Everyday Contentment

The Dawn Chorus: Blackbirds, Thrushes and the Humble Heroes of the Garden

Sat, 05 Sep 2026 19:06:34 GMT

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They are back. Or rather they have got very much louder, because I don’t suppose they ever really went anywhere. This past week I have been woken a good while before I needed to be and I am not the least bit cross about it. The dawn chorus has started up in earnest again. It begins with one bird somewhere down towards the bush, then another answers from further off, and within a few minutes the whole garden is at it and there is no going back to sleep, so I lie there in the dark and listen instead.

The blackbird is the flutey one. Long, unhurried phrases from the highest branch he can find, and then a pause, as though he is waiting to hear whether anybody has anything better to offer. (Nobody has!) The thrush is the one that repeats itself, the same bright phrase two or three times over before it moves along to the next one, and once you have noticed that you cannot un-notice it, ever again.

I have written about the blackbird before, a winter or so ago, and I gave him rather a starring role. I stand by all of it. But I do think I short-changed the thrush, so this is me putting that right.

Because the thrush is the one doing the actual work out there. It is the snail eater. It carries one off to a favourite stone, cracks it open on that same stone over and over, and the broken shells build up around it- an anvil, apparently, is the proper word for it, which I rather love. Free pest control, delivered daily, in exchange for absolutely nothing! I knew those little heaps of shells as a girl in England and I had quite forgotten about them until this week.

Something else I looked up, and had never once thought about in all the years I have lived here: neither of them is a New Zealand bird at all. Both were brought out on the ships in the 1860s by settlers who were homesick for the birds they had grown up with, and let go here on purpose. Which I find rather touching, and a bit mad- all that trouble and all those miles just so that the mornings would sound like home. They were common garden birds where I grew up in England, both of them, the sort you see without ever thinking about it, and here they are outside my window on the other side of the world.

And it is proper spring now, or very nearly. The mornings come lighter every week, the coffee has gone back out onto the deck, and the washing dries on the line the way it is supposed to instead of hanging about damp all afternoon. The daffodils and the early cheer are out, the magnolias and the blossom are going, and the hydrangeas have bright new shoots unfurling into leaves.

The tui gets all the fuss around here and fair enough, it is a magnificent-looking thing. But it is the plain brown thrush and the plain black blackbird that turn up EVERY morning, doing the singing and the snails, asking for nothing whatsoever. Ordinary, and completely reliable, and free. I keep turning this over and I haven’t quite worked out how to say it properly…. something about a thing not needing to be rare to be worth getting out of bed for. Perhaps it doesn’t need saying at all.

Anyway. I am so very grateful for them, and for a whole week of mornings that begin like this. The sky is going pink at the edges now, so I am off out to the deck with a coffee before they all quieten down for the day.

Until next week x

Self care, little indulgences and a wholistic approach

Sat, 29 Aug 2026 19:24:12 GMT

There is something wonderfully indulgent about climbing into freshly washed bed linen with a good book while rain taps softly against the windows.

No plans. Nowhere to be. Just that delicious feeling of knowing the evening is entirely your own.

For me, these are the moments that remind me that self-care doesn’t have to mean booking an expensive treatment or spending an afternoon at a spa. Sometimes it is as simple as freshly washed hair, clean sheets and taking the time to apply your makeup without rushing. Investing in quality supplements and good nutritious food. Spending 30 or 40 minutes stretching or practising yoga. Other times, it might be a little splurge- like the massage I’ve booked for tomorrow!

I think the real luxury is having the freedom to choose what feels good to you.

Self-care doesn’t have to cost a thing

We often talk about self-care as though it comes with a price tag, but some of the loveliest rituals are completely free.

A quiet evening at home can be incredibly restorative. Putting your phone away, making a cup of tea, changing into your favourite pyjamas and settling down with a book can feel like a reset button after a busy week.

Even washing your hair can become a small pleasure when you stop treating it as another task to tick off your list. Take your time. Enjoy the warmth of the shower. Let your freshly washed hair dry while you potter around the house.

And there is something particularly lovely about getting ready when you don’t have to be anywhere.

Applying makeup slowly, rather than frantically trying to get out the door, changes the whole experience. Put on your favourite products, take your time with them and enjoy the little ritual of it.

Self-care can simply be not rushing.

Make the everyday feel a little more luxurious

Sometimes it isn’t about buying anything new; it’s about changing the way we experience what we already have.

I love arranging my beauty products so that getting ready feels a little more spa-like. Decanting things, tidying bottles, displaying the products I actually use and keeping everything clean and organised can make an ordinary bathroom feel surprisingly luxurious.

Then there are those tiny sensory pleasures that cost almost nothing.

A spritz of a favourite fragrance, fresh towels, a candle burning while you get ready for bed, the first page of a new book, clean pyjamas, freshly laundered sheets.

These little moments are easy to overlook because they are ordinary. But perhaps that is precisely what makes them so wonderful. We don’t always need a grand gesture to feel cared for.

Turn your shower into a treatment

A shower can be much more than something you squeeze into between everything else.

Every now and then, I love turning it into a proper at-home treatment.

A luxurious body scrub, warm water, freshly washed hair and a favourite soap can make the simplest shower feel like a mini spa appointment. Occasionally I’ll use a shower steamer too, as I received a box of them as a gift I’m eeking out to last.

There is something deeply satisfying about exfoliating, rinsing everything away and stepping out with soft, moisturised skin.

And if you have a little more time, why not put on a face mask afterwards?

You don’t have to spend an hour on an elaborate beauty routine. Even fifteen minutes can feel like a pause button.

The bubble-bath kind of evening

Then there are evenings when only a bath will do.

Run the water, add bubbles or salts, put on some music and leave the outside world where it belongs — outside the bathroom door.

A bath doesn’t have to be productive. You don’t need to listen to a podcast, answer messages or learn something while you’re in there.

You can simply soak.

I think we’ve become so accustomed to filling every spare moment that doing absolutely nothing can feel almost rebellious.

Sometimes self-care is allowing yourself to be gloriously unproductive.

At-home treatments can be surprisingly satisfying

There are also plenty of beauty rituals that sit somewhere between everyday pleasure and a proper splurge.

I love doing little treatments at home, whether that’s using red light therapy, tinting my own eyebrows or giving myself a longer-than-usual skincare routine.

There is a particular satisfaction in knowing how to do some of these things yourself. Not only can it save money, but it means you can build them into your routine whenever it suits you. We live out of town, so sometimes having to go somewhere a drive away takes the luxury out of the experience.

And there is something quite lovely about becoming your own beauty therapist for an evening.

Put everything you need within reach. Make yourself comfortable. Turn the bathroom into your little treatment room.

You might be surprised how luxurious home can feel.

Choosing where to spend

Of course, there are times when spending money on yourself feels completely justified.

The trick, for me, is deciding what is actually worth spending on.

Tomorrow, I’ve booked myself a massage — and I already know I’m going to enjoy every minute of it. Even getting there.

There is something different about having someone else take care of you for an hour. You don’t have to prepare anything, perform the treatment yourself or think about what’s next. You simply lie there and let someone else do the work.

For someone else, that might be the hair salon.

For another person, it might be getting their nails done.

It could be a facial, a pedicure, a beautiful piece of skincare or something completely unrelated to beauty.

The point isn’t that we should all spend money on the same things. It’s about working out which experiences genuinely make you feel cared for.

I’d much rather occasionally spend money on something I really look forward to than constantly buy little things that don’t actually add much to my life.

A massage I will remember feels far more luxurious to me than another bottle of something sitting unopened in the bathroom cabinet.

There is no right way to self-care

Perhaps the most important thing is that self-care doesn’t need to look a particular way.

It doesn’t have to be expensive, or aesthetic, or involve candles, silk robes and a perfectly organised bathroom.

It can be a $0 evening curled up in bed with a book, a bubble bath, or tinting your eyebrows at home. It can be taking twenty minutes to do your makeup when normally you only have five, washing your hair and enjoying how lovely it feels afterwards, or your favourite fragrance sprayed onto your wrists simply because you like the smell. Or it can be booking the massage you’ve been thinking about all week.

Self-care is really just a way of saying I matter too.

And perhaps on a rainy Saturday night, with fresh sheets, a book and nowhere else to be, that can be enough.

Tonight, I’m choosing the simple version- and tomorrow, the massage. Both count.

The Quiet Luxury of a Nap

Sat, 15 Aug 2026 19:25:24 GMT

For most of my life, I have regarded napping with a certain suspicion.

A nap felt like wasted time. An indulgence. Perhaps even a small sign of weakness.

I was not a napper.

Even as a brand-new, thoroughly sleep-deprived parent, when a precious window of opportunity appeared and someone suggested I sleep while the baby slept, I resisted. There were things to be done. The day was already too short. Surely sleeping in the middle of it was somehow cheating.

And then, of course, there was the aftermath.

I would wake feeling groggy and disoriented, inevitably craving something crunchy and sugary — cookies, chocolate-covered Scotch Fingers, anything that could deliver an immediate little jolt of comfort. Then I would worry that the nap had ruined my sleep for that night, which seemed to confirm my long-held suspicion that naps were more trouble than they were worth.

So I simply didn’t nap.

For decades.

Perhaps it was partly inherited. My mother is not a napper either. My father, on the other hand, thoroughly enjoys his naps. Given the opportunity, he will happily settle into an armchair and disappear for a while.

My husband is much the same. If time allowed, I suspect he would happily take an hour-long nap every day.

Although the girls and I have mercilessly ribbed him for years about the startled way he wakes from one — however gentle the intentions of the person attempting to rouse him.

There is something wonderfully universal about a sleeping man suddenly returning to consciousness as though he has just been summoned from another dimension.

And then there were my grandparents- they were professionals!

Every afternoon, my grandfather would make a little nest for Grannie. In winter, she would be tucked up like a fragile little bird beside the hearth; in summer, he would find her a shady spot in the garden. They called it forty winks.

It was simply part of the rhythm of their day.

No guilt, no productivity anxiety, no checking the clock and calculating whether they had somehow squandered an hour- just rest.

I think I am finally beginning to understand it.

Now that my girls are grown, I find myself at home in the quiet more frequently. The house has changed. There is less rushing, less noise, fewer demands pulling me in ten directions at once.

And every now and then, after a productive morning, I find myself with an afternoon that has nowhere in particular to be.

So I nap, on purpose. I don’t collapse into bed exhausted or accidentally fall asleep in front of the television. I actually prepare for it.

I prop the dress pillows on the bed behind me so I can nestle into them. I pull the throw blanket from the end of the bed over myself. I silence my phone. I put a book nearby.

And then I lie down for thirty or forty minutes of absolutely nothing being required of me.

Sometimes I don’t even sleep deeply. Sometimes I simply drift in that delicious space between waking and dreaming, where the body becomes heavy and the mind finally stops trying to organise the next thing.

And the sounds around me become part of it- our stream babbling outside, birdsong, rain on the roof, the distant hum of a mower, the steady ticking of the clock.

And, if I’m particularly fortunate, the rumble of one of my cats, who has apparently decided that my nap is an invitation to join me.

Cats, naturally, are experts at this.

They have never once looked at a sunny patch of floor and thought, I really ought to be doing something productive.

They understand instinctively what I have taken most of my life to learn: rest is not something you earn only after everything else has been done.

Rest is part of life.

There is something almost ridiculously luxurious about a nap when you allow yourself to fully surrender to it.

Not luxury in the expensive or extravagant sense. There is no hotel suite, cashmere robe or champagne involved.

This is a quieter kind of luxury- time, silence, and knowing that, for half an hour, nobody needs anything from you.

Perhaps that is why I still feel a tiny flicker of guilt sometimes.

Thirty minutes can feel enormous when you have spent a lifetime measuring your worth by what you accomplish in those thirty minutes.

I still occasionally wake from a nap and have that fleeting thought: Shouldn’t I have been doing something?

But I’m learning to let the thought pass.

Because I am doing something.

I am resting.

And when I get up, I often feel better for it. Not always perfectly refreshed, not magically transformed, but softer somehow. More patient. More present.

Perhaps the greatest surprise is that the nap itself has become less important than the permission I give myself to take it.

I am learning that self-care doesn’t always have to be worthy or disciplined or productive.

Sometimes it can simply feel wonderful.

Sometimes it can be a little indulgent.

Sometimes it can be forty winks beside the fire, just as it was for my grandparents all those years ago.

And perhaps there is something rather lovely about finally becoming good at something my father and grandparents understood all along.

I think I am finally a napper- and it is sheer quiet luxury!

An Evening of Mystery, Memories and the Simple Joy of Going to the Theatre

Sun, 09 Aug 2026 01:59:22 GMT

There is something rather wonderful about getting dressed up, heading out for the evening, meeting friends for good food, and then settling into your seat to watch a live performance unfold in front of you.

This week, I had exactly that pleasure. A meal with friends, followed by Agatha Christie’s The Stranger at the Pump House Theatre. And somewhere between the first course and the final twist, I found myself thinking about how much (and how little) the world of entertainment has changed.

There is a particular magic to a theatre that you simply don’t get from watching something on a screen at home.

The Pump House has that feeling of anticipation that seems to belong especially to live theatre. You find your seat, look around at the people gathered for the evening, hear the conversations and laughter, and then there is that lovely moment when the lights begin to go down. For a few hours, everyone in the room agrees to suspend reality and enter another world.

And with Agatha Christie, you know you’re entering a world where something is not quite as it seems.

The pleasure of a good whodunnit

I have always loved the particular thrill of a whodunnit.

There is something delicious about being given clues and then trying to put them together before the characters do. You find yourself watching everyone a little more closely. A glance becomes suspicious. A seemingly innocent comment suddenly feels significant. You start changing your mind about who you trust.

And, of course, there is the inevitable moment when you think you’ve worked it all out- only to discover that you haven’t!

That is part of the fun.

But watching a Christie story performed live adds another dimension. You are not simply consuming the story; you are sharing the experience with a room full of other people. You can almost feel the collective concentration as everyone tries to solve the mystery.

There is laughter, surprise, suspicion and that wonderful little ripple that goes through an audience when something unexpected happens.

It is entertainment, certainly, but it is also participation.

A glimpse into another world

What I particularly enjoyed about The Stranger was the way those little details of another era kept revealing themselves.

The language, the manners, the expectations, the relationships between men and women- and the assumptions about what was respectable, what was acceptable and, perhaps most importantly, who was expected to have the power.

The world of Christie’s stories was shaped by a society in which men generally held far more social, financial and domestic authority than women. There were strong expectations around marriage, behaviour, reputation and a woman’s role in society.

Some of those attitudes can feel almost quaint to us now. Others make you stop and think.

Because while society has changed enormously, not all of those old assumptions disappeared when the decades moved on.

We still see echoes of those social norms today — in expectations around gender, in who is assumed to take responsibility, in whose voice carries most weight in a room, and in the subtle ways people are judged differently according to whether they are men or women.

That is one of the fascinating things about revisiting stories from another era. They become little time capsules.

You can enjoy the plot and the drama while simultaneously noticing the social world in which the story was created.

And sometimes those little reminders of the past are more thought-provoking than the obvious ones.

From the dining table to the theatre

Perhaps that’s also why the whole evening felt so satisfying.

It wasn’t just about seeing a play- it was the pleasure of getting together.

There is something wonderfully old-fashioned about sitting around a table with friends, eating beautiful food, talking, laughing and taking your time. We spend so much of modern life rushing from one thing to another, eating quickly, scrolling through our phones and filling every quiet moment.

A restaurant meal followed by live theatre feels different.

You are deliberately creating an evening.

You are making space for conversation. You are enjoying food not simply because you need to eat, but because food is part of the experience. You are sharing stories with people you enjoy. Then you move from the restaurant into the theatre and share another experience with a room full of strangers.

It is such a simple pleasure, really.

Good food, good company, a story, a comfortable seat and the lights going down- sometimes we don’t need anything more complicated than that.

How entertainment has changed

It is fascinating to think about how differently we entertain ourselves now.

Entertainment has become almost endlessly available. We can watch films and television whenever we want. We can pause them, rewind them, binge an entire series in a weekend or have an algorithm recommend something else before we’ve even decided whether we enjoyed what we just watched.

We carry music, films, books, games and social media around in our pockets.

There is enormous freedom in that.

But there is also something quite lovely about entertainment that requires you to leave the house.

Theatre asks something of us. We have to be there at a particular time. We can’t pause it. We can’t go back and watch a scene again. If something happens on stage, it happens once, in that moment, in front of us.

And that makes it feel alive.

Perhaps that’s why theatre has survived all the technological revolutions that were supposed to make it obsolete.

Theatre has something technology can’t quite replicate.

There are real people on a real stage, performing for a real audience, and everyone in that room is experiencing the same thing at the same time.

The little reminders of a different era

One of the pleasures of an evening like this is noticing the details that transport you somewhere else.

The costumes. The language. The social etiquette. The relationships. The assumptions that the characters make without even questioning them.

They remind us that the way we live now isn’t the way people have always lived.

Our own social rules can feel completely natural because we’re surrounded by them every day. It takes a story from another period to make us notice just how much of society is constructed around expectations.

And perhaps that is one of the unexpected gifts of a good play.

It entertains us, but it also holds up a mirror — sometimes to ourselves, and sometimes to the world we have inherited.

An evening well spent

Walking out of the theatre after The Stranger, I was left with that particularly contented feeling that comes from having spent an evening well.

There had been the anticipation of the meal, the pleasure of eating beautiful food with friends, the atmosphere of the Pump House, the excitement of the performance and the delicious uncertainty of trying to work out the mystery.

For a few hours, we had stepped away from the noise of everyday life and into somebody else’s story.

And perhaps that’s what I love most about going to the theatre- being transported.

It is about sitting in the dark with a room full of people and allowing yourself to wonder, suspect, laugh and be surprised. It is about encountering a world from another time and recognising both how far we’ve travelled and how many old ideas still linger around us.

And then, when the lights come up, you step back into your own world — perhaps seeing it just a little differently.

Good food, good friends, live theatre, and a mystery to solve; a picturesque setting and driving home over the harbour bridge with the city glittering in the harbour’s reflections.

What more could you ask for from an evening?

The Courage to Believe Before It's Proven

Fri, 31 Jul 2026 03:33:59 GMT

“I think you have to have faith in people before they earn it, otherwise it’s not faith, right?” — Daisy Jones & The Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Every now and then, a single sentence stops me in my tracks. This was one of those moments.

We often think of trust as something that must be earned. We build it brick by brick through consistency, honesty, and time. And that’s true—trust is precious. But faith is something different- it asks us to believe before we have proof.

It’s easy to believe in someone after they’ve succeeded. It’s easy to cheer for the person who’s already crossed the finish line or to support the friend who’s finally figured things out. The harder, braver choice is believing in people while they’re still stumbling, doubting themselves, or trying to find their way.

How many of us are where we are today because someone saw potential in us before we could see it ourselves?

Maybe it was a teacher who encouraged you when your grades didn’t reflect your ability. A parent who believed you could chase a dream that seemed impossible. A friend who reminded you of your worth after you’d forgotten it.

We all carry the memory of someone else’s faith- and perhaps that’s why it’s worth offering the same to others.

Believing in people doesn’t mean ignoring red flags or accepting harmful behaviour. Healthy boundaries still matter. Discernment still matters. But I’d rather choose hope over cynicism, and assume people are capable of change.

Sometimes the greatest gift we can give isn’t advice or solutions. Sometimes it’s simply saying, “I believe in you.”

Those words remind someone that they are more than their mistakes, or their fears, or the season they’re currently living through.

What if we extended that same grace to ourselves?

We’re often our own harshest critics, waiting until we’ve achieved something before allowing ourselves to feel worthy. We tell ourselves we’ll be confident when we’re successful, proud when we’re perfect, or hopeful when we have certainty.

But what if we believed in ourselves before we’d “earned” it?

What if faith wasn’t a reward for success but the very thing that made success possible?

Life rarely offers guarantees. Relationships don’t come with certainty. Dreams don’t arrive with a promise they’ll work out. Yet we keep showing up, loving, trying, and hoping anyway.

Maybe that’s what faith really is.

It’s choosing to see possibility where others see uncertainty, believing people can become more than they are today, and trusting that the confidence we offer someone can change everything.

So today, choose to believe in someone.

Send the encouraging message, say the kind words, celebrate the small steps.

Because sometimes people don’t need proof that they’re capable.

Sometimes they just need someone who believes they are.

Shopping Without Shopping: The Little Ritual That's Changing My Mindset

Sat, 25 Jul 2026 21:02:35 GMT

I’ve stumbled into a new little ritual lately, and it’s quietly becoming one of the healthiest habits I’ve picked up in a long time.

I call it shopping without shopping.

Not never shopping. That would be unrealistic (and frankly, a bit joyless). But shopping without buying. Browsing, trying things on, appreciating beautiful pieces… and then walking away.

My new tactic is wonderfully simple. If I find something I love, I take a photo. Sometimes it’s hanging on the rack, sometimes it’s me wearing it in the changing room, imagining the life we could have together. Then I leave.

That’s it.

I go home. I literally sleep on it.

I let the little rush of adrenaline and dopamine (the intoxicating “buy it now before someone else does!” feeling) wear off before making any decisions.

And the funny thing is, not once have I gone back. NOT once!

Instead, I’ve been left with something even better than a new dress or another pair of shoes: a quietly smug sense of restraint. A reminder that wanting something doesn’t mean I need to own it.

It’s surprisingly satisfying.

The Exception to the Rule…

There is, however, one glorious loophole.

Second-hand shopping- op shops, goodwill stores, recycled clothing boutiques!

Recently, I discovered a “Fill a Bag” day at a recycled clothing boutique. Even better? I had a forgotten $20 note tucked away inside an infrequently used handbag, so it felt like found money—the very best kind.

The haul?

A pair of bone-coloured Top End leather Mary Janes that genuinely look as though they’ve only been worn once.

A deep tan Oroton handbag—perfect for evenings out or those days when I don’t need to lug my entire life around with me.

And a gloriously chunky wool cardigan.

I’m still quietly buzzing from the thrill of finding such beautiful quality for so little money.

There’s something deeply satisfying about rescuing well-made pieces and giving them another chapter. It scratches the shopping itch without feeding the endless cycle of consumption.

Pressing Pause

This tiny act of delaying a purchase has done something unexpected.

It’s pulled me out of that sneaky little vortex of consumerism I’d been drifting back towards.

You know the one- the constant convincing yourself that you need something, that this jumper will finally complete your wardrobe, or that these trainers will transform your fitness routine.

And to be fair…sometimes a new piece—or simply a new-to-you piece—really can inspire you.

A fabulous pair of trainers might genuinely motivate you to get outside for that rainy morning walk.

A beautifully cut blazer might make you stand a little taller at work.

A great coat can make winter feel just that little bit more bearable.

Sometimes clothing does change how we feel.

I’m not knocking that at all.

Fashion Isn’t Frivolous

In fact, I think fashion gets an unfair reputation.

People who aren’t particularly interested in clothes often dismiss it as shallow or frivolous.

I couldn’t disagree more.

What we choose to put on our bodies shapes how we feel before we’ve even walked out the front door.

It frames our mindset.

It sets a tone.

It’s a visual cue—not just for everyone else, but for ourselves.

Curled up in front of a crackling fire after an indulgent roast dinner last night, we watched The Devil Wears Prada 2. It reminded me just how much clothing, fashion and personal style influence modern life.

Whether we like it or not, they do.

Some cultures place more weight on appearance than others. Some professions do. Some social circles absolutely do.

But every single one of us gets dressed each day.

Well…most of us.

If you’re doing the weekly Pak’nSave shop in your dressing gown…can I just have a quiet word?

Because whether we’re reaching for stained trackies or a beautifully tailored suit, we’re communicating something.

To the world.

And to ourselves.

Clothes Tell Stories

Clothing isn’t just fabric.

It’s communication.

A worn-in hoodie says one thing.

An impeccably tailored blazer says another.

Neither is inherently right or wrong, but both influence how the wearer moves through the world.

We carry ourselves differently, we think differently, we feel differently.

So no, I don’t think fashion is shallow- I think it’s personal, and it deserves far more respect than it often gets.

The Best Purchase Is Sometimes No Purchase At All

Perhaps that’s why this little shopping ritual feels so refreshing.

I’m still engaging with fashion.

I’m still appreciating beautiful design.

I’m still discovering what I genuinely love.

I’m just no longer letting every spark of desire become a transaction.

Ironically, saying “not today” has made the pieces I do eventually bring home feel far more meaningful.

And when those pieces happen to be pre-loved, beautifully made, and discovered for pennies rather than pounds?

Well…

That’s a thrill no full-price impulse purchase has managed to match.

Maybe the most satisfying thing I’ve bought lately…was nothing at all.

But- disclaimer…..I REALLY want that jacket pictured at the top of this post!

Homemaking, and our increasingly disposable culture

Fri, 17 Jul 2026 19:58:29 GMT

This week I received one of those phone calls that leave you smiling long after you’ve hung up. On my screen appeared a very excited young lady. Cheeks flushed, beaming smile, her signature curls bouncing as she talked a mile a minute. She’d just come home from a Le Creuset sale, armed with birthday money and absolutely bursting to show me what she’d bought. Now, this wasn’t the excitement of a new dress, the latest gadget, or some passing trend.

This was a just-turned-nineteen-year-old practically jumping up and down over a large lasagne dish, a beautiful deep blue mixing bowl and jug, and a wooden spatula. A wooden spatula! As she enthusiastically held each piece up to the camera for inspection, explaining exactly why she’d chosen them, I couldn’t help but laugh.

Here was a girl whose greatest excitement wasn’t centred around fashion or technology, but around cookware (with the exception of lego perhaps!). Then, after our wonderfully animated game of show-and-tell, she abruptly announced she was heading straight back to the shop. “I’ve decided I’m buying the Dutch oven.” The sale price was simply too good to miss. “And I’ll buy you a spatula too, Mum!”

Now that made me smile even more. Because she knows. She knows that I have one particular Le Creuset spatula that I reach for every single day. I’ve owned countless spatulas over the years, but none come close to its ergonomic shape, flexibility and durability. It has become one of those humble kitchen tools you don’t really notice until you use anything else.

As she dashed back out the door, keys in hand, I found myself reflecting on what she’d just shown me.

Not just the cookware- the mindset. For the past several months she’s been living in student accommodation. Like most student housing, it’s been functional rather than inspiring—a tiny kitchenette, no proper oven, barely enough bench space to prepare a meal, let alone spend an afternoon baking.

For someone who genuinely loves to cook, and who has developed an impressive talent for sourdough baking, it’s been rather limiting. So the excitement of moving into a real home—with an actual kitchen, a proper oven, space to knead dough and bake bread—is almost palpable. She’s dreaming about meals she can cook, bread she can bake, lasagnes she’ll make, friends she’ll feed. She’s not simply furnishing a house, she’s building a home.

Watching her carefully choose timeless kitchen pieces reminded me how differently previous generations approached buying household goods. My own small collection of cast iron and enamelled cookware began with a treasured piece passed down from my mother. A classic burnt orange Dutch oven, given to her as a wedding present over sixty years ago (sixty years!). It has cooked thousands of family meals, travelled through house moves and continents, raised children, celebrated birthdays, fed sick family members, cooked Sunday roasts and winter stews- and today it still performs exactly as it was designed to.

Over the years I’ve gradually added a few pieces of my own. Some are Le Creuset, others are different premium brands, but all share the same philosophy: buy well, buy once. My cast iron frying pans. Quality kitchen knives. My stainless steel copper-bottomed saucepans. My KitchenAid stand mixer—which, admittedly, has needed a motor repair and two replacement bowls over its long working life—but is still faithfully mixing dough after years of heavy use.

My grandmother’s Spode china. A steel knife sharpener with its beautifully worn mahogany handle that dates back to my grandparents’ era. An old hand whisk with the little turning handle that must surely have come from the 1960s. An antique nutcracker. A chipped mixing bowl that once held a Fortnum & Mason Christmas pudding many decades ago. None of these are perfect anymore- many carry scratches, chips and signs of years of faithful service, but they’re still serving.

Things simply used to be made differently. Wedding gifts weren’t expected to last until the next kitchen renovation. They were expected to last until retirement. Sometimes beyond. A well-chosen wedding list was designed to establish a household for life. Sadly, that philosophy seems increasingly rare. Today so many things are built for replacement rather than repair. Whiteware is perhaps the greatest example. I remember refrigerators that lasted through entire childhoods. Heavy doors. Solid handles. Built like tanks. Yet within months of buying our current, rather expensive fridge, part of the lightweight plastic handle snapped.

We’re now on our third washing machine of our marriage. Although, in fairness, my appliances do seem to have an exceptionally demanding life—particularly the washing machine! I’ve genuinely lost count of the kettles we’ve owned over the years. Our current Laura Ashley kettle and toaster were Christmas gifts only eighteen months ago. They’re undeniably beautiful, but already the chrome-effect coating—actually a thin plastic finish—is peeling away, and the temperature gauge on the kettle filled with condensation months ago. Pretty. But hardly built for decades of faithful service.

Perhaps that’s why watching my daughter invest so thoughtfully in quality cookware filled me with such pride. At nineteen, she’s resisting the culture that tells us cheaper is always better, faster is always preferable, and replacing something every few years is simply normal. Instead, she’s choosing pieces she’ll hopefully still be cooking with when she’s my age. Perhaps even passing them on one day. There’s something wonderfully hopeful about that. Because every treasured family kitchen has stories hidden in its cupboards. The casserole dish that made countless family dinners, the mixing bowl that baked birthday cakes for generations, the knife that carved every Christmas roast- these objects become woven into family life in ways we don’t often recognise until decades later.

As parents, we spend years hoping we’ve quietly passed on values that can’t really be taught in a single conversation. Patience. Stewardship. Gratitude. Contentment. Looking beyond immediate gratification.

This week, watching my daughter delight in a Dutch oven instead of the latest trend, I realised perhaps some of those lessons had quietly taken root after all. And if, sixty years from now, one of her grandchildren is stirring soup in that very same Le Creuset pot while telling stories about “Grannies famous sourdough,” I think that may just be one of the best investments she’ll ever make.

Tiny rituals that quietly outlive the people who taught them to us. Grannie

Wed, 08 Jul 2026 18:40:12 GMT

The other day, I caught myself with my hands framing my face, my pinky fingers gently tapping the outer corners of my eyes. It wasn’t a conscious gesture. It simply appeared, as familiar as breathing.

And then, as if something had wrapped itself firmly around my middle and whooshed me backwards through time, I was sitting at my grandmother’s dining table again.

She did that.

Her hands would cradle her face as she listened or thought, her little fingers absent-mindedly tapping against her temples while the kettle hummed, or the Assam -Lapsang mix of loose leaf brewed in the Spode teapot-and the world carried on outside. It was such an ordinary movement that I’d never thought to remember it. Until my own hands remembered for me.

Isn’t it extraordinary, the things we inherit without ever trying? Not just eyes or smiles, but gestures and rhythms- tiny rituals that quietly outlive the people who taught them to us.

The memory arrived exactly when I needed it. These reflections always seem to. Life had been nudging me towards the familiar temptation of believing that more is better. More plans, more purchases, more noise.

And then there she was.

A woman whose wealth wasn’t measured in excess but in routine. A well-worn apron. Tea in the same cup and saucer, hot Ribena in the pink floral mugs. Biscuits kept in the proper tin, chocolate cake iced with thick melted chocolate and Smarties! A garden that asked only for tending. The radio humming in the background. The certainty that everyone would leave her home feeling fuller than when they arrived.

She understood abundance without overindulgence. (Unless it involved double cream)

She found delight in peeling apples, hanging washing in the sun, and taking a nap outdoors in summer or by the fireside in winter. Fresh roses grown by Grandpa and arranged rustically in a crystal vase. Church on Sundays, Cricket matches on the village rec on Saturdays, and annual trips into London to visit art galleries and exhibitions. There was no urgency to complicate joy.

I think we often mistake abundance for accumulation. She never did.

She knew that enough could feel wonderfully plentiful. Family, “40 winks” in a sunny spot, a beautiful piece of clothing purchased from a boutique in Rye and cared for and worn for years. Learning Italian in her 80s!

It’s funny that a pair of tapping pinky fingers could carry so much wisdom across generations. That something so small could become a quiet reminder to slow down, to notice, to return to the rituals that anchor us.

Perhaps that’s how the people we love continue to guide us- through the unconscious choreography of our own bodies. A familiar tilt of the head. A way of folding tea towels. A laugh that sounds uncannily like theirs. Hands that find their way to a face without invitation.

And every now and then, when life begins to feel wonderfully overcomplicated, all it takes is the gentle tap of two little fingers to remember that quintessential contentment has never been very far away.

Petit Plaisirs in an Age of Plenty

Sat, 27 Jun 2026 23:56:34 GMT

Yesterday morning I did something I don’t do as often as I used to.

I went for a long walk without listening to anything.

No podcast. No audiobook. No music. Just birdsong, the crunch of gravel beneath my shoes, and the gentle chatter of my own thoughts.

It was one of those perfect rural winter mornings. Bright enough that the sunshine promised warmth, but crisp enough to make you pull your jacket zip a little higher. Wisps of mist still lingered over the paddocks, wood smoke drifted lazily from nearby chimneys, and the air had that unmistakable scent that only exists in winter. Not quite cold enough for a frost, but close.

As I walked, I found myself appreciating something rather ordinary.

My gloves.

I’d bought them specifically for morning walks. They’re thermal without being bulky, and they have those clever little fingertip pads that let you use your phone without taking them off. Essential, really, for someone who can’t seem to walk more than a few hundred metres without stopping to photograph the light hitting a tree or a particularly beautiful patch of mist.

It’s funny what your mind wanders to when you leave space for it.

Standing there, hands comfortably warm, I started mentally adding up what I was wearing.

Nike running shoes, Under Armour socks, Lululemon leggings, an A’min top, Lorna Jane fleece, LSKD body warmer, Lorna Jane cap, Lorna Jane gloves.

If we’re being completely honest… LSKD underwear and a decent Lora Jane sports bra too.

I stopped walking for a moment.

At full retail value, I was wearing very nearly a thousand dollars’ worth of clothing.

For a walk! Not a fashion event, just a practical collection of layers for a 14-kilometre wander on a winter morning.

The thing is, I didn’t even think it was unusual until I did the maths.

I buy most of my clothes on sale. I wait for discounts. I choose brands I trust because my clothes work hard. My activewear gets absolutely hammered. It gets rained on, muddied, drenched in sweat, covered in sunscreen, tumble dried, baked in the fierce New Zealand sun and washed over and over again. I expect it to perform, and generally it does.

These aren’t impulse purchases.

They’re tools.

So why did the total feel so startling?

Because somewhere along the way, we’ve normalised owning an extraordinary amount.

I opened my activewear drawer later that day.

More than twenty pairs of black leggings stared back at me. (Not counting any more colourful options, navy, charcoal, leopard!)

Different lengths.

Different weights.

Different fabrics.

Winter ones.

Summer ones.

Compression ones.

Pocket ones.

And I’d be willing to bet I’m not alone.

Maybe you’re mentally counting yours too.

What’s fascinating is that this wasn’t always me.

For over a decade I lived with what was essentially a ten-item wardrobe.

Really.

Ten core pieces, with the odd coat, scarf or special occasion outfit alongside them.

It wasn’t difficult because my life looked different then. I exercised, certainly. I belonged to a gym and enjoyed early morning walks, but movement wasn’t woven through every part of my day in the way it is now. These days there are walks, strength training, golf, ballet, yoga… each activity demanding slightly different clothing, different shoes, different layers.

At least, that’s what I tell myself.

Somewhere between then and now I became… a consumer.

Not recklessly or extravagantly- just gradually, almost accidentally.

And perhaps that’s what unsettles me most.

None of it happened with a conscious decision to own more.

One purchase became another. One “investment piece” became a drawer full of them. One pair of leggings became twenty because this pair was warmer, that pair had pockets, another was better for yoga, another for running.

It all made perfect sense.

Until suddenly it didn’t.

It made me wonder whether this is one of the defining characteristics of modern life.

Not that we have nice things.

But that we’ve stopped noticing them.

We become so accustomed to abundance that gratitude quietly slips away.

A thousand-dollar walking outfit feels ordinary.

A cupboard full of options feels insufficient.

Online shopping becomes entertainment.

Sales become reasons to buy instead of opportunities to save.

And somehow, while accumulating all these possessions designed to improve our lives, we forget to savour the things that actually make us happiest.

The smell of wood smoke, cold air in your lungs, birdsong, mist rising from a paddock, warm fingers inside a good pair of gloves.

The French have a beautiful phrase: petits plaisirs.

Little pleasures.

The tiny moments that, stitched together, create a beautiful life.

Yesterday reminded me that they’re still there.

Waiting.

Quietly competing with notifications, shopping carts and endless consumption for our attention.

Maybe that’s why walking without headphones felt so restorative- not because I learned anything profound, but because I noticed.

I’m not about to throw away nineteen pairs of leggings or swear off buying quality activewear. That isn’t the point.

The point is simply this.

If I can be genuinely delighted by warm gloves on a cold morning, and birdsong can improve my mood more than a new jacket, then perhaps the richest parts of my life were never hanging in my wardrobe at all. Perhaps they’ve been waiting outside all along.

The Luxury of an Ordinary Winter's Day

Fri, 19 Jun 2026 08:33:07 GMT

There are certain winter days that feel like a gift from the moment they begin.

The kind that starts before sunrise, when the world is hushed beneath a veil of frost and the sky glows in delicate shades of pink and lavender. The air is so crisp it almost sparkles. Stepping outside in the frigid dawn, wrapped in a coat and gloves feels less like braving the cold and more like entering a secret world. Every breath hangs in the air. The grass crunches softly underfoot. The first light catches the bare branches and turns them silver.

These are the mornings that make you feel wonderfully alive.

There is something so satisfying about moving through a cold day- the warmth of a mug clasped between your hands, the comfort of a wool jumper, the simple pleasure of sunlight streaming through a window and pooling across a wooden floor.

Winter invites us to notice things we often overlook.

A walk on a crisp afternoon becomes an occasion rather than an errand. The low sun stretches long shadows across fields and rooftops. The air smells faintly of woodsmoke. Birds chatter in the hedgerows before settling in for the evening. The world seems to slow its pace, encouraging us to do the same.

And perhaps that is the true luxury of these days.

Not grand adventures or extravagant experiences, but the chance to linger over lunch, read a few pages of a book while sunlight still filters through the window, watch steam rise from a cup of tea, and enjoy the rare feeling that there is nowhere urgent to be.

As afternoon slips into evening, the sky puts on one final show. Soft gold fades into blush pink, then deepens into indigo. Lights begin to glow in neighbouring homes. Curtains are drawn. The cold settles outside while warmth gathers indoors.

The house takes on a special kind of coziness that only winter can create.

A fire crackles gently in the hearth. Lamps cast pools of amber light. Dinner is simple and comforting. Conversation becomes quieter. The day begins to fold itself away.

And then comes my favourite moment of all- the hour before bed.

The dishes are done. The world beyond the windows has disappeared into darkness. The fire has burned low. Wrapped in a blanket, I settle into a favourite chair with a steaming cup of peppermint tea. The fragrant warmth curls upward as I cradle the mug in both hands.

Nothing remarkable is happening- no milestone, no great story- and yet somehow it feels like abundance.

There is immense joy in these small, ordinary rituals. In being warm while the frost gathers outside. In feeling pleasantly tired after a day spent outdoors. In knowing that the only thing left to do is climb into a bed made inviting by crisp sheets and heavy blankets.

Perhaps we spend so much time searching for extraordinary moments that we overlook the quiet richness already woven through our days.

A pink winter dawn, a sunlit afternoon walk, the glow of a fire, a cup of peppermint tea before sleep.

These simple pleasures ask very little of us except our attention. And when we truly notice them, they reveal themselves for what they are: tiny luxuries, freely given.

On the perfect winter day, that is enough- more than enough, in fact.

The Sweetest Luxuries

Sat, 13 Jun 2026 09:24:54 GMT

A photograph arrived in my inbox this week. Nothing extraordinary by modern standards- no dramatic landscape, no milestone celebration, nothing staged for social media. Just a picture of my 85-year-old father standing in his garden in France, gently picking raspberries on a hot early summer afternoon.

