Perfect Timing

Two days after my birthday, my last remaining grandparent, my dad's mother passed away.  She fell on my birthday and I had a feeling that this it.  We got word on Sunday as we were driving to church that she passed away.

My wonderful mother in law went home on Monday to pick up a few things and came back the next day to help with the kids so I could fly out for the funeral.  Clay had a test on Monday to throw into the mix too.

I flew out to Denver on Wednesday (half the cost of flying into Salt Lake) where I was picked up by my sister.  She and I and her two children drove out to Salt Lake the next day.  The viewing was Friday night and funeral on Saturday.

Sunday I was able to go to Sacrament Meeting in our ward in West Valley.  I miss that ward.  It was so nice to be greeted by so many smiling faces.  After church, we had to head back to Colorado since there was a storm coming in that night and all day the next day.

Tuesday morning I flew out to come back home.  There was a big storm coming through the south again.  It's been a COLD, wet winter here.  So my flight kept getting delayed from my layover in Charlotte, NC.  I barely made it into the Knoxville airport--I think we were the last flight into the airport at night.  It was about 1 1/2 hours later than I had planned and we finally got there about 7:00 that night.  Clay and the kids all surprised me with signs at the airport.  It was a long drive home through lots of snow.  And we luckily got another snow day the next day to catch up on sleep.

And of course in perfect timing to take over that weekend so Clay could study for his next test the next Monday.  I'm grateful that it was the perfect timing so that I could go between tests.

A couple of weekends ago, we also made a quick trip to Georgia to attend Clay's cousin's funeral.  Again, good timing as that Clay took a test that Friday morning before we left for the funeral that night.

As for me, I'm struggling again.  I read a quote that goes something like depression, anxiety, etc. are not weaknesses, it's a sign that you've been strong too long.  I guess I've been strong too long.  I'm ready for a break.

Being Perfect!

Did you know that 40 is the perfect number?  40 is the only number whose letters are in alphabetical order.  Perfect.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about being perfect.  I was really struggling and wondering if I was making a difference in this world.  I realized I was getting pretty selfish and I needed to find a way to get over that.  I have a wonderful friend, an old roommate, who posted on Facebook about a 30 day challenge she did before her birthday in December.  She did all kinds of amazing things as random acts of kindness to help other people and I felt like that was something I needed to work on.  I needed to do more than serve my family by doing 20 loads of laundry a week.

My resources and time are pretty tight (husband in medical school with 6 children) so I challenged myself to pray to receive the inspiration of what He wanted me to do to help someone each day.  I knew he realized my limitations and weaknesses and what I needed to work on more than I do.  I wanted to do this 40 challenge perfectly.  Somedays at the beginning were hard and I wondered if I was doing it "perfect" (I think the last day was the hardest for me).  When I started, I had so many ideas of what I thought I would do but soon realized that planning it all out wasn't the point.  I wanted to experience the process, not just the end product of having a list to check off.

We all know the scripture, Matthew 5:48--"Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect."  I've always loved that verse but struggled with what it means to be perfect.  Does it mean that you always do things perfectly?

So I learned a few lessons during these 40 days (I'll probably come back to write more later):
*Heavenly Father is MY Heavenly Father (and yours too) and HE NEEDS ME (and you too).
*There is always at least one person in my life who can benefit from me everyday.
*Giving service doesn't require lots of money or time.  (Sure I'd love to go pass out $100 bills on the street but that's not realistic in my life)
*If I pray each morning for the inspiration to know what He needs me to do that day, I will receive it.
*If I pray for help, he will send the help to me.  It may not be who or what I think I need, but He knows me perfectly and knows what I need.
*The more we serve, the more blessed we realize we are and the more blessings we receive.  I have been blessed so much these past weeks in ways I could not have imagined.  From a fellow student families surprising us with gifts and visits to reconnecting with friends from years ago.  I am so perfectly blessed.

So being perfect to me is to be at the perfect place at the perfect time to help in the perfect way or say the perfect thing.  That's perfect.  It doesn't mean I'm a perfect Christian, friend, parent, wife, etc. but I can have perfect moments where my will becomes His will and I can be the perfect servant he needs me to be.  That's perfect.  I hope each day to continue to strive to become more perfect in all that He needs me to do.

As I posted on Facebook, I am so grateful for the opportunity to have lived in so many places and met so many different people from all walks of life.  I continue to be inspired by friends through technology and I love it!  I am grateful for people who inspire me to become more perfect.  He has put the perfect people in my life at the perfect time to teach me the perfect lessons for me to learn.  I know the most amazing people and that is so perfect for me!

