On 22 April 2020, Twitter suspended my account, @RobertWest5, without giving a reason. I appealed, and I was given the opportunity to explain why I should not be suspended, even though they had provided nothing to argue against. I replied:
Hello! I don’t know what specifically my account was reported for, but I talk a lot about minor attraction and child sexual abuse prevention. I do not promote or glorify child sexual exploitation in any way, and I have reported any child sexual exploitation issues I have run into.
I mainly use my account to provide visibility to therapy and peer support available to paedophiles and other minor attracted people. I also use it for discourse with prevention professionals such as members of the Prostasia Foundation and Dr. James Cantor.
It is possible the “anti-MAP” community ran a campaign of mass reporting against me. If you could cite a specific instance where I violated the rules, that would be helpful!
These articles discuss why it’s important to have anti-contact minor attracted voices like mine on Twitter:
Twitter’s policy toward ‘pedophiles’ is key in crime prevention
Thank you for your time, and I hope you’re all staying safe out there.
Robert
Today, 08 May 2020, they replied to my appeal:
Hello,
Thanks for reaching out.
We weren’t able to confirm identity using the information you provided.
Please use the link below to upload a copy of a valid and legible government-issued ID, like a driver’s license or a passport. We need to be able to see your full name, date of birth, and photo. All the information you submit will be kept confidential.
Please upload your documents here.
Please note, submitting fake or forged documents could lead to permanent removal of the account.
After you’ve uploaded the ID, we’ll continue our review.
Thanks,
I believe there are good reasons to keep my accounts completely anonymous, going as far as to use a VPN and separate device for connecting as Robert West, a fictitious name I got from a random name generator website. They say they will keep my information confidential, but I don’t feel comfortable disclosing that to them.
I am a paedophile. I am exclusively attracted to prepubescent girls. I use my account to spread awareness, especially to people, mostly teens, just realising their attractions to much younger children. To let them know they’re not monsters, that they’re not ticking time bombs, that therapy and peer support are available.
While I do nothing illegal, disclosing that publicly could have repurcussions to my job, my housing situation, my personal safety, and the same for my family. With all the data leaks that happen, I cannot risk giving up that information to anyone.
So instead I will respond with something like this:
Dear Twitter Support Person:
As you can tell by looking at my (suspended) profile, I am a paedophile, which does not breach Twitter’s Terms of Service. I am exclusively attracted to prepubescent girls. I have used Twitter since 2011 as a platform to direct others like me to therapy and peer support, and to raise awareness.
For this, I have received threats and been encouraged to kill myself, often in graphic ways. Since I have no backup of my Twitter data, these are from a report email from 11 April:
Reported Tweet
@RobertWest5 @emet052 @TheCandyMAP You should only expect rejection and hatred. You people disgust me, “No contact” is just as bad as contact. You encourage this shit and wonder why people like me, who wanna see you all hung, exist. Reported Tweet
@No2BudewStan @Twitter Death to Pedophiles. Reported Tweet
@pepper2T No pedos shouldn’t kill themselves. We should kill them first. Reported Tweet
@nuisancejuice Let’s end it all and kill all pedos. Reported Tweet
@PropsMap No such thing as MAPS. You’re a pedophile and deserve only death. While I do nothing illegal, disclosing that publicly could have repercussions to my job, my housing situation, my personal safety, and the same for my family. Even though you say you will keep my information confidential, with all the data leaks that happen, I cannot risk giving up that information to anyone. Because once it’s out there, it’s out there forever.
I would like to know:
- Which rule did I violate, for which I was suspended?
- Why is providing my government-issued ID required?
- How my government-issued ID help with determining whether my account should be restored?
- Is there some alternate method that could be used to verify that I am, in fact, a human being? A phone call or video chat perhaps?
Thank you!
Robert West
Not my real name, but a real human voice
I haven’t sent it yet. What do you think?
Update: Here is a new idea, which is less confrontational:
Dear Twitter Support Person:
Regarding your request for a government-issued ID, it would be unsafe in my country to associate my account with my legal identity. I don’t breach Twitter’s terms of service. My account is focused on encouraging mental health for a minority community.
Thank you.
Robert West
Any input is welcome. Thanks!