And yet, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.

There he was, reaching amongst the canes for the ripest fruit, gathering the rewards of patience, care and seasons faithfully observed. The image seemed to contain so much more than a basket of berries. It held decades, generations, memories.

It transported me back to a different time.

A childhood where summer seemed endless and pleasures were uncomplicated. Where gardens were places of wonder and abundance, not projects to be optimised. Where a handful of sun-warmed raspberries eaten straight from the cane felt like a feast. Before notifications, algorithms and endless scrolling competed for our attention. Before every spare moment seemed to require filling.

Looking at my father, I saw not only the man he is today, but the boy he once was. I thought about his childhood and the stories he has shared over the years. I thought about my grandfather, whose presence still lingers in family memories, values and habits passed quietly from one generation to the next. There is something deeply moving about recognising those invisible threads that connect us across time.

The photograph reminded me that family history is rarely found in grand events. More often, it lives in ordinary moments repeated across decades. In gardens tended. Meals shared. Walks taken. Skills taught. Traditions carried forward without fanfare.

And perhaps that is why the image struck such a chord.

Lately, I have found myself on a journey of trying to pare back. To focus less on what is next and more on what is already here. To resist the constant pull of a culture that thrives on immediacy, consumption and the promise that satisfaction lies just beyond the next purchase, achievement or experience.

It is remarkably easy to become caught up in the pursuit of more- more possessions, more productivity, more plans, more distractions.

Yet a photograph of an elderly man picking raspberries quietly challenges that narrative.

It makes me wonder whether enough is already all around us, and whether life’s greatest luxuries are simply the moments we too often overlook.

The sweetness of a perfectly ripe raspberry grown in your own garden.

The companionship of a beloved four-legged friend on a sunny afternoon walk, watching swans glide effortlessly across a still lake, creating a nourishing meal from a handful of ingredients found in the fridge, the warmth of the sun on your face, a conversation with someone you love, the satisfaction of tending something and watching it grow.

These simple pleasures ask very little of us except that we pay attention.

My father’s garden is a testament to that. It reflects years of nurturing, patience and appreciation for the natural rhythm of things. It stands in quiet contrast to a world increasingly obsessed with speed and instant gratification.

The raspberries will be gone in a few weeks. Summer will give way to autumn. Another season will pass.

And yet that is precisely what makes the moment so precious.

The photograph serves as a gentle reminder that abundance is not always measured by what we accumulate. Sometimes it is measured by our ability to notice what is already present. To savour it. To be grateful for it.

As I looked at my father gathering berries beneath the summer sun, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude- for family, for memories, for the generations that came before me, and for the enduring beauty of ordinary days.

Perhaps life’s true luxuries have been in front of us all along, waiting patiently among the raspberry canes.

Simple Low-Tox Swaps, Essential Oils, and a Little Everyday Frugality

Sat, 06 Jun 2026 06:13:30 GMT

Like many people lately, I’ve found myself paying much closer attention to what comes into our home, what we spend our money on, and what we use every day. Rising living costs have a way of encouraging creativity, and combined with a growing awareness of environmental impact, and keeping a closer eye on my own health, I’ve become increasingly interested in simpler, gentler alternatives to some of the products we’ve come to rely on.

I should say from the outset that I don’t profess to have any special expertise or extensive knowledge of essential oils or their therapeutic properties. I’m not an aromatherapist, naturopath, or wellness guru. What I am is curious, practical, and always looking for ways to make everyday life a little simpler, more affordable, and perhaps a little less reliant on harsh chemicals.

Over time, I’ve accumulated a modest collection of essential oils that live in a box in our laundry. Some bottles seem to last forever, while others are replaced regularly because they have become part of our daily routine.

Lavender is one of those staples. Two drops on my pillow each night has become a small ritual that signals the end of the day. I find that familiar scent so comforting, and I particularly enjoy supporting locally grown and produced varieties when I can.

Eucalyptus is another household favourite. A few drops in the bathroom leave the space smelling fresh and clean, without the need for aerosol sprays or heavily fragranced products.

Perhaps the simplest (and most surprising) item in my collection is peppermint oil. I keep a bottle in my handbag and another at my desk. Using only food-grade peppermint oil, a tiny drop can provide an intensely fresh flavour that’s become an alternative to chewing gum or mints. I also enjoy the invigorating scent during those sleepy afternoon slumps when concentration starts to wander.

As with any concentrated product, essential oils should be used thoughtfully. Some oils can irritate the skin, and not all are suitable for ingestion. It’s important to follow the guidance provided by the manufacturer and seek professional advice if you’re unsure.

When my girls were little I made from scratch laundry detergent- bottled up in old milk bottles and labelled with a pretty label- often given to friends if we popped in for afternoon tea or a play date. I made laundry powder and liquid, dishwashing powder, cleaners, tomato ketchup, pasta sauces, hand soap, cleansing balm- all sorts.

2 small girls, a stay-at-home mum, a smaller house and less income- simpler times.

A Few Simple Low-Tox Recipes

What appeals to me most about these recipes is their simplicity. Most use ingredients that are inexpensive, readily available, and have multiple uses around the home.

All-Purpose Cleaning Spray

Ingredients:

1 cup water
1 cup white vinegar
10–15 drops lemon or eucalyptus essential oil

Method:
Combine ingredients in a spray bottle and shake before use. Ideal for wiping down benches, sinks, and bathroom surfaces.

Linen and Room Spray

Ingredients:

1 cup distilled water
1 tablespoon witch hazel or vodka
10 drops lavender or Rose or Vetiver essential oil

Method:
Mix in a spray bottle and shake before each use. Lightly mist bedding, curtains, or cushions for a fresh scent.

Natural Toilet Freshener

Ingredients:

½ cup baking soda
10 drops eucalyptus essential oil
5 drops lemon essential oil

Method:
Mix together and store in a jar. Sprinkle a spoonful into the toilet bowl, leave for a few minutes, then brush and flush.

Freshening Laundry Boost

Ingredients:

½ cup baking soda
5–10 drops lavender essential oil

Method:
Mix and add a tablespoon or two to a load of washing for an extra freshness boost.

I’ve found that the most sustainable changes are often the smallest ones. A homemade spray instead of a purchased cleaner. A reusable bottle instead of another disposable product. A familiar scent that makes a space feel clean and welcoming without requiring a cupboard full of specialised products.

Low-tox living doesn’t need to be all-or-nothing, expensive, or complicated. For me, it’s less about perfection and more about making thoughtful choices where I can. Sometimes that means trying a homemade cleaner, or supporting a local lavender grower, or just reaching for the little bottle of peppermint oil when the afternoon lull hits and there’s still work to be done.

In a time when many of us are looking for ways to stretch household budgets while being kinder to ourselves and the environment, these small, practical swaps feel both timely and worthwhile. They may not change the world overnight, but they make everyday life a little simpler and fresher.

A Weekend of Self-Care While Practising Being Empty Nesters

Sun, 31 May 2026 08:03:28 GMT

“Care is listening to your body and your brain and doing what’s possible in the moment: breathing deeply, writing down your thoughts, cancelling an outing, going to bed early, sitting in the sun for a bit.” Jodi Wilson

This quote stopped me in my tracks this week. It reminds us that care is often found in the smallest, simplest moments.

As we navigate this new season of life and practise being empty nesters, I’ve been learning that self-care doesn’t have to look like luxury retreats, expensive spa days, or perfectly curated wellness routines. Sometimes it looks like acknowledging that your heart feels a little tender. Sometimes it means accepting that the house is quieter than it used to be.

This weekend, self-care looked a lot like listening.

Listening to my body when it asked for a slower start to the morning, to my mind when it felt crowded with thoughts and memories, and to my emotions as I adjusted to a home that feels both familiar and different at the same time.

There was no rigid schedule, and no checklist to complete.

Instead, there were deep breaths taken on the deck with a hot cup of coffee. There was time spent writing down thoughts that had been swirling around in my head. There was permission to leave a few jobs undone and simply sit in the sunshine, feeling its warmth and appreciating the stillness.

Being an empty nester is a strange mix of emotions. There is pride in watching your children spread their wings and create lives of their own. There is excitement for their adventures and opportunities. And yet there is also a quiet grief as routines change and family life evolves into something new.

This weekend reminded me that both can exist together.

Care is allowing space for those emotions without trying to fix them.

It’s going to bed a little earlier because your mind is tired, choosing a walk instead of another task, cancelling plans when what you really need is rest, and recognising that adjusting to change takes energy, even when the change is positive.

As we continue learning what this empty-nest chapter looks like, I’m discovering that self-care isn’t about doing more- it’s paying attention, and responding kindly to what we need in the moment rather than what we think we should be doing.

This weekend, that was enough.

Sometimes the most caring thing we can do is simply listen, and trust that what is possible in this moment is enough.

The courage to feel everything

Fri, 22 May 2026 19:14:13 GMT

I find that in many of our lives the exhaustion comes from resisting what we already know.

We spend years trying to become less sensitive, as if numbness is maturity. We praise toughness, restraint, emotional distance. We confuse hardness with bravery. But perhaps the opposite of sensitive is not brave at all. Perhaps the opposite of sensitive is disconnected. We refuse to acknowledge feelings or instincts that dont align with the direction we ought to be headed. To continue on an accepted path, which is the norm.

Sensitivity is not weakness- it is the willingness to stay awake to life instead of anaesthetising ourselves against it.

The brave people are not the ones who feel the least. They are the ones who refuse to abandon themselves because of what they feel.

So much of suffering comes from trying not to know what we know. The body whispers long before the mind admits the truth. A relationship that no longer fits. A dream asking to be pursued. A grief asking to be felt. A boundary asking to be drawn. We call this confusion, but often it is clarity delayed by fear.

It is rarely the hard decision itself that keeps us trapped. It is indecision. The endless hovering between instincts and permission. Between truth and performance. Between the life we sense is ours and the life we continue because it is familiar.

Stillness becomes frightening because stillness reveals.

“Be still and know.”

Not think, not analyse- know.

There is a wisdom beneath language that most of us spend our lives learning to ignore. Gut feelings are not irrational interruptions to our intelligence; they are often intelligence itself. The quiet inner recognition that arrives before evidence does. A belief in the unseen order of things. The sense that life is speaking in patterns long before outcomes appear.

And perhaps being human was never meant to be a constant pursuit of happiness anyway.

Modern life teaches us to evaluate our days based on comfort: Was I productive? Was I pleased? Was I entertained? But a fully lived life is not measured by uninterrupted happiness. It is measured by presence. By the willingness to feel awe, grief, wonder, rage, tenderness, loneliness, joy, confusion, love, and loss without deciding that any one emotion disqualifies us from being whole.

To be alive is to feel everything.

Not forever. Not all at once. But honestly.

The real tragedy is abandoning ourselves in order to avoid heartbreak. It is becoming spectators to our own lives because certainty cannot be guaranteed.

But life has never offered certainty. It offers movement.

To be alive is to exist in a perpetual state of self-revolution. We are not fixed beings arriving at a final version of ourselves. We are unfolding creatures. Shedding identities. Outgrowing old languages. Becoming strangers to former selves. Beginning again and again.

The goal, perhaps, is not to become fearless but to become faithful to ourselves.

Faithful enough to stop pretending we do not know, quiet enough to hear what our inner life is saying, and brave enough to feel all of it and keep changing.

And maybe that is why these reflections have spoken so deeply to me while reading work by Glennon Doyle. Her words seem to return again and again to the quiet courage of paying attention — to ourselves, to our instincts, to the ordinary moments that reveal who we are becoming. Ironically, many of these thoughts crystallised for me while dealing with something so small and modern: a frozen phone. Losing, even temporarily, the ability to take the countless photographs I instinctively capture each day made me realise how much that ritual matters to me. Photography is not just documentation; it is how I process my days. It is how I notice beauty, hold fleeting emotions still for a moment, and make sense of my inner world through the outer one. The inconvenience became its own strange kind of gift — a reminder of what a luxury a working phone is, yes, but more importantly of how tied up our small daily acts are with the ways we understand ourselves and our lives.

What insecurity are you trying to soothe?

Wed, 13 May 2026 19:47:21 GMT

Most people don’t like admitting it, but there’s a strange feeling that can arise when we see someone else stumble. A failed relationship. A public mistake. Someone falling short after appearing confident or successful. It can show up in gossip, subtle satisfaction, or even relief.

Psychologists call this schadenfreude- pleasure derived from another person’s misfortune. But beneath the surface, it often has far less to do with the other person and far more to do with ourselves.

At its core, the feeling usually comes from comparison.

When someone else fails, it can temporarily quiet our own insecurities. Their struggle makes our own feel smaller. Their imperfections make us feel less exposed. For a moment, we don’t have to confront the parts of ourselves we’ve been avoiding.

That’s why people who are deeply uncomfortable within themselves are often more drawn to criticism, gossip, or tearing others down. If someone doesn’t fully accept who they are, seeing others suffer can create a false sense of balance — “At least I’m not the only one struggling.”

The hopeful part is that becoming aware of this tendency is actually a sign of growth.

The moment we recognise that our reactions to others are mirrors of our relationship with ourselves, we gain the opportunity to change. Instead of using other people’s failures as emotional comfort, we can begin building genuine self-acceptance.

And self-acceptance changes everything.

When people feel secure in who they are, they stop needing others to shrink in order to feel okay themselves. They celebrate growth instead of resenting it. They respond with empathy instead of judgment. Other people’s success no longer feels threatening, and other people’s pain no longer feels satisfying.

Ironically, accepting our own flaws often makes us kinder toward everyone else’s.

That doesn’t mean becoming perfect or endlessly positive. It simply means understanding that every person is carrying insecurities, disappointments, and unfinished parts of themselves. Including us.

So the next time you catch yourself leaning into gossip or feeling strangely satisfied by someone else’s downfall, pause for a moment, with curiosity rather than guilt.

Ask yourself what part of you still needs compassion, what insecurity you are trying to soothe, and what would change if you accepted yourself more fully.

Healing comes from learning how to stand comfortably within ourselves.

The Wisdom of Deciduous Trees: Trusting the Seasons of Our Lives

Fri, 08 May 2026 02:46:00 GMT

Autumn arrives quietly at first- a cooler breeze through the morning air, a softening of the light. Leaves begin their slow transformation from vibrant green into amber, rust, crimson, and gold. And then, almost imperceptibly, the letting go begins.

There is something deeply comforting about deciduous trees at this time of year. They do not resist the season. They do not cling desperately to what once was, even when what they are releasing is breathtakingly beautiful. Instead, they surrender with grace to a rhythm older and wiser than urgency.

Perhaps this is why autumn speaks to us as humans- we, too, live in seasons.

There are times in life that feel like spring — fresh beginnings, new identities forming, tender hope pushing up through the soil of uncertainty. There are summers of abundance and fullness, when everything seems alive and expansive. And then, inevitably, autumn arrives. The season of change and reflection and release.

So often we are taught to fear endings. To see shedding as failure, or slowing down as weakness. Yet nature offers us a gentler truth.

The deciduous tree does not lose its leaves because it is dying. It lets them go in order to survive.

There are moments in our lives when we are called to release things we once loved deeply:
old versions of ourselves, relationships, ambitions, routines, expectations, identities. Sometimes they were beautiful. Sometimes they carried us through entire chapters of our lives. But there comes a time when holding on requires more energy than letting go.

And so we change- not abruptly, not always dramatically, but slowly, leaf by leaf.

There is catharsis in this process. A cleansing. A freshening of the spirit. We clear space not because what came before lacked value, but because growth asks for room. Because renewal cannot happen while our branches remain crowded with what no longer nourishes us.

Autumn reminds us that release can itself be beautiful.

And then comes winter.

Perhaps this is the season we resist the most.

The bare branches. The stillness. The uncertainty. The outward absence of growth.

Yet wintering is not emptiness. It is restoration.

The tree in winter is not barren; it is conserving energy. Beneath the surface, unseen work is still unfolding. Roots deepen. Systems rest. Preparation quietly takes place for what will eventually bloom again.

How often do we forget this in our own lives?

We live in a world that celebrates perpetual productivity and constant becoming. We feel pressure to always be flourishing, always visible, always growing in ways others can witness. But nature never asks this of itself.

It trusts the cycle.

And perhaps we are invited to do the same.

There are seasons when life asks us to step back. To pause. To allow things to unfold without forcing them. Seasons where healing happens invisibly. Where clarity arrives slowly. Where rest itself becomes sacred.

The beauty of deciduous trees is not merely that they bloom again in spring — it is the certainty with which they trust that spring will come.

Without panic. Without striving. Without needing proof.

Just quiet faith in reliable rhythms.

Maybe this is the invitation autumn offers us each year:
to loosen our grip on what is falling away, to honour the necessity of change, and to trust that periods of stillness are not the end of our story.

Because the branches will bud again.

Life returns.

Not always in the same form. Not always on the same timeline. But renewal comes, as it always has.

And until then, there is wisdom in wintering, in resting, in allowing nature (both around us and within us) to take its course.

The trees already know this.

Perhaps we are simply remembering it too.

A simple seaside getaway

Mon, 04 May 2026 07:56:00 GMT

There is a lot to be said for a simple getaway- especially one that lasts just a night. No elaborate planning, no packed itinerary, no pressure to “make the most of it.” Just a small window of time carved out to step away from the familiar and breathe a little deeper.

We slipped out of town early on Saturday morning, chasing a change of scenery more than anything else. Just over 24 hours in the Bay of Plenty was all it took to feel like we’d pressed pause on the usual rhythm of life. Golden sand stretched endlessly beneath unseasonably warm autumn sunshine, the kind that feels like a gentle bonus this time of year. It wasn’t summer, but it felt close enough.

There’s a particular pleasure in arriving somewhere without expectation—wandering rather than rushing. We drifted between little boutiques, drawn in by window displays and beautiful wares, not because we needed anything, but because it felt good to look, and to slow down enough to appreciate the little details that blur past at home.

Meals became part of the adventure too—discovering new-to-us places, lingering a little longer over coffee, choosing whatever felt right in the moment rather than what fit into a schedule.

And then there was the ocean.

It has a way of sorting you out. Somewhere between the salty air and the steady rhythm of waves, I realised how tightly I’d been holding myself together. Shoulders permanently hunched, breath unconsciously shallow. Within hours, that tension began to dissolve. By the time we were walking arm in arm along the boardwalk, it felt like my body had remembered something it had quietly forgotten.

We woke before dawn, wrapped in that soft, blue-grey light that belongs only to early morning. Drawn outside, we wandered down to the beach, the sand still cool beneath bare feet. The world felt hushed, expansive, full of possibility. No noise, no demands—just the two of us and the sound of the sea.

It wasn’t a long trip, and it didn’t need to be.

That brief removal from the usual to-do lists and weekend chores was enough to reset something deeper than I expected. Rest doesn’t always need weeks away- a single night and a change of scenery did the job.

Of course, it was a pleasure to return home—to familiar comforts, to enthusiastic purrs, to our own sanctuary. But the difference was in how it felt to arrive back. Lighter, somehow, and a little clearer.

Just 24 hours, a stretch of coastline and a few deep lungfuls of sea air- and I came home feeling like myself again.

A Brain That Breathes: Jodi Wilson. An extraordinarily powerful book, reminding us we don't need to do more in order to feel better

Sun, 26 Apr 2026 05:24:00 GMT

Some books you read and put down. This one I have been carrying about the house with me. A Brain That Breathes by Jodi Wilson is a gentle but unflinching nudge to reconsider how we live, what we prioritise, and how we care for ourselves in a world that rarely slows down.

What makes Wilson’s work so powerful is not that it presents radically new ideas, but that it returns us—again and again—to truths we already know but have somehow drifted away from. Reading it can feel like being reminded of how to be human.

The Foundation We Forget: What We Need to Feel Safe

One of the most striking sections is her return to the basics: water, food, movement, sleep, sunlight. It sounds almost too simple—until you realise how often we neglect these in pursuit of something more “important.”

When you’re exhausted or emotionally depleted, your brain doesn’t operate from a place of clarity. It shifts into survival mode. That spiral of “What’s the point?” isn’t necessarily a philosophical crisis—it’s often physiological.

Hydration affects cognitive clarity. Nutrient-dense food stabilises mood and energy. Movement regulates stress. Sleep repairs both body and mind. Sunlight anchors our internal clock. These aren’t luxuries- they are the basics, and my goodness we skip them.

What Wilson does so effectively is strip away the illusion that wellbeing requires complexity. Before you overhaul your life, she suggests, ask a quieter question: Have I met my basic needs today?

It’s disarming how often the answer is no.

The Trap of Impossible Standards

Another idea that resonates deeply is the subtle violence of self-imposed expectations.

Ask yourself if you’re trying to keep up with impossible standards.

This is where many of us get stuck—not because we lack discipline or ambition, but because the target itself is unrealistic. We absorb expectations from social media, productivity culture, and even well-meaning advice, then internalise them as personal failure when we can’t keep up.

Wilson invites a pause—not to abandon growth, but to interrogate it:

What am I actually aiming for?
Who defined this standard?
Is this aligned with how I want to feel?

Improvement driven by self-criticism just exhausts us in the end.

Designing a Life Around What Matters

“Figure out your priorities” sounds obvious—until you try to do it honestly.

Wilson reframes priorities not as achievements, but as feelings.
How do you want your days to feel? Grounded? Spacious? Connected? Calm?

This shift is subtle but powerful. It moves you away from external validation and toward internal alignment.

From there, her advice becomes practical:

Schedule rest and joy deliberately
Treat them as essential, not optional
Accept that life will always contain difficulty—but it doesn’t have to be defined by it

There’s something quietly radical about choosing joy on purpose, especially in a culture that often treats rest as laziness and busyness as virtue.

The Misunderstood Power of Softness

Wilson challenges a deeply ingrained belief: that gentleness equals weakness.

Softness doesn’t mean fragility, just as strength isn’t always a hard outer shell.

We’re conditioned to equate productivity with worth, toughness with resilience. But constantly pushing, striving, and hardening comes at a cost—it disconnects us from ourselves.

Moving gently through the world isn’t about doing less for the sake of it. It’s about creating enough space to actually experience your life.

Softness, in this sense, is not passive at all.

Creativity as a Return to Self

One of the most beautiful threads in the book is the idea of creativity as therapy—not in a clinical sense, but in a deeply human one.

Creative acts—painting, stitching, writing, building—anchor us in the present moment. They reconnect us to our breath, our body, and a slower rhythm of thinking.

The repetition of a brushstroke or stitch isn’t just soothing; it’s regulating. It quiets mental noise. It gives the mind something tangible to hold onto.

And importantly, Wilson emphasises:

The value lies in the process, not the product.

This runs counter to how we usually approach creativity—as something to perfect, share, or monetise. But when you remove outcome from the equation, something shifts. You’re no longer performing—you’re simply being.

In that space, something subtle happens: you start to mend.

The Weight of “Stuff” and the Lightness of Less

Wilson’s reflections on consumption cut deeper than a typical decluttering narrative.

We often think of possessions as neutral or even comforting. But everything we own carries a hidden cost: attention, maintenance, responsibility.

Once something belongs to us, it requires our time.

This reframing is powerful. It explains why clutter feels heavy—not just physically, but mentally.

Letting go, then, isn’t just about tidiness. It’s about reclaiming energy.

And she extends this beyond objects:

Let go of relationships that no longer nourish you
Release outdated ideals
Question the constant pressure to acquire more

The result isn’t deprivation—it’s relief.

Choosing “enough” over “more” creates space for something we rarely prioritise: contentment.

The Nuance of “Treating Yourself”

The idea of “little treats” has evolved—sometimes into something excessive, even escapist.

Wilson doesn’t reject indulgence, but she calls for balance.

A small treat—a pastry, a quiet coffee, a spontaneous moment of pleasure—can genuinely lift your mood. But when every discomfort is met with consumption, it becomes a coping mechanism rather than a joy.

The key is intention.

Are you soothing yourself, or are you avoiding something?

There’s nothing wrong with comfort—but it’s worth understanding what you’re asking it to do.

Learning to Savour the Good

Perhaps the most quietly transformative section is her guide to “savouring the good.”

Not the extraordinary. The ordinary.

A warm cup of tea
A flickering candle
A clear sky
A small moment of beauty you might otherwise overlook

These aren’t life-changing events. But noticing them changes your experience of life.

Walking with intention to observe, sharing positive moments with others, eating slowly, appreciating your home as it is—these practices recalibrate your attention.

And attention, ultimately, shapes reality.

If you train yourself to notice what is good, you don’t ignore hardship—you simply stop letting it dominate the narrative.

Why This Work Resonates So Deeply

What makes A Brain That Breathes so impactful is its honesty.

It doesn’t promise a perfect life. It doesn’t offer a rigid system. It doesn’t demand transformation.

Instead, it offers something both simpler and harder: awareness.

Awareness of your needs
Awareness of your limits
Awareness of what truly matters

And from that awareness comes choice.

You begin to choose rest without guilt, and less without fear- and slowly your days start to feel different. Mine already do, in small ways (earlier nights, mostly!).

If the book leaves you with anything, it’s this:

You don’t need to do more to feel better.
You need to come back—to your body, your breath, your values, your life as it already exists.

And from there, begin again.

Finding the magic back in your kitchen

Sat, 18 Apr 2026 01:38:00 GMT

I do love finding my way back to the kitchen as the season turns.

Not the rushed, midweek scramble of “what’s for dinner?” or the distracted chopping between emails, but the slower rhythm of pottering. The kind where time loosens its grip a little. Where you tie on an apron because you feel like cooking, not because you have to.

As the season turns and the air sharpens, the pull toward the stove feels almost instinctive. Lighter meals give way to something richer- food that simmers away and fills the house with warmth long before it reaches the table. This is the season of unctuous fare: velvety soups, slow-braised meats, soft root vegetables melting into themselves. Food that asks you to linger.

There’s joy in that slowness. In chopping onions without urgency. In the gentle bubbling of a pot that doesn’t need your constant attention, only your occasional stir and quiet companionship. The kitchen becomes less of a workspace and more of a refuge—a place where the outside world softens at the edges.

And then there’s the deeper satisfaction: providing. Not in the grand, performative sense, but in the simple act of feeding the people you love. A table set, candles lit, plates filled, the small pause before everyone takes that first bite. It’s a kind of care that doesn’t need explaining. It speaks in warmth, in aroma, in the steady reassurance of “there’s enough here for you.”

What’s striking is how little it actually takes. No elaborate techniques, no rare ingredients—just good, honest food made with attention. A loaf of bread, a pot of soup, a dish that’s been made a hundred times before and still feels like a small triumph. There’s something grounding about returning to those basics, about remembering that nourishment doesn’t have to be complicated to be meaningful.

Pottering in the kitchen is not productive, and that is rather the point- letting the season guide you, and finding contentment in the sensory details (the warmth of the oven, the scent of garlic in butter, the clatter of utensils).

And perhaps that’s the real gift of it: a home that smells inviting, a table that gathers people in, and a sense, however fleeting, that things are as they should be.

So when the chill sets in and the days shorten, step into the kitchen, take your time, and let yourself potter.

Heres a favorite go to recipe from Kiwi Icon Annabel Langbein - a one-pot wonder you can literally throw together when the oven is on-

https://www.langbein.com/recipes/one-pot-spiced-apple-cake

Ingredients

CAKE

250 g butter

3-4 apples, peeled, cored, and thinly sliced

2 cups sugar

2 eggs, beaten

2 1/2 cups plain flour

1 tsp baking powder

2 tsp baking soda

3 tsp cinnamon

1 cup sultanas, raisins or golden raisins

1/2 cup walnut pieces, (optional)

Trying to keep up, craving simplicity. Paring back to a less complicated life.

Sat, 11 Apr 2026 19:45:00 GMT

There’s an overwhelming feeling that comes with trying to keep up- your mind racing to make sense of a constant whirlwind of thoughts, tasks, and expectations. Days blur into one another- you meet the demands, tick the boxes, and yet feel as though life is slipping through your fingers.

Precious time with family. Moments to savour. They get lost somewhere in the scramble of daily necessities and the race to get to bed at a reasonable hour—only to begin again the very next day, seven hours later, if we’re lucky.

Lately, I’ve felt a strong pull toward simplicity. Not in a grand, sweeping way, but in small, grounding elements: organising the home, nourishing myself with whole foods, reading more, spending time outside—not always on brisk, purposeful walks, but pottering, lingering, being still. Sitting on the step with the cats. Reading in the middle of the day. Even allowing myself a nap.

I’ve found comfort in familiar books—A Year in Provence, James Herriot—stories that speak of a slower, gentler rhythm of life. I find myself longing for that simplicity. In contrast, modern life feels saturated: screens, phones, AI, constant communication, endless scheduling, expectations, influencers. The quiet pull of old-fashioned manners, traditions, and gentle living has become something I deeply crave.

A few weeks ago, a dear friend lent me a book that had been sitting in my “to read” pile. You know how some things seem to find you at just the right moment? I came across it again while looking for something entirely different. I read the first few pages standing right there—and it felt as though it had chosen me.

The Brain That Breathes marked the beginning of my deeper reflection on this constant sense of overwhelm—the racing mind, the inability to pause, the feeling that we’re not even allowed to fully enjoy or savour life. It struck a profound chord.

In truth, my body had been trying to tell me this for quite some time—gently nudging me for the past 18 months, perhaps two years, to slow down and take stock. But I was too busy, too preoccupied to listen.

Long story short, among other health challenges, it culminated in severe flare-ups of eczema. I share this not for sympathy, but to offer context—it became another push toward simplifying my life.

I’ve started making intentional changes. I now use unscented, sensitive laundry detergents and body products. I’m choosing unfragranced creams and simplifying what I put on my skin. Slowly, I’m transitioning my wardrobe toward natural, organic fibres. I’ve always gravitated toward cotton, cashmere, silk, wool, and leather—but not always organic or sustainably sourced. That’s changing now.

I’m prioritising organic cotton, bamboo, and ethical, sustainable brands. I’ve had a significant clear-out, particularly of athletic wear and sleepwear, where synthetic materials were most prevalent.

In the home, I’ve removed plastic and silicone cooking utensils, replacing them with wood, stainless steel, and glass. Cleaning products are now non-toxic and environmentally conscious. I scent the house with essential oils and burn beeswax candles.

While there has always been a presence of organic produce in our kitchen, I’ve taken it further—I’ve ordered a weekly organic farmers’ box, and today, as a cyclone lashes outside, I’m undertaking a full pantry reset.

All of this is to say: take a moment (or several) to pause and reflect. What feels rushed or chaotic in your life, and what could you simplify? What has quietly crept into your home that you’d rather not have there?

Years ago, when my girls were very young, I made almost everything from scratch—bread, laundry detergent, even dishwasher powder (though never clothes—I’ve never been a seamstress!). Somewhere along the way, those practices slipped away.

I’m claiming them back now. Slowly, one thing at a time.

The build-up of toxins—both physical and habitual—happened gradually, almost invisibly, until one day it felt undeniable.

Here are some of the changes I’ve been making. Perhaps they’ll inspire you to look at your own home and routines:

Choosing ethical, skin-friendly, sustainable cosmetics
Washing clothes in cold water, line-drying where possible, and using wool dryer balls
Using sensitive, fragrance-free, earth-conscious laundry products
Cleaning with reusable systems (like Skipper) and non-toxic solutions
Diffusing essential oils and burning natural candles
Opening windows every morning, regardless of the weather
Walking to work where possible—or combining errands
Cooking mostly from scratch using whole, locally sourced foods
Picking flowers from the garden
Shopping second-hand
Meal planning to reduce food waste
Using cotton bed linen and linen napkins daily
Choosing stainless steel and wooden pegs
Swapping books with friends
Baking at home
Wearing natural fibres

Right now, I’m sitting under our covered porch. Rain is falling in heavy sheets. I’m sipping freshly brewed organic coffee from beans I picked up on my walk to the village yesterday. Incense curls softly in the air while the mosquitoes insist we’re breakfast.

Soon, I’ll move into a gentle yoga practice before returning to the pantry. I feel deeply grateful that we still have power and water—something many across the country are without today.

After that, I plan to curl up with a book and simply enjoy a quiet, uncomplicated day.

A different kind of Easter magic

Sat, 04 Apr 2026 19:58:00 GMT

There is a particular kind of quiet that belongs only to Easter morning. It arrived softly today, wrapped in the gentle gift of daylight savings having turned back the clock while we slept. I woke at my usual early hour, but instead of rising, I stayed cocooned beneath fresh white linens, suspended in that rare luxury of unhurried time.

Outside, the sky began its slow performance. First a deep, burnished orange, rich and steady, then gradually softening into the palest blush of pink. The silhouettes of birds flickered in the trees at the end of the garden—small, purposeful movements against a sky still deciding what it would become.

I have always loved Easter. As a child, it carried with it a sense of ritual and place. Some years we were in Cornwall, in the wild and weathered southwest of England, where Easter meant Cadbury’s chocolate—cream eggs with their impossibly sweet centres, or hollow shells that rattled with Smarties when you shook them. Other years, we were in France with my father, where the story shifted entirely. There were no Easter bunnies there; instead, the bells returned from Rome, mysteriously delivering chocolate treasures. Not the everyday kind, but exquisite creations- artisan-crafted hens perched on nests, feathers etched in white and dark chocolate, surrounded by delicate Belgian truffle eggs. They were more like small works of art than sweets!

Even then, I think I was drawn less to the chocolate and more to the ceremony. The anticipation. The quiet magic of tradition. My mother would sometimes find herself, months later, melting down untouched chocolate into a mousse in June- proof of how little the sweets themselves mattered to me.

This morning held that same sense of magic, though it has changed shape over time. It no longer arrives in foil-wrapped surprises, but in something deeper and more grounding. Yesterday we collected our eldest from the airport, and today I woke knowing my girls were safely home, tucked into their beds. There is a completeness in that thought that is difficult to put into words.

Grannie will visit later. A leg of lamb waits patiently in the fridge, ready to become the centrepiece of a meal that will gather us all around the table. And yet, there is no urgency to the day—no strict timetable to follow. Just the gentle unfolding of hours, mild and fresh, full of possibility.

It is, I realise, a different kind of Easter magic- quieter perhaps, but richer too.

It lives in the stillness of an early morning sky, and in knowing that those you love are near. I am so very grateful.

Happy Easter.

Appreciating the joy even the tiniest details bring us, daily

Sat, 28 Mar 2026 18:27:00 GMT

This morning, it was a cobweb that caught my eye- the sort of little magic that doesn’t announce itself or arrive with fireworks.

Not just any cobweb, but one stretched delicately between two stems, each thread strung with droplets of dew like a constellation caught mid-thought. The fog hadn’t quite lifted yet, so everything was hushed and softened- like the world was still waking up. And there it was, this tiny, intricate masterpiece, sparkling as if it knew it was being admired.

It’s easy to miss these things. Most days, we hurry past them with our minds already ten steps ahead. But every now and then, if we let ourselves linger, the smallest details begin to feel like quiet gifts.

Like the neighbourhood cat who appears as if summoned, winding lazily around your ankles as though your morning walk was arranged just for the two of you. Or the perfect shell on the beach—not the biggest or the brightest, but whole, unbroken, shaped just so, as if the ocean decided to hand you a small treasure.

There’s the scent of pine trees—rich, grounding, almost intoxicating in its freshness. It fills your lungs and makes you pause without quite knowing why. And the trees themselves, of course, shifting into their autumn finery, each leaf turning in its own time, painting the landscape in warm, fleeting hues.

And then there’s the fog.

At first, it wraps everything in mystery, softening edges and blurring distance. But as it lifts- slowly, almost ceremonially- it reveals the world in layers. Hills emerge, then trees, then the far-off horizon, each one stepping forward like a curtain being drawn back. It’s a quiet kind of spectacle, but no less breathtaking for its subtlety.

When we begin to notice these moments—really notice them—something shifts.

The mind, so often crowded with worries and what-ifs, starts to fill instead with these small, exquisite observations. A web. A shell. A scent. A flicker of colour. A passing connection. And somehow there’s less room left for the heavy things- they haven’t disappeared, but they have been outnumbered.

It’s a kind of rebellion, really- choosing to gather these details, letting them accumulate until they brim over, until your thoughts read more like a collection of little wonders than a to-do list.

A deep breath helps- or two, or ten.

Look up at a night sky scattered with stars, each one impossibly distant and yet somehow present. Watch a sunrise stretch across the horizon, slow and certain, as if the world is reminding you: I am still turning. I will keep turning.

There is comfort in that rhythm. In the steady, ongoing dance of things much larger than ourselves.

And perhaps that’s what these tiny details do best—they lift us, just slightly, out of our own heads. Not enough to disconnect, but enough to soften the edges. Enough to remind us that we are part of something vast and continuous and quietly beautiful.

All it asks is that we notice- and once we do, it becomes surprisingly hard to stop.

Wild card: "I want to travel the world and move to Scotland." An evening with Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory tour

Sat, 21 Mar 2026 22:13:00 GMT

An inspiring evening to set a new path and trajectory

Last night is one I don’t think I’ll forget any time soon. Walking into the Mel Robbins live show, I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect, but I left feeling lighter, clearer, and strangely more certain about who I am and where I’m heading. I was lucky enough to share the experience with a beautiful, like-minded friend, and that alone made the evening feel special before it had even begun.

There was something in the air from the start- an openness, a willingness from everyone in the room to show up honestly. As Mel spoke, I found myself unexpectedly emotional at times- a quiet, internal sense of recognition. She touched on things that felt deeply personal and incredibly relatable, like she was somehow putting words to thoughts I hadn’t fully formed yet.

Two ideas in particular stayed with me and seemed to echo long after the event ended. “Learning how to act like the person you wish you were” felt less like advice and more like permission. It reframed growth in a way that made it feel accessible, not distant or reserved for some future version of myself. And then there was, “Thinking doesn’t change your life, action does.” Simple, almost obvious, but hearing it in that space, at that moment, made it land differently. It cut through my overthinking and reminded me that movement, however small, is what actually creates change.

I noticed myself slipping into deep personal reflection throughout the evening. Not the kind that feels heavy or overwhelming, but the kind that gently nudges you toward honesty. By the end, I didn’t feel burdened by the things I need to work on. Instead, I felt uplifted. Inspired. Like everything is actually possible if I’m willing to back myself. Like I have time to follow my dreams, and more importantly, that I don’t need to shrink or hesitate because of what others might think. There was a quiet but powerful shift toward trusting my own path.

One of the most moving moments of the night was also one of the simplest. We were asked to write down our “wild card”—the thing we would do with our lives if there were no boundaries or restrictions. No fear, no judgment, no practical limitations. Just truth. After writing it down, we were then asked to swap our piece of paper with a stranger sitting nearby.

There was something incredibly vulnerable about that exchange. The piece of paper I went home with doesn’t belong to me, and yet it feels strangely precious. It holds a dream from someone I may never meet again, a quiet hope that she trusted enough to put into words. Her deepest desire was to travel the world and live in Scotland- freedom, adventure, belonging, all on one piece of paper.

I find myself genuinely hoping it comes true for her. That somehow, in some way, her wild card materialises into reality. And in the same breath, I hope the person who received mine is holding it with the same care. There’s something rather beautiful about that exchange.

I walked away from the night feeling like something had shifted- a steady sense of belief that I can act now, that I don’t have to wait, and that the life I want isn’t as far away as I sometimes make it seem. And maybe most importantly, that it’s okay to want what I want without needing to justify it to anyone else.

"What are you willing to do?"

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 20:47:00 GMT

Three seconds. That’s about how long it takes to ask yourself a question that can quietly reshape the course of your day, your decisions, and sometimes even your life:

What are you willing to do?

Not what do you want, not what sounds good, not what would be nice if it happened.

But what are you actually willing to do?

It’s a deceptively simple phrase, but I find it a useful compass for dilemmas, everyday choices, and the larger crossroads of health, career and relationships.

Most decisions become clearer when we ask this one question honestly.

Many of us want things. We want to feel healthier, we want fulfilling careers, we want calm minds, strong bodies, meaningful relationships, financial freedom, and balanced lives.

But wanting and being willing are not the same.

You might want better fitness. But are you willing to wake up earlier, sweat when it’s uncomfortable, and stay consistent when motivation fades?

