Preschoolhouse Rock!

As a rookie mum, I wrongly assumed that there would be mums a plenty looking to form co-ops for their preschoolers in lieu of paying through the nose for formal education prior to Kindergarten. Silly me. Only one other mum in our ward was going that route and we decided to join forces and take turns teaching our girls, Teagan and Ellie (born only weeks apart) at home – me on Tuesdays, Cathy on Thursdays. I was thrilled at the prospect and thought the world of Cathy already as we were planning. Then she casually mentioned the fact that she’d been a preschool teacher for years. Ha! Bless her heart, she calendared, she planned, she gave me tips and Teagan loved every minute she spent there.

Would I have loved to have more families involved so I wasn’t teaching once a week? Sure! But it worked the way it worked and we had the added bonus of sweet Auntie Tara inviting Teagan to the co-op preschool she was in when she taught every 6 weeks or so. We were only able to return the favour and have her cousin Sam join us once, because of scheduling issues, but it was fun when we did. And teaching only two little girls was a growing experience for me, to be sure. Ellie and Teagan are as different as they come and referring the two of them and trying to prepare them both for social situations at school proved a challenge. Both very bright and creative, though, and as the year went on, I got a little better at finding activities that they would both enjoy. But only a little. I stressed out and stayed up until the wee hours every Monday night for months and finally relaxed in the last few weeks when it came to teaching and not worrying that everything was just right and Pinterest worthy. It’s a little cliché, but I really do think I learned more this year than they did.

Cathy made a whole calendar, assigning a letter, colour and number to each day with a few book themed days thrown in. We covered the alphabet twice over the course of the year and we each got a chance to teach each letter…Cathy a whole lot better than I. Thank heaven for Pinterest – I never would have made it without thousands of other people’s ideas. A few of them that I remember…

A – ate apples, made alligator

B – bubbles, bee craft, beads

C – made C filled with C words

D – read The Dirtiest Dog, The Diggingest Dog, Oh My, Oh My, Oh Dinosaurs, D is for Donut out of construction paper, drove cars on a map mat, made dandelions out of Q-Tips

E – ate eggs, made elephant handprint

F – read One Fish, Two Fish, Fun on the Farm, cupcake liner fireworks, fruit salad, make your own face, Feed the Fish, Five Little Speckled Frogs, favourite things

G – games, gumball machine craft, gel painting, GOOP

H – Ha Ha Ha, told jokes

I – marshmallow igloo, ice cream craft, ice play

J – juggled, played Jenga

K – Kite craft, King crowns, kangaroo costumes, ate Hershey’s Kisses, made keys

L - Legos

M – read Moostache, played Memory Match, made masks, maracas, counted and ate M & Ms, played with magnets, made music

N – ate Nutella, noodle necklaces, color by number

O – made octopuses, Pin the Tentacles on the Octopus

P – puppets, popcorn P, Push & Pull

Q – Read The Quiet Book, Quiet Wyatt; made a thumbprint quilt, quarter rubbings, quarter toss, ate quesadillas, played Quick & Slow, made Queen crowns

R – rainbows, restaurant

S – Made S out of squares of paper, Scavenger Hunt, snakes out of Play-Doh, played Stop & Go, made snowmen, played with sequins

T – brushing teeth, marshmallow teeth counting game, made tipping teapot

U – Made umbrellas from cupcake wrappers, twirl the umbrella to quiz letters, U Toss (like horseshoes)

V – volcano science experiment, vegetables

W - weather

X – X marks the spot, played xylophones

Y – cupcake liner yo-yo, Y wrapped in yarn

Z – zoo

It was neat to be involved in Teagan’s preschool and I can’t help but feel like she will excel in Kindergarten.  (It helps that Cathy told me that several times!) She is so creative and curious and bright and I can't wait to see her take on school. I don’t know that I can convince Mason to sit and listen and participate (or convince anyone else to teach him without paying them, for that matter) so when it comes his turn for preschool, we may have to dig into his college fund to send him somewhere formal. But it was a growing experience for me that I’m grateful for… now that we are done. 

Ta ra, My Flower.

My Grandma's always been an angel to me, but now it's official.

