Mountainshade Holt

Saturday 22/6
First test to see if I can use the tablet as a sort of digital bujo, or at least as a journal! If I can find out how to convert this handwriting into type I'll be golden, but even without that feature I think this can work out quite well! There's no washi tape setting, although I might be able to find something online, but I very much appreciate the ability to undo my mistakes without resorting to whiteout, as well as all the options I get from only one pen. I can at least figure out some nice pen-only layouts, and I can also add pictures, photos and even sound, but no video it looks like. But this is definitely going to be a journal and not a whole bujo, at least not for a while.

Just figured out that there is a text to type converter, so I'm all set! This is so cool...

Sunday 23/6
Somehow it's easier to grab my tablet than a physical journal, probably partly because I don't have to do all the fiddly stuff with pens, tape, and so on. Plus I've got so many other things on the tablet as well, so it's likely already nearby - and in addition it's maybe not lighter but definitely slimmer. Anyway, we'll see how it goes. I'm looking forward to writing fanfic on here too - I just need to think of something to write! That being said, if I work on anything it should be SItV, or any of the other fics I've started in earlier journals. I wonder if I can photo them in here and then do text to type..? Definitely worth a try.

I did that ADHD thing again where I showed sympathy and understanding by relating a similar example from my own experience, but where the person I was talking to most likely a) didn't understand what I wanted to convey, and in fact b) probably thought I was complaining rather than sympathising, while also c) probably ended up thinking I'm a bit self-centered? It was really just a minor thing, but it somehow frustrates me more now that I realise what I'm doing (and why!) and also understand how commonly my natural way of communicating comes across all wrong to a lot of (mostly neurotypical, I guess?) people.

I can't exactly go around with a sign saying I have ADHD, it wouldn't really explain the situation anyway, and trying to explain in person after it's happened is bound to just make everything into a muddle and waste everyone's time, at least at work. Of course, if it ever happens and causes a real problem I'll explain, but it mostly makes me come across as a bit self-centered and air-headed, which I can live with because a) relating the experiences of others to myself as a way of understanding is a self-centered way of doing it (which doesn't mean it's bad) and b) I am, in fact, a bit air-headed (which may also relate to my ADHD now that I think about it, but it's not something I care about).

Speaking of, I have a colleague with ADHD and we just had a 10-minute talk were we interrupted each other enthusicatically several times, kept trying to leave to do stuff, but had to just say one more thing first. We both agreed that it's nice to be able to communicate naturally with someone who understands, haha. I keep thinking of that "clown to clown communication" meme...

Doing small notes has kind of worked, as in that I've been doing them on OneNote but not posting them here. Since posting was arguably part of the reason for doing them in the first place I suddenly realised that it will take about the same amount of effort to write them straight in the DW "Post an Entry" box (why the big E?), and just hit the post button at the end of the day if I've written something. And it'll be easier to copy my notes from DW to OneNote than the other way around, which I'll try to do because I still want to have a dedicated copy of my journal. And once I get a bit more settled at work I may find a few minutes here and there to do the writing, so I don't have to write on my mobile all the time which I still really dislike. Now all I need to do is to add "Did you post?" to my "Did you remember the washing?" evening alarm and I'm all set XD

...and figured I'm way overdue for a post.

In fact, I've wanted to post several things for ages, but I don't really have time during the day and when evening comes all I want to do is relax and turn my brain off with games and Hermitcraft.

However, earlier today I started thinking about time passing and how I can't really trust my brain to remember the good parts I want to keep forever, and since I finally have some peace and quiet I'm taking a little time off from studying to write about what I want to write about :D

First is of course Cascade, who is almost 9 months old! There have been so many ups and downs (mostly ups) already, and this is of course what I first and foremost want to remember for later. I have less than a month left of my parenting leave left now, and although I'm partly looking forward to getting out of the house and back to work, I'm also almost painfully aware that I'll never have this time again and I want to enjoy the rest of it as much as possible. I'm hoping I can do at least monthly posts about her, mostly just to have a place to keep the memories. Giving me a semi-public place to keep a diary is the main point of this journal after all, besides squeeing about fannish stuff of course.

Second is my ADHD, which is now official! It's such a relief, mostly for my own sake (turns out I'm not the problem!), and because I can now talk tools and accommodation with my boss - not to mention knowing where and what to look for to help me manage other parts of my life, as well as getting actual help for that part. I'm trying out Ritalin, and I definitely want to post about that - suffice to say that the inside of my head is a much calmer place right now and even if that's all I get it's kind of amazing.

Third is the other stuff in my life; studies and eventually work, mostly. I had to postpone my last exam essay by a year, and now I'm actually having to do it. It's a lot with a baby at home, but thankfully work is giving me study time this year as well so hopefully I'll have one day a week that I can dedicate to getting it done.

Fourth is the fannish stuff. I'm still consistently about a week behind on Hermitcraft, but I'm managing to watch a lot more Hermits than I probably should - it's kind of the only thing I have time to watch these days, but I can stop whenever I want to, honestly! I've abandoned my poor hermitcraft community for the time being, but thankfully there are a few others who use it and that makes me very happy every time I see it.

