I always felt like being an artist was so natural and somehow inevitable... and very blessed I suppose to have those abilities, because I could choose a more peaceful & positive lifestyle than, for example, being a coastguardsman or security officer... this world can make nasty people out of perfectly good souls, and burden them down with bad karma they wouldn't have if, say, we could all just be artists.
No one is perfect, but I think ALL people have that instinct, to create and work from a place of harmlessness. To actually spread GOOD through this world as their main purpose... but sadly that's not always the case. If we could truly find our niche in this world, it would all fit together like pieces of a beautiful puzzle, clasped into perfection.
Historically the world has been a dangerous place, and sometimes brutal, but as / IF we move into an Age of Peace, there are massive redressals to be made. Certain taboos & paranoias we no longer need, and we have to shift most people's participation in this world from being mute witnesses & slave-workers, to fully awake & engaged human beings. "We have so much work to do," as my wise & late Grandmother said as last words to me, before we create Heaven on Earth.
All things are one,
Every element linking in perfection together
in the great exploration of it All.
Certain people in this world are more attuned to the Negative, more sensitive to it. We actually Need them around to point the way -- for if THOSE people can be made happy, anyone can. Very often they're the most brilliant among us and we NEED them to acquire happiness -- they're also the best equipped to point out its lack. What is wrong with the way we're living -- what is still MISSING?
Humankind, following the many forks in the road of cultural evolution,
simply has taken so many WRONG TURNS and blunders down blind alleys,
that most people on the planet are quite miserable most of the time they're alive.
Whether it go from the simply dull, empty dissatisfaction the modern office worker
feels as he throws away 8 hours of his day to the greedy witless men that rule him
from the heights of a social pyramid -- or the gnawing, mortal dystopia suffered
by the MILLIONS of people still dying of hunger & thirst in the third world --
very few of us can say our lives go in a continual state of bliss from
one day to another, experiences of awe & satisfaction such as
are POSSIBLE and actually our birthright -- yet denied us.
During this lifetime of mostly drifting, ambient spectatorship,
I have had 7-8 experiences of such depth and profoundness,
that I KNOW these things to be true. Religious people never come near this, Psychologists & Psychiatrists don't have a clue, Yogis and Swamis are left in the dark.
Yet these experiences COULD be had by any one of us, and really should be in good time.
Some things I've learned:
-The mind can go anywhere, the body-mind combine is the most perfect vehicle to explore consciousness here imaginable.
-Altered states of consciousness are KEY to seeing consciousness as a whole, part of gathering experience. Dreams, Shamanic quests, Nearly dying, etc. wake us up to the WHOLENESS of reality.
-Variety is God's spice of life
-All things are created from & connected to each other by Love. "The Universe is Glowing with Love."
-There is a place of darkness you will go, if you get caught up in Negativity, that is beyond all power of words to describe, a throbbing, pulsing darkness & void that stretches on forever annihilating your soul.
-These energies hold the balance of the Universe in sway, observing & recording all that goes on for our experience.
-That reality is ALWAYS THERE, even if you presently aren't in tangible contact with it.
I've already pointed to #4 on my list of top 10 world problems,
the notion that there simply isn't enough MEANING in people's lives.
We strut around the artificial & restrictive prisons of our industrial role,
forcing fake smiles and undergoing the culturally-sanctioned rites of life,
robots joining in the jangling, soulless parade of a normality we didn't choose,
slowly over time wondering "What's wrong with me?" more and more...
And of course there are myriad businesses & corporations now set on
engineering answers to those problems, albeit from the same artificial wellspring whence the problem began.
There are whole empires built on phony solutions to these problems THEY are creating for us.
Meanwhile sane people scream from dark windows of the societal madhouse,
shrill voices in the wind of the whirlwind Apocalypse at the end of time.
America in particular feasts on violence, frivolity, triviality, stupidity.
These cultural norms further swaddle us in the state of lifelong confusion & emptiness that is sought,
also sending out terrible messages about the world's supposed "#1 Country".
I for one have become ashamed at what I see my country becoming,
and endless series of rotating buffoons & money-grubbers leading
us all into a police-state of increased slavery, misery, & ignorance.
The only 2 crimes that exist are, namely, hurting & controlling people,
and that is what's being done to us on a Global scale all over these days.
