theorem network

[ Text only from the guy who hates calls and/or being recorded. ]

Got it — that gold-red fern that only opens up during the day? Tobacco like.

Gives you a headache first time you smoke it, but afterwards? Smooth sailing.

Bring me samples of the leaves, drier the better. Found rolling papers.

Or don't. I'm not your mom.

[ Yet despite saying that, attached comes a picture of the aforementioned plant (Sun's Lace), two samples in view: one healthy, the other dried up. ] So you gonks don't poison yourselves toking up the wrong herb.

You're welcome ᝰ🚬

[ The post goes up on the network a few minutes after touchdown planetside. The speaker is quite obviously trying to catch his breath, and there’s an undercurrent of laughter in his voice— sharp with both disbelieving amusement and a bit of panic. ]

The er, emergency landin’ system on the ships, yeah? That?

S’workin’. Just thought folks’d wanna know.

[ GUESS WHO ALMOST JUST DIED? This guy!

For context and any in-person concerns, see Prompt #1 here! ]

[ Amidst the impressive technological marvels and distractions present on the ship, Johnny found it impossible to resist the allure of commandeering the network for a brief moment. While he's no deckhead or with a fancy BD strapped to his head, Johnny at least knows how to work a camera. This is why everyone is getting a good view of the scowling rockerboy as he puffs smoke directly into the camera.

Yeah, he's smoking again already. Don't ask how he got his hands on another e-cigarette. It probably involved a five-finger discount and a lot of schmoozing. Despite being such a complete asshole, Johnny is at least charming.

He's a charming little parasite. ]

Okay, chucklefucks. [ He mutters before taking another drag on his cigarette. Smoke billows from his nose as he exhales, resembling an angry demon/oni graphic on his tank top. ] Let's have a little talk.

Where the fuck are all of you from? Half of y'all look like your average Joe, while others look like wannabe supermodels who just walked off a Jinguji photoshoot.

[ Johnny lets out a chuckle as he brushes some ash off his cigarette. ]

So, who wants to go first? State your name and where the hell you're from.