A Red Sea Place

Have you come to the Red Sea place in your life, Where, in spite of all you can do, There is no way out, there is no way back, There is no other way but through? Then wait on the Lord with a trust serene Till the night of your fear is gone; He will send the wind, He will heap the floods, When He says to your soul, "Move on." And His hand will lead you through -- clear through -- Ere the watery walls roll down, No foe can reach you, no wave can touch, No mightiest sea can drown; The tossing billows may rear their crests, Their foam at your feet may break, But o'er the seabed you will walk dry ground In the path that your Lord will make. In the morning watch, 'neath the lifted cloud, You will see but the Lord alone, When He leads you on from the place of the sea To a land that you have not known; And your fears will pass as your foes have passed, You will be no more afraid; You will sing His praise in a better place, A place that His hand has made. -Annie Johnson Flint

This year, may we find the hope necessary to make our "Red Sea," a puddle.

Happy New Year!

Best wishes for you in 2016!

I felt like writing today.

I know I said I was planning on blogging once again but life got in the way. Life has been a bit of an obstacle lately and I know I am not alone in my feelings. I am sure somewhere out there in internet land, there is a stay at home mom who feels the weight of the entire world on her shoulders. Someone who feels maybe she too is drowning in her days.
Depression is funny that way. It will tell you that you are isolated. Alone. That everyone else with the exception of just you, is happy and thriving. It makes you feel like you are outside in the cold with your nose pressed to the window of life and that you are not good enough to go inside. But the truth is, depression is a bit of a sorority or fraternity. It is a large group with an initiation and secret language of it's own. The truth is, even if you wanted to, you could not possibly be alone.

This bout has been a particularly rough one. It brought it's friend, Anxiety, along for the ride. Anxiety attacks are the worst. They rob you of hope and hope is really the only weapon one has against a case of the sads. Hope is everything. Hope is a strength, a power and a gift. We need hope. NEED.

So I have been looking for hope. Luckily, I know where to find it :

I am in the thick of my sad. But I wanted to stretch out my hand to anyone in the Depression Club who might feel that all hope is gone. Its not.

Murdock Moments at McDonald's

We have been home-bound for FAR TOO LONG.
Its always one thing or another that has prevented us from getting out on a regular basis and yesterday, we hit the wall.
We put our boots on, braved the horrid snowy weather and drove to McDonalds with minimal sliding.
Because they have an indoor play place, and people, little boys need to play!

So I unleashed the children and that magical pent-up-kid energy propelled them to new heights of happy running about.

We had a fabulous time.
But something that I will remember forever is Murdock's first encounter with cooties.

There were two other children also taking advantage of the indoor park equipment-both girls.
Murdock is a social butterfly and desperately wanted to include them in the "Secret Mission Car" game that he and his brother were playing.
They were at the top of the slide and this is the conversation I heard:

Murdock: "Excuse me. Excuse me please young ladies,(yes, he really said that) do you want to go to the secret mission car? Its Munchie's turn to drive!"

Little Girls: "No. You are a boy. We don't play with boys."

Murdock: "But its really fun to play."

Little Girls: "No. We don't know you, go away."

And then my sweet little gentleman came down with the most confused face I have ever seen him sport. The poor kid had absolutely no clue why little girls would not be rushing to play with two very fun guys.
I tried hard to explain that little girls were sometimes like that but it was just a phase and one day he wouldn't run into such problems.
Even with my explanation, he was utterly baffled.

I hope he always wants to include everyone.
I have a feeling he will, its just the way he came.

Seriously, how can you say no to this face?

(This picture always makes me chuckle. Its like he is smiling with his whole head.)

 

The Journey

A while back I was talking to a good friend and she said something that echos inside me on days like today, "This will be the hardest road you will ever travel. But its something you have to do."
Boy was she right.

When Murdock was two, I noticed some behavioral things that gave me pause.
I discussed them with my sweet husband and his family and they gently brushed it aside.
So I tried to move on.
But with time, either the behavior will improve or get worse and my baby was not improving.
By the time he was three, I knew.

It took a lot of prayer, a lot of research, MANY tears, a few more years of choosing my battles and now, just before Murdy turns six, we have a diagnosis:
Autism.

