totchipanda

TOO EXCITED ALL WEEKEND TO SLEEP. Monday I set alarms for like 2:30 and 2:45 so that I would have enough to putter for a bit before picking up M and getting to the airport. Once there, a shuttle driver cut us off and said "don't walk! Get in!" and gave us a paper to remember where we parked. Easy peasy getting through security, we had lots of time to get a drink and snack.

Security and customs in City 2, where my local friends were a couple dozen people behind us. We had just enough time to eat and caffeinate again before we boarded for NYC. I napped for a bit. Arrived a little bit early thanks to good airstream, but the plane sat for a good 10 minutes because it was so early.

We figured out the train situation and took the subway into Manhattan. Spent several minutes trying to orient ourselves. Luckily the hotel was not far from the station, and we got settled in a teeny room with bunk beds and a private bath. It worked. We said often, we weren't there to visit the hotel.

Dinner at Bubba Gump's in Times Square, which one member of the party confidently started walking, 10-15 feet ahead of us, and took us too far out of the way. Then we were all super tired and went to bed.

It wasn't cold, hovering around freezing, but at night the wind would pick up and it was BRUTAL. We enjoyed watching some people clearing snow from the side of a road by shoveling it into said road.

TUESDAY
Our party got up at different times so we did our own things for the day. M and I walked to a Bagel Pub (fantastic!), then to Empire State Building, where we spent 90 mins or so touring the upper floor and outdoor portion. It was rather peaceful up so high, and offered great views of all sides. Personally I loved how much older architecture was there, how purpose-built even an 86 storey building was when it went up.

Back on the ground, we tootled up to Bryant Park and then the public library, which was BEAUTIFUL. Not much of the actual library we could see, the book rooms were largely closed off for research use. But they did have a nice gallery of collection items to view, including the OG Winnie the Pooh toys!

We went back to the hotel to drop off our small purchases before heading to the show. We unfortunately got hangry and left later than we wanted, especially since the other half of the party was still out and about (they went to the Museum of Modern Art) and we had all the tickets. Snagged a burger and ate it while we walked, because there were 8 million people in the shop and nobody knew what they wanted, or did but were waiting for a member of their party to confirm, and they weren't answering. HANGRY RAWR. Too peopley in that state, so we peaced out.

But we made it ahead of our friends before the doors opened. It's so different being in a theatre that has a dedicated show vs one that is adaptable to many. The lobby was maybe 8 feet wide and then we were in the theatre. The seats were small, but also larger than our season seats at our newer theatre in town. Usually M and I are touching, and for this show we weren't. We were about 6 rows back and y'all. I need a separate section to wax poetic about this. The show (Hadestown) was SO GOOD. M's local friend snagged us a spot at stage door, where only two cast members came out. Then the five of went to the local friend's favourite post-show bar, Hold Fast, which is run by a Canadian lol. We ended up staying out past 1 am. It was really nice.

WEDNESDAY
Bagels again, but at a slightly closer location that we didn't like as much. It was right in the middle of the garment district, and M had to hold me back a lot bc I sure did not have money or suitcase room for any of the shinies! They were busy, and didn't seem to know what was going on. Then we located a subway station and popped on to go visit the Museum of Natural History. We did not see nearly as much of it as we could have, and we said to ourselves, that is alright. We'll just have to come back another time.

Outside, we stopped for a street pretzel and then walked through Central Park from the side where we entered down to where the "zoo" was (as it was marked on Google Maps). Back to the hotel area where we went for tacos (authentic, and fucking delicious) and our next show, Wicked. We enjoyed it very much! Afterwards, we stopped into a store dedicated to various theatre shows and adjacent things. I found the costume books, including one that I have only ever seen scans from OOOOOOO AAAAAH.

THURSDAY
Met Trick downstairs to get some cash as they decided they wanted a Hadestown t-shirt but were leaving for Katsucon shortly after. Once M and I got going, we went back to the first Bagel Pub for our final breakfast there, and then hit the train line to go to Brooklyn to see the bridges. Fantastic views, the sun was out and it was warm in it (although still windy and bitter). Back in town, we went to the Strand bookstore and then Joe's Pizza nearby, which was delicious. In the city, we went into Grand Central to stare at the ceiling for awhile before going back to the hotel to charge phones and de-people for a hot minute.

