Throughrunning on the Green Line

Unlike the other subway lines on the T, some branches of the Green Line actually terminate downtown, instead of continuing through to the northern terminuses. Coming from other metro systems, I didn’t even realize this was an option, so I would always be surprised when a green line train would (seemly randomly) go out of service in the middle of my trip. I would also be stuck waiting for Westbound B and C branch trains at North Station which would never come. Luckily, in most Green Line stations, a line specific map is present that shows a lot more detail. Shockingly, I don’t think this map is available from the MBTA’s official site
https://mbtagifts.com/products/2025-mbta-green-line-map-station-wall-panel-format

This is also why the headsigns² show stations that aren’t at the end of the lines, since those are saying where the train will actually terminate. I still wish more of this information was on the system map, but a girl can’t have everything.

Luckily, once you know what’s going on, it’s pretty easy to navigate. Generally if I’m going from West to North, I will get on any train that’s going inbound, ride it until it terminates, then transfer to the train I actually need to get to my destination (often home, which is on the GLX³). Going the other direction, I get on any Westbound train, then transfer at Park Street.

Wayfinding on the Green Line

I usually use Google Maps or Transit to navigate, and unfortunately both of those are not super helpful when telling the user which Green Line platform their train will arrive on. Platform signs on the Green Line generally list the direction of travel, and a significant station on the way (usually either Park St⁴ or the last station before the line branches). For example, Hynes station lists “KENMORE & WEST” and “PARK ST & NORTH”. Unfortunately, this doesn’t really match up to what apps offer for navigation. Google Maps tells me to board an E branch train going to Medford/Tufts, neither of which is listed anywhere on the platform (or obviously in the map in some cases). Transit is a little better, as it at least says if you should be going East or West. If you’re ever in a situation where you’re unsure which platform is correct, check the station listed on each platform sign, then check a map in the station to make sure it’s on the way to where you want to go.

Riding the Green Line

Listen, I’m sorry I keep bringing up the Green Line, but on the oldest subway in North America there’s going to be some weirdness. Despite running on tracks, the western above-ground section of the line operates more like a bus. What do I mean by this? The train doesn’t stop at stations unless there are people waiting or a rider requests a stop (either by pressing a red STOP button or the tan tape on the wall). Operators also sometimes only open the front door to deter fare evasion, which can make it easy to miss stops if you’re sitting facing backwards.

The GLX is half way inbetween the subway section and the Western section in terms of operations. All doors open for boarding⁵, and the trains stop at all stops unless it’s late at night, in which case the operator will announce that stops have to be requested. Also, the GLX will sometimes run express, often during late night service. If this happens, the operator will announce it. If you want to go to any stops except the last one, get off the train at the next station, and wait for the next one which will be local. There isn’t a particular schdule to when this happens, as it’s done to help with certain operational issues where the trains are too close together.

Mattapan

Looking at the map of the redline, you can see that service extends past Ashmont to Mattapan. This is the thrilling Mattapan High Speed Line, a shockingly historic streetcar service that connects the redline to Mattapan. To ride it, as you leave the station, go through the fare gates and turn left to wraparound the station to the platforms. Preview.app is my passion

Fares are technically collected on the train but I’ve never been on one with a working fare box, and either way it’s a free transfer to and from the Red Line⁶. Stops must be requested by pulling the overhead cord.

Split stations

Most subway stations have either a shared island platform, where you stand in between the tracks for the different directions, or a split platform, where the tracks are in the middle of platforms on either side. The Orange Line has a few stations which are neither, specifically State⁷, Downtown Crossing, and Chinatown. Due to constraints of building in the dense downtown, the tunnels for the different directions are stacked vertically to keep it more narrow. This also means the Northbound platforms are offset North from the Southbound platforms, since they couldn’t stack the platforms as well⁸, and so there are often a lot of enterences that are more spread out than usual.

I’m not sure how helpful this is if you aren’t already familiar with the layout, but it’s so cool I couldn’t not include it (http://stations.albertguillaumes.cat)

Downtown Crossing and State have walkways at the end of the platform which connect the two directions, although some street entrances say they only give access to a single platform, which I suspect is to discourage crowding on platforms from people walking through them. Chinatown however, is totally split, and requires you to walk out to the street to get across to the other platform. A top tip is that Google Maps actually shows the locations of specific enterences⁹ if you turn on the Transit layer.

