieving success. Low scorers do not feel effective, and may have a sense that they are not in control of their lives. Your level of self-efficacy is high.

Orderliness. Persons with high scores on orderliness are well-organized. They like to live according to routines and schedules. They keep lists and make plans. Low scorers tend to be disorganized and scattered. Your level of orderliness is low.

Dutifulness. This scale reflects the strength of a person's sense of duty and obligation. Those who score high on this scale have a strong sense of moral obligation. Low scorers find contracts, rules, and regulations overly confining. They are likely to be seen as unreliable or even irresponsible. Your level of dutifulness is high.

Achievement-Striving. Individuals who score high on this scale strive hard to achieve excellence. Their drive to be recognized as successful keeps them on track toward their lofty goals. They often have a strong sense of direction in life, but extremely high scores may be too single-minded and obsessed with their work. Low scorers are content to get by with a minimal amount of work, and might be seen by others as lazy. Your level of achievement striving is high.

Self-Discipline. Self-discipline-what many people call will-power-refers to the ability to persist at difficult or unpleasant tasks until they are completed. People who possess high self-discipline are able to overcome reluctance to begin tasks and stay on track despite distractions. Those with low self-discipline procrastinate and show poor follow-through, often failing to complete tasks-even tasks they want very much to complete. Your level of self-discipline is high.

Cautiousness. Cautiousness describes the disposition to think through possibilities before acting. High scorers on the Cautiousness scale take their time when making decisions. Low scorers often say or do first thing that comes to mind without deliberating alternatives and the probable consequences of those alternatives. Your level of cautiousness is low.

Neuroticism

Freud originally used the term neurosis to describe a condition marked by mental distress, emotional suffering, and an inability to cope effectively with the normal demands of life. He suggested that everyone shows some signs of neurosis, but that we differ in our degree of suffering and our specific symptoms of distress. Today neuroticism refers to the tendency to experience negative feelings. Those who score high on Neuroticism may experience primarily one specific negative feeling such as anxiety, anger, or depression, but are likely to experience several of these emotions. People high in neuroticism are emotionally reactive. They respond emotionally to events that would not affect most people, and their reactions tend to be more intense than normal. They are more likely to interpret ordinary situations as threatening, and minor frustrations as hopelessly difficult. Their negative emotional reactions tend to persist for unusually long periods of time, which means they are often in a bad mood. These problems in emotional regulation can diminish a neurotic's ability to think clearly, make decisions, and cope effectively with stress.

At the other end of the scale, individuals who score low in neuroticism are less easily upset and are less emotionally reactive. They tend to be calm, emotionally stable, and free from persistent negative feelings. Freedom from negative feelings does not mean that low scorers experience a lot of positive feelings; frequency of positive emotions is a component of the Extraversion domain.

NEUROTICISM................16

..Anxiety..................18

..Anger....................34

..Depression...............9

..Self-Consciousness.......37

..Immoderation.............44

..Vulnerability............4

Your score on Neuroticism is low, indicating that you are exceptionally calm, composed and unflappable. You do not react with intense emotions, even to situations that most people would describe as stressful.

Neuroticism Facets

Anxiety. The "fight-or-flight" system of the brain of anxious individuals is too easily and too often engaged. Therefore, people who are high in anxiety often feel like something dangerous is about to happen. They may be afraid of specific situations or be just generally fearful. They feel tense, jittery, and nervous. Persons low in Anxiety are generally calm and fearless. Your level of anxiety is low.

Anger. Persons who score high in Anger feel enraged when things do not go their way. They are sensitive about being treated fairly and feel resentful and bitter when they feel they are being cheated. This scale measures the tendency to feel angry; whether or not the person expresses annoyance and hostility depends on the individual's level on Agreeableness. Low scorers do not get angry often or easily. Your level of anger is average.

Depression. This scale measures the tendency to feel sad, dejected, and discouraged. High scorers lack energy and have difficult initiating activities. Low scorers tend to be free from these depressive feelings. Your level of depression is low.

Self-Consciousness. Self-conscious individuals are sensitive about what others think of them. Their concern about rejection and ridicule cause them to feel shy and uncomfortable abound others. They are easily embarrassed and often feel ashamed. Their fears that others will criticize or make fun of them are exaggerated and unrealistic, but their awkwardness and discomfort may make these fears a self-fulfilling prophecy. Low scorers, in contrast, do not suffer from the mistaken impression that everyone is watching and judging them. They do not feel nervous in social situations. Your level or self-consciousness is average.

Immoderation. Immoderate individuals feel strong cravings and urges that they have have difficulty resisting. They tend to be oriented toward short-term pleasures and rewards rather than long- term consequences. Low scorers do not experience strong, irresistible cravings and consequently do not find themselves tempted to overindulge. Your level of immoderation is average.

Vulnerability. High scorers on Vulnerability experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress. Low scorers feel more poised, confident, and clear-thinking when stressed. Your level of vulnerability is low.