 

I've been trying to figure out a way to put it into words. The fact that it's taken me a year should imply how difficult it is for me to write about my Grandma passing away. I'm writing in February 2016 because it's taken me dozens of times in between to sit down and write and I couldn't continue blogging until I'd recorded the experience.)

You may roll your eyes and think, 'Michelle...everyone's grandparents die.' And while that may be true, not everyone has a special relationship with theirs.

My Grandma is my hero. A woman of faith, strength, determination, service, integrity, bravery...I could go on. I tried my hand at a tribute to my Grandma last year after my Grandad passed. I wanted to make sure she knew that I loved her. In her own polite, subtle way, she expressed very little enthusiasm for what I'd published. Perhaps I hadn't said enough wonderful things about her - there's a lot of material to work with. But I'm glad she read it. And I'm confident that she knows that I love her and I think that's what it comes down to when all is said and done. We want our loved ones to know that they are loved ones. There will always be something more we could have done, but as long as we are making our loved ones feel like loved ones every day, we should be able to sleep at night. More on that later.

I had a standing phone date with my Grandma each week for (what I didn't know was) the last few months of her life. She was on her own in the apartment she had shared with my Grandad and while she was surrounded by family and friends, I wanted to make sure she knew that I was thinking about her. I put a reminder in my phone - not because I'd forget to call her but because as a stay at home mum of preschoolers, I'm always forgetting what day of the week it is. Months later, I still have the reminder in my phone that pops up every Friday at 8:00 because I can't bring myself to delete it and it feels good to give her that time when I see it go off and realize all over again that it's a call I won't be able to make.

I tried to call on Friday, January 30th and my Uncle Steve told me that she was resting and that he'd tell her I called. Then it was my turn to get a phone call. My brother texted me on Sunday morning as I was sitting in Sunday School to call home. This was highly unusual, so I was immediately concerned. I stepped out of the building and called home. My mum answered in a shaky voice and asked me if I was sitting down. I knew I'd receive bad news, but I didn't expect for Grandma to already be gone. She had passed quietly in her sleep, only days after stopping a chemo treatment that only seemed to make her days more miserable and painful. After a 5 year battle with breast cancer, my Grandma was called home.

 

When you get a blow like that, you expect the world to stop. I hung up the phone, ending a conversation that devastated me to my core, and families were arriving to church, small children brushing past me as they skipped into the building. I walked around for a while trying to gain my composure and after saying a few prayers mustered the strength to go back inside. I had to teach a lesson in Young Women's, after all. My eyes were red and gleaming, so naturally, people stopped me in the hallway to ask if I was all right. And I wasn't - I broke down every time. My fellow YW leaders told me I could go home but it occurred to me that I was teaching 12 and 13 year old girls about The Plan of Salvation - the plan that gives our lives purpose and direction, that assures us we will be with family again after death - the doctrine that stands among the most important in our church. If I truly believed that my Grandma was in a better place, no longer suffering and that we would be reunited after my time here on earth, then surely I could and should tell those girls that. And what better time to bear testimony of those principles? I was a complete mess for a lot of it, and my mother-in-law came and sat in on some of the class to see if I was okay and was ready to step in if I couldn't go on. But through my blubbering I bore testimony that I know that The Plan of Salvation is true and that a loving Heavenly Father allowed His son, Jesus Christ, to serve as a sacrifice so that we can repent and have the opportunity to live with Them and with our families for time and all eternity. And I believe it.

I could feel The Holy Ghost offering me comfort in the knowledge that this wasn't the end. That my Grandma was resting in Spirit Paradise, when she wasn't visiting my Grandad and others and teaching them about the gospel of Jesus Christ and how there is still an opportunity, through temple work, for them to accept the gospel and enjoy the blessings of exaltation. Brenda said it was a beautiful, heartfelt testimony that would touch the girls' hearts. I hope so. At the very least, my testimony was strengthened in the bearing of it and I loved thinking about Grandma and Grandad's glorious reunion on the other side. Grandma's testimony of the gospel and dedication to it throughout her life brings me comfort because I know that she knew exactly where she'd be going and that there would be loved ones and flowers all around to greet her on the other side. Going through old things, we found an outline she'd prepared for a talk on gratitude and I loved seeing how much she valued the gospel and owe her my membership in the church as the first convert in my ancestry.