Finally, some street running green line platforms are separated as well, so make sure you’re at the platform marked by the sign for the direction you’re going. Standing by the “FIRST CAR STOPS HERE” sign also always gives me confidence I’m in the right place. I could credit Google Maps here, but I’d rather live in the fantasy in which I used a drone for these shots

Paying fare

Traditionally, the T and busses ran on single-use CharlieTickets and reloadable CharlieCards¹⁰, both purchased at vending machine in stations. Now however, all T stations and busses allow tap-to-pay, using a smartphone or a credit/debit card. Unless you are using a non-standard ticket/pass (such as commuter benefits, paying with cash, reduced fare service, flat rate day passes, or nostalgia) there’s no reason not to use tap.

If you die in Preview.app, you die in real life ( https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Contactless_Fare_Reader_on_MBTA_faregate.jpg )

If you’re riding the Green or Silver Line, pay as you board unless the station has fare gates, in which case you don’t have to re-tap¹¹. GLX stations say you have to pre-pay your fare without boarding, but that’s not true anymore, just make sure you board at the front if you’re using a CharlieCard.

The commuter rail and ferries use zones, so individual tickets need to be purchased, either using the mTicket app, CharlieCard vending machines, or at the ticket counters in North & South station. I also think you can pay cash on board the train but I’ve never done it before¹².

Parking

The MBTA offers cheap and easy parking at many of its outer stations, which is a great option if you don’t want to deal with downtown parking. The MBTA webpage for each station has info on parking including cost and number of spaces. If it lists “Overnight: Available”, it means you can leave your car for multiple days. Stations I’ve used for this include Alewife on the Red line, Wellington on the Orange line, Wonderland on the Blue line, and Newburyport on Commuter Rail (can you tell I’m from Maine?). I generally choose pay-by-plate if it’s available, both because it’s impossible to go over the time limit like if you prepay, and because sometimes they forget to bill you at all.

Getting to the airport

Boston is lucky enough to have a well-connected airport very close to downtown. Because of this, there are a few options for getting to it besides driving or cabs.

Blue line

Airport service is at the aptly named Airport station. However, to actually get to the terminals, you need to board Logan specific shuttles which stop right outside the station. There are actually a few different shuttle routes, which just seems overcomplicated to me. Some shuttles theoretically get to the terminals faster, but honestly I always just get on the first one that stops at where I need to go.

SL1

The SL1 is the only rapid transit line that will drop you off directly at the terminal, so is my preferred option when coming from/transferring through downtown. It’s also free when boarding from the airport.

SL3 & 104 Bus

These bus lines will drop you off at Airport station, so they’re generally only the optimal route if you’re coming from somewhere directly served by them (like Chelsea), or you need to get on the shuttle anyway to go to the Rental Car Center or something.

Logan Express

Your best option if you live in Back Bay, or past i95. Ticket is round trip and parking is pretty cheap everywhere except Back Bay.

Ferry

I’ve never heard of anyone actually using this service. I would imagine the service from Hingham would be quite convenient, or from downtown if you’re whimsymaxxing. Requires a shuttle to reach the terminals.

Bus frequency

The busses in the Boston area are great for getting around areas that don’t have rapid transit lines: they’re far better than the bare-minimum bus service provided in other cities. However, one difference between them and the subway is the variation in frequency. Many lines, including those shown on the subway map, run at least every 15 minutes. However, other lines like ones going further out into the suburbs, only run a few times per day. This can especially be problematic for bus to bus transfers. I find the Transit app to be helpful here, since it’s easier to see how long you will need to wait than other apps.

Reliability

Throughout the 2010s, the MBTA (rightfully) earned a reputation for unreliability and general disfunction. However, I’m happy to say that there have been massive improvements to the system post-COVID. ( https://www.mass.gov/info-details/fair-share-is-making-public-transit-safer-more-affordable-more-reliable ) Trains arrive as frequently as I expect, the online bus tracking is accurate, and multiple people I know rely on the T for their daily commute despite having the option of driving. I don’t mean to glaze the system too much, there’s always room for improvement, but more to emphasize that it’s out of the crisis period that it went through from 2015-2022.