I saw Hadestown again while M went to the show across the street. She did not get to see the principal cast member she wanted to see, but she ended up loving both the show and the understudy. Same experience at my stage door as on Tuesday, so I went to join hers to take photos for her. We chatted a bit with one of M's friends who'd flown in from the UK to see these shows, and then took ourselves out for a snack. We thought we'd just hang around as we wanted to see the displays in Times Square switch over to art for three minutes at 11:57. It was hard though, because the wind was the worst of the whole trip!

FRIDAY
We checked out around 10 and they were AWESOME about storing our luggage for a couple hours while we finished our trip at the Museum of Broadway. It was neat because the beginning and end took you through the stair wells and backstage areas of an actual theatre. Of course I loved all the costumes and it was SO HARD not to touch one of the Hamilton jackets that was on display. (It looked like wool. I wanted to touch.) Stopped off at Dunkins for our very last NYC meal, picked up our luggage and headed to the airport. We were rather early, but that gave us time to get through security and find our gate and rest for a bit before getting a pre-5-hour-flight meal. Coming home was tougher, much more peopley. We were both so overstimulated and so done with all the travel. Couldn't we just stay? Alas. I missed the turn off coming into the city and took a detour before dropping M off, and I got home just after 2 am.

Amazing trip. Over the course of the 5 days, we did 73k steps, saw 10 landmarks, ate 5 of the 6 things we wanted to eat, and within 48 hours we felt right at home. I even started to learn the language of all the honking drivers did. We are definitely going back, hopefully October 2027!

TIME TO START PANICKING. Haha JK, I've been panicking since last week. I was telling a friend that I am just an anxious traveler, I worry about the car breaking down, is there going to be airport delays, will something explode??? I think the trip itself will be fine.

I did decide that 2 weeks was too early to start packing, so there's that.

Came home Friday to a flooded bathroom again, damnit. It was mainly in the hallway, soaking through the carpet. Ugh! Put down towels and walked away. All I could smell all weekend was the mustiness of the soaked items, it almost smelled like cat pee.

Saturday we went to IKEA and I picked up the lamp that I wanted to help illuminate my sewing desk. Then we went to Sally Beauty so I could pick up hair dye, and Walmart for M to get toilet paper. The dye + developer was a new brand than the one I've been using, so I was a little concerned about the colour being uneven but went ahead with it. On Sunday I dyed my hair and it came out perfectly!

I planned, in September, to make a couple pieces for my regular wardrobe that would work for a closet cosplay of Orpheus. I then did not touch my sewing machine for 4 months. (I still haven't.) The show is NEXT WEEK and I haven't even started. Yesterday I made a concentrated effort to clean the veggies off my table, wipe it down, cut the paper pattern out, and then start to lay out the wool. The directions have you lay out the fabric full width, which I did not do. Calcifer started to "help" by holding it down, so I stepped away to think about my life choices. Do I have a large enough space to lay out 60" x 4 yards of wool fully? Not really, but it would be the most economical. It's also an itchier type, so would I need to line it to protect my delicate skin? With what? SIGH the week before a trip is not the time to be making these decisions. I also haven't washed it so there's that too. It is awaiting my attention. And now my counter is covered in veggies so I better do something with those too.

I also finished knitting a hat. I don't know where the faux fur pompom to go on it is though. I bought that AGES ago.

That's it, that's all I did this weekend.

The 100 day project starts on February 22, and heck yeah I'm fired up about it! (As fired up as I can be, more than a month out lol) I saw the email this morning and immediately started thinking about what I could do. First thought was sewing: finish up the silk sack dress I started however many years ago (fabric purchased 2017). Whatever else. Maybe a whole wardrobe from the skin out, all by hand? Then I thought, I have cross-stitch projects wot need finishing. The purpose is just to make time for creativity. One needle of thread at a time eventually creates a whole project, you know?

I have only finished my journal up to the week that I'm gone. I'm trying to decide if my "cover page" (which spans the opened book) should be the whole trip, including daily journaling, or if it should be the overview and then spread the rest of it out on the next pages. I don't plan to take it with me (extra weight and space that I could use to bring back souvenirs!) so it would all be post-trip anyway. I've already stuck down some stickers and written some lists in pen, and boxed out the spaces in pencil. I think I can keep it simple enough for the two pages.

Then I'm back for one week and the project begins! Doing cross-stitch also means I can have everything prepared and ready to go (who am I kidding, it's already prepared and ready to go). One page will be enough, and then I can bump weeks back a little, which would be perfect for setting up March. Alright, I think I have a plan!

Dance class tonight or else I'd start on all this right the heck now!

