Fic: Unfinished Business
Title: Unfinished Business
Author:
thinlizzy2
Recipiant:
pooka_7
Rating: PG-13
Genre and/or Pairing: Dean/Castiel, humor/romance
Spoilers: Let's say to the end of Season 5, to be safe.
Warnings: Angel on man kisses
Word Count: 2568
Author’s Note: Written for the
ficexchange_mix first challenge. Thanks so much to peachpai for the beta job - you rock!
Summary: The prompt pretty much sums it up! He gripped Dean tight and raised him from Perdition, and accidentally married him. I went with "Shmangst" for the theme; so Cas angsts and Dean shmoops.
“I really must apologize,” Castiel said again.
Dean decided if he said that one more time then, broken hand or not, he was going to sock the angel in the jaw. “Dude, I get that. I got that the first twenty times. What I don’t get is what you’re apologizing for. Care to enlighten me?”
“To be entirely honest with you, I’m not completely certain myself. I received word from Heaven that we were not entirely fulfilling our covenant, and then I was ordered here. I agreed to their summons, but I didn’t realize they would insist on your presence too. Dean, I really must—”
“Don’t,” Dean warned him. “Just don’t.” He sat down heavily on one of the ornate, unbelievably uncomfortable stone chairs. Normally, he would love to find himself in the middle of nowhere with Cas. Fuck, it was the stuff embarrassingly loud dreams were made of. But his dreams tended to involve a lot more nudity and a lot less apologizing.
Castiel stopped pacing and knelt in front of the hunter’s chair. “I want you to know that I intend to accept full responsibility. However we have failed Heaven, the negligence was mine and I will bear the brunt of the punishment for it. If I can help it, you will not come to harm here.”
Dean’s head hurt. There were just too many questions crowding into his brain all at once. He decided to try and simplify things a bit. “Where is here, anyway?”
“I don’t understand.”
“You said I won’t come to harm here. Great, I appreciate that. But where is here?”
Castiel looked around them. “Church. We are in Church.”
That much was obvious. “What church?”
“It doesn’t have a name. It is an amalgamation of all the great churches, all the masterpieces erected in the name of God. Saint Peter likes to meet with the living here.”
Wonderful, more questions. “And who’s Peter?”
“Saint Peter. He is responsible for the Book of Judgment, the records of the sins and virtues of every soul. That is why we have been called here, Dean. It appears we have been sinning.”
In spite of the apparent seriousness of the situation, Dean snorted. Okay, him maybe. But Cas? Sin? Since fucking when?
“This is serious!” Castiel’s brows drew together in frustration. “To deny a covenant is a mortal sin, Dean. Even to be accused of it shames me deeply. But no matter how hard I try, I can not think of how we might have failed. It’s a mystery.”
“Okay, this covenant. Let’s focus on that for a while. What is it?”
“I gripped you tightly,” Castiel reminded him. “I raised you from Perdition.”
“Yeah, I know. Thanks. I definitely owe you a beer. But what’s that got to do with a covenant?”
Cas hit him with such a perfect bitch face that Dean wondered if he’d been secretly taking lessons from Sam. It was actually kind of adorable, but now wasn’t the time to think about that. “Angels are not permitted to just go taking whatever souls from Hell that they like and then abandoning them on Earth. When I agreed to raise you, I was charged with watching over you, with guiding and protecting you.”
“Oh.” Dean hadn’t known that, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. He certainly didn’t mind the idea of Cas looking out for him. In fact, it made his stomach feel warm in a way that reminded him a bit of the first bite of hot apple pie. But Cas only standing by him because Heaven said he had to? That felt wrong.
Oblivious, Castiel continued. “But I’ve been doing all that, so I don’t understand where we’ve gone wrong.”
“That’s because you have a limited mind.” Both the angel and the hunter turned to see an old, white-haired man dressed in flowing robes entering the church, carrying a thick book. “It’s to be expected, however. What can one fairly ask of an angel who’s only three thousand years old?”