Boston

Gracenote

This looks vageuly like a stock image but I assure you it’s real¹

Gracenote was my go-to place for trips into Boston during high school and college, either to their location outside the Chinatown gate or on High Street. I get the sense they make most of their money from roasting/distributing beans (a few of the other places on this list use them), but their shops are great examples of third wave cafes, and serve a reliable latte. My absolute favorite is their cardamom coffee. Stop by if you’re passing through North Station.

Cuppacoffee

It’s smaller on the inside²

I really enjoy savory pies, but they’re a pretty niche item in the US. KO pies in East Boston was a fantastic spot for them, but I was only able to go once before they had to shut down. So, when I was looking around North Station for a coffee before getting on a train to Newburyport, I was very happy to see an Australian coffee shop that serves pies as well. For those who aren’t aware, Australia has a first class espresso culture; high quality coffee is available everywhere, even outback outposts where all the water has to be trucked in. Cuppa lives up to this heritage, my flat white (invented in Australia or possibly New Zealand) and breakfast pie both being lovely. I probably won’t go back a ton since I’m not often in the area in the morning, but it’s a fun place that’s outside the usual cafe routine.

Just Outside of Boston

Nine Bar Espresso

This came up on google images for the cafe and it made me laugh so much. Hmmmm indeed.³

After moving jobs from Billerica to a company based in Cambridge, I started staying with my girlfriends more on weekdays. Not only do I appreciate this due to “loving them” or whatever, but it also means that Nine Bar is now on my way to work. I love how I don’t even have to go in, as all orders are placed through a window on the sidewalk. Their lattes are a great, but my favorite item are actually the bagels. Usually I steer clear of getting food at places that don’t have a full kitchen (I’ve been burned by sad pastry cases too many times), but the bagels are fantastic. Warm, really high quality cream cheese, exactly what I want for breakfast. Check it out next time you’re in Davis Square.

Boston King Coffee

This is from a newspaper article from when it opened in 2008, as you can tell by the 2008 of it all. Also, seems really early for bubble tea⁴

The first time I went to this coffee shop, I was stopping by before touring an apartment that I now live in⁵, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t influence my decision to sign my lease since this cafe reminds me of my childhood. Boston King is a marvelous second wave cafe serving coffee drinks in a warm and welcoming environment. I get the sense a lot of families are regulars, and it reminds me of places my mom would take me during errands in early 00s California. The coffee is also fantastic, despite it being served in cups with an ad for a local car dealer printed on it. I don’t adore the food, but they sell tea and goods from Stonewall Kitchen, which came in handy when a porch pirate stole my office yankee swap gift the night before, and I had to improvise a last minute replacement the next morning.

Java’s Brewin

Look at this logo! Look at it!

The only option for lunch at my aforementioned job in Billerica if I forgot to bring one was a restaurant run by the landlords of the office park. It was a step below “high school football game concessions” in terms of quality, and I stopped going when I saw a customers dog walking in and out of the kitchen. This is why I was especially happy to discover Java’s Brewin nearby. This shop gives big 90s vibes: they may serve espresso, but they have to have an explanation of what it is on the menu, and I think I’ve seen someone order a latte only once. What people do order is large cups of delicious drip coffee, muffins in like 15 flavors, and phenomenal breakfast sandwiches. I refer to it as “Republican Coffee” due to all of the American flags and country music⁶ but everyone seems chill enough that it didn’t deter me. I recommend the hazelnut coffee, cranberry/blueberry muffins, and a bacon egg & cheese on focaccia with mayo/mustard

Cafe Reynard

Honestly this newspaper photo says all you need to know⁷

I can say with complete honesty that this is the only cafe I’ve ever found from a poster in a sex shop. Cafe Reynard is a coffee shop and roaster that shares a storefront with Idle Hands Brewery in Malden: I found about it by seeing an ad with the above barista posted to the wall in Hubba Hubba (RIP). The coffee here is on another level, it’s the only place I only drink coffee black since I find their brews taste better that way. Their roaster is usually working the counter and is happy to chat, I even bought a bag of beans early one Sunday and it was still warm. The crowd is also amazing here, chances are high you’ll see someone with a tail or ears. The donuts also do not fall victim to Sad Pastry Case syndrome, and are fucking amazing. Beware that due to their space sharing arrangement, the hours are a little funky.

