holy smokes october was my last post???

Holy Smokes I can't believe its been 9 months since I last posted...
Well here's a very quick recap..
We had a GREAT Thanksgiving with my Brother, Nephew, Parents and Grandma came over, Ben smoked a turkey we finally went and toured the Coke Factory we had so much fun..

Christmas at home then jetted off to CA to spend a week with Ben's Dad and Step Mother, we had such a lovely time we were also able to attend my Grandparents 60th wedding anniversary dinner and see lots of folks from my side of the family fun was had by all...

January-May was a whirlwind...Ben got a Job change, can't really call it a promotion BUT it has the possibility of bringing that but he's off the Ramp and a Supervisor for Cargo (still w/ southwest), its something he's wanted for a very long time (long before being here in ATL) and he is LOVING it! Hunter was doing wrestling, I was working and Brad and KayLea were busy doing their things too I don't really remember any significant "stuff" happening then so I guess we were good...

Although during that time I got laid off from my job except I got laid off before the end of the school year (all parapro's were in my school district with a last day of work being the last day of school) with an ability to apply for my Job back (or another if I chose to) thankfully at the last hour I was hired back for the fall so no worries and to top it off I got talked into doing Summer School which was just as well because Hunter is having to take Summer School and someone had to take him every day so we wouldn't have been able to go very far anyway... the other good news is my new positions has benefits YEA, which for me really means I get on the pay scale and I get sick and personal days (not that I take very many but still) Ben has pretty good health benefits so that was not a real concern but now i'll get regular merit/experience raises (as tiny as they are but still!) and I'll get paid over 12 months which will be a real help...

June Brad took off to my parents to help them with their remodel of their newest investment property he had a great time but knows for sure he has to go to college, manual labor was not for him.  After he got back a day later he and Ben were off to the Fox Boy's Camping trip to Lone Pine Ca.  they came back tired, dirty and excited for the next trip scheduled in 2 years...

So we are enjoying our summer although it seems as though it is slipping through our finger tips!!!
The kids keep getting older/bigger and I have to stop fighting the urge to put bricks on their heads!!!

Bradley;  I have a Senior ya all!! How did this happen??? so we are deep in the throws of figuring out timelines, applying to college and then deferments because his plan is to serve a mission before he goes to school, He turns 18 in June and hopes to be off soon after his birthday.. I've got 1 year left with him as a constant in our home and the reality is slapping me in the face!  He hopes to finish his Eagle Project in the next few weeks and then will be able to get his drivers license (yes I became one of THOSE moms!) He really is in such a GREAT place right now I have been telling anyone who will listen just when he is becoming FUN and a GREAT help to have around he's going to LEAVE!!! there is no justice!

Hunter is finishing up summer school he had to take 3 classes and he's finished all but 1 (Math is taught traditionally where English and Spanish are done online with a teacher present to give quizzes and tests etc) He passed the 2 he's finished with flying colors which begs the question what happened??? but we are moving up and on and really preparing to hopefully have a much more successful Sophomore Year.. he has to finish Summer School (and PASS everything) to get his permit but it looks as though that won't be an issue.. He has had to miss summer Football but natural consequences are what they are folks! but He'll start Football Camp a week or so after Summer School so hopefully he'll be able to slide right in (we shall see!) we are really hoping this was SOOOOOO annoying and awful that he NEVER has to go to Summer School again!

KayLea will be starting her LAST year in Elementary School, I don't really know how this happened either but she is turning into the coolest girl don't get me wrong we have our pre-pubescent moments where she cries for no apparent reason (and she even doesn't understand it at times.. which is kinda funny) but she has her own ideas of how things should be and her own fashion style etc.  Thankfully at least for now she still loves to cuddle and insists I put her to bed.. I may grown once in a while but for the most part I really like that she still wants me to do those things, I have to remind myself this won't last much longer!

So Ben and I are still chugging along so thankful for all of our blessings on my birthday next month we will celebrate the 23 anniversary of our first date... so hard to believe those two silly kids are still making it work and have created this beautiful life!!!

So I have a bunch of pictures to upload but I can't seem to get it to work and if I don't publish this NOW its not gonna happen! so promise pictures sometime in the next week or so... but if you just can't wait check out my facebook pic's there all pretty much on there anyway...

so 9 months wrapped up in one post who knew hopefully I won't wait that long to post again!!! we shall see!

my Thank-ti-mony

so what is a Thank-Ti-Mony you ask??? its a bit like a testimony only all about what i'm thankful for...