“Listen you Lord of the Rings reject--” Dean began.
Castiel cut him off with a sharp elbow to the side. “I apologize, Saint Peter. Dean has many excellent qualities, but respect for authority is not among them.”
The old man clucked his tongue. “For better or for worse, Castiel. That’s what you swore. You shouldn’t even need reminding of that, yet here I am.”
“I assure you, I remember every word of the vow I made!” Cas looked like he was on the verge of panic. “It was the most sacred oath I have ever sworn! ‘I, Castiel, Angel of the Lord, do solemnly swear to cleave to Dean Winchester, to love, honor and cherish him, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and ... what?” He broke off as he noticed Dean gaping at him.
“Dude, the rest of that doesn’t go ‘until death do we part’ by any chance, does it?”
“Of course not!” Castiel seemed befuddled. “I’m responsible for your soul long after your death, Dean.”
“It doesn’t need the death part,” the old man informed them. “It’s equally valid without it.” He wagged a finger at Castiel. “And you’re still fully responsible for completing the ritual.”
Dean needed to take some control of the situation. “Listen, Gandalf—”
“It’s Peter.”
“Whatever. Is this the usual vow you people make when you’re about to yoink someone out of Hell?”
“Well, no,” the Saint admitted. “We don’t do it very often, but we do have a different ritual for retrieving souls which we usually use when the occasion arises. However, God decided to make a change in your case, and it is not for the likes of you to question his great and omnipotent will.”
“Yeah, well, the likes of me is questioning it. Why did you make the change for Cas and me?”
For the first time, Peter looked uncomfortable. “I believe God had set his sights on a young lady who is known to be partial to homoerotic romance stories.”
“God’s girlfriend is a slash fan?” Dean threw himself down on the uncomfortable chair, wincing as a bunch of stone grapes jabbed him in the ass. “Oh, that’s just perfect!”
“I don’t understand.” Castiel regarded both of them with confusion. “What is a slash fan? And what was wrong with our ritual?”
“A slash fan is.... Never mind. I’ll get into when I’ve got a spare few hours to explain. As for our ritual, Cas have you never been to a wedding?”
“Of course I have! I have been sent to bless thousands of unions over the course of... oh.”
“And it didn’t occur to you that your vow sounded a bit familiar?”
“There are millions of rituals,” Cas objected. “I can’t be expected to memorize them all! And they kind of tend to blend together after a while!”
“Ignorance is no excuse,” Peter interjected. “You made a sacred vow before God and all the angels to take Dean Winchester as your husband.”
“But the rings! We didn’t do the rings!” Cas looked like a schoolboy trying to talk his way out of detention. Dean tried not to feel offended.
“You gave him a piece of your Grace. He still wears the mark from that.” Dean’s hand instinctively went to the hand print scar on his arm. “And he gave you his sacred amulet. As Noah said when he couldn’t find two unicorns, ‘that’s close enough.’”
Dean was about to ask if Cas giving the amulet back made them divorced or separated or something when he saw the angel pull something from the pocket of his trench coat. He stared at the necklace. “Cas, I threw that out.”
“I went back for it,” Castiel admitted quietly. “You gave it to me.” He turned to Peter. “I said the words and so I have committed myself. But Dean has sworn no oath to me. You can’t hold him responsible for what I did.”
“Oh, he’s said the words.” The old man leafed through his book. “He’s said them in his dreams loads of times. He’s said a bunch of other things too, although why he wants to see you in a Victoria’s Secret thong is beyond me.” Dean flushed and sputtered, but the two heavenly beings in the room ignored him. “I’ve learned it’s not worthwhile to spend too much time thinking about the ways of humans. That’s just bound to give you an ulcer.”
“Dean dreams about strange things! That’s common knowledge in Heaven. But I refuse to allow his subconscious actions to determine his fate!” Castiel squared off against Saint Peter, glaring fiercely. “I demand you dissolve this marriage! Punish me if you like. Charge me as a breaker of oaths. But set Dean free!”