Openness to Experience

Openness to Experience describes a dimension of cognitive style that distinguishes imaginative, creative people from down-to-earth, conventional people. Open people are intellectually curious, appreciative of art, and sensitive to beauty. They tend to be, compared to closed people, more aware of their feelings. They tend to think and act in individualistic and nonconforming ways. Intellectuals typically score high on Openness to Experience; consequently, this factor has also been called Culture or Intellect. Nonetheless, Intellect is probably best regarded as one aspect of openness to experience. Scores on Openness to Experience are only modestly related to years of education and scores on standard intelligent tests.

Another characteristic of the open cognitive style is a facility for thinking in symbols and abstractions far removed from concrete experience. Depending on the individual's specific intellectual abilities, this symbolic cognition may take the form of mathematical, logical, or geometric thinking, artistic and metaphorical use of language, music composition or performance, or one of the many visual or performing arts. People with low scores on openness to experience tend to have narrow, common interests. They prefer the plain, straightforward, and obvious over the complex, ambiguous, and subtle. They may regard the arts and sciences with suspicion, regarding these endeavors as abstruse or of no practical use. Closed people prefer familiarity over novelty; they are conservative and resistant to change.

Openness is often presented as healthier or more mature by psychologists, who are often themselves open to experience. However, open and closed styles of thinking are useful in different environments. The intellectual style of the open person may serve a professor well, but research has shown that closed thinking is related to superior job performance in police work, sales, and a number of service occupations.

OPENNESS TO EXPERIENCE.....85

..Imagination..............87

..Artistic Interests.......86

..Emotionality.............37

..Adventurousness..........92

..Intellect................91

..Liberalism...............42

Your score on Openness to Experience is high, indicating you enjoy novelty, variety, and change. You are curious, imaginative, and creative.

Openness Facets

Imagination. To imaginative individuals, the real world is often too plain and ordinary. High scorers on this scale use fantasy as a way of creating a richer, more interesting world. Low scorers are on this scale are more oriented to facts than fantasy. Your level of imagination is high.

Artistic Interests. High scorers on this scale love beauty, both in art and in nature. They become easily involved and absorbed in artistic and natural events. They are not necessarily artistically trained nor talented, although many will be. The defining features of this scale are interest in, and appreciation of natural and artificial beauty. Low scorers lack aesthetic sensitivity and interest in the arts. Your level of artistic interests is high.

Emotionality. Persons high on Emotionality have good access to and awareness of their own feelings. Low scorers are less aware of their feelings and tend not to express their emotions openly. Your level of emotionality is average.

Adventurousness. High scorers on adventurousness are eager to try new activities, travel to foreign lands, and experience different things. They find familiarity and routine boring, and will take a new route home just because it is different. Low scorers tend to feel uncomfortable with change and prefer familiar routines. Your level of adventurousness is high.

Intellect. Intellect and artistic interests are the two most important, central aspects of openness to experience. High scorers on Intellect love to play with ideas. They are open-minded to new and unusual ideas, and like to debate intellectual issues. They enjoy riddles, puzzles, and brain teasers. Low scorers on Intellect prefer dealing with either people or things rather than ideas. They regard intellectual exercises as a waste of time. Intellect should not be equated with intelligence. Intellect is an intellectual style, not an intellectual ability, although high scorers on Intellect score slightly higher than low-Intellect individuals on standardized intelligence tests. Your level of intellect is high.

Liberalism. Psychological liberalism refers to a readiness to challenge authority, convention, and traditional values. In its most extreme form, psychological liberalism can even represent outright hostility toward rules, sympathy for law-breakers, and love of ambiguity, chaos, and disorder. Psychological conservatives prefer the security and stability brought by conformity to tradition. Psychological liberalism and conservatism are not identical to political affiliation, but certainly incline individuals toward certain political parties. Your level of liberalism is average.


http://www.personal.psu.edu/faculty/j/5/j5j/IPIP/ipipneo300.htm

Twisted

"I'll tell him I'm pregnant," Dee thought. "That'll teach him to screw around with me without taking any precautions."

It was April Fools' and Dee thought it would be a great joke to play on Didi as she imagined the shocked look on his face before she'll let on that it's just a joke.

Dee and Didi have been going steady for a while. The two of them were close to each other after they met at Jane's party where Jane unceremoniously dumped Joe after they had celebrated Jane's birthday. That would be another story.

Dee and Didi hit it off right at the start. Before they left, they arranged to meet the next day for the first date. Before they started their first date, they arranged to have some intimacy soon. Before the first date run out, Dee and Didi were buck naked and in each other's arms.

The rest, they say, is history.

"Eh, Jerk!" Dee shouted across the crowded staff canteen as she spotted Didi. He ambled over nonchalantly. People in their workplace are used to the loud Dee and the quiet and meek Didi.

"Quiet and meek? Yeah, right." Dee remembered thinking about this the first time she heard her colleagues describe Didi. "What wild abandon, what an absolute beast in bed." Dee imagined the wild gyrations and thrusts of their hips and groins as they sexually devoured them for the past few months. It had been the most enjoyable period they had.

"What's up?" Didi asked, as he sat down at the table.

"I'm pregnant."

Pregnant pause.

"I..." Didi left that hanging.

Dee glared at him as harshly and as menacingly as she could muster. Then she stood up and stormed towards Didi.

"What do you mean I..." Dee's voice was rising. She got up and tried to brow beat him into submission, as she had often done in the canteen. People there were so used to these occurrences that they have become accustomed to them.

