Twice as Mad

Posted in FILM with tags on January 19, 2026 by dcairns
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A good friend complained that the semi-regular “twice as gay” movie trailer mash-ups struck him as homophobic or anyway tiresome. My intention, so far as I can make it out, was always simply to juxtapose incongruous words, so that the texts combine to say things that obviously couldn’t have been the original intention, leading hopefully to that strain of cognitive dissonance that results in laughter.

But using “gay” as a punchline is a long, ignoble tradition. I never felt it was the punchline, it was never the last word, but a lot of the words that did come later were either offering an unlikely candidate for gayness, or offering a fairly predictable one (there doesn’t seem to be a third option) and then saying something outrageous (again, hoping that the misuse of the text, bending it from its original meaning, would be funny). There was definitely a pursuit of the snigger, since the particular incongruity being produced had a sexual component. I never find the use of the word “gay” in old trailers comical in and of itself.

To some extent the jokes that can be made out of old trailers depend on the text in them, and since trailers with statements like “as kid Galahad” and “as Frankenstein’s monster” keep turning up, and I’m always happy grinding a joke into the earth through overuse, I kept doing these mash-up. But I can’t disclaim my authorial role in putting the things together. I once, while working on some collages, accidentally laid the word GEEKS, taken from a newspaper headline, over an image of starving British POWs and the shocking juxtaposition made me laugh and then feel guilty but I knew better than to put that out into the world.

It’s generally better not to make a joke than to offend someone you like, or to risk being completely wrong about the effect you’re going for or achieving.

I now wonder if describing the late Bernard Cribbins (above) as “glamorous” is also obnoxious in exactly the same way. Again, the logic is just to follow a descriptor with an unlikely subject. I quite often mismatch gendered pronouns with a gendered subject to produce the same surprise effect. Is that transphobic, I wonder? Is using that kind of incongruity inherently bigoted or heteronormative, even if only slightly, because it’s based on the assumption that such a “mismatch” is in fact a mismatch, a deviation from a presumed norm? I always felt it was a mismatch WITHIN THE TERMS OF THE ORIGINAL TRAILERS. I’m making them talk about stuff whose existence they were never designed to acknowledge.

I’m not calling for anyone to reassure me that the old “twice as gay” things were fine — that doesn’t interest me. But does getting any kind of laugh by distorting the text depend on a normative attitude, and does that attitude originate with the reader’s worldview or the worldview they interpret the original trailers as depicting? In other words, is suggesting that Rhett Butler may be weird (somewhat) amusing because we think it may be true or because that’s not what a 1939 trailer would say about him?

And is this tired gag more or less funny when the word “gay” is replaced with other terms? Is it all about the snigger-factor?

The Sunday Intertitle: Culminating Stroke

Posted in FILM with tags , , , , , on January 18, 2026 by dcairns
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Yes! It’s the final installment of our thrill-packed British movie serial from 1917, A BID FOR FORTUNE. Ladies, please remove your hats. Note: if you have difficulty maintaining upper-lip stiffness, try waxing your moustache. Now read on:

Dr. Nikola, fiend in human guise, aided by the ersatz Lord Beckenham, abducts the fair Phyllis from the Governor’s Ball in Sydney. A last-ditch attempt to extort the Rod of Wisdom from her father, Wetherell.

Our hero, a tall, violent painter, a sort of scrappy Sickert, arrives — too late!

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Don’t look at his eyes!

One of the neatest things about this serial is the interstitial moments of non-diegetic staring, performed either by Dr. Nikola or his cat, Mr. Bigglesworth.

Phyllis has been imprisoned in a cheap set with uneven wainscoting and print damage. The old fellow, her abductor, is not actually wearing a false red nose on his old fellow, that’s just part of the print damage. It only lasts a frame, but that’s the frame we’re stuck with.

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Some actual detective work from our cyclonic Seurat — Phyllis’ chauffeur had been slipped a mickey — staggering home, he leads the tempestuous Tanguy to the hostelry where said mickey was dispensed, and the welterweight Wyeth discovers a discarded Evening News stamped with the address of its newsagent. A clew!