“No!” Dean shouted out his objection without meaning to. Angrily, he turned on Cas. “Excuse me, honey, but don’t I get any say in whether or not I end up divorced the very same day I find out I’m married?”
Castiel gaped at him. “I don’t understand. I thought you would want this resolved as quickly as possible.”
“Yeah well, you need to talk to me before you go making decisions for us as a couple!” Dean was furious. “That’s what Dr. Phil says!”
Castiel’s mouth fell open. “Dean...do you want to be married to me?”
Dean’s head finally caught up with his mouth. He didn’t know what to say. He’d been crazy about Cas for ages; he knew that. But he’d never got as far as marriage, not even in his most pathetic late-night fantasies. Still, Heaven wasn’t exactly in the habit of throwing good things at him. He couldn’t afford to toss them away when he had them. “I think I would have preferred to go on a few dates first but...yeah. Yeah, Cas. I want to marry you. I love you.” Even with all the potential humiliation and a creepy old man leering at them in the background, it felt good to say it.
“Dean...” Castiel gave the first real, heartfelt smile Dean had ever seen from him. “Do you mean it?”
“Sure.” Dean couldn’t help reaching out to trace that smiling mouth with his index finger. “But it’s not because Heaven says so. I only want it to happen if you want it too.”
Cas grabbed Dean’s hand in both of his. “Dean, I fought archangels for the honor of being the one to raise you from Hell. I defied Heaven for you, and I would have endured an eternity of suffering for defying God’s will to set you free of this union if you that was what you wanted. It would be my honor to marry you.”
“This is all very touching,” Peter interjected. “But totally beside the point. You’re already married. You’re just doing it wrong.”
“We’ll fix that,” Dean promised, not taking his eyes off his husband’s face. “What do we have to do?”
Peter sighed. “Honestly, have you never been to a wedding? You need a kiss. A real smooch. You can’t start a marriage off without one.”
Dean’s heart thudded. After all this time and all these fantasies, he was finally going to get to kiss Castiel. He leaned in closer, shutting his eyes.
“Not like that!” Peter scolded them like they were naughty children. “An official wedding kiss.”
“I’m sorry, Saint Peter.” Cas pulled away from Dean and the hunter groaned inwardly, making a mental note to talk with his husband about never leaving a job half-done. “Tell us how to do it properly.”
“If you’d asked that three years ago, we could all have been doing something more interesting today,” Peter groused. “Anyway, just face each other - oh, you’re already doing that - and listen up. Nitwits, by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you acknowledged spouses. You may kiss.”
“Try and stop us,” Dean growled, before pulling Cas towards him. The first touch of the angel’s mouth against his obliterated the last vestiges of doubt in his mind. Castiel’s lips were warm and soft, parting for Dean’s questing tongue with a quiet sigh. Dean groaned and pulled Cas closer, sliding his hands under his new husband’s trench coat to sneak a squeeze of his bum.
“Hey! I just needed to see the kissing part. Save the rest for the honeymoon, you two!” Peter covered his eyes.
Castiel bowed to the Saint. “I thank you for bringing this matter to our attention. We have been remiss and will seek to rectify that. To that end, is there anything more we must do in order to fulfill our vows?”
Saint Peter snorted and turned to Dean. “Is he for real?”
“Afraid so.”
“Well, it’s your problem now. I’ve got places to be.”
He waved his hands and the church with its ridiculous stone chairs dissolved into a hotel room with a far more comfortable-looking bed. Dean steered Cas towards it; this marriage was long overdue for consummation.
“Dean, wait.” Cas pulled away from him. “Dean, did you just do that to spare me punishment? If so, I’m very grateful but it will be impossible to deceive Heaven for long. If you don’t truly wish to marry me, we would do much better simply to ask Peter for clemency.”
Dean kissed his nose. “Cas, have you heard how important it is for happily married couples to take time to talk?”
“Of course.”
Dean pushed him onto the bed. “This is not one of those times.”