Didi was at a loss what to do. He tried standing up and as he did, he moved a chair out and the chair went right into Didi's path.

Dee crashed into the chair and fell.

"What the heck!" Dee howled as she fell. "Can't take an April Fools' joke?"

Didi realised he's been had.

Blushing, he stood up.

"Dee, what's that?" Didi asked as he pointed as the expanding red spot at the groin region of Didi's factory operator blue uniform...

Amputee

Every time Dee is on the MRT train, she allows her eyes to drift around, hoping to find someone whom she might attract. After all, she is of marriageable age. As Shakespeare would have written, if he were that crude, women her age are grandmothers already.

Surely, 40 isn't that old. One would grant her that. But men have weirder tastes than she thought. Never one to give up, she went on the MRT today at City Hall and began letting her eyes drift.

Today, she seems to be in luck. The guy standing beside her kept stealing glances at her.

It was a rather short guy, slim build. The checked shirt he was in made him look a little odd. The red and blue checks did not suit him. He was fair and seemed to be swimming in his seemingly oversized shirt.

Dee was amazed as she looked at him, standing so close to her, at the middle of the train car. Though disappointed by her singular audience, she looked at him. He looked straight back, the eyes showing some form of visible discomfort.

Dee blinked at him and he blinked back. His face was a little less happy now. Dee thought she should smile at him. But perhaps not. It might make her seem a loose woman, smiling so easily at other men.

He, in contrast, was in immense discomfort. The train carriage was packed and he had been pushed right against Dee. And for some reason, her 3 inch heel plunged right into the front of his shoe without her realising and she is leaning her weight on the sole, since it is more elevated than the other one. By the poor guy's leg that is.

He tried to look down but thought against it. He did not want the woman to think he was some lascivious guy. But a few glances later, he could see the source of his discomfort - she had thunder thighs, column calves (that would put a Victorian column to shame) and her pudgy legs were stuffed in a pair of open front 3 inch sandals. Her feet were distorted to hold her weight and never sat squarely in the sole of the sandals.

And he realised she was hugging the vertical holding pole in the middle of the train car. She looked an incredible picture of brute strength and stability as her legs and her vice-like hugging of the pole afforded her a three point equilibrium.

As the train turned in the tracks, Dee moved her body to counter the various centrifugal and centripetal forces. She noticed that the man had beads of sweat on his forehead. The train was very packed and he was looking at her as though some part of him was going to burst through his worn fabric.

She felt adored. That's how a goddess should feel. Someone who looks up to her and sweats for her and makes her feel that she is all he has in his eyes.

He tried to wriggle his feet but the heel seemed to have crushed into some toes. He tried to smile at her but she seemed to look right through him.

"He's smiling at me." Dee felt exhilarated. Yet she told herself that as a lady, she should at least let him do it twice more before she should take fancy at him.

The next time their eyes locked at the next station, the man opened his mouth and Dee licked her lips to wet them. He felt he needed to say something but the train was still very packed and he didn't think he could move at all, even if she did.

In a moment of desperation, he felt he had to do it. The hell he had to do it. "Excuse me, Miss?" He ventured.

"Yes, can!" Dee answered as soon as he finished.

"Er..."

"What?"

"Can you...?"

"Yes, can. Can!" Dee was getting happier. She moved herself, shoving her bulk at the passengers around her as she turned to face the man.

In so doing, Dee moved her legs and the man said, "Thank you."

He looked down and saw blood oozing out of the hole at the front of his shoe.

IPIP-NEO Narrative Report

This report compares Teflonman from the country Singapore to other adult men. This report estimates the individual's level on each of the five broad personality domains of the Five-Factor Model. The description of each one of the five broad domains is followed by a more detailed description of personality according to the six subdomains that comprise each domain.

A note on terminology. Personality traits describe, relative to other people, the frequency or intensity of a person's feelings, thoughts, or behaviors. Possession of a trait is therefore a matter of degree. We might describe two individuals as extraverts, but still see one as more extraverted than the other. This report uses expressions such as "extravert" or "high in extraversion" to describe someone who is likely to be seen by others as relatively extraverted. The computer program that generates this report classifies you as low, average, or high in a trait according to whether your score is approximately in the lowest 30%, middle 40%, or highest 30% of scores obtained by people of your sex and roughly your age. Your numerical scores are reported and graphed as percentile estimates. For example, a score of "60" means that your level on that trait is estimated to be higher than 60% of persons of your sex and age.

Please keep in mind that "low," "average," and "high" scores on a personality test are neither absolutely good nor bad. A particular level on any trait will probably be neutral or irrelevant for a great many activites, be helpful for accomplishing some things, and detrimental for accomplishing other things. As with any personality inventory, scores and descriptions can only approximate an individual's actual personality. High and low score descriptions are usually accurate, but average scores close to the low or high boundaries might misclassify you as only average. On each set of six subdomain scales it is somewhat uncommon but certainly possible to score high in some of the subdomains and low in the others. In such cases more attention should be paid to the subdomain scores than to the broad domain score.