I needed to let Brad's recent diagnosis sit and simmer for a bit before I could really speak intelligently about it... I still can't say I am 100% comfortable OR even that i'm remotely "happy" about allot of it BUT what can't be denied is how thankful I am for oh so many things...

these are on no particular order

* I am thankful for a PA (physician assistant) who just at a glance decided something didn't "look right" at Brad's EKG during his treadmill stress test.  He told me he doesn't know why but even though the computer didn't detect any issue it just looked "off" to him and so he got out his trusty measuring device (he also showed it to me its a bit more involved than a ruler but basically that's what it was) and sure enough Brad's Q-T interval was slightly long.. he said he made himself measure several times but yep there it was.

* I am thankful for a pediatrician who just decided to be EXTRA cautious and send the boys for cardiac work ups "just to be safe" Football can be linked to this one too because were it not for us moving to the south where it is much hotter than NH and the Dr wanted to be extra careful clearing my boys for the riggers of Football camp etc.

* I am thankful for an AWESOME Aunt!, I re-live the moments when I first got the phone call about the PA's findings, I was in the waiting room of Ben's Oral Surgeon's office un-prepared to take notes and retain anything, I am thankful for my wonderful Aunt who is a MD who is our "go to" for any medical questions.. she had just come off an "all nighter" delivering a baby AND I in my mental fog didn't take into account her being on the WEST coast and ME in  EASTern time zone (thankfully she hadn't gone to sleep yet after the delivery because I think I called her at about 6am her time) she not only was able to walk me through what she knew about Long QT syndrome (she's not a cardiologist) she actually had some experience with a patient of her's that had it!!! she always calms me down I am so thankful for her!!!

*FAMILY needs to get another one my Parents and siblings have really come through it a big way emotionally for me.. My mom cried with me on the phone when we got the final diagnosis and I just can't tell you how much they all mean to me..

*FRIENDS!! I am so blessed! I am still finding my way here in GA but I have felt the out pouring of love, support and friendship from so many here PLUS the support of all of my friends from near and far, phone calls, Facebook messages and e-mails have filled my in-box's and have meant oh so much to me.. I am so blessed and thankful to have so many wonderful people in my life who love me and my family.

* BRAD... this is a last but not least... I  am so thankful for this boy!!! the one who made me a Mom... He had his very typical reaction to new news.. he was silent for about a day and a half.. then he came up with his own plan.. he has dealt with this with so much grace and dignity and I couldn't be prouder!!! we know he is destine for greatness.. (no pressure right??!!!)  we want him to be young and carefree and live with no worries, to be a great person responsible priesthood holder and all around great guy, but we want him to do all those things NOW with just enough caution to ya know, not die.. .. he's well on his way!!! .   does this make him perfect? no way, do we still deal with your standard teenage issues allot of the time, YES!!!  but I am just so proud of how he's handling this whole thing!!!

the long and the short of it is we are COMPLETELY grateful to know what we are facing (although we are still learning a ton so by no means do we know it all, maybe never will!) I try hard not to think of the "what if's" cuz there are lots.. he has pushed his body to its limits before, he's a kid who when he sets his mind to something specifically w/ sports he does it.. track, soccer, football etc. he never did anything half way so I am so grateful for what ever reason this heart issue didn't rear its ugly head.. not to mention the horrible car accident he was in w/ Ben and Hunter a year ago.. ya think his heart rate went up when they were rolling??? ya.. so I try hard not to go there (but obviously I just did!).. we are so blessed.. a good friend of mind said it would just be so not fair to loose 2 kids to heart issues... I completely agree BUT I know its out of my hands.. we can only do what we can do and the rest is just not up to us!!!
my last words are I am so thankful!!! and we are So BLESSED!!!
ta ta

When worst fears materialize

So we found out Wednesday Brad is positive for Long QT Syndrome..  He has to quit all competitive sports and we are being referred to a Long QT Clinic associated with the Children's Hospital..