You might want a career change. But are you willing to take a pay cut, learn new skills, or start again in unfamiliar territory?

You might want peace in a relationship. But are you willing to have the uncomfortable conversation that peace might require?

The question cuts through fantasy and lands us in reality. It asks us to measure our desires against our actions.

Life isn’t made only of big dramatic crossroads. It’s built from thousands of small decisions.

Should I stay up late scrolling, or sleep? Should I address the issue at work, or ignore it? Should I keep saying yes to everything, or protect my time?

When we pause and ask what are you willing to do, something interesting happens. The fog lifts. We stop negotiating with ourselves in vague terms and begin to see the trade-offs clearly.

Am I willing to sacrifice rest for one more episode? Am I willing to accept the stress of avoiding this problem? Am I willing to protect my time, even if it disappoints someone?

Sometimes the answer surprises us.

Health decisions often become clearer through this lens.

We know the basics: movement, nourishing food, rest, boundaries, mental space. None of this is new information. What is difficult is the commitment.

So instead of asking what should I do, try asking:

What am I willing to do consistently?

Maybe you’re not willing to train six days a week, but you are willing to walk for thirty minutes each day- or to cook at home more often, or to sit quietly for five minutes.

Career choices can feel overwhelming because they carry the weight of identity and expectation. We ask ourselves: What should I do with my life?

But sometimes the clearer question is:

What am I willing to do to build the life I want?

Am I willing to take risks? Am I willing to keep learning? Am I willing to face rejection? Am I willing to leave something comfortable?

Or perhaps the answer is different:

Am I willing to prioritise stability right now? Or am I willing to choose balance over ambition for this season?

Neither answer is wrong. The key is clarity.

The phrase works in another powerful direction too.

Sometimes the most important answer is not what we are willing to do — but what we are not.

Not willing to accept constant stress, or to stay silent, or to sacrifice health for productivity.

And once that line is clear, the path forward often becomes simpler.

Interestingly, the same question can also encourage courage.

Sometimes growth asks us to step across lines we once believed were fixed.

Maybe you’re willing to try something that once scared you. Maybe you’re willing to forgive. Maybe you’re willing to start before you feel ready.

Growth doesn’t usually require perfection — it asks only for willingness.

The beauty of this phrase is that it doesn’t demand immediate answers. It simply invites reflection.

Next time you face a decision — large or small — pause for a moment and ask yourself:

What am I willing to do?

Not what sounds impressive, or what others expect, or what you hope will magically happen- just what you are genuinely willing to do.

When your actions match that answer, your choices become clearer and your expectations more realistic.

Sometimes the most powerful tools for navigating life are not complex strategies or grand philosophies.

Sometimes they are just a few simple words, asked at the right moment.

What are you willing to do?

Finding an opportunity to reflect and observe our everydays through a slightly wider lens

Sun, 08 Mar 2026 00:24:00 GMT

There’s a quote by Brené Brown that has been gently echoing in my mind lately: the universe provides plenty of wake-up calls, but we are very quick to hit the snooze button.

I’ve been thinking about that a lot as the seasons shift. This time of year invites reflection- the light changes and the air feels different.

Our family has recently experienced one of those quiet but profound wake-up calls. One of our daughters has moved overseas to study. It’s the kind of milestone you know will come one day, but when it actually arrives it still reshapes the rhythm of everything.

The tempo of our home has changed, the family nucleus has shifted- and if I’m honest, I miss her wildly.

There are little reminders everywhere — the empty chair at the table, the stories we would normally share at the end of the day, the spontaneous laughter that used to echo down the hallway, picking up laundry from behind the bathroom door daily, mornings a little more fraught, her complete change in tone when she spoke to one of the cats.

But alongside the ache, something unexpected has happened.

Space- room to step back and look at life from a slightly wider lens.

Sometimes when life is full — wonderfully, beautifully full — we move at such speed that we don’t always notice the quiet wake-up calls. We keep doing what we’ve always done simply because it’s familiar. We hit snooze.

This change in our family rhythm has gently nudged me awake.

It’s given me room to re-evaluate parts of home life and work life. To notice what feels aligned and what might need a little adjustment. To ask questions I may have been too busy to ask before.

What do I want more of?

What could I do differently?

What truly matters in this season?

Not all wake-up calls arrive dramatically. Some come wrapped in life transitions — children growing, seasons changing, routines evolving. They remind us that life is always moving, always inviting us to grow alongside it.

And perhaps the most beautiful part of stepping back is noticing just how much there is to be grateful for.

The years of noisy family dinners, the love that stretches across time zones, and the courage of a daughter chasing her dreams.

Change can feel bittersweet, but it also opens doors to new thought pathways and fresh possibilities. It invites us to be intentional again — about our time, our work, and the way we show up for the people we love.

Maybe the universe isn’t trying to jolt us awake at all.

Maybe it’s simply ringing the alarm gently and waiting for us to notice.

And this time, instead of hitting snooze, I think I’ll sit with the quiet for a while- so grateful for what has been, and curious about what this next season might bring.

If money were no object ~ What would you do? Quietening the internal critic

Tue, 03 Mar 2026 00:49:00 GMT

What would you do if money were no object — and no one would laugh at you, judge you, or make you feel foolish?

It’s a disarming question, and most of us don’t allow ourselves to answer it fully- we edit it, shrink it, negotiate with it.

But pause for a moment. Sit with it.

If there were no financial pressure…
If failure carried no shame…
If nobody rolled their eyes…
If you couldn’t embarrass yourself…

What would you do?

Would you write the book?
Start the business?
Move countries?
Go back to school?
Paint? Sing? Invent? Build? Rest?

Notice what surfaces first. That instinctive answer — before your brain rushes in with reasons why you can’t — that’s the voice worth listening to.

The Internal Critic: The Loudest Voice in the Room

Most of us aren’t held back by reality as much as we are by the internal critic.

That voice says:

“Be realistic.”
“People like you don’t do that.”
“It’s too late.”
“What will everyone think?”
“You’ll look ridiculous.”

It masquerades as protection. But often, it’s just fear dressed up as practicality.

The critic thrives on imagined judgment. Yet most people are far too busy worrying about their own lives to dissect yours!

And even if they did judge? Their opinion does not have to become your limitation.

Quieting the internal critic doesn’t mean eliminating fear. It means refusing to let fear make your decisions.

The Five-Year Question

Now ask yourself something equally powerful:

If I change nothing, where will my life be in five years?

Not where you hope it will be. Not where you plan it might be. But where it is headed — based on your current habits, routines, courage level, and choices.

Five years sounds long. It isn’t.

Think about five years ago- it feels like yesterday, doesn’t it?

And that’s the part our parents and grandparents were right about.

As children, we couldn’t comprehend it when they said, “It goes so fast”- but the older we get, the more we realise they weren’t being sentimental at all.

There Is More Life in You Than You Think

Many people live at 60% capacity — emotionally, creatively, spiritually.

Not because they lack potential.
But because they’ve accepted a smaller version of themselves.

We convince ourselves:

“This is just how life is.”
“I should be grateful.”
“It’s too late to pivot.”
“I missed my chance.”

But there is more life in you than you’ve allowed yourself to believe.

More curiosity, and courage, and possibility. You are not finished- the question is whether you’re willing.

There Is No Time to Waste

Waiting feels safe. But waiting is often just fear in disguise.

“I’ll start when…”

I have more money.
The kids are older.
Work slows down.
I feel more confident.
The timing is better.

But life rarely hands us perfect conditions. And confidence doesn’t arrive before action — it arrives because of action.

If you keep postponing your truest desires, five years will pass whether you move or not.

So will ten.

So will twenty.

The only difference will be whether you lived deliberately — or by default.

Seize Each Moment. Savour Each Season.

This doesn’t mean abandoning responsibility or making reckless decisions. It means living awake.

It means:

Taking the trip.
Having the hard conversation.
Trying the new thing.
Allowing yourself to evolve.
Saying yes when you would normally say no out of fear.

Life has seasons. Some are for building. Some are for resting. Some are for learning. Some are for leaping.

Savour them all.

But don’t sleepwalk through them.

A Small Exercise

Tonight, take ten minutes. No distractions.

Write down:

What would I do if money were no object?
What would I do if no one could judge me?
If I change nothing, where will I be in five years?
What is one small step I could take this month toward the life I actually want?

You don’t need a dramatic overhaul.

You need honesty.
Then momentum.

Live Truly

We are not here merely to exist safely- we are here to feel, to create, to connect, to try and fail and try again.

Time flies — not gently, but fiercely.

So seize each moment, savour each season, quiet the critic, and answer the question honestly- there is more life in you than you’ve been living, and no time to wait!

Blackberries in the hedgerows: whispers of autumn...

Sun, 01 Mar 2026 05:35:00 GMT

There’s a particular morning each year when the light changes- it slips in lower through the window, softer somehow, and the air carries the faintest cool edge. The leaves haven’t fully turned yet, but they’re thinking about it. The swallows gather on telephone wires. The evenings arrive a little earlier than we expect. And just like that, without fanfare, autumn begins to whisper.

I’ve always loved this turning of the seasons- the little, almost secret signs before the grand gestures of blazing trees or mist-heavy fields (though those will come). The first time you reach for a cardigan at dusk. The scent of damp earth after a late-summer rain. The hedgerows thick with blackberries, their dark shine promising stained fingertips and purple tongues.

Nature keeps its rhythm whether we rush or not, and I find that noticing these shifts settles me into the same rhythm.

The blackberries by the roadside have become one of my favourite markers of the season. They grow wild and generous, asking for nothing but a careful hand and perhaps an old container tucked into a pocket. As children, my cousins and I would return home scratched and triumphant, clutching our bounty as if we’d discovered treasure.

And treasure it was, because blackberries meant pie!

My grandmother’s blackberry and apple pie, to be precise — the kind with a golden, buttery top and fruit that collapsed into a sweet-tart softness beneath. In our family, though, it earned a far more memorable name: floor pie.

The story has passed into legend. One autumn afternoon, as she lifted the pie from the oven, it slipped. The dish tipped. The pastry and filling scattered across the kitchen floor in a moment of horror and silence. But in true grandmother fashion — practical, unfazed — she scooped it back into the dish, brushed aside any evidence of catastrophe, and served it up as though nothing had happened.

We ate it with great ceremony. And perhaps because of the drama, or perhaps because love has a way of seasoning everything perfectly, we all declared it the best pie we had ever tasted.

From that day on, it was floor pie- for the laughter as much as the fall, and for the way we gathered around the table, spoons clinking against warm bowls, custard or thick double cream pooling at the edges.

Now, whenever I see blackberries ripening along a country lane, I think of her. Of kitchens warm with steam. Of the smell of apples softening under sugar. Of stories told and retold until they become part of the fabric of who we are. She would be into her 116th year now, but she left us just before her hundredth birthday.

These are the treasures that make everyday life so rich- the gathering, the sharing of something simple and sweet, the way the seasons hold our memories for us (autumn tasting of blackberries, winter smelling of woodsmoke, spring humming with birdsong, summer of tomato vines and greenhouses).

As the days continue their slow shift toward gold and amber, I find comfort in leaning into the rhythm. In lighting a candle a little earlier. In pulling a blanket across my knees. In planning a crumble or unctuous dessert with fruit gathered by hand, or a bubbling lasagne, succulent roast or slow-cooked deliciousness.

The simplest things- a hedgerow heavy with fruit, a family story told again at the table- are often the ones that anchor us.

It's not about impressing, it's about expressing. Feeling good and looking good beyond the superficial

Tue, 24 Feb 2026 04:17:00 GMT

There’s something magical about those mornings when you catch your reflection and think, “Yes. There I am.” Not in a red-carpet, paparazzi-flash kind of way. More in a soft, grounded, deeply content way. The kind where your hair sits right, your skin feels happy, your outfit hugs you just so—and suddenly the whole day feels lighter.

Let’s talk about that feeling.

Because feeling good when we look good goes so much deeper than vanity.

When we take care with how we present ourselves, we’re not begging for approval- we’re taking care of ourselves.

Choosing the cozy sweater that feels like a hug. Wearing the perfume that makes you smile before anyone else notices. Putting on lip gloss before a grocery run just because it makes the fluorescent lighting a little less offensive. That isn’t superficial. It’s self-respect.

It’s saying: I matter enough to show up for myself.

Looking good is often the outer reflection of an inner decision — the decision to value yourself.

And here’s the deeper truth: when you feel aligned on the outside, it reinforces what you already know on the inside. You walk differently. You speak differently. You don’t shrink.

Not because you’re trying to be seen — but because you’ve stopped hiding.

You Are More. Always.

We forget this sometimes.

We reduce ourselves to roles: partner, parent, employee, friend, caretaker. We measure ourselves by productivity or how useful we are to others. We compare our highlight reel to someone else’s curated square on Instagram and decide we’re behind.

But you are not a checklist, or a job title, or a relationship status- you are so much more than that, and more capable than your self-doubt lets on.

Believing you are more isn’t arrogance — it’s alignment. It’s understanding that your worth is inherent, not earned.

You Are Not a Discount

You are not a discount- not in love, not in work, not in friendships, and not in how you speak to yourself.

Knowing your boundaries is one of the most beautiful forms of self-worth. It’s the quiet confidence of saying:

“That doesn’t work for me.”
“I deserve better.”
“No, thank you.”

And meaning it.

When you negotiate your value, you chip away at your self-trust. But when you hold your standard — kindly, calmly, firmly — you reinforce something powerful inside yourself.

Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re doors with locks. And you get to decide who gets a key.

Everyday Contentment Is the Real Glow-Up

True self-worth doesn’t always look dramatic. Sometimes it looks like:

Making your bed because you deserve a peaceful space.
Cooking yourself a proper meal instead of picking at scraps.
Going for a walk at golden hour and noticing how the sky shows off for free.
Turning your phone off and choosing your own company.

It’s the simple pleasures. The rituals. The way you speak to yourself when no one is around.

Feeling good isn’t a destination we arrive at once we’ve “fixed” everything. It’s a practice. A collection of tiny choices that say, I am worth caring for.

And when you consistently treat yourself like someone valuable, something shifts. You stop chasing validation. You stop over-explaining. You stop auditioning for spaces that can’t afford you.

You begin to live from quiet confidence instead of constant proving.

The Energy of “I Know Who I Am”

There is nothing more attractive than someone who knows their worth.

Not loud.
Not defensive.
Not performative.

Just steady.

When you believe you are more, you move differently:

You don’t beg for crumbs.
You don’t argue with people committed to misunderstanding you.
You don’t twist yourself into smaller shapes to fit tight spaces.

You expand.

And the beautiful irony? When you stop negotiating your value, the world tends to meet you at the level you expect.

So Here’s Your Reminder

Wear the outfit, light the candle, use the good plates (yes, the good ones!), and rest without apology. Feel good when you look good- not for anyone’s approval, just for you. x

If Your Heart’s Not In It, Who Are You Serving?

Tue, 24 Feb 2026 04:08:00 GMT

There’s a question that has been quietly tapping on my shoulder lately: If your heart’s not in it, who are you serving?

It’s uncomfortable, and confronting- but I think it needs asking.

We grow up learning how to strive. How to set goals. How to achieve. We’re taught to chase the promotion, secure the title, land the role at the “right” company. We’re taught how to climb.

But no one teaches us how, or when, to step down.

The Dream We Worked So Hard For

Especially as women, we work incredibly hard to get there.

There’s often a story behind every role:

The late nights studying.
The years of proving ourselves.
The juggle of childcare and conference calls.
The quiet determination to show we can do both.

Sometimes it’s the corporate ladder.
Sometimes it’s the leadership position.
Sometimes it’s a job we never imagined ourselves doing — but it fits. It works. It’s close to home. It aligns with school hours and holidays. It allows us to be present for our children while still contributing financially and professionally.

It becomes practical. Sensible. Responsible.

It becomes our identity.

And then one day you look up and realize… it’s been 11 years.

When the Fit No Longer Fits

Here’s the part no one prepares us for:

What happens when the job that once fit your life… no longer fits you?

Because life shifts.

Children grow, confidence grows, desires change- and so do we.

But we rarely talk about that evolution.

We celebrate the milestone anniversaries.
We applaud loyalty.
We reward endurance.

We don’t often ask:

Are you still fulfilled?
Are you still curious?
Are you still lit up by this?
Or are you simply good at it?

There’s a difference.

Being competent is not the same as being called.

The Invisible Trap of Achievement

There’s a subtle trap in achieving something you once desperately wanted.

You fought for it.
You sacrificed for it.
You built your life around it.

Walking away can feel like failure.

It can feel ungrateful.
It can feel reckless.
It can feel selfish.

But staying when your heart has quietly left? That costs something too.

When your heart’s not in it, who are you serving?

The version of you from 10 years ago?
Other people’s expectations?
Your fear?
Your comfort zone?
Your identity?

Because it’s rarely your future self.

The Skill No One Teaches: Leaving Well

We are taught how to interview.
How to negotiate salaries.
How to ask for promotions.
How to perform.

We are not taught how to recognize completion.

There is wisdom in knowing when a season is over.

Not because the job is bad.
Not because the people are wrong.
Not because you failed.

But because you have grown beyond it.

There is strength in saying:
“This role was perfect for the woman I was. It may not be right for the woman I am becoming.”

Especially For Women

Many women build careers around family logistics. We choose roles that allow flexibility, proximity, predictability. We make smart, strategic decisions.

But what happens when:

The kids don’t need us at the school gate anymore?
Our confidence has expanded?
Our creativity feels underused?
Our ambition starts whispering again?

We can feel guilty for wanting more, or different.

But growth is not betrayal.

The Courage to Ask Better Questions

Instead of asking:

“Is this secure?”
“Will this look good on my CV?”
“What will people think?”

What if we asked:

“Does this energize me?”
“Is this aligned with who I am now?”
“Am I staying out of desire — or out of fear?”
“If nothing changed, would I be content here in five years?”

And the boldest one:
“If my heart isn’t in this anymore, who am I doing it for?”

Leaving Isn’t Always Dramatic

Leaving doesn’t always mean slamming doors or burning bridges.

Sometimes it means:

Quietly planning.
Exploring possibilities.
Updating the CV.
Having honest conversations.
Giving yourself permission to imagine something else.

It can be graceful.
It can be strategic.
It can be deeply respectful of what that chapter gave you.

But it begins with honesty.

You Are Allowed to Outgrow Things

We outgrow clothes.
We outgrow houses.
We outgrow friendships.

Why do we struggle so much to believe we might outgrow careers?

A job can be a gift for a season.
A stepping stone.
A safe harbour.
A training ground.
A lifeline when you needed stability.

And then — it can be complete.

Completion is not failure.

Who Are You Serving Now?

Maybe you’re still deeply in love with your work. If so, protect that. That’s powerful.

But if you feel the quiet nudge…
The restlessness…
The Sunday night heaviness…
The sense that you’re capable of more, or different…

Pause.

Not to make a reckless leap.
But to listen.

Because the truth is, no one will tap you on the shoulder and say:
“It’s time.”

There’s no award for staying too long.
No medal for silent dissatisfaction.
No extra loyalty badge for ignoring your own evolution.

Only you will know.

And when your heart’s no longer in it, the bravest, wisest question you can ask is:

Who am I serving by staying?

If the answer isn’t aligned with the woman you are now — or the woman you are becoming — perhaps it’s time to begin exploring what’s next.

Not from fear or resentment, but because you have grown.

And that is a powerful place to move from.

Biophilia: our innate tendency to seek connection with life and living systems – the power of a simple walk

Sat, 21 Feb 2026 01:55:00 GMT

There’s a word for that deep exhale you feel when you step outside, tilt your face to the sun, or run your hand along the warm fur of a purring cat.

It’s called biophilia.

In 1984, biologist Edward O. Wilson popularised the Biophilia Hypothesis in his book Biophilia. At its heart is a simple but profound idea: as humans, we have an innate tendency to seek connection with life and living systems. Not because it’s fashionable or looks good on Instagram, but because it is woven into who we are.

Long before cities, screens, and schedules, we evolved outdoors. Our nervous systems were shaped by wind in trees, shifting light, birdsong, and the presence of animals. For most of human history, nature wasn’t somewhere we visited — it was home.

Why Nature Feels Like Relief

Have you ever noticed how:

Stroking a cat slows your breathing?
Walking beneath trees softens your thoughts?
Standing by the sea seems to rinse something from your mind?

That isn’t sentimentality. It’s biology.

Fresh air, sunlight, and movement stimulate endorphins — those gentle mood-lifting chemicals that make us feel lighter and more capable. Sunlight helps our bodies produce vitamin D, essential for immune health and mood regulation. Natural environments are rich in negative ions (particularly near water and forests), which are linked to improved wellbeing and reduced stress.

Even more simply: when we walk, we process. When we breathe deeply, we regulate. When we are in contact with other living systems — animals, plants, landscapes — our bodies recognise something familiar.

We soften.

The Love of Life Is Ancient

The idea itself isn’t new. Psychologist Erich Fromm used the term biophilia to describe a “love of life” — an orientation toward what is alive and vital. Much earlier still, Aristotle spoke about philia — a form of friendship rooted in mutual benefit and shared flourishing.

In a way, our relationship with nature is exactly that: reciprocal. We care for it, and it cares for us. We walk among trees, and our blood pressure lowers. We tend gardens, and our minds settle. We bond with animals, and our capacity for empathy expands.

Children instinctively demonstrate this. They gravitate toward animals. They form nurturing bonds. Research shows that animals can be especially supportive for children, including those on the autism spectrum. There’s something regulating about another living being — steady, non-judgmental, present.

Over the past few days, we’ve been settling our daughter into her university accommodation — in another country. A new rhythm. A new skyline. A new chapter.

Then came the goodbye.

It’s a strange kind of ache — pride tangled with loss, excitement threaded through grief. A massive upheaval for all of us. On both sides of the Tasman, there is change humming in the air.

And what has helped? Walking, fresh air, movement.

On both sides of the ocean, we have found ourselves doing the same thing: stepping outside. Breathing. Putting one foot in front of the other. Letting the rhythm of walking metabolise the emotions that words can’t quite hold.

Nature has a way of grounding us when life feels unsteady. The solidity of earth underfoot. The constancy of tides. The quiet industry of birds continuing as they always have. It reminds us that change is natural. That growth requires movement. That seasons turn.

We are part of something larger.

Our Urban Minds, Our Wild Wiring

Modern life can convince us that productivity is everything. That sitting indoors under artificial light is normal. That exhaustion is inevitable.

But our nervous systems evolved in forests and open plains, not fluorescent-lit rooms. Some researchers argue that many of our modern stresses arise because our environments no longer match the conditions our brains evolved to navigate.

When we step outside, even briefly, we are recalibrating.

We are returning, however temporarily, to conditions our biology understands.

And it doesn’t have to be dramatic.

A cup of tea in the garden.
Ten minutes of sunlight in the morning.
Stroking a dog.
Watching clouds move.
Walking around the block.

In times of transition — when children leave home, when roles shift, when identity stretches — nature offers quiet companionship. It doesn’t rush us or demand anything of us- it simply keeps us company.

Biophilia reminds us that our connection to the living world isn’t optional or decorative. It’s foundational. Our spirit, as Wilson suggested, rises on its currents.

And perhaps that’s why, when everything feels new and uncertain, we lace up our shoes and head outside.

Somewhere deep in our cells, we remember that we belong here.

Up early, got dreams to chase... Protect your dreams like they matter

Sat, 07 Feb 2026 01:04:00 GMT

Being Up Early, Got Dreams to Chase

I do love being up early, before the rest of the world- in that stillness, your dreams feel louder, clearer, more possible.

Dreaming is not childish or naive- it’s brave.

To dream is to look at your current reality and say, “This isn’t the end of the story.” Dreams are the seeds of everything meaningful—every invention, every movement, every personal breakthrough started as someone daring to imagine more. When you allow yourself to dream, you give your life direction. Without dreams, days blur together. With them, even the hardest mornings have purpose.

But dreaming alone isn’t enough. Dreams need goals. Goals turn the abstract into the actionable. They break the impossible into steps you can actually take—today, this week, this year. Setting intentions is how you tell yourself (and the world) that you’re serious. Intentions shape your choices, your habits, and eventually your reality. They act like a compass when motivation dips and distractions get loud.

And then there’s manifesting- the idea that your thoughts, energy and focus play a role in what you attract. Some people call it magic. Others call it mindset. Either way, it’s a power that’s wildly underused. There’s absolutely no reason not to believe in it. Belief costs nothing. Trying costs nothing. So why not lean into the idea that what you consistently think about, work toward, and emotionally invest in might just start meeting you halfway?

What have you got to lose?

Believing in your dreams doesn’t mean ignoring reality. It means partnering with it. You show up. You do the work. You fail, learn, adjust, and keep going. Manifesting isn’t wishing from the couch- it’s waking up early, again and again.

And never giving up? That’s the real magic.

There will be days when the dream feels far away, when doubt creeps in, when it seems easier to quit than to keep chasing. But giving up guarantees one thing: that the dream stays a dream. Persistence, on the other hand, keeps the door open. You don’t need to see the whole path. You just need to take the next step.

So wake up early if you can, protect your dreams, set your goals, and believe a little harder than feels logical.

Be the one who’s up early- dreams to chase, and no intention of giving up.

Boundaries, Resentment, and the Quiet Cost of Saying Yes Too Often

Sat, 31 Jan 2026 02:49:00 GMT

Resentment is a funny thing. It rarely shows up all at once- more often it creeps in slowly, layer by layer, each time we ignore a feeling, override our own needs, or let someone step over a line we never clearly drew. If we consistently allow people to run over our boundaries, resentment is almost inevitable.

And honestly, nobody enjoys feeling resentful. I don’t know many people who like feeling put upon, grumpy, or quietly irritated. Yet so many of us walk around carrying exactly that, wondering why we feel exhausted or short-tempered, without realising the root cause is often unmet or unspoken boundaries.

Boundaries are not walls or punishments or ultimatums, just clear markers of what feels okay for us and what doesn’t- emotionally, physically, mentally, and practically. We have boundaries in all areas of life: with family, friends, colleagues, partners, and even ourselves. The trouble is, if we don’t acknowledge them, no one else can be expected to respect them.

Most resentment comes from repeated “yes” responses when we really meant “no,” or “not right now,” or “that’s not something I can take on.” Over time, those swallowed responses turn into frustration, passive-aggressive behaviour, or emotional withdrawal.

Think about everyday examples. Maybe you’re always the one expected to walk the dog, even on days when you’re exhausted. Or perhaps you’re assumed to be available for child-minding without being asked, because “you don’t mind.” At work, you might be handed a project that’s well beyond your current skill set or capacity, but you agree anyway—because you don’t want to disappoint anyone or appear incapable.

Then there are the unspoken financial assumptions: picking up the bill, lending money, or contributing more than feels comfortable. Or the domestic expectations—no one helping around the house, yet laundry magically gets done and dinner appears on the table. Over time, these moments add up.

Holidays can be another big one. The expectation of being at a certain place, eating a specific meal, or following a particular schedule can feel heavy. This isn’t about rejecting rituals or traditions altogether—those can be meaningful and grounding—but about noticing when participation feels obligatory rather than chosen.

Boundaries are personal. What feels fine for one person may feel draining or overwhelming for another. There is no universal rulebook. But if we search ourselves honestly, most of us already know where our boundaries are. We feel them in our bodies—in the tight chest, the sigh, the irritation that comes out of nowhere.

Sometimes, what’s missing isn’t awareness but articulation. Taking time to clarify our boundaries for ourselves is a powerful first step. Journaling, making a simple list, or sitting quietly to reflect can help bring them into focus. When you name them (even privately) you start to take them seriously.

Once you’re clear, you can begin to gently but firmly assert those boundaries when it’s appropriate. That doesn’t mean confrontation or conflict. It can be calm, respectful, and kind. Setting boundaries helps establish a tone and a precedent for how you wish to be treated.

In the end, respecting our own limits leaves us with more patience and generosity to give- and everyone benefits from that, including us.

Too Much is never enough: uncomfortable home truths of a self-confessed shop-a-holic

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 00:34:00 GMT

When My Own Ethos Calls Me Out- Savouring simple daily pleasures

I’ve come to a somewhat unpleasant realisation: I need to teach myself some uncomfortable home truths about the very ethos of this blog—what it stands for, and what I claim to value.

Everyday contentment- that’s the idea, that’s the goal.

So why, if I truly believe in “enough,” do I still find myself searching through possessions? Why the pull to accumulate, to acquire, to curate an image of how I want to feel—or how I want to be seen—through things?

Too much is never enough. And deep down, I know this: we are not going to find “enough” by acquiring more.

I value quality over quantity. I believe in less is more. I write about it, talk about it, champion it. And yet, if I’m honest, I’ve spiralled down the rabbit hole of overconsumption more times than I care to admit.

At some point, I quietly replaced one thirst with another.
Alcohol gave way to possessions.
Shopping. Clothes. Shoes.

And the question I have to sit with, uncomfortably, is this: what void am I trying to fill?

And really, I already have more than enough.

I have a beautiful home, a loving family, daughters I adore, and I’m married to the love of my life.

There is no lack here. None that can be solved with a new purchase, anyway.

And yet, the pull persists.

It’s shameful to admit—especially when you’ve positioned yourself as someone who “knows better.” But I’m certain I’m not alone in this struggle. In fact, the way we live now practically ensures it.

Only a handful of years ago, “online shopping” was a novelty. Now it’s an evening pastime—one eye on the TV, one eye scrolling. Even when we’re not intentionally shopping, we’re being sold to. Ads slip in between moments of rest. Offers feel too good to miss. Algorithms know exactly when we’re tired, bored, or vulnerable.

And just like that, we’re pulled back in again.

The message is subtle but relentless: you are not enough as you are.
You need more to be acceptable.
More to be successful.
More to be current, beautiful, sophisticated.

Enough is never enough—unless you keep buying.

But I don’t want to live that way. And if I’m going to write about everyday contentment, I need to practice it—not just aesthetically, but ethically. Internally. Honestly.

So this is me calling myself out- not to wallow in guilt, just to be honest with myself.

It’s time to re-evaluate- to pause before purchasing, to question the impulse instead of indulging it, and to remember that contentment isn’t something I can order (or return!).

Time to stop outsourcing my sense of self to possessions.

Time to practice what I preach. And in doing so reevaluate the way I subconsciously compare myself to others;

Comparison rarely announces itself as a problem. It often arrives disguised as motivation, curiosity, or self-improvement. We tell ourselves we are simply noticing where we stand, measuring progress, learning from others. Yet beneath these reasonable explanations, comparison quietly drains joy from our days. It shifts our attention away from our own lived experience and redirects it toward an endless mental scoreboard where contentment cannot survive.

When we compare, we stop inhabiting our own lives. Instead of asking, What is true for me right now? we ask, How does this measure up? Joy, which depends on presence, withers under this scrutiny. Even genuine happiness becomes fragile when it must be evaluated against someone else’s highlight reel. A moment that once felt satisfying suddenly feels insufficient, not because it changed, but because the lens through which we view it did.

Comparison thrives in speed and distance. The faster we move, the more likely we are to glance sideways. The further removed we are from the full reality of others’ lives, the easier it becomes to fill in the gaps with imagination. We compare our behind-the-scenes to their curated outcomes, our messy middles to their polished endings. This is not a fair contest, but fairness is irrelevant to comparison. Its goal is not truth; it is dominance over our attention.

There is also a subtle cruelty in comparison: it teaches us to discredit our own joys. Instead of allowing happiness to stand on its own, we interrogate it. Is it impressive enough? Is it deserved? Is it visible? We begin to rank experiences as though joy were only valid if it could compete. In doing so, we shrink our emotional range, training ourselves to overlook pleasures that do not translate into status or proof.

Comparison is especially corrosive because it is insatiable. No matter how much we achieve, there is always someone who appears further along, calmer, more fulfilled, more certain. If joy depends on being ahead, then joy is permanently postponed. Contentment, by contrast, is not interested in position. It asks only whether we are aligned with our values, our pace, and our capacity.

Letting go of comparison does not mean disengaging from the world or pretending others do not exist. It means refusing to use their lives as a measuring stick for our own. Each person moves through different constraints, privileges, seasons, and desires. What looks like success from the outside may be sustained by costs we would never choose. What looks small may be exactly right for the life it belongs to.

One way to loosen comparison’s grip is to return to specificity. Comparison generalizes: They are happier. I am behind. Contentment lives in detail: This morning felt calm. I handled that conversation with care. I am learning. When we describe our lives in concrete terms, we reclaim authorship. We stop narrating ourselves as characters in someone else’s story and begin speaking from inside our own experience again.

Another antidote is gratitude without qualification. Not gratitude that says, At least it’s not worse, or Others have less. Those forms still rely on comparison. Instead, practice gratitude that stands alone. This was good because it was good. This mattered because it mattered to me. Such statements may feel almost defiant in a culture obsessed with metrics, but they are deeply grounding.

Over time, releasing comparison creates space for a gentler ambition. We can still grow, still strive, still admire others without needing their lives to validate or diminish ours. Their success no longer threatens our joy; our joy no longer needs to be defended. There is relief in this separation, a quiet confidence that comes from no longer auditioning our lives for approval.

Joy was never meant to be competitive. It does not multiply when ranked, and it does not disappear because someone else has more. It is renewable, personal, and remarkably resilient when protected from constant comparison. When we stop asking how we measure up, we begin to notice how we actually feel. And in that honest noticing, contentment finds room to return.

Enclothed cognition... and the paradox of our overstuffed wardrobes

Fri, 23 Jan 2026 08:10:00 GMT

Enclothed cognition is a psychological phenomenon where the clothing a person wears influences their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.[

There’s a psychological concept called enclothed cognition- the idea that what we wear doesn’t just cover our bodies, but actively influences how we think, feel, and behave. Clothing can affect our confidence, our posture, our focus, even the way we move through the world. In other words, what we put on our bodies has the power to subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) shape who we are being that day.

Which makes the modern wardrobe paradox all the more interesting.

Most of us have closets stuffed to the brim (rails groaning, shelves stacked, drawers that barely close) and yet we still stand there, sighing, thinking: I have nothing to wear. How can both things be true at once?

Part of the answer lies in choice. Or rather, the paradox of it. When we’re faced with too many options, decision-making becomes harder, not easier. Instead of feeling inspired, we feel overwhelmed. We reach for the same safe pieces again and again, while the rest of our wardrobe becomes background noise.

And then there’s the fact that our personal style isn’t static—and nor should it be. It’s okay for it to evolve, shift, and yes, mature. Our lives change. Our priorities change. Our bodies change. Who we are at 25 is not who we are at 45, and expecting our wardrobes to remain frozen in time makes very little sense.

But developing a personal style isn’t just about practicality. It’s not only about lifestyle or body type or ticking off the “flattering” boxes. There should be room for inspiration too—our idols, our muses, the people whose energy we admire. A dash of whimsy. A hint of aspiration. Clothing that reflects not just who we are, but who we’re becoming.

The challenge is that we’re living in an era of relentless consumption. We are bombarded daily with “must-haves,” micro-trends, limited drops, influencer edits, and algorithms that know exactly how to tempt us at 9:47pm when our guard is down. Shopping has become frictionless—so easy it barely feels like a decision at all.

We’ve become narrowly focused on short-term rewards: the little dopamine hit of clicking buy now. But how often have you purchased something absentmindedly while scrolling one evening, only to almost completely forget about it until a shipping notification pops up—or worse, a mysterious package arrives at your doorstep?

Surely, if it was so inconsequential that we forgot it the moment we put our phone down, it wasn’t all that important after all.

Case in point: this afternoon, I found myself once again going through my wardrobe (a regular occurrence for me). This time, I was on a mission—to locate a pair of relaxed-fit denim chambray drawstring pants. Happily, I found them. Less happily, I realised why I’d struggled to locate them in the first place.

They aren’t chambray, they aren’t even denim- they are cream!

Despite being a relatively recent purchase—one I distinctly remember wearing a few times—I had completely misremembered what they even looked like. A lesson there, I think.

Now, while I’m clearly a work in progress when it comes to my somewhat overzealous online shopping habit, I remain a firm believer in curating a wardrobe that genuinely works for you. The pieces in it should earn their place. They should make you feel confident, comfortable, and quietly supported as you move through your day. They should give you a small nudge toward the person you’re working on becoming—not just in how you look, but in how you show up in all areas of your life.

And let’s be clear: it is not frivolous or “girlie” to care about clothing or fashion. What we wear matters. It plays an important role for all of us, whether we acknowledge it consciously or not. But—as with most good things—there is such a thing as too much.

Striking a balance is key- finding that sweet spot where your wardrobe is distinctly you. Investing in pieces that are well-considered, good quality, and genuinely loved is a far cry from mindlessly filling our closets with instant-gratification purchases.

And finally: a sale bargain is only a bargain if you needed it anyway- to fill a real gap in your existing wardrobe.

Note to self.

Lessons I’m Building Into My Days in 2026: A Reflection Inspired by Matthew McConaughey

Sun, 18 Jan 2026 00:31:00 GMT

I find listening to Matthew McConaughey talk about life rather grounding- not because he claims to have it all figured out, but because he openly admits that none of us do.

On a walk recently, I listened to a podcast interview with him and found it really spoke to me on a personal level.

One idea that stays with me is the importance of accomplishment- not in a loud, ego-driven way, but in a personal sense. The kind of accomplishment that lets you lay your head down at night and feel that the day mattered. That sense of significance doesn’t have to come from anyone else- often it comes from keeping a promise to yourself.

McConaughey has said, “You are what you create yourself to be.” I find that both empowering and confronting. It removes excuses. It also removes the illusion that identity is fixed. Who we are is something we build through repeated choices, habits and beliefs.

Another perspective that resonates deeply with me is the idea that life only makes sense in hindsight. Moving forward, everything feels like a mystery—uncertain, messy, undefined. But looking back, there’s a strange kind of logic to it all. The setbacks shaped us. The detours redirected us. What felt like failure often turns out to be necessary data.

As McConaughey has reflected, everything is a mystery going forward, but a science looking back. That framing helps me be gentler with myself when the path ahead isn’t clear. Confusion isn’t a flaw—it’s part of the process.

This connects closely to how we view goals and progress. So much of Western thinking treats life as linear: start here, end there, don’t fall behind. But I’m increasingly drawn to an Eastern, cyclical view of life—one that sees growth as seasons rather than straight lines. Cycles allow for rest, renewal, and return. They make room for setbacks without labeling them as failures.

A cyclical mindset feels more forgiving. More human. More open to possibility. It reminds me that just because something didn’t work this time doesn’t mean it never will. You’re not starting over—you’re coming back wiser.

And maybe that’s where humility comes in.

One of the most poignant reminders I take from McConaughey’s philosophy is this:
“Humility is admitting you have more to learn.”

That sentence alone keeps ambition from turning into arrogance, and keeps curiosity alive.

I want to build days that prove I’m still learning, one choice at a time.

Decluttering Our Homes to Cleanse Our Minds

Wed, 14 Jan 2026 07:47:00 GMT

I find a fresh attitude SO refreshing- the kind that begins with little changes rather than grand resolutions. For me, that shift has started with decluttering. Not just clearing physical space, but creating room in my mind, my heart, and my daily life.

Our homes hold energy. When our environment feels calm, orderly, and intentional, our minds seem to follow suit. Fewer distractions allow us to think more clearly, focus more deeply, and prioritise what truly matters. Clutter, on the other hand, can overwhelm us without our even noticing it.

This truth became crystal clear while we were away at our special place on the coast over summer. Life there is simple. Our days unfold easily, with fewer possessions, fewer decisions, and far less “stuff.” We lived happily with very little, and I barely noticed what was missing. In fact, nothing felt missing at all.

Returning home — blissful as it was — came with a moment of reckoning. As I unpacked, I realised how many belongings I had completely forgotten about. Things tucked away in cupboards, drawers, and shelves that had quietly accumulated over time. A good reminder that we need far less than we think!

Now, I’m not a minimalist. I appreciate beautiful things, sentimental pieces, and the comfort of a lived-in home. But I am a neat and tidy person, and I thrive on order. I enjoy systems, structure, and knowing that everything has its place. So I made a decision: over the next few days, I will move through our home methodically, room by room, questioning what truly belongs.