I took to Instagram and Facebook after receiving the news and the flood of messages that ensued was evidence of my grandma's incredibly amiable nature and many people spoke to her ability to make them feel like the most important person in her life when she was speaking with them. Photos I'd never seen or hadn't seen in a long time popped up online and I loved seeing those moments in Grandma's life.

Despite already making two trips to Canada the previous year - one unexpected, for my Grandad's funeral, I insisted on being there for my Grandma's service. So I packed Mason and I up and booked a flight to wintery Toronto.

We couldn't afford for Teagan to come with me, so I took her out for ice cream the day before we were to leave to spend a little delicious quality time with her. I found it to be no coincidence when we went to pay and found ourselves unwitting beneficiaries of McDonald's "Pay with Lovin'" campaign. I was told that to pay for our ice cream, all I needed to do was give my darling girl a hug. Win win in my book! Someone was looking out for us!

And those little tender mercies continued for my journey with Mason, a very determined, opinionated, brand new walker. From pilots opening their plane windows to wave at him, to sympathetic gate agents who arranged for us to be in a row with an empty seat, to a huge play place during a LONG delay, to empty hallways for him to explore without getting run over or trampled, to incredibly kind fellow passengers who played peek-a-boo on our flights and allowed a 15 month old to play with their iPad, with no concern about him damaging it. I was made aware at every turn on our long journey that we were being blessed.

My mum asked me if I'd like to help dress Grandma for burial and I only had to think about it for a second. I knew it would be hard to see her, but knew that I'd regret it if I didn't participate. Mum, Auntie Heather Sister Lynch, Sister Barter and I were able to work together to dress Grandma in her temple clothes and it was a beautiful, sacred experience that I will never forget.
The next day, the family gathered at the funeral home to spend some time together grieving, remembering and celebrating her life. It was a really special experience and we had a lot of fun stories to share.
The funeral itself was beautiful. I didn't have to play the organ this time (probably because I was sobbing all over the keys at Grandad's funeral) and Kristina's in-laws, the Vegas, offered to watch Mason for me so I could sit listen and participate. It was another incredible kindness that meant the world to me. There were so many people there and I found myself turning around and looking at the congregation while we sang "Each Life That Touches Ours for Good", taking note that my Grandma had influenced every one of those people's lives with her service and love. I couldn't sing the rest of the song for the lump in my throat thinking about how much she is loved.
It was wonderful to be surrounded by so much family - Grandma's jewels, she called them. And they sparkled. I made everyone pose for a picture (again) and while some were mildly irritated with my insistence on taking these photos, I'm so glad I did. Family is what matters.

My Mum, Uncle Gary and Uncle Steve all spoke at the service and each did an incredible job paying homage to such a wonderful lady. Mum told stories of Grandma's boundless generosity and kindess - of when Grandma & Grandad owned and operated a corner store in Canada and people would come in and only want to deal with Dorothy because she would let them run a tab and pay later. She said moving to Canada to be closer to our grandparents was the best thing they ever did and that all of our good points come from Grandma. Mum has a way with words that I well remember from her helping me write reports, talks and essays and she did a beautiful job.
Uncle Gary, whom I snuck a photo of while he was collecting his thoughts about his mum, was an absolute riot. He talked about a book that Grandma had received from his daughter Emma, which asked Grandma questions about her life and Grandma spent weeks writing in it and answering those questions, adding pictures and bearing her testimony. There was one part in the book that Grandma told about them moving to Canada. It makes sense when you know the circumstances, but the way she worded turned out to be a family joke. She claims that "Gary didn't come to Canada with us as he was married and Gay." He was married - to a woman, and he assured the congregation that he was not, in fact, gay (his friend Chris had accompanied him on the trip, so we wanted to leave no doubts about his heterosexuality!) but that Grandma was referring to his sister. It was hilarious. He also talked about the sly way that Grandma would communicate with her oldest son when he needed to make a sacrifice. If they had someone for dinner and there wasn't enough for everyone to have seconds, she'd say, "You don't want more, do you, Gary?" meaning 'You can't have more so don't ask.' She applied it to different aspects of his life as well, "You don't want to move to Canada, do you, Gary?" We had a great time listening to Deacon Gary McDermott (he left the church as a teen). He said he was a bit sad that Grandma missed him giving a talk from the pulpit.