I've seen the forces of darkness at hand in my life lately,
having all my recent work stolen, my reputation slandered,
seen many people that were supposed allies betray me, etc.,
and made made bitterly aware of what Hell this world can be.
We're supposed to be going for Heaven on Earth, and yet there
are so many people here working overtime dragging us TO HELL.
Parts of it ARE Hell, as bad as any Hell imagined by any of us.
The only consolation again is that,
what we CREATE we will experience,
whether in ourselves or another person.
The people that create this Hell will be held
directly responsible for it, in ALL whose lives it touches.
Indeed, it will be magnified & amplified through the lens of MEANING,
which is around us as I say all the time, even if we aren't feeling it.
All Posts30
Newest
Ode
3 min read
An Angry call went out this morning,
first from One House, then Another
Only Slowly did dullard neighbors Awake to what was happening
as An Ominous Black Wind blew by.
The Plague Wagons still creaked by on the course
of their endless rounds
Stalked by a new mob of ghosts eyeing their corpses' progress earthward
as The Bejeweled princess looked out the window
Pining for the fact of the Love She would never Feel,
Longing for the One.
This Day, Outwards there is beauty, but inside is all rot.
But The Satyr, with a Gleam in his eye,
Held out a bag of magical powder to Me and Spoke these Words Intently,
"None of Us is Who we Seem, Nor Knows Whence We Go nor Why,
But I have been here a Thousand Years!!
Hurry, take my hand, and Let us Flee into the Night!"
I knew not whether to Trust him,
Nor any of these mutilated twisting faces
Picking through the thorny rosebushes and tangled briar-patches
on either side of the River. Tiger-stripes of moonlit canopy shadows distorted them all
and the world around me spun until Man, Beast, & Tree were too only a mess of textures subsumed into the Labyrinth.
The Great Owl and Halloween-eyed Jaguar were aware of all the Angels and Woodland Spirits who looked on that night,
as The Old Grandfather Tree Lumbered forward to the Watering Hole,
Elbowing aside the patrons who all vied to be let forward first,
but When he got to the Bandits, who in Retort brandished and knicked their swords,
Old Grandmother Screamed admonishments from her Window and the Impervious Jester danced his Merry Sad Songs.
The Satyr, in Profile, had a tear streaming down his cheek and made out these last words:
"There is no hope now... it will be forever Night."
Listen well the Tale, young ones, Wise ones, dry yourself round the fire,
as we all humble ourselves before the One,
and fold our hands in prayer.
None is beyond salvation my bretheren,
and yet we will be severely tested in this wandering.
Puzzles within Puzzles,
deceit within deceit,
Riddles Ever-changing and shifting.
Sanded Coridoors and Booby-trapped floors line the walls
of this God-Forsaken Space, But, You will find the One way Out, My Dear.
It may take just a little time,
I know this is surreal.
Stop Struggling, Surrender & give up the fight.
I am Here With You.
Now Grandmother and father are at peace, sipping watery coffee with dentured smiles
and blithely pleased in the slow tempo of their ignorance.
The incessant stream of riddles passes them by all oblivious.
They do not even try anymore, they paid no mind to the Ancient Puzzle Cubes nor the Satyr's Magic Powder.
Truly they are all indifferent to Our Suffering and We are condemed to burn forever.
But Don't worry Baby, I hold you to my chest in All Essence, When you thought no one
felt you scream, I Was With You. I have been With You, I am screaming too. We all scream
forever in this place.
Come, leave it all behind.
Let us go into the Light.
There We are Safe, Together
in Love, and All will Be Well.
Forever.
JD
22
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Qui Venit
6 min read
Hello to all, especially all friends.
It's been quite some time. Apologies for being removed for a while, I exist to lighten this world for us all but have been pursued by darkness overmuch in my life. "I am BESET by hindrance and vexation" as Der Meister haben gesagt, und es ist fur mich stimmt auch wie immer.
A constant wish is for you all to be finding interesting and fulfilling roads out there, flung to the seven seas as you've certainly been. Particularly goes out a wave to any past loved ones who drifted off yonder into whatever waves of 'troubled seas' and wayward journeys you're off to as well. Blessings to all, even those who can KEEP going to hell.
I have been drawing yes, here and there, mostly producing stuff for "die jahrenbuchen", journals or chronologue sketchbook type things. I've still been more interested in and devoted to musical work, enabling definitely lots of good to develop thereby.