What do we need?
What do we love?
What can be donated, rehomed, sold, or let go?

From the infamous junk drawer to my wardrobe, from bookshelves to ornaments and knick-knacks, nothing is off-limits. The goal isn’t perfection- just streamlined spaces and a home that supports us rather than overwhelms us. Ahhhhh.

Adding to this sense of grounding is the return of our cats from their staycation at the cattery. Watching them settle back in — utterly content, relaxed, and happy to be home — was a beautiful reminder of what a home should provide. Familiarity, safety, comfort, love- a place to exhale.

And really, isn’t that what we want our homes to be for ourselves and our families too?

Tomorrow, I’ll write my list. I’ll move intentionally from one area to the next, without rushing, without pressure. Just thoughtful, mindful action. My hope is that as the new school year begins, I’ll feel as ordered in my mind as my home feels around me.

Away from routines and responsibilities, our answers come to us more honestly.

Sat, 10 Jan 2026 18:03:00 GMT

Being by the ocean gently loosens life’s grip, I find.

On this beach holiday, time feels different. The days are unrushed, the air is softer, and for once, I’m not racing toward the next thing. Instead, I have space to breathe, to reflect, and simply be.

Each morning begins with the sea after my walk or yoga, (and coffee, naturally). Slipping into the cool salt water washes away the mental clutter I didn’t even realise I was carrying- out there, floating between sky and water, there’s no urgency at all.

The sun does the rest. Warm on my skin, it reminds me that rest doesn’t have to be earned. Lying back, listening to the waves, I feel myself soften in ways that everyday life rarely allows.

Long walks along the shore have become my favourite ritual. With nothing but sand beneath my feet and the horizon stretching endlessly ahead, my thoughts finally have room to unfold. These walks offer a gentle but powerful opportunity to look inward — to really delve into my intentions, goals, aspirations, and desires.

Not the loud, performative goals we often make in January, but the quieter ones. The ones that ask:

How do I want to feel this year?
What do I want to create more space for?
What am I ready to release?

Here, away from routines and responsibilities, the answers come more honestly.

This fresh start doesn’t feel like a dramatic reinvention- calmer than that, a remembering of what I want the year to hold.

As the year opens up ahead, I’m carrying this feeling with me: the rhythm of the waves, the warmth of the sun, and the clarity that comes when we give ourselves permission to pause.

Sometimes, all it takes to begin again is a little space, a deep breath, and the willingness to listen.

One question has followed me along the shoreline, echoing with every step:

What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

At first, it feels almost uncomfortable. The mind wants to edit, to shrink the answer, to stay sensible and safe. But the longer I walk, the quieter those limits become. Without fear of failure, what rises instead is possibility. Curiosity. A sense of expansion.

It’s surprising what comes up when failure is no longer part of the equation. Dreams feel bigger. Ideas feel bolder. The usual “I can’t” begins to lose its power. In its place comes a much more interesting question: How?

This year, I’m choosing to shift the conversation I have with myself. Instead of saying, “No, I can’t,” I’m learning to say, “How could I?”
Instead of shutting down hopes and aspirations before they’ve had a chance to breathe, I’m allowing them space to grow.

This doesn’t mean reckless leaps or unrealistic expectations. It means approaching life with openness, creativity, and self-belief. It means trusting that even if the path isn’t clear yet, it will reveal itself step by step.

As the year stretches out ahead, I’m carrying this question with me:
What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?

Along with the rhythm of the waves and the warmth of the sun, it’s a question I plan to return to often.

Here’s to a year of asking how.

Don’t Count the Days – Make the Days Count. New Year's Eve, eve

Tue, 30 Dec 2025 07:50:00 GMT

As 2026 begins, I’m not interested in counting time anymore. I’m interested in choosing it.

For years, I measured life by milestones, deadlines, and checklists—waiting for the next achievement to validate the present moment. But this year, I’m stepping into a different mindset. One rooted in intention. One that asks not how much did I do? but how deeply did I live?

“Don’t count the days, make the days count” isn’t just a motivational phrase—it’s a practice. A decision to show up awake, engaged, and aligned with what matters most.

Starting 2026, I choose to live deliberately. That means being mindful about where my energy goes, who I allow access to my time, and what I say yes—or no—to.

Intentional living requires boundaries, and boundaries require bravery. They ask us to disappoint others rather than abandon ourselves. They ask us to trust that protecting our peace isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. When we set clear boundaries, we create space for what truly nourishes us.

Growth isn’t always about adding more. Often, it’s about releasing what no longer fits.

Letting go can look like shedding outdated beliefs, unrealistic expectations, or relationships that drain rather than support. It can mean releasing the need for constant control and allowing life to meet us halfway. Letting go isn’t failure—it’s wisdom. It’s trusting that what’s meant to stay will stay, and what leaves creates room for something better aligned.

There’s a quiet intelligence within us that already knows the way. Intuition doesn’t shout—it whispers. It shows up as a nudge, a pause, a feeling that something is off or deeply right.

In 2026, I’m committing to listening. To honoring my inner voice even when it doesn’t make logical sense. Especially when it doesn’t. Intuition is built through trust, and trust grows when we stop outsourcing our decisions to fear, comparison, or external validation.

We’ve been taught that success is about outcomes—titles earned, goals checked off, boxes completed. But accomplishment alone doesn’t equal fulfillment.

True success lies in expansion. In what we learn along the way. In how much more resilient, aware, compassionate, and capable we become through the process. Goals matter, but growth matters more. The journey shapes us in ways the destination never could.

What if the very things we label as obstacles are actually instructions?

Problems often appear as detours when, in reality, they are redirections. They build strength, clarity, and depth. What feels like resistance may be life refining us—preparing us for something bigger than we imagined.

The other side of exerted effort is profound reward. Not just in what we gain, but in who we become.

Aging, as Bette Davis famously said, “isn’t for sissies.” Neither is living with intention.

It takes courage to keep evolving. To question old narratives. To remain open-hearted in a world that can harden us. Bravery isn’t the absence of fear—it’s choosing growth anyway.

So as 2026 unfolds, I’m going to do my best to make the days count.

Finding Clarity by the Water: Perspective for the year ahead

Wed, 17 Dec 2025 07:44:00 GMT

I do love returning to a place that already knows us.

Our recent trip away to our much-loved lakeside spot felt like coming home in a deeper sense- for the family, and for me too. Lake Taupō has always held a quiet magic for us, but this time it offered something more: perspective.

After a full and busy year (one with more learning in it than I could have anticipated) I found myself drawn to long walks by the water and cold, bracing dips in the lake. Those moments became little rituals of sorts- space to breathe, and think, and feel.

The year behind me has been anything but light. We were in Taupo quietly celebrating my husband’s milestone birthday, a moment that naturally invites reflection, and it arrived alongside seasons of stretching, recalibrating, and navigating uncertainty. Growth, I’m learning, rarely feels graceful while you’re in it. Often it feels uncomfortable, messy, and demanding.

But somewhere between the stillness of the lake and the rhythm of my footsteps along the shore, clarity arrived.

One thought landed, and it has stayed with me:

As long as I don’t quit, I can’t lose.

Failure only happens the moment I stop reaching for my goals and dreams. The moment I give up. Everything else — the missteps, the slow progress, the fear — is just part of the journey.

Simple doesn’t mean easy. In fact, I’m realizing that sometimes the most direct route is also the most challenging. There are no shortcuts around discomfort. No gentle detours that lead to meaningful change.

If I want to move forward — truly forward — I have to accept that growth doesn’t happen inside my comfort zone. Change doesn’t exist there either. Comfort may feel safe, but it’s also static. And my dreams require movement.

What struck me most on this trip was how clearly I could see that action beats fear. Every time. Fear thrives in hesitation and overthinking. Action — even imperfect action — dissolves it. One step forward quiets a hundred doubts.

Being immersed in a place as ancient, spiritual, and grounding as Lake Taupō helped me see all of this from a fresher perspective. Away from the daily busyness, routines, and constant mental noise, I was able to zoom out. To remember what matters. To reconnect with where I’m headed rather than getting caught in how far I still feel from the destination.

And so now, as we return to everyday life, I’m carrying more than just memories with me.

It’s time for planning. Time to set intentions, define tasks, and choose focus areas for the next 12 months. Not in an overwhelming, all-or-nothing way- just steadily.

I don’t need everything figured out- I just need to keep going.

The lake reminded me that progress doesn’t have to be loud to be powerful. Sometimes it’s found in quiet resolve. In cold water that wakes you up. In walks where answers arrive unannounced.

And in the decision to keep showing up for the life I’m building, one step at a time.

Lessons From Those Who Walked Before Us: Reflections on My Grandfather’s Quiet Strength

Fri, 05 Dec 2025 22:00:00 GMT

This morning, during a long weekend walk—one of those crisp, grounding ones that wakes up both the body and the heart—my thoughts drifted to a very special man: my grandfather. He would have been 117 last month. He lived to 99, carrying nearly a century’s worth of memories, stories, scars, and triumphs—though many of them he never spoke of.

It’s remarkable how easy it is to lose perspective after a hard week, a stressful season, or a tricky chapter of life. Our generation is quick to feel overwhelmed by the pace, the noise, the expectations. But when I think of what previous generations endured, especially those in my own family, my challenges begin to shrink back into their proper size.

My grandfather’s childhood was far more traumatic than any of his children or grandchildren ever fully understood while he was alive. In 1914, when he was just five years old, his father left—disappeared—leaving my great-grandmother alone with three small boys and no means to support them. Out of pure desperation, she was forced to give them up so they wouldn’t starve.

The boys were placed in a London workhouse/orphanage, recorded officially as homeless. It was a brutal environment—harsh, cold, unforgiving. Eventually, they were fostered out to various families, many of whom treated them unkindly. My grandfather, the eldest, carried the responsibility of watching over his younger brothers, even as a child.

Somewhere along the way, the boys learned that their mother had remarried—and in doing so, had omitted the fact that she had children from her previous life. So when they turned up, hopeful and eager to be reunited, they were met not with joy, but with rejection. A new husband. New half-siblings. No place for them.

It’s hard to imagine a more devastating childhood. Yet the man I knew bore none of that darkness on the surface.

The grandfather I remember was the gentlest, kindest soul. He grew roses and tomatoes as if coaxing beauty out of the earth itself. He was a true Boy Scout at heart, an avid cricket fan, a loving husband, and an incredible father.

He served in the RAF during the war but never spoke of the trauma he saw in battle—not even in his final years, when Alzheimer’s had blurred much of his world. As his hearing faded, he participated in family life the best way he could: with soft smiles around the dinner table, a warm hand-squeeze, or a quiet prayer.

His presence was an act of love in itself. He’d fetch you an extra blanket, top up your glass, make a cup of tea, or crack open a window so the scent of the garden could drift in. These small gestures were his language—quiet, consistent proof of his care.

This week has been bumpy for me—high stress at work, an overflowing social calendar, and an endless to-do list. But thinking of my grandfather, all of these worries fell into relative insignificance.

He endured abandonment, hunger, war, loss, and hardship of a magnitude I can barely comprehend… and yet he grew into a man of such tenderness, patience, humility, and faith. I hope some of that is in me somewhere.

This time of year pushes us to spend, rush and overfill the calendar. But it’s actually a lovely season to scale back, take stock, and hold close the good things in your life- the difficult moments are part of it all too, and we can move through them with a bit of grace, just as he did.

I am so proud to be my grandfather’s granddaughter. Roses and tomatoes, a topped-up glass, a warm hand-squeeze- that’s the legacy I hope to carry forward.

It’s Not Just Clothes: How What We Wear Shapes Our Mind, Mood, and Meaning

Fri, 28 Nov 2025 18:17:00 GMT

Every morning, we engage in a quiet ritual, often rushed, sometimes overlooked, but powerful all the same: we get dressed. Before coffee, before email, before stepping into the world, we make a choice about what to put on our bodies. And that choice (far from shallow) affects our mindset, our confidence, our relationships, and the very tone of our day.

Clothing is more than fabric- it’s one of the most consistent ways we tell the world (and ourselves) who we are.

The Mindset You Wear

Research on “enclothed cognition” suggests that what we wear doesn’t just influence how others see us—it influences how we think, focus, and perform. When you slip on a tailored blazer, your brain interprets it as a cue to step into capability. When you pull on soft loungewear, you signal safety and rest.

Clothes aren’t passive. They prime us.

A crisp shirt might put you in a “let’s handle this” mindset. A flowing dress may tune you into ease and creativity. Your favourite gym leggings? Momentum, movement.

Before we speak, before we move, clothing sets the tone.

Setting the Tone for the Day

Getting dressed is the first choice you make about the day.

When you choose what you wear with mindfulness, you create a tiny contract with yourself:

I’m prepared.
I’m ready for what today brings.

The fibres touching your skin whisper messages. They can energize you, soothe you, or strengthen you. A robe that cocoons you on a slow morning can be just as meaningful as the “killer heels” that shift you into your boldest self before a date or a job interview.

Each outfit is a tone-setter. A beginning. A signal.

Clothing and Self-Worth

When you honour yourself with garments that make you feel good, you reinforce your own value. This has nothing to do with cost, trend, or brand. Wearing clothes that fit well, feel good, and express who you are tells your inner world:

I am worthy of care. I am worthy of being seen. I matter.

A cosy robe on a rest day can be an act of nourishment.
A sumptuous velour loungewear set can remind you that comfort and luxury are allowed in everyday life.
A beautifully chosen outfit can become a declaration of self-belief.

The clothes we reach for can soothe us, empower us, or reconnect us to who we are becoming.

Respecting Others Through Presentation

Showing up well-presented is not vanity—it’s respect.

When you take the time to dress thoughtfully for a meeting, a dinner, or a gathering, you show others:

I honour your presence.
I value your time.
I respect the moment we are sharing.

Clothing becomes a language of regard. A sign of boundaries and expectations. When you show up intentionally, you teach others how you wish to be approached—and how you treat them in return.

Your outfit becomes part of the silent conversation before any words are spoken.

Clothing as Identity

Humans are storytellers, even through textiles. Our clothes offer clues to our values, our culture, our transitions in life, and our aspirations. They help us claim our place in the world.

Sometimes an outfit expresses who we’ve always been.
Sometimes it reflects who we’re learning to become.

But every day, it’s a choice that adds another brushstroke to the portrait of our identity.

A Daily Ritual That Matters

We get dressed every single day—yet rarely stop to consider the emotional, energetic, and psychological layers of this ritual. When approached consciously, dressing becomes a form of self-expression, a tool for empowered living, and a subtle act of care for ourselves and others.

It’s more than fashion, or clothes- it’s a small act of care we repeat every day.

So tomorrow morning, when you reach for that outfit, pause for a breath. Ask:
Who do I want to be today? What do I want to feel? How do I want to show up?

Then dress accordingly- your day will feel the difference!

Coming Home to Myself: Presence, Purpose, and the Power of Building in Private

Sat, 22 Nov 2025 18:03:00 GMT

I have just returned from a few truly fabulous days in sunny Australia with one of my daughters, and stepping away from the familiar has given me more than rest- it has given me a little revelation. The trip was everything I needed: warmth on my skin, space in my mind, and distance from the day-to-day noise I didn’t realize I’d been drowning in.

But the real transformation didn’t happen on the beaches or under the bright Queensland skies. It happened when I came home.

Something in me exhaled.
Not the shallow breath you take while rushing from one responsibility to the next, but a deep, grounding release. A sense of relief I didn’t know I had been waiting for. I felt myself settling—comfortably, confidently—back into my own skin.

For the first time in a long while, I was present.

Not racing, not chasing, not planning three versions of the future at once. Just here. Just me. And that’s when the words of the Dalai Lama drifted back into my mind:

“Want what you have, not have what you want.”

That simple shift—from longing to appreciation—felt like turning a key in a locked door. Suddenly the ordinary parts of my life revealed themselves as extraordinary. And the things I thought I needed? Many of them lost their urgency. Gratitude has a way of shrinking unnecessary desire and expanding everything that truly matters.

Interestingly, it was this newly grounded presence that reignited my imagination.

I started thinking—dreaming—about future passion projects: ideas that had been sitting quietly in the corners of my mind, waiting for the right moment to stretch and breathe. I felt a gentle spark of inspiration flickering back to life. Not the frantic kind of ambition that demands immediate action, but the calm, confident kind that knows it will unfold in its own time.

And that’s when another truth landed for me:

Not everything is meant to be shared before it’s ready.

In a world addicted to announcement culture, where every idea becomes an Instagram story and every half-formed thought turns into content, there’s something profoundly powerful about building in silence. I’ve learned that when you expose something before it’s fully formed, you dilute it. You give away its energy. You invite opinions, expectations, and noise into a space that is still too fragile to withstand them.

It’s said that when you share something prematurely, you lose 50% of its power.
I’ve come to believe this is true.

Our ideas need incubation, and privacy, and room to grow roots before they bloom.

There is a season for planting and a season for harvesting—but we often forget that there’s also a season for tending, nurturing, and quietly building. The private season is where the real magic happens: the sketching, the rethinking, the early morning clarity, the gentle course-correcting. It’s where passion finds direction and ideas find shape.

When we protect our creativity instead of broadcasting it, and want what we have rather than chasing what we don’t, we give it strength and make space for inspiration.

Returning from Australia gave me more than sandy memories and sun kissed skin—it gave me perspective. It reminded me that the most important journey isn’t across oceans, but inward. Toward self-understanding. Toward presence. Toward appreciation.

I came home, yes.
But more importantly, I came home to myself.

And now, from this place of grounded clarity, I can dream again—quietly, intentionally, powerfully. The future feels exciting not because I’m desperate to get there, but because I finally feel rooted enough to build it.

In private first, in public later.

Wanting Holds Us Hostage in the Future; learning to appreciate and savor the present moment

Sat, 08 Nov 2025 19:14:00 GMT

“Wanting holds us hostage in the future, never satisfied with the present moment.”

How often do we catch ourselves saying, “I’ll be happy when…”? When we get the promotion. When we lose the weight. When we meet the right person. When life looks a little more like the picture we’ve painted in our heads.

But the truth is, this kind of wanting quietly steals our peace. It keeps our minds tethered to a version of the future that doesn’t yet exist- one that might never look exactly how we imagine. We start living in a constant state of almost, unable to savor what’s already here.

When we slow down long enough to truly be in a moment — noticing how our morning coffee smells, how laughter fills a room, or how sunlight dances through the trees — something shifts. Gratitude starts to grow in that space.

Savoring isn’t about pretending everything is perfect. It’s about acknowledging that life is unfolding now, in small and beautiful ways, even when things aren’t exactly as we planned. The present moment is the only one that’s guaranteed — and when we learn to inhabit it fully, it becomes enough.

Gratitude grounds us in what’s real. It reminds us that while we may not have everything we want, we likely already have more than enough to be content, connected, and alive.

Practicing gratitude doesn’t mean giving up on growth or ambition — it means appreciating the ground you’re standing on while you walk toward what’s next.

There’s a quiet wisdom in setting intentions rather than rigid goals. Intentions give us direction; they invite clarity and purpose without the heavy burden of a deadline or specific outcome.

When we attach our worth to whether something happens in the exact way or timeframe we expected, we set ourselves up for unnecessary disappointment. Life rarely unfolds in straight lines — but that doesn’t mean we’ve failed.

Intentions, on the other hand, allow space for life to surprise us. They guide us without trapping us. They let us move forward with openness rather than pressure, curiosity rather than control.

When we release the grip of constant wanting, we return to what’s real: this breath, this heartbeat, this moment. And in that return, we find the peace we’ve been chasing all along.

So yes, dream, set intentions, and move towards what lights you up- but don’t let the wanting keep you hostage in the future.

Moonlight and Memory; Returning to my Grandmother's house

Tue, 04 Nov 2025 08:24:00 GMT

As I lay awake in the early hours, listening to the steady hum of a purr beside me and watching the moon drift slowly across the sky, I found myself transported . One moment I was wrapped in the soft weight of my duvet; the next, I was nine or ten years old again, standing at the little iron gate of my grandmother’s home in Northamptonshire.

It was such a vivid transportation that I could almost smell the faint sweetness of her front garden — the mingling scents of lavender and freshly watered geraniums. The gravel crunched under my shoes as I made my way up the short shale path, leading from the gate to the front door. The house stood proudly at the end of a 1920s terrace, a modest corner property with stories soaked into its pebble dashed bricks.

To the right lived an elderly lady with a cloud of white curls and a Stannah Stair Lift that I’d found endlessly fascinating as a child. To the left, beyond a narrow passageway, was the little corner shop — its bell forever tinkling with the comings and goings of customers, its windows cluttered with handwritten signs and sweet jars that glimmered like jewels in the sunlight.

The front door was new then — a white, double-glazed plastic affair that my grandmother was immensely proud of. “All the rage,” she’d told me, beaming as she turned the key with a satisfying click. I step through now in my memory, and there it all is, exactly as it was.

To my left, the telephone table — a marvel of multi-function design: a little seat, a shelf for the phone, a place for the notepad and pencil, and a nook for the hefty phone directories that seemed to contain the whole world. A side lamp glowed there in the evenings, casting a warm, golden pool of light as my grandmother chatted with her acquaintances or jotted down messages in her neat, looping handwriting.

Beyond that, the stairs rose steeply — narrow carpeted treads that creaked beneath my socked feet. To the right, the dining room, a space that had once hosted Sunday roasts and family birthdays, later became my grandfather’s bedroom when his legs could no longer carry him up those stairs. It was a dignified, peaceful room, its bay window dressed with lace curtains that softened the view of the small front courtyard and street beyond.

I can still see the sideboard, a treasure chest of paints, brushes, and handmade cards — my grandmother’s artistic domain. She was a gifted watercolorist, and her cards were miniature masterpieces: delicate flowers intertwined with the name of the recipient, always painted with love. The built-in cupboards on either side of the fireplace were magical to me — their shelves lined with tea services, souvenir trinkets, and novelty ashtrays shaped like seashells or tiny animals or grown up jokes.

At Christmas, the tree stood proudly in that front room, its multicolored plastic lights twinkling like little jewels for all the street to see. I remember pressing my nose to the cold windowpane, mesmerized by their glow.

Straight ahead from the hallway lay the kitchen — a narrow galley, its blue Formica table and two chairs squeezed neatly into one end. The appliances were modest, the counters small, yet my grandmother managed miracles in that little space. There was always the scent of something comforting — bread pudding, apple crumble, or her famous rock cakes cooling on the rack. The back door, with its frosted, bubbly glass, opened onto the wash house, later turned into a potting shed. I think the twin-tub washing machine lived there once, though perhaps that’s just a trick of memory — I can’t quite be sure.

The sitting room was the heart of the home, tucked between the kitchen and the dining room. A gas fireplace, a three-piece suite, and French doors opening onto the small patio. It was always warm - and not just from the gas fire. In later years, when my grandfather was confined to his wheelchair, my grandmother had a small fish pond built just outside the window so he could watch the golden flashes of life from his chair.

In that room, the cupboards held memories: board games, photo albums, yellowed snapshots of childhoods and pets long gone. On the shelves above — encyclopedias, atlases, and well-thumbed novels. I can still picture the narrow display shelf shaped like a little house, where my grandmother’s thimble collection stood in neat rows — souvenirs from across the UK, Spain, Malta, Ibiza. She spoke good Spanish, having traveled there with my grandfather years before, and sometimes she’d paint those places — their warmth, their colors — as though she could bottle the sunlight itself.

There was another collection too: silver teaspoons, each from a different town or holiday, their tiny emblems gleaming under the dust motes that danced in the light.

At the top of the stairs, the pink bathroom glowed like a sweet shop — from the carpeted floor to the fluffy U-shaped mat that hugged the base of the toilet. Even the toilet seat had its own cover, soft and pastel, and the famous “toilet roll dolly” stood guard — her frilly skirt disguising a secret stash of spare rolls. The air always smelled faintly of talcum powder and soap, and a wall-mounted heater buzzed softly on cold winter mornings.

My grandmother’s guest bedroom overlooked the garden — twin beds dressed with candlewick spreads. It was a simple, tidy room, yet it carried a deep sense of comfort. I’d often lie awake there during the weeks when my mother was working, homesick but safe, tracing the pattern of the wallpaper by moonlight and listening to the faint tick of the clock downstairs.

And then there was her room. Always neat, always fragrant with powder and lavender. Her nylon dresses hung in the small wardrobe, their fabrics whispering when you brushed past. On her dresser stood a silver-backed mirror, hairbrush, and comb — all gleaming from years of careful use — and beside them, a pot of peachy face powder topped with a puff tied by a pale aqua ribbon. I can still smell it, soft and floral, like comfort itself.

As the moon outside my present window slipped behind a cloud, the image of that house began to fade — the colors softening, the details slipping away like dreams do when morning comes. The purr beside me deepened; the cat stretched, and the warmth of the present slowly replaced the warmth of memory.

Still, as I closed my eyes, I could almost hear the faint clatter of teacups, the gentle murmur of the gas fire, and my grandmother’s soft humming from the kitchen.

My mind transported me again this time to my paternal grandmother’s home. But that’s for another day.

An evening walk in the neighbourhood

Sat, 01 Nov 2025 08:09:00 GMT

My daily constitutional over the weekend took me down familiar streets that had been transformed for Halloween. The evening sun slanted through the trees, gilding everything in gold, while the air carried that faint edge of spring warmth- the kind that makes you forget the calendar for a moment.

Cobwebs straggled across hedgerows, the kind spun not by spiders but by enthusiastic small hands. Foam tombstones leaned slightly on front lawns, and paper pumpkins swung gently from mailboxes. Jack-o’-lanterns grinned from porches, their carved faces already softening a little in the sun. A frisson of excitement shimmered in the air, mixed with the giggles and shrieks of youngsters testing out their costumes ahead of the night.

Families gathered on street corners, older siblings urging the little ones to go ahead — go on, knock on the door, it’s okay! Familiar children ran up to me, proudly holding out handfuls of brightly wrapped loot, eyes wide with sugar and triumph. The smallest of them seemed less concerned with the haul and more entranced by the experience- the thrill of being out past their usual bedtime, dressed in fairy wings or floppy bunny ears, fluttering along beside the bigger, braver ghouls and superheroes.

I stopped to chat with a few neighbours, all of us basking in the mellow warmth of the late afternoon sun. Laughter carried easily between houses, and for a moment, I was tugged backwards in time- to years of sticky hands tucked into mine, pumpkin-shaped buckets bobbing expectantly at our sides. Gosh, they grow so fast.

The next evening, I took the same route, but the scene had changed again. Where there had been cobwebs and candy, there was now a twilight market — another kind of magic altogether. The air was alive with music and chatter, the smell of sausages and tacos drifting lazily down the street.

Friends and neighbours strolled between stalls of crafts and garden plants, faces painted, gelatos melting faster than they could be eaten. Children raced in wide circles around their parents, ketchup stains and all. Couples sat cross-legged on the grass, swaying to the beat of a local band, while dogs trotted contentedly at their owners’ sides, tails wagging to the rhythm of the evening.

I wandered slowly through it all, taking it in- the laughter, the smells, the easy mingling of lives that brushed up against one another every day. Two very different nights, yet both full of that lovely feeling of belonging somewhere.

It felt, for a moment, like stepping into an all-American dream — Hope River, Gilmore Girls, Desperate Housewives perhaps — though without the glamour, and with a distinctive Kiwi twist.

As the sun dipped and the fairy lights began to glow, I felt so very grateful to be part of this place.

Reflections on a Simpler Time; Button Moon anyone?

Sun, 26 Oct 2025 19:44:00 GMT

It’s funny how memories sneak up on you. Earlier this week, on a particularly hectic morning, I caught myself humming the theme tune to a long-forgotten children’s show from the early 1980s — Button Moon.

Do you remember it? A wonderfully simple animation from the UK about a family of spoons who lived on Junk Planet and travelled the galaxy in a baked bean tin rocket ship. Even now, I can almost hear the slow, soothing narration and that gentle melody. Somehow, that tiny spark of memory sent me tumbling down a rabbit warren of nostalgia — back to a simpler, slower time.

There were only three television channels then, and they signed off at 11 p.m. sharp. Cars had radios, not touchscreens. At home, we had one phone (attached to the wall by a spiral cord) and if someone else was using it, you waited your turn. There were no mobile phones, no DVDs or CDs, no microwaves or tumble dryers. My mother’s pride and joy was her “twin tub” washing machine, where you had to lift the laundry from one side to another for the spin cycle.

And yet, somehow, life didn’t feel lacking.

We played outside until dusk with the neighbours, rode bikes, drew pictures, and spent hours creating worlds for our dolls. Our imaginations filled in the gaps that technology now occupies. Shops closed at noon on Saturdays and didn’t reopen until Monday. Sundays meant roast lunch and time with family. The rhythm of life followed the seasons — in our clothes, our food, even our routines.

There’s so much convenience in life today (and I’m certainly not giving up my washing machine or my robot vacuum!) but I do sometimes wonder what we’ve lost in the process. My teenage daughters, for example, rarely has both ears free of her white earbuds. Anything they want to know is at their fingertips, but the joy of asking a friend, a neighbour, or an elderly relative feels like a fading art.

And yet, not all is lost. On my evening walks, there’s a stretch of quiet road where local kids still race their bikes and invent games, just as we once did. It always warms my heart to see them out there, making their own adventures under the fading light.

This past long weekend, I barely ventured beyond the driveway. I pottered in the garden, sat in the sun on the deck, had lunch outdoors, and simply was. I’m such a homebody at heart. Perhaps that’s what I’m craving- that gentle simplicity, less drawn into the noise of the world.

It’s almost impossible to escape it all (the constant hum of the news, the ping of notifications) but maybe we can carve out a little corner of calm. This week, I’m setting myself a little challenge to have fewer screens in my day. I’ll read my paperback instead of scrolling, walk to work, bake something just because, go to my ballet class, take long baths, and climb into bed as early as the day allows.

Maybe that’s the modern version of a trip to Button Moon- a brief escape from the busyness.

Each Season Has Its Own Best Kind of Leisurely Pursuit

Thu, 23 Oct 2025 06:18:00 GMT

There’s something wonderfully reassuring about the rhythm of the seasons - the way one slips gently into the next, each bringing its own colours and small joys, and its own best kind of leisurely pursuit. Each asks us to slow down and savour what only that time of year can offer.

The title of this post I heard while listening to a podcast or audiobook earlier this week- It may have been “stories from the village of nothing much”- forgive me, I can’t quite remember which, but it resonated with me. It inspired this weeks entry.

Autumn: The Season of Comfort and Turning Inward

Autumn arrives like a gentle sigh after the brightness of summer. The air turns crisp, the world burns gold and amber, and suddenly there’s a delicious pull toward home and hearth.

There’s something deeply satisfying about raking leaves — the soft rustle, the earthy scent rising up as the piles grow. It’s a quiet kind of work that soothes the mind, followed by the simple pleasure of a bowl of stew simmering on the stove, windows fogging gently as warmth fills the kitchen.

Sunday afternoons seem made for slow reading — a thick blanket, a good book, and a cup of tea that’s refilled one more time than planned. Autumn reminds us to exhale, to take pleasure in the small rituals that root us.

Winter: The Season of Warmth Within

Winter calls us to retreat — not to withdraw, but to cocoon. Outside, the world feels bracing and raw, the wind sharp on the skin and rain tapping insistently at the windows. There’s beauty in that contrast — in walking through the chill, cheeks flushed and boots muddy, knowing that a fire awaits at home.

Crackling logs, the smell of woodsmoke, a mug warming your hands, the cozy weight of a favorite sweater — winter teaches us the art of contentment. Even the storms are wonderful watched safely from bed, as the wind howls and rain lashes the glass! Winter lets us pause, rest, and gather strength for what’s to come.

Spring: The Season of Renewal and Airing Out

Then one day, the light changes. The air softens. Buds swell on branches, and the earth smells alive again. Spring carries a sense of possibility, a clean slate.

It’s the season for flinging open windows, for airing the house and shaking out the cobwebs — literally and figuratively. Gardens call for attention, hands itching to turn the soil, to coax new life into being. There’s a quiet joy in hanging laundry in the soft breeze, in feeling that first true warmth of sun on the skin.

Spring is the nudge to fling open the windows and begin again.

Summer: The Season of Simple Joy and Long Days

And then comes summer — full-hearted, golden, unhurried. Days lengthen into evenings that never seem to end, and time itself feels looser.

There’s a particular kind of happiness found at the beach — sand between your toes, skin kissed salty and warm, waves hushing endlessly against the shore. The sun lingers late, and with it comes that blissful illusion that this could last forever.

Summer’s leisure is freedom — in swims at dusk, picnics that spill into laughter, the laziness of afternoons spent doing absolutely nothing but being.

The Beauty of the Turning Year

Each season has its special, irreplaceable gifts — the ones we miss when they’re gone, and long for their return. The crackle of a winter fire, the greening of spring, the golden ease of summer, the russet calm of fall — each holds its own kind of joy.

Loving them all equally is a kind of gratitude — a recognition that life, like the year, moves in cycles of renewal and rest, of warmth and chill, of fullness and quiet.

So let’s make the most of whatever the season brings- for me, right now, that’s spring laundry on the line and the first proper stretch of sun.

Learning to Pause, Belong, and Be Enough: Lessons from Brené Brown

Wed, 15 Oct 2025 07:53:00 GMT

I find Brené Brown’s work feels like coming home to yourself. Her research into vulnerability, shame, courage, and belonging has become a lifeline for millions of people searching for something honest in a world that often trades in performance and perfection. Among the many powerful ideas she offers, a few have lodged in my mind (and heart). They’re lessons worth revisiting often, especially when life feels loud, fast, and a little too much.

“Look for 8 while they pull the gate.”

This phrase is classic Brené. It’s shorthand for a crucial concept: pause before you respond. Especially when we’re being challenged, questioned, or pushed into discomfort, our impulse is often to react—defend, deflect, explain, or retreat. But Brené encourages us to wait. To breathe. To give it the full eight seconds (or more) before speaking.

In that pause we get a little space between stimulus and response- we stop ourselves from giving away our power, from answering out of shame or fear or people-pleasing. We remember who we are, and what we value.

Your worth isn’t up for debate.

One of the most liberating truths Brené shares is this: If someone doesn’t value your work, that doesn’t make your work less valuable. Let that settle for a moment.

In a culture that loves feedback loops, approval ratings, and constant external validation, it’s radical to believe in your own value regardless of how others receive you. Whether it’s your art, your parenting, your leadership, or your quiet presence—your worth isn’t determined by the loudest critic in the room. Your worth is not a negotiation.

The same goes for your humanity, your story, your truth. As Brené so powerfully reminds us, there is no person, church, religion, or dogma that has the right to question your divinity. Your relationship with the sacred—however you define that—is deeply personal. It’s not between you and anyone else. Your inherent worth isn’t dependent on others validating your experience of the divine. That’s yours.

Belonging is rare—and sacred.

We all want to belong. But true belonging, as Brené defines it, doesn’t require us to fit in. In fact, it demands the opposite. It asks us to be fully ourselves and to find people who can meet us in that authenticity.

That kind of connection is rare. If you have even one or two people in your life who truly see you, who understand your story, and who love you without condition—that is a gift beyond measure. It’s reciprocal, rooted in respect and vulnerability. And it may not come from where we expect it. Sometimes it’s not family. Sometimes it’s not community or coworkers. But when we find it, even in just one soul, it matters more than we can say.

Love and belonging are irreducible needs.

This isn’t a nice-to-have. It’s not bonus content in the human experience. Brené’s research shows that love and belonging are core needs—non-negotiables for a healthy, whole life. When we’re deprived of them, we suffer. We disconnect. We armor up. But when we are met with love and acceptance, we begin to heal. We soften. We grow.

That’s why cultivating relationships that offer safety and honesty is more than self-care—it’s survival.

The opposite of scarcity isn’t abundance. It’s enough.

We are drenched in scarcity messages every day. Not enough time, not enough likes, not enough money, not thin enough, not smart enough, not doing enough. And so we hustle. We compare. We shame ourselves into striving.

But the antidote to scarcity isn’t more. It’s enough.

Enough is a declaration. It’s choosing to believe, “I am enough. What I have is enough. Who I am right now is enough.” That doesn’t mean we stop growing. But it does mean we stop living like we’re one achievement away from being worthy.

Closing Thoughts

Brené Brown doesn’t offer simple answers, because real life isn’t simple. But she does offer clarity and compassion, and a reminder that courage means showing up even when we are afraid. It’s about pausing when we’re triggered, owning our stories, and choosing love over armor.

So today, take a breath before you answer that difficult question. Trust in the value of your work, even if no one claps. Hold close the one or two people who truly know you. And remind yourself, again and again, that you are already enough.

This is a puriri moth- spending up to 5 years as a caterpillar to then live as this jade beauty for a mere 24-48 hours.

A Week Unplugged: Reclaiming Movement, Mindfulness, and Me

Thu, 09 Oct 2025 06:04:00 GMT

After a busy stretch of travel — including an incredible time in Singapore — I had already planned to give myself a bit of a tech-light week. Life made the decision easier when I arrived home feeling under the weather. Rest was calling, and with it came an unexpected opportunity: a chance to unplug from something I hadn’t questioned in years — my fitness trackers.

For well over a decade, I’ve relied on various devices to monitor, measure, and motivate my movement and health: a Fitbit, a Garmin, MyFitnessPal, and most recently — for the past two years — an Oura Ring. These tools have been incredibly useful. I’ve learned so much from them. They’ve given me insights into my sleep, steps, heart rate, stress levels, eating patterns, and so much more. In many ways, they’ve been wonderful teachers.

But over time, I noticed something creeping in — a subtle but persistent feeling that I couldn’t have a day without logging a meal or checking my readiness score. A walk didn’t quite feel complete unless I saw the steps. A run wasn’t “real” unless it was tracked.

So this week, I made a conscious choice to pause.

Movement Without Metrics

Instead of “starting an activity” or checking GPS stats, I simply… went for a walk. No duration, no heart rate zones, no step counts. Just walking — for the joy of it, and the gentle rhythm of moving my body.

With being sick, I didn’t push myself into runs or strength training. But I kept to daily walks, a little stretching, and more importantly, I let my body lead. Slower paces, shorter distances, and no pressure.

Food Without Logging

One of the biggest shifts? Not tracking meals. That muscle memory is strong — I caught myself reaching for my phone multiple times, about to log a snack or enter ingredients. But I resisted.

And surprisingly, I was fine- better than fine! I found myself making solid, healthy choices without the food diary. I was actually savoring meals more. With time at home, I rediscovered the luxury of cooking — chopping vegetables unhurriedly, trying new recipes, and plating food with care, not haste. It was nourishing in more ways than one.

Rest as a Ritual

Another unexpected joy? Resting fully. Not just because my Oura told me to, or because my sleep score dipped, but because I could feel I needed it. I climbed into bed earlier, gave myself permission to slow down, and filled my evenings with warm baths, books, and stillness.

No makeup, no rushing, no pressure to optimize or perform. Just space — and skin that’s honestly never looked clearer.

What I’ve Learned

Let me be clear: I’m not anti-tracking. I’m not giving it all up for good (though my Oura subscription is up in December, and I’m still deciding if I’ll renew).

But I do know this:

I have a solid understanding of my body, my nutrition, and my rhythms.
I don’t need a ring or an app to tell me everything — I already know a lot.
Sometimes, just moving, just eating, or just resting — without tracking — is enough.
The goal of these tools is to support, not control.

This week has been a gentle reset. I’ve started my days more slowly. I’ve tuned into my body with more intention. I’ve felt more present — not chasing data, but noticing my lived experience.

Looking Ahead

I’m hopeful that next week, my energy will return and I’ll feel fully myself again. But I don’t want to rush back into the buzz. I want to bring some of this calm, this clarity, into the days ahead.

Whether I renew the subscription or not, I know the numbers aren’t the whole story. There’s a lot to be said for walking without a purpose, cooking without a plan, and resting without guilt- and that’s what I’ll be carrying into next week.