Questions about the accuracy of your results are best resolved by showing your report to people who know you well. John A. Johnson wrote descriptions of the five domains and thirty subdomains. These descriptions are based on an extensive reading of the scientific literature on personality measurement. Although Dr. Johnson would like to be acknowledged as the author of these materials if they are reproduced, he has placed them in the public domain.

Extraversion

Extraversion is marked by pronounced engagement with the external world. Extraverts enjoy being with people, are full of energy, and often experience positive emotions. They tend to be enthusiastic, action-oriented, individuals who are likely to say "Yes!" or "Let's go!" to opportunities for excitement. In groups they like to talk, assert themselves, and draw attention to themselves.

Introverts lack the exuberance, energy, and activity levels of extraverts. They tend to be quiet, low-key, deliberate, and disengaged from the social world. Their lack of social involvement should not be interpreted as shyness or depression; the introvert simply needs less stimulation than an extravert and prefers to be alone. The independence and reserve of the introvert is sometimes mistaken as unfriendliness or arrogance. In reality, an introvert who scores high on the agreeableness dimension will not seek others out but will be quite pleasant when approached.

EXTRAVERSION...............83
..Friendliness.............66
..Gregariousness...........39
..Assertiveness............65
..Activity Level...........95
..Excitement-Seeking.......91
..Cheerfulness.............85
Your score on Extraversion is high, indicating you are sociable, outgoing, energetic, and lively. You prefer to be around people much of the time.

Extraversion Facets

Friendliness. Friendly people genuinely like other people and openly demonstrate positive feelings toward others. They make friends quickly and it is easy for them to form close, intimate relationships. Low scorers on Friendliness are not necessarily cold and hostile, but they do not reach out to others and are perceived as distant and reserved. Your level of friendliness is average.

Gregariousness.
Gregarious people find the company of others pleasantly stimulating and rewarding. They enjoy the excitement of crowds. Low scorers tend to feel overwhelmed by, and therefore actively avoid, large crowds. They do not necessarily dislike being with people sometimes, but their need for privacy and time to themselves is much greater than for individuals who score high on this scale. Your level of gregariousness is average.

Assertiveness.
High scorers Assertiveness like to speak out, take charge, and direct the activities of others. They tend to be leaders in groups. Low scorers tend not to talk much and let others control the activities of groups. Your level of assertiveness is average.

Activity Level.
Active individuals lead fast-paced, busy lives. They move about quickly, energetically, and vigorously, and they are involved in many activities. People who score low on this scale follow a slower and more leisurely, relaxed pace. Your activity level is high.

Excitement-Seeking.
High scorers on this scale are easily bored without high levels of stimulation. They love bright lights and hustle and bustle. They are likely to take risks and seek thrills. Low scorers are overwhelmed by noise and commotion and are adverse to thrill-seeking. Your level of excitement-seeking is high.

Cheerfulness.
This scale measures positive mood and feelings, not negative emotions (which are a part of the Neuroticism domain). Persons who score high on this scale typically experience a range of positive feelings, including happiness, enthusiasm, optimism, and joy. Low scorers are not as prone to such energetic, high spirits. Your level of positive emotions is high.

Agreeableness

Agreeableness reflects individual differences in concern with cooperation and social harmony. Agreeable individuals value getting along with others. They are therefore considerate, friendly, generous, helpful, and willing to compromise their interests with others'. Agreeable people also have an optimistic view of human nature. They believe people are basically honest, decent, and trustworthy.

Disagreeable individuals place self-interest above getting along with others. They are generally unconcerned with others' well-being, and therefore are unlikely to extend themselves for other people. Sometimes their skepticism about others' motives causes them to be suspicious, unfriendly, and uncooperative.

Agreeableness is obviously advantageous for attaining and maintaining popularity. Agreeable people are better liked than disagreeable people. On the other hand, agreeableness is not useful in situations that require tough or absolute objective decisions. Disagreeable people can make excellent scientists, critics, or soldiers.

AGREEABLENESS..............19
..Trust....................24
..Morality.................27
..Altruism.................82
..Cooperation..............14
..Modesty..................37
..Sympathy.................3

Your score on Agreeableness is low, indicating less concern with others' needs than with your own. People see you as tough, critical, and uncompromising.

Agreeableness Facets

Trust.
A person with high trust assumes that most people are fair, honest, and have good intentions. Persons low in trust see others as selfish, devious, and potentially dangerous. Your level of trust is low.

Morality.
High scorers on this scale see no need for pretense or manipulation when dealing with others and are therefore candid, frank, and sincere. Low scorers believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary. People find it relatively easy to relate to the straightforward high-scorers on this scale. They generally find it more difficult to relate to the unstraightforward low-scorers on this scale. It should be made clear that low scorers are not unprincipled or immoral; they are simply more guarded and less willing to openly reveal the whole truth. Your level of morality is low.

Altruism.
Altruistic people find helping other people genuinely rewarding. Consequently, they are generally willing to assist those who are in need. Altruistic people find that doing things for others is a form of self-fulfillment rather than self-sacrifice. Low scorers on this scale do not particularly like helping those in need. Requests for help feel like an imposition rather than an opportunity for self-fulfillment. Your level of altruism is high.

