| Making Up For Lost Time |
[Sep. 25th, 2005|12:20 am]
Honorary Gay Man
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| [ | Tags | | | ron | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Elton John--Your Song | ] |
Ron--
Well, we made it to New Jersey...just in time too. Jim (my friend, who's sick) was released from the hospital because he's refusing to do the chemo any more. He says he's tired of fighting and he's ready for whatever's next. That makes me really sad...for me, but I understand what he means...I guess.
When Tony was really sick...and I mean REALLY sick, he felt like he just couldn't do it any more and he was "ready." They always use that word, "ready." Maybe one day I'll be "ready" to let these people go from my lives. Right now I'm not.
So Jim had this big party. He said it was sorta like a birthday party, only he was celebrating his entire life, not just the past year. I really admire the way he's handling all of this. I haven't heard him complain once.
::Sigh:: I just wish I had spent more time with him. We all get wrapped up in our own lives and forget about the people who helped us become who we are now. I've known Jim forever...since college...he never got married...he never found the right girl for him I guess. That always made me sad...that he never got to feel what I've felt. I think everyone diserves to feel love like I have at least once in their lives.
But, anyway, it's late. Ty and I are going over to Jim's tomorrow for lunch and to watch a movie or two. He doesn't have much longer...I want to make up for lost time.
--Ron |
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| How We Met |
[Sep. 3rd, 2005|11:23 pm]
Honorary Gay Man
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| [ | Tags | | | ron | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Three Dog Night--Black and White | ] |
Ron--
The past few days have been very odd indeed. For one, Ty and I just found out that his father was gay and was having an affiar with a man while with his mother. Huh? Yeah. Then we find out that his dad (his name's Peter btw) didn't die of cancer like his mom told him and his sisters...but he had AIDS. Goodness.
It's all a bit messed up right now at the Cambell house. Ty's been walking around in a fog and I'm just not sure what to say to him.
Today was a bit different though. Ty, Ka and myself drove over to Salem (where Jack lives--Jack = Peter's lover) and met up with Jack and went antiqueing. It was a lot of fun actually. Ty and Ka had a chance to hang out while Jack and I had a chance to talk one on one.
It's funny...I've never noticed what I miss by not talking to people my own age. Then I meet Jack and it's like a whole new way of talking opened up. He could relate to things that no one else I talk to (lately anyway--I do have friends my own age in my hometown...) seems to be able to do.
We talked a lot today over lunch about the AIDS crises back in the '80s. We both lived through it and managed to survive. But we each lost someone very important to us in it. I lost many people, actually. Too many to think about really. Jack really only lost Peter. But that's enough. As much as Ka and Daniel at the time went through what I was going through when I lost Tony, they didn't know really how I felt. Jack does 'cause he lost Peter the same way. And then Ty tries to understand, but he never lost anyone to AIDS (well, his father...but we just found that out...). It's a bit complicated.
Jack and I also talked about what it's like for me to be with someone so much younger than myself. He was so interested in it. So I told him the whole story of how we met. Have I told that story on here? Well, I will now:
I was working at Tony's (that's the resturant Tony and I opened a long time ago now) and I was being real "hands on" with everything 'cause I was still getting over losing Tony. I became a workaholic 'cause when I stoped working I was just completly devistated.
Well, one day this kid comes in. He was only 20 at the time (God! So young!) and I had to check his ID, which of course said he was under 21, so I couldn't serve him at the bar...and we talked a little. And I thought nothing of it. That is until he came in again, and again. And he kept sitting in my section which was near the bar. I thought it was kind of odd.
Then one night we were closing and this kid was still sitting there. He was all alone, it was a Saturday night, I thought it was strange. So I sat down across from him and said, "Shouldn't you be out partying?"
And he said, "I hate partying." I don't really remember the rest of the conversation...but something just struck a cord with me. I couldn't put my finger on it at the time. Probably 'cause I didn't want to. He had opened me up. Not in what I was telling him, but in how I was feeling. I hadn't met anyone new lately at that point. And I hadn't really talked to anyone that I did know. I was really shut off, but when I met Ty I was instantly able to talk to him.
He continued comeing by and we continued to talk. Then one night he asked if I wanted to go out somewhere, grab some coffee. I actually turned him down. It just didn't seem right to me for a 45 year old man to go out with a 20 year old boy. But he was so damn persistant! So, I caved in and we had coffee like three nights in a row.
