MFR- The People

For the last month or so we have been planning a trip to St George to spend a long weekend with Bake's family. It was the first time was have all been together for almost two years. The grandkid total alone had almost doubled since then. Crazy. Our last day together we had some olympic games for all the kids. They loved it, and I hopped on the chance to get a picture of everyone there. I have plenty more events to blog about this weekend, but for now you can see all my peeps. It was seriously the best weekend ever. So blessed to have all these people in my life.

Too Much

I walked in the living room to find emmy sprawled across the back of the couch. I about lost it.

How in the world is she getting so old?

Lucky for me she couldn't peel her eyes from the TV to see me sneak away to grab my camera. It's very rare that this little lady doesn't turn on the cheese the second she gets the lens in her face. Boy oh boy can she turn on the cheese. Look at her solo there. lifted shoulders, weirdest smile, and an "I'm all that" attitude. It wasn't but a minute before she grabbed that ridiculous hat. Gotta love her.

Come the fall she is going to be in Kindergarten. Gone five days a week, 5 full days, without me. I have no idea what I am going to do. She is seriously an adult trapped in a little girls body. You know that relief you get as a stay at home mom when your husband gets home and you immediately feel like "yes. finally. some adult conversation!" yeah, I have that all day with her. This Emmers is wise beyond her years. An old soul. I sort of kinda feel like I am a little hard on her at times because of that. I constantly need to remind myself that she really is just 4.

I'm doing my best to soak in every minute I have with her before she no longer thinks I am cool. My days are numbered I am sure.

Baby B thinks sissy is pretty cool too.

life simplified. we are doing our best.

life is crazy. time is passing me by and i don't feel like i have a minute, a second even, to actually be in it. to enjoy it. to breathe in everything around me and count my blessings. i have a lot of them.



i forced myself to sit at my computer today and hull through images this morning. i opened up this folder from our thanksgiving trip up north and broke down into tears. these pictures are in no way perfect, but it is my family. them being them. i love my family. more then words could ever express. on a daily basis i am constantly fighting an inner battle of self doubt as to whether or not i am giving them enough. am i doing all i can to protect them, to love them, to provide for them, to encourage them, and to teach them. am i doing all i can so as to not screw them up. kids are like a parents best recipe. a little of this, a lot of that, and when you realize something isn't working you substitute it for something else.

baker recently was out golfing and when i checked in via text message he wrote back to tell me that he was playing awful and wasn't having fun. without blinking i replied "just do your best and make the most of it." i quickly realized i wasn't living my own advice. i spend a lot of time and energy battling my own self doubts. the bottom line.

i am doing my best.

some days my best is worse then the day before. on a good day, better. but for me right now, in this moment, i am doing my best. that is all i could ever ask from my kids. to give it their all and do their best. so for them i can do the same.

bbb- blessing baby blaire

a few days ago for one split second i forgot that i named my daughter blaire. i never call her that. baby b, missy, baby sis, lil sis, mini bit, best baby ever... those are the names i call her. blaire rarely comes out of my mouth.

i am completely in love. ridiculously in love even. b is the absolute sweetest thing on the planet. i don't know how i got so lucky.

this last sunday we finally blessed her at church. she is official. it was such a special day for her, and so great to be surrounded by family and friends. the day ALMOST went off without a hitch. my sweet perfect never cries baby blaire... cried through her entire blessing. what the what? it was sort of comical. didn't make a peep until daddy walked her to the front of the chapel, and quit soon after we walked her out. stinker butt.


can you even believe her in her little blessing dress? i feel a bit bad. i was so busy trying to finish getting my house together that i sort of forgot to find her a dress. in the back of my mind i knew in the very least she could wear the one emmy wore, though i didn't really want her to. i wanted her to have her own. so her girls could wear it... then when we were loading her drawers with her bigger clothes this little gem popped up. adorable. and though it was emmys, it wasn't emmys blessing dress. so now it was blaires.


as a gift one of my dear friends got her this mini pearl bracelet to wear during the blessing. i about died when i opened it. it was so tiny and delicate, and the absolute perfect touch. blaire rocked that tiny strand of fake pearls like you wouldn't believe. thanks party sue! we missed you.

i think i got a total of two pictures of the lunch party we had after. i'm kicking myself over it. so her and i had a 5 minute photo sesh just before the sun went down. she is pure perfection.




and what photoshoot of blaire wouldn't be complete without em jumping in on the fun.. that girl honestly loves her little sister more then she loves clothes and fashion.

baby b

in love. thats all.

blairy blaire from jenny morphy on Vimeo.