Cooperation.
Individuals who score high on this scale dislike confrontations. They are perfectly willing to compromise or to deny their own needs in order to get along with others. Those who score low on this scale are more likely to intimidate others to get their way. Your level of compliance is low.

Modesty.
High scorers on this scale do not like to claim that they are better than other people. In some cases this attitude may derive from low self-confidence or self-esteem. Nonetheless, some people with high self-esteem find immodesty unseemly. Those who are willing to describe themselves as superior tend to be seen as disagreeably arrogant by other people. Your level of modesty is average.

Sympathy.
People who score high on this scale are tenderhearted and compassionate. They feel the pain of others vicariously and are easily moved to pity. Low scorers are not affected strongly by human suffering. They pride themselves on making objective judgments based on reason. They are more concerned with truth and impartial justice than with mercy. Your level of tender-mindedness is low.

Conscientiousness

Conscientiousness concerns the way in which we control, regulate, and direct our impulses. Impulses are not inherently bad; occasionally time constraints require a snap decision, and acting on our first impulse can be an effective response. Also, in times of play rather than work, acting spontaneously and impulsively can be fun. Impulsive individuals can be seen by others as colorful, fun-to-be-with, and zany.

Nonetheless, acting on impulse can lead to trouble in a number of ways. Some impulses are antisocial. Uncontrolled antisocial acts not only harm other members of society, but also can result in retribution toward the perpetrator of such impulsive acts. Another problem with impulsive acts is that they often produce immediate rewards but undesirable, long-term consequences. Examples include excessive socializing that leads to being fired from one's job, hurling an insult that causes the breakup of an important relationship, or using pleasure-inducing drugs that eventually destroy one's health.

Impulsive behavior, even when not seriously destructive, diminishes a person's effectiveness in significant ways. Acting impulsively disallows contemplating alternative courses of action, some of which would have been wiser than the impulsive choice. Impulsivity also sidetracks people during projects that require organized sequences of steps or stages. Accomplishments of an impulsive person are therefore small, scattered, and inconsistent.

A hallmark of intelligence, what potentially separates human beings from earlier life forms, is the ability to think about future consequences before acting on an impulse. Intelligent activity involves contemplation of long-range goals, organizing and planning routes to these goals, and persisting toward one's goals in the face of short-lived impulses to the contrary. The idea that intelligence involves impulse control is nicely captured by the term prudence, an alternative label for the Conscientiousness domain. Prudent means both wise and cautious. Persons who score high on the Conscientiousness scale are, in fact, perceived by others as intelligent.

The benefits of high conscientiousness are obvious. Conscientious individuals avoid trouble and achieve high levels of success through purposeful planning and persistence. They are also positively regarded by others as intelligent and reliable. On the negative side, they can be compulsive perfectionists and workaholics. Furthermore, extremely conscientious individuals might be regarded as stuffy and boring. Unconscientious people may be criticized for their unreliability, lack of ambition, and failure to stay within the lines, but they will experience many short-lived pleasures and they will never be called stuffy.

CONSCIENTIOUSNESS..........87
..Self-Efficacy............96
..Orderliness..............20
..Dutifulness..............80
..Achievement-Striving.....96
..Self-Discipline..........99
..Cautiousness.............52

Your score on Conscientiousness is high. This means you set clear goals and pursue them with determination. People regard you as reliable and hard-working.

Conscientiousness Facets

Self-Efficacy.
Self-Efficacy describes confidence in one's ability to accomplish things. High scorers believe they have the intelligence (common sense), drive, and self-control necessary for achieving success. Low scorers do not feel effective, and may have a sense that they are not in control of their lives. Your level of self-efficacy is high.

Orderliness.
Persons with high scores on orderliness are well-organized. They like to live according to routines and schedules. They keep lists and make plans. Low scorers tend to be disorganized and scattered. Your level of orderliness is low.

Dutifulness.
This scale reflects the strength of a person's sense of duty and obligation. Those who score high on this scale have a strong sense of moral obligation. Low scorers find contracts, rules, and regulations overly confining. They are likely to be seen as unreliable or even irresponsible. Your level of dutifulness is high.

Achievement-Striving.
Individuals who score high on this scale strive hard to achieve excellence. Their drive to be recognized as successful keeps them on track toward their lofty goals. They often have a strong sense of direction in life, but extremely high scores may be too single-minded and obsessed with their work. Low scorers are content to get by with a minimal amount of work, and might be seen by others as lazy. Your level of achievement striving is high.

Self-Discipline.
Self-discipline-what many people call will-power-refers to the ability to persist at difficult or unpleasant tasks until they are completed. People who possess high self-discipline are able to overcome reluctance to begin tasks and stay on track despite distractions. Those with low self-discipline procrastinate and show poor follow-through, often failing to complete tasks-even tasks they want very much to complete. Your level of self-discipline is high.

Cautiousness.
Cautiousness describes the disposition to think through possibilities before acting. High scorers on the Cautiousness scale take their time when making decisions. Low scorers often say or do first thing that comes to mind without deliberating alternatives and the probable consequences of those alternatives. Your level of cautiousness is average.