Oh, cherish the lucky & blessed days you live out, my children!
Those are gold tokens not only in this world, but in the hereafter.
You will live each one a thousand times, from a thousand vantages.
If only you would live them rightly, as would please every one of them.
Impossible for you now though, forestalled as all are by their darkness.
"My sisterhood has studied your bloodline, and your future.
...we have seen you die, MANY times!!
...We have also seen you rise to commahnd VAHST ahhmies, bringing peace ...
...once."
~from DUNE
But yessshhhhhhhh, most people I still believe have that unchangeable core of good despite whatever immense Olympii of trash, jumbled strew-piles of black netted longbegottens rummaging up their menuilial space. Why forsake thee, the whisperings of spirit?
The Voice of God is in everything, not only speaking but YELLING at you
every hour of every day. And yet how many demons will attend as well?
Il attend comment vous insiste a invite. A tout et Tout le responsibilite.
The demon was clutched around her chest, around her heart. Perhaps the size of a basketball, and a similar shade actually. Orange and black, with glowing orange eyes.
Its hands were abnormally large for a body of that size, with long hyperdermic nails which
tapped and stroked with an odd gentle fondness at the ribcage protecting the valuable organ.
It nestled close as if sustained by its beat and warmth, which it at the same time was using
as a source of energy to sustain itself. It was draining her life force in several dimensions
simultaneously, while looking at me like a hungry dog defending a desperately won meal.
There was certainly intelligence in those eyes as they looked menacingly at me, then at
the heart again, and back at me. More intelligence say than in any hungry dog, and yet
not as sentient as most humans. I wondered at the larger demons which often have the
look of MORE intelligence than most humans, and how I loathe them. They would follow
me around more except I bore them, and not so far has even one device of theirs made so
much as a scratch on my aetherial aquamarine bathyscope, nor do any more even attempt it.
Yet hers was persistent, omnipresent, daily more frenzied at the increasingly-erratic beating and
throbbing of her vulnerable kardía. Softly could it be heard grunting and whining in the early
hours of the morning as she tottered about the creaky silent house, preparing a greedy
ration of saltpork and coffee. The vibrant aromas saturated the dwelling within
minutes, all previously sleeping there now bothersomely awake and
aware of her reeking ritual, only to be rebuffed by a shrivelled
mouth spewing bits of the the masticated mix of acid salinated
chloridated meat the creature(s) began the day with when friendly
curiosity impelled them downstairs. The demon cackled when they
walked away, audible except to her as a hyena-like whispery giggle.
More vividly even could it be seen in the evenings, when sweating
and placid would she stumble in from the day's labors, panting.
Its delight seemed to increase when her breath thinned and
shortened, which was more and more often now.
A dream one night, of the faces of all the
animals on all the loading docks of all the
slaughterhouses she had ever consumed,
grimacing past her as they were swept off
to their doom. She knew it, and yet wouldn't
even so much as lift a finger to question what
was happening. In the sky was a blazing orange
sun, the same color as the demon's eyes. And where
its eyes might be imagined, two yellow orbs flashed in even
more unworldly brilliance. In their reflection she saw herself, engorged
at the end of an assembly line as a procession of horse-heads, cow-tongue,
sirloin steaks, ribeyes, tenderloins, round roasts, chicken wings, and pig's feet
streamed in a wash of blood toward her open gaping mouth at the end of the line.
She awoke, in a cold sweat, still hearing the screams of animals and gurgling guts
churning all around her, grasping at her heart with a sudden, forceful wave of pain.
This pain was not fucking around, it seized her complete attention at once, and in
a second she was thrown back into her pillow, wide-eyed, unable to even yell to
the flaccidly snoozing boor who was her current husband in the bed beside her.