To say that I was upset is an understatement.. I was SO SURE it was going to come back negative.. both Ben and My EKG came back negative the cardiologist even said he was leaning towards betting that it would be negative.. which is why when the Dr told me "he's positive"  I was stunned, and in shock and so I didn't ask some important questions.  I didn't ask which type (1,2 or3) I didn't ask if he can still take his allergy medication (so he's very stuffy poor kid).. and I didn't ask if we need to come up with an emergency plan for the school (something the Nurse suggested when I told her we were awaiting this diagnosis, I didn't pay allot of attention to her unfortunately way back at the pre-school get your schedule etc. etc. remember I was SURE it was negative)..

Here's what I know for sure... We will be good, this is going to be a new normal but we've been here before.. I think that's what is so hard is I have prayed these EXACT prayers before. I've been specific, and I still don't think my prayers were NOT answered they were just answered in a way that will force growth for me, for Ben and especially for Brad and of coarse even Hunter and KayLea.. I am a bit away from being able to see the good in this BUT already Brad has made some goals, he wants to take some BYU online coarse's so he can take a couple AP classes next year (BYU online High School coarse's are NOT recognized by the NCAA and because he always assumed he'd play some kind of college sport he was very resistant).. he's even talking about maybe dueling enrolling in college/high school next year (I have some mixed feelings about that but if he makes it happen through grades work etc. i'd have a hard time turning him down!)

We are still learning lots, YES we know there have been a handful of Olympic and professional athletes with this same condition but for now we are taking the dr's advice and not having Brad play (those are VERY isolated situations and it takes a school/organization to ALLOW to take on the liability/risk and that's just not gonna happen and to be honest i'm not sure WE would allow it its just not worth the risk!)

This will certainly change the direction of Brad's life somewhat.. Sports were never his end game anyway he wants to be an engineer and so he can devote lots more of his time to the Robotics club (he was only able to devote about half his time due to sports etc) so for that I am grateful BUT we will be discussing what he can do.. for Brad's own sanity I think he needs to be able to run, bikeride etc. he loves that kind of stuff and so that will definitely  be a discussion..

for me my goal is to try not to worry my self into a heart attack.. I am trying, I can not allow Brad to live in fear and so I need to set that example.. I am hoping once we see the specialist and learn more the fear will lesson.. looking into the future in 2 years he will be away from my control.. it already invokes allot of anxiety for me, and in just 3 yrs a mission (yes we've already speculated he probably will not be allowed to go foreign but actually Brad has always said he didn't want to cross any ocean so that's probably ok too..)

so i'm sure this is not the last post about this (damnit!) I am eternally grateful for the love, prayers, time to put our names on temple rolls and energy devoted to our little family and what we are going through.. I knew it already but I am so lucky!!! and THANKFUL... i'm working on a "what I am thankful for" post already in my head so stay tuned its a long list!
here's a brochure we found online that answers allot of questions...
http://www.heartrhythmcharity.org.uk/Documents/Booklets/Long%20QT%20Syndrome%20Booklet%20090113_wjh.pdf

ta ta for now...

I will blog more later but I needed to post these, a friend was wanting to see them and I have been slacking promise to do a real post soon...

the Fox's
LOVE this picture!!!

My Mom and Dad.. LOVE!!!

the original Lane's 

Grand Kids ALL of them!!!

the whole group.. it was such a fun trip!!!

Photo Credit goes to my brother Jody Lane!! if you need a great photographer he lives just outside of Salt Lake UT.. 

I haven't been under a rock.. at least not any more...