___________
Author:
thinlizzy2Recipiant:
pooka_7Rating: PG-13
Genre and/or Pairing: Dean/Castiel, humor/romance
Spoilers: Let's say to the end of Season 5, to be safe.
Warnings: Angel on man kisses
Word Count: 2568
Author’s Note: Written for the
ficexchange_mix first challenge. Thanks so much to peachpai for the beta job - you rock!Summary: The prompt pretty much sums it up! He gripped Dean tight and raised him from Perdition, and accidentally married him. I went with "Shmangst" for the theme; so Cas angsts and Dean shmoops.
“I really must apologize,” Castiel said again.
Dean decided if he said that one more time then, broken hand or not, he was going to sock the angel in the jaw. “Dude, I get that. I got that the first twenty times. What I don’t get is what you’re apologizing for. Care to enlighten me?”
“To be entirely honest with you, I’m not completely certain myself. I received word from Heaven that we were not entirely fulfilling our covenant, and then I was ordered here. I agreed to their summons, but I didn’t realize they would insist on your presence too. Dean, I really must—”
“Don’t,” Dean warned him. “Just don’t.” He sat down heavily on one of the ornate, unbelievably uncomfortable stone chairs. Normally, he would love to find himself in the middle of nowhere with Cas. Fuck, it was the stuff embarrassingly loud dreams were made of. But his dreams tended to involve a lot more nudity and a lot less apologizing.
Castiel stopped pacing and knelt in front of the hunter’s chair. “I want you to know that I intend to accept full responsibility. However we have failed Heaven, the negligence was mine and I will bear the brunt of the punishment for it. If I can help it, you will not come to harm here.”
Dean’s head hurt. There were just too many questions crowding into his brain all at once. He decided to try and simplify things a bit. “Where is here, anyway?”
“I don’t understand.”
“You said I won’t come to harm here. Great, I appreciate that. But where is here?”
Castiel looked around them. “Church. We are in Church.”
That much was obvious. “What church?”
“It doesn’t have a name. It is an amalgamation of all the great churches, all the masterpieces erected in the name of God. Saint Peter likes to meet with the living here.”
Wonderful, more questions. “And who’s Peter?”
“Saint Peter. He is responsible for the Book of Judgment, the records of the sins and virtues of every soul. That is why we have been called here, Dean. It appears we have been sinning.”
In spite of the apparent seriousness of the situation, Dean snorted. Okay, him maybe. But Cas? Sin? Since fucking when?
“This is serious!” Castiel’s brows drew together in frustration. “To deny a covenant is a mortal sin, Dean. Even to be accused of it shames me deeply. But no matter how hard I try, I can not think of how we might have failed. It’s a mystery.”
“Okay, this covenant. Let’s focus on that for a while. What is it?”
“I gripped you tightly,” Castiel reminded him. “I raised you from Perdition.”
“Yeah, I know. Thanks. I definitely owe you a beer. But what’s that got to do with a covenant?”
Cas hit him with such a perfect bitch face that Dean wondered if he’d been secretly taking lessons from Sam. It was actually kind of adorable, but now wasn’t the time to think about that. “Angels are not permitted to just go taking whatever souls from Hell that they like and then abandoning them on Earth. When I agreed to raise you, I was charged with watching over you, with guiding and protecting you.”
“Oh.” Dean hadn’t known that, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. He certainly didn’t mind the idea of Cas looking out for him. In fact, it made his stomach feel warm in a way that reminded him a bit of the first bite of hot apple pie. But Cas only standing by him because Heaven said he had to? That felt wrong.
Oblivious, Castiel continued. “But I’ve been doing all that, so I don’t understand where we’ve gone wrong.”
“That’s because you have a limited mind.” Both the angel and the hunter turned to see an old, white-haired man dressed in flowing robes entering the church, carrying a thick book. “It’s to be expected, however. What can one fairly ask of an angel who’s only three thousand years old?”
