Mario absolutely hated yard work of any sort. He’s always said he hated it because he was “forced” to do it when he was younger. He was also just incredibly lazy when it came to manual...
On Sunday, I drove Robyn to the airport, then immediately went home to clean the place in anticipation of Craig and Donna’s expected arrival the following day. No rest for the wicked! Craig and Donna...
On June 30, 2021, I hit “publish” with equal parts excitement and nerves. Today, I’m hitting it one last time — with a full heart. Keeping my promise to write here each Wednesday created...
It was another 3:33 wake up morning but this one did not bring me a smile. Instead I was greeted with sneezing, coughing, runny nose, headache – and once up and fully awake – ugh, zero energy...
The last two days I’ve been sick and tired, literally. We had a busy Friday and Saturday night, and I thought I was just sore from the weekend. Then I noticed it felt like my skin hurt. That first sign...
I came across an instagram post that talked about why a PET might be the only thing that pulls you forward after a devastating loss (when nothing and nobody else can reach you). It was an amazing post...
Two years ago today, my mom passed in New York while I was enroute to see her from Florida. She’d suffered a stroke three months earlier in November, just seven months after the passing of my father...
I’ve spent the week hanging out with an old friend who I haven’t actually hung out with in person for over 30 years. I think that probably happens to a lot of us though with good friends we...
Robyn arrived in Tucson late last Thursday. I double-parked my car and sat listening to Albert King and his band playing the blues. Robyn’s flight was over one hour late. The airport felt deserted, but...
I went to the movies this afternoon and greeted my friend with, “Happy New Year!” She replied, “And Happy Mardi Gras and Ramadan!” Three big celebrations fall on the same day this...
I never asked, but I think the Facebook post I made on my first widowed Valentine’s Day was the catalyst that led me to writing this blog. Tony died in April of 2021, and I attended my first Camp Widow...
I watched this video James Van Der Beek had posted a couple years ago. He was in his car, and randomly sharing a “revelation” he just had. He had just parked his car in a spot that he had waited for...
On June 30, 2021, I hit “publish” with equal parts excitement and nerves. Today, I’m hitting it one last time — with a full heart. Keeping my promise to write here each Wednesday created...
It was another 3:33 wake up morning but this one did not bring me a smile. Instead I was greeted with sneezing, coughing, runny nose, headache – and once up and fully awake – ugh, zero energy...
I went to the movies this afternoon and greeted my friend with, “Happy New Year!” She replied, “And Happy Mardi Gras and Ramadan!” Three big celebrations fall on the same day this...
V Very proud that you keep putting one foot in front of the other since your person left. A And how, when you fall down, you continue to get up and try again. L Love how bravery shows up for you at unexpected...
Three is most definitely “my” number … or 33 … or 333. Vern, Jeremy and I were a family of three. Vern, Jeremy and I were each 33 years old when our fathers died. After Vern died,...
“Me and you are subject to the blues now and then” And oh boy did the ‘now and then’ arrive. And they were triggered by watching the new ‘Song Sung Blue’ movie. Go figure. I love Neil...
My time at the beach has been exactly what I needed, even though it has not been exactly what I had planned. Now I could easily beat myself up for all I have not done while here at the beach. All I thought...
I try to use the first month of a new year to take a good look at my life … do some deep diving, reviewing, thinking, planning. What’s working well? What do I need to change? What new things do I want...
I’m a 74 year old twice-widowed gal. What’s the point in putting the effort into setting some goals for 2026? I’m just not feeling it at this point. Can I just plug along with this new alone life,...
My team at work kicks off the week with a quick meeting almost every Monday morning. It’s a quick 15-minute call where we cover the highlights of the upcoming week and who has a birthday or anniversary...
What’s next for me? Mystery of seasons shows edge of winter waking; another turning. Before its return rising sun pauses unseen; as Life asks for more. A new year begs a plan. What’s...
Well, actually the first day of 2026 found me waking up at 6am in my brother’s home in Tennessee. So I wasn’t alone at the very start of this new year – instead I was ending a lovely time with...
