Perfect postscript

This may be a "tree falling in the forest" situation. Don't know if anyone is still out there. But I can't resist closing the door on this blog with -- at long last -- very (!) good news. And I can't resist the symmetry of the situation: Four years to the day after I started this blog, we went to court and adopted our son. He's been home three weeks now. He's absolutely perfect in every way. And we feel like the luckiest moms in the world, despite the fact that we gave the term "long-awaited" a pretty serious workout. Happy, happy. Joy, joy. Beside ourselves. Over the moon. In heaven. Pick a superlative, and we're feeling it. Can barely believe it.

P.S. Over the years, and especially since I stopped blogging, I found many of you in the real world and/or in the real-ish world of FB. This was very good for me. I like you and I like knowing the whole person, not just the one-note world of (in)fertility blogging. If you want to find me that way (Inloco? Merr? Any of the old crew?), please send me a note to jencas20009 at gmail etc.

Thinking of you, too

A couple of you fabulous ladies have recently left a comment on an old post, just saying you are thinking of me. So appreciated! And I'm thinking of you, too. And hoping you are all well. Even if I'm not blogging. Big hugs & lots of seasonal love. We're hanging in there. xoxoxoxox

Puppy dog eyes

For Melody, who said she couldn't see the pup's eyes in that last photo. And because it allows me to post gratuitous cuteness and bask in your "oh, she's so adorable" comments. (I'm insufferable, I know. Wait 'til I have a kid.)

Eyes:

Lookin' right at you:

For the waiting mothers and the puppy moms, too

The impending holiday has me very blue this year. I'm quite sure that if I searched my archives, I'd find that I thought last year's Mother's Day would be the last one I'd have without a child. Wash, rinse, repeat. Surely this year is the last childless Mother's Day, right?

C.alifornia ForCRYingOutloudBANK sent me an an email today. I shit you not, this was the text of the email: "It is our honor to take part in your journey, and our commitment includes supporting you through this process from beginning to end. We recently noticed that you have stopped shipping vials and hope that this means that wonderful things are on the horizon." C'mon. They *specialize* in infertility (or, at least in making money off of it) and they can't be more sensitive than to not send out something like that two days before Mother's Day? Hello. I think I'm going to take a brave page out of Cali's book and write them a letter.

I was out walking the dog this morning. And we were practicing "sit and stay" on the sidewalk. And a woman stopped to tell me how cute the puppy is. (She's right, of course!) And then as she was walking away, the sweet puppy did her trick perfectly and the woman said, "Happy Mother's Day!" to me. And I was so grateful. It was totally sincere. From one dog lover to another. She couldn't know how much I ache to be the other kind of mother. But it was really sweet, nonetheless. That is the first time in my life a stranger has thought of me as a mother, even of a puppy.

Oh, you guys, please let this end soon.

P.S. Said cuteness:

Swimming!

So, for all 2 of you dear readers who still check this nearly-abandoned blog (!!), we have some good news. Yes, good news. Wonder if blogger's head might explode. What, good news Chez Two Chicks? It can't be! But it is .... Just got an email from our social worker. Our homestudy is officially complete, we're approved, and now in the "pool of waiting families" at our agency. Average wait time from this point forward is one year. Please send some "short wait" vibes out to the universe for us! Thanks! xoxoox

Mirror

This same thing happened to me in early February and I didn't blog about it because I didn't have the strength. Have been praying like hell it wouldn't go down this way for my friend. Please go give tbean & S your love and say a prayer for the maybe one that remains.

Cliff notes?

I'm participating I want to participate in Eva's Adoption Book Club. This month, I read was supposed to read The Blind Side by Michael Lewis. I just couldn't get past the football storyline. Ooops. I don't like football and I don't understand football. I sort of tried, really I did. But I was so confused by the first few pages. It was all about linebackers and blocking and sacking. And tackles who are nouns, not verbs. So ... we rented the movie. (Such a cheat! I'm sorry, Eva!)

I was suspicious of the movie, I have to admit. Suspicious of its treatment of race, and class, and adoption. Afraid that it was going to make me cringe. But the low expectations paid off. As in, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I mean, it was still all about the white woman and her family swooping in to save the disadvantaged black kid. But it was handled better than I thought it was going to be. At the moment in the film when Mrs. Tuohy (Sandra Bullock) goes to meet Michael's birth mom, I was gritting my teeth, totally afraid of how that would play out, but it was acted with more grace than I expected and was less stereotypical than I feared. And in the end, the story got me right where it was designed to, and I cried.

I didn't feel like it was an "adoption story" in some ways. Since Michael (at least in the film) was on the cusp of adulthood when he joined the Tuohy family. But I guess I should stretch my definition of "adoption" a bit. I liked that Michael's agency in the whole decision/process was addressed. It was clear that he chose to stay with the Tuohy family, just as they chose him. (Despite the age/class/power/wealth imbalances which had to have affected his decision-making power.)

The film paid lip service to racism and resistance from the Tuohy's community to their choice to adopt Michael. The whole football-league-investigating-the-Tuohy's-motives thing really threw me for a loop, as it seemed pretty "out there," but I guess it was real. I am a little concerned about the image of adoption that was projected and how the exceptionalism of Michael's circumstances (i.e. how many high school football stars make it in the big leagues?) was tied to his experience as an adoptee. You know, if the white family hadn't found him, he wouldn't have gone on to be a famous professional black athlete. But that's Hollywood, I guess. And in the end, the film grabbed my heartstrings.

So that's my (cheater's) attempt to answer some of Eva's questions. Next time, I promise to do the homework and read the book!