The demon, having been thrashing about all this time, yowled out a pan-like
vocifery of delighted laughter now, throwing its head back and forth, and
dancing upon the victim's chest in exultation. The strainful silence of that
15 or 20 seconds exploded into eternities bounding onto eternities, as
she clutched her chest and fought for breath in a whirlwind panic borne
of sheer survival instinct now. Even the pain was secondary now, as each
second ticked on the nearby oafen shelf-clock and cold sweats streamed
down her furrowed hairline. What at first was a trembling quiver now raged
into a full body shaking vibration, up from her spine, sending electroshocks
ricocheting through the cheaply rum-stained mattress, finally arounsing her
lummox husband into wakefulness. He burbled through the mumbles of fae
to find his wife purple and blue by his side, shaking the whole bed as though
from a tale of the old ones of one 'possessed' -- immobile from the waist up
but legs kicking and eyes which snapped to meet his frightened gaze just as
she became able to let out a diver's suffocated inhale for breath. BREATH! It
was everything for some moments -- as she deeply consumed now even the
rude air in the damp apartment around them as hungrily as she once did her
greasy bacon clumps. Rapidly, en espanol, he demanded to know what had
happened, was she okay? But with the first ability to make sound, all she
went for was a prolonged, lungs' top wail that - again woke everyone in
the house but this time in the late hours of night. She screamed away
the residue of extreme pain until, through just sobs, she was able
to regain some semblance of composure some minutes later.
She explained the haunted dream and how she woke up
in such pain unable to even wake anybody. In
that moment, it was just the
two of them.
...
And aren't those the moments that really matter?
Anyway,
at least for now~
Basta!
~J
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Who Knows
6 min read
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A conversation I've had 100 times
2 min read
W: yeah no it dont matter to me
but i like girls guys cant get me hard wont happen
girls will ez
guys can get you ahrd? in what way? how does that way differ from females?
or in what ways can that differ from the ways guys get hard with females cause its one sex that can get ahrd hard to both female and male males cant get me hard so what was it about females that turned you off?
Last Message 3:47 AM
You: rdy?
lol
well those used to be big questions for me but it's just simple truths... guys smell good, they feel good in a skin-on-skin way, warmth, solidness, whereas females feel flabby and flimsy lol
those are things your body won't deny, it's not like "god did this" or not, it's a truth in the BODY just like how favorite foods taste good, and other foods don't
Last Message 3:54 AM
You: plus just natural clues come into the picture; dreams, noticing a certain person's tone of voice, etc. that stuff is so much more 'spiritually' real and fulfilling than all these opinions people create out of their mind
so you listen to your body, your heart, you don't hold that down and resist it... only stupid people do that.
Last Message 3:57 AM
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Here now
3 min read
It's interesting to think that the physical material that comprises your body in this life, will never "die" or go away from here, at all...
It will after some years go back to dust, of course, but that dust is still a quantity of material which resides here on the planet.
After still longer the dust may degrade into yet finer material (Carbon-14 breaks back down into Nitrogen-14 with a half-life of 5,730+-40 years) but it is still here, as a measurable substance continuing to cycle through all other lifeforms, percolating up into the atmosphere as fine and subtle gases...
Perhaps small quantities of your erstwhile body will drift away from this Earth through Atmospheric escape, carried along by the solar wind to far & unreachable sectors of dark intergalactic Space, while the denser and heavier elements cling with a jealous inertia to the rocks and soil of your planetary home, until it's all exploded back into the cosmos for still further Universal recycling...
... but it's all still here, traveling around in infinitely changing form through space til the end of time, for some reason bundled together in the capacity of a human body for your short stay here in the here & now. It is built up atom by atom, molecule by molecule, through the mother's pregnancy, through processes of eating & drinking, respiration, etc. as one grows up, reaching some sort of homeostatic equilibrium in adulthood, eventually to disintegrate back into diffusion & death.
All the raw material to make you hearkens back into the primordial furnaces of the Universe, collected into a particular arrangement by the cosmogony of our planet, to be distributed among its children for the hour of their elemental play, and ultimately to be blasted back out in return from whence it came.
BUT -- it's all still here.
The body, when a person dies, still lies there on the bed, in the exact same physical dimensions of the moment before, with the exact same weight, molecular composition, etc... indeed some organ systems continue growing "in autopilot" after a person dies, apparently unaware of the change.
What has left cannot be measured physically, and is not intertwined with the body per se, or it too would be perceivably there.
Clearly it has moved to an entirely different realm where the body and physical matter do not apply, at least as we currently experience, and instead what exists independently of it --in fact what animates every body and differentiates one from another in this life-- personality, intelligence, imagination-- is left to rove and explore the dimensions of another life, another Universe...
Clearly it has moved to an entirely different realm where the body and physical matter do not apply, at least as we currently experience, and instead what exists independently of it --in fact what animates every body and differentiates one from another in this life-- personality, intelligence, imagination-- is left to rove and explore the dimensions of another life, another Universe...
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