Nice quiet weekend. Saturday was a bit of a bust. Couldn't donate blood, my iron was too low. Popped down to the bookstore for the slutty hockey books, but they only had one, so I walked out empty handed. Went to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription, where there were 6 people in line and it took awhile to get anything done. "It might be awhile," she said. That's ok, I was busy playing a game and immersing myself in slutty hockey. Finally got that, decided to head to the store since it was RIGHT THERE. FINALLY got home feeling like I'd accomplished nothing.

My prescription was for the treatment ahead of getting an IUD. I knew it was a needle injection. I did not know I would be handed the product and sent on my way. It took me a full 24 hours to work myself up to it, but I did it on Sunday afternoon. It has a pretty strict 28-day schedule and if I didn't do it before I went to bed last night, it would have to wait until this upcoming weekend because I am on vacation in 28 days! It was so scary. I forget sometimes that most needles don't hurt the way blood needles do lol. Next up I need to book my other medical shit (fasting blood tests and a mammogram). I have a half day that I need to use up before I go away.

Yesterday I made myself a list of chores I wanted to do, and then crushed it in a little over an hour! So proud of me! I cleaned the litter box, scrubbed the toilet, changed my sheets (with PLENTY of help from Calcifer), swept out the tub (from tracked cat litter and hair), and finally showered. After lunch and stabbing myself, I sewed a whopping 5 seams on the project bag I had prepared.

Took long naps on both days and still managed to get to sleep at a reasonable time.

Made another pot of white chili (sans chicken this time) and oh man, it is SO GOOD. I had 2 bowls.

Spent a lot of time with my silly games. Kinda wish I'd been more proactive with crafting, but still had a lovely break of peace and quiet. I moved the Roku so I could watch slutty hockey on the big TV and enjoyed that too.

December 30: went to Safeway after work for dairy products, including a carton of milk. Made the most delicious and silky cheese sauce to go on baked potatoes with broccoli. YUMMMMMMM.

December 31: Insomniaaaaa. Woke up at 3 and couldn't get back to sleep until like 6-something. I'd cancelled the alarm and set a different one, plus a timer. Heckin exhausted.

Body decided HI HELLO ELEVATORS OF BLOOD between 7:00 and 7:26 am. and I said FINE I GUESS it's a short day and I'm off tomorrow so I can deal with this nonsense at home.

Napped, finished watching the fourth round of Heated Rivalry, watched more emergency services shows, actually stayed up until 12:30 (mostly playing my silly games)

January 1: slept until 8 am, aahhhh so nice. Laid about until 930 or so, got up because coffee does not happen in bed when you live alone. Played silly games for a bit and then said NO. Put this DOWN. I picked up a knitting project instead, which tried my patience. Napped. Played more silly games. Did not sew like I said I was going to because Calcifer elected to nap in my lap pretty much the entire day, and then after the sun went down it seemed too dark around the machine to do it. Note to self: get a lamp for the sewing desk.

Body said :3 and didn't give me any trouble at all until like 11pm and even that was minor. What?

Slept midnight-ish until.... 2 am. Fuck me sideways, this is ridiculous. I had a little snoozle but it was again closer to 630 when I did it and I had set the alarm and timer again. And it's a full day today. I am so so so tired.

Body is still going :3 so far. I don't know what to make of this, I have been utterly disgustingly regular for like 31 years. ETA: i posted this, went to get coffee, and then had to go empty the disc and change the backup pad because I didn't f'n know it was needed already when I had next to NOTHING yesterday. AHAHAHA.

Maybe a more coherent post later when my brain is a little more active. Coffee time.

After work on the 24th, I went to the store to pick up some things for the coming days. I'd pre-shopped online and of course went there at probably the busiest time of day, but WOW I've never seen so many confused shoppers in my life lol. Shout out to the people making a phone call while staring at gravy packets. And extra shout out to the staff working, not only did they have all the confused people to contend with, but it was snowing buckets so by the time they got to leave, the roads would have been just awful.

M and I floated the idea of perhaps seeing a movie, but quickly decided not to. We got about 6-8" of snow, thick fluffy stuff, and I didn't feel it was worth risking anything to go.

Heading to my aunt's on Thursday, I first had to brush off the aforementioned snow, and the temp had dropped so I wasn't sure the car would start, but it did, and I got out ok, and enough people had travelled to make sure the road was at least semi-visible. I went straight to the gas station because I had 66 km in my tank, and nothing beats a full tank for extra weight. Dinner was lovely, turkey and mashed 'taters and sweet potatoes with pecan topping, and biscuits. Dessert was apple and pumpkin pies (everyone had apple, I went straight for pumpkin) and whipped cream. I worked on my mittens.