So, where have I been? after all the whoop-la going on with Brad's Dr's appt's and possible diagnosis I went to bed.. like not kidding litterly  decided I didn't feel good just about every day, needed a nap and ate allot of peanut butter snickers... 20 pounds later (no joke!) when I was being weighed for my cardiology appt I nearly lost my lunch at the number on the scale.. decided then and there I could not go on like this.. the good news Ben and I don't have Long QT syndrome (there are some technical issues here.. we MAY still be carriers for the gene etc. BUT neither of us have the prolonged QT in our EKG's)... that meant Brad could be cleared for Football while we WAIT (yes we still don't have any thing definite yet on his genetic testing).. I don't know why that for some reason was reassuring enough to get me to get out of my funk thankfully.. I haven't weighed myself since that visit (denial isn't just a river in Egypt) BUT have been making some efforts to be more active AND best of all I GOT A JOB!!! getting a job in this BIG school district was a bit more involved then meeting with the local very small administrators at my local elementary school... this is a VERY large school district with several high schools, middle schools and I couldn't even guess how many elementary schools (50+) with online applications and looking up new openings it became a part time job just managing all the job postings etc. BUT I got my break when I got an interview with the director of Autism programs for the district.. I actually didn't get the job I interviewed for with her BUT she really liked me, she kind of HAD (her word) to go with an applicant who was already part of the district but said she really wanted me in the district and gave me some great advice about where to apply and who to send e-mails to etc.. the end result was 2 job offers it was  HUGE ego boost to be in a position to choose, I got an offer for an Elementary School Para Professional (aid) to kids who were high functioning integrated in General Ed. classes and the 2nd was a  Middle School para professional position to a small self contained class with very low functioning (mostly non-verbal) kids with behavioral issues.. my choice was to go with a Middle School, the kids were going to be more of a challenge but that appealed to me for some reason, I have really grown to LOVE this community of kiddo's (I may be eating those words but I really don't think so)... plus middle school made it so I didn't have to put KayLea in before school day care.. i'm not opposed to that BUT i'm getting paid a bit less than what I was making before plus I don't have a contract (don't get me started.. school funding out here is a MESS [and we live in one of the top 5 school districts in the state!].. we thought it was bad with tiny local voted on school funding.. we had it GOOD) so every bit in my pocket will be good, and Ben will be home before KayLea gets home from school so I think it will all work out...

So we are still waiting on the Genetic Testing for Brad and we take KayLea in Friday to get her work up done, can't say i'm completely calm about that one, she and Brad (and Lane for that matter) are built pretty much identical so we'll see if that holds any water to any diagnosis...

so we are plugging along.. school starts next week, the boys are thick into Football and then life will REALLY get crazy...
We got to go to Yellowstone Nat. Park it was fun and we got to see all of my side of the family (my mom's side anyway) and all of my siblings (photo's to come soon) we also got to get a family picture done which I can't wait to see...its been an interesting summer for sure... but we are surviving and even thriving...
that's all for now...
ta ta

this is where you hear the theme to twilight zone in your head...

So I didn't get allot of sleep last night, too many things swirling in my head... this morning I got up early (7ish) and although should have gone to run/walk I didn't I decided I'd look through Ben's old photo albums and came across this...

its not that I didn't know those clippings were in there, I have seen them and even read them a dozen or more times.. they are the obituary and articles about William "Brad" Rusche

Brad and Ben at his Mission Open House 1993

Ben and Brad were on the Varsity Soccer Team together, Ben was Sweeper (right in front of the Goalie on the Defensive line) and Brad was just in front of him Stopper, I'm sure I've screwed up that mental image just know they had each other's back on and OFF the field... and that is why we named OUR Brad after him...

While Ben was on his mission in Wisconsin he got word that Brad had passed away suddenly from what they think was a heart attack.
he had to quit the Cal Poly Pomona soccer team due to a heart arrhythmia and some heart symptoms he was having.  (yes my cousins who went to Brea O Linda he is the one the monument is for on the stadium field)..
there is no way of knowing if what he had and died from is even remotely close to what OUR Brad is going through being diagnosed with but the similarities are a little spooky.. the thing we would be most worried of in our Brad's case is "Sudden Cardiac Death"...

another kind of spooky thing is we've always commented a bit on how much our Brad kind of looked like Brad Rusche, tall skinny with blonde hair, also Brad R was so fast I mean when he got going you didn't want to be in his way.. very much like our Brad.. like I said.. if I didn't know this to be completely true I would think I was reading a novel!!...

So there are my thoughts this morning as scattered as they may be... I have thought allot about finding Brad Rusche's parents, Ben's family didn't know them VERY well but of coarse they/we saw them and visited at every soccer game I had even been to their home a few times such nice people.. I've done a couple of Internet searches but have come up dry so far and even if I did find them what would I even say to them.. who knows.. we'll see where that goes...

am I the only one who is hearing the twilight zone music about now.???

knock, knock, knock.. is this thing on???!!! i'm guessing my previous message of "I"VE HAD ENOUGH" didn't go through!!!

so this is word for word (actually cut and pasted) from FB so if your seeing it in both places no need to continue you've ready read it...
beware VERY LONG!!!

http://www.sads.org/About-SADS/Long-QT-Syndrome

ok so EKG today confirmed the prolonged QT (link above has definition its very complicated and I still don't really understand it).. will have genetic testing orders done Monday (scheduling this may get tricky w/ insurance it is VERY expensive but cardiologist says insurance will pay it just may take jumping through some hoops which his office has done many times and know how to do it) to see if he has long QT Syndrome, there are 3 degrees (or levels) of long QT syndrome dr is fairly certain IF he's positive for syndrome he would have the most mild degree because he has NEVER had any symptoms, ie: chest pain, dizziness, seizures, shortness of breath etc. if he has the most mild he'll be on a beta blocker and watched fairly close but can still do sports IF he has the other 2 no sports and we talk about surgically implanting a defibrillator.. he also has to wear a cardiac monitor for 24 hours but since the boys have youth conference tonight dr said we can do it sunday-monday morning.