Hello again! I haven’t posted here in a few years, but I thought this would be a good place for anime reviews and the like.
Three episodes are out as of this writing. I can’t imagine disliking it by the 12th episode, but stranger things have happened. So far, I highly recommend it.
Somali is a small human child in a world where humans are nearly extinct. Her character isn’t very developed yet, but she is very driven by her curiosity and easily distracted. She has obviously been through a lot, but takes joy in simple things. Like hugging furry animals.
The golem is a protector of the forest. He seems emotionless at first, but he seems to at least have something like emotions. He finds Somali and decides he needs to help her, to find her parents or at least other humans to take care of her. So they go off on a journey.
As someone with a strong protective instinct, this series really resonates with me. Also Somali is really cute. The places and creatures they meet are detailed and interesting and fun. The music is gentle and lovely. The word “wholesome” comes to mind. I hope you try it and like it too!
It’s streaming on Crunchyroll in North America, Central America, South America, Europe, Africa, Oceania, and the Middle East.
Here’s the opening.
Someone on Twitter recently claimed that non-contact paedophiles must “fantasize about raping children.” Because obviously if we fantasize about having sex, that is what we must be doing, right? No.
So I thought maybe I should talk a little in general, not in explicit detail, about my own fantasies.
As anyone who read my story probably realised, I fantasise about sentient androids who look like little girls. In addition, I sometimes fantasise about aliens who look like little girls, women who have voluntarily been altered using high technology to look like little girls, and vampires and other immortals who look like, you guessed it, little girls.
For a fantasy to turn me on, there has to be mutual consent and either equal power or a girl who likes to dominate. So really, it has to look nothing like current reality. Perhaps in the future some of those things might be possible. But for now they must remain fantasies.
But what if laws were changed, so adults could legally have sexual contact with children? I would not pursue sexual contact with children, and I would fight to change the laws back. Regardless of the law, sexual contact with children damages them, and the effects can be lifelong. Even if they could legally say “yes,” I would not count that as informed consent.
I hope this helps someone understand.
I recently came out to a friend. He said I have a long history of not hurting children. He also said it must be a constant struggle.
“Not really,” I said. And I thought about the misunderstandings that even supportive people have.
Imagine you have sexual attractions for certain adults. For some of you, this will be quite easy. Now imagine no one you are attracted to can consent to sex with you. Or imagine you somehow know that no one will every consent to sex with you. Even if you pay them.
Got the picture? So what would you do? Would you become a rapist? Would you decide not to rape anyone, but would it then be a constant struggle not to rape? Or would you come to terms with the fact that you would never be able to have consensual sex, and decide to pursue other things in life?
I am an anti-contact pedophile. I love kids, and I know it would be very bad for them to pursue sexual contact with them. So I don’t, and I never have. I don’t know how it is for everyone else, but I don’t find it to be a struggle at all.
I recently overheard a very cute conversation.
“Asparagus, asparagus, asparagus, asparagus…”
“Please stop singing about asparagus.”
A seven-year-old girl was singing about asparagus for a minute or two before her mother got annoyed. Such patience!
In other news, I have volunteered to help out with activities for children at an event. I will be helping another adult to keep several children entertained. I helped out informally last year so thought I would make it official. It should be fun!
Somewhere in my teens, I pulled out a large dictionary and looked up a word: Paedophile. I knew the pieces of the word. “Phile” means to like something, like in the word “philanthropy.” “Paedo” means child.
The dictionary simply said: “Child molester.”
For someone afraid they might have attractions for children, someone who has never heard of a positive role model who has those attractions but doesn’t act on them sexually or romantically, this definition did me no favors.
I have explained my attractions a few times over the years. I have been met with degrees of understanding and fear, and sometimes even acceptance. But until just this week, I have never described myself with that “P” word.
Now I will repeat it here: I am a paedophile. I have romantic feelings for children. I also have love and empathy for children. So I will not act on those feelings.
I have had rewarding friendships with several children, and I have not and will not let them go beyond friendship.
People who are closest to me know this about me and understand. I do not feel I can tell the world with my real name. Many would not understand. Many people cannot seem to listen in a rational way. Like me when I was younger, they have only heard of the adults who rape children. They have not heard of the many of us who never would, because we fear for our safety, the safety of our friends and families, our jobs, et cetera. And so we keep quiet about our thoughts, about the worlds inside our heads.