Uncle Steve managed to keep his composure after singing with Auntie Heather and also spoke about Grandma. As a member of the Stake Presidency, he'd given many a talk and he would always ask Grandma how he'd done and get her approval. He noticed a trend that whenever he gave a talk and including a story or anecdote about Grandma, her ratings would skyrocket. But if he spoke and didn't mention her at all, her opinion was lukewarm. So he said that this would be the best talk he'd ever given because it was all about her! He talked about being able to travel to Las Vegas with Grandma to be with us and participate in Mason's blessing. I'm forever grateful to him for making the trip. He talked about how special it had been for Grandma to witness him assisting in the blessing of my son after he'd been the one to bless me as a baby. He shared many other tender stories and read the poem that my Grandma had received in a card from the missionaries after her father died that puts death into beautiful perspective.

Gone From My Sight

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,
spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck
of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

 

Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone."

 

Gone where?

 

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me -- not in her.

And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone,"
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"

 

And that is dying...

My amazingly talented friend, Jenna, who (among other things) creates beautiful calligraphy, wrote out some of the poem for my Mum to frame and it was absolutely perfect.

After the funeral, we headed to the cemetery as a family. Again, Karla and her family kept Mason entertained so we could pay our respects at the grave site. At his request, Grandad had been cremated, so half of his ashes sat with Grandma in her coffin and the other half was carried over to England with David, his eldest son.

We were each given a rose to place on the coffin - a fitting tribute to my Grandma who called everyone in her singsongy voice, "My flower." (I've saved every voicemail I received from her over the last few years just to make sure I always remember how that sounds.) You never knew if she was talking to a grandchild, a friend or a telemarketer - she always made everyone feel special and like the only person who mattered to her. I heard that comment from more than a few people. The softly falling snow made for a pretty scene, in spite of the circumstances.

We headed back to the church for the reception and I marveled at the Relief Society, quietly serving all day out of love for my Grandma and our family. From helping dress Grandma in her temple clothes for burial, to providing food for hundreds of mourners, it was heartwarming to see the Relief Society in action.
We had worked hard on creating posters from the thousands of photos of Grandma - mostly with other people, because someone always wanted to be with her. I'd seen a few photos of her growing up, but so many more came out of the woodwork and I have to say, my Grandma's a looker!

After the funeral, Mason and I had a few days to spend time together with family. And throw up. He got sick, like we always do when we visit, and it did my heart good to be able to just sit and snuggle him.

 

Grandma was the best baby snuggler ever, and it made me think of her even more. In fact, the last photo I have of her and I features her snuggling a sleeping Mason on our visit in June for Grandad's funeral. Decades of babies and she still had the uncanny ability to subdue the feistiest of infants and make them sleep.

 

On our visit the following August, I slipped away to spend a few minutes reflecting in Grandma & Grandad's apartment. It was relatively untouched and I collapsed in a pile on the floor as I walked in. Nothing had been changed, but it didn't feel the same. I kept expecting to see Grandad in his spot on the couch and Grandma puttering in the kitchen. I took a few photos so I could remember how it looked when they were there and quietly cried at the dozens of photos all over the place of various children, grandchilren and great grandchildren. Family was so important to my grandparents and I am so grateful to know that we can be together forever.

 

Auntie Heather showed me a collection of things that Grandma had wanted to pass on to Mason and had them waiting on a hook in her bathroom to give to us now that Stephen had outgrown them. I asked people if I could lay claim on a few things of Grandma & Grandad's to remember them by. I took their mail holder and hung it up at my house - I always remembered Grandma keeping letters she'd received from me in there and I found some old appointment cards and poppies of Grandad's. I sat and stared at the wall and noticed the strange contrast of the clock continuing to tick on and the calendar stopped on February, with no one to turn the pages any more. It gave me pause.