“Listen you Lord of the Rings reject--” Dean began.
Castiel cut him off with a sharp elbow to the side. “I apologize, Saint Peter. Dean has many excellent qualities, but respect for authority is not among them.”
The old man clucked his tongue. “For better or for worse, Castiel. That’s what you swore. You shouldn’t even need reminding of that, yet here I am.”
“I assure you, I remember every word of the vow I made!” Cas looked like he was on the verge of panic. “It was the most sacred oath I have ever sworn! ‘I, Castiel, Angel of the Lord, do solemnly swear to cleave to Dean Winchester, to love, honor and cherish him, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and ... what?” He broke off as he noticed Dean gaping at him.
“Dude, the rest of that doesn’t go ‘until death do we part’ by any chance, does it?”
“Of course not!” Castiel seemed befuddled. “I’m responsible for your soul long after your death, Dean.”
“It doesn’t need the death part,” the old man informed them. “It’s equally valid without it.” He wagged a finger at Castiel. “And you’re still fully responsible for completing the ritual.”
Dean needed to take some control of the situation. “Listen, Gandalf—”
“It’s Peter.”
“Whatever. Is this the usual vow you people make when you’re about to yoink someone out of Hell?”
“Well, no,” the Saint admitted. “We don’t do it very often, but we do have a different ritual for retrieving souls which we usually use when the occasion arises. However, God decided to make a change in your case, and it is not for the likes of you to question his great and omnipotent will.”
“Yeah, well, the likes of me is questioning it. Why did you make the change for Cas and me?”
For the first time, Peter looked uncomfortable. “I believe God had set his sights on a young lady who is known to be partial to homoerotic romance stories.”
“God’s girlfriend is a slash fan?” Dean threw himself down on the uncomfortable chair, wincing as a bunch of stone grapes jabbed him in the ass. “Oh, that’s just perfect!”
“I don’t understand.” Castiel regarded both of them with confusion. “What is a slash fan? And what was wrong with our ritual?”
“A slash fan is.... Never mind. I’ll get into when I’ve got a spare few hours to explain. As for our ritual, Cas have you never been to a wedding?”
“Of course I have! I have been sent to bless thousands of unions over the course of... oh.”
“And it didn’t occur to you that your vow sounded a bit familiar?”
“There are millions of rituals,” Cas objected. “I can’t be expected to memorize them all! And they kind of tend to blend together after a while!”
“Ignorance is no excuse,” Peter interjected. “You made a sacred vow before God and all the angels to take Dean Winchester as your husband.”
“But the rings! We didn’t do the rings!” Cas looked like a schoolboy trying to talk his way out of detention. Dean tried not to feel offended.
“You gave him a piece of your Grace. He still wears the mark from that.” Dean’s hand instinctively went to the hand print scar on his arm. “And he gave you his sacred amulet. As Noah said when he couldn’t find two unicorns, ‘that’s close enough.’”
Dean was about to ask if Cas giving the amulet back made them divorced or separated or something when he saw the angel pull something from the pocket of his trench coat. He stared at the necklace. “Cas, I threw that out.”
“I went back for it,” Castiel admitted quietly. “You gave it to me.” He turned to Peter. “I said the words and so I have committed myself. But Dean has sworn no oath to me. You can’t hold him responsible for what I did.”
“Oh, he’s said the words.” The old man leafed through his book. “He’s said them in his dreams loads of times. He’s said a bunch of other things too, although why he wants to see you in a Victoria’s Secret thong is beyond me.” Dean flushed and sputtered, but the two heavenly beings in the room ignored him. “I’ve learned it’s not worthwhile to spend too much time thinking about the ways of humans. That’s just bound to give you an ulcer.”
“Dean dreams about strange things! That’s common knowledge in Heaven. But I refuse to allow his subconscious actions to determine his fate!” Castiel squared off against Saint Peter, glaring fiercely. “I demand you dissolve this marriage! Punish me if you like. Charge me as a breaker of oaths. But set Dean free!”