A Dose of Stillness

Wed, 08 Oct 2025 23:13:00 GMT

#3 in the Love for Imperfect Things Series

Savoring simple daily pleasures

“When we are alone in a peaceful place, we experience the stillness of our mind. It is nourishing and restorative like medicine, helping us recover our centre and feel the divinity within us. A dose of stillness once in a while does a lot of good.”
— Haemin Sunim, Love for Imperfect Things

After the vibrancy, intensity, and sheer sensory overload of our recent trip to Singapore (the heat, the humidity, the constant movement!), I’ve unexpectedly found myself experiencing the kind of stillness Haemin Sunim so gently encourages in his book. Though not quite how I’d have planned it, being knocked over by a stubborn little virus on our return has slowed life right down. And surprisingly, I’m grateful.

Being home again is SO restorative- no plans, no pressures, no expectations. For the first time in a long while, I’ve allowed myself to fully sink into the quiet. No makeup, no schedule, no need to be “on.” Just soft loungewear, a warm mug of tea, cozy mysteries, and the soothing rhythm of birdsong drifting through open windows.

This unexpected pause has felt like a gift. A dose of stillness.

I’ve been thinking back to another time life slowed down: the COVID lockdowns. A chapter of collective upheaval, yes—but also, personally, a chapter of deep grounding. We spent months at home, and while the world outside felt uncertain and often frightening, inside our four walls, I found a sense of safety and contentment I hadn’t known before. As a homebody, I soaked up the long, unstructured days with my family. I remember the simplicity of those moments: cooking slowly, reading often, moving through the day without urgency.

The full moon from my bedroom - flooding its silvery light upon us during the night.\

This past week—though triggered by a pesky throat infection—has returned a bit of that forgotten rhythm to me. The slower mornings. The luxury of reading in the daylight hours. The kind of rest that comes not just from sleeping, but from not needing to be anywhere or do anything. In this quiet, I’ve noticed something magical: my mind feels clearer. Unrushed, it has space to catch up with itself—to sort, dream, create, and clarify.

Haemin Sunim reminds us that peace isn’t something we need to travel far to find- it’s here, within us, always waiting for a moment of quiet to rise to the surface.

Stillness, in this context, isn’t the absence of life or energy- it’s noticing the freshness of the cooler air, the way light softens through your windows, and the nourishment of fruit prepared slowly, savoured fully.

We often push stillness away, filling every gap with tasks, goals, screens, and stimulation. But perhaps, as Sunim gently teaches, stillness is a medicine we’d do well to take regularly, before life forces our hand.

So today, as I sit in the quiet with nothing more urgent to do than rest and recover, I’m leaning into this space with full permission. I’m letting myself be still, and in doing so, I’m finding a depth of peace I didn’t realise I needed. A peace that doesn’t demand perfection or productivity—just presence.

And maybe that’s the lesson here- sometimes the universe slows us down so we can hear ourselves again.

A dose of stillness, once in a while, really does do a lot of good.

Uninvited Guests and Unexpected Gifts

Tue, 07 Oct 2025 02:59:00 GMT

Series: Love for Imperfect Things – Entry #2

“Emotions are like uninvited guests. They come whenever they want to, and leave once you acknowledge their presence. Although emotions are born inside you, don’t assume they belong to you. That is why they rarely listen to you.”

— Haemin Sunim

Today, I’m writing from my sofa rather than my desk, wrapped in a blanket with the quiet hum of a kettle in the background and the aftertaste of ginger tea still lingering. A common virus has made its way into my body, gently forcing me to stop and rest.

Normally, I’m an active relaxer—the kind of person who thinks rest means ticking off domestic tasks or reorganizing cupboards between cups of tea. Even when I’m unwell, I tend to push through, convincing myself that productivity is a form of self-care. But not today. Today, I have done nothing but rest, sleep, hydrate, nourish, and listen—to both my body and the weather outside.

After a morning of torrential rain, the sun has now emerged cautiously from behind the clouds. The wind, still strong, is drying the laundry I managed to hang out earlier—a quiet triumph. I’m about to take a short walk by the beach, a slow wander for some fresh air before returning home to curl up again with a book. There’s no pressure to do more, and no guilt creeping in.

And it’s in this space that I’ve been reflecting on Sunim’s words. Emotions are like uninvited guests. They show up unexpectedly—fatigue, irritation, worry, restlessness—especially when we’re forced to stop. In the past, I’ve tried to ignore them, override them, or fix them with productivity. But like any guest, they don’t leave until they’ve been acknowledged.

Today, instead of shooing them away, I’ve opened the door and let them in. I’ve offered them tea, asked what they need, and in doing so, they’ve softened. Some have already left. Others are still here, lingering in quiet corners. And that’s okay. The point isn’t to control them, just to let them be. To understand that although they arise within me, they don’t define me. They don’t need to be wrestled into silence or judged for showing up.

As I sit with this insight, I can’t help but notice a gentle joy beginning to rise. Not because I’m well again (not yet!), but because for once I’m giving my body what it’s asking for: rest.

It is oddly liberating, letting go of the need to do. In illness, we’re given a chance to listen more deeply—to slow down not out of luxury, but necessity.

So if emotions are uninvited guests, perhaps rest is the home they’ve been looking for.

And for now, that is enough.

From Glittering Skylines to Quiet Cups of Tea: Finding the Special in the Everyday

Sat, 04 Oct 2025 22:21:00 GMT

We landed in Singapore under a sky that shimmered as brightly as the city itself. From the moment we arrived, it was a whirlwind of opulence—rooftop infinity pools, mirrored skyscrapers, immersive art, tasting menus that looked like sculpture, and boutiques so beautiful they felt like galleries. Every hour was curated, every view Instagram-worthy. It was exhilarating and indulgent and unforgettable!

But something unexpected happened on the flight home.

In a rare peaceful moment, cruising above the clouds, I opened Love for Imperfect Things by Haemin Sunim.

I read it cover to cover in one sitting. It felt like it had been waiting for me. One quote, in particular, landed just when I was truly ready to hear it, or be reminded: Something I have frequently referenced or written about personally, but after the saturation of glamour and abundance and stores with no price tags it was apt and perfectly timed to read;

“The nice cutlery set, tea, wine, clothes, pen, quilt, that you have been saving for a special occasion—use them whenever you get the chance. Special moments are not separate from our everyday lives. When you make use of something special, it makes the moment special.”

It echoed inside me.

After days of high-end everything, I suddenly longed for the quiet beauty of home: the favorite mug I always reach for, the scent of clean sheets drying in the breeze, the dog-eared pages of a favorite book. It was a reminder that luxury doesn’t always need to come from the outside- sometimes it is simply a home that you’ve created as your sanctuary.

There’s no denying the thrill of a five-star hotel or the magic of city lights reflecting on the Marina Bay Sands. But now that we’re back, I’ve found myself lighting the good candle just because, pouring tea into the “special occasion” china, and pulling the good quilt over my knees as I read - feeling the cool after the drama,tically different temperatures. No more waiting, or saving things for best!

Singapore gave us the gift of beauty, but coming home reminded me to recognize it in the everyday.

I freely admit I love the atmosphere and cool air conditioning of a high-end mall- and in Singapore their air is even fragranced with expensive scents- the little buzz of wondering what you might spy (or whom!) and the holiday feeling of freedom that you might splurge perhaps…. The window displays of Haute Couture and the dazzle of jewels and watches worth as much as our home- but I had fully reached saturation by the end of our trip, and longed for birdsong, cooler temperatures and the treetop view from our tranquil bedroom. I was shopped out- a very rare occurrence for me!

The trip reminded me how it feels to be dazzled. The book reminded me that I can feel that way, here, at home, in the everyday. My daily walks, the silky soft rumbling pile of fur at the end of our bed, the iris blooming in the garden, spring bursting forth, even picking up fresh produce locally and bumping into many familiar faces and members of the community, stopping to catch up, exchange a greeting or enquire as to their health.

Real, simple, unfiltered everydays.

And I think, perhaps, that was the point all along….

Happiness; the gap between expectations and reality

Tue, 23 Sep 2025 23:22:00 GMT

I am taking advantage of a rare (And beautiful!) occasion these days of having the house entirely to myself- even just for an hour or so. The rain falls heavily outside, streaking the windows, the only sound indoors is of the trickling gutters, the whir of the drier in the laundry, and the patter of my fingers typing this post. A moment to savor indeed. I recently listened to a favourite Podcast; Mell Robbins interviewing the author Morgan Housel. While the crux of the discussion was around financial awareness, tools and strategies, he kept circling back to contentment. The very ethos of what this space, and Everyday Contentment, is. So, in the midst of packing up for a holiday, dropping my furbabies to their accommodation while we are away, and my to-do list, I am taking a peaceful moment , with my coffee, to reflect on this.

In an age of constant striving, relentless comparison, and the ever-present pressure to do more, earn more, and be more, the idea of “enough” can sound almost subversive. Yet as Morgan Housel puts it, “Enough is a powerful concept.” In just a few words, he captures a truth that’s both simple and deeply countercultural: not everything that can be accumulated is worth pursuing, and not every milestone leads to meaning.

We live in a culture that glorifies more- more money, more followers, more productivity, more stuff, more goals. We are sold the idea that the next thing- the next raise, the next purchase, the next achievement- will finally deliver lasting happiness. But the finish line keeps moving.

Once you hit that goal, there’s always another one. Once you get that raise, your lifestyle often expands to match it. That’s lifestyle creep — and it’s not just financial. It’s emotional, social, and psychological. If you’re always chasing more, then you’re never arriving. And if you never arrive, what was the point of the journey?

This is where the concept of enough becomes revolutionary.

Enough is not a number, or a salary figure, or a follower count, or a square footage- it’s a mindset. It’s knowing that you have what you need, and that chasing more would cost you more than it gives back.

In financial terms, having “enough” means reaching a point where additional wealth no longer improves your quality of life in meaningful ways — and may even detract from it by adding stress, complexity, or risk. In personal terms, “enough” is being able to say: I have enough time for what matters. I have enough connection. I am enough.

To embrace enough is to shift from a scarcity mindset to one of sufficiency — and that shift is where contentment begins.

Contentment vs. Happiness

Housel also wrote: “The feeling we should be chasing is not happiness as such, but contentment.” It’s a profound distinction. Happiness, as most people understand it, is a fleeting emotional high. It’s the rush of success, the joy of a win, the satisfaction of a new purchase. But it’s temporary. It fades. It always wants another hit.

Contentment, on the other hand, is quieter and less flashy- it doesn’t trend on social media, but it lasts. It’s the peace of being okay with what you have.

Contentment doesn’t mean complacency. It doesn’t mean giving up on growth or settling for mediocrity. It means knowing why you’re growing in the first place. It’s growth with purpose, not ambition on autopilot.

The Cost of Never Feeling Like It’s Enough

Never defining what “enough” looks like for you means you’ll always be at the mercy of external validation. It’s like running a race where the finish line is constantly being moved by someone else. That kind of life is exhausting. And dangerous. Burnout, broken relationships, financial risk — they often stem not from failure, but from never being satisfied with success.

So many of the regrets people have at the end of life — wishing they’d worked less, been present more, chased fewer things and cherished more people — all circle back to this: they didn’t know when to stop chasing more, because they never stopped to define what was enough.

Defining Your Own “Enough”

This is a deeply personal exercise. What feels like enough to one person might feel like scarcity to another — and that’s okay. The point isn’t to arrive at a universal benchmark. It’s to get clear. You might ask:

What do I really need to live a life I’m proud of?
How much money, time, freedom, and connection would be enough?
What am I chasing that I don’t actually value?

The answers aren’t fixed. They evolve. But the act of asking gives you power. It shifts your focus from blind acquisition to intentional living.

There’s immense wisdom in restraint- in pausing to recognise that the most valuable things in life (peace of mind, strong relationships, time, purpose) can’t be bought, scaled, or hoarded. Often they’re found in knowing what is enough.

In a world that constantly tells us to strive, choosing contentment is a bit of a radical act really. Now, I’d better get back to the packing- and the rest of my coffee.

Pauanui Wharf

Sat, 20 Sep 2025 23:20:00 GMT

The Leopard Jandal

It was one of those perfect summer nights- the kind that stay with you long after the season has passed. Dinner had been simple: sausages and corn on the BBQ, charred just right, eaten with sandy fingers and sun-warmed skin still dusted with salt. None of us had changed yet- bathing suits, threadbare coverups, the occasional hoodie pulled on as the breeze picked up. The sand clung to our feet, nestled between our toes, and we could taste the sea on our lips, feel the warmth of the day still lingering on our skin like a second sunburn.

This walk to the wharf had become our evening ritual. A gentle end to sun-soaked days. We moved in a lazy procession along the footpath that wound through the dunes, familiar silhouettes ahead and behind. Teenagers weaved around us on scooters and bikes, laughter echoing off the sandbanks, headlights flickering like fireflies in the fading dusk.

The moon played peek-a-boo through skudding clouds, casting silver streaks across the estuary. It was high tide. The water surged beneath the jetty as we stepped onto its sun-bleached planks, warm still from the day’s heat. The current was swift, rushing out of the channel and past the dark outline of Slipper Island, where we knew it would go on and on, out into the wide Pacific, perhaps one day licking the coast of Chile.

We lingered on the wharf, chatting easily, the kind of conversation that meandered as aimlessly as we did. The children dared each other, shrieking and splashing, some brave enough to leap from the edge into the dark depths below, their courage bolstered by the presence of friends and fading sunlight. Someone pointed out silver flashes of fish dancing at the surface, and we all paused to look.

A small fishing boat chugged past, heading out with its green light glowing faintly in the twilight. Onshore, couples strolled, barefoot in the damp sand, their silhouettes softening in the distance. The cries of oyster catchers wheeled overhead, and the scent of the ocean seemed to grow stronger with the rising wind.

I shifted, laughing at some comment, and propped my foot casually on the lower rail of the wharf. As I stepped forward to rejoin the group, I felt the unmistakable tug and twist—then a soft plop. I looked down in time to see it: my right jandal, the leopard print one, spinning sunny-side-up just before it hit the water.

I let out a yell, half-shocked, half-laughing.

“My shoe!”

Without hesitation, our friend bolted- bounding down the side of the jetty and across the sand where it dipped steeply into the estuary. The dunes were soft, sucking his feet down to mid-calf with each step, but he pushed on, eyes locked on the drifting jandal as it bobbed away. We cheered him on from above, clapping and hollering as though it were an Olympic sprint.

But the current was too fast, the shoe too small, and within moments it was gone—swept into the deeper channel, heading out on its own mysterious journey beyond the headland and out to sea.

We made jokes all the way back, imagining it washing up somewhere, maybe on a foreign beach or found by a bemused traveller. I walked barefoot along the cooling footpath, grains of sand sticking to my heel, the sky above now a wash of indigo and scattered stars.

Back at the bach, someone pulled out a deck of cards, someone else put the kettle on for tea. We didn’t talk much more about the jandal that night. But I kept the left one.

It hangs now in our garage, tucked near the peg where we keep the secateurs and our old beach hats and deflated lilo. Every time I see it, that lone leopard-print flip-flop, it makes me smile. It reminds me of a summer full of salt and sun and slow evenings. Of friends and laughter. Of barefoot walks and moonlit swims.

And maybe- just maybe- this summer its pair will wash back up onto our shore. Probably not. But who knows? The ocean has its own strange ways.

Nasturtiums

Sat, 20 Sep 2025 19:05:00 GMT

It started with a scent- that faint, peppery sweetness drifting through the open window. I paused mid-step, my hands still damp from rinsing dishes, and turned toward the breeze. Nasturtiums. The garish little trumpets that never failed to pull me back in time.

Suddenly, I was no longer in my kitchen but barefoot in the garden of my childhood home. The summer air was thick with the hum of bees and the far-off bark of dogs. I could almost hear the metallic whine of a mower, the kind that groaned under the weight of long grass. And the unmistakable hiss of hot air balloons drifting over our city—their shadows momentarily cooling our sun-warmed skin as we craned our necks from the gardens.

Those were the golden hours. When daylight stretched far beyond bedtime, and sleep came only after sticky nectarine fingers, impromptu backyard games with the children next door ,and the gentle murmur of neighbourhood barbecues that mingled with the scent of charcoal and citronella. We’d fall asleep to the whisper of sprinklers and the fading laughter of grown-ups sipping wine under fairy lights.

It’s strange, I thought, how something so small- a flower, a scent- could bring so much back.

The irony wasn’t lost on me. In the last house we lived in—a neat little place with terraced soil and perfect sun—I’d tried everything to coax nasturtiums to life. Planted them lovingly, whispered to the seeds, watered just enough. They never took, not once.

And now, here at this new place, after another brutal winter and the flood that had forever changed the back of the property, they’d sprung up like wildfire. Tangled ropes of green winding around the silt-covered decking, trailing into the stream that had carved itself a new course. Dotted everywhere were those bold little bursts of orange.

At first, I yanked at them with frustration. They’d invaded everything—smothering what little order remained. But as the hours passed, my tugging slowed. Each vine seemed to plead a little- remember us?

I couldn’t quite bring myself to toss them all away.

So I set aside a few. Just a small posy, carefully chosen. Five or six blooms with their wild, spiralling stems. I found a bud vase—one of my mother’s, I think—and filled it with fresh water. Their heads nodded over the rim like children peeking over a fence.

That night, with the stars twinkling through our open curtains and the scent of line-dried linen clinging to my sheets, I slipped into bed.

The little vase on my nightstand glowed softly in the dim light, a defiant splash of orange against the muted tones of the room. And as I closed my eyes, the decades peeled back.

There I was again: barefoot, carefree, sun-warmed, and surrounded by laughter.

And for the first time in a long while, I slept deeply.

A Recipe for Contentment: What Dessert Can Teach Us About Life

Sun, 14 Sep 2025 08:45:00 GMT

This weekend I made a chocolate bark: silky ribbons of dark and light chocolate, swirled and layered with tart raspberries and the crunch of toasted almonds. And somewhere between the melting and the scattering, it got me thinking.

We often chase simplicity in the name of peace — a clean calendar, a tidy home, a quiet moment. But just like the most memorable desserts aren’t one-note, the most fulfilling lives aren’t either. Contentment, real contentment, doesn’t come from sameness - it comes from a bit of everything, layered up, the way the best desserts are.

The Bitterness of Dark Chocolate: Depth in the Shadows

Dark chocolate, with its richness and bitter edge, reminds us that not everything sweet is simple. In life, our darker experiences — grief, disappointment, uncertainty — give our joys their full flavor. They build resilience. They demand presence. They challenge us to grow.

Without some darkness, sweetness loses its edge. We need those deeper, sometimes more difficult notes to round out our emotional palate.

The Lightness of White Chocolate: Comfort and Calm

Where dark chocolate is intense, white chocolate is soothing — smooth, sweet, and creamy. It doesn’t challenge the senses, but instead comforts them. This is the quiet of a Sunday morning, the laughter with a friend, the satisfaction of a job well done.

We all need moments of softness. Too much intensity, and life becomes overwhelming. The gentle layers remind us to slow down, savor, breathe.

Raspberries: Tart Surprises That Keep Us Awake

Enter raspberries — vibrant, slightly sharp, bursting with flavor. They cut through the richness with their brightness. In life, these are the moments that jolt us — new ideas, unexpected opportunities, passionate conversations, spontaneous adventures.

Tartness gives contrast. It reminds us not to get too comfortable. It keeps us alive and awake to the unexpected.

Almonds: Texture, Substance, and Crunch

Toasted almonds bring it all back to earth — that grounded, nutty crunch that adds texture and depth. They’re not flashy, but they’re essential. They represent stability, habits, and the practical rituals that keep life moving: making the bed, calling your mother, keeping a promise to yourself.

They’re the small, dependable pieces that give your life structure — so the richness and sweetness don’t melt into chaos.

The Art of Balance

When you taste a dessert that’s perfectly balanced — bitter, sweet, tart, creamy, crunchy — your brain recognizes harmony before you even know why it tastes so good. And that’s exactly how a well-lived life feels.

Contentment isn’t about avoiding the bitter or ignoring the sharp. It’s about blending it all together with intention.

Dark and light, soft and strong, tart and sweet, messy and composed.

A life, like a good dessert, wants a bit of contrast. And this one wants eating- I’d better go and break some off before the girls find the tray!

Savoring the Moments: My Humble Offering Toward a Life of Peaceful Fulfilment

Sat, 06 Sep 2025 07:03:00 GMT

This blog, along with my corresponding Instagram accounts and the books I’m quietly, lovingly working on, are all part of something very personal- and something I hope others will enjoy too. They are my humble contribution to living a life of peaceful fulfilment and contentment.

The kind of fulfilment I mean arrives quietly- in the early morning light, in the steam rising from a cup of tea, or on the daily walk.

This little online space is where I try to slow down and notice. It’s where I gather the details that so often go overlooked- the textures and tiny joys of everyday life. And in doing so, I hope to encourage a little savouring of the moments.

Not every post will be profound, or every photo perfect (or every chapter earth-shattering!), but all of it is shared with care- with the hope that it might encourage someone, somewhere, to slow down and feel a little more at home.

Thank you for being here, and for reading. I am so very grateful.

With love and gratitude,

Savoring the Small Things: How Rituals Help Us Find Joy in the Everyday

Mon, 01 Sep 2025 00:36:00 GMT

I’ve been reading The Ritual Effect by Michael Norton this week, and it has me thinking about how rarely we pause to savour what we already have- we’re forever chasing the next task or the next milestone.

In The Ritual Effect, Michael Norton offers a powerful insight into how rituals—those small, intentional acts we repeat—can unlock deeper meaning and joy in our daily lives. He writes:

“Savoring—Consumption rituals can prompt us to savor even our smallest ordinary pleasures. The word savoring has a broader definition—Heightened attention and appreciation in respect to all aspects of our everyday lives. One we can sustain and augment; Strategies include—Try to be present for our positive moments and appreciate them. Communicate and celebrate savoring with others. Express our savoring through nonverbal behaviours such as smiling. Ritually remember details about past positive experiences while also anticipating the details of those still to come.”

This idea of savouring is deceptively simple. It’s about consciously choosing to slow down and notice the texture of your morning coffee, the warmth of sunlight through the window, or the laugh of a loved one across the table.

Why Savoring Matters

When we savour, we’re tuning in to what’s good in the here and now, rather than letting it slip past unnoticed. And rituals can help us get there.

Think about it: lighting a candle before dinner, taking a deep breath before your first sip of tea, or sharing a daily highlight with a partner at the end of the day. These simple acts are more than habits—they’re rituals. They signal to our minds: pay attention, this matters.

How to Create Rituals That Help You Savor

Norton offers practical strategies to make savoring more sustainable and meaningful:

Be present for positive moments. Don’t just let a good moment pass by—stop and name it. Feel it fully.
Share the joy. Talk to others about what you’re enjoying. Joy multiplies when shared.
Smile, pause, breathe. Nonverbal behaviors reinforce internal states. Smiling, for instance, not only expresses joy—it amplifies it.
Remember the good. Create rituals around reminiscing. Look at old photos, revisit favorite places, or simply tell a friend about a great moment from your week.
Anticipate future joy. Plan something to look forward to, and allow yourself to savor the anticipation as much as the experience itself.

Small Rituals, Big Impact

You don’t need to overhaul your life to benefit from this. You just need to notice what you already love—and ritualize the noticing. Whether it’s a quiet walk in the morning, a moment of gratitude before sleep, or a Saturday pancake breakfast with your kids, these rituals become anchors that tether us to the richness of life.

Life isn’t just something to get through. I’m off to practise what I’ve been reading- slowly!

You don’t need to prove your success. You just need to live in alignment with what truly matters.

Thu, 28 Aug 2025 22:56:00 GMT

In a world that constantly tells us to buy more, show more, and live bigger, it’s easy to fall into the trap of spending recklessly in pursuit of a fleeting sense of happiness or validation. But as Jay Shetty wisely advises:
“Do not save what is left after spending. Spend what is left after saving.”

It’s a powerful shift in mindset, one that puts long-term peace ahead of short-term pleasure.

The Illusion of Wealth

Many of us grew up believing that success looks like luxury cars, designer clothes, and exotic vacations. But often, these are just expensive props in a performance of success—not its reality. People overspend to “feel” successful, not realizing that every impulse buy is often a trade: your future peace for present dopamine.

Impulse buying triggers a chemical reaction in the brain—dopamine. It’s the same chemical that’s released when we achieve something meaningful. The problem is, retail therapy offers a fake version of that fulfillment. The hit is short-lived. The debt, however, isn’t.

Every time you buy something just to feel better, you’re spending a little of your future peace too.

Is Your Lifestyle Competing with Your Income?

One of the most important questions you can ask yourself is:
“Is my lifestyle competing with my income?”

If your answer is yes, it’s time to reassess. Living beyond your means isn’t a sustainable strategy. It creates stress, debt, and dependency. And no matter how much money you make, if your lifestyle constantly outpaces your income, you’ll never feel secure—because you aren’t.

That’s why Shetty’s advice hits so hard. Saving first means you’re taking care of your future self before your current self starts spending.

It’s a principle of delayed gratification, but it doesn’t mean depriving yourself. It means spending with intention, not impulse.

The Freedom of Living Within (or Below) Your Means

Living modestly doesn’t mean living miserably. It means living freely.

When you save intentionally and spend mindfully, you reclaim ownership over your time, energy, and future. You’re not stuck in cycles of financial stress or chasing the next big paycheck just to keep up appearances. You gain the flexibility to say “yes” to opportunities that align with your values—and “no” to those that don’t.

And if I have more, I have more to give: wealth with purpose becomes generosity.

When you manage your finances with discipline and clarity, you’re not just building a more secure life for yourself—you’re creating overflow. You can support causes you care about, help loved ones in need, invest in community, and be a source of hope for others.

You don’t need to live greedily to live richly, or to prove anything- just to live by what you value.

I have much to learn from this, and it’s a journey and an education I am continually reminding myself to stay present in and objective.

To want is to lack

Thu, 28 Aug 2025 22:42:00 GMT

“To want is to lack.”

At first glance, this phrase might sound harsh—almost nihilistic. But look again, and you’ll find a quiet wisdom embedded within it, pointing us toward a deeper peace that modern life rarely encourages us to seek.

We live in a culture that worships desire. We’re told to dream bigger, want more, strive harder. And while there’s beauty in aspiration, unchecked desire often leads to a kind of chronic restlessness—a gnawing sense that we are always missing something, that we must constantly achieve and acquire in order to be fulfilled.

But what if fulfilment doesn’t lie in more, but in enough?

There’s a quote worth holding close:

“The graceful acceptance of your minuscule position in the great cosmos is the gateway to calm and harmony.”

This isn’t about diminishing yourself. It’s about locating yourself properly in the grand web of existence. It’s about releasing the illusion that you are the central character in a universe designed for your personal success story.

Spend a quiet afternoon with a dog. Or sit beside a cat as it naps in a sunbeam. Watch a bird hop along a branch, utterly indifferent to your accomplishments or anxieties. That animal doesn’t care if you’re rich or broke, admired or unknown. To them, your resume and your reputation mean precisely nothing.

And yet, in that animal’s presence, you can find something you rarely find in boardrooms or newsfeeds: peace.

Why? Because animals, in their quiet, nonverbal way, teach us to just be. They don’t obsess about tomorrow. They don’t scroll through worries. They don’t measure worth in trophies or titles. They accept the moment. And in their company, we can too.

The truth is, wanting can often be a mask for emptiness. When we say, “I want this,” we’re also admitting, “I do not have it.” Desire, in this way, is the language of lack. And while there’s nothing wrong with wanting—a natural part of life—it’s worth questioning the volume of that wanting, and whether it’s leading us toward contentment, or pulling us further from it.

In contrast, grace comes when we loosen our grip on the self, when we acknowledge that our individual lives are just specks in a vast, mysterious cosmos. And that’s okay. More than okay—it’s liberating.

You don’t have to be significant to feel at peace with the world.

So the next time your mind races with desire—more success, more validation, more something—try this instead: Sit down beside an animal who loves you without conditions. Let their stillness become your own. Let go of the climb, just for a moment. And remember:

To want is to lack.
But to accept? That’s the beginning of peace.

Tonight, turn off your screens, silence the noise, and spend 10 uninterrupted minutes with your pet—no agenda, no phone, no words. Let them teach you what presence feels like. You might just remember what it means to simply be enough.

Everybody is flawed- and if I’m honest I find that a comforting thought.

Whether you come from a religious tradition, follow a spiritual path, or identify as secular, there’s a common thread woven through all frameworks of self-understanding: we are imperfect beings. Faith traditions remind us we are fallen, broken, limited. Psychology tells us we carry wounds, traumas, biases. Even modern science acknowledges the deeply human nature of error, emotion, and irrationality.

This shared brokenness — far from being a weakness — can actually be our starting point for growth, compassion, and connection.

In a world that constantly pushes us toward performance and perfection, admitting our flaws feels counterintuitive. But in truth, it’s only when we accept our imperfection that we can begin to understand ourselves and genuinely connect with others. Vulnerability is not the soft underbelly of weakness — it’s the fertile soil from which empathy, authenticity, and real intimacy grow.

A Shift in Identity

Over the centuries, how we define ourselves — and each other — has changed dramatically. If you met someone 500 years ago, your first question would likely be:
“Where are you from?”
That question spoke to belonging. It referenced family, tribe, community, land — a kind of shared identity that was inherited, rooted, and relational.

Today, more often than not, we ask:
“What do you do?”
The answer is no longer about where we belong, but what we produce. We’ve shifted from a communal sense of self to a performative one. Worth is now tied to output, status, and perceived success — rather than character, context, or connection.

This is not just a linguistic change. It reveals a deeper cultural shift:
We’ve come to measure ourselves and others by value metrics — job title, income, social capital — as though a person’s true worth can be distilled to a LinkedIn headline or a 10-second elevator pitch.

The Problem with Perceived Worth

When identity is tied too tightly to performance, two things happen:

We hide our flaws — terrified they’ll disqualify us from love, opportunity, or respect.
We judge others by narrow standards — reducing rich, complex human beings to roles, reputations, or resumes.

This is why the idea that “everyone is broken” is so deeply helpful. It levels the playing field. It reminds us that no one has it all together, even if they look like they do. It invites grace — for ourselves, and for others.

Vulnerability as a Gateway

Healing doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens in relationships — and relationships thrive on vulnerability, not perfection.

When we let others see the cracks in our armor — our doubts, mistakes, regrets, and fears — something sacred happens. Not pity, not shame, but recognition. “Ah,” they might say, “you too?” And in that moment, a bond forms. A bridge is built. Not over-polished resumes or curated Instagram lives, but over the shared reality of what it means to be human.

So, instead of striving to appear flawless, perhaps the better goal is to become more real. To embrace the messy, to show up imperfectly, and to seek others not for their status, but for their story.

You may find that when you look past the job title you get a truer connection- two flawed humans, and that’s plenty.

Ideologies and Weeds: Rethinking What We Think We Know

Sat, 23 Aug 2025 08:23:00 GMT

We all have ideologies. They’re like regional accents—something we carry with us, shaping how we speak, think, and move through the world, often without ever noticing. You might not realise your voice has a certain lilt until someone from somewhere else points it out. In the same way, your beliefs—about politics, success, nature, people—feel like common sense, until you meet someone whose “common sense” looks completely different.

Ideologies are inherited, absorbed, shaped by our families, our cultures, our environments. And just like accents, they can shift over time, soften, strengthen, even disappear under the right pressures. But they’re always there, influencing how we see the world.

Take, for example, the way we think about nature. Most of us were taught to pull weeds out of the garden. Weeds are bad. Weeds are unwanted. But what is a weed, really?

A weed is just a plant that happens to be growing in the wrong place.

That’s the whole definition- a dandelion isn’t a villain in its own story. It’s just thriving where we didn’t expect—or want—it to. It’s a matter of perspective. In a lawn it’s a nuisance, in herbal medicine it’s a treasure trove of benefits- same plant, different ideology.

What if we applied that thinking to people? To ideas? To ourselves?

Maybe some of the “weeds” in our lives (those stray thoughts, different opinions, or unexpected changes) aren’t wrong, just unplanned- things we haven’t learned to see the value in yet, or that are even trying to teach us something about adaptability, or resilience, or rethinking our assumptions.

The world is full of things we’ve labelled- right, wrong, natural, unnatural, successful, failed. But those labels often say more about our ideologies than the things themselves. And like accents, we don’t always hear our own until someone else points them out.

So next time you’re quick to judge something—a person, a belief, a plant—ask yourself: is this really “wrong,” or is it just out of place in the mental garden I’ve inherited?

We don’t have to pull every weed. Sometimes, letting something grow where it wasn’t “meant” to be is exactly what a garden (or a mind) needs.

Back to Basics: The Quiet Return to Simplicity, Style, and Wholesome Living

Fri, 15 Aug 2025 19:21:00 GMT

Lately, I’ve found myself paring things back. Not just in my wardrobe, but across the board—my beauty routine, the products I clean with, even the shoes I lace up every morning. There’s been a slow but steady pull toward fewer chemicals and simpler things- not minimalism in a stark or trendy sense, just choices that feel considered and will last.

Not flashy logos, not trend-chasing, not fast anything- just good texture, a proper fit, comfort and quality (and a sense of calm with it).

Clothing: Rediscovering the Essentials

In my wardrobe, that means rediscovering well-made basics—pieces that breathe, move, and last. Soft cottons, natural wools, relaxed tailoring. Linen that wrinkles in the right way. Silhouettes that feel elegant without trying too hard. I’ve been leaning into brands that focus on craftsmanship over marketing, whose pieces speak in soft neutrals and impeccable details rather than shouting for attention.

Whether it’s casual summer layers, elevated athleticwear, or just the perfect plain tee, I’m asking more from the things I buy. Does it feel good on the skin? Does it fit in a way that supports movement, not restricts it? Can I see myself wearing it five years from now?

That’s where my attention is going now.

Footwear: From Aesthetic to Ergonomic

I recently listened to a podcast on foot health and it really clicked—our feet, the foundation of everything we do, are so often neglected. I walk everywhere: commuting to work, running errands, weekend hikes, long golf days. I’ve always appreciated a well-constructed shoe, but now I’m seeking out designs that are ergonomic, not just stylish.

Brands like Vivobarefoot are on my radar now—stripping back unnecessary cushioning and offering footwear that lets your feet move the way they were designed to. Support, mobility, materials that breathe- shoes that just get on with the job.

Beauty: Tallow and the Wisdom of Grandmothers

In my beauty cabinet, the shift is similar. I just ordered locally made tallow skincare—something I never thought I’d try (who wants to smell like a roast dinner?). But honestly, there’s wisdom in the old ways. Our grandmothers knew how to care for skin with what was available, natural, and effective.

Tallow is rich in nutrients, deeply moisturizing, and incredibly healing—especially for those of us trying to simplify our routines and avoid the chemical-laden potions that promise miracles but rarely deliver. It’s back to basics. Skin care that feels wholesome.

The same goes for cleaning products—vinegar, castile soap, essential oils. No harsh smells, no unpronounceable ingredients. Just clean, in every sense of the word.

A More Grounded Kind of Luxury

This isn’t about going off-grid or swearing off modernity. It’s about choosing differently, tuning into what actually feels good, lasting, and real. It’s about a lifestyle that supports the body, calms the mind, and respects the earth.

If you’re feeling the same pull to simplify, it starts with the smallest swaps: your shoes, your skincare, your everyday staples.

A Few Brands & Finds on My Radar:

Vivobarefoot – ergonomic, minimal footwear with a cult following for a reason
Christy Dawn, ASKET, Pangaia – brands with a commitment to sustainability and understated beauty
Local Tallow Skincare – wholesome, ancestral, surprisingly chic
Everlane (for elevated basics)
WE-AR, Ethical yoga inspired clothing
Blueland or Skipper– low-waste, clean cleaning products
**Marlow-**Premium athleisurewear; simple, sleek and effortless
ALEXANDRA- A Melbourne-based brand embracing unstructured silhouettes and soft lines

Quiet luxury isn’t about having less—it’s about having less, better. And that feels like a luxury worth investing in.

“It’s not about the dress you wear, but about the life you live in that dress.”

This quote lingers like a quiet truth. It reminds us that what we choose to wear isn’t just fabric—it’s a reflection of how we move through the world, how we feel, and how we want to live. A dress can empower, ground, uplift, or stifle us, not because of its cut or cost, but because of the energy we bring to it—and the energy it gives back.

The same can be said of how we eat, move, rest, think, and live.

We’re slowly waking up to the reality that less can be more—not in a minimalist, cold way, but in a deeply nourishing one. Just as you might step into a simple linen dress and feel immediately more yourself—freer, softer, clearer—you can apply that same principle to every part of your lifestyle.

Food: From Packets to Plants

Our diets, like our wardrobes, can become cluttered. Over-processed, over-complicated, and disconnected from what our bodies really need. When we pare back—fewer packets, more produce—we begin to feel more like ourselves again. We notice how food makes us feel, not just how it tastes. Wholefoods nourish more than just our bodies—they nourish our presence, energy, and emotional stability.

Eating this way isn’t a trend. It’s a return. A quiet rebellion against diet culture, fast food, and the idea that food must be convenient above all else. It’s about cooking with care, eating with awareness, and fueling a life that feels intentional.

Beauty: Less Masking, More Radiance

Just as with food, beauty routines can become performative. But when we approach beauty as an extension of wellness rather than a mask, everything changes. We’re not chasing youth or perfection—we’re honoring the skin we’re in. We’re choosing products that nourish us, not just chemically but energetically. Fewer steps, cleaner ingredients, deeper results.

Movement: Inhabiting Your Body Fully

You don’t need the fanciest gear or the trendiest workouts. Movement is about being in your body—walking with purpose, stretching with gratitude, dancing for no reason at all. The goal isn’t to shrink or sculpt, but to move energy, to feel alive, to embody presence.

Home: A Sacred Reflection

Your home should feel like a deep exhale. Furnishing it thoughtfully, filling it with natural textures, soft light, and meaningful objects isn’t about design perfection—it’s about resonance. A beautiful home holds you. It reminds you of who you are. It supports the life you’re building.

Sleep: The Silent Healer

We glorify hustle, but the true magic happens when we rest. A good night’s sleep isn’t a luxury—it’s foundational. When we prioritize quality rest—turning off devices, cooling the room, slowing the mind—we set ourselves up for better decisions, clearer thoughts, and calmer days.

Mental Diet: What You Consume Matters

What you read, watch, and listen to becomes part of your inner world. Are your books nourishing your curiosity? Do your favorite shows leave you feeling depleted or inspired? Are the podcasts you queue up building you or draining you?

Mindful consumption isn’t just about what’s on your plate. It’s also about what you feed your mind and soul.

Clothing: Second Skin, First Statement

Coming full circle, the clothes you wear are often the first expression of your inner world. Do they support your lifestyle? Do they let you breathe, move, feel like you? When we simplify our wardrobes to reflect who we are rather than who we think we should be, getting dressed becomes a ritual, not a routine.

Living a Whole Life

When we step back, it becomes clear: it’s not about the one choice—it’s about how that choice supports the life we want to live.

The dress is just a dress, yes.
But how do you feel in it?
What kind of life do you lead in it?

The same goes for your meals, your skincare, your home, your habits. It’s all connected. Each piece is a thread in the larger tapestry of your wellbeing.

So start small, and simplify one area at a time. I’m starting with my shoes and my skin, and we’ll see where it goes….

A Different Kind of Buzz: Choosing a New Perspective Without Alcohol

Thu, 07 Aug 2025 08:50:00 GMT

There’s a special kind of thrill that hits just before the sun rises - when the world is still stretching, and the day hasn’t quite begun its usual noise. It’s quiet, but there’s energy in the air, the kind that turns your stomach in the best way- like you’re about to do something bold and beautiful, even if all you’re doing is making coffee and watching the sky change color.

I never used to notice that.

Back then, mornings were something I endured. Waking up wasn’t a beginning — it was a recovery. I’d squint at the light, try to remember how the night ended, and wade through a fog thick with regret, shame, and dehydration. The simplest pleasures — crisp sheets, a good cup of coffee, even a sunrise — were lost in that haze. Blurred out. Drowned beneath the hum of a hangover and the weight of yesterday’s decisions.

But everything changed when I decided to look at life from a different angle- without alcohol.

And in this version of life, the joy is subtle but steady. It’s in the things I once overlooked.

