1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that
had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh
Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and
breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer.
3. The little boat gently drifted across the pond
exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
4. McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement
like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup.
5. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair
after a sneeze.
6. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big
black dots in the centre.
7. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
8. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
9. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just
like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
10. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed
lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other
like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36
p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough
at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
11. The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the
full stop after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
12. John and Mary had never met. They were like two
hummingbirds who had also never met.
13. The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the
sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage
during the storm scene in a play.
14. The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red
crayon.
15. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like
a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long
it had rusted shut.
16. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
17. The plan was simple, like my mate Phil. But
unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
18. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind
you get from not eating for a while.
19. "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts
heaving like a student on 31p-a-pint night.
20. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical
lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually
lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
21. Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like
someone who can tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's
Not Butter."
22. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that
sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and
extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a
lamppost.
24. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had
disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as
a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.
25. The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like
an oscillating electric fan set on medium.
26. It was a working class tradition, like fathers
chasing kids around with their power tools.
27. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he
thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart
reversing.
28. She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.
29. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli
and he was room-temperature British beef.
30. She walked into my office like a centipede with
98 missing legs.
31. Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like
a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that
needed a band tightened.
32. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you
accidentally staple it to the wall.