I don't know that this post has done my angel Grandma any justice at all, but I had to write some of my feelings down that I've been trying to work through for a year. I have a framed photo she sent me of her, Grandad and the kids we took last summer, the month before Grandad died. It sits on my dresser, close to the locket she returned to me that I'd given her when I was in high school, in which I placed a photo of my beloved grandparents.

I think about them both every day and while I miss them, I know that we will be together forever, thanks to the Atonement and Resurrection of our Saviour Jesus Christ. I got the happy news in December that Grandad's temple work had been done by my brother and uncle and that the day before their wedding anniversary, they were sealed in the Toronto, Ontario Temple on December 12th for all eternity. I love the gospel. I love my Grandma. I love my Grandma's knowledge and testimony of the gospel and am so grateful to her for her example of enduring to the end, and while it may not written on her epitaph that she "endured to the end and in a small way made a difference", it's written on our hearts. Ta ra, my flower.

A Despicable Halloween

There are a lot of "best parts" about having a family, and one of the best has to be Halloween - at least while our children are young enough to go along with a family costume scheme. For the last couple of years, we've let Teagan choose her costume and we plan around that, in order to minimize fighting. (Note, I said "minimize" and not "eliminate.") This year, she wanted to be Edith from Despicable Me. And a perfect fit she is.

So we settled on the rest of us being a minion, Gru and Dr. Nefario to Teagan's Edith.

Brandon's job allows and encourages him to dress up for Halloween, but without the three of us, he'd be a little hard to place, so we did a little Googling and found a costume that was equally easy and hilarious. If you grew up in the 90s. He said most of his patients got the reference. (Wilson from Home Improvement if it's lost on you.)

But we showed up to the ward Trunk or Treat in full Despicable Me regalia, for better or worse, and were received by either laughter, puzzled faces or awkward glances. If people were familiar with the movie, they chuckled...and asked me where I got my goggles. (Amazon, if you're wondering.)

Mason made a great minion - never stopped running around, mumbling jibberish and getting into all sorts of mischief.

It was more than a little adorable to watch them follow Gru around all night.

We were ever so glad we went to the Trunk or Treat before Halloween, because there was a torrential downpour on the big night and we (very timidly and skeptically) asked Teagan if she'd rather stay home and help hand out candy. And much to our surprise, she agreed enthusiastically. Some braved the storm, and we rewarded them with candy, but it was a whole lot nicer being warm and dry. And not in a bald cap.
Love this wee family 'o' mine and hope this tradition can carry on for another few years.

I'm a Haw-ntie!

My sister had a baby! I'm too excited to think of anything wittier than that. 

Mia Victoria Vega, their little miracle, was born on July 2nd and I am thrilled for their sweet little family! Kristina was a champion and my mum, sister and Pablo's mum were able to be in the delivery room with her, which warms my heart because my poor Mum has missed out on both of my C-sections because they only allow one person in the room.

I've got 13 nieces and nephews on Brandon's side, and while I love them all very much, there's something very special about your very own sister having a baby. And not just because I know what's coming for her and that a few years down the road I might get a chance to sit back and smile when she's going through what we're going through at the moment. 

Pablo and Kristina will be fantastic parents and I am so happy for them! I can't wait to meet this adorable little bundle in August!

(Forgot to publish this a while ago!)

We Bought A Zoo!

Technically, we bought a house, but as soon as we move in it will become a zoo.

After a really frustrating experience looking for houses in the city where Brandon is working, we decided to open ourselves to the idea of looking 15 minutes down the road where his parents and two siblings live. It's across the Washington/Idaho border, so we will be paying income tax in Idaho, but housing is significantly cheaper than Washington and we found an amazing house.

The first time we were looking for a house in Las Vegas, we both remember walking in the front door and having a feeling about the house...the 5th house we'd looked at. After months of searching here and seeing "meh" houses that we sold before we'd finished walking through them, I began to feel concerned that we wouldn't find that "perfect" house and we'd have to pay out the nose for something that was just okay.