I have struggled for some time to form a complete thought and to sum up my feelings. I wish I could dig deep and share a piece of my heart.
Instead, I will share this little video.
I think it does a much better job than I ever could.

For anyone out there who might be on a journey of your own, I promise we do not walk alone. I have never trusted God more than I do now, and I give thanks for my son who has given me far more than I could ever give in return.

Thank Goodness!

Have you read Brene Brown's book, The Gifts of Imperfection?
If not, do. Start today.
(You're welcome.)

She shares that one way she practices gratitude is by blogging things that she is grateful for.
I need to do that.
I need to practice my gratitude more.
So I am totally stealing borrowing her idea.

Something that is on my heart right now:

Health.
We might not be in the peak of health, but I truly know that we are blessed.
Overall, we have our health. We function.
If anything, all our minor setbacks have given me more awareness of the miracle of health.

The human body is so incredibly amazing.
I am thankful for mine. For all that it has been able to do and all that it continues to do.

What are you grateful for today?

A Few of My Favorite Things: Chapstick

I am a product junkie.
It is what it is people. Sometimes you can't fight who you are.
(It was one of the driving reasons behind my deciding to become an esthetician.)

Anyhoo, here is the point behind this post: my lips are chapped.
Its January and my lips are chapped.
Maybe you are in the same boat? (If not, cyber high five my friend!)

So I started to really pay attention to what I put on my lips.
My go-to Hurraw lip balm (all natural, lovely stuff-check him out HERE) was no longer meeting my needs. I don't blame him, he did the best he could. I just require more than he can give me at this time...I will probably run back to him in the humid summer months. For now though, we are on a break.

What to do?
Chapstick.
I have used a lot of Chapstick in my time and I can honestly say, its just okay.
I have never had a tube that I had any real feelings for. Most have lived in my purse. Some smell nice. Some don't (Original, you know who you are).

And then.....
Have you tried this guy?

Oh my.

He is a keeper!

You can watch a little commercial about him HERE.

Not gonna lie, I was very skeptical when I picked him up at Target three weeks ago. But he is lovely! Such a joy to use!

This is the only lip balm I have ever used that actually feels hydrating as well as moisturizing. 

There are a lot of moisturizing lip treatments out there and that is wonderful-but this one HYDRATES too! Yay!

(Moisturizing: adds oils. Hydrating: adds water.)

It doesn't feel greasy but it glides on smooth (not sticky or waxy). 

Its clear so it can be used as a base for lipstick.

It says that it is vanilla creme scented but I just smell a faint bit of sweet, nothing overwhelming.

Its cheap!

It works-for me. I know that lips are individual and persnickety in their own right so I will not take offense if you hate this product. 

Here are few downsides if you are considering picking him up:

He contains petroleum. 

I know for many, this is a deal breaker. I don't mind it in small doses but since it goes on your lips, it is safe to say that you will probably ingest a certain amount. (Gross, I know.)

It claims to last 8 hours.....meh. 

I would say, on me, its more like four. But I still love him. 

I hope this helps you if you too are hunting for something to ease a case of the chaps.

Winter is more bearable for me now. 

Lets hold hands and we will get through this season together!

Real Men Wear Wellies

Watson.
Oh my, Watson.
How can you love someone so much who makes you so tired?
Watson makes me tired.

But good heavens, he is an adventure!
I mean, his fashion sense alone is enough to give a body pause...and also a smile.

(This is his new buddy, Watson the raccoon. He came with books that he helps to read. Cute little thing, that.)

One day, I will try and record Munch's sweet, sweet dance moves. There are many. Its like Soul Train up in here.

Two weeks ago, we discovered a tick embedded in his arm. 

(Because ticks in the middle of winter are so common...?) 

I took him to the doctor to have it dug out.

And dig she did.

Did Watson cry? Did he scream? Did he need the three nurses they called in to restrain him?

Nope.

He just wanted to hold my hand and watch.

He also required a bandaid and a half dozen stickers.

Monster stickers.

The medical staff was indeed impressed (as they should be!) and invited him to come back anytime with ticks.

Um....

No thanks. That was enough living on the edge for his mom.

His new favorite thing is to run in a big circle and scream, "Catch me if you can!"