Stayed home Friday and Saturday (rescheduling my blood donation appt, as my body was gearing up for period starting (I think today? Soon?)). Yesterday, our friends cancelled the visit as on Friday, we got ANOTHER 6" of snow and he was working overtime clearing it, and their niece who'd been staying during the week gave them her cold. You know what, that's fine, we appreciate people who DON'T share their germs with all and sundry (stares at my boss). So we went to see the movie instead.

It was Five Nights at Freddy's 2, which I was seeing ONLY because one of the actors from Shadow and Bone was in it. My crush on him died in October and this was the first time I'd seen him in something since. It actually went ok emotionally, he was it for like 15 minutes, and I know absolutely nothing about the franchise besides horror video game, killer animatronics?? IDEK. It also wasn't as scary as I thought it might be, and I got to nom on popcorn. Win.

Still on my Heated Rivalry bullshit. I watched the finale back to back on Christmas evening, and have been deep in my feels for those two idiots ever since. Otherwise watched the last of my crime investigation series and then discovered two more seasons of my ambulance show. Which.. I can't remember if I finished it before leaving for the movie. Once I got home I started watching HR again lol.

Finished knitting the mittens and made good inroads on the dishes situation. Spent a lot of time under the cats. Ate yummy foods and drank yummy drinks. Lovely little "vacation".

Weekend of not leaving the house: success! Except for a brief stint outside at the sheltered back door to retrieve my veggie box, I did not set even a hair outside my door. I also rewatched the slutty hockey show (again), finished a knitting project and worked on my journal. Woohoo completed my to-do list!

After finishing the knitting project, I pulled out as much of my sock yarns over the past two years as I could find to make more tiny socks. The kittens were especially underfoot so I didn't get too deep into the bins to find a couple of the missing ones. I also didn't start knitting any of the tiny socks. I was so satisfied with finishing the project that I decided to pull out another one that had been sitting uncompleted for a REALLY LONG TIME. I'd started it when I was still in my little office, but I've been out of there since April so I really have no idea how long it's actually been. It should be a quick one, now that I've started.

Mostly just played silly phone games while watching tv. It was a lovely weekend of snuggling with the kitties.

Also, drop your favourite recipes using jalapenos in the comments, I got SIX with my grocery box and this white girl doesn't know what to do with them!

Health stuff: ( Stupid internal organs and the value of communication )

Tried to finish a library book last night but it wasn't especially good, so I will be returning it today, on it's due date after renewing it 2x and still not reading it. Ah well. I will take it out again at some point, don't think I'm going to spend money on it.

Making myself a "bingo" list of things to do in the next year, and googled "bucket list" ideas. Why are so many of them travel focused, and why are those really unobtainable things for the average Joe?? Like no, I am not going to go to Tanzania and Crete in the same year, holy smokes. There are so many local things I can see and do. I have to keep budget in mind too, and consider a lot of things that I can do for free or semi-inexpensively.

I don't want to set goals like... I don't even know. Goals seem so much more energetic than I ever have the will to do. Internet ideas at a glance are not helpful, they are definitely more energy and things I don't care to spend my time on. My lists currently contain things like "unfuck your habitat" and "organize knitting supplies" and "go for a walk". Even that feels like a lot.

I will be dedicating entire pages to sewing and knitting before I get into my monthly stickers. This is a slow process but given its the first time I'm doing something like this, so far it's going alright!

Payday tomorrow. I am very excited to be able to get groceries or take-out whenever I like and not be worrying about a payment I might have missed. It's coming up on the first anniversary of this debt insolvency and while I'm in a better position overall*, I still gotta figure out this "don't end the month with not enough $$ for cheese". (I already bought cheese, don't worry.)

*I did purchase that flight to NYC, and I also have $100 in cash for that trip set aside that I could have used to at least stay fed. There is no way I could have managed that pre-insolvency.

As recently as this weekend, I had anxiety surrounding the trip. Every time I thought of it, I would feel the knot bloom in my chest. I want to pay attention that knot, because I have had more than one trip in the past where I had a similar feeling, ignored it, and suffered the consequences. I talked about it with my therapist, and she asked some probing questions like, is it just because of travelling (yes, that is a given, I get anxious surrounding road trips to the next city), is it something else, what? I didn't have answers then, and I don't have answers now. But starting this week, it hasn't been so large or so urgent. I'm still keeping an eye on it.

Yesterday was a "nap, snack, and sleep" kinda night. We'll see what happens tonight.