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The helpful and very-smartly dressed newsagent is able to direct our warlike Warhol to Dr. Nikola’s pied-terre, the sinisterly named 22 Calliope Street, Woolara, an address destined to live in infamy. They arrive — TOO LATE! (again) — Dr. Nikola is currently rowing Phyllis to a waiting sailboat, the Merry Duchess. The quarrelsome Quesada has to settle for rescuing the real Lord Beckenham, who’s lying trussed and insensible at the Calliope Street residence.

Wetherell, Phyllis’s phather, receives Nikola’s ransom note by manservant and silver salver — if you’re going to be extorted, at least do it in style. Wetherell is to row out to sea at midnight, bearing the Tibetan rod this whole thing has been about. He’s allowed one boatman. A cinch! The brawling Bronzino accoutres himself in boatmanlike garb — Van Dyke beard, slouch hat and scarf — his own mother wouldn’t know him.

The filmmakers throw in a giant out-of-focus closeup of Mr. Bigglesworth in case we’re not feeling suspensed enough.

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Boarding the Merry Duchess, the Rembrandt of right hooks finds only a note, warning Wetherell not to attempt such tomfoolery next time.

Though purportedly occurring at midnight, these scenes are all obvious broad daylight, so we’ll just have to imagine the appropriate tinting. But suddenly we get a very nice day-for-night shot, shooting into the sun and stopping right down so the sun stands in for the moon:

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Unfortunately we don’t seem to know who photographed this movie/serial, but director Sidney Morgan also made a 1920 LITTLE DORRIT and 1925’s BULLDOG DRUMMOND’S THIRD ROUND. Actor A. Harding Steerman, who plays Dr. Nikola with gravitas and not too much ham, was in a modest bunch of silent movies but then made numerous appearances in late 1930s television plays.

Dr. N. sails with Phyllis to the island of Pipa Lannu (?), stranding her there until he can get his sweaty hands on her dad’s rod. But Wetherell and the confrontational Constable have chartered a steamer and are in hot pursuit with cops in tow.

They land! They run about the beach, serpentine fashion! The Uribe of the uppercut still has on his false beard and slouch hat, for some reason. A couple of henchmen jump them, they tussle, but the brutal Breughel the elder makes short work of his foes.

Dr. Nikola has a premonition of foiling.

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Wetherell, the true Lord Beckenham, and our knock-down Nolde beard the master-criminal in his lair, but he draws a pistol!

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They rush him boldly, but the painting conceals a secret passage, and in a flash Dr. Nikola has vanished!

The hostile Hopper is reunited joyously with Phyllis, but meanwhile, the stuck-up Wetherell is stuck up by Nikola, pulling the same pistol (or its twin). He demands the rod. Why not just give it to him?

He does. And while Nikola is having a good old gloat, Wetherell finds Phyllis and finally gives her permission to wed the paroxysmal Parrish.

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They certainly do! While Phyllis is canoodling with her vicious Velázquez in a moodily lit interior, a spectral Dr. Nikola ambles in and deposits an all-too-corporeal missive.

Briefly, the note says that the five pounds delivered by mouse in Port Said (see previous instalment) has, through “a chain of circumstance” increased to £750, and Dr. Nikola, a peculiarly honest master criminal, encloses a cheque for that sum. Meanwhile, he says, the Rod of Wisdom is proving invaluable in his experiments to prolong human life.

So — wait — Dr. Nikola was the hero all along? And also he has the power of astral projection, but never used it?

The nature of Nikola’s quest, as it’s revealed, makes me think of Dr. Phibes, another master-criminal who always wins and is seen seeking eternal life. I’m seriously tempted to read Guy Boothby’s original yarns now to see if the doctor is being faithfully represented here.

Bale Out

Posted in FILM with tags , , , , , , , , , , on January 17, 2026 by dcairns

I finally caught up with Werner Herzog’s RESCUE DAWN, which I’d always been mildly curious about — the only instance of Herzog turning one of his documentaries into a dramatic feature film so far as I know, though I would welcome a whole movie about the cigarette-smoking chimp in ECHOS FROM A SOMBRE EMPIRE.