Neuroticism

Freud originally used the term neurosis to describe a condition marked by mental distress, emotional suffering, and an inability to cope effectively with the normal demands of life. He suggested that everyone shows some signs of neurosis, but that we differ in our degree of suffering and our specific symptoms of distress. Today neuroticism refers to the tendency to experience negative feelings. Those who score high on Neuroticism may experience primarily one specific negative feeling such as anxiety, anger, or depression, but are likely to experience several of these emotions. People high in neuroticism are emotionally reactive. They respond emotionally to events that would not affect most people, and their reactions tend to be more intense than normal. They are more likely to interpret ordinary situations as threatening, and minor frustrations as hopelessly difficult. Their negative emotional reactions tend to persist for unusually long periods of time, which means they are often in a bad mood. These problems in emotional regulation can diminish a neurotic's ability to think clearly, make decisions, and cope effectively with stress.

At the other end of the scale, individuals who score low in neuroticism are less easily upset and are less emotionally reactive. They tend to be calm, emotionally stable, and free from persistent negative feelings. Freedom from negative feelings does not mean that low scorers experience a lot of positive feelings; frequency of positive emotions is a component of the Extraversion domain.

NEUROTICISM................34
..Anxiety..................47
..Anger....................53
..Depression...............20
..Self-Consciousness.......60
..Immoderation.............49
..Vulnerability............6

Your score on Neuroticism is average, indicating that your level of emotional reactivity is typical of the general population. Stressful and frustrating situations are somewhat upsetting to you, but you are generally able to get over these feelings and cope with these situations.

Neuroticism Facets

Anxiety.
The "fight-or-flight" system of the brain of anxious individuals is too easily and too often engaged. Therefore, people who are high in anxiety often feel like something dangerous is about to happen. They may be afraid of specific situations or be just generally fearful. They feel tense, jittery, and nervous. Persons low in Anxiety are generally calm and fearless. Your level of anxiety is average.

Anger.
Persons who score high in Anger feel enraged when things do not go their way. They are sensitive about being treated fairly and feel resentful and bitter when they feel they are being cheated. This scale measures the tendency to feel angry; whether or not the person expresses annoyance and hostility depends on the individual's level on Agreeableness. Low scorers do not get angry often or easily. Your level of anger is average.

Depression.
This scale measures the tendency to feel sad, dejected, and discouraged. High scorers lack energy and have difficult initiating activities. Low scorers tend to be free from these depressive feelings. Your level of depression is low.

Self-Consciousness.
Self-conscious individuals are sensitive about what others think of them. Their concern about rejection and ridicule cause them to feel shy and uncomfortable abound others. They are easily embarrassed and often feel ashamed. Their fears that others will criticize or make fun of them are exaggerated and unrealistic, but their awkwardness and discomfort may make these fears a self-fulfilling prophecy. Low scorers, in contrast, do not suffer from the mistaken impression that everyone is watching and judging them. They do not feel nervous in social situations. Your level or self-consciousness is average.

Immoderation.
Immoderate individuals feel strong cravings and urges that they have have difficulty resisting. They tend to be oriented toward short-term pleasures and rewards rather than long- term consequences. Low scorers do not experience strong, irresistible cravings and consequently do not find themselves tempted to overindulge. Your level of immoderation is average.

Vulnerability.
High scorers on Vulnerability experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress. Low scorers feel more poised, confident, and clear-thinking when stressed. Your level of vulnerability is low.

Openness to Experience

Openness to Experience describes a dimension of cognitive style that distinguishes imaginative, creative people from down-to-earth, conventional people. Open people are intellectually curious, appreciative of art, and sensitive to beauty. They tend to be, compared to closed people, more aware of their feelings. They tend to think and act in individualistic and nonconforming ways. Intellectuals typically score high on Openness to Experience; consequently, this factor has also been called Culture or Intellect. Nonetheless, Intellect is probably best regarded as one aspect of openness to experience. Scores on Openness to Experience are only modestly related to years of education and scores on standard intelligent tests.

Another characteristic of the open cognitive style is a facility for thinking in symbols and abstractions far removed from concrete experience. Depending on the individual's specific intellectual abilities, this symbolic cognition may take the form of mathematical, logical, or geometric thinking, artistic and metaphorical use of language, music composition or performance, or one of the many visual or performing arts.

People with low scores on openness to experience tend to have narrow, common interests. They prefer the plain, straightforward, and obvious over the complex, ambiguous, and subtle. They may regard the arts and sciences with suspicion, regarding these endeavors as abstruse or of no practical use. Closed people prefer familiarity over novelty; they are conservative and resistant to change.

Openness is often presented as healthier or more mature by psychologists, who are often themselves open to experience. However, open and closed styles of thinking are useful in different environments. The intellectual style of the open person may serve a professor well, but research has shown that closed thinking is related to superior job performance in police work, sales, and a number of service occupations.

OPENNESS TO EXPERIENCE.....77
..Imagination..............70
..Artistic Interests.......89
..Emotionality.............73
..Adventurousness..........92
..Intellect................88
..Liberalism...............4

Your score on Openness to Experience is high, indicating you enjoy novelty, variety, and change. You are curious, imaginative, and creative.