“No!” Dean shouted out his objection without meaning to. Angrily, he turned on Cas. “Excuse me, honey, but don’t I get any say in whether or not I end up divorced the very same day I find out I’m married?”
Castiel gaped at him. “I don’t understand. I thought you would want this resolved as quickly as possible.”
“Yeah well, you need to talk to me before you go making decisions for us as a couple!” Dean was furious. “That’s what Dr. Phil says!”
Castiel’s mouth fell open. “Dean...do you want to be married to me?”
Dean’s head finally caught up with his mouth. He didn’t know what to say. He’d been crazy about Cas for ages; he knew that. But he’d never got as far as marriage, not even in his most pathetic late-night fantasies. Still, Heaven wasn’t exactly in the habit of throwing good things at him. He couldn’t afford to toss them away when he had them. “I think I would have preferred to go on a few dates first but...yeah. Yeah, Cas. I want to marry you. I love you.” Even with all the potential humiliation and a creepy old man leering at them in the background, it felt good to say it.
“Dean...” Castiel gave the first real, heartfelt smile Dean had ever seen from him. “Do you mean it?”
“Sure.” Dean couldn’t help reaching out to trace that smiling mouth with his index finger. “But it’s not because Heaven says so. I only want it to happen if you want it too.”
Cas grabbed Dean’s hand in both of his. “Dean, I fought archangels for the honor of being the one to raise you from Hell. I defied Heaven for you, and I would have endured an eternity of suffering for defying God’s will to set you free of this union if you that was what you wanted. It would be my honor to marry you.”
“This is all very touching,” Peter interjected. “But totally beside the point. You’re already married. You’re just doing it wrong.”
“We’ll fix that,” Dean promised, not taking his eyes off his husband’s face. “What do we have to do?”
Peter sighed. “Honestly, have you never been to a wedding? You need a kiss. A real smooch. You can’t start a marriage off without one.”
Dean’s heart thudded. After all this time and all these fantasies, he was finally going to get to kiss Castiel. He leaned in closer, shutting his eyes.
“Not like that!” Peter scolded them like they were naughty children. “An official wedding kiss.”
“I’m sorry, Saint Peter.” Cas pulled away from Dean and the hunter groaned inwardly, making a mental note to talk with his husband about never leaving a job half-done. “Tell us how to do it properly.”
“If you’d asked that three years ago, we could all have been doing something more interesting today,” Peter groused. “Anyway, just face each other - oh, you’re already doing that - and listen up. Nitwits, by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you acknowledged spouses. You may kiss.”
“Try and stop us,” Dean growled, before pulling Cas towards him. The first touch of the angel’s mouth against his obliterated the last vestiges of doubt in his mind. Castiel’s lips were warm and soft, parting for Dean’s questing tongue with a quiet sigh. Dean groaned and pulled Cas closer, sliding his hands under his new husband’s trench coat to sneak a squeeze of his bum.
“Hey! I just needed to see the kissing part. Save the rest for the honeymoon, you two!” Peter covered his eyes.
Castiel bowed to the Saint. “I thank you for bringing this matter to our attention. We have been remiss and will seek to rectify that. To that end, is there anything more we must do in order to fulfill our vows?”
Saint Peter snorted and turned to Dean. “Is he for real?”
“Afraid so.”
“Well, it’s your problem now. I’ve got places to be.”
He waved his hands and the church with its ridiculous stone chairs dissolved into a hotel room with a far more comfortable-looking bed. Dean steered Cas towards it; this marriage was long overdue for consummation.
“Dean, wait.” Cas pulled away from him. “Dean, did you just do that to spare me punishment? If so, I’m very grateful but it will be impossible to deceive Heaven for long. If you don’t truly wish to marry me, we would do much better simply to ask Peter for clemency.”
Dean kissed his nose. “Cas, have you heard how important it is for happily married couples to take time to talk?”
“Of course.”
Dean pushed him onto the bed. “This is not one of those times.”
___________
