What am I, trying to be perfect?
I think so. Trying to augment my personality, and myself, I suppose. I think it comes from not feeling like I have alot to offer others. Being a boyscout, trying not to be a hypocrite, trying to be consistent, trying not to be jealous, trying not to care, trying not to be sketchy.
Sometimes I don't say things I want to, they might show that I have, at least a bit, some of the characteristics that I do not want to have.
Talk about not seeming real. I'm surprised I seem real at all. I guess some things slip through the filter.
"I don't feel at all like I thought." - A lyric from a Modest Mouse song. It's been stuck in my head all day, and now, it seems to apply a bit. I was thinking about seeming real earlier today, too.
I'm not sure if those actions are mine, or someone's who I want to be. I should let go, and feel how I feel, maybe. I think I would lose some people, I think, people I don't really want to lose. Maybe I wouldn't lose them at all.
I got told some of whats wrong with me, tonight. It felt good. When you're told in a nice enough tone, that you listen, and don't pass it off as anger, things stick, and not on the defensive level. Things stick at the level, where you actually notice, and your tough outer skin doesn't protect you, and instead, you're forced to listen, and pay attention, and realize, that yes, those things are wrong with me.
So, goodnight, again, for the 3rd time.
Sometimes I don't say things I want to, they might show that I have, at least a bit, some of the characteristics that I do not want to have.
Talk about not seeming real. I'm surprised I seem real at all. I guess some things slip through the filter.
"I don't feel at all like I thought." - A lyric from a Modest Mouse song. It's been stuck in my head all day, and now, it seems to apply a bit. I was thinking about seeming real earlier today, too.
I'm not sure if those actions are mine, or someone's who I want to be. I should let go, and feel how I feel, maybe. I think I would lose some people, I think, people I don't really want to lose. Maybe I wouldn't lose them at all.
I got told some of whats wrong with me, tonight. It felt good. When you're told in a nice enough tone, that you listen, and don't pass it off as anger, things stick, and not on the defensive level. Things stick at the level, where you actually notice, and your tough outer skin doesn't protect you, and instead, you're forced to listen, and pay attention, and realize, that yes, those things are wrong with me.
So, goodnight, again, for the 3rd time.