Openness Facets

Imagination.
To imaginative individuals, the real world is often too plain and ordinary. High scorers on this scale use fantasy as a way of creating a richer, more interesting world. Low scorers are on this scale are more oriented to facts than fantasy. Your level of imagination is high.

Artistic Interests.
High scorers on this scale love beauty, both in art and in nature. They become easily involved and absorbed in artistic and natural events. They are not necessarily artistically trained nor talented, although many will be. The defining features of this scale are interest in, and appreciation of natural and artificial beauty. Low scorers lack aesthetic sensitivity and interest in the arts. Your level of artistic interests is high.

Emotionality.
Persons high on Emotionality have good access to and awareness of their own feelings. Low scorers are less aware of their feelings and tend not to express their emotions openly. Your level of emotionality is high.

Adventurousness.
High scorers on adventurousness are eager to try new activities, travel to foreign lands, and experience different things. They find familiarity and routine boring, and will take a new route home just because it is different. Low scorers tend to feel uncomfortable with change and prefer familiar routines. Your level of adventurousness is high.

Intellect.
Intellect and artistic interests are the two most important, central aspects of openness to experience. High scorers on Intellect love to play with ideas. They are open-minded to new and unusual ideas, and like to debate intellectual issues. They enjoy riddles, puzzles, and brain teasers. Low scorers on Intellect prefer dealing with either people or things rather than ideas. They regard intellectual exercises as a waste of time. Intellect should not be equated with intelligence. Intellect is an intellectual style, not an intellectual ability, although high scorers on Intellect score slightly higher than low-Intellect individuals on standardized intelligence tests. Your level of intellect is high.

Liberalism.
Psychological liberalism refers to a readiness to challenge authority, convention, and traditional values. In its most extreme form, psychological liberalism can even represent outright hostility toward rules, sympathy for law-breakers, and love of ambiguity, chaos, and disorder. Psychological conservatives prefer the security and stability brought by conformity to tradition. Psychological liberalism and conservatism are not identical to political affiliation, but certainly incline individuals toward certain political parties. Your level of liberalism is low.

http://www.personal.psu.edu/faculty/j/5/j5j/IPIP/ipipneo300.htm

Imolation

She was not called Maharanee Hairy for nothing. Her hair was long, dark, straight and flowed like a piece of black silk off her scalp, each hair well-moisturised from scalp to tip. She took immense pride when she walked past her naked maharajah each night and watched her hair caress his bollocks.

"Oh, my maharanee! Oooh..." her maharajah would coo.

The women in the markets were always admiring her hair in her face but calling her a slut at her back. Maharanee Hairy, they would call her. For the poor woman was, indeed, hairy more than just her hair. Nonetheless, she took pride in her looks. Her mama told her that she would be proud of what her parents had given her, never mind she had constantly got to pull off the occasional hair that has matured and thickened. You see, Maharanee Hairy was not different from an ape, except her hair, well, her hair is not as developed as an ape's.

Each day, Maharanee would coax copious amounts of jasmine scented coconut oil into her tresses and onto all the hair on her body. She was literally well-oiled, many a bug stuck on her hair and other parts of the exposed body when they bumped into her owing to errors in their flight plans.

She took pride in the way her hair was weighed down by the viscuous liquids, which accentuated the darkness of her tresses.

One day, a travelling artist came along and was completely mesmerised by Maharanee Hairy's hair when he spotted her shopping for her dhals in the morning market.

"Come," he said. "Come to me! I would love to paint your hair with my oils," he coaxed.

It was not as difficult as he had imagined. Before long, Maharanee sat naked in the stuffy art studio in the middle of the town. The used pieces of cloth used to wipe paint on and off the canvas lay all over the floor.

"Yes, raise your hands and hold your palm behind your head," the artist instructed. The bushy armpits were exposed, showing black fiery mounds of shiny hair, glistening with the mixture of sweat and jasmine scented coconut oil.

Maharanee Hairy had asked for a copy of whatever was drawn so she could place it in her bedroom, forever reminding her maharajah of her eternal beauty and slick hair.

The artist's progress was slower than expected. Maharanee Hairy got tired and lightly dozed off. She rested her head on a makeshift table that the artist had given to her so that she could rest her arms if necessary. Looking dissatisfied with his work, the artist walked out into the sultry afternoon heat and took a fag.

The cigarette smoke lingered in the air, the extreme heat of the day never allowed the hot exhaust to flow upwards and dissipate. Wiping the sweat off his brow, the artist decides to take a walk.

As he entered the neighbouring banana plantation, he sat under the shade of a rather large plant and lightly dozed off.

He next heard screams and looked up to see men and women carrying buckets of water running in the direction of his shack.

Joining them, he reached the flimsy wooden structure and saw thick smoke billowing out of the roof. It seems like there was a small fire raging somewhere... yes, that's where! It was near Maharanee's seat!

After the fire was put out, the people found a bald woman with burnt tufts of hair near her. It had been a flash fire. The well-oiled Maharanee Hairy spontaneously combusted.

The Door Follows

Dear Stupid Japanese Woman 1 and Stupid Japanese Woman 2,

Looking at how you were dressed today, I guess you have been living in Singapore for quite some time already. However, I also guess that despite the long time that you have spent in Singapore, some trauma of your childhood past may still cast forbidding shadows in your minds.