The Cafe at Short Path Distillery

This post is quickly becoming a collection of staged photos for local papers, and honestly I’m here for it⁸

What this cafe lacks in name and location, it makes up for in coffee. It has a similar setup to Reynard in that they share space with a tasting room, but the two co-operate at the same time, unlike Reynard which closes before the brewery opens. I feel like house-made syrups are the new trend/differentiation in coffee, and Short Path delivers, with a rosemary-juniper latte that was not too sweet and delightfully earthy. My girlfriend and I went here after a Costco run which I feel is definitely the move. Everyone was super friendly, and we were able to pick up some bottles of liquor too. The space is also such a vibe, with all the old mill transmission equipment still up in the ceiling.

Maine

Backyard

⁹

Every Saturday morning during the summer and shoulder season, my family would drive to Ogunquit, buy coffee and sandwiches at Backyard, then walk a mile or two along the beach. The coffee and food are good, but honestly nothing to write home about given the price. However, the location is phenomenal, and they have never let us down in the years we’ve been going, even when absolutely slammed with tourists. They also employed many of my classmates who came back for multiple seasons, which I think it a pretty good endorsement of how they treat their employees.

Breakaway Coffee, née Flight

Oh hey, it’s this guy again!¹⁰

This was my number one hangout spot in high school, and when I was sent home from college during COVID, I would get takeout from there nearly every day. Flight has always had a very strong aesthetic, and their espresso is delicious with a unique taste that I’ve never had anywhere else (except when I brew with their beans at home). The seating is comfy, the food is unique but not too weird, it’s just a great cafe to be able to have in your town, even if it gets immensely busy nearly all the time these days. I did hear that the owners were uh, intense about things like staffing, but it was bought by the head chef a few years ago who changed the name, so hopefully things have improved. I also think the opening of Flight Coffee in Dover marked the beginning of its transition from Dirty Dover into Portsmouth 2, but you didn’t come here for my thoughts on Seacoast real estate.

Lil’s Cafe

mmmmm cruller¹¹

These are the best crullers I’ve ever had. Sure, Lil’s has other stuff like lattes and breakfast stuff but come on. You want the crullers. Soft, sweet, imagine me as Homer Simpson thinking about a donut right now. Their Almond Croissants take honorable mention for their prodigious use of marzipan, which is a win in my book. The crowd here on weekdays is an amusing mix of families with small children, and Shipyard employees stopping by before their shifts. Kittery’s only entry, which I’ve always been surprised how little coffee there is over there.

New York City

La Cabra

“Putting handles would disturb the balance of the property.” is a real quote from the Danish designer of their cups¹²

This place rules mainly because it looks exactly like what someone from rural Maine thinks a stuck up Manhattan coffee shop looks like. All the employees wear button up shirts, the espresso machines are built into the light wood counters, and they call the drink “espresso with milk” rather than a latte (how gauche). The coffee is great but probably not all that different from anywhere else. The pastries are super creative and look visually very cool, although their actual flavor is a little hit or miss. It would always feel like an occasion when I made it downtown during school.

SEY Coffee

*Takes drag off cigarette* Kid, this is the closest to Frutiger Aero you’re going to get¹³

While La Cabra only looks like an intimidating coffee shop, SEY actually is an intimidating coffee shop. I only went once, but the interior really strikes an impression with all of the plant life in a very industrial area. This cafe has been rated the best in the USA by a few people, and while I don’t claim to have that level of taste, it did feel special going there. SEY is mainly a roaster, and you can really tell that they’re serious about bean selection and giving real info about them instead of vague tasting notes. They’re also gratuity free which I am always a fan of. Check it out if you want to go full coffee nerd.

Super Nice Coffee and Bakery

They hand you the order out of the window on the right which is, frankly, completely wild¹⁴

If you ever go to Super Nice, it is absolutely imperative that you type in your phone number while you’re paying. I know that may seem weird, but their marketing texts are some of the most unhinged messages I’ve ever received, and they make me smile every time. Their pastries and donuts are delicious, and they have a really good selection of each. My favorite detail is that they have colored tiles on the menu for each flavor of donut, it makes it a little more fun to order. The coffee is also lovely, and I appreciate any cafe that’s only an ordering window (even if the stairs make things awkward). It’s also a cafe I really like in an area that, IMO, has a surprising lack of good espresso unless you have access to Columbia buildings. My favorite memory is working on assignments, getting a text from them advertising two-for-one donuts, and walking over in the pouring rain listening to TV Girl to obtain my cheap donuts.