I think this is the first birthday I've enjoyed in a long time.  Because it wasn't about me.  I didn't expect anything from anyone.  I enjoyed a quiet dinner with my husband (date night) and then a quiet (as quiet as can be with 6 children) evening with my family.  I enjoyed being me and feeling like I am here for a reason.

And to top it all off, it's been snowing on and off all day.  Perfect day!

Day 40

Well, tomorrow's the big day.  I honestly thought that turning 40 would be tougher.  I've been hoping to write about some of the lessons I've learned but don't seem to make the time yet.  I think I may get a few minutes alone tomorrow while Clay takes the kids shopping after school so I can write then.

Today it seemed like everything I did, I just couldn't find the feeling to do something for someone.  It's been by far the hardest day.  I even drove through the drive through to pay for the person behind me and no one got behind me.  Crazy.

So tonight Clay and I went to a surprise party for a friend who's turning 30 tomorrow.  When the conversation amongst the group I was in, drifted to negative talk about someone, I tried my best to not say anything.  I guess today the best service I could give is to not say anything negative about someone.

And now, I am going to cuddle with Ethan and do myself some service and get to bed on time tonight. :)

Day 39

Today Ethan and I went to a church playgroup that I tried to get started a few months ago.  It's had its moments.  Today I went out of my way to talk to a sister who always seems so upset.  It was a wonderful conversation and I'm glad I was able to talk with her and get to know her a little bit better.

Day 38

Some days get incredibly crazy around here.  Yesterday (Tuesday) was one of those.  I knew my afternoon and evening was going to be lots of running around so I took the time in the morning to finally work on our yearly letter.  I was able to finally get it posted on the blog and the ones to mail addressed.  They went out today!

While we were at speech yesterday, I took the time to visit with a man who I see some days there and also wrote a birthday card to a friend whose birthday is next week.  I am not the best at letter writing but I really want to do better to remember those who have been there for me at different times in my life.  I'm sure she'll be surprised I remembered her birthday.

2013 Update

2013 Update on our family—

We’re a little late but just wanted to let you know the latest on our family.   (Thanks to Christina and Daniel for writing most of this.)

Clay just finished another semester of school.  We’re grateful to have another semester behind us.  One more semester to go before taking his first national board test this summer.   Next fall he will begin his two year clinical rotations.  Clay spent the month of July in Texas attending officer training for the army.  He is currently serving as secretary in the Elder’s Quorum. 

Markell is busy with the kids and trying to keep things going at home.  She is currently serving as a Visiting Teaching Supervisor at church.

Christina is a junior at Cumberland Gap High School.  She was on the girls’ soccer team at high school this past fall and loved it! She also received her Young Women’s Recognition/ Medallion in October and is now busily working on receiving her Honor Bee as well.  She also received two new callings- the first calling was the ward’s Stake Youth Committee Representative for the young women, and the second was the Ward Chorister.  She also turned 16 and was very ready to date and drive!

Daniel is in 7^th grade at J. Frank White Academy.  He is in the Science Olympiad at his school and enjoys it. He has been receiving all A’s.  He turned 12 last year and now holds the Aaronic Priesthood and joined Boy Scouts. He has earned 2 ranks so far in the Scouting program.  He played tennis in the spring and plans on playing soccer this coming spring.

Amanda is in 4^th grade at Ellen Meyers Elementary School.  She has been receiving very good grades as well and has been on the honor roll.  At the end of this school year, she will be graduating from Elementary school and it will be on to Middle school for her!  She danced in a jazz/hip-hop class in the spring and enjoyed it a lot.  She’s excited for her upcoming 10^th birthday next month.

Jonathan is in 2^nd grade at Ellen Meyers Elementary School as well.  He is a part of the Talented and Gifted (TAG) program and is the only one in his entire school!  He enjoys the program which includes him getting pulled out of class once a week and talking to his special teacher and playing some educational games with her as well.  He is very excited to turn 8 in April and be baptized.

Samantha turned 5 and is a Kindergartner at Ellen Meyers Elementary School this year.  She loves going to school and playing with her friends!  She is doing great in school and has improved her speech amazingly well and speaks very fluently now.

Ethan turned 3 this past summer and has been hanging out with Mom at home since everyone else is now in school.  He loves spending the extra time with Mom and is very helpful when it comes to cleaning and picking his toys up.  He loves playing with trains and cars.  He is also growing up way to fast.

Love,

The Staffords

Day 37

Today after school (the kids all finally went back!), I took Daniel for some one on one time to look for new shoes.  I can't believe he wears almost the same size as his dad.  As I was checking out, I noticed the cashier looked like she was having a bad day.  I picked up a package of candy there at the checkout, paid for it and handed it to the cashier telling her to have a nice day.