Not sure if I need content notes - it is what it says on the tin.

I watched The Six Triple Eight a couple of days ago, a drama about the first US black women battalion participating in WWII. I liked it because I am predictably sentimental but this post is not a film review. I was blown away by a tiny detail about daily lives:

During training orientation, the major in charge tells cadets about army expectations. It includes access to tampons and an expectation to use them. I haven't looked it up so I am assuming here that this point was not a mistake and is not controversial. Tampons. Mid 1940s. Racism. Segregation. War. And they had a reliable supply of tampons!

Do you know when Soviet women got tampons? In the 1990s. First menstrual pads? 1980s. Horribly designed, you had to stick them to underwear with safety pins. And that's IF you could even get them.
Svetlana Alexievich in her oral history of Soviet women in the Great War paints a particularly painful picture, because even rags were a deficit, needed for wound care. But even through the later decades of stability, women* in the great land of victorious communism, the land that was first to send a man to space, were using rags, and if lucky - etamine and cotton wool.

[*I don't know if transgender history of these times exists. Realistically, knowing how Soviet Union treated anything it saw as a deviation from social norms, most people probably never transitioned.]

I am an early Millennial. I had my first period sometime AFTER the Soviet Union broke down. I lived in Moscow, but as was common practice, I was spending summers with my grandparents in a very rural area. Decent period products became available in cities in the early 90s - but not yet in rural areas. Those first couple of months, I had to stuff my underwear with etamine and cotton wool, and wash it all out by hand. Oh, because the village did not have running water either. I had to walk to the well with buckets every day. And it was the kind of wooden well you find in historical illustrations these days - with a chain that you had to manually lower down and up.

Whenever people on the left wax poetic about communism, I am grateful to see others jump in with more accurate historical facts. But I am realizing very few people know about this aspect of it. How communism was literally fucking bloody in its treatment of what is considered basic essential dignity.

Haven't read this article because it's quite long, but a glance, it appears to be a great in-depth anthropological account:
Vasilyev, P. & Konovalova, A., (2023) “Changing Menstrual Habits in Late 20th- and Early 21st-Century Russia”, Open Library of Humanities 9(1).
doi: https://doi.org/10.16995/olh.6352
https://olh.openlibhums.org/article/id/6352

P.S. I originally wrote cotton pads but it was actually cotton wool, sold in kind of large rolls. Cotton pads also arrived in the 90s.
We have a cat water bowl upstairs. As cats spend 90% of time downstairs, I don't think it is used as often as the main floor one. With that plus my ADHD, I do not remember to change it daily either.

A couple of times, The Bold Kitty followed me upstairs, went into the room and meowed, somewhat near the bowl. If I changed the water, he would start drinking. But I wasn’t sure that this was a fully intentional communication.

Yesterday he did it again, and I decided to test it by talking to him rather than immediately changing the water. He first meowed from the middle of the room. Then he sat in front of the bowl, looked at me and meowed. I kept asking him what he wanted. Then he batted the bowl with a paw while looking at me with clear frustration, and made a very emphatic meow. I finally changed the water and he immediately started drinking.

Feels like we just stumbled into a new frontier in inter-species communication and got a fascinating insight into cats’ cognitive abilities. Also feels like while I am very impressed with his intelligence, his view of mine is far less flattering.

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Nov. 27th, 2023 06:54 am
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Prigozhin

Jun. 24th, 2023 12:44 pm
Russian history has had it's share of dramatic events.

But the last not even 24 hours have to count as the most bizarre. What the fuck was that?

(I think BBC generally has free coverage: https://www.bbc.com/news/live/world-europe-66006142)
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If you or someone you know could use points, please tell me. Last year I had no takers so it's not like I got overwhelmed with demand.