 Enter my sister-in-law, who notified me at 10:00 on a Friday night early in March that a house I'd been coveting since moving here had come up for sale. Why would you covet it before it came on the market, you ask? Well, we walk by it nearly every day as it's on the same street we live on now. You may think me creepy, but I'd stroll a little slower whenever we passed it, in awe of how cool it was and how beautifully it was decorated. So, we looked up photos online and saw the parts of the house that no amount of creepy lingering would allow me to see and were in love. There was another house that looked great too and so Brandon called (a miracle in itself) to schedule appointments. We didn't have a realtor at this point because we'd decided earlier that day to look on this side of the state line, which requires a different license. Brandon left messages and heard back from the other house that it already had 3 offers on it - seriously, it's madness here this year! And the mailbox for THE house was full. Bummer. My sister-in-law then called us to see if we'd gotten in and we said we couldn't get through and sighed a big sigh. Ever so clever, she found another number for the listing agent and got us an appointment in the afternoon. So the three of us (and some friends from the ward who happened to be driving by and have also drooled over the house from afar - seriously, it's cool) went and looked and loved it. We found out that we were the 5th showing that day and there were more lined up for the next day. We had very little hope. We talked about and it prayed about it and decided to put in an offer. We called the agent Shawn & Annie had used to buy there house a few months ago and told her the situation. Must have been a nice surprise as a realtor to hear that you could skip the super annoying part of searching for a house and just get straight to the purchasing. She was wonderful and stayed up late writing an offer and coaching us on how to proceed. The next day she told us that she had clients looking at the house the next day and that they put in an offer as well. An idea had come to me (through the Spirit, I'm sure) to mention that our living arrangements were such that they could take their time and we could close in months instead of weeks. We knew they had children in school and thought they might like to finish out the school year in the house and wanted our offer to be appealing. A happy side effect is that the longer they take, the longer we live rent free ;) They accepted our offer and after just a little back and forth after the inspection, we reached a happy agreement and scheduled to close on May 4th. Star Wars Day of all days. The date ended up being the 1st instead, but it's still one we can remember. 

We signed our life away yesterday and spent almost all our money in one place. We were incredibly blessed to be able to sell our first home and without spending anything on improvements, come away with a profit. We bought at the right time and sold when the market was changing for the better. If we'd sold now instead, it would be have been more lucrative but not having a mortgage payment for the last 6 months has really helped us save. We're very grateful to Heavenly Father for His hand in our lives, guiding us to make these decisions and to have the timing work so much in our favour. And to Brandon's parents who've allowed us to turn their lives upside down for almost 10 months. Mason was a baby when we moved in and now he's an incredibly active toddler who can't keep his chubby hands out of anything. That being said, we haven't quite worn out our welcome here yet and will take a few weeks to clean, paint, fix, etc. Our situation couldn't be more ideal, as we can see the house from where we live now and can just pop over quickly to check on things and chip away at the to-do list a little at a time. (Yes, we are living 4 doors down from my in-laws, but it's a much better situation than Everybody Loves Raymond - trust me.) We are extremely excited to have a home that we can call and make our own and I can't wait to see our stuff again. It's going to be like Christmas! 

We signed at 9:00 in the morning in hopes that the loan would fund that day and we'd be able to get keys. We waited all day for a call - longest day ever - and of course, when I went to the bathroom at 4:00 I missed the call we'd been holding our breath for. We rushed to the office to pick up a key and took the kids right over to see it. Teagan was really excited. She was most excited about the pirate ship. In the neighbours' backyard. Great. And Mason was just beside himself with so much room to run around. The backyard is gigantic and has a sprawling field behind it - one of the main reasons we bought the place - but isn't fenced on either side. We tried to take the kids outside and they both ran in opposite directions. So we will be introducing ourselves to the neighbours and promptly erecting a fence. "Good fences make good neighbours" Annie quoted to me and I'm sure our new ones will agree.

The Before

We were smitten with the house as soon as we walked in. The way The Jameses had it decorated was flawless and when we saw it empty for the first time - scratches and holes in the walls, handprints and smudges and dents - it caught me off guard and I wondered what we'd done. But minutes later, it felt like home as we let go of the images of how they had the house set up and imagined what we would do with the home to make it ours. But we made sure to save some of the "Before" photos because it's fun to see the differences.