Robyn arrived in Tucson late last Thursday. I double-parked my car and sat listening to Albert King and his band playing the blues. Robyn’s flight was over one hour late. The airport felt deserted, but...
Robyn arrives in Tucson late tonight. In advance of her arrival, I just had my place professionally cleaned, but it didn’t do much good with Lola the pup close at hand. I will have to clean up...
While watching tv I saw an ad for a sitcom about marriage. They were making a joke about how long after death they had to wait to find a new partner. He told her she had to wait half the time they were...
Yesterday, I facilitated a parol making workshop for a large group of Filipinos, some I have known since I was a child. Parols are a traditional, Philippine lantern displayed during the holiday season,...
I remember clearly the first time I met Lynn’s parents and family… the anxiety, apprehension, excitements, all the things. Also, it was the first time we traveled on a plane together (from California...
I had brunch in the Castro in San Francisco today with two close widow friends, one of their partners, and my (alive) partner. I met my two widow friends thru Soaring Spirits’ LGBTQI+ Regional Group,...
June was Pride Month AND Filipino Heritage Month, and is always my busiest month as a result. I am greatly involved in organizing many of the activities, as well as participating in those I have no responsibility...
After one of Lynn’s Celebrations of Life, her father, Gus, pulled me aside to talk alone. He told me that he knew how much Lynn and I loved each other, and that he wanted me to find a new love one day...
Robyn and I talk almost every morning. It’s a kind of well-being check-in for us, I think. I would get concerned if I couldn’t reach her (without an excused absence). She feels the same. In any case,...
Lola and I returned home from Tucson around ten days ago. Predictably, at the end, we were greeted by bumper-to-bumper traffic conditions amidst interminable local construction projects that extended...
During her recent visit to Tucson, Robyn mentioned that she was scheduled to take a medical test once she returned home. She was upset by the prospect and visibly concerned. Thankfully, it seems she...
Robyn arrived here in Tucson just before midnight on Saturday. Through Wednesday afternoon we hiked, shopped, gambled, visited friends, kissed and hugged, and sampled the best that Tucson has to offer,...
I went to the movies this afternoon and greeted my friend with, “Happy New Year!” She replied, “And Happy Mardi Gras and Ramadan!” Three big celebrations fall on the same day this...
I never asked, but I think the Facebook post I made on my first widowed Valentine’s Day was the catalyst that led me to writing this blog. Tony died in April of 2021, and I attended my first Camp Widow...
Robyn arrives in Tucson late tonight. In advance of her arrival, I just had my place professionally cleaned, but it didn’t do much good with Lola the pup close at hand. I will have to clean up...
V Very proud that you keep putting one foot in front of the other since your person left. A And how, when you fall down, you continue to get up and try again. L Love how bravery shows up for you at unexpected...
The New Year has started out eventful. As the days grow slightly longer, they seem to be less heavy and lighter on all levels. I, too, feel the collective relief that those widowed often feel when the...
Well, actually the first day of 2026 found me waking up at 6am in my brother’s home in Tennessee. So I wasn’t alone at the very start of this new year – instead I was ending a lovely time with...
For the first time since Tony died, I found myself in town for New Years Eve. I have spent the last four years ringing in the new year anywhere but home. Part of me was dreading being here with all the...
Writing this in Real Time early New Year’s Day. At precisely 12:01am, I experienced a deep sense of relief that 2025 had concluded softly without the loss of an immediate family member. I lost Rich in...
Today is New Year’s Day. By chance, I also posted here most recently on Christmas Day. Does my holiday timing forecast a propitious 2026? Only time will tell. Regardless, my dreams are modest. In...
by Maggie Smith Its New Year’s Eve and I’m arriving here late. It’s raining in So Cal about half a day’s worth, anyway. Perhaps Maggie’s poem will provide...
My first Christmas without Jim has passed – and spending it in the hills of Tennessee with my brother and sister-in-law was the very best thing I could have chosen to do. Quiet. Peaceful. Plenty of childhood...
The Christmas décor has already been packed away. Another Christmas passed and further away from when Tony was here. I’ve convinced the kids we don’t need to put up the tree anymore. It’s so heavy...