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There is an incredible image of Mara being shared on Tumblr

So why - instead of being grateful that it is shared at all? - I am discombobulated that a Slavic deity seems to be described as solely Ukrainian? I mean, the Mara version of the name is indeed Ukrainian. Other versions do have somewhat different names:
Marzanna (in Polish), Morė (in Lithuanian), Marena (in Russian), Mara (in Ukrainian), Morana (in Czech, Slovene and Serbo-Croatian), Morena (in Slovak and Macedonian) or Mora (in Bulgarian) is a pagan Slavic goddess associated with seasonal rites based on the idea of death and rebirth of nature.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morana_(goddess)

Yet the legend is shared.

Does anybody have reading recommendations (or other information sources) for good contemporary perspectives on making sense of dreams?

Someone in my circles is having vivid uncomfortable dreams after starting on ADHD stimulant for a first time. And would like to try and make sense of their content, if at all possible.

That's an area I know nothing about so I promised to ask around.
Both my half-brother and cousin managed to leave Russia and are now in Georgia. Half-brother escaped last week, and my cousin just yesterday. Russian folklore has already renamed "mobilization" into "mo-grave-ization" (in Russian, it sounds better because it is a change of a single letter).

Meanwhile, BBC and Washington Post report increased press gang activity last week:Read more... )

The combination of personal relief for your own family with overall sense of nightmarish despair is surreal.
More on Russian mobilization, speculation, personal, and brief mentions of reality and humor related to state and physical violence.

Read more... )
Personal stakes are fascinating. Especially when one looks at them in a kind of dissociative way.

When Russia first attacked Ukraine in 2022, I was glued to the news. Then, as time went, I had to find some balance. I was also aware that I was paying far more attention to this particular conflict - because it was so much more connected to my own heritage and to some people I know - than to many others conflicts, either recent or still unfolding, also with terrible suffering and loss of life.

And now, with Russia announcing partial mobilization today, personal stakes have been upped again. Now - it's my own cousin. Whom I barely talk to. It's my own half-brother - whom, due to earlier estrangement from my birth-father, when we only reconnected a couple of years ago - I have met once in my entire life and I haven't even talked to in months. They are not even in the first line to be mobilized! They could be grabbed down the road if this continues..
And yet. And yet.
The emotions are all up again. The focus. The time and energy.

It's almost ironic, the disconnect between overall values - and what we do and feel once it becomes personal.
If one truly follows values, what does it matter? How do I care more about these two specific young men -- whom I am not even that close to! -- and who are not even in the direct line of fire yet (merely down the road... they can be sent to die down the road...) -- than about hundreds and thousands who are dying, or mourning their dead in the rest of this horrible war, right now? Or in Myanmar or in Tigray or in Yemen?

And I know that's how human brain operates. Caring about the personal is our basic programming. Which is why we suck so badly at long-term systemic changes. Yet there is something utterly fascinating and dismaying about observing it in the moment like this.
The "immigrant women only" family dinner (we try to have those occasionally) had a side of very interesting inter-generational (influences? the word trauma is becoming applied to everything?) discussion. Apparently, all of us hide and minimize pain, even if it is a glaring obvious injury. Me, my cousin, my mom, my aunt - among those present, and I know that grandmother did too when she was alive. And the reason I find it interesting is that overall, the narrative - and even most of the reality - of our family environment is that it was one of support, connection, and love.

Read more... )

Life...

Aug. 29th, 2022 08:02 am
Interestingly, in my family, I am probably the one one who often frustrates others.

Case in point, I started asking my cousin in the middle of her celebratory dinner when she would update paperwork, now that she is a Permanent Resident. Meanwhile, cousin just started a new job and is moving at the end of this month. Mid-sentence, I realized that I was saying "you should do this asap!" and tried to switch to "well, I know you have lots on your plate so when do you think you could get to it?"

The truly great thing about it all was everybody's reaction.

Cousin's girlfriend, often shy and somewhat withdrawn, started laughing uproariously at my mid-sentence tactical reversal. And felt comfortable enough to explain to the rest of the table what they may have missed. Cousin, maintaining eye contact, calmly took a sip of wine and said conversationally "Has anybody told you that you have control issues?". Then she took another sip and added "Relax, I will get to it the week after my move".  

