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arg. people are telling me to update... fine. there's not much new in my life. i'm still kinda down about the whole personal life thing. more like its absence. it pisses me off, but you know... things never really go my way when i really want them to. so it seems like i'm destined to spend my life alone. oh, well, it gives me more time for myself, and more money for myself, and i dunno. i just won't have to worry about anyone else but myself. but these justifications don't really make anything better. they just kinda make me think it's okay even though it's not. fuck. i wish i could just suddenly turn anti-shy around people and be able to speak my mind. if only there was something that could make that happen, i'd pay money. mad amounts of money. maybe i'll make that pill. i'll be a rich ingenious inventor, and everyone's hero too. *sigh*. or maybe i'll fail out of college and live like a a hobo. you never know.
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