So I was rambling in Evin's journal, and I had an idea...
Google Image Search Sandwhich!
So I decided to start off with some sourdough bread. This particular sourdough... uhh, satchel looked particularly delicious.
Next, We needed some mayonnaise, otherwise the bread is dry, and mayo generally makes everything mesh well and stick together. It doesn't taste like much. And it pretty much embodies the whole concept, if there was such a concept, (and you bet there is such a concept, infidel) of sandwich glue.
Now you might say "What the fuck is going on here Craig?". And you'd be right. "Thats not fucking mayonnaise, and you goddam know it." Is another phrase you might use. Well, the filename doesn't lie, and neither does the google image search So I'm inclined to broaden my definition of mayonnaise to encompass raising the dark load Satan himself by the use of various hand motions. Now everyone who is wearing a pink shirt, please relocate yourselves to inside the disembodied hands moving clockwise and we'll move on to our next ingredient...
Have you ever started trying to make a sandwich, and you totally forget what the hell you want on it? Or even why you are making a sandwich in the first place? Me neither...
Now, I'm a forward thinker, so when I came across the following ingredient to add to my previous delicious sandwich, I sure wished that I could also have my drink in the sandwich as well. It turns out I can. (Kill me now)
I think that is all I need to say about it.
Continuing with our innovative sandwich architecture, we here at our intensive research labs have created what we consider to be the cheese for the 21st century.
The cheese is reinforced with a sturdy metal frame, preventing it accidental mushings or deformations. The metal frame ensures that perfect cheese shape that you see on tv, but were never able to accomplish in your own home, until now! If you move your attention to the bottom of our patent pending natural swiss cheese flavoured (For clarity, that is natural swiss, which is cheese flavoured) product, you will see our years of nanotechnology research at work. Those round wheels, aren't only wheels, but they also serve to keep the cheese fresh, and free from any debris that might be on the surface upon which the cheese is placed! The self lit interior of the cheese ensures that even in a power outage, you will still be able to enjoy our delicious cheese.
I was going to put some lettuce on this triumph on construction. But honestly, go do a google image search on lettuce. Look at what you get back? It's lettuce! What kind of fucking useful image search is that? It's not! It's useless! How the hell am I supposed to make a sandwich when I can't even find one entertaining image of lettuce! I mean, all that you can find are pictures of lettuce, and cartoons! Seriously, I found all these borderline funny cartoons. Some of them don't even make any sense. Such as this one... It's even called "Borderline" I'm pretty sure I read the title, and then the cartoon insidiously manipulated itself into my brain to produce sentences where I use the word "borderline".
There, all that is left, is to eat the sandwich. Infact, I did a search for "eat the sandwich" and look what I found!
Google Image Search Sandwhich!
So I decided to start off with some sourdough bread. This particular sourdough... uhh, satchel looked particularly delicious.
Next, We needed some mayonnaise, otherwise the bread is dry, and mayo generally makes everything mesh well and stick together. It doesn't taste like much. And it pretty much embodies the whole concept, if there was such a concept, (and you bet there is such a concept, infidel) of sandwich glue.
Now you might say "What the fuck is going on here Craig?". And you'd be right. "Thats not fucking mayonnaise, and you goddam know it." Is another phrase you might use. Well, the filename doesn't lie, and neither does the google image search So I'm inclined to broaden my definition of mayonnaise to encompass raising the dark load Satan himself by the use of various hand motions. Now everyone who is wearing a pink shirt, please relocate yourselves to inside the disembodied hands moving clockwise and we'll move on to our next ingredient...
Have you ever started trying to make a sandwich, and you totally forget what the hell you want on it? Or even why you are making a sandwich in the first place? Me neither...
Now, I'm a forward thinker, so when I came across the following ingredient to add to my previous delicious sandwich, I sure wished that I could also have my drink in the sandwich as well. It turns out I can. (Kill me now)
I think that is all I need to say about it.
Continuing with our innovative sandwich architecture, we here at our intensive research labs have created what we consider to be the cheese for the 21st century.
The cheese is reinforced with a sturdy metal frame, preventing it accidental mushings or deformations. The metal frame ensures that perfect cheese shape that you see on tv, but were never able to accomplish in your own home, until now! If you move your attention to the bottom of our patent pending natural swiss cheese flavoured (For clarity, that is natural swiss, which is cheese flavoured) product, you will see our years of nanotechnology research at work. Those round wheels, aren't only wheels, but they also serve to keep the cheese fresh, and free from any debris that might be on the surface upon which the cheese is placed! The self lit interior of the cheese ensures that even in a power outage, you will still be able to enjoy our delicious cheese.
I was going to put some lettuce on this triumph on construction. But honestly, go do a google image search on lettuce. Look at what you get back? It's lettuce! What kind of fucking useful image search is that? It's not! It's useless! How the hell am I supposed to make a sandwich when I can't even find one entertaining image of lettuce! I mean, all that you can find are pictures of lettuce, and cartoons! Seriously, I found all these borderline funny cartoons. Some of them don't even make any sense. Such as this one... It's even called "Borderline" I'm pretty sure I read the title, and then the cartoon insidiously manipulated itself into my brain to produce sentences where I use the word "borderline".
There, all that is left, is to eat the sandwich. Infact, I did a search for "eat the sandwich" and look what I found!