It’s the silhouette of trees before dawn, like delicate ink sketches against a softening sky. It’s the electric flutter in my belly as the day tiptoes in — not anxiety, not dread — but anticipation. It’s the way my cats rumbles like engines when I climb into bed at 9 p.m. with a book and clean sheets. It’s knowing I’ll wake up clear. And ready.

There’s a kind of magic in getting your mornings back. Sobriety hasn’t dulled my life- quite the opposite. Colors are more vivid, flavors deeper, connections more real. And that first sip of good coffee in the quiet of an early morning? That’s a high I’ll never trade again.

This isn’t missing out. Far from it.

And I’m so grateful I did.

I used to be aware of these pleasures — the morning light, the scent of fresh sheets, the quiet joy of a deep purring cat — but they were dulled. Blurred behind a veil. Clouded by a hangover of some degree — sometimes faint, sometimes crushing — but always there, shadowing the edges of joy, numbing both the highs and the lows.

Since stepping into sobriety, I’ve become so much less pessimistic and reactive. Calmer. Kinder, even — to others and to myself.

This past weekend, my husband came off his bike. I didn’t see the fall, but I knew something was wrong the moment he returned — limping slightly, torn kit, and that tight, pained expression that says “I’m fine” but means anything but.

We’ve been together for over twenty years, and — being the kind of chap who rides bikes daily — there have been a few crashes over the years. But this time, I noticed how differently I responded. No anger, no panic, no spiralling into frustration- just calm, and compassion.

Our daughters noticed that shift in me early on. Not long into my sobriety, one of them casually mentioned that I wasn’t a “shouty mummy” anymore. That one landed deep. Kids don’t filter or flatter — they tell the truth. And mine were seeing a new version of me emerge before I could fully recognize her myself.

Now, I don’t just get through the day — I live it. Fully. I’m no longer clawing my way through hours, waiting for the first socially acceptable sip of wine at 5 p.m. — or earlier, if I could justify it. I’m thriving. I’m productive, focused, and free from the mental gymnastics of negotiating with myself about drinking.

And with that clarity has come a shift in how I view society, too. I see more clearly now how many of us are sold the idea that money equals power equals success — and that happiness is the natural outcome of that equation. But it’s not. True contentment isn’t something you buy. It’s not a handbag, a promotion, or the perfect dinner party. And it certainly isn’t found at the bottom of a bottle.

Happiness, for me, now lives in small, honest moments. In being present. In feeling the weight of my daughter’s hand in mine. In meeting a crisis with calm. In the sunrise. The stillness. The silence. The space.

No, there are no happy endings in alcohol. But there are countless new beginnings without it.

And I’m living one of them now.

Savoring the moments: Reflections on growing children, firsts, and everyday magic

Thu, 31 Jul 2025 07:23:00 GMT

I find myself in a chapter full of change right now, watching my teenage daughters stretch into the world- a thousand tiny firsts that seem to fly past in a blink.

As a mum of fast-growing girls, it’s impossible not to notice the shift—the physical, emotional, and soulful expansion that comes with this age. The pace is relentless- first cars, first concerts, first heartbreaks, first jobs, first overseas adventures. There is a beauty and a bittersweetness in it all. My girls are blossoming into exactly who they’re meant to be. And while they’re growing outward, exploring boldly and dreaming widely, I find myself quietly growing inward. Learning new dimensions of love, patience, and presence.

There was a time when they needed me to tie their laces, hold their hands crossing the street, and sit bedside through night-time fears. Now they need different things: space, trust, boundaries, quiet encouragement, and yes—plenty of food. But they also need something more subtle: a steady witness, someone who notices not just the big milestones but the tiny moments in between.

And so I’ve taken up the practice of saving moments—not just the camera-ready ones, but the ones that don’t shout for attention. The quick hug before school. The way they still instinctively say “Mum?” when they walk through the door. The half-laughed stories about boys shared on the drive to ballet. The trail of cookie crumbs left behind after a late-night baking session that I didn’t know was happening until the smell of chocolate filled the house.

These are the moments we can miss when we’re rushing, distracted, or overwhelmed- and they are the ones that carry the spirit of our home.

In family life, it’s vital to make space—for the personalities that fill the rooms, for the quiet and the chaos, for differences and strengths. In our home, that means laughing at ourselves, apologising when needed, and understanding that no one is perfect but everyone is growing. And maybe most importantly, it means keeping the door open, physically and emotionally. No matter how tall they get or how far they go, I want my girls to know that home is always home. Mummy is always Mummy, however old they are.

This chapter of our lives is full of firsts—for them and for me. And in all honesty, it can be emotional. It’s a slow letting go and a deep holding on at the same time. But there is a kind of magic here too- the gentle, glowing kind. The kind you feel in a long walk together, in the shared silence of just being near each other. The kind you hear in the sound of laughter down the hall or see in the way they care for their friends.

I’ve learned that life doesn’t pause so we can notice it—we have to do the noticing ourselves. We often find what we go looking for. So I’ve chosen to look for the joy and the magic- the sparkle in the mundane, the miracle in the everyday.

This isn’t a season I want to race through. I want to savour it. All of it. Even the chaos. Even the laundry. Even the heartbreaks they will learn to navigate. Because all of it is life. And life—when we slow down enough to see it—is full of sacred, ordinary wonders.

So let’s keep saving the moments, staying curious, and meeting our families where they are- with patience and an open heart.

A Step Aside, A Look Within: How I Found My Way Here

Fri, 25 Jul 2025 09:13:00 GMT

This post might feel like a bit of a sidestep from the usual content I share here. I know many of you come for thoughts that meander through ideas, observations, or deeper ponderings on the world around us — and those will continue. But today, I felt it was time to take a pause and speak more personally. To share not just what I think, but why I write. To trace the path — winding, messy, and honest — that brought me here, to this blog, and to this version of my life.

The truth is, I didn’t always know I’d be writing in this way, or at all. Writing wasn’t part of some grand plan. It was more like a quiet instinct that kept surfacing over the years. The kind of nudge that grows more insistent the more you try to push it aside.

At first, it was just journaling. Fragments of thought and feeling. Then it became letters never sent. Pages in the margins of ordinary days — in between the chaos of parenting, work, and life’s endless swirl. Writing was how I made sense of things, especially during some of the harder seasons. It wasn’t polished or public- it was personal, private, and at times a lifesaver.

And then something pivotal happened: I stopped drinking. That was the true turning point. I hesitate to even use the word “sobriety” because, to be honest, it’s never sat quite right with me. It sounds so somber and heavy — as if it’s all sacrifice and shadows. But for me, it’s been anything but. Being alcohol-free has been joyful, freeing, inspiring- just plain GOOD.

That’s not to say the road was easy. It wasn’t. It came with doubts, judgment, eye rolls, and plenty of unsolicited opinions. At times, it was a lonely place to be. Some people didn’t get it. Others didn’t care, or quietly faded from my life. But in hindsight, most people really didn’t mind if I was drinking or not — and those who did? Well, that says more about them than it ever did about me.

The only thing I truly regret is not doing it sooner.

I wish I could reclaim all those foggy mornings battling a headache, just getting through the day until bedtime. I wish I could have been more present for my babies — fully, joyfully, and clearly — rather than muddling through under the haze of “mummy wine.” I wish I hadn’t seen holidays and family vacations as a permission slip to start drinking mid-morning, poolside or not.

Looking back through old photos, I see a pattern I once refused to notice—glass after glass raised in celebration, in escape, in habit. Sunset after sunset, seemingly made more golden by the swirl of wine in hand. There are moments with my young children, their faces lit with innocence and joy, and always, somehow, the quiet presence of that drink nearby. I didn’t see it then. But now, with eyes unclouded and a heart more awake, it feels unbearably sad. Not in a dramatic way- just a slow, aching sadness for time I can’t have back. Today I meet life without the crutch, and strangely, without the haze it’s all more beautiful. Sometimes more heartbreaking too. But a true gift, each and every day we get to live it.

But I can’t rewrite the past.

What I can do is celebrate this new chapter.

Five years on, I’m living in a way that feels real. My writing is clearer. My connection to nature, deeper. My time with my family is filled with laughter, presence, and gratitude. And the buzz I get from this life — from simple mornings, from creativity, from truly feeling things — far outweighs anything I ever found in a bottle.

So yes, this post is a little different. It’s more personal than usual. But it’s also honest. And it’s part of the story — the real story — behind how I found this path and why I show up here to write.

To anyone else walking a similar road, or just beginning to wonder about their own: you’re not alone, and there is so much joy on the other side of what feels hard right now. Thank you, as always, for reading. x

The Ordinary Magic of a Bluebird Winter’s Day

Wed, 23 Jul 2025 08:17:00 GMT

Today, I stepped out into air so cold it bit at my cheeks, just 2 degrees, but not a cloud in sight. The sky stretched endlessly above me—clear, crisp, an impossible shade of blue. The kind of sky that makes everything below it feel sharper, quieter, and somehow more alive. Birdsong filled the silence—sweet, loud, insistent reminders that life carries on, even in the stillness of winter. I hadn’t realised I was smiling until I felt my face ache a little from holding it too long, and I laughed out loud, alone but entirely content. I was beaming. Bubbling with joy. I could have burst with the overwhelming gratitude I felt in that moment.

It wasn’t a special day really- no milestone, no celebration, just a simple walk under a blue sky, breathing in cold clean air, wrapped in layers to fight off the bite of a dipping afternoon temperature. But there was magic in it!

It struck me then, just how good my life is—not because of any one grand thing, but because of all the small ones. The string of ordinary blessings we so often overlook. Sure, not every day is as clear and golden as today- some are heavy, grey, messy- but the good ones carry enough warmth to get us through the others.

Even the walk home, cheeks red and fingers beginning to tingle, held that same quiet joy. I plodded back through crunchy leaves and the hush of a sleepy afternoon, rugged up in my coat and scarf, heart still full.

Back home, it was time for the everyday tasks. Folding laundry warm from the dryer, the scent of clean cotton filling the room. Preparing dinner—steaks tonight, the pan hissing and the kitchen filling with that mouth-watering aroma. Then, cleaning up afterward, greasy plates stacked high, music humming softly in the background. Even the clatter of dishes in soapy water felt grounding. Calming. Peaceful.

I find such joy in these rhythms- lighting a scented candle to mask the lingering steak (delicious, but not something you want to smell at 7 a.m.), or stepping into a hot shower after a cold walk, relishing the feeling of warmth seeping back into your bones. And applying my favourite face cream- not a chore, a little act of care. Everyday luxuries we often move past too quickly.

And the birds. Oh, the birds. Each day their presence becomes more noticeable. Maybe it’s the bare trees, or the winter hunger that draws them closer. Blackbirds and thrushes filling the air with melody. Tiny fantails dancing past, their wings so close I could feel their movement. Kererū slicing through the air with their unmistakable wingbeats, and playful tūī letting loose with their peculiar, beautiful calls. They are daily wonders, tucked into branches and hedges, asking only that we stop and notice.

When you begin to really see these things (the joy tucked inside the folding, the birdsong, the warm water, the scent of soap) you start to find more and more, until life becomes abundant with them- and the ordinary becomes the thing you look forward to.

In a world that feels a little too fast at times, it does us good to notice and appreciate and give thanks- and to smile, even when it’s cold, and your cheeks are numb, and your hands are full of laundry. This ordinary life is SO worth savouring.

Finding the Sparkle in a Stormy Week

Sat, 19 Jul 2025 08:48:00 GMT

It’s been one of those weeks- cold, wet, and relentless. The kind where you look out the window at 3 p.m. and wonder how it’s already so dark. The kind where the to-do list grows faster than it shrinks, and the rain never seems to stop.

Between umbrellas flipping inside out, traffic crawling through misted streets, and fingers chilled despite thick gloves, it would be easy to write this week off as miserable. Just another bleak stretch of winter. A series of grey, forgettable days.

But if you slow down, even just for a moment, there are gems hidden in plain sight.

Like that rare gift of a deep, uninterrupted sleep, the kind that cradles you and lets you wake up feeling human again. Or the cheerful songbird on a leafless branch, its melody slicing through the drizzle with optimism that feels almost defiant.

There was that succulent piece of steak sizzling on the barbecue, warm smoke curling into the cold air, a taste of summer in the heart of winter. The indulgence of a fresh manicure, fingers polished and neat!

Then there was the walk, the rain paused just long enough to step outside. Damp earth, mist clinging to hills, and puddles reflecting the soft gold of the late sun. Laundry on the line, finally, after weeks of relying on indoor racks and damp corners. There’s something so wholesome about sheets dancing in the breeze again.

Inside, little pockets of satisfaction: a fridge finally organized, everything in its place, meals practically planning themselves. My beautiful cats— especially talkative and affectionate, brushing against my legs, purring like an engine as you scoop breakfast into the bowl.

And let’s not forget the fire, wood crackling and popping, heat seeping into your bones. Or that sigh — the deep, contented kind — as you close the cover on a good book, story complete, soul satisfied.

It’s tempting to wait for perfect days — clear skies, smooth schedules, warm breezes — to feel grateful. But that kind of perfection is rare, and fleeting. What we can do is train our eyes and hearts to notice the beauty tucked into imperfection.

So take a moment, look a little closer, and treasure the ordinary miracles.

Even in a busy, rainy, cold week (maybe especially then) there’s wonder to be found.

Homemaking Has Always Been Within Me

Tue, 15 Jul 2025 07:58:00 GMT

It only recently dawned on me (perhaps in a quiet moment folding laundry, or arranging a simple bud vase on the windowsill) that homemaking, in its broadest sense, has been within me since childhood. It’s not something I suddenly adopted after becoming a mother or homeowner. Rather, it’s been a lifelong thread, gently weaving its way through every stage of my life.

As an only child, I was constantly building little worlds. Dollhouses were whole universes where I could imagine, arrange, and tend to tiny, imagined lives. In the garden, I would create make-believe homes with sticks and leaves, setting up “rooms” and pretending to live within them. At school, even the playground was a stage for domestic daydreams—games of house, carefully crafted roles, stories of family and space and comfort. I remember endlessly reorganising the furniture at home, tidying up corners, arranging objects into little vignettes that somehow made a room feel right. I was always seeking a feeling- a sense of peace and belonging.

Later, when I chose to study art, I realise now that it wasn’t just about the paintings themselves. I often imagined where a piece might hang. What kind of home would frame this canvas? Who would live with it, look at it daily, feel something from it? These questions were quiet but ever-present. Looking back, they were clues.

Eventually, I found myself drawn deeper into interiors. I formally studied interior design, worked in design and procurement, and fell in love with the process of creating intentional, meaningful spaces. Each project was about more than aesthetics—it was about atmosphere, emotion, and experience. Then I had children, and that thread continued to evolve. Homemaking became less about styling and more about living. Creating a life of contentment, simplicity, and sanctuary within the walls of home became my daily art form.

There’s a mindfulness to all of this- a grounding that happens when our environment reflects care and love. Homemaking, for me, is an act of everyday reverence. Whether it’s preparing dinner in a clean, ordered kitchen with fresh ingredients and a vase of garden blooms… or choosing an outfit from a simple, curated wardrobe where everything feels like me—these moments are expressions of something deeper. Something joyful and sacred.

Martha Stewart was, and remains, an enormous influence on me. She taught me that there is dignity and delight in the details. That beauty matters. That daily life can be elevated—not in grand or unattainable ways, but through intention, order, creativity, and care. I still find so much joy in the little rituals: using my beloved KitchenAid mixer, folding linens just so, lighting a candle after tidying a room. These are gestures of affection for the life I’m building, not chores at all.

This blog is, in a way, an extension of all of this. A space to explore the ordinary magic of daily life. To honour the rituals that bring joy, peace, and groundedness. To reflect on how we make our homes into sanctuaries.

Thank you for being here. I hope, in some small way, this space inspires you to see your own home—your own life—as a beautiful, evolving work of art.

The Power of a mindful closet: Transforming more than just your wardrobe

Sat, 12 Jul 2025 02:39:00 GMT

The Power of a Mindful Closet: How Sorting, Editing, and Intentional Organization Can Transform More Than Just YourWardrobe

In a world saturated with fast fashion, fleeting trends, and the constant pull of consumerism, it’s easy to lose control of our wardrobes. Many of us open our closets daily and feel overwhelmed — stuffed hangers, clothes we haven’t worn in years, and a nagging feeling of “nothing to wear.” But what if there’s more to organizing your closet than just making space?

Sorting, editing, and being truly mindful and intentional with your closet organization can create a ripple effect that transforms your lifestyle, your mental well-being, your wallet, and even your environmental impact.

1. Clarity and Mental Calm: A Decluttered Space = A Decluttered Mind

Your physical environment is often a mirror of your mental state. A chaotic, overflowing closet can unconsciously add to daily stress. You begin your mornings feeling rushed and indecisive, digging through piles and hangers, often leaving the closet frustrated.

By sorting and editing your closet, you create a calm and intentional space. Everything in it has a purpose and a place. The act of choosing an outfit becomes less about stress and more about self-expression. You’ll find that a simplified closet makes choosing an outfit SO much easier, and the morning gets off to a better start.

2. Discovering and Refining Your Personal Style

One of the most satisfying outcomes of a thoughtful closet edit is the realization of what you actually love to wear. When you take the time to analyze what pieces make you feel confident and comfortable — and let go of those that don’t — your personal style begins to emerge more clearly.

You stop buying clothes that don’t serve you just because they’re on sale or trendy, and you begin curating a wardrobe that reflects you. This self-awareness fosters a stronger sense of identity and authenticity.

3. Saving Time and Reducing Decision Fatigue

The average person spends countless hours each year deciding what to wear. When your closet is organized and edited down to what you actually wear and love, this daily ritual becomes streamlined.

You’ll spend less time searching, matching, or second-guessing. A mindful closet often operates like a capsule wardrobe: fewer items, but more combinations. Your mornings become smoother, your routines tighter, and your energy preserved for bigger decisions.

4. Financial Benefits: Buy Less, Buy Better

Closet clarity often leads to spending clarity.

Once you understand what works for you and what doesn’t, you’ll begin shopping with more intention. Instead of impulse buying or accumulating similar pieces, you’ll seek quality over quantity, investing in items that last and make you feel great.

This shift often leads to fewer but better purchases, reducing waste and unnecessary spending. Over time, your bank account thanks you.

5. Environmental Impact: A More Sustainable You

The fashion industry is one of the largest polluters in the world. Fast fashion, in particular, contributes heavily to landfill waste, water pollution, and unethical labor practices.

Being intentional with your closet means being more conscious of your consumption. You’ll likely find yourself repurposing, donating, or upcycling more often. You’ll buy only what you need, prioritize ethically-made garments, and reduce your personal textile waste. I have educated myself on ethical and local companies that prioritize the garments and their manufacturing and impacts, and as more often than not these sustainable brands are a little dearer than fast fashion high street, I look out for specials, sales, and certainly don’t overlook second-hand opportunities.

NZ and Australian Brands I enjoy are: KowTow, Untouched World, Moochi, Marlow, ELK, WE-AR and Assembly Label.

We recently introduced a “Clothes Schwap” element to my book group, so we gave items we were tired of or that no longer served us and happily exchanged them amongst ourselves. ANything not re homes was donated with no hard feelings- I came away with a ‘new’ black skirt I LOVE!

6. Emotional Healing and Letting Go

Clothing holds emotional weight — the dress from a past relationship, the jeans that no longer fit, the blazer from a job you hated. Sorting through your closet can become a surprisingly emotional and cathartic experience.

Letting go of clothing that no longer serves you is a way of releasing what no longer fits your life, and it frees up space too!

7. Increased Gratitude and Presence

When you intentionally organize your closet, you become acutely aware of what you own — and what you actually use. This cultivates gratitude.

You start appreciating each piece more deeply: the story behind it, the quality, the versatility. You become present with your wardrobe, mindful of how each garment makes you feel, how it fits into your life, and how it reflects who you are right now.

This gratitude spills over into other areas of life, inviting more mindfulness in daily routines, relationships, and consumption habits.

8. Inspiring Other Areas of Your Life

Once you experience the benefits of a well-organized closet, it’s common to feel motivated to tackle other areas of your life. The mindset of clarity, intentionality, and simplicity can influence your kitchen, your digital files, your schedule, and even your relationships.

In a way, your closet becomes a gateway to larger life transformation. It teaches you to prioritize what truly matters, to recognize clutter (in all forms), and to move through life with more purpose and presence.

Tips for Getting Started

Start small: Dedicate just 30 minutes to one section (shoes, tops, jeans).
Sort by category: Create piles — keep, donate, sell, unsure.
Ask yourself honest questions: Does this fit? Do I love it? Have I worn it in the last year?
Be gentle but firm: Letting go isn’t easy. It’s okay to feel conflicted — but stay committed to your goal.
Reorganize with intention: Use boxes, dividers, or labels that make finding and maintaining order easy.

Final Thoughts

A mindful, edited, and organized closet is far more than a tidy space. It’s a reflection of who you are, what you value, and how you move through the world. It offers you clarity, confidence, calm, and control — one hanger at a time.

The Blackbird’s Way: Finding Contentment in the Everyday

Sat, 12 Jul 2025 02:14:00 GMT

This morning, as the sun broke over the treetops in a watery golden hush, a little earlier every day as we pass the winter equinox, I heard it- the fluting call of a blackbird. Not a rare sound, but one so woven into the rhythms of home that it caught me mid-step. There, perched confidently on a bare branch, its song seemed to hold everything I’ve been feeling lately: a quiet joy, a grounded familiarity, and the kind of peace that doesn’t demand fanfare.

The common blackbird (Turdus merula) might not turn heads like a kingfisher or dazzle like a bird of paradise. But that’s precisely what I love about it. It’s ordinary, yet its song can stop you in your tracks. It thrives in gardens, hedgerows, parks, wild bush tracks and city corners — adapting, enduring, serenading the world from the backdrop of daily life.

This past week has been all moody skies and mercurial weather — a little sun, a lot of rain, a few sudden downpours to keep things interesting. Friends have escaped to sun-drenched beaches, chasing warmth and blue skies. But I’ve stayed put, wandering the same footpaths with damp boots and a grateful heart.

There is a certain magic in not needing to flee, in savoring each season as it comes- winter included. I love breathing in the sharp, rain-sweetened air and watching the trees shift through their cycle. Even when the light is low and the clouds sit heavy, there is beauty waiting if we’re willing to look for it.

It’s easy to forget, in a world obsessed with the extraordinary, that joy often hides in the simplest things. A blackbird’s song. The steam from a mug warming cold hands. The crunch of gravel underfoot on a solitary morning walk. The way a patch of sunlight lands on the wall and transforms the whole room.

In those moments, I’ve found a kind of contentment that doesn’t come from grand adventures or perfect weather. It’s the kind that comes from noticing, and choosing to see what’s already here.

Like the blackbird, I’m learning to sing my song regardless of the season, and to savor the everyday rather than endure it. Perhaps that’s all everyday contentment is….

Small Shifts, Big Gains: The Truth About Healthy Eating in a Processed World

Sun, 06 Jul 2025 07:50:00 GMT

Choosing healthy food these days can feel like wading through a maze of bold health claims, flashy packaging and ever-changing nutrition advice. But often, the simplest choices are the best- and they’re usually the ones that have been around the longest.

The Power of Tiny Changes

Healthy eating doesn’t require an extreme overhaul. In fact, it’s often the smallest daily choices that lead to the biggest long-term benefits. Swapping out processed snacks for a handful of nuts, choosing water instead of soda, or adding one more serving of vegetables to your day may not seem revolutionary—but repeated over time, these actions lay the foundation for lasting health.

Whole Foods Over Health Claims

Any food that loudly announces its health benefits—“high-protein,” “low-fat,” “sugar-free,” “enriched with vitamins”—should raise a red flag. Why? Because real, whole foods don’t need a sales pitch. They’re naturally packed with the nutrients your body needs and haven’t been stripped, altered, or reassembled in a factory.

Many of these “healthy” processed foods are ultra-processed—meaning they’ve been broken down and reconstituted with additives, sweeteners, flavorings, and preservatives. Despite the health halo on the packaging, they’re often a far cry from anything your body recognizes as nourishment.

Our Bodies Were Built for Simplicity

For most of human history, we drank water. Maybe milk, occasionally, after infancy. Honey was the only sweetener widely available for thousands of years—and it was rare and treasured. Today, sugar (and worse—highly concentrated artificial sweeteners) is hidden in nearly everything.

Modern food is engineered to be “hyper-palatable”- a perfect storm of salt, sugar, fat and crunch designed to override hunger as much as satisfy it. You’re not weak for overindulging; the food was built to make you do exactly that. Whole foods—an apple, a boiled egg, some steamed broccoli—don’t come with this trickery. They nourish you and then they stop.

Beware of “Free” Labels

Labels like sugar-free, fat-free, or diet can be misleading. Take diet soda: while it may not contain sugar, artificial sweeteners can still trigger your brain into reacting as though sugar is present—releasing insulin, increasing cravings, and contributing to the very blood sugar swings you’re trying to avoid.

Similarly, fat-free yoghurts often compensate with added sugar or thickeners to make up for lost texture and flavour- a bait-and-switch, and your health pays the price.

Shop the Perimeter

You’ve probably heard the tip: shop the outer aisles of the grocery store. That’s where you’ll usually find the fresh produce, meats, dairy, and other whole foods. The centre aisles are packed with boxes and bags—long shelf lives, short on real nutrition.

Start Here, Today

You don’t need a complicated plan. Start with one small habit:

Drink more water—add lemon or cucumber if plain water doesn’t excite you.
Eat one more vegetable every day.
Choose whole grains over refined.
Swap one packaged snack for a piece of fruit or some raw nuts.

These tiny changes compound. Over weeks and months, they rewire your habits, shift your taste preferences, and improve your energy, digestion, and mood.

The Bottom Line

Health doesn’t come from a package- it comes from simple, consistent choices, from trusting your body more than the marketing, and from choosing food that looks like it came from nature rather than a lab.

Taking responsibility for living your life fully, as only you can

Wed, 02 Jul 2025 08:35:00 GMT

Take Responsibility for Living Fully—Because “Later” Is Never Promised

We don’t always know when we’re doing something for the last time.

The last time we hear someone laugh, walk a familiar path, get to say “I love you”, or get a chance to choose joy.

And yet, we live most of our lives like we’ve got all the time in the world. We postpone dreams, delay forgiveness, put off joy for a “better time”- a day when things are less chaotic, less busy, more perfect. But that day may never come.

Taking responsibility for living your life fully means recognizing that this moment is all you truly have. It’s a call to live now, and to be brave enough to choose joy, even in the middle of the mess.

Let’s be honest: embracing each moment is far harder to do than it is to write about. Life is complicated. Some days are hard. Some moments feel impossible to embrace, much less savor. But living fully doesn’t mean forcing fake happiness. It means showing up, even on the hard days, with honesty and courage.

It means:

Telling people you love them now, not just assuming they know.
Saying yes to things that light you up, even if they scare you.
Using the good plates, wearing the nice perfume, burning the fancy candle.
Making ordinary days feel like enough—because they are enough.

Stop Saving Joy for “Someday”

“Someday” is a thief. It robs you of the joy you could be living today.

We save joy for when we lose weight, pay off the debt, find the right partner, get the promotion, or finally feel “ready.” But what if those milestones never arrive? Or what if they do—and you’re so used to waiting that you forget how to receive?

Joy doesn’t belong in the future. It belongs in the now. In the quiet morning coffee. The impromptu dance party in the kitchen. The walk in the park. The shared laugh. The messy, beautiful, real moments that make up a life.

You Are Responsible for Your Aliveness

No one can live your life for you. And no one owes you the permission to start fully living it. That part is on you.

So if you’re waiting for a sign, this is it:

Call the person.
Take the trip.
Forgive them.
Forgive yourself.
Say how you feel.
Wear the thing that makes you feel alive.
Let people in.
Write the book.
Sign up for that uni paper.
Apply for the job.
Make your life feel like it’s worth living—because it is.

Every moment is a “last” in disguise. You may not know when, where, or how. But you do know that now is all you’ve got. So don’t wait to feel alive—choose to be.

Live today, love often, and be brave.

And stop saving your joy for later.

Savoring the Seasons: A Gentle Reminder to Slow Down

Fri, 27 Jun 2025 19:40:00 GMT

It’s hard to believe we’re already halfway through the year. Somehow, the weeks keep folding into months with surprising speed, and yet again I find myself pausing to take note of where we are- both in time and in season.

For those of us in the Southern Hemisphere, it’s winter now. While the chill is milder than years past, we’re still layering up: pulling out our wooliest merino, wrapping ourselves in trench coats and scarves, and watching as breath fogs in the early morning light. But the strange beauty of this time is the awareness that elsewhere—perhaps where much of our family and friends reside—it’s the height of summer. Blistering heat, sun-drenched beaches, and ripe berries bursting on vines.

It’s a contrast that always encourages me to check in with myself, to pause, and to take stock not just of the weather, but of the pace I’ve fallen into. It’s easy to get swept up in longing- wishing for warmer days, lighter clothes, longer evenings. But I’ve come to realise that this ache for another season, another pace, is really just a reminder to savour the now.

Because soon enough, we’ll be reaching for those airy linen shirts and floaty summer dresses. We’ll wait until the sun dips low to go walking, biting into juicy peaches and plums, and planning weekends at the beach. That time will come. Just as surely as the rain falls today and the morning light arrives later than we’d like.

So while I love seeing sun-soaked posts from across the globe- images of turquoise seas, overflowing farmers markets, and “beach bag essentials”- I’m also gratefully soaking up this moment. I’m sipping hot lemon water made with a lemon gifted from a colleague’s tree. Outside, the rain drums softly on the roof and trickles from the gutters. Inside, there’s the hush of a cozy morning, punctuated only by the gentle tap of my keyboard.

It’s a reminder that each season brings its own rhythm and its own gifts. The golden glow of summer, yes- but also the slow simmer of winter, the introspection, the nesting, the joy of soup bubbling on the stove and the comfort of wrapping yourself in something warm.

To wish away winter because it’s cold or dark is, in some small way, to wish away our days. And our days are what make up our years- our lives. They’re all here to be lived, savored, and celebrated for what they are. Not what we want them to become.

So whether you’re soaking up sun or watching raindrops race down the windowpane, I hope you find time to slow down and savor the season you’re in.

Unhurried Minutes: Finding Magic in the Everyday

Wed, 25 Jun 2025 08:48:00 GMT

A midweek thought to ponder;

Life seems to spin ever faster- schedules tight, notifications never sleeping- and I find there is something rather lovely about choosing to slow down, to pause, to give yourself what I call unhurried minutes, moments carved out of the chaos where you simply… are.

These are not hours of indulgence or whole days off the grid. They are little choices- a breath, a step slowed to admire a flower cracking through the concrete, a gaze tilted skyward to remember that the clouds keep drifting, no matter your to-do list. When we take time to lift our faces to the sky, we allow the weight of hurry to drain from us, if only for a heartbeat. But oh, what a precious heartbeat that is.

We live so much of our lives in the “next.” The next task, next deadline, next scroll. But life doesn’t exist in the next, it exists in now. And now is often quiet. It’s the warm mug in your hand. The sun sliding across your living room floor. The sound of a loved one’s laughter echoing down the hallway. The feel of your own chest rising and falling, reminding you that you are here. Still here.

Unhurried minutes give us space to alter our perspective. We stop seeing the world as a series of obligations and start noticing the little wonders in it instead. Slowing down doesn’t mean giving up productivity; it means reclaiming your attention, which is the most precious thing you own.

So what would happen if, just once today, you chose not to rush? If you lingered at the window a moment longer? If you really tasted your coffee, listened to the birds, smiled at a stranger, or watched how the light hits the wall just right?

These aren’t throwaway moments. They are the glorious gems hidden in plain sight. When you learn to celebrate the little things, your whole world becomes brighter- not because your circumstances change, but because you notice more.

It’s ok to slow down- the world will keep turning.

Unhurried minutes may not be long, but my goodness they hold some of the richest parts of life.

An adventure not yours to take: A Mama allowing her baby to soar, and reach for her dreams

Fri, 20 Jun 2025 23:45:00 GMT

The house is quiet this morning, but it’s a different kind of quiet. It’s the quiet before the storm, I suppose- before a big, brave adventure that isn’t mine to take, but one that my heart is so tied to. Later today, we’ll drive my daughter to the airport, and she’ll get on a plane to Peru for two weeks of volunteering.

And my heart… well, it’s a messy mix of things.

I look at her, so full of courage and a little bit of that wide-eyed fear, and I am just so incredibly proud. But then there’s this other feeling, this deep, maternal ache of anxiety for the unknown. For her safety, for her heart, for all the things a mother worries about when her child steps out into the big wide world without her.

It’s funny, isn’t it? How life comes full circle. I remember being her age, so ready to take on the world, so focused on my own journey. I remember the thrill of my own adventures, the feeling of standing on the edge of something new and exciting. And I honestly don’t think I gave my own parents’ feelings a second thought. It wasn’t out of malice, it was just… the glorious and necessary selfishness of youth. Your world is all about you, as it should be in that season. You don’t really understand the other side of that goodbye hug.

But now, I understand.

Last night, she crawled into our bed, her voice trembling a little, “What was I thinking? I’m just panicking.” And oh, my heart. I remember that feeling so vividly. That stomach-lurching moment when the reality of your decision sets in, when you feel like you’ve made a huge mistake but you’re committed, you’re on the path and there’s no turning back. I remember sobbing in my own mothers bed before a big trip, overwhelmed by the sheer size of what I was about to do.

It’s terrifying, that feeling- and it’s right, it’s part of it.

Of course, she will get on that plane today. Her spirit is too bright and her heart is too good not to. She will do this brave, wonderful thing.

And I will watch her go, holding all of my own messy feelings. The pride, the fear, the memories of being the one leaving, and the reality of now being the one left behind. It’s the rhythm of life, I suppose. This constant letting go, this stretching of the heartstrings.

These are the days… the ones that are hard and beautiful all at once. The ones where you see your children becoming the amazing people they were meant to be, and you realise your job is shifting from protector to supporter. And you know what? It’s a gift. A true GIFT, even with all the worry. To stand back and watch them fly.

Tuning the instruments in your very own symphony

Fri, 20 Jun 2025 08:22:00 GMT

In this life, each of us is both the composer and the instrument of our own symphony. We tune ourselves daily- some days sharp, others flat- but always striving towards harmony. But to truly play our song, to truly live and interact in rhythm with the world, we must ask: What is our source? What is our essence?

Your source is not the job title, the degree, or the social role you’ve been assigned. These can be useful costumes, but they aren’t your essence. Your source is that quiet, unshakable presence beneath it all—the part of you that existed before the world told you who you should be. That essence often whispers rather than shouts. It doesn’t impose, it invites. It speaks through instinct, curiosity, and a sense of what feels deeply right.

To live from this essence is to reject the rigidity of false identities. It is to drop the mask of ideology when it begins to constrict rather than expand. When we cling too tightly to identities—political, cultural, professional—we become echoes rather than instruments. The music we play becomes someone else’s composition.

We don’t exist in a vacuum. We’re part of an orchestra. And just as instruments must tune not only to themselves but to each other, we must learn how to resonate in harmony with those around us. This doesn’t mean conformity. Harmony is not sameness. It’s about being in tune—holding our unique note while listening deeply to the music others are playing.

Compassion, clarity, presence—these are the keys to playing well with others. It’s how we turn dissonance into dialogue, how we recognize that the person in front of us is also a composition in progress, trying to tune themselves just like we are.

To play your part well, you must look after all aspects of yourself. A healthy body is not vanity—it’s a vessel. It carries the potential of a sharp, calm mind, and an open heart. Movement, nourishment, rest: these are not separate from spiritual or intellectual growth. They enable it.

But even more, we must cleanse our inner lives. Too often, we carry the past like a bag of broken instruments. Regrets, guilt, unprocessed anger—these are the weight that throw us out of tune. We cannot compose the future while dragging the debris of the past. Self-mastery means having the courage to look at what needs healing, and then doing the slow, honest work to restore yourself.

What is the purpose of all this tuning, all this refining? It’s simple: to pass on the best version of yourself to the next generation. When you take responsibility for your life and actively refine your instrument, you leave behind a clearer, stronger note in the human song.

Whether you’re a parent, a mentor, or simply a being who interacts with others—you influence the next wave. And the greatest legacy is not wealth or accolades, but a life that demonstrates alignment, awareness, and integrity.

The ethos of everyday contentment

Tue, 17 Jun 2025 03:07:00 GMT

In a world obsessed with constant striving- more success, more followers, more productivity- there’s a quieter way of living that doesn’t clamour for attention.

This is the ethos of everyday contentment: a gentle way of living rooted in presence, simplicity, and an appreciation for life’s most ordinary, beautiful moments.

Contentment is often misunderstood as settling or lacking ambition. But true contentment is not resignation—it’s a kind of wealth. Not the flashy kind that fills bank accounts, but the quiet abundance that fills the soul. It’s waking up and noticing the softness of morning light or taking time to savor the first sip of coffee like it’s a sacred ritual.

This way of living honors values that run deeper than material achievement. Gratitude. Slowness. Presence. Reverence for the small.

It’s hanging freshly washed laundry in the sunshine and feeling a deep, inexplicable peace as the breeze catches the fabric. It’s stepping outside barefoot, letting your toes touch the earth, and breathing in the scent of warm soil after a summer rain.

Simplicity is not about deprivation; it’s about clarity. It’s making space—physically, mentally, emotionally—for what truly matters. When we declutter our homes and schedules, we start to notice what we’ve been missing. We see beauty in the mundane: the soft whirr of a fan, the way sunlight filters through leaves, the rhythmic comfort of daily routines.

There’s a kind of artistry in living simply. It invites us to be intentional—to choose experiences over possessions, slowness over speed, depth over breadth.

It’s in the way we make our tea. The way we set a table, even if it’s just for ourselves. The way we pause to watch the sky turn golden in the early evening.

In a culture that equates happiness with highs and highlights, contentment is radical. It is not the fireworks of achievement, but the soft flicker of joy that comes from noticing.

It’s the warmth of a hand-knit sweater. The comfort of a dog curled at your feet. The sound of a favourite song in the background as you cook dinner. It’s not spectacular. It’s sacred.

When we train our attention to the small, we begin to see how much beauty we’ve been walking past. How much goodness lives in the in-between.

Ultimately, the ethos of everyday contentment isn’t a destination—it’s a way of tending to life with care and awareness. It’s about being here, fully, for the fleeting and the familiar.

To live this way is to believe that ordinary days hold extraordinary grace. That fulfilment isn’t found in grand gestures, but in the way we love what we already have.

So let the light pour through the window, let your coffee be warm, and let the laundry sway on the line. It’s all here- in the little things.

Gowns, corsages and manicures

Sat, 14 Jun 2025 20:31:00 GMT

Gowns, Corsages, and Manicures: The Rise and Fall of Everyday Elegance

I find something undeniably cinematic about preparing for a big event- a ball, a prom, a wedding. The ritual of selecting the perfect gown, pinning a corsage to your wrist, and sitting for a careful manicure feels like stepping into another time, one where the ordinary becomes extraordinary. These moments shimmer with anticipation and attention to detail, and though fleeting, they leave imprints on our memories. But what happens after the music stops and the bobby pins come out? What are we left with when the high of the event fades?

The Anticipation: A Glimpse of Something Bigger

Preparation is half the magic. In the days or weeks before an event, we build an emotional crescendo. We try on dresses in department store mirrors, deliberate over nail colors, and scroll Pinterest for updos that strike the right balance between classic and carefree. It’s how we signal to ourselves and others that something important is happening.

In everyday life, we crave these crescendos. Whether it’s preparing for a job interview, curating a birthday celebration, or even getting ready for a first date, the effort we put in becomes a manifestation of hope. We prepare not just to impress others, but to inhabit the best version of ourselves—if only for a night.

The Moment Itself: Peak Presence

When the night finally arrives, everything slows down and speeds up at the same time. The music swells, lights blur, and laughter bubbles up from places we didn’t know were tense. This is the moment we imagined during all the preparations. We’re fully present in our gowns and gloss, captured in candid photos and shared smiles.