1 month

wow. is all i can say right now. how in the world are you already one month old? though it has probably been the longest month of my entire life, it has also gone by way too fast. in a way i feel like i am missing it all. i feel like one day i am going to blink and you are going to be 16.

luckily, for now, you are still only a month. big girl! i think you have done more in the last 4 weeks then i did my entire elementary school career. seriously. who goes in a hot air balloon at 6 days old? you, thats who. ps, your welcome.

you have seriously been a dream. as soon as we got home from our stay at hotel hoag, you immediately turned on the charm. sleeping from 10 to 5am, then again until 9! it's like your daddy's morning alarm. perfect for me.. i hated the sound of that buzzer that early in the morning. btw, when are we going to clue him in on how great it is to sleep in past then?

your big brother and sis are borderline obsessed. thank you for being so patient and understanding. i can't even tell you how many times a day i find you snuggled up with one of their favorite animals or toys. or how many times i pull that soothie paci out of your mouth because they insist on the fact that you need it even though you are fast asleep. they fight over who gets to get me your diaper and wipes, who gets to hold the other side of the carseat when we carry you out, and the biggest of all, who gets to sit in the back. thats the seat that actually gets to see your face in a backward facing carseat. your sister almost always wins. she is not one to back down. she loves you that much.


each night all four of us snuggle you. first it's you and me in emmy's bed. "GIRL TIME!" is what emmy yells, followed by you and daddy in dane's bed. ems likes to get in your face and introduce herself. always likes to remind you that she is your big sis. dane is much more tender, always ending the session with a kiss on your head. always. it amazes me just how much they love you. but it's not like it's hard.

you absolutely love with a capital L bath time. love it. from start to finish. from water to lotion to jammies. you love it. and i love the way you smell after it. that makes our lives a bit easier. thank you.

a few days ago i forced the family to get in the car and go for a walk at the beach. having you third hasn't given me the luxury of just pulling out the stroller and going. we have schedules, emmy fights about not having a seat and having to walk, dane doesn't want to sit. he just wants to run... in the opposite direction. i've felt guilty for not getting you out in the fresh open air like that. like i got to with your brother and sister. but we finally did, and you loved it. i promise when summer is over and the other kids are back in school we will do it more. promise. but that first family walk on the beach was perfect. i carried you in the bjorn and you went right to sleep. i was thinking it was your favorite spot until i found the peanut shell. you love that even more, and now i don't leave home without it.


you are seriously perfection. and i am seriously smitten.

pardon our absence

but we have been trying to get our beauty rest over here. hoping to return to the real world soon. oh how i have missed you all.

xoxo

5 days

crazy to think that in just 5 days i am going to have another little nugget in my arms. i love it.

as i was starting to think about packing for the hospital today i decided to clear all my memory cards for my cameras and threw in my SD card for the point and shoot and was amazed at what i found. pictures from all the way back when i was pregnant with emmy. no wonder i haven't blogged much this year. all my family memories were stuck on that card!

i did come across this gem of a video though. the day that emmy met dane in the hospital. it's seriously so precious. from memory i recall her being so excited and so loving to him. this video for sure tells a different story.

i seriously can not wait to see how mr d. reacts to his new sissy. that boy is in for it i tell you. his world is about to be turned upside down.

reality

emerson has been talking about her birthday for months already. months. she is constantly making decisions on what type of party it will be, who will attend, where it will be held, the list goes on. these things are ever evolving and changing as well. i'm afraid to start planning for anything in fear that her mind will change between now and then. we would have one very upset little lady if i were to dare throw her a hello kitty party when she changed her mind to a reading one. the nerve of me. i have simply learned to let her make her requests and plan away and when we get close to the end i can work my persuasive mother magic into something we can both agree on. fingers crossed right?

i made the mistake of telling her that her birthday was actually going to fall on the last day of school this year. she is ecstatic. "does that mean i get to have two parties mom?" i have seriously created a monster. one that is about to turn 4, and i am dying over it. how on earth can she be 4 already? ugh.

so today when she asked if she were going to school and i told her no it was wednesday she asked again if she were going tomorrow. i replied "why yes you are sweetie, it's thursday.. we go to school every thursday."

"does that mean it's my birthday?"

with a pair of scissors, stapler, and a few sheets of construction paper we were 15 minutes away from a classic countdown chain. not sure if it was more for me or for her. doubt i could make it another day with her asking if it was her birthday yet, and not sure if she could make it another day without having a "special countdown to emmy's birthday chain to see how long we actually have until my birthday chain runs out will be the day i turn 4 chain". that is really what she calls it.

needless to say she loves it, and she can't wait to tear off the first link tomorrow morning first thing when she wakes up. i absolutely love how passionate this girl is about things. reminds me so much of her dad.

the chain is 36 links long. just over a months worth. we will blink and it will be here. once i realized that, i really started to freak. you see, when all those links are torn off, not only does it mean emerson turns 4, it also means that baby number three is going to be here. what in the what?