Ben and I have an appt w/ a Cardiologist on July 2nd to get evaluations, make Echo appts and get set up for genetic testing for US... 

they are looking at Hunter's EKG again to make sure they didn't miss this in his (like they did in Brad's first) and KayLea has an appt first week of August to check her out...

first I am so thankful for Medical doctors... I kept thinking today.. what if we had never known any of this and something awful had happened to him... this is un-diagnosed very regularly it is a hard thing to find and you don't find it unless your looking (ie: Brad is almost 16.. this week is his b'day.. and we have NEVER suspected a thing!) it is diagnosed ALLOT in autopsy's of sudden cardiac death's of young people.. (thanks google for informing me of this fact!) 

so for now we wait... he can still do football practice.. we had to be very careful about him NOT getting dehydrated and dr has said he needs to take it easy, no full force weight lifting no full force sprints and no long distance running (thankfully for Brad we didn't know any of this before his 50 mile hike!) I'm going to talk to his coach on Monday and he's been put on a very low dose beta blocker for the time being..

Ben is feeling some pain from his Oral Surgery today (yes I got all the info about Brad while in the waiting room of the Oral Surgeon's office today) it was an interesting ride home telling him about Brad while he was still loopy from the anesthesia, had to repeat myself several times and i'm still not sure he remembers it all although just a few minutes ago he said he think he's gotten the high notes of it all.. I had to leave him for about 2 hours to get Brad's EKG done which I wasn't planning so I raced home to him in allot of pain and out of gauze to pack his mouth so had to stop to get him more gauze.. but he's got pain meds on board (we had some confusion re taking vicidan every 4 or 8 hours.. its 4 thankgoodness!)

boys are at youth conference for the night and all day tomorrow the girl and I are going to go see Brave (as long as Ben is ok to leave on his own at home) and right now I really want to go to bed.. 

if feels a little like i've lived a month in just about 10hours.. again I have an amazing family who can give me the lift and support I need over the phone so I don't want to go run my car off the road!!! I am so lucky 
of coarse our saga is to be continued...

ok Lord, I've hit my limit!

So its been kind of a rough month or so, things are looking up on the teenage issues we are dealing with.. I'm seeing some light at the end of the tunnel on that front.. BUT we had a big cardiology appt last Friday that I nearly lost my lunch over..
let me go back... so Georgia requires kids to get a physical from a GA doc. before they enter school (or at least with in the first 30 days of enrolling).  We did this and thought it would be a good time to piggy back sports physicals for the boys since both would need them for Football in the Fall.  the Doc cleared the boys for school but said she would really feel more comfortable if the boys got a clean bill of Heart Health from a cardiologist since they had never been evaluated after Lane's HLHS (Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome) diagnosis etc.  I kind of thought it was a bit excessive BUT really felt fine about it because we are in the south and I have heard of instant cardiac death on the football field etc.. I honestly felt everything would turn out fine but agreed to the appt..
As the appt got closer I have to admit my anxiety level rose, on the day of the appt I had nervous stomach and was very antsy.. both boys got EKG's and Echo Cardiograms.. Hunter's blood pressure was slightly elevated but when they had him lay down it was fine (he tends to run high at dr's office and has had "white coat hypertension" in the past) anyway I was in the room for both Echo's and I do kind of remember thinking the heart beats sounded so different but pushed it to the back of my mind..
the Cardiologist come in (it was just 2 tech's that did the prelim tests etc) and said Hunter has a perfect heart but "we've got some issues with Brad's heart"... at that moment the blood started to drain out of my face and I kind of heard a ringing sound in my ears.. I was shocked and scared and wasn't prepared at all for what the dr said next..