However, I am also the person that everybody delegates their immigration paperwork to; as well as a whole bunch of other important coordination. Because my family knows that my anxious perfectionism gets things done and done thoroughly. So we have a balance where I get things done but as a trade-off, it also means I occasionally get onto everybody's nerves. 

*********
And several days after, on the week of her move, cousin sprains her ankle. And someone who was supposed to be helping with move breaks their toe. And as we are sitting in cousin's apartment before taking her to a doctor (to rule out a fracture), my aunt trips over the dog and hurts her arm bad enough to still be using a brace. Meanwhile, I happen to have both an arm brace for the needed arm and an airboot for my cousin due to my own previous injuries.

If I saw all that on TV, I'd think the episode was badly written: Too many coincidences.
P.S. Everyone is reasonably well now, and the move is completed.
Life has many things.

It has little gardening joys. I am slowly getting more native blooms in the garden. The lawn grass is now half-overtaken by clover, which is so wonderfully soft to walk on. Although apparently, there is some new invasive yellow clover now among the more native white one, and I should try to get rid of it. I finally had enough sour cherries for a small yet real harvest. Unfortunately, I must have forgotten just how sour they really are to eat and how long it takes to pit them for cooking. The small plantation of wild strawberries has spread marvelously, but did not produce a single berry all summer.

It has big joys and triumphs. My cousin's application for Permanent Residence has been approved. It's been 5 years in the making, with ups and downs. And it's awesome timing because she just started a new job and her current permit was going to expire in October - she applied for extension and had all reasons to expect it, but you just never know.

It has a lot of despairing confusion about the state of many things in the world, and I don't even want to do there.
I am subscribed to several newsletters about good things in the world too, and they help.

And life has very good kitties who happily swallow pills hidden in a pill pocket - which, apparently, is very lucky. The bashful drama cat - the one that runs and hides if you try to wipe something off his fur - even comes to me in the kitchen and waits for his pill as a treat.
https://whatyourcatwants.com/survey-says-cat-owners-have-a-hard-time-medicating-their-cats
"Around 40% of participants rated pills and capsules as difficult to administer, with almost 9% rating pills as “impossible” to give. Over 70% of owners also reported that their cat would refuse food with medication in it."
The mock orange is blooming. In post-Soviet countries, this shrub is actually called "jasmine" for its amazing scent and a cascade of white flowers.

Both my grandparents had it in their dachas, one - an alley of ancient shrubs tall enough to form an arch overhead, the other - a small half-circle around outside sitting area, planted the first year of their retirement. Since then, every time we moved to a new place with any semblance of a yard, we have been planting mock oranges. At one point when mom was debating the state of her current relationship, she said "I am tired of having to plant new ones!", referring to being tired of moving.

North America has a cultural focus on houses versus apartments, where everyone wants a house. I didn't really care for a house - but I did dream of a yard through my decade of apartment living. And of course, I planted a mock orange the very first summer in our house. It is now 7 years old and thriving. Last summer, I timed grandmother's stay with us to its bloom. I have photos of her curled in a chair with a book, next to its white expanse. This year, it is blooming without her.

Partner's family has a cottage in rural Quebec. Last year, I planted a mock orange there too. It's only 2 feet tall and kind of struggling in sandy soil. Amazingly, when we were able to visit earlier this year, it was also blooming.

Cats...

Jun. 28th, 2022 07:01 am
I will probably eventually put together a PSA post about cats food sensitivity / IBD / lymphoma spectrum. In the meantime, I can just say: Neither cat owners, nor regular veterinarians, know enough about it.