And as they say the rest is history! I could go on forever about Ty and our first few weeks together. They were so scary and so...what's the word...careful. I didn't want to do anything 'cause I was afraid I would be robbing the craddle. And on top of that I felt that I was being disloyal to Tony (even though he'd been gone nearly 2 1/2 years by then). But Ty was so pationt with me. So...sweet. He brought me out of my shell. He was (and is) so much older than he seems...in a good way of course.
He's the love of my life. He saved me from a time when I was emotionaly dead. I couldn't have pulled through that time without him. I mean, before we got romanticly involved we were friends for a while. And he pulled me out of my shell, like I said. I was able to open up to him about my feelings about Tony and how I felt dead inside. I couldn't do that with Ka or Daniel 'cause they knew him too, and they lived (at the time) so far away.
Okay...I've gone on enough. I'm tired, and my sweetness is waiting for me in the bedroom....
--Ron |
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| Can't Help It |
[Jun. 29th, 2005|08:32 pm]
Honorary Gay Man
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| [ | Tags | | | ron | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cynical | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | David Gray--Sail Away | ] |
Ron--
So I'm sure you all want to know how retirement is going. Well I'd really like to know too :O/ I've been "retired" for, I guess it's been a little over a week, and I'm still doing so much 'cause the guy I put in charge calls me all the time with questions. I guess that's normal for a transition period, but it's still annoying. And I know I should have never given him my cell phone number!
Anyway, Daniel called today. I didn't talk to him much 'cause...well, basically I didn't want to. I gave the phone to Ty after about a minute...I have nothing to say to him really. You don't treat a person the way Daniel treated Ka. And so I'd just rather not speak to him right now.
Ty says I shouldn't choose sides...and maybe he's right...but I feels so strongly about this I just can't help it.
--Ron |
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| Evil Stares...It Could Be Worse |
[Jun. 24th, 2005|11:26 pm]
Honorary Gay Man
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| [ | Tags | | | ron | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Elton John--Lies | ] |
Ron--
Went to Bed Bath and Beyond today with Ty. We're looking for new sheets for our bed. How exciting. But while we were there Ty reached over to and held my hand as we were walking around. And of course I held it back, 'cause I just wasn't thinking about anything. You know what I mean? I was just at the store with my baby and it felt natural to hold hands, so we did. No big deal, right?
Well, this woman and her kid were standing near us looking at something. Well, the kid (who was like 7 or something) was stairing at me and Ty, no problem...kids stair at lots of stuff. So I did what I normally do when I see a kid, I waved at him and said "hi". Well, the mom heard me and turned around to see what was going on and imediatly grabed her kids hand and walked (quickly) in the other direction.
Who knows, she could have just not liked the fact that some stranger was waving and talking to her son, but I have a feeling that it had to do with the fact that I was holding another man's hand.
It's just annoying that people are still that closed minded. But I'm not going to go on and on about how wrong the world is. I'm old enough to know that the world has infact changed a lot. Just the fact that we didn't get thrown out of the store, or shot at or something is saying something. So I'm just going to leave it at she was just a closed minded idiot. The end.
--Ron |
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| Drama |
[Jun. 16th, 2005|09:39 pm]
Honorary Gay Man
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| [ | Tags | | | ron | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Harry Chapin--There Only Was One Choice | ] |
Ron--
I never wanted all this drama in my life. Honestly. I thought that with Ka moving in things would be easier. I don't know why I thought that. I mean, when we lived apart I only had to deal with me and Ty issues. And only occasonally I had to deal with Ka. Like when it was real important or he was really stressed out. The point is that I didn't have to deal with him 24/7 like I do now.
Maybe things will get better once Daniel moves out. Although some how I doubt it. Daniel just causes drama. I mean, if he knew he was going to leave again, why did he come back in the first place? He's really on my shit list right now too. I mean, Ka's my friend and you don't treat my friends the way Daniel's been treating Ka. All this yo-yo crap.
I know I shouldn't take sides since they're both my friends, but I've just lost a lot of respect for Daniel. First he leaves Ka. Then he has an affair with some guy. Then he comes back for Ka. Then he leaves him again. I just don't get it.