1. Acquire a ham radio license. There are a few ways of doing this, but hamstudy.org is an invaluable prep tool. Tests are often available at university radio clubs, and I even took mine at an FFRDC, so I guess getting that clearance wasn’t for naught. After you pass the test, you’ll be given a number which you input into the FCC ULS to pay the fee and acquire your license.

   Note: This site is often is unavailable so try again at different times of day throughout the week.

2. (Optional) Apply for a vanity callsign. I highly recommend this, as it is fun and based. RadioQTH is a good resource to find ones available, although be sure to read the instructions at the top as it doesn’t index all available signs. Keep in mind that technician (i.e. lowest level) licenses are limited to 1x3 or 2x3 letter callsigns. After you’ve picked your three choices for callsign, apply in the FCC License Manager, and wait for it to be issued.

3. Fill out the Application for Ham Radio Operator Plates. “Plate number (if applicable)” implies that you can get these as the first plates for your car, but this seems like a bad idea to me. Not only is initial registration complicated enough here¹, but temp plates are only issued at RMV service centers (as opposed to the dealer giving you a plate), and you’d need it for possibly over two months.

4. Acquire and/or fill out the Massachusetts RTA.

Note: Dunking on government agencies is hack writing, and my interactions with the BMVs/RMVs of the state/commonwealth I have lived in have been almost universally positive. With that said, the idea of “what if we made one form for every possible RMV transaction” is irredeemable, and has resulted in one of the worst forms I have ever interacted with.

I started by my insurance company (GEICO) and requested “an RTA to apply for a vanity plate”. They partially filled out an RTA and sent it to me via DocuSign, along with a list of areas I needed to fill out

Section A: Select the transaction to be performed and provide plate number, if applicable.

Section B: For commercial policy vehicles: complete fields B10-B12

Section C: Current or previous title information; including certificate of origin for new vehicles

Section D: For owned or financed vehicles only, complete: D1, D3, D4, D6, D8 D9 and for co-owners D10, D12, D13, D15, D17 and D18).

NOTE: These fields are not to be completed on leased, business owned or trust vehicles. Section E: For leased vehicles only, complete: E1, (E4, for co-owners).

Section H: Lienholder code, if applicable

Section I: All fields are required to be filled out, either by the dealer or, for private sale, by you.

Section J: All fields are required to be filled out, either by the dealer or, for private sale, by you.

Section L: All fields are required to be filled out, either by the dealer or, for private sale, by you.

Section M: Sign and date only after reviewing ALL of the information for accuracy on the completed RTA.

After spotting a mistake and getting it reissued, I filled out the specified boxes in Docusign, sent it back for the stamp (I think?), then printed the stamped form and signed it. I suspect that this process varies somewhat between insurance companies.

Note: “Plate number” is your CURRENT plate, not your callsign. I also noticed while writing this that the “Previous title” fields had information from both the first title in my name, and the title of the previous owner so uh, I guess no one noticed lmao.

Note: I was told by the person I bought my car from that Massachusetts allows one registration with an out of state license, but I don’t see any evidence of that online, and nothing on the form suggests you can’t re-register with an out of state license². Your milage (ha!) may vary.

7.Write a 40 dollar check/money order. If you don’t have a check, some banks issue checkbooks for free. Additionally, a bank branch can cut a onetime check for you, or you can purchase a money order at a post office³ with cash or a debit⁴ card.

8.Hey, since you’re already at the post office for your money order, you can put everything into an envelope it, smack a stamp on it (or buy one-off postage), and mail it to the address specified. I received no confirmation of anything, and it took roughly 9 weeks to receive my plate in the mail, along with the new title. Good luck!

