My friend Adam posted an article on facebook today- and since the title told about something I've been thinking about lately I decided to read it. After doing so I decided I really am an introvert- which is what I've already been thinking lately. I did however also decide that even though most people would probably think that's a weird thing- or bad- it's not. It's who I am- so I need to be true to myself- and my sanity- instead of trying to be/do like everyone else. If you'd like to read the whole article go
here.
These are the points that I found interesting-because with each myth I reflected on whether or not it applied to me... and mostly... they did.
Carl writes,
"here are a few common misconceptions about Introverts...
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
True. I don't know about very much. Especially facts. So if you're rattling off statistics or things that make you sound smart- I won't say much. I did awesome in school- but maybe not because I was super smart. Just because I was super good at school. I am interested in feelings and experiences. I'll talk about them forever.
Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.
Mmmm....I think I am shy... so maybe this point doesn't apply. But I am not afraid of people.
Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
SO TRUE. I hate fake people. I love being real and honest- at least about myself. I will tell you my flaws. Doesn't mean I'm insecure. I'm real. (and also a little insecure. lol.) I will be honest. I hate being in situations where I am stuck around fake people. As I've grown up I've really started to avoid fake people in my life. It's too hard to figure out who they're really playing for.... cuz they're switching teams and opinions and loyalties every 2 seconds. Probably the reason I never had tons of friends that were girls. I think it's easier for them to be fake- and for guys to be oblivious of it. But I saw their fakeness- so it drove me nuts.
Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.
I've always worried that I was dumb for never having that huge group of girl friends in high school. I had a few, very close, best friends- most of who were guys. I couldn't figure out what my problem was. Every time I had the chance to hang out in bigger groups of girls I reverted back to the ones I really knew that I could trust- because the shallow, backbiting friendships that I saw in the other groups didn't seem like "friendships" to me. And I'm still the same. I don't think I'll ever really be in the popular big crowd. BUT- that is because I choose to have a handful (or maybe 2 handfuls) of the most incredible, honest, real, GOOD, best friends I could ask for. And if I've decided you're one of my friends- I won't let you down. At least not consistently... or on purpose.
Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.
Yep, also perfectly describes me. I need a plan, and then I need to get home. I seriously am not a "go with the flow" kind of girl. I go, I see, I leave. And then I think about it.
Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
True. I love being with people- when I can really be me. But I also love being alone. I am perfectly capable of spending alot of time home alone with Ty. I love being "bored" because once I am- I start thinking of fun things to make or do to make our life better. I feel like if I fill my life with too many "busy" things to make my day fly by I miss the quiet opportunities that come when you start feeling like you have too much time.
Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.
I think I'm accidentally weird. If I could be cool and popular and trendy I would be- but I don't know how :) and I think if you're honest and real - true to the introvert- everyone will think you are a little bit weird. Because everyone IS a little bit weird- if you really know them.
Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
Sometimes I feel myself tuning out a conversation if I feel like it's stupid or the people talking are being stupid... maybe that's what this means. I am not as mean and stuck up as this sounds. But I don't like wasting my time on people who I don't feel have much depth. And by depth I don't mean knowledge... I mean... goodness. Like I really think people are easy to read. They are either talking to make themselves look better, smarter, whatever-er :) or they're being genuine. And- I could be TOTALLY wrong. I just like people who seem good. And who stay true to who they are.
Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.
I never did love huge group dates, or parties-unless they were with my close group of friends. One of my favorite things to do is people watch. I LOVE going to Lagoon just to find a bench and watch people. Creepy? I hope not :) I love watching the shows they have at Lagoon and watching the people after they get off the rides. But I also love a little adrenaline. Always with people I feel comfortable around though.
Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.
The only thing that this last myth means to me is that I'm okay if I need time at home- alone- or with only close friends and family. And if I've noticed I need way more of this alone/down time than the average person- all that means is that I'm just not the average. I hope it doesn't mean I'm rude or stuck up or a loner or that I don't want friends. I want friends. I just don't want to be with them every single second of every waking moment of my life. I want real, honest, good friends. And even with them I sometimes just need a recharge day- or ten... home alone. Ha. I am such a weirdo.
Take it or leave it :)