There’s a strange kind of perfection in these moments, because we allow ourselves to be immersed in them. Much like the fleeting highlights of everyday life—surprising good news, a spontaneous road trip, or the shared quiet of a dinner with someone you love, a walk in nature—these events remind us what it feels like to truly be in a moment.

The Aftermath: The Come-Down

Eventually, the music ends. The gown is wrinkled at the hem, the corsage wilting, the manicure chipped. You take off your heels, wipe away the last trace of lipstick, and return to yourself—or maybe a slightly different version of yourself.

There is an emotional hangover that often accompanies the end of these high points. Like the morning after a holiday or the end of a great vacation, we’re reminded that life is cyclical. We can’t live at the peak, but we also wouldn’t want to. The specialness of these events depends on their transience.

This fall from the high doesn’t mean something went wrong; it means you felt something real.

Everyday Life as Ceremony and ritual

What if we viewed everyday moments with the same reverence we give to getting ready for a ball? The rituals we reserve for “special occasions” are accessible any time we choose to mark a moment as meaningful. Painting your nails on a Wednesday. Wearing your favorite perfume just because. Setting the table with candles even when dining alone.

Life is full of small peaks, and preparing for them—even if they’re self-declared—is part of what gives life texture. Just as we rise in excitement for grand events, we can also fall into the calm of reflection, the gentle return, the comforting mundane.

The gown is zipped up, the corsage tied on, and the heart swells in expectation. And then, like all good things, the moment passes.

You don’t need a ball, though. Sometimes the act of preparing for a treat- painting your nails on a Wednesday- is enough.

Gratitude for our many daily blessings and simple moments to savor

Fri, 06 Jun 2025 19:37:00 GMT

Just a short post today.

Reflecting on what we get to do each day, as opposed to what we feel we have to.

It’s all about a mindset. About reframing the to-dos and about creating space for your mind.

We too easily to get bogged down and preoccupied with all the myriad things we juggle and manage each day. Logistics of running a home/ family/ business as well as endeavouring to look after ourselves.

We need to truly cherish this time we have in our earth suits- these incredible bodies we have the gift of living in.

Tending to our well-being cannot be achieved without self-care. As busy people, we often allow guilt to creep in, in a culture where being as busy as possible is seen as the only route to success and positivity.

There is only so much most of us can keep piling on before we are no longer coping. Cracks appear, and essential pillars of wellbeing may weaken- sleep, diet, exercise, and rest. Even active rest- such as walking, or a craft you love, perhaps cooking or gardening or running. Whatever makes you feel nourished and energised, paired with human essential elements for a healthy , contented life.

This is not a guilty pleasure- it’s a necessity to living a full, rich life of contentment and compassion.

My daily walks- getting out in nature, looking up at the sky- encompassing sun, stars or pouring rain, is protecting and strengthening my mental health and clarity. It’s nourishing my soul, allowing reflections, ideas and inspirations to evolve and come to the surface. By letting myself get “lost” in nature, it helps me find myself again. Each day.

Observing what is around us, the shrubs, trees, seasonal blooms, wildlife and bird life, genuinely focusing on these beauties and treasures, savouring the moments and feeling pure, deep gratitude.

Gratitude and mindfulness are muscle that requires exercising just as any other muscle in order to strengthen them and grow.

Try starting your day tomorrow, after hopefully a deep and restorative sleep, with no expectations, only intentions.

No demands on yourself or others, just a heartfelt and genuine intention of how you wish the day to unfold, how you want to show up, how you would like to feel and make others feel, and notice all the tiny details and moments that make life so incredibly precious and magical.

A Weekend day is the perfect opportunity to try this out, so, early on this chilly morning where winter appears to have finally made an appearance around these parts, I’m sipping hot lemon water as the cold day outside my windows lightens.

Find and savour as many little moments as you can- the woodsmoke in pockets in the valley, the first sip of coffee, the deep purr of a warm kitty, fresh sheets on the bed, a fresh bloom. I promise, the more you tune in and start to feel genuine gratitude, slow down just a fraction and savour this preciouisness, you will notice more and more. It will become a natural and welcome habit.

The pillars of healthy glowing skin

Sat, 31 May 2025 20:59:00 GMT

Ever since my early teens, I have taken care of my skin. Enjoying the process and ritual of applying make-up over cleaned, primed skin in the mornings, and equally removing all traces in the evening and nourishing my face with good moisturisers overnight.

These routines have, of course, changed and developed over the years, depending on age, my skin’s requirements and my budget. Yet has always remained an intrinsic part of my daily habits, through less than sober bedtimes during my university years, to early motherhood, and now as I embrace my late forties.

But beauty isn’t only skin deep. It’s just as important to take care of ourselves in a more holistic way, in addition to cleaning, toning, moisturising and those elements we think of, we need to consider:

* Hydration

Keeping up the H20 is top of the list as I believe its the basis of good health. When we properly monitor and pay attention to our hydration, the benefits are many. Our blood transports nutrients and oxygen more efficiently, toxins are eliminated and expelled more rapidly, cognitive function improves, as does sleep, our body temperature regulates better, and hydrated akin has more elasticity, is plumper and tends to appear smoother and, yes, more youthful. And it’s free!

* products

I have one or two products that I have returned to many times over the years. These are ones I enjoy using and which my skin is happy with. I don’t have especially sensitive skin and thankfully, I’ve never been prone to breakouts even in my youth. The most significant change that has occurred on my skin has been the sensitivity and dryness around my eyes, attributed to hormones and perimenopause.

For decades now, Clarins has been a go-to that I know will deliver on quality, that I won’t react to and that always smells great. I am not into fragrance-free- I enjoy the feelings and sensations fragrance conjures up.

I tend to stick to their moisturisers, their mascara and almost exclusively their eye makeup remover.

La Roch Posay , is another faithful - their now iconic sun screen fluid has been in my bathroom drawer for close to 20 years and for the last several years he only eye cream I can use confidently is their Toleriane dermallegro. Affordable and gentle, and the one product I DO have with no fragrance as its used directly around the eyes.

Savon de Marseille. In my humble opinion, the holy grail of soaps. This classic olive green cube has been produced for almost 700 years! I always have one of the iconic blocks in my shower and by the bath- and usually a spare in the drawer. I wash my face with it every morning and the scent to me is just clean and no nonsense. As it has no fillers or nasties, it’s good for all skin types.

*Routine

Being consistent is key. While it’s nice to try new products once in a while and switch things out, the most important part is to have a routine that you stick to: cleanse skin twice daily. I wash my face as a freshen up each morning in the shower after my workout, but at night I remove all traces of makeup with a cleaning balm, then wash my face with a clarins clenser, then I tone every few nights, exfoliate every few nights (or mornings) and use a good eye cream, then a lighter moisteruiser in the day and a variety of moisturisers and night creams in the evening. I vary my nighttime routine with a facial oil and a heavier cream or serum. I never miss these steps. No matter how tired, sick, busy, rushed I may be- I honestly don’t think I have ever climbed into bed with the day’s makeup left on or not freshened up in a morning before the day kicks off.

The only ongoing issues I have now into my forties are the dry, sometimes painful and swollen skin around my eyes (I know attributed to stress, or a change in eye shadow… all my beautiful Bobi Brown ones set me off sadly) and my hyperpigmentation/melasma left over from my pregnancies.

*fresh air

Get outside! the is no blush or bronzer that can provide the warmth of a genuine (safely) sun-kissed glow or rosy cheeks from a bracing windy walk. Vitamin D and sunlight have been somewhat demonised - particularly here in the southern hemisphere as we sit under the hole in the ozone. But we still need some, just safely and in moderation. I’m not condoning tanning or baking, just let the sunlight touch your skin a little every day. It’s good for the soul, too.

*sunscreen

I grew up in the UK, holidaying in France or Cornwall usually. I’d spend entire days on beaches in my swimsuit, no hat, eating gritty, sandy baguette and playing in the shallows. No sunscreen! I vaguely remember some Ambre Solaire being handed around to those who wanted it- perhaps once over the course of a baking summer day. But that was it. I even went as far as sunbathing with coconut oil when I was in my senior years at school! YIKES!

Now we know better, and New Zealand and Australia are particularly pro sun protection - and have the battle wound to prove what happens otherwise! These days I wear sunscreen on my face every single day. La Roche-Posay Anthelios fluid 50+ is my go-to, but even my foundations have at least SPF15 in them. I up the anti in summer, but even in winter, I still have a level of protection. In the summer, I also apply to my body and any exposed places- And while I love to lie on a beach with a book and dip into the bubble waves, when I get too hot- I’d never consider it without at least a factor 30-50. As a family, we like the brand SUNBUM. It smells like holidays to us now.

*exercise

Let’s be honest, even if you were to apply all the tips and products above, and eat a well-balanced diet full of leafy greens, fruits and vegetables, minimal processed food and zero alcohol- if your body isn’t fit and healthy, your skin will remind you!

Move your body every single day- get the blood flowing, lubricate those joints and get a sweat on! We are designed to move, and as we all know, if we don’t use it, we lose it! I’m not saying you need to throw yourself into a back-breaking endurance workout routine and long-distance running, but daily movement incorporated as part of a sustainable lifestyle routine- yoga, a daily walk, a sport or dance class.

By moving our bodies daily, we increase blood flow, reduce stress, experience endorphines, flush toxins, promote collagen production AND improve our skin tone and texture. Win win!

So as I sit here on this early Sunday morning of a long weekend, my lemon water to hand and the sun streaming through the trees, I will leave you with these thoughts and recommendations and hope that some element here will speak ti you today and encourage you to pay a little more attention to an area you may be neglecting somewhat. I’m off to have a run and make some pizza dough.

Until next week

By practicing we will get better

Sat, 24 May 2025 22:14:00 GMT

As I type this morning, with the remnants of my strong black coffee beside me, I sit in a shaft of bright, beautiful sunlight that’s just reached the tree line in the valley and bathed the room I am sitting in a warm glow.

Its Sunday, and usually we are all up and out at various activities, commitments or sports, but today we are all home, my daughters are still fast asleep, the cats are breakfasted and enjoying the morning sniffs outside, and I am encouraging myself to have a slower morning.

It was a very full and busy week, but I still managed to fit in several long walks, on which I often listen to Podcasts. A phrase that kept weaving through my conscious and unconscious thoughts from one of these podcasts was “ By practising, we will get better.” I made a note on my phone as I walked with no reference to the show I was listening to, so I actually cannot credit the quote; however, it’s such a broad statement; it can be applied to so much.

In our busy lives, it’s easy to get overwhelmed or feel a little defeated if things don’t quite go to plan, to give up when the results we had envisioned don’t happen quickly enough, in our opinion and impatience. I myself am very much included! But small change frequently adds up to a big difference. We mustn’t allow ourselves to become disheartened so quickly- In our modern society, we have become so very impatient; we have become used to things being at our fingertips or available instantaneously- looking something up online rather than tracking to the library or asking someone who might know the answer. Googling a recipe, medical condition, pet behaviour, CV template- all within easy reach with little effort. This way of gaining information and performing tasks is only going to get more automated with the phenomenal developments in AI happening daily!

So, have we lost the art of patience and practice?

As children, we were taught to practice our penmanship, our times tables, our table manners, and our fine motor skills. These skills took years of daily effort.

I catch myself being impatient sometimes (Often!) over many incidentals- and I have to remind myself to take a step back, and let the process work, put in the investment of time - and effort- and then we see the improvement.

Perhaps knocked by a seasonal cold, I am so impatient to get back to my health and fitness level, wanting to literally run before I can walk. Or embarking on a healthier chapter after a lapse, and wanting to feel results straight away.

Or getting through the editing process of my book draft- even though I have a clear vision of the published version and I am so excited and impatient to get to that point, even though I am all too aware of the many steps before that point. exercising patience! And keeping focus.

Savouring simple daily pleasures- Curating a life of contentment also involves slowing down, daily practice, and small improvements, over time.

Instant gratification doesn’t usually serve us in the long run. We feel a sense of reward and accomplishment when we see the fruits of our labour. Even an arduous task can leave a satisfied sense of achievement once completed, but something really meaningful to us can truly fill our cups. Renewing a sense of self-worth and validation, and a glowing gift of attainment.

PRACTICE. A lost art in patience and time.

Good things take time, and we need to gently honour that- give yourself a little grace. Progress, not perfection. And occasionally, its necessary to move backwards- just a little- in order to fine-tune the direction, focus more clearly or just give ourselves pause to be fully grateful for what we have ALREADY.

Then, when we are ready, we move purposely forward again.

Choosing to embrace the joy, opportunity and newness change can bring

Sat, 17 May 2025 19:18:00 GMT

Embracing your Queenager as we navigate perimenopause: **

Lately, its occurred to me that while women- including myself and the vast majority of my peers- are embracing a new found comradery, extensive medical and nutritional information and support during their various menopausal stages, there is also an element of scaremongering which must be rather daunting for younger woman who are some years away from even thinking about this stage in their lives.

I remember as a young pregnant soon to be Mother, whishing people wouldn’t take such pleasure in telling me their horror birth stories- carrying a baby, growing a new human and wrapping your head around actually giving birth, let alone parenthood is so enormous- why do other women (And occasionally men too) take such alacrity in shocking you with all the gory details of their journey?!

SO, todays post is intended to put a fresh, positive spin on “the change” and whether you are in the throws of perimenopause, a twenty something sprightly thing, or an experienced seasoned “Queenager”, there is joy, beauty and energy to be found, and embraced in these transitional years.

I took a longer walk than usual this morning, the weather was just too glorious not to make the most of, and while I had a list of weekend chores to get stuck into, I was so, so happy to be out in the sunshine, savoring the beauty of a sparkling autumnal morning.

As I walked along at a brisk pace, it occurred to me, and not for the first time, that despite my advancing years, I can honestly say I have never felt stronger, fitter, more contented or so tuned into my true self than I do at this stage of my life. I had a literal spring in my step as I began to write this weeks post in my head , bursting with the desire to share the joy and vibrancy of, well, LIFE. Everydays. Seeking the things that bring us joy and not allowing ourselves to feel guilty for doing so.

Reaching our late forties and early fifties is not how it was in my grandmothers day, we are not past it, soon to retire, pinny wearing, blue rinsed fuddy duddys! (Nor was my grandmother but you get the sentiment) We are the tip of the spear of social change in this developing society- women at this stage in life are just coming into their prime- with experience, knowledge and a deeper understanding of who they are and their self-worth. while there is still along way to go in terms of gender equality, we have forged new paths that our courageous daughters will expand and fortify.

I like to imagine entering the perimenopause as a wintering- but after winter comes spring. And we get to have another season, another glorious spring- if we take care of ourselves, listen to our bodies and trust our inner compass.

So yes, the years of perimenopause can be tough for many women, myself included, and it may involve over coming challenges we’ve never had to face- sleepless nights, hot flashes, and anxiety- we can absolutely come through it, and even have many moments of joy and happiness while we navigate the stormy waters of hormone fluctuation. Reassured that is isn’t taboo to mention it now, there are facilities, resources and support out there from homeopathic drops to good diet, friendships to HRT- and through this journey you’ll find an inner strength and fierceness you didn’t know you possessed. And in those darkest of wintry moments is when the new shoots of spring, and promise, reach out their vibrant green tendrils and seek the light and warmth of the sun. Think of pruning and cutting back your shrubs and perennial plants, getting rid of the dead wood and straggly stems, to allow for new fresh growth.

The wintering is maybe only our body’s way of restoring and regenerating so that we are ready, equipped and energized for the next chapter- or season-of our lives. Post menopausal- which may yet be half our life still to lead! Certainly not the beginning of the end!

We owe death a living first- surely!? Think of all the wonderful pioneering women paving the way before us, making it ok to age, that wrinkles can be beautiful, grey hair attractive, and that life after 50 can be even more fun, fulfilling and meaningful that the previous years even.

So, while I absolutely advocate and encourage you to be informed, and knowledgeable about what your bodies going though, how to make that transition as smooth as possible for you personally and how to equip yourself to deal with the bumpy bits as best you can- don’t fear it. Its puberty in reverse but its kind of even better. we get to rediscover ourselves all over again with the maturity and experience to embrace it, savor it and then fully and completely and unapologetically live it.

Picture a ski slope with all the Criss cross tracks and groves cut into the snow by a day’s activity of all those skis and boards travelling down it until dusk. Now picture a thick, powdery silent dump of fresh snow, covering all those trails so that come morning, nothing but deep fresh pristine powder is visible. Yesterday’s tracks are still underneath, but you get to carve out a fresh path and cut through that beautiful glistening powder however you wish to first- today.

Don’t fear this stage of your life, and don’t let others scare you into dreading it. Embrace this part of the journey, learn, become informed, read, share, give yourself space to change and permission to forge your own pathways.

Savor the joys and the little things along the way and enjoy creating the life you want to live each day. Secure, grounded and vibrant in the space you occupy as the best version of you yet.

Good diet isn't accidental

Thu, 08 May 2025 21:32:00 GMT

I’ve talked frequently on this blog about the benefits of meal planning and leaning toward healthy eating. A simple weekly pleasure I enjoy as part of my weekend reset is planning the evening meals for the week, and making sure I also have the ingredients to hand for nutritious and satiating healthy breakfasts and lunches for me and my family. I sit down, usually with my planner and look through the various activities and commitments during the week ahead and plan meals around them accordingly- some super quick and easy if we are rushing out the door or have a short window between activities and others a little more relaxed and leisurely.

This serves several purposes:

Being organised in this way helps to prevent food waste as you tend to stick to what’s on the list for specific meal ingredients, rather than buying things that just look good or are appealing. There can certainly be wriggle room- switching out various seasonal vegetables and fruits or cuts of meat etc, but the general plan remains.

It helps to sick to a budget rather than buying on a whim- food costs these days are sky high and climbing, and while I am pretty vigilant at sticking to the list , we do eat well, and our grocery bills are pretty substantial- Often requiring a top up of a few bits through the week like fresh salads, or milk and bread. (The last two for the kids rather than my husband and me)

It prevents that 5.30 pm stress of not knowing what’s for dinner and scrambling.

And equally importantly, sticking to a healthy meal plan- you just can’t wing it out there! The outside world simply isn’t set up to accommodate our healthy eating goals. Temptation is EVERYWHERE, and even if you are trying to make good choices and keep on track, often ordering out comes with so many hidden ingredients and extras, in conjunction with the impulse to indulge further- fries with that? Would you like to see the dessert menu?

We all know its not wise to do your grocery shopping when you’re famished- just as much as its a good idea to stock the things you want to eat at home so that meal prep is a breeze and your never left standing in front of an open refrigerator dipping into a box of crackers…or worse!

You can still have a little fleexibility- for instance, if you decide you’ll buy 5 different sources of protein, so you can pick one each night rather than sticking to a rigid plan, double one for leftovers and then at the end of the week make a giant “Pot Luck” salad or frittata, pair each meal with a selection of the vegetables and salad ingredients you bought and maybe have a (relative) treat night once a week- maybe its always homemade pizza on Friday so you prep the dough that morning ready to go, and have your toppings on hand in the fridge. Inevitably a healthier choice than takeout, and you know exactly what’s in it. Plus, you can tailor it to accommodate your family- Gluten free, no olives etc.

Does any one else start the day feeling disciplined and fully in control, you prepare your smoothie, or over night oats or whatever it might be, then you eat your salad at lunch which is protein heavy to keep you full, then home for the evening….and boy if I don’t fall off the wagon at 5pm after a walk while Im preparing dinner I sure as heck cling on for dear life after dinner if a sugar craving sets in- so plan for those too! Stressors affect our hormones, which in turn affect how we burn and process calories for fuel too. After a bad night’s sleep, I’m always more hungry and inevitably crave carbs, sugar, and a sprinkle of salt.

Good Diet isn’t accidental.

We need to be conscious of it, make informed decisions, and keep working on it. We have to work to change, but we also have to work to maintain to a certain extent. Celebrate working toward and achieving your personal milestones- reaching a week with no sugar, quitting snacking after 6 pm, putting sleep first, and making it a priority, whatever it might be for you. Pat yourself on the back- you’re doing it against the many challenges and roadblocks.

We get attached emotionally to our food - it holds memories, nostalgia, tradition or ceremony. And this is fine, provided it’s occasional. What’s less fine is throwing yourself into the latest diet or regimen when you are not willing to let go of your current eating habits.

There is conflicting advice EVERYWHERE, we are bombarded by information. Much of it is science-backed and endorsed by some health expert or nutritionist. But really, we just need to find a balance that works for us. We already know what’s not a good choice. We know we should be eating more fiber, fruits, vegetables, good proteins,and a little good fat. We know we should shop around the edges of the supermarket and avoid the middle aisle. We know its preferable not to consume anything from a packet or a box or with a barcode. The reality is, most of us will, sometimes, just as we will indulge in a decadent dessert at a restaurant, some french fries shared over lunch, A slice of birthday cake, an ice cream wandering beachside just because. And so we should! Life is to be enjoyed, and these moments are to be savoured. Just not too frequently. As long as we educate ourselves and make conscious and mindful choices, the 5% we indulge shouldn’t be enough to derail our efforts.

And if you’re only just starting to educate yourself and begin a journey towards a healthier you, give yourself some grace. You can’t do it all at once- consistency is key. Dont let the ego come into play either- much like deciding your going to go to the gym, and go from nothing to 6 days a week lifting heavy- you’re not designed to adapt that quickly and the most likely out come is an injury where you will experience a set back that may de rail your good intentions entirely. Start at a manageable place FOR YOU. If that means 5 reps, 3 sets of a 3-kilo dumbbell, then a walk. That’s great! Do it again tomorrow. Gradually increase as your strength builds and your knowledge of proper form develops, and keep going. It’s a lifelong investment.

As with food, if you’re currently on a diet of Uber Eats and Door Dash and a tub of Ben & Jerry’s at 10 pm, start with a manageable plan. Clear out the pantry of foods that won’t serve your goal (Easier said than done if you have a family or share a home- I get it!) Make a list and create a meal plan. But make it realistic. Maybe a good place to start is smaller portions, no snacking, and prioritizing a good sleep routine.

We have to work to change AND maintain. Quick fixes aren’t a solution.

Once you get over the initial hurdle, and yes, cravings, you’ll start to feel energised by your decision making and will power- it will get easier and your body will thank you for it.

If it helps, try one of the many food tracker apps- just don’t take it too seriously. I use an Oura ring in conjunction with My Fitness Pal, just to keep me mindful and on track. Orinionally it was a learning curve as you start to become famililar with the nutritional values- or lack there of of foods you frequently consume, now I can probay tell you most of them off the top of my head but I still like to be accountable and feel empowered by the data it provides so I dont veer off course too wildly for too long. Last night, I had a bowl of hot cross bun ice cream I remembered was tucked away in the freezer from Easter- I even topped it with pecans and a drizzle of maple- can you imagine!!!! So today, I was hungrier earlier due to the sugar dump before bed. I listened to my body as I’m also not 100% with a bit of a head cold. I ate a good, nutritionally balanced and protein-rich breakfast two or three hours earlier than I would normally. That way I hope to reset a little, and will look at making a nice big salad around noon to keep me on track. I haven’t had coffee today, which is rare, as I am nursing a headache and just didn’t want stimulants.

Now though, as the rain pours outside, I’m going to put on some laundry and make some gluten-free pizza dough ready for a cosy Friday night home with all of us in for Pizza and a movie. (I might go heavy on the salad and light on the pizza after yesterday’s indulgences, and I’m going to investigate what’s left in the fridge to get inspired before I do a grocery shop!)

Petits Plaisirs- Little Joys

Sat, 03 May 2025 09:25:00 GMT

I had planned to get into a deeper dive into nutrition and a few gems and lessons I’ve learned along my journey so far.

However, its been a huge week in our household, and several events gave me pause to take a long look and truly evaluate all I appreciate and value in my everyday.

So here are a few thoughts and ponderings of Petits Plaisirs I am fortunate to experience, and savor, in my everyday. These little jewels are such a poinignant reminder of the preciousness of life, and the abundant joys within it.

The communal garden thrush.

I adore these perky little birds. Their song is so uplifting and pure when they are in the trees or in flight, but they are poised, quiet and watchful when busily looking for a juicy worm or scratching in the dust. Their posture lengthening their necks as their beady eyes watch me, admiring their plump, flecked breasts.

Toadstools

We have had a lengthy period of very wet, mild weather—perfect for mushrooms to sprout! Ever since I was a little girl, toadstools of all shapes and sizes have been fairy villages to me. I would get lost in my imagination of the tiny worlds tucked away in the cluster of delicate, spongy, velvety softness. I still find them enchanting and can’t pass them on a walk without peering closely and, usually, snapping a picture.

Morning routine

Weekend or weekday, the ritual of being the first downstairs (Usually), drinking down a tall glass of water, brewing a strong coffee and greeting the cats, who patiently await their breakfast and to be let out- honoring their own rituals too, of grooming one another as I prepare their food. Albie patiently waiting to clean up whatever his sister leaves in her dish, and then wait to be let out to assume their positions on the deck during their morning ablutions. I find it so rewarding and grounding to start my day in such a peaceful way, with two fury bals of energy and love…. and great coffee.

After Dinner Kitchen Reset

It’s not so much that I enjoy doing the dishes after dinner, but I do enjoy restoring order to the kitchen. Making sure everything is clean and put away and calm and in its place, ready for a new day. I usually involuntarily let out a deep sigh when I finally hang the dishtowel up and admire the empty countertop and scrubbed sink. Then its time for peppermint tea.

Daily walks

I’ve always walked a lot- even when I was at Grammar School, I belonged to a hiking club where we’d go tracking over the Brecon Beacons and various parts of perpetually damp and beautiful Wales at weekends. I think if I was to pinpoint a time it became an essential daily ritual for body and mind, It would probably be during the Pandemic. I’d get my work done for the day, no doubt the bread would be proving or the baking cooling, and at around 2pm every day I would go for a walk - regardless of the weather. It was something I looked forward to and increased in duration over several weeks. These walks became a lynchpin of my days, and the habit and pleasure has continued.

Fresh Sheets

Not daily- although wouldn’t that be nice! But a weekend pleasure is climbing into fresh sheets after a bath or a shower with my book, and if I’m lucky, a cat.

Makeup

I actually really enjoy applying my makeup in the morning. I find it quite creative, and it feels like I am ready for whatever the day has in store. I also enjoy the pleasure of removing it at night and taking a hot shower when everything is tidied up and done for the day.

Breakfast

I think it has to be my favorite meal of the day, and on a more leisurely morning, I love creating a nutritious smoothie, garnishing it would something crunchy and good, or plating up a beautifully balanced bowl of yoghurt and berries, or a sumptuous and decadent stack of pancakes drizzled with maple. Its such a treat on the handful of evenings a year that, for whatever reason- perhaps after lunch out and a matinee theatre performance, or an extra long day- Indulge in breakfast for dinner!

Mowing the lawns

The scent of the just-cut grass, the company of the cats making sure I keep the standards up, and the enormous satisfaction of seeing them all trim and tidy with the fresh scent still lingering.

Pillowy Pizza Dough

I don’t make this daily, but certainly regularly. When Ive been organised to make the dough early in the morning and let it prove all day while we are out- the yeasty smell permeates the house in the afternoon, then I lift the teatowel that’s been covering it and punch down the pouffy dome. So satisfying.

Sunrises

In fact, make that sunrises, sunsets and clouds. Im an unapologetic sky gazer- the ever-changing beauty and vastness is utterly captivating.

Impulsive versus compulsive shopping

Sat, 26 Apr 2025 09:19:00 GMT

I have a little confession- just between you and I….

I feel like having scraped through my No Buy Year, I have entered into 2025 full steam ahead in the retail vicinity! As if I’d stored it all up, and now I’m a runaway train.

I know Im spending out of my budget, my family is commenting on the packages arriving constantly, I’m purchasing things on a whim or because I get in advertently snaggled by something that catches my eye on social media (Which I truly don’t spend much time on!) and then its like an itch I have to scratch. The minute you give that rabbit hole breathing room, the algorithms and advertising trends pounce. Then you turn on a separate device, and that same product pops up. It’s an absolute trap. One that many people, clearly, fall into, and it’s a tough climb back out.

I’m the woman who successfully curated a ten-item wardrobe for close to a decade. I have always loved shopping and clothes, and get huge satisfaction in putting together seasonal wardrobes - much of what I write about is from a style perspective.

But this is next level. And it’s escalated SO fast!

So why do we do it? What are we buying into?

Is it how we want something to make us feel?

Will Lululemon garments magically make us slimmer and fitter?

Its tricky- As I believe its a very fine line- In a way- yes they can- there is a little bit of magic involved in, say for example, purchasing a sleek and functional new workout wardrobe- that will help drive you, motivate you, and help you become that fitter, stronger version of your self. But spending $250 on a Lululemon lightweight top - which you can’t afford, simply because you’ve seen it looking great on an influencer…. not so much. You have to already be working on those goals and already set on the right trajectory for that kind of motivation to spur you on.

Not only does that influencer probably look great in anything, its highly likely that not only did they not purchase the items themselves, but that they are paid to wear them! This is truly not a criticism of their job or approach- its just a warning of getting too close to the honey pot.

Social media and having the world constantly at our fingertips have transformed “keeping up with the Joneses” within our neighbourhood, to keeping up with the international Joneses, where every shot is posed and every “effortless outfit” meticulously put together.

The way we shop is dramatically different, with the pandemic no doubt influencing the massive surge in online shopping. Now we are conditioned to browse stores from our armchairs- and can purchase and arrange delivery without even entering our card details or delivery address…..it remembers it ALL! So gone are the days of “going shopping” with a set budget as your budget was whatever CASH was in our purse- when you ran out, it was gone til next pay day. Shops closed at 5pm, many were closed one day or a half day in the week, and Nothing was open on Sundays. No credit cards, no Afterpay, no interest-free or lay-by! It’s so disconnected these days. As we sip our coffee, our face instructs our phones to process a payment for a top we didn’t know we needed or wanted! It’s the stuff Sci Fi was made of when we were kids!

A sad fact which is also becoming apparent, while I absolutely advocate for quality pieces, quality is not what it was. It used to be that if you paid a little more, you’d be rewarded in the quality- think woolens, cashmere, cotton, and workmanship, finishing details, seams, buttons, linings. These days it seems in so many disappointing cases, we shell out the extra in the faith it will be of a higher quality and last longer, and in reality, we are paying for the name and pretty packaging. To get a real quality difference, we have to pay a whole lot more.

A dear friend just finally bought a stunning pair of boots she’d been longing for and saving for they are top-end, timeless but classic, and exquisitely crafted. She will have them and love them for decades, I have no doubt. They are not fast fashion; they are traditionally designed and fabricated. These are not an impulse buy.

I spent out on a cashmere cardigan a few seasons ago. It was an investment, a classic style and colour. I have looked after it as I do all my clothing, but now it is so badly pilled and a little out of shape - yet I sunk several hundred dollars into it.

I guess the question is, do you love clothes or what they do for you- and women in general? I love what they can do for me in terms of how I feel and project myself, how I present and show up to my days, how they can evoke a mood or occasion, I love dressing up! Always have. But I love what they can do for me more than material accumulation.

Today, being Anzac day as I type, I wore a handcrafted Poppy brooch. I bring it out once a year, and tuck it away again that evening. It was made by a local lady many years ago, it has no monetary value, but it means a great deal to me. Who made it, the history and symbolism, and that when I pin it on, I am reminded throughout the day of the occasion, the sacrifice, and can feel the presence of my grandfather.

Its now the following day, I wasn’t feeling quite 100% so I had a quiet afternoon sorting out the gues room closet- from dozens of pairs of ballet shoes, a tangle of ballet stockings, dress ups, old school uniforms and a large (Growing ) pile of clothing items I have recently edited. Downstairs, I was still acutely aware of the giant leaning tower of Pisa-esqu stack of big glossy cookbooks I’d sorted to donate. So before my evening walk, I filled my car, drove to the local Goodwill/ Op shop/Charity shop, and donated the whole lot.

It Felt SOOOO good. So freeing! Not only was it generally clutter on that they were items not serving us any more, but it was such a nice feeling to know that they were all quality pieces in good condition, that someone will be thrilled to stumble upon, give a new home to and hopefully treasre for as long as they need them.

I now have a streamlined and organised guestroom closet, I know exactly what’s in it, and I am even more certain I don’t NEED anything else for a little while! (Other than cooler weather- all my winter coats are hanging in there too, waiting patiently.)

Plus, I’ve ticked off all the tasks and jobs I was hoping to complete over the Easter break, leaving me feeling organised, in control, and energised.

Perhaps tomorrow I need to do a bit of life admin and have a desk morning, so get my finances and appointments in order and plan the term ahead, ready for Monday.

Reframing your outlook

Fri, 25 Apr 2025 02:28:00 GMT

As we approach the end of the school vacation, if I’m really honest, I wasn’t looking forward to getting back into the “Daily grind” and all that comes with a busy family term-time schedule.

However, Ive been reminded in a couple of instances this past week of not only how precious and fleting life is, but also it is what we make of it- how we choose to navigate though it.

So while I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the slower pace at home over the last fortnight, I have decided to choose to reframe some of the current givens and musts during this particular season of my life.

What can I learn and challenge myself with during my working day? How can I be as good as possible at my job? How can I show up daily for my colleagues as a happy, obliging, and professional person? How can I remain unaffected by stressful situations or any conflict in my place of work if it doesn’t immediately involve me, steering clear of gossip?

When you change the way you look at things, things around you change.

I have just walked home from the local ANZAC service held annually outside the community hall. A moving ceremony in which we show gratitude, remembrance, honor, and support our communities and all the pillars and personalities that bond us all together. I have attended this service every year since we moved to the area, and know well, or am familiar with most of the faces surrounding the flagpole and wreaths to some degree, from babies to the very elderly.

I reflected as we stood there in the warm watery sunshine, how fortunate I am to be part of such a special place. That we all have our family stories, memories, traumas, and challenges, yet here we are, in a show of solidarity to the fallen all those years ago.

None of us know how long we have here- therefore we owe it to ourselves to live life to its fullest, be the best person we can be, love fiercely, and take care of our minds and bodies so that we give ourselves the best chance of remaining on earth with our loved ones for as long as we can.

This is not intended to be gloomy- more to serve as a reminder, to cherish what we have, and strive for our dreams. But in doing so, endeavoring not to overlook today, what opportunities and gifts we already are so fortunate to have.

I would dearly love to write full-time- as many of you know, my ultimate dream is to work from home on my books and take frequent walks with my dog.

Where I am now in my life and my job is firmly on that pathway- if I choose to view it like that, its all helping to serve me and enable me.

Without the work I do, I wouldn’t know so many stood around the flagpole today. Most of my dearest friends I may not have had a chance to meet, and certainly being enveloped in this special community is something I truly treasure.

Until our dreams and goals are realised, we mustn’t overlook that it’s likely where we are right now was only a dream to us 10, 15, maybe 20 years ago. To be a part of my community, to have raised a family here, to live in our beautiful home, and to feel the sense of belonging I do was a mere dream in my early 20’s. So while I eagerly anticipate the next chapter, I’m not skimming the current one.

It’s important we don’t mistake success for happiness- the two are not the same at all. Happiness can only come from within.

I am drawn to writing in a way that is hard to explain- I need to do it, I feel fulfilled when I do, and so thrilled and warm and glowy when I know something I have written has not only been read, but enjoyed or pondered upon. Perhaps even inspired or sparked a thought in a reader.

If your passion doesn’t serve people, it’s not a purpose. Use your passion in the service of others, and it becomes a purpose. Jay Shetty

The quote above was such an incredible Ah-ha moment for me. While I’m longing to have my books published and even to gain more readers here, the fact that I have touched some people means that it is a valid purpose; my readers want to read what I have to say as much as I want to write it for them.

Inspiration without action doesn't spark change

Sun, 20 Apr 2025 20:04:00 GMT

It’s the school holidays here, and as we are not out of town during the vacation this year, I like to use these weeks throughout the year to have a good old sort. Embark on some organisational projects and cleaning tasks that are too time and energy-consuming during the regular school and working weeks. I heard something the other day that made me chuckle to my self while out walking- an expert speaking to advice on cutting out sugar and other indulgesnces we know dont serve us said somehting along the lines of - we dont need another cook book on our shelves that tells us how to eleminate sugar from our diets, we already know this, we just need to put it into action. Another book won’t change that. A day or two prior to this, I had been through my large collection of cookery books and reorganised them in a different area of the kitchen and edited out probably a good 20 or so that I no longer reach for or are a little outdated.

This is so true! While I love to peruse a glossy cookbook at leisure, usually to draw inspiration from rather than follow to the T, No meal will be prepared from inspiration alone- I need to also begin the cooking process.

Inspiration without action doesn’t spark change

While inspiration is indeed a wonderful thing and a huge motivator, its value is fairly worthless without backing it up with action, at least eventually.

Many of us are bombarded with advice, recommendations, and others’ opinions daily- through colleagues, friends, television, printed media, and social media. There is so much noise out there, much of which either doesn’t apply to us or doesn’t align with us. It is up to us to create and honor a habit of asking ourselves,

“ Does this align with the life I am trying to create?”

Even if this is a topic or subject, or action that we have observed to be perfect for someone else - doesn’t mean it is right, relevant or applicable for us.

We need to put all this advice and information through our own filter, applying only what is relevant to us and our values and beliefs, and then creating a web of inspiration and knowledge from which to draw from, be inspired by, and thus act upon accordingly.

Two areas of life I focus on daily and pay particular attention to in conjunction with endeavoring to lead a simple life of true contentment are health and fitness, wellbeing, and personal style. (This does not translate to diet and exercise, and fashion per se ) Its more of a personal overall approach that I am continually fine-tuning and honing to be relevant and current for me, in this particular chapter of my life right now.

I try not to get too bogged down with the finer details of someone else’s vision- be it style, food or workout related. As is inevitable, these things evolve, change, and become outdated or surpassed. So find what works for you. Don’t get too bogged down or attached to other people’s advice, or ideas -

The only thing that will serve you forever are the principles, values and skills of creating your own personal map and guide for how you wish to show up in your everyday. Be that a signature look, a way of eating, your work ethic and integrity, and how you choose to share and distribute your abundant gratitude and love, and appreciation of all that you have.

I saw a quote pop up the other day that spoke to me-

Any money you spend in eating well, dressing well, and exploring the world is never a waste.

So personally, today, after the indulgence of Easter yesterday with chocolate, hotcross buns and roast lamb, I am going to consciously put into action another snippet of advice I came across recently-

On my lifetime path to health, wellness, and longevity, I will endeavor to try to avoid foods with barcodes or long ingredients lists, sticking to whole foods in their simplest form. Of course there will be treats and exceptions, but if I can prioritize this way of eating- putting that inspiration into action, I know it will serve me well.

The Perimenopause Club: useful resources and personal thoughts

Sat, 19 Apr 2025 07:32:00 GMT

While I admit, there is on the surface little to savor about Perimenopause, if we choose to arm ourselves with knowledge, keep ourselves informed, and talk openly to other women - of all stages of life but most especially those in the same life chapter as we are currently, there is plenty of positivity and comradeship to be found beyond the face value of a daunting topic.

I am incredibly fortunate to have several amazing women in my life whom I am delighted to call close friends. As we are all mostly within a similar age range, we are supportive and understanding, sometimes without words needing to be spoken, and we know we get it. We have each other’s backs. We also sound each other out regularly about different studies, new research, and our own personal struggles, as well as wins.

I find that when one’s mind is occupied with a particular topic, it seems to pop up everywhere and make its presence felt in the universe with constant nudging. These are the times we should not ignore but embrace and soak up the knowledge and experiences to better ourselves, help friends and family, and potentially enable us to guide others in the future.

Over recent weeks, several podcasts and book publications have come into my sphere, most of which have been incredibly informative and insightful. So below I will link those resources for you and sum up at a surface level some of the key points and facts that have resonated with me too. We are all so very different, and our minds and bodies all cope in different ways- so this is a general overview and my opinion only. Something I find helpful may be of no value to you, and vice versa. But if we can be open and stay abreast of new findings and specialist advice, then boil it down to a basic level with our friends and supportive people, together, we can be more prepared.

“An investment in Knowledge pays the best interest”. Benjamin Franklin

The podcasts below are SO incredibly informative and relatable. Not too much jargon or medical terminology and are genuinely put together to help women better understand the stages around perimenopause and how to strategize and cope, and importantly, UNDERSTAND why this is happening to their bodies.