Stupid Japanese Woman 1, I really sympathise and emphathise with you. It must have been a really tramatic childhood. I am sure when you were young, the buses in your hometown must have had one longitudinal half of it disappearing for no apparent cause. I see you still adopt a safe bet standing manner of occupying both halves of the bus with a leg in each so that if one half of the bus falls off, you can still cling on to the other half.

Perhaps that's why you would not consider taking a seat in the empty seats around. Taking a seat means choosing a side of the bus. In case that part becomes a statistic in X-files, you'll be lost.

Don't worry Ma'am. Our buses go through stringest tests. But then again, you could still be scared because of some our buses are indeed Japanese products. I cannot blame you for being fearful because you see something familiar. However, I really wish to assure you that our buses pass the strictest of tests and their frames are strong enough not to disintegrate into halves.

Stupid Japanese Woman 2, you must have suffered a lot when you took buses. The way you cling to the door seems to suggest that you were ever trapped in a doorless cabin when you finally arrived at your destination. I don't know how it works in Japan or wherever you grew up but the doors on our buses follow wherever the bus goes.

Shuffling from the front part of the exit to the rear part of the exit does not mean much to the average passenger because you are blocking one end at any one time. Worse, you stand right in front of the door, blocking us entirely.

Perhaps that's why you would not consider taking a seat in the empty seats around. Taking a seat means leaving the security of being close to a door. In case the door disappears and the seating region becomes a black hole, you won't be able to get off.

Don't worry Ma'am. Our buses go through stringest tests. But then again, you could still be scared because of some our buses are indeed Japanese products. I cannot blame you for being fearful because you see something familiar. However, I really wish to assure you that our buses pass the strictest of tests and their doors are firmly attached to the rest of the bus. If all else fail, you may choose to exit by the window. I know it is an airconditioned bus but surely, the safety hammer could help.

To the both of you, I fear you may have come from the same town. You congregate at the door because there is safety in numbers. You speak to one another perhaps to take your minds off the fearful consequences in case the bus does really fall apart or it the door really disappears.

However, have both of you considered what would happen if the door really falls off and you two go to the destination that you don't want to be? Wouldn't that be terrible? SJ1, you did not tell your friend about the disappearing half-bus. What happens if the exit side disappear? She'll disappear with that part of the bus. Could you imagine how remorseful you would be?

I believe I speak for the remaining commuters for whom their inconvenience was your doing. Don't feel bad. We are not admonishing you. We just want to assure you that unlike the place(s) where you were from, our buses here are indeed safe. Very safe, in fact.

The Da Vinci Cod

Ever so wished I had a Da Vinci Cod, a slathering piece of hard, oily, fatty fish, to hit the living daylights out of the freaking caucasian prostitute (I think she is one) sitting in front of me during the Da Vinci Code.

She had to slam her Uranus-sized asses down the seat and, as the seat allowed partial reclining, the edge of the plastic seat back smacked right into my shins.

So what if she's a freaking ang moh? Any woman who cannot behave herself in public is actually no different from a loud-mouthed prostitute. At least if Pretty Woman was crude, she was, well, pretty. What is she?

Old like anything. So what if she is dragging a man and another woman, both caucasian? Threesomes are not uncommon in their culture.

Well, what would I do if I had a rock hard frozen hammer of cod? *Evil grin!* What do you think? Shouldn't the question be "What wouldN'T I do if I had a rock hard frozen hammer of cod?"

I'll probably not try to knock the living daylights out of the prostitute. Hey, it's the night duh! I was watching the Da Vinci Code, which started screening at 9.15 pm. So whacking her is out of the question.

I had a huge cup of Root Beer with me during the screening. I could have attempted to spill some on her. Well, accidents do happen, and it would also be nice if I could just pour the drink down her frizzly hair. But I thought better of using my $2.10 drink in such a low-grade manner, no matter I'm dealing with a low down life form. The drink had more dignity than that.

I was super duper tempted to kick the back of her seat and shake her bon-bons and boo-boobs a little. But I hadn't the leverage to do that. The chatty Indian couple snacking on chips did not make finding an additional toe hold any easier. So, lest I want to do a backward somersaut arising from the reaction from kicking of her 2 Uranuses, I'd better think of something else.

Halfway through the show, she rocked her seat and hit into my shin again. I really regretted eating up all the bread with the curried potato fillings. Perchance those would make interesting projectiles. Ah, it only dawned upon me that I should have opened a packet of my kaya bread and apply some of it on the buttered frizzy toast. Darn! Hindsight is 20-20, but hindsight is more often than not, too late.

Suddenly, she raised her hands and placed them behind the man and the other woman's shoulders. I should have found some way of bruising them, but then again, the difficulty of finding a place to launch an attack stopped me.

So, a Da Vinci cod would have helped. I'd be able to throw it at her as a spear or dump it on her seat before she sat down. The cold frozen mega-cigar might have made her jump up and as luck might have it, she may fall forward, down a row of seats and her dress might fall down.

I'll then pick up my Da Vinci cod. Don't imagine - I'll probably not try to shove it up her you know where. That's for sure. I doubt salmon and cod smell well when put together.