OK. First of all, EVERYBODY was wearing black, or black and white. And it took me hours to figure out how to watch the Red Carpet arrivals and then to find out where the f**k to watch the award show to begin with! And I didn't like the Red Carpet arrivals. I actually almost hurled listening to all the ass kissing! Anyway, Mama's been a little under the weather lately, so this post may be a little late.
So, let's get started.
Teyana Taylor looking like a beautiful bad ass. Beautiful makeup, Beautiful HAIR! Grade: A+
Ariana Grande. OK, bear with me. Ariana looks like a 12-year-old. And she really needs to change the shape of her brows. They're too short and straight across and leave her looking quizzical and confused. She also needs more eyeliner on the bottom and the interior eyelid. Trust me, she'd look a thousand percent better. Now for the gown. HATED IT. Grade: D-
Nikki Glaser, the evening's hostess. I don't particularly find this chick funny, but whatever. She looks quite beautiful in this soft pink gown. Grade: A+
Priyanka Chopra. Mmmmm ... not feeling this one. Maybe she'll do better at the Oscars. Grade: C-
Jennifer Garner. Looking perfectly lovely. Grade: B+
Jennifer Lopez channeling Abbe Lane in her Vegas residency opening for Xavier Cugat. Grade: F-
Lisa, channeling Vampira with tassels. Grade: D-
Alicia Silverstone. Hair and makeup are great; however, the lower portion of this dress looks a little cheap. Grade: C.
Don't know this fella's name, but I LIKE IT! Grade: A+
Don't know her name, but I think girlfriend put this on backwards. Hun, you're supposed to wait until AFTER you're dressed to get high. Grade: F
Forgive Mama, I don't know who a lot of these newer stars are. But I am really feeling this casual and truly cool look. Grade: A+
This is a wrinkly periwinkle mess of a dress. Grade: D
I think boyfriend was at the wrong awards ceremony. He needed to be at the Country Music Awards with this Hank Williams, Jr. look. Grade: D
Joe Jonas looking quite adorable. Grade: A.
Robin Wright. LAIDIES, LADIES, LADIES! How many times do I have to tell you! A lady of a certain age should ALWAYS cover up skinny, scrawny, wrinkly arms! The dress is ok, but unfortunately, I have to give her a Grade: C.
Whoever she is, she is looking every inch the Princess. Grade: A.
Proof that choosing a color is everything. This color does not work whatsoever! In any other color this might have been beautiful. Grade: F.
I don't know who this is, but he seriously needs a better tailor! OMG! Those pants! Too big and too short at the same time! Grade: F-
White Lotus actor also channeling Hank Williams, Jr. Grade: C.
Amy Pohler. A perfect example of when EVERYTHING is wrong. The blouse is too big, and
the pants are too long. Grade: F-
Timothy Chalamet. Apparently, he's 30, but he doesn't look a day over 17. Not feeling his look. Grade: D-
Miley Cyrus. This is a mess. Lose the sunglasses, lose the dress and start all over. Grade: Double F-.
Amal. Better half of George Clooney. I guess it's okay. Grade: B.
Emma Stone. PERFECTION! That's all. Grade: AAA+++
Amanda Seyfrid. Gorgeous in this grecian styled frock. Wish she didn't have that curl in her hair, but other than that, this is a winner! Grade: A.
Jesse Buckley. So, if you were going to a wedding in 1963, THIS would be the dress! However, if you're going to the Golden Globes in 2026, it is definitely a Glamour DON'T.
Pamela Anderson looking quite pretty, however, the sleeves are too long, even if you were going with an oversized long sleeve look. Blouse does not fit at all, and she's wearing too much white. Grade: D.
Timothy Chalamet. Apparently, he's 30, but he doesn't look a day over 17. Not feeling his look. Grade: D-
Miley Cyrus. This is a mess. Lose the sunglasses, lose the dress and start all over. Grade: Double F-.
Amal. Better half of George Clooney. I guess it's okay. Grade: B.
Emma Stone. PERFECTION! That's all. Grade: AAA+++
Amanda Seyfrid. Gorgeous in this grecian styled frock. Wish she didn't have that curl in her hair, but other than that, this is a winner! Grade: A.
Pamela Anderson looking quite pretty, however, the sleeves are too long, even if you were going with an oversized long sleeve look. Blouse does not fit at all, and she's wearing too much white. Grade: D.
Jacob Elordi. A beautiful hunk of man who also turned in one of the most poignant performances this year as the Monster in Frankenstein. Grade: A
Elle Fanning. This was beautiful on camera, so sparkly! Grade: A
It's like a Tiffany lamp, but I like it! Grade: A.
Michael B. Jordan. Unfortunately, for this hunk of burnin' love, he's dressed like he's going to a business meeting instead of as a Golden Globe nominee. Jacket does not fit properly, shirt is the wrong color. Overall - Grade: F
Actor who played Bruce Springsteen looking quite dapper. Grade: A.
Park Posey went retro and wore her prom dress from 1982. All that's missing is the parasol. Grade: F-
The Best Director winner of Hamnet. O.M.G. An unfinished, ill-fitting, wrinkly mess in a horrible color and jeez, would a little makeup hurt? And a nice blow out? Would have make a huge difference. Grade: F-
She looks great. However, I find McCauley Culkin the least sexy man on the planet.
Benicio del Toro. LOVE HIM! Looking quite dapper. Grade: A
Lesley Mann. Honey, you had no need of those white gloves. Your arms are white enough. However, the dress is nice. Grade: B.
Gorge! I want those tits! Grade: A.
Charlie Hunnan. DYING! WHAT A MAN! Grade: A
Jenna Ortega arrived in Wednesday Adams character. This is a horrible mess. Hair - bad, hair- bad, everything BAD! Grade: F-
Rose Byrne - PERFECTION! Grade: A.
Emily Blunt! SHEER PERFECTION! WINNER WINNER WINNER! Grade A+++
Zoe Deutsch! Perfection! I LOVE IT! Grade: AAA+++
Olandria Carthen. Um, does this gal have any internal organs?
Jan Ravnik! Who is this yummy man?! Grade: SEXEEEEE!
Maura Higgins is channeling a 1960's vibe and I'm loving it! Love the hair, love the makeup, love it all. Grade: A+++
WINNER WINNER WINNER!
Well, that's it for this year. If I missed any of your favorites, feel free to comment. Until Oscars time ...