Oprah, Mel Robins, and Steven Bartlett (Aka Diary of a CEO) are easy to listen to, and expertly ask the right questions about the hard topics.

https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-oprah-podcast/id1782960381?i=1000701667049

https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-diary-of-a-ceo-with-steven-bartlett/id1291423644?i=1000682834405

https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mel-robbins-podcast/id1646101002?i=1000700967350

Published resources well worth a trip to your local book shop or library, or listening to on Audible while taking a walk are:

Next Level Dr Stacy Sims

Dare I Say It: Everything I Wish I’d Known About Menopause: Watts, Naomi, Haver MD, Mary Claire: 9780593729038: Amazon.com: Books

Without getting into the specifics, as you can and should do your own research on the topic, below are the main takeaways for me that I have found surprising and enlightening.

* Having fairly strictly followed an intermittent fasting- or to be more precise, time restricted eating- regimen over the last 5+ years, I was surprised and intrigued to learn that for my stage of life, IF (intermittent fasting) is not the best strategy for me. Now, to give it its dues- it did serve me well initially, and definitely helped reset and recondition my gut microbiome and assist in a weightloss and wellbeing journey. The advice now, is to fuel our bodies before a workout and within 30 minutes of waking. This is a huge change for me- especially as I have routinely observed fasted workouts….and my days start very early! I’m not hungry at 5am!

But Dr Stacy Sims suggests a protein coffee, which is more doable at that hour. Prepare it the night before. I use a big ball jam jar- espresso shot, some milk of your choice, and a scoop of protein powder. Only add the protein to cool liquid, or it clumps. Leave in the fridge ready for the morning- I top up with a little filtered water and a handful of ice cubes- it’s a decadent iced coffee essentially, but one that will help prepare and fuel your body to get the best out of your workout and all the effort you put in. It also helps to cap the rising cortisol we all have first thing in the morning, where my usual big glass of water followed by a strong black coffee was not doing me any favors.

* Creatine- I have been adding creatine supplements to my smoothies for a couple of years, but the science behind this for perimenopausal women is fascinating. And to get sufficient from our diets would involve a kilo of beef or several chicken breasts to get anywhere near the tiny scoop I use daily.

* SIT training. Or Sprint Interval Training. My darling husband has been trying to convince me of the benefits of this for years, but now I’ve come across the science to back it up for women, especially in my stage of life. So just recently, I have changed my running regimen to incorporate a slower run initially, then sprint training- running as fast as my legs will go for 30 seconds, then rest and recovery for 90 seconds, and doing this 5 times. It’s so much more than just getting your heart rate up and has major health benefits.

* Sleep. We all know it. But I do try to prioritise- I try for 8 hours a night. Mostly, I don’t quite get there, but I have a good nighttime routine and at least shoot for 8.

* L-Theanine - taken at night to help muscle recovery and relaxation.

* Vitamin D- assists with bone health and mood regulation (!)

And two things I am working on continually-

* Learn that NO is a complete sentence- if you are over loaded, overwhelmed, or over tired. Say no. Prioritise that quiet evening and early night over a feeling of guilt about an (Over) commitment.

*Communicate. All the amusing Memes in the world will not substitute for you taking the brave step to talk to your family, spouse, or nearest and dearest and let them in tell them what’s going on, what you are going through, and how you feel. It’s super hard, but you’ll feel so much better, and so will they if they can get an understanding of the changes you are going through. Reach out. And if you feel it’s right for you, talk to your doctor or healthcare professional. My GP is amazing and I’m so grateful. There’s no shame in it. I am now on HRT in conjunction with one or two other medications, and I’m SOOOOOO much happier and better off for it. It’s absolutely not right for everyone, but have the conversation.

* And lastly, a la Mel Robins (Love her) LET THEM. And if you haven’t read the book. Do. The Let Them Theory - Mel Robbins

I hope you found some helpful points in this week’s Blog, and enjoy the resources linked. Let us know your stories on this journey. We are all here for each other.

Letting go of items: decluttering

Wed, 16 Apr 2025 04:19:00 GMT

If you only knew the love that has been bestowed on this humble Pajama top (Because yes, that’s how it started life) It belongs to my almost 15 year old and was part of her big sisters silky Pajamas from Marks and Spencer’s when she was two!

I hung it on the line, with extra care and delicately positioned pegs due to its oh so fragile state, my thoughts wandered to the parallels of hanging onto items for sentimental reasons in your homes and closets.

As the washing machine beeped, I was mid-way through a seasonal sort of my wardrobe, and at that moment I had in my hands an item I was truly only keeping due to the memories attached to it.

Items that carry sentiments, memories or history are often the hardest to part with or declutter.

I’m not suggesting for one minute you part with anything that has true sentimental value, family heirlooms or belongings that hold significant importance for you. I’m thinking of those cookbooks that haven’t seen daylight in decades (Uh hemmm, I have a pile of twenty or so waiting to donate since my bookshelf tidy yesterday!) or were a gift, or that sweater that had a hefty price tag but you don’t wear as it itches, or those pants you bought as they’d be “perfect” for work and go with so much but you never reach for them, or the other pair that you’ve never got round to having hemmed so they are too long.

At some point, its a good idea to take an objective look and be a little ruthless. If there are things you genuinely are not sure if you’ll reach for, pop them in a storage bag out of sight- you could even date it, and if in 6 months, 12, at a (real) push if they are truly seasonal, if you don’t miss them and retrieve them, its safe to say they can go. Likewise if there is an item you haven’t worn in 12 months- you’re probably not going to- add it to the “to go” pile. Try the hanger trick- turn all your hanger the wrong way, then as you wear items return them the right way- you’ll soon see what you use and what’s left untouched.

I personally struggle with letting go of items in these 5 main areas-

Purchased on consignment but at such a big discount I know their original price tag is one I wouldn’t usually have within my budget, therefore I feel I should hang onto it.
A gem I snaffled from a second hand shop which was priced ridiculously reasonably and worth considerably more.
Something that was a gift from someone I care about
An item passed down by a well meaning friend or family member that I don’t have the heart to re home for fear of causing hurt or offence.
An item that hold precious memories, or reminds me of a special occasion or time in my life.

My logical wardrobe curator self can quantify these emotions and feelings as such-

That money is already spent, if the item is not serving you and you don’t reach for it or its of no use- let it go.
As I’ve talked about in past blog posts, just because its a bargain doesn’t mean you require it- I really struggle with this one, and have learned the hard way with lovely pieces purchased over the years for a steal that just hang there untouched until they finally make the edit to be re homed.
This is a hard one, and I’m very sentimental naturally- I try to view this from a Marie Kondo perspective as I really struggle with the idea of causing someone I care about feeling rejected or hurt -

“The person buying the gift has brought it to you to show their love and appreciation for you- once you have received it with gratitude that purpose is complete. the very last thing they would have wanted would you to feel any burden from their gift” Marie Kondo

Truly, I am the Mummy who still has all the notes to fairies and my daughters baby teeth tucked away- not to mention items from my grandparents, and cards from my mother and father. I also still harbor a little hurt from years past knowing gifts I have given have not been cherished or particularly well received despite the good intentions and love behind them. But deep down, this quote makes absolute sense.

This might be something a friend thoughtfully passed on as they no longer used or required it, or a hand me down for a child from a cousin or neighbor, or an item another person treasured and cared for yet it doesn’t hold the same use or value to you other than their projection of that. Occasionally, in their need to declutter and organize, friends and family find a new home for their unwanted treasures in you- passing on their guilt in a way, and we feel obliged to hang on to it too- knowing it means something important to them- even afraid perhaps if WE decide to re home it, they may discover us and be doubly offended. This is super hard when you know which ever way you play it we may cause hurt or offence, so we tend to just bundle them into the back of a closet or wardrobe. I have at least 2 such items I can think of as I sit here typing. On the flip side, I try not to project that on friends or family with items I pass on- once its left my possession, I feel lifted and am happy for it to find a new purpose elsewhere.

And lastly, my biggest hurdle. And I certainly don’t advocate for culling every last bit of sentiments you have stored away- even if it very rarely gets looked at. In our guest room closet hanging side by side are both my mothers and my wedding dresses. in that same closet is a teeny tiny tutu in black and yellow with buzzy bee wings- a first ballet show at 3 years old. These are not going anywhere. But I have learned for items with less sentimental weight and importance, that sometimes taking a photo is sufficient- like the boxes of Kindy art we sorted through when we moved a few years ago. Keep some by all means, but don’t be weighed down by it or store for decades.

When my mother emigrated she had a container of all my belongings shipped to me- all SORTS of bits and pieces, including some huge oil paintings form my degree, a dolls house, and even some of my school books. While I kept some important pieces- certainly the 2 family dolls houses and some of my childhood favorite books, and we hung one or two of mu works up on our walls- which it was fun to re discover as we unpacked and unwrapped the various crates- much of it I had no use for- some even no memory of- in my new life the other side of the world. I felt awful getting rid of some of those items that my mother had packed up and paid to ship to me- but her thoughts on it were that they weren’t her belongings to sort through-it wasn’t her decision to decide what I should keep to let go.

When she moved home again fairy recently, she involved me in much of the sorting process, as she was acutely aware that she’s not getting any younger, and she didn’t want to leave me with a huge burden of belongings I didn’t know what to do with and that would add to my grief to make decisions over incase It was something she may have treasured.

I reflect on that sentiment from time to time- who am I saving these things for? Does it serve me or add to my clutter or a burden later in life.

That pajama top is here to say, that’s for sure.

It's OK to care about how you look

Fri, 11 Apr 2025 09:58:00 GMT

It’s too easy to feel a little guilty or selfish when you care about how you look. I assure you, you needn’t feel either of those things—in fact, you shouldn’t.

If you are on a health and wellness journey or want to change your body shape or lose some weight, you’d most likely start by eating well, being conscious of what you’re putting into your body, and moving it regularly.

If you want to feel good about yourself BEFORE you lose the weight or hit a goal of some kind, it’s time to step out of the drab, baggy oversized clothing and dress in a way that makes you feel good. The better you feel, the more motivated you’ll become and the better you’ll do.

Never mind waiting to go shopping or update you wardrobe until you are your goal size or weight, if you take the time and dress to feel good now, you’re more likely to put your self on the right trajectory to reach that goal- Clothes are a better catalyst to reaching a goal than they are a reward. If you feel good and confident and fit in your gym clothes or your smart, well-fitted professional pants, you are far more likely to want to reach that goal and put yourself in the right headspace to achieve it. Imagine rocking up to workout in an old band tee-shirt and baggy stained swet pants and feeling like you can give it 100%, like you are the fit person you want to be. It’s far easier to visualise and far more motivating if you are in clothes that make you look and feel good already. Just like the tailored understated corporate pants, paired with a simple crisp shirt and a leather belt- understated professionalism- or the slightly too loud blouse you got on special that isn’t quite your colour and doesn’t fit quite right so you keep tugging at it though the interview for the dream job in a top company- which will make you feel confident and grow an inch taller just because you feel your best in it- regardless of your size or shape.

Dress like the person you want to be and have the habits you want to have - project yourself into that personality and lifestyle using clothing as a tool.

Filling up your closet is not the same as building a wardrobe. We need to be intentional with what we choose to occupy space in our wardrobe, and only permit items you know look good on you, fit well, and let your personality and personal style shine through.

Become a hunter, not a gatherer- seek out that particular item you know there is a gap for, which will pair with multiple items you already have. As opposed to buying something on a whim as its a good deal but actually when you get it home there really very little it can work with, so it just sits there, taking up valuable closet real estate and doing you no favour’s in the meantime and has served no other purpose than to empty your account a little more.

That’s not to say you need to spend a fortune or have an unlimited budget- far from it. We can get creative with how and where we spend on items and become practiced at spotting a quality bargain or consignment gem that we have a use for and a requirement for. Value is subjective- it’s how important an item is to you and how it makes you feel, regardless of the price tag.

I heard an idea for a great test to figure out if you are in a style rut or just successfully honing your true style…..

Imagine you were to phone a friend right now and suggest you meet for coffee in 15 minutes, and ask that friend to guess what they think you’d most likely be wearing.

If they pretty much guess down to the type of hair tie you’ll be wearing - you might want to reflect on that predictability and find strategies to lift your self out of the rut. If they guess the general ethos- as in, probably a blazer, maybe ballet flats and likely an accent of a colour- that’s more of a style than a predictable rut. and you can pat yourself on your stylish back for that.

But don’t be complacent - regularly evaluate and check pieces in your wardrobe for style, fit, wear, and usage.

I can’t wait to get stuck into mine over the next week now that our seasons are really turning, and I’m looking forward to having a refresh and making some space- and also donating or even selling a few items I’m just not getting use out of.

Such a satistying task, and then to walk back into your beautifully curated boutique-esqu wardrobe afterwards- dreamy.

Hello, and welcome!

Sun, 06 Apr 2025 05:19:00 GMT

I thought it was about time to introduce myself properly. It’s been a while now, and I know many of you follow the corresponding Instagram account and regularly read the weekly blog.

I felt it was time to stop hiding behind the lens as such and connect with you, my lovely readers, on a more personal level.

So, this is me.

Wife to an amazing husband- the love of my life- and mother to 2 teenage girls. British born, living in New Zealand, and nudging my late forties.

Our home is in Auckland but right out of the city and nestled in acres of native bush and coastline.

I can honestly say I have never felt more grounded, contented, and truly grateful to live the life I am privileged to be living right now. And its certainly not without its bumps and challenges! People talk of glow-ups, but I think over the past few years, I have experienced a glow -within. I am fitter and stronger now than in my 20’s, have the confidence that comes with experience to know who I am and what I value, and I am incredibly blessed to have a circle of amazing women I’m privileged to call friends.

As our daughters have grown up, so too, I think, have I. I am more assured in my beliefs, knowledge, and capabilities. More confident in my true person and personal style and have a clear path I wish to follow in terms of making a living and following my passions. Of being the person I want to show up as in my daily life.

I work full time, and while I enjoy what I do, my passion lies in writing. I am a total homebody, enjoying decorating, home making, cooking, entertaining, even cleaning, gardening, and having peace and quiet here in my sanctuary. I adore my two cats, and one day I dream of being a doggy mama too.

I am a huge believer in longevity, and the route to that is a good diet and moving your body daily. I am mindful of what I eat but enjoy treats regularly, and I partake in at least one form of exercise every day without fail. Walking is my happy, mindful place, and most days I am fortunate enough to be able to walk to my work.

My interests are Golf, reading, writing, ballet, walking, running, style, decor, food, and cooking. While I am (I think) an HSP and probably an extroverted introvert- loving my quiet time alone at home or on my walks- I love people and so enjoy the contact my job affords me with young children and adults.

So, in the hope this doesn’t sound like a CV or pen pall letter, I’ll “sign off” here.

I just felt it was time you knew a little about me as you see and enjoy so much of my daily life already.

Everyday contentment is just that, its finding your own personal way to living a life of contentment each day- this isn’t always about joy, or fun, style or excitement or the perfect day- its about appreciating everyitng you do have already, savouring those joyous and beautiful moments, and being grounded enough to step back when things are a little bumpy to reflect and take something from the situation. To hopefully learn from it. Its about making time every day to pause and notice the abundant beauty around and within you, and showing up as the best version of yourself each day.

Gratitude is not about what you have; its about truly valuing what you have.

Its about designing an everyday life that you love, because that’s where you will reside for most of your days.

Welcome.

It has taken much thought and consideration to take the plunge and become more than a blog title or handle- to allow myself to be a little vulnerable and introduce myself fully. A real person with a family, friends, and feelings.

I’d love to hear from you.

When a bargain isn't a bargain

Thu, 03 Apr 2025 00:48:00 GMT

A thought to ponder;

Finding something on sale, on clearance, or with a big discount is sorely tempting. A $10 rack is an undeniable thrill, but don’t be fooled.

No price, high end or bargain basement, will allow anything to fit you better, flatter you more, or make you want to wear it or get more use out of it.

Bargains can be false economy and lead to wardrobe clutter.

Intentionality

Creating an intentional wardrobe isn’t only about the clothes within it; it’s about gathering a collection that speaks to you, supports your lifestyle, reflects your personality and values, and makes getting ready for each day, whatever it may bring, effortless.

Regardless of if your aim is to curate a streamlined capsule wardrobe, seasonal wardrobes, or just to have your clothing arranged so beautifully that picking out your outfit is like stepping into your very own boutique each morning. Adding impulse items from sale racks simply because of their price is ultimarlytly going to lead you to feeling cluttered, and disconnected fromyour true personal style.

Having a wardrobe that works for you and supports your style rather than one that adds stress of confusion.

We want our clothing to make us feel confident and positive and to serve us well and effortlessly in our daily lives.

A key example if when you find something that works perfectly for you- its worth considering buying mutiples. I have recently purchased 2 new pairs of the Sam Edelman GiGi tee strap sandals that I’ve worn faithfully each summer for over 6 years now- they are so versatile- for super hot summer through to early autumn and late spring - and in their natural almond patient can work with almost any colour. As they are so minimal in terms of foot coverage they also pair equally well with a floaty summer dress as a pair of tailored pants or shorts. I branched out this year on two pairs as I needed to order from Nordstrom with a shipping cost incurred - so I purchase the old faithful almond patient and in addition a leopard skin pair. (love a bit of leopard!)

It was around mid morning this past Tuesday it occurred to me: I had had a busy productive morning at home- chores/ lunches/ hanging laundry/ making beds, then walked the 2km to work, where I’m Mostly on my feet, that I was wearing brand new footwear that was so comfortable I’d forgotten!

These were well worth investing in and even paying the shipping as I knew they’d fit and I’d get much use out of them.

However, I have most certainly made the error in the (recent ) past of an impulse by driven by a great discount or price and almost always live to regret it.

While it’s great to have a list of items you need to fill gaps or update in your wardrobe- so that when you come across that something you can try it on objectively and make and informed choice as to if it meets your requirements, an impulse buy of something not remotely on your radar, based solely on its price point, is usually a poor one.

For example I was thrilled to pick up some black tapered leg crepe-ish pants in Melbourne recently as they were on my list of potential buys. I’m actually wearing them today- but I have a few pieces in my wardrobe which are niggling at me- I know I purchased them in haste with the little rush of the thrill finding a bargain -but in truth, I don’t think I’ll get much- if any- wear from them. Maybe they are ill fitting as they were purchased on line without trying on, perhaps they are a colour that Doreen’s suit me or work with my wardrobe palette, or simply just not me-they don’t make me feel good. And life’s too short to not enjoy wearing the clothes you choose for yourself!

So while it is a thrill to find a treasure-be it from an opportunity shop/ second hand/ good will or on consignment or just a regular sale in store or on line: try to be mindful about what will actually serve you, comply with your current wardrobe and fit with other pieces- and your unique body.

A bargain won’t necessarily make it fit better or flatter you- but it may weigh on you as clutter….

Next time you have a (hopefully regular) editing and organisational session- just down what gaps you need to fill and keep it handy- I keep mine in my phone so if I’m out and about I can refer to it. And if you’re too nervous to ruthlessly cull- pop any questionables into a bag and tuck it away. If you don’t reach for any of the items during the next month or appropriate season- it’s time to let them go and make space for what you can use, and enjoy!

Your wardrobe isn't the clothes you own, it's the clothing you wear, use and like

Fri, 28 Mar 2025 07:51:00 GMT

We may have a closet utterly stuffed with clothes- but nothing to wear. Or we may have an abundance of pants, but none that fit quite right or that are flattering, practical, or the right fabric, colour… You get the idea.

Your wardrobe isn’t the clothes you own; your wardrobe is what you wear regularly, those pieces you reach for regularly. And if we are taking it to the next level- the skill of continuously evaluating and editing out pieces which no long reserve us for whatever reason.

Your wardrobe doesn’t make you stylish, per se. Style is an attitude, confidence, and ora. Style is a mindset, not an outfit.

While purchasing a certain garment may temporarily empower us, it’s the wearer who brings it to life. We can purchase the latest technology in running shoes and look the part, but unless we use them to run, they do not make us run. They may enable us to run better. They help us on a journey we have already embarked on. Buying a hammer won’t build you a house.

Below is a completely unedited and un-beautified look at the week that was in my outfit choices- from sweaty post workout to work from from home to the office.

Monday- 5am home gym. strength workout in older workout wear but it is functional and I still feel strong and capable in it.

This is a two-piece from ODE at Stylerunner. The pants were too long, so my lovely Mother hemmed them for me. When I purchased them (On sale), I was pretty sure they were out of my comfort zone, but I thought I’d experiment- planning to use the pieces separately if together was too much. Funnily enough, I had several compliments during the day I wore this, but I just didn’t feel me, and honestly, I’m disappointed with the quality. The waistband is twisted and won’t sit flush, there are no pockets, and it creases rather badly. I found the shirt a little boxy and the pants very underwhelming, so, despite my poor Mamas efforts, I think this outfit will be donated to passed on. It’s important to be honest with yourself and true to your style. If you don’t feel good in it, listen to that feeling. I’m glad to have worn it this week and took this photograph as for me, it seals the deal. It’s got to go.

The retro Reeboks, however, LOVE.

5am treadmill run. Under Armour and Lorna Jane and fave ON cloud running shoes.

I admit, I forgot to snap a pic until I was already walking to work. Its cooler in the mornings, but by mid-morning its seriously heating up. SO I wore this thicker Zara capped sleeve tee over a Federation pleated skirt and my Alfie & Evie super comfortable platform sandals. Tote bag with laptop, smoothie and salad!

5.30am strength session- I love this olive colour.

Love this easy-to-wear Country Road shirt dress. Subtle taupe pinstripe and super soft lined cotton. Paired with my new Hillfiger sandals from Melbourne I purchased on sale from David Jones, and an elasticated belt with tan leather buckle.

I felt pulled together and light and easy. It was warm and overcast so this provided enough cool layering.

Treadmill run a little later as it was a work-from-home day. Old running top and matching NIKE bralet, LSKD running shorts= I love these for their useful double and zippable pockets.

Sportscraft knitted polo. I like this for the between seasons weight as its lighter than a sweater but heavier than a tee, but its a rather clunky fit that widens at the hem- not flattering on hips.

Button-up denim skirt- one of my daughter’s offs and a fave pair of mules from Rollie. A unique feather detail in the leather adds a little texture and interest.

Pointed Mule Embossed Black – Rollie Nation

OK, this wasn’t 5am, this was yesterday afternoon, but I re wore the clothes for my workout first thing. This top is LNDR with a pretty twist detail at the back and buttery soft wicking fabric. Another pair of ON Clouds. THE BEST running shoes. www.on.com

It was just chilly enough and drizzly enough to warrant pulling out a blazer today. I have many blazers and find them so versatile and such a classic finish. This one is from MAX, the pants are silk, from Lilysilk, the striped nautical tee is from Sportscraft and shell detail belt. The Flats are a pair I wish I’d bought in multiples of- hindsight is a wonderful thing. They are soft Italian leather from Everlane. It’s one of their Day Gloves, but they no longer sell this particular style with the lower scoop and front seam. I can walk MILES in these.

I’ve linked something similar here from them

The Day Glove Tan – Everlane

So there you have it, an honest snippet of my week. These outfits were not chosen for this post - They are a genuine representation of what I picked out depending on the weather and what the day had in store for me. Ive learned from this too!

Dressing well doesn’t have to mean dressing up- if you only make an effort when you’re going somewhere, what you’re really saying to yourself is that style is for other people not for yourself.

Dressing daily: transition from wearing clothes to wearing outfits

Sun, 23 Mar 2025 07:50:00 GMT

“It is the silence that provides clarity and precision. Creativity arises from stillness and when there are too many thoughts in our minds that create confusion. It is actually the silence around the thoughts that creates the clarity- that creates the focus” Andy Puddicombe

Savoring simple daily pleasures- while the absolute ethos and core of the blog, and I shall always be someone who notices the little details and takes huge pleasure from daily life, savoring the seemingly mundane and appreciating the ordinary magic in our lives.

I have come to truly realize over quite some time and many walks- to sort my thoughts and give space to creativity, that I derive so much pleasure from dressing, daily. Putting outfits together, being creative- not necessarily shopping but pulling from what I have. Trying new combinations or investing in a new style or cut and adapting current pieces with it. Using clothing to channel my mood, how I carry myself in a particular outfit or style, and setting an intentional trajectory for the day or event. Its an intrinsic and really important part of my day- and I believe so firmly that there is a big difference between an outfit and just putting on clothes- letting the clothes wear you, instead of finding and rejoicing in your true style and all the joy and knock on feelings, emotions and confidence that comes with that. Its empowering, fundamental, and a prerequisite to a day of productivity and composure- to live your best life. Everyday.

I am a busy working Mum of two teenage girls. We don’t eat out a huge amount, we attend a handful of functions and special dinners or events a year, and similarly, with outings to the Ballet or theatre, and generally we entertain at home with friends or casual dinners around town. I walk to my place of work, (even tho I have a car I love to drive too) and we travel overseas a few times a year and have regular beach vacations within New Zealand. But I’m pretty ordinary, with a pretty average income and lifestyle. My life and my daily tasks and objectives would resonate with countless women of a similar age around the world no doubt. I don’t often need to dust off the ball gowns, stilettos or power fitted two-piece suit.

I derive so much joy and creativity from planning my wardrobe, my daily outfits, and dressing each day. Choosing to put together and wear outfits rather than just clothes. The finer details, the unexpected accessories, and the seasonal changes, while remaining faithful to my true personal style. Having a little fun!

I’m not swayed by current trends easily- and it may take me a year or more to experiment with a new style - from skinny jeans to barrel leg for example. I LOVE to shop, hence my conscious pullback last year with my NO BUY YEAR. And I love a good deal- who doesn’t!? Picking up a quality timeless piece for a fraction of its original cost- on sale, consignment or secondhand, gives me a little frisson of excitement and a rush of those endorphins we shoppers like.

When you get to a point when you know what you really like to wear, give yourself permission to invest in quality pieces in the confidence you’ll wear them often. I’m not suggesting you go into debt or spend what you don’t have ( Eh humm….been there) but make a list and know what you’re looking for, keep an eye out for bargains, and be prepared to wait. Constantly edit pieces you no longer like, use or require or that are ill-fitting or scratchy- or that you simply don’t feel good in. And when you make your list be precise- list honestly your Needs, wants and Nice to haves. If you have the money and the right piece crops up- do it. But be mindful to purchase or acquire items that you will wear- Be very mindful of how you spend your wardrobe dollars- spend them in the area you spend most time. If you keep buying cocktail dresses but never go to formal events, yet spend 95% of your time in tatty athleisure and sloppy tees…. it might be time to re-look at your priorities when it comes to new purchases.

I am currently on the hunt for a timeless trench- I realize they are very a la mode right now, but I have worn trenches for years and I’m just looking to replace and update my current tired one. Which, I hasten to add, I got during a ClothesSchwap when my girls were babies. I also have a cropped one purchased second-hand at least 10 years ago but sometimes cropped just won’t cut it. pun intended!

At the tender age of 18 I saved my money up from my Saturday job (In a clothing store- my first department was the shoes….it stuck) and I purchased a classic trench coat, a traditional umbrella in a muted plaid with a wooden hook handle, and buttery soft chocolate brown kid leather gloves for my darling Mama who was turning 50. This year shes turns 80- and she still wears and enjoys all three of those quality purchases.

So my style and love of clothing isn’t about the latest trends or fast fashion- its about presenting yourself well, expressing your true style, and above all, making you feel good.

I am reaching my late forties (!) and I think the more years I have behind me the more relaxed I am about being judged and confirming- I am by no means wild in my style sense, and generally and fairly neutral and classic, with the odd bold color or print thrown in- and always room for leopard. But I remember the angst of teens and early twenties where if it was exactly as we were told it should be, it was so wrong it was cringe-worthy. Stuff and nonsense to that I now say with alacrity!

While I believe there are some rules or guidelines we’d be wise to stick to in terms of body shape, age, lifestyle, and geographical positioning- I believe if you feel good in what you are wearing you naturally project that- you look good too. Own it.

So its quite likely for the next little while this blog may take a slightly different path and focus a little more on style, wardrobe staples, and clothing choices. Its a topic I never get tired of and feel I have much to offer as well as much to discover.

I still firmly stand by my “savoring simple daily pleasures” motto, as the perfect coffee, a cracking fire or dressing well are all equally pleasurable to me in my everyday.

This encompasses everything from grooming to undergarments, handbags, accessories, and shoes to nightwear.

Just as if you have had a great workout or a run, you are more inclined to reach for the green juice or protein-packed breakfast, so too if you are in attire that speaks volumes about how you wish your day to go. Even when I am sick- I feel better showering and dressing in something presentable but comfy, with maybe a little makeup or none but clean hair and always a spritz of fragrance. During lockdowns I still showered, dressed, styled my hair and put a little makeup and perfume on every day- without fail. This was as much for me as my family’s benefit. We still had jobs to do-all be it from home, school classes to attend online, and each other to be there for.

Getting dressed is something we (Hopefully) all do every day. So why not enjoy and savor it. Appreciate and be grateful for our clothes and our wardrobes, look after our garments, seek to buy quality over quantity and be open to new styles and possibilities.

This week I will post my daily outfits on my Instagram, and we’ll check back in next week. Thanks for stopping by.

Service, self checkout, and the lost art of customer care

Sat, 22 Mar 2025 02:02:00 GMT

A brief post today reflecting on several experiences while shopping on our recent trip to Melbourne.

Here in New Zealand, I actually tend to do most of my clothing shopping on line or sporadically. Being often time pour and living out of the city, I prioritize my limited down time and weekends with walks, time out, family and other interests- so its unusual for me to just go shopping on a whim or without a specific requirement. Even my groceries are usually done on line with a brief top-up stop at a quaint little local supermarket.

Therefore, I am quite possibly a little behind in my discovery of how technology has gained some serious traction in high street retail shopping. Taking into account also that NZ isn’t quite as advanced as Australia in these fields mostly as we just don’t have the customer base- or population- to warrant these changes yet.

I am familiar with self checkouts at the grocery stores- although i still find them frustrating when i usually get beeped at for my straw bags or some such- and giant retailers like K-Mart (Shudder) also implement a self check out system.

But over the course of our week in Melbourne, we experience at least 2 restaurants where ordering was though a QR code on your table- now these weren’t fine dining- but they were proper eating establishments, which required booking and a certain amount of dress code and etiquette and fairly substantial bills at the end of our meals.

At the airport- I went to purchase fragrance and again it was self-check out- including scanning your boarding card, and again at WHSmith for tissues and light reading material.

What really blew me away was shopping in Zara with my youngest- we purchased a dress for her and a basic tee for me- having tried it on and been warmly greeted by sales staff in the fitting room- we went to pay. What I can only describe as a line on long while butlers sink size troughs lined a wall with screens above them. When I placed the items into the “Basket” ready to commence scanning a bar code or similar and removing hangers- the machine read automatically what our purchases were from the hidden scanner in the “basket” and appeared as pictures and the prices on the tablet. Quite extra ordinary.

We then had to select a bag, remove the hangers and place them on a rack under the counter and pay on the pin pad. so, from the fitting room to exiting the store we were entirely left to our own devices!

What if I’d had a question about sizes or returns or stock availability? And like wise with our food orders- at one establishment we had too many wait staff check in on us while we ate which was almos comical, having had no help or attention while ordering off the QR code, in the other restaurant even the Maitre D was absent as we arrived to be shown to our booked table, and we had to search several time though out our meal to find wait staff to assist.

As a teen and in my early 20’s I worked in several clothing retails stores and several mid to high end restaurants, then later in an interiors boutique. I loved my various jobs. And what made them all enjoyable and special was the rapport with the clientele! Whether that was pulling a pint of beer and having a little bar banter, or uncorking an expensive bottle of champagne and serving to a table of special guests as silver service, or carefully wrapping someone’s new garment in tissue before placing it in a big glossy bag, or giftwrapping a gorgeous piece of home decor- such as Lalique crystal, in thick cream paper and a taupe satin ribbon while chatting with the client.

Is this a dying art? I do so hope not! Fir me it is part of the experience. In a nice restaurant I value the waiters or sommeliers opinion and recommendations. IN a beautiful boutique I want to talk to the sales assistant, check about size and fit, explain my requirements- in case they can assure me or suggest an alternative.

It makes me chuckle to myself to think of my Beloved grandmothers reaction to all this if she was still alive today- shed hoot with laughter at the absurdity of it. In her day - even the fish monger would engage in conversation and offer expert advice and tips while carefully Packinging up your dinner. The hardware shop would be a font of knowledge and would know precisely where to find and meet your exact needs. A simple tea shop would take your order and serve you- to have to ask for a teaspoon or napkin would be unthinkable!

The joy I felt in the more unique shops and boutiques where I was greeted on entry, encouraged to browse, helped when requested and the chatter and glimpse of another person’s day and personality is what added the sparkle and individual touch to the experience.

Dont you agree?

I sincerely hope this doesn’t catch on quickly. I know you cant stop progress, and nor should we, but we can encourage service and customer care- face to face.

Melbourne; ponderings and wanderings – and fairly incredible shopping!

Sat, 15 Mar 2025 05:58:00 GMT

Now, I’m well aware we are all about less is more, timeless style, and quality over quantity here—but oh my! It has been quite some time since I have spent some time in a city with fabulous architecture, food, coffee, and high-end stores literally on the doorstep!

The public transport, and especially the trams here is fantastic, but I do so enjoy walking to get my bearings and really experience a city or town. And despite its impressive size and population, Melbourne is remarkably easy to navigate and traverse.

Having completed my no-buy- year in 2024 (No entirely without hiccoughs) I felt a frisson of excitement here when I walked into the expansive retail area closest to our apartment. Not only were there the iconic Australian Department stores of Myers and David Jones, but also countless boutique-style stores or shops only available in Australia. Add to that a TK MAX (don’t knock it till you’ve tried it) which for those who don’t know is a huge consignment chain where if you have the patience to trawl through the many racks, you can find really wonderful deals on high quality pieces- a 100% cashmere tank for example marked down to AUD$60. I didn’t go crazy, but I thoroughly enjoyed a good investigative browse!

The items I have purchased have nearly all been from a rough list I compiled at home to help keep me on track and reduce impulse buying- and they are all pieces I required to fill gaps or replace worn-out pieces in my current wardrobe. And absolutely everything I have purchased has- happily- been heavily discounted - sometimes by over a $100!

My husband is NOT a shopper (Our girls have better stamina) so the brief stints of shopping have been interspersed among lots of walking, sightseeing, cycling, The Grand Prix excitement, and exploring as a family.

Below is a list of the items I have purchased (so far…wink wink)

A leather, leopard print Belt- to replace a favorite that has certainly seen better days (Less than $40 on sale)

Barel Leg Jeans- for the changing seasons- a step away from my old faithful skinny jeans and a shape reminiscent of the old Twisted Levis of the 90’s- remember those? ($35 on sale reduced from over $200)

100% fine Merino wool sleeveless turtle neck in camel for cooler months and under blazers. ($49, down from $225)

Ralph Lauren Leather shoulder bag with gold hardware. (Could not believe this deal- under $100, down from over $800!!!!)

2 novels from a large bookstore- down to $9.99 each

2 pairs of sandals, one Tommy Hilfiger, one DUNE London. one pair to replace some well and truly thrashed faithful Sam Edelman GiGi T staps in almond patent - my third pair of these incredibly versatile and comfy summer sandals. And the other, as I have a black pair similar and have been searching for a neutral equivalent. One pair was $80 something, and the other was $60, both reduced from their original prices of over $200.

Pair of Tommy Bahamahs cigarette-style pants in black ($29 from almost $200)

I also bought a pair of taupe casual 3/4 pants from a brand I’m not familiar with. They were only $25, and I thought they’d be good for travel, weekends, and maybe even golf.

We have one more giant mall to explore next week and the only items I’ll keep an eye out for are a trench coat- I’ve been searching for a replacement one of high quality for some time and I’m prepared to wait for the right one at the right price….plus there’s only so much a girl can fit in a suitcase!

And lastly, a pair of camel and black two-toned pointed ballet flats to replace my rather worn ones back home. I’m wondering about Vivaia. Has anyone had any experience with the brand? I like that they are washable and sure to be comfy for my commute.

So, moving on from the (Fabulous) shopping, It has been wonderful to experience being in the thick of a thriving, bustling city once more. The diversity of its residents, along with the scope of activities, cultures and architecture, makes it a unique and vibrant city. We are fortunate enough to have a large balcony at our rented apartment, which has been a treat for sunrise yoga, morning coffee, and generally watching the city busy below us at all hours of the day and night. So, even when we are back at the apartment for a little pause as I am now- with the air conditioning on inside as it’s a very warm 32 degrees- we still feel like we are absorbing the atmosphere and part of the city.

My walk this morning took me on a 7km loop up to some of the grand old buildings near Parliament - steeped in relatively recent history, and at the early hour I was out on a Saturday morning, I had the place practically to myself. I am saddened by our home city’s past disregard for many of its historical architecture and buildings- even the once grand and imposing in Auckland are vastly overshadowed by their modern neighbours or in heartbreaking disrepair. Here, they seem to marry ultramodern and architecturally staggering feats while still respecting and glorifying the old bluestone colonial buildings and the terraces with Victorian filigree balconies and decorative elements. The Flinders Street station, with its magnificent dome and ornate ballroom, are an absolute testament to this. The Cathedral, which was peeling out the bells last evening, is a stone’s throw from our accommodation and is one of the oldest buildings here, built in 1839. Just across the park from St. James is Cook’s cottage- in theory slightly older and transported brick by brick from England!

I am reading a historical fiction currently set in Tasmania and have read several based around Sydney and Melbourne previously. It’s pretty thought-provoking to pause and consider who laid these bricks and who crafted these cities, and who was here before them, and whose ancestral lands they were.

As arresting and captivating as it is, and despite all this richness, I yearn for the peace and tranquility of our home, going to bed to no other sounds than the moreporks (NZ Owl-like nocturnal birds) and cicadas, or the rain hitting the roof, or the breeze in the trees. I’ve come to realise that while the buzz and chaos of a city is exciting and vibrant, I can only enjoy it in short bursts.

I am so grateful to be fortunate to experience these places and travel, but even more deeply grateful for the calmness, quietude, and surrounding nature of our home. Something I will savor even more deeply when I return. How truly sublime to be so utterly content with our home and our everyday lives that while it’s a treat to experience new things and different places, it’s just as lovely to return home again to our sanctuary.

Yep. That’s me on a tandem wth my husband!

Small, daily, seemingly insignificant improvements, when done consistently over time, lead to stunning results

Sat, 08 Mar 2025 07:58:00 GMT

The title of this post is a direct quote from a very wise man, who has quickly become an important influence and even a role model lately, Robin Sharma, The quote is taken from his latest book, “The Wealth Money Cant Buy”

I have been devouring the paperback edition and enjoying the ritual of finding a quiet nook, putting on my reading glasses and being fully present to absorb the next installment of his wisdom. The pages are all marked up and folded over so that I can go back and refer and re-read the gems that speak to me.

What he speaks to throughout the book (And he has penned many others I am yet to read) strikes such a chord and draws so many parallels to the ethos and culture and aspirations of the very essence of what this Blog and my writing are all about.

That tiny daily triumphs count, and they all gather and compound into making a life you wish to lead.

All the micro tasks, rituals and seemingly small details you choose to ensure are observed and appreciated in your everyday.

“To lead your richest life, you also need to nourish the wealth of your mind, guard the wellness of your emotional universe, and regularly and carefully feed your spiritual life. So you consistently feel happy and profoundly peaceful.” Robin Sharma

And as he suggests many times throughout his work- read that quote again, slowly. It’s powerful stuff.

Probably a year ago now, I wrote a post on this blog about the universe’s magical way of whispering to you until you tune in and listen. While I have been preoccupied dealing with and working through a bumpy patch of health issues (Pretty much all hormone related- see last week’s post!) I have become aware of a persistent message reaching out to me through many channels, such as the book “The Wealth Money Cant Buy” along with several conversations with friends, colleagues, and healthcare professionals, podcasts I’ve happened upon, and books I’ve been recommended. All of