So to put us into perspective, I had made this huge, life changing, nebulous decision to transition. The weird thing about transition is that actually doing it is a very worldly and almost procedural process that doesn’t have much immediate feedback into the big feels that started everything. I also felt like I went through the major steps a lot of trans folks do quite quickly. This is partially because I am impatient, partially because I wasn’t super comfortable in a state that I felt like was in-between, and partially because I wanted to be “finished” by the time I started my first full-time job and met a bunch of new people. Here’s what happened:

As I am a niche internet micro celebrity¹, coming out naturally started by Posting. I had been talking about gender stuff with a friend, and she encouraged me to make a post for National Coming Out day in October. I thought it would be a good time to be like “hey I’m questioning, so if you see me trying gender stuff, that’s why”, as I knew I’d be out online before doing anything in real. This is a little silly in retrospect since people would be able to figure it out, but I was scared and wanted to take some control. Due to the day, and me apparently giving “huge egg vibes”, most people took this post instead as “Mia’s finally out everyone :D”. This response was both incredibly touching and also mortifying as I already felt like I had bitten off more than I could chew. Multiple people asked me my new name, which I had given zero thought to. I’ve always been ambivalent towards names, I kinda wish I didn’t need one at all, but my former name is very gendered so it would’ve kept coming up. I tried “Ash” after seeing it in a “list of cute transfemme names” on TikTok, but enough people make Pokemon jokes over the few days that I abandoned it. I liked the short name, so I asked the then-new ChatGPT to come up with a name like Ash for me; it spit out Mia, and I liked it!

The rest of Fall semester ‘23 involved talking about it with my close friends, and a lot of soul searching. I lived with three roommates, and them using my new name and identity was incredibly affirming, and made me feel like I was on the right path. How I dressed was a huge part of my current dysphoria, so I also started buying new clothes: I already had a hard enough time navigating clothing stores, so I stuck to online. Amazon Basics was a great way to get clothes that were cheap and easy to return, great for figuring out what I liked to wear without feeling like I was taking too much of a risk. Stitchfix was also incredibly helpful early on, since I was able to just put in a few measurement/sizes and I get nice clothes in the mail.

I made the decision to not come out at school since I was part way through senior year and most of my social circle I knew through other means. Although it led to some awkward situations, I’m glad I did, since it would’ve been more trouble than it’s worth. I started thinking about HRT over Christmas break, encouraged by one friend in particular. I was intrigued by its effects but worried about weight gain, if I would look strange after going on it, and its effects on sexual activity. However, having masculine attractive features was something I didn’t want in the first place, so loosing it was in fact the goal, even if I was “giving something up".

This decision also forced me to think about fertility preservation, since that needs to be performed before HRT. It was deeply strange to make such a definite decision about having children at a time when it would otherwise be far outside my mind, but a friend and I had a really great conversation about how important the experience of pregnancy can be for people, and how if I could leave that possibility open for future partners, I should. I went with a service called Legacy, which is done entirely via mail, and significantly cheaper than other options. The site also gives millennial DTC startup vibes, which gives me pause about their longevity, but who knows. I was happy with how the process went, although it felt very weird throughout, and now I don’t really think about it all that much, despite being ambivalent to glad I did it. Protip: you need to do a bloodtest before, but there’s some law in NY and NJ that makes the collection process way more difficult than if I had lived anywhere else, so I’d recommend just getting the tests done at a clinic.

With that done, I wanted to start the HRT process. However, I was moving states in a few months, so felt hesitant to start the process then immediately have to change providers. Luckily, a friend recommended a telehealth clinic called QueerMD, which specializes in HRT. I somehow got an onboarding appointment the next day, and was able to start soon after. QMD is an amazing informed consent clinic, and I’d recommend them to anyone comfortable with Telehealth looking for HRT. I was put on an ramping course of estradiol and bicaludamide pills, which has worked well. For Boston area folks, I know many people happy with their care at Fenway Health, however I have heard they don’t perscribe bicaludamide (not sure if this is still the case), which is unfortunate since I’m quite happy with it over spirolactone’s more pronounced side effects.