Regular vets understand the trifecta of symptoms - weight loss, vomiting, diarrhea - and would definitely act competently on that trifecta. But without weight loss, you are likely to get completely inconsistent patch work attention. Chronic symptoms in veterinary is defined as a symptom that lasts 30 days. My cats had chronic symptoms for over 2 years (!) before they finally got a proper referral, most likely because of lack of weight loss... It's a fascinating parallel with the way chronic illnesses in humans can be under-diagnosed and under-treated as well...

If you have one gastro-intestinal symptom - that persists over 30 days - get on it, and insist on systematic attention to eliminating causes and investigating. If it is not resolved, you need to look into the food sensitivity / IBD / lymphoma continuum, and at the very least, experiment with food elimination trials. This way, you have a cost-effective and good chance of getting chronic inflammation under control before it develops into intestinal lymphoma.

We should still reasonably expect 2 years of good happy life. One, if we are unlucky - and over three if we are really lucky.
In my quest to get information from multiple sources, I signed up for a Live Journal of someone in Donetsk: A pro-Russian military person. Judging by the content, he has been handling military supplies for separatists - and as much as an amateur like me could determine, judging by the level of detail and swear words toward the Russian higher ups, seems like a real deal. This is a guy who believes the war is fully necessary and they are indeed freeing Ukraine from neo-fascists.

And oh my god, look at what he is writing! This is the most sincere and damning indictment of the Russian military authority I have ever seen. Well, and bad news for peace negotiations because he basically said straight up that people like him would not respect a new ceasefire.

The most recent post is very illuminating about the disconnect between Russian command and what happens on the ground:
Read more... )
Partner and I are are re-watching Deep Space Nine.
The Cardassia vs Bajor storylines, the questions raised by the Maquis developments - all of those are hitting on a completely different level.

And just got the to the line of "Because what you can control, can't hurt you" regarding the Dominion's formation and politics. Well, that's basically paraphrasing Russia's justification for wanting to control Ukraine and "self-defense" through invasion...
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Some selections from the monthly top of anekdot.ru

-- For the first time since 1991, Russian Members of Parliament would have to live, vacation, and obtain medical services in the very conditions they have been creating all these years.

-- Covid-19 is recalling its variants and stopping its work in Russia.

-- All those who couldn’t learn English before, rejoice! You don’t need to any longer.
And a similar one:
-- Feeling unwanted? Imagine how those in Russia who major in international relations are now feeling.

-- To comply with the new laws, Tolstoy’s “War and Peace” has been re-named into “Special Military Operation and Treason”.

-- It would have been much cheaper to simply evacuate all Russian speaking residents of Donbas and buy them all apartments in Moscow.

-- Dear Santa Claus, when I asked for a more interesting year - this is not what I meant!!!

-- It is important to remember that when it comes to weapons, they can only be of mass destruction - and not of mass victory.

In the meantime, checking LiveJournal discussions led me to blogs of 2 military people who have been living and fighting in Donbas during the 2014-2015 conflict. The Russian separatists. A military commander and a military doctor. Both blogs have been steadily active since early 2000s. One is still in Lugansk, and has been a part of the pro-Russian army all this time. So he has been at war with Ukraine for 8 years. The other, I am not sure - all recent posts have been analytical, and it seems like he may no longer be active military.

None has any good words for Russian command, politicians, or oligarchs. They documented multiple times how command incompetence cost Russian lives on the ground.

Both are fully and completely certain that they have been fighting fascists in Ukraine and that if it weren't for the war now, Ukraine would have attacked Russia several years later, using European and USA arms supplies.

There is too much there and I am not sure I would have the time and focus to understand their conviction. Also not sure what I am even trying to do. Am I trying to understand what grains of truths may be fueling the fog? How perspectives get formed? Polarization? Proportionality and its distortions - ok, accepting Donbas had mutual abuses - still does not justify a full-scale invasion of a sovereign country? A guideline for accountability, so that eye for eye and fire for fire stops somewhere? Is it mostly an illusion of purpose, whereas my reading is better explained by ADHD compulsion, inability to look away?
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