I'm also playing a lot of Guild Wars 2, as it's one of the things Broccoli and I can easily do together when Cascade's gone to sleep. We played Vault Hunters for a bit too, and might get back to that later. I also play Honkai Star Rail, The Sims, and Minecraft here and there, and I'm eagerly awaiting any scrap of news regarding the ElfQuest animated series!!!11! I'm sure I can think of a lot more in this category if I ever get posting regularly again, but those are the main ones right now.

I should get back to studying though, I spent a bit too long writing this but I feel so much better now that I have! I need to keep that feeling in mind when I'm sitting down for the evening and feel too tired to do anything - posting when I actually want to is a lot easier than I think. Maybe if I tell myself I only have to write a few sentences it will trick my brain into letting me start? It worked for this post after all :P

I am bound and determined to interact with hermitcraft now that several people are using the comm, and the Community Thursday challenge was the perfect excuse to go comment on some posts. (Snagged via vriddy - "every Thursday, try to make an effort to engage with a community on Dreamwidth, whether that's posting, commenting, promoting, etc. ")

I also ended up going through some of my earliest posts (from 2003! originally on Xanga!) to f-lock them and give them some tags at the same time. I read a comment in passing from someone who locks their posts after a certain time has passed, and I kind of liked that idea. I'll do some of the backlog at least, no random stranger needs to see my angsty poetry and ramblings from my first years of uni.

Past me was definitely less verbose though, and I might pick up again some of the things she did like featured links, quotes and a "Currently reading" update at the end.

...yeah, let's try that.

Currently Reading
Kitty Rocks the House
by Carry Vaughn

Renovations are going well, tomorrow people are coming to put up our new kitchen - or at least the tricky parts like the stove and oven, the actual cupboards and the counters. We can manage the doors and drawers and such on our own, and it's a good bit cheaper that way. :D

Of course on Friday we suddenly realised that the existing water heater is from 1996, and those things apparently have a warranty of 20 years, more like 10 if it's in use. So we had to get a new one, and are crossing our fingers that it won't be a problem for the electrical system that it uses a normal wall socket and not a three-phase one like the old one did. In any case, if it works we'll still be down an outlet, which is a bit annoying.

There's been a lot of little stuff like that, which I guess is not unexpected since it's our first time being houseowners and having to deal with planning and organising renovations. It's still frustrating and stressful, though. Thank the High Ones for our parents! They've all done these kinds of things several times before, in some cases pretty recently.

While Broccoli, his parents, and my dad are working on the physical stuff I've been trying to figure out what we need to get for the nursery, and like always I have a bit of indecision paralysis. Normally that's mostly focused on cost because at least I know which functions I need from furniture, but baby equipment is a whole new kettle of fish. Like, I need to get a small bathtub since we only have a shower, but should I get a changing table with an integrated/detatchable one or is that unneccessary? And there's apparently like a newborn inset too? Do we need that or is it optional? I know I don't want to get a used car seat, but can I take the chance on a used bedside crib? And there seems to be so many options for strollers, I feel lost before I've even started looking. Argh!

The shelves for the living room should be a lot easier to figure out (lots of them, all the way to the ceiling so that we don't have to dust so much), we just need to find time to sit down and look at the IKEA website together. I'm really looking forward to that, because my love of books naturally extends to book shelving.

...at least over on jjhunter's journal!

Today's post is How Are You? (in Haiku), which was a fun little challenge. Go join in if you feel like it!

My answer was obviously somewhat baby focused, as we're in the process of renovating the flat and just finished painting the nursery yesterday:

Our flat is renewed
by loving family hands
waiting for baby

(And yes, I'm attempting a comeback on DW - nobody get their hopes up :P)

I'm still writing in my journal but I haven't had the energy lately to write it up or post anything else either - although I am managing to keep the weekly posts on hermitcraft going, which I count as a success! I may be able to catch up on stuff in a weeks' time, because for once I don't have a lot of grading to do for autumn holiday week! I do have to study though...

I was reminded that it's Hermittober over on tumblr, so I want to get some drabbles in to maybe get my mojo back a bit - I have so much I want to write but I just don't have the energy! So expect some drabbles to pop up during the next few days, probably not here but on the Hermitcraft comm because why not? Eventually something over there might catch someone else's interest XD

Shorter notes this week, thankfully, it's a bit tiresome to write everything down - although my Norwegian to English translating-on-the-fly skills are probably improving.

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Reading my Dracula Daily email and then going into the tumblr tag is one of my favourite things each day right now. The combination of memes, literary critique, squeeing/weeping over the current blorbo (right now it's Lucy), history lessons, shitposts, and fanworks are a sight to behold. Some people know what coming while others don't, which lends a vibe of "sweet summer child" to the whole procedure at times. It's great!

Also, this may be my first ever mobile phone post, huh