Next on my goals for Spring was changing the name and gender marker on my ID. Since I moved around a lot during college, where I would even file the paperwork was unclear, but since my driver’s license was still issued by Maine (the state I grew up in), I filed it there despite not actually living in Maine at the time. Maine is quite easy to file a name change in: I filled out [this one page form](https://www.maineprobate.net/forms2019/Name Change Adult/CN-1 Petition Name Change Adult.pdf), and took it to the apparently haunted county courthouse to file. They then sent me my hearing date, along with a request to file a full credit report and proof that I had notified any creditors I owed more than a certain amount of money to. They didn’t actually say how to file a credit report (and I happened to owe over the amount on my credit card when the report was filed) so I printed out the FreeCreditReport.com page, my credit card statement, and a note explaining everything with my signature, put it all in an envelope and FedEx’ed it to the courthouse. This was evidently sufficient to show I was not dodging creditors, and they even mailed everything back to me. On my court date, I showed up and sat on a bench in the hallway, then was called into a room behind a frosted glass door. To my complete shock, it was a real court room with the prosecutor/defendant tables, a gallery, a recorder, and even a fucking bailiff. The judge walked in and gave an incredibly touching speech of which I remember absolutely none of since I was so nervous, he banged his gavel, and my name was changed. A few tips about this:

1. The court order is what you need to change your social security card (needed for I-9 verification), driver’s license, and passport, which are the main forms of ID in the USA, so you need it first.
2. I didn’t feel the need to change my birth certificate, as none of the other ID changes needed that, and besides that I didn’t really see a reason to. Also, I had gotten a re-issued birth certificate from Tulare County and it was a fucking nightmare, so I didn’t want to do it again.
3. Try not to do this while living out of state. The court date was randomly assigned, so I had to get from Manhattan to Maine and back on a random Tuesday
4. Request multiple copies of the court order if it is possible, both as a backup, and because you need to send originals to change other documents.
5. Try to have someone go with you to court. It is quite nerve-wracking, especially if you’ve never been in a court room, and it would’ve been nice to have some backup

After I graduated, I was planning on returning to a company I had interned at, and so needed to inform them of my new name. This was incredibly nerve-wracking as it was the first time I was in the world as a woman to people who aren’t my friends/family. Additionally, electrical engineering is not known as the most queer field, so I was probably the first transgender person most of my coworkers had interacted with regularly. I wrote a short email to my boss and HR after I got my return offer, he congratulated me, and it was the end of that. I also never felt uncomfortable at work being trans, which was an occasional concern, so if any former coworkers are reading this, thanks for being chill. I also rushed my ID changes so I would be official by the time I started, which ended up not really being necessary, since the only time I had to use my legal name was with one person who was onboarding me. Changing the name on my social security card also fucked up my credit reporting for a few months, which made buying a car a huge pain, so I wish I had waited until I was settled. Not a big deal in the grand-scheme, but something to keep in mind.

Despite having done a lot of the big bureaucratic stuff by May ’24, I still am growing as a woman and developing my skills and tastes around my new identity, and hope I continue to do so for a long time. Some final advice that I couldn’t quite fit in other places:

1. Transition wasn’t quite what my perception of it from seeing things online was. Specifically, there are a LOT of people taking very different paths then what is generally thrown around as the expected action items. People are also a lot more judgmental and scared online than in real life.
2. Despite being queer, there are still significant beauty and body standards for transfemmes², especially in porn. Be cautious of that, especially if you’re thinking that someone who looks like you couldn’t be a woman, because you probably can!
3. Passing isn’t really a binary thing, and is affected by tons of factors, ones you can and can’t control
4. More people are completely cool with trans people than you may think, and probably see you actually as your gender, rather than just remembering to use the pronouns you told them. It can sometimes take shockingly little.
5. Having trans friends I could confide in and help me made this all possible. I know this isn’t super actionable, and for that I’m sorry, but it really got me through the hard parts.

Thanks for listening, and Happy pride!

1. I tried to tweak the RSS generation for this to include full text, but I’m a little foggy on if that messes with readers, so resubscribe if something is off.
2. This is part of one of a two-parter, but part two is already out, Back to the Future style.
3. This is long, personal, and naval gazing, so buckle up, since it’s pride month and I can do what I want.
4. CW for talking about dysphoria and transition.
5. My partner Brooke also wrote a post about gender and transition, so go read it after mine, as her blog is nothing but amazing articles in my biased opinion :)

As I write this, I came out as transgender roughly a year and a half ago. So, in celebration of pride month, I wanted to talk about how I realized that I needed to, getting over my fears around transition, and some practical talk about how I did it. I’m writing this half to document it for myself, half as modeling for other folks who may be feeling similar things to me, and half for visibility to non-trans folks about one girls perspective.