36 days is nothing.

how am i even going to do this? three little kids? and by little i mean young, and by young i mean really young. i am going to be ridiculously out numbered and i'm afraid i may never leave my house again. really though.. i may not. no really.

there are two things that i really don't want to happen. a. i don't want emerson to share a birthday with her sister. i hope she stays all nice and warm and cozy in there if only for one extra day. having had the same due date as i did with emmy has been tricky. and b. i don't want her to come before em's birthday. the thought of having three kids three and younger even if only for a day makes me sound weird. and almost creepy. even though it's not. self perception seems to be over taking me a lot in this last trimester.

regardless, i have got two big events to start planning over here. two big birthday bashes. one for my big girl 4 year old, and one for my sweet little nugget who i have been dying to meet. couldn't love the two of them any more then i do now, and amongst all the chaos that is about to ensue, i am extremely grateful that heavenly father has entrusted me to mother and nurture and teach these precious kids. i am truly truly blessed in more ways then i could ever express.

and can you please take a look at sissy's camera face right now? who does she think she is? and why does she look 12 already? i roll every time she poses for me. love her.

april 28th 2009

1:30am i made it to the hospital, and by 5:00am he was in my arms. my life was forever changed.

at two weeks we nicknamed him grumpy gus, and here we are two years later. that name could not be any more far off from him now.

in his two short little years of life he's already seen the inside of a CT machine, suffered concussions, had many scrapes and bruises, and has had multiple black eyes. he is all boy.

not only is he the most stubborn kid i know, he is also the most polite. what two year old says "thank you very much" after you change their diaper?

food of choice? candy. anytime, any place. there are no safe hiding spots.

he prefers grandpas to grandmas as well as dada's to mama's. while at times it breaks my heart, seeing my two boys together also melts my heart.

he is as fast as lightening, and he runs on only one speed. turbo.

he prefers to spend his park time in a swing rather than on a slide, and is even known to fall asleep while doing so.

i love him.

more then he will ever know.

ever.

i will never ever let him forget it.

ever.

happy birthday mr. d. i am so so lucky to be your mom.

more on this cute little man later.

life is sweet

i love getting these two together. and obviously they love it too. cousins make life sweet.

Bed Head

I seriously love this crazy lady when she wakes up in the morning.

Is it weird that my best friend is a 3 year old?

sissy, sissy , sissy

over the last few weeks dane has turned into something else. the tempers, the tantrums, the attitude, the everything. he is like a completely different kid (i know that is probably wrong, but to a mother who is pregnant the world is always going to end). at school pickup i am normally greeted with "he did awesome today" which has quickly changed to "he has been a pill since the minute you dropped him off".

yesterday at drop off he cried at the transition, and was having a very hard time cooperating to go upstairs. i ran back in to talk to his speech therapist, and 4 minutes later when i walked out to the car... he was still screaming and had only made it up to the third step. i couldn't help but laugh. his stubbornness has turned into a joke. it's ridiculous.

lucky for me, picking him up was pleasant. he ran down the stairs yelling "mama" with a huge grin on his face. nothing feels better than being greeted like that. nothing. after our warm embrace he immediately grabbed a paper out of his bag that his teacher was holding and darted for the car yelling "sissy!". i quickly stopped him from running into the parking lot to find this sweet number in his hand.


his teacher started laughing and informed me that after he had done his coloring she randomly cut it into a heart. as soon as dane saw the heart he screamed over and over again "sissy! sissy! sissy!". she took it as a note to address the beautiful piece of art to his sissy. he carried it around the rest of the day calling out for her.

to say he was disappointed when she wasn't in the car when we got there is an under statement.

under that recent rough exterior is still a mushy warm heart... that i know will always be there.


at first i thought it was so sweet that he would associate the heart with how much he loved his sister.. but after finding this picture of emmy.. i realized he associated it with her current obsession. hearts. can you even believe this chick? heart shirt, heart pants, heart socks.. none of which match, and still she could care less.

hilarious.

be mine

valentines's is just one of those holidays for me. now that i have kids.. it's just another day to shove ridiculous amounts of candy at them. and believe me, dane does not need one more piece of candy in his life.

not that either of these ideas are better than candy, at least it wasn't candy. that's what i keep telling myself.

ems had her preschool party today and she was beyond thrilled to hand out these bad boys. for once she went with something i wanted. it made my heart sing since it was so out of character for her. the girl has got an opinion. let me tell ya.

the hardest part about them was getting a decent picture of emmy. her eyes and the camera do not mix, but i love this little "i'm day dreaming" look she gave me. ended up being perfect.

i love that we added the crazy straw last minute. it just gave it an extra element i thinking it needed. it was too bare bones with just the bottle of crush. the kids in her class loved them too.. let's just hope their parents feel the same!

dane's was a little different for me. he goes to therapy three days a week, and see's multiple therapists a day. the problem we faced though, was that he doesn't always see the same girls. with the exception of his speech, the others are just a hodge podge of rockin ladies playing with my little man. i knew i had to do something cheap and small because they have quite the staff over there at conerstone.

i made a few boxes worth of muddy buddies, slapped a heart on a few clothes pins i had laying around, bagged em and called it good. they were adorable. largely in part to do with that cute little face of his. when i picked him up three hours later today they were completely gone, and all that ws left on the basket was a note that said "warning, made with peanut butter". hope we didn't send anyone to anaphylactic shock! i know we didn't.. i'm sure i would have heard about it. right?

the best part of all though... i finally got crafty again! if you can call this that. it felt good, it's been far too long. i have projects and projects stowed away in the to-do pile but i have had zero motivation to tackle them. this might have just given me the itch.

hope you all have a happy valentine's weekend.