On June 30, 2021, I hit “publish” with equal parts excitement and nerves. Today, I’m hitting it one last time — with a full heart. Keeping my promise to write here each Wednesday created...
The last two days I’ve been sick and tired, literally. We had a busy Friday and Saturday night, and I thought I was just sore from the weekend. Then I noticed it felt like my skin hurt. That first sign...
I came across an instagram post that talked about why a PET might be the only thing that pulls you forward after a devastating loss (when nothing and nobody else can reach you). It was an amazing post...
I never asked, but I think the Facebook post I made on my first widowed Valentine’s Day was the catalyst that led me to writing this blog. Tony died in April of 2021, and I attended my first Camp Widow...
V Very proud that you keep putting one foot in front of the other since your person left. A And how, when you fall down, you continue to get up and try again. L Love how bravery shows up for you at unexpected...
Three is most definitely “my” number … or 33 … or 333. Vern, Jeremy and I were a family of three. Vern, Jeremy and I were each 33 years old when our fathers died. After Vern died,...
It’s only February but wheels are already in motion for another season of changes. My oldest will be a senior in high school next school year. I’ve heard that year is hard on many parents with all...
I begin this post with a disclamer. I do not, nor ever have, been employed by the supermarket chain Winn Dixie, nor did I write the book Because of Winn Dixie, although it’s a great dog story. That honor...
“Me and you are subject to the blues now and then” And oh boy did the ‘now and then’ arrive. And they were triggered by watching the new ‘Song Sung Blue’ movie. Go figure. I love Neil...
A friend and I were recently talking about the touch deprivation experienced in widowhood. It’s one of those extra layers of loss that not everyone thinks about. But it reminds me of everyone touting...
At 1,748 days out has its question changed? When I walked my husband out to the coroner’s van in our driveway we were 51 years 9 months married. I was sending him off, in the custom of our...
Last week, I spent 4 perfect days in Cabo with a handful of my widow friends. It takes a little more work to get to Mexico, so our entire crew wasn’t able to join for this one. But the 5 of us made the...
What do I need in this moment? I take a breath I breathe in peace I breathe in silence I breathe in words, story, and music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCpXMy5GalI&list=RDlCpXMy5GalI&start_radio=1...
For no particular reason, I looked up Lynn and my conversation in my Messenger app. Honestly, I did not think we had ever messaged on Messenger, but indeed we had! Her first message to me was on August...
While watching tv I saw an ad for a sitcom about marriage. They were making a joke about how long after death they had to wait to find a new partner. He told her she had to wait half the time they were...
On Tuesday, I awoke around 1:00am. Turning on my laptop, I knew what I was looking for; the Facebook Post I’d written on that day four years earlier sharing the sad and unwanted news with so many that...
This weekend marks what would’ve been my 29th Wedding Anniversary, not the 30th that I mentioned in my last post. It gave me a little laugh when I realized my widowed brain error. 29th, or 30th, no matter,...
When Traveling the Path of Grief The path we each travel to make our way through the daily ins & outs of our grief is personal and unique. As widowed people, our paths are often similar, yet different...
Yesterday marked the fifth anniversary of Lee’s death. Not a day passes, nor many moments, when she is out of mind. My memories of Lee –even the sad ones- are part of her legacy. I sincerely...
Lee and I were married on June 12th. Does this fact mean that today is our wedding anniversary, or is it more accurate to say, had Lee survived, today would mark our wedding anniversary? Where it involves...
For years after Lynn passed, I never shied away from “hard feelings” ie: sadness, anger, exhaustion, confusion, etc. If a feeling came along, I gave it a place to stay as long as it needed to. I had...
Today’s post is a reprint from June 2024 with a few slight alterations. You might surmise that June is my funkiest month, and you would be correct. Nothing much has changed in a year, except I plan...
Yesterday was the 4th anniversary of Tony’s passing. In case you missed it, yesterday was also Easter. I have known and dreaded for a full year that these two events would coincide. About a month ago,...
Our cat has been missing for four days, and the anniversary of Tony’s death is in six days. Into that equation go ahead and add that my oldest will be 16 in two days. In summation, I am struggling. I...