He explained Brad has a Bicuspid Aortic Valve (see picture above).. and it does leak a bit (evidently that is pretty much the norm for a Bicuspid Aortic Valve) he explained that he will have no limitations ie: he can play all sports etc... he'll have to take a baby aspirin every morning for the rest of his life and take anti-biotics before seeing the dentist (even for cleanings) if he had seen Brad since a little guy he would be seen by him every 2yrs but since he's just seeing him now he will have a baseline exercise (treadmill) stress test done in a couple of weeks and see him in a year if nothing has changed then he can go to every 2 yrs etc.  so all in all if anything HAD to be wrong this is probably what we would want but still I think I aged 20 yrs just in that short office visit... he also said this IS RELATED to Lane's condition.. it is a "Left Heart Issue" and although no genetic link has been officially found the doc said you can not ignore these happened in 2 siblings (the other weird, we always felt Lane really favored Brad in the way he was built/looked as a baby etc).. so now we are going to get KayLea a Echo, she got checked out at around age 3 but only with an EKG and a Chest Xray and at age 3 it might not have had any issue on an EKG... (Brad's was found on the Echo)...
so thats what we've been up to.. I think i've had enough!!! what do you think??
ta ta

Happy Mothers Day

so after reading my last post and being all gushy mushy about my kiddo's and my Mom I failed to mention a few things
first: I have been blessed to have had an amazing Mother in-Law... I won't sugar coat it, our relationship wasn't always butterflies and roses (we both LOVE super hard and sometimes could but heads a bit) but I can not deny the fact that she made my amazing, wonderful, supportive husband.. she was so much fun.. there are ways she mothered her children that I WISH I could be like.. the fun part.. I need more Sheri in my mothering for sure.  I have another Mother in Law today, I don't know her well (that will change soon I'm sure) but I am thankful for her, Ben's Dad cared for his Mom for several years before she passed away and so to see him so happy again was good.. She is really coming through in a major way as of late with some of Ben's Dad's health issue (remember, not my story to tell) and we can't be more thankful for her love of him and her devotion.. what a 1st year of marriage for them!!!

which leads into my next issue I failed to mention before.. my HUSBAND.. I am blessed to have an amazingly supportive husband who puts up with my hormonal teary rants.. who knows when I need to get out of the house and then insists upon it.. He supports our family and works so hard.. I am thankful for him and how he leads our family...

I came upon this video in another blog and its what sparked my thoughts today
http://youtu.be/3LQ80TFOGvw

so thankful I have a Husband who is teaching my kids how to love their wives, future mother of their children!!!

what do you get?...

What do you get when your a mom w/ PMS, your angel Son's birthday and a major teenage pitfall happen all on the same day/ week???

TEARS!!! lots and lots and lots of tears...

oh also did I mention there are some health issues going on with BOTH of our fathers (don't ask, not my story to tell, they both will be fine but yea I think that has added to the stress of my week)

So thinking about what I would post for Lane's birthday, I didn't have allot of plans.. and that was probably a good thing because mentally I was toast.. so with the journal post's leading up to Lane's birthday that will just have to be it... I do have some post-funeral journal entries to post and I'll get around to it I just need to settle my head but to be honest I'm not in a huge hurry ...

I am not ready (probably never will be) to post about the teenage angst going on right now.. just know everyone is healthy, on the road to being happy and we will SURVIVE!!!  this much I know for sure..

Even though I'm feeling a bit mentally beat up right now it doesn't dismiss even a little  how thankful for my family, I wouldn't trade ANYTHING/ANYONE for the kiddo's I have... they drive me nuts, make me laugh harder than I've ever laughed, and cried more tears than I knew I could produce and LOVE more than I ever thought possible BUT we are muddling through together for better or worse for ever and eternity!! Being a mother has been the hardest job I have ever had (and that's saying something!) but one that gives me the most rewards money can not buy.  In times where its tougher than usual I try hard to imagine them older with their own families.. I want desperately for them to be able to say "I see now why you did that", or "thanks I hated you then, but boy did you save me from myself" or just "I always knew you loved me".. is it bad that I am wishing for some adoration??? mostly I just want them to be happy healthy adults who have very few mommy/daddy issues (and the ones they have {cuz lets face it can any of us escape?}don't hold them back ha!)
so Happy Mothers day everyone.. I know I've already told my Mom how smart she is.. she gets smarter and smarter every year I'm alive I am so lucky to have her in my life...
ta ta