In other news I've decided to semi-retire. The reason? I just can't do it all any more. I get home from Artie's so tired I just go straight to bed...which isn't that bad of an idea since I don't get home till real late some nights. But I hardly get to see Ty any more. These past few weeks we've seen a lot of each other since he was sick, but that wasn't really quaility time. It was mostly him sleeping and me literally "seeing" him. He seems to be doing a lot better lately though. All that rest did him some good I guess.
But back to my retireing. I just have to find someone who can take over the day to day operations...someone I can trust. I'm still going to be the owner and everything...I just don't want to be head chef and manager any more. All three of those titles are just too much. I already know who's going to be head chef. It's going to be Lenny. He's a great guy with lots of experience and he helped me a lot with the menu at the beginning of this whole thing.
Well, I guess that's all for now. I'm going to make the announcment at the staff meeting on Monday...tomorrow I'm pulling Lenny aside and giving him the good news.
--Ron |
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| Busy, Busy, Busy |
[Jun. 4th, 2005|11:55 pm]
Honorary Gay Man
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| [ | Tags | | | ron | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  loved | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Bob Dylan--Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands | ] |
Ron--
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been running around like a chicken with its head cut off lately. Between running Artie's, taking care of Ty and getting ready for Ka's son to come visit I've been going crazy.
But today was nice. Ty was feeling a lot better and the four of us all were home at the same time right around lunch time, so we all decided to go out and get Chinese food. It was so good. And it was nice to hang out, the four of us. We haven't really done that that much since Ka and Daniel moved in. We kind of take it forgranted that we all live under the same roof.
Come to think of it...Daniel and I haven't hung out one on one since he got back together with Ka. Actually, we didn't hang out one on one while they were split up either. Honestly I guess I'm still kind of ticked at him for treating Ka the way he did. I mean, one of the things I always loved about their relationship was the way the communicated with each other, and then what killed it for six months? A lack of communication. It just didn't make any sense. I would have thought that they had discussed children before they got real seriouse...although I guess it makes sense that they didn't. I mean, in a gay relationship...espesolly one between two men...it's rare that the subject comes up. I don't know. It just was like this big boiling pot that no one was paying any attention to, and then it finally boiled over and everyone was like, "how did that happen?" It was really quite silly.
Well, I'm rambling on about nothing of any importance to me now...so I think I'm going to go curl up in bed with my baby.
--Ron |
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| Fun With Closets |
[May. 30th, 2005|01:59 pm]
Honorary Gay Man
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| [ | Tags | | | ron | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | worried | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Journey--Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin' | ] |
Ron--
So I decided to take the day off since I put in so much work yesterday. I own Artie's...so I've got the right! Besides, Ty's not feeling so good, so I figured I should stay home in case I need to take him to the hospital or something. He said he'd go tomorrow if he still didn't feel well, but not today 'cause it'll be overly crowed since it's Memorial day and they'll be a bunch of people there with firework wounds. He's got a point, I guess. He doesn't have a fevor or anything...he just doesn't feel well. Could be anything I guess.
Well, I finnished cleaning out and reorginzing the storage closet. That was fun...hardly. I think I woke Daniel up in the process...but I don't really care since he kept me up the other night. The closet looks real nice now...you can actually walk in it!
Ka told me that his son and his wife and their kid are all coming to visit in a few weeks. Which is cool and all, but I know he (Ka) will expect me to cook. Which is fine too, I guess...I love to cook. But I just don't know what to cook. Oh the delema! Ha, if that's the biggest thing I have to worry about I'd be a happy camper. One night we'll have to take them to Artie's I'm guessing. I'll finally get a good opinion on the kids menu!
--Ron |
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| Didn't Sleep a Wink |
[May. 29th, 2005|10:19 am]
Honorary Gay Man
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| [ | Tags | | | ron | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Queen- Keep Yourself Alive | ] |
Ron--
Didn't sleep a wink last night. Between Ka and Daniel downstairs and my arthitis it just wasn't happening. Damn I sound old. Hell, I am old. I'm 51 for crying out loud. And now Ty's telling me I'm getting a little thin up top if you know what I mean. I can't lose my hair! I love my hair :-( I guess most people do...but still.
Well, it's memorial day weekend so Artie's is going to be packed (I hope!) So I should get going and see how the crew is doing.
--Ron |
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