I am a non-contact paedophile. And I am afraid to tell you my real name. I want to work towards a world where people like me can freely admit that and get any help they might need to help keep children safe. Because repressing these feelings does not work. It only makes them worse.
This was quite eye-opening. I have guessed that there must be a lot of people with attractions to children who have never acted on them. But this confirmation is a big deal for me.
https://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/522/tarred-and-feathered
When I was about 20 years old, I fancied I might find a teenage girlfriend who looked young enough that I could fall in love with her and still love her as she got older. I was not even thinking it would be a sexual relationship, at least at first. I suppose it was something to hope for at the time, perhaps even plausible, but it seems a bit silly now.
Some teenagers retain enough cuteness. But seriously, attempting to line up my physical and emotional attractions for a long-term relationship that is mutually beneficial and nurturing is not realistic. I tried to envision what such a thing might look like, and wrote a story about an android who looks like a little girl. For I value emotional maturity and intelligence in relationships, and little faces with no makeup, where the eyes are halfway down her head or a bit lower. Look at where the eyes of adults and children are placed in their heads, and you will see what I mean. With wide, expressive eyes, and little or no emotional mask.
Lately I am mostly satisfied by a few videos a day, watching creative girls express themselves and act silly for the camera. Until I feel tightness in my chest from cuteness overload.
I would like to make some videos. I am researching voice-changing software, as well as text-reading software. I am trying to figure out if voice-changing can be undone. Text-reading software is possibly more secure, but it’s also less personal. I think appearing in silhouette form, speaking with an altered voice, would be fun.
I managed to get a Youtube account without tying it to my non-anonymous identity. It was not easy; it requires validation via a phone number to call or text. I recommend finding a payphone that still works and accepts incoming calls, using a friend’s number in another country, or purchasing a prepaid phone with cash.
If you are planning to start an anonymous blog, it is good to do some research in advance. It is also important to consider just how important it is that it remains anonymous.
What are the consequences if your blog is tied to your real identity? Some people are in danger of losing their jobs, homes, even their lives.
My blog deals with attractions for young girls. Not teenagers, but children. I have explained that it is not a sexual attraction, but in this day and age, many people would simply brand me as a “paedophile” and treat me the same as they would someone who harms children. I fear I would lose many friendships and my reputation, possibly my job, and there is the possibility someone might try to harm me or those close to me.
This sort of thinking is one of the reasons I started my blog: I wanted to let people know that there are those with attractions to children who would never hurt them, who want what is best for them. I also want others in my situation to know that they are not alone. If one follows the news, there is only one sort of person mentioned, who is attracted to children.
I have told a few close friends that this blog exists, but I have not told anyone where to find it.
Embracing a bit of healthy paranoia in my quest to remain anonymous, I focus on feelings and on a few situations without any specific people, places, or events. I sometimes wait a while after an event to write about it, and I occasionally change some details. I do not post from home, and I use a separate computer that I do not use for anything unrelated to my blog.
I use Tor Browser to make it more difficult to trace the blog back to me. Tor has limitations, but it is a good tool when used carefully. I also try to vary my vocabulary and phrasing. There is a method for text analysis that can “fingerprint” writing style to compare anonymous writing to other writing on the Internet. If you have written a lot under your legal name, and if it can be found online, you could perhaps be found out that way.
Even reading your anonymous blog from home is risky. I read that some blogs have been found by looking at the most frequent readers.
I also have not purchased a domain name, and I have not linked anything financially between my blog and my bank or credit cards.
I find it helpful to try to think about who might try to find out who I am. What resources might they possibly have access to? What sort of details would they look for?
Also if you post pictures or video, remember that a lot of seemingly small details can add up to a way to figure out who you are. Also such files include metadata such as the device used to take the pictures, names of photo editing software, and even GPS coordinates.
And remember, it is easier to relax your paranoia later on than it is to try to tighten things up later on. Once you have given away information, you have probably given it away permanently. Start as securely as you feel is appropriate, and perhaps a little more than that.
thecuteitburns 