Unlike basically all my other big life developments, I can point to two specific days that caused me to transition¹. The first was the Portland, ME pride parade on June 18th, 2022. It was the first pride event² I had been to post-peak-Corona, and to be honest I was having a pretty shitty time. Throughout my life, I had always felt like I didn’t fit in as a queer person despite having been out as bi for years, and it was hitting hard that day. I decided to leave early, and was walking back to my car alongside the parade route. I remember seeing all these women there and feeling like all of the failings I had around my presentation and ill-fit into masculinity were accepted and even celebrated in them. I thought that if only I was a woman, things would fit so much better for me, and it just be so nice. Having been out as queer for several years, and knowing many trans people both on and off line, this immediately set off alarm bells³ in my head. The rest of that summer I dabbled with gender presentation (specifically clothes), but really had a hard time with it. I was barely 21 at the time, my life was rapidly changing, and so returning to New York City⁴ and starting my first long-term relationship caused me to kind of forget about those feelings for the next school year.

Fast forward to the end of Summer 2023, and I was living in Boston for an internship.⁵. That summer, I got to know in person some trans people that I had met through Twitter⁶. There was one specific day where a group of us took the ferry to East Boston and just…hung out. I felt so free with them to be feminine and for that to be ok. Through their example, I saw life as a transgender person was not signing up for a life of constant persecution and insecurity that it often is portrayed as, but just a thing someone can do and keep living well. It can be an improvement to life, rather than something people are forced into by the specter of dysphoria. That day, transition went from something I thought of from time to time, to basically my top priority besides not fucking up my last year of university.

However, I also had a lot of fear, uncertainty, and doubt around it which would take a few months to work through. Despite being incredibly sure of my decision to transition, I was still torn about basically everything else. I couldn’t really pin down why I felt I felt all of these things, and so making decisions more specific than “gender please” was really difficult. I’ve always prided myself on making optimal (or at least logical) decisions around most things in my life. But for this, I really had to act on faith that the changes I was making would make me feel better, and be ok with that being reason enough. I am NOT a person who EVER acts on faith, and I felt like I was starting from scratch in terms of how I make decisions. But through lots of crying, conversations with people in my life, and just holding on to all the euphoria I could get, I managed to get the ball rolling.

Transition is a difficult thing to wrap your head around. I’m autistic and have struggled with weight issues most of my life, so intensely considering my body and appearance to others was not something that came easily nor comfortably. I also am exceptionally tall, even among men, which made passing feel ridiculous to even desire. It would be nice to say that I’ve gotten over this and feel great about that side of things, but I don’t all the time! I still find it incredibly difficult to look in mirrors, and am often somewhat uncomfortable with my appearance. I’m not even sure I worry less about it now than I did before. But when I do feel good about how I look, I am so much happier about it than I ever was before. Additionally, working on myself is now so much easier and hopeful that it was before, so a pretty good deal overall.

I had been around a lot of trans spaces in the years leading up to my transition, and had always felt a little left out. Looking back, it was probably because I Wanted To Transition, but super early, it sometimes felt like my feelings were secretly just desire to be a part of the in-group. This made me feel almost predatory in some ways. But pretty soon after I came out, I was comfortable enough to admit that I really wanted for many reasons. Even if those feelings had been true, I probably would’ve realized that I had desire for other reasons, and taken my identity down another path. I wish I had the confidence to not be so worried that I was transitioning for the wrong reasons, and have faith that people would give me the benefit of the doubt in the event I realized I was wrong.

So, that was a fair amount of negativity all up front, which honestly is how I process things in general. Indeed, the very early process involved a lot of anxiety and feeling like I was completely unmoored in both life and my emotions. However, every single thing has been unquestionably worth it. I feel proud of and thrilled by who I am for the first time. I don’t feel discomfort whenever my name is used, and I feel good wearing clothes outside two safe outfits. I love being a women, and being able to be a woman for my partners and friends. I feel graceful and soft, and cute, and sublime. I love having breasts, and all the other physical changes HRT has brought me. I love not having to do the work I constantly felt like I had to do to maintain my manhood. And I love the community, and what being not only a woman, but a transgender woman brings me! Everything just feels so much more vibrant now. I’m probably doing a bit of a disservice to you, my dear reader, by only having this section be a paragraph, but trust me when I say that it was the best decision I could’ve made.

Link to Part two