Aged 65, Werner decided to go Up The Jungle again.

In LITTLE DIETER NEEDS TO FLY, we meet Dieter Dengler, German-American aviator, shot down over Laos and held as a POW, who then managed a dramatic escape. In RESCUE DAWN we meet Christian Bale, Welsh actor, playing Dengler, getting shot down and escaping.

In neither film is any room provided to really consider what Diegler was doing in the air over Laos (dropping bombs) — or, we could be generous and say there’s plenty of room because you can wonder about that for the whole runtime. It’s just that the film rarely nudges you to do so.

It DOES begin with documentary footage of real bombing. This unfortunately makes you wonder why the dramatised bombing we see in the movie looks so different. The answer being that the actuality film shows incendiary/fragmentation bombs and the fake stuff is petroleum explosions (or, if they’re CGI, someone has erred in making them look like standard movie bombs).

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The film’s apparent bias in Dieter’s favour can partly be explained by Herzog’s disinclination to get into ideology or take sides, though in fact the film very obviously takes Dieter’s side by narrating things through his viewpoint. So his captors are just vicious monsters and we don’t get prodded too much to think about why they might feel so hostile to the people bombing them. To Dieter it’s just inexplicable, and he cries “Why doesn’t anyone listen?” despite being presumably familiar with the concept that some people speak different languages.

Also, Dieter is a big weirdball, inspired to become a pilot after being bombed by Allied planes during his German childhood. So maybe, apart from being born without fear, he was born without the ability to resent being bombed, and so couldn’t understand why anyone else would.

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The one place where we’re given information independently is the film’s opening text, which lets us know that this is SECRET bombing. This will be relevant later. What the text doesn’t say, and easily could, is that this is secret because ILLEGAL bombing. That one word would do much to make what follows more legitimate.

The film is a conventional harrowing survival story, enlivened at times by Herzog’s handheld long takes, his dedication to weird-because-true detail, and the excellent performances of his committed, starving actors. Jeremy Davis seems to be auditioning for the role of Charles Manson — successfully, as it turned out. Steve Zahn is typically great. As with his doc WINGS OF HOPE, Herzog is here telling the story of one “lucky” person equipped with the knowledge and determination to survive in the precise very bad situation they find themselves in.

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Unfortunately, the film also features some truly horrible cliches. The heroic freeze-frame ending. The slow-motion shoot-out.

A word on the slomo gun battle. When Peckinpah borrowed from THE SEVEN SAMURAI for his WILD BUNCH the notion of cutting between a killer and witnesses moving at normal speed and a slain man falling in slow-motion, he was getting at the idea of adrenalin’s effect, the world slowing down for you at a critical moment of stress. Just two years later, in THE GETAWAY, Bloody Sam was using slomo for smashing headlights. Bits of glass do not experience an adrenalin rush. The true purpose of slow motion, towards which it gravitates, Peckinpah had found, was to celebrate (eroticise) movement.

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The slomo in RESCUE DAWN seems deplorable to me because it is used uncritically, as pure cliche, and so becomes a celebration of violence. Perhaps Herzog had got this from Dengler, perhaps he said that when he shot his enemies they seemed to go into slow motion. I sort of feel the slow motion should not have been reserved for the moment of victory, but should kick in the moment Dengler is seen by his enemies and everyone reacts. But even that would be a really tired trope and something new and better needed to be found.

Time travel is real — seeing THE WILD BUNCH today, the slomo goes back to signifying what it did at the time, though we also see, perhaps more clearly than contemporary audiences and even the director himself, that the sequence wants to be thrilling and enjoyable as well as horrific. RESCUE DAWN’s obscene slaughter arrives already dated — I feel confident saying that even though the film is now 20 years old. And through such decisions it steers us into a reactionary political position even while trying to maintain quasi-plausible deniability.

RESCUE DAWN stars Bruce Wayne; Glenn Michaels; Charles Manson; Richard Chesler (Regional Manager); General Owen; Kahn Souphanousinphone Sr.; Agent John Burger; Shelly Nix; The Great Sage; and Cheddar Bob.