He also likes to tell me, "I can't like that Mom. I just can't like it."

Watson my boy, being tired is worth it to know you.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I am a Christmas Junkie.

There. I said it. Whew!

It feels good to get that out and be honest.

All month long is such a celebration, people are more mindful, more kind (except if you are shopping...that is another animal entirely). I love the meaning of Christmas. I live for the music, the movies, the lights and oh my, the smells! Everything is wonderful!

On December first, the Prep and Landing elves send us a package from the North Pole. We get Christmas shirts, a CD, DVD and an advent calendar with scriptures telling the story of the birth of Jesus. Its a pretty big deal and the boys can't get enough of the advent calendar. (So much do they love it, that I can use it as leverage to inspire good behavior. "If you cannot make good choices, you won't be able to do the calendar tonight." Works. Every single time. Man, I miss that calendar!)

I also wrap up 24 Christmas books and we read one every night.

We make a journey around town to see all the lights.

We chop down our Christmas tree at the local tree farm. This year they had trees that smelled of oranges or peppermint. Heavenly! Murdock fell in love with the orange so we went with one of those.

(Yep. Totally obsessed with Christmas.)

This year I got a camera! Huzzah! 

I literally only had it minutes before I got to start taking pictures so forgive the quality...I am working on it.

(I also uploaded all the photos in the opposite order of which they occurred.I could have rearranged them all, but I didn't so we are going to work our way backward on the big day.)

Bobby and the Much having some male bonding time.

Riding new bikes! Woot!

Surprise! New bikes!

Bobby and Murdock having their dude time as well.

Monster Truck inspection with Grammy and Grandpa.

Thanks for the monster trucks Grammy and Grandpa!

Only cool kids can wear bow ties.

Going over the handbook of the new power tool.

Murdock's first lego set.

Dad playing setting up new gizmo. 

Random Munchie moment.

Flashlight!

The boys get three gifts from Bobby and I (to remind them that Jesus received three gifts) and Santa brings the stockings......the boys don't ever feel cheated. I can't imagine why though, stockings are notoriously small......... 

Planes!

Emptying out a stocking is tough business.

Ouma and Oupa sent kiddie tablets! Woohoo!

Rescue bot Transformers are SO cool!

Little People car ramp doohicky also a giant hit.

Murdock's corner.

Watson's corner.

We were all so blessed this year.
So happy to have each other, to have our over-all health, to have all our needs met and to have the Gospel in out lives.

Merry Christmas!

Brave

Last Friday I took Murdock to the hospital for an MRI.
(One day I will write more about the reasons why but for now, I just want to say that he is going to be ok.)
He knew that he would need to go to sleep so a big camera could take pictures of his brain and he was alright with this plan because he is a giant ham and anything involving a camera is super cool.

The doctor and nurses were really great.
They gave him an iPad to play Angry Birds on.
Up until this point, he had only ever played angry birds on a phone so this was a fantastic treat.
He turned to me and said, "Mom! This is magic!"
(It was all I could do to not go out and buy the kid an iPad....I won't, but heaven help me, in that moment, I seriously considered it.)

He may or may not have screamed bloody murder when they put the IV in his hand.

We went into the MRI room where Murdock saw the big donut camera for the first time and suddenly our little adventure got serious.
"Mom, I don't like this."
(I don't either.) "You are going to be ok. I promise."
They laid him down on the MRI tray.
"Mom, I sure love you."
(Not a dry eye in the place.)
"I love you too Buddy."

And then he was out and I had to sit in the waiting room for two hours and sweat.
I may or may not have cried a little.

Waking up for Murdock was really hard.
He has never reacted well to Versed (sedation juice).
It took almost 4 hours and he was miserable.
And confused.
And very, very angry.

Eventually he was back to himself and we got to go home.
Driving back he said, "Mom, I wasn't brave today. I was scared."
(Stop my heart, why don't you?!)
"Murdock, you are VERY brave. Being brave does not mean that you are not scared. Being brave is being scared and doing it anyway. It is okay to be scared. The important thing is that you don't let fear stop you."

"Because we can do hard things, right mom?"

"Right Buddy."

I have never considered myself brave.
Not until Murdock came along.

He makes me brave.

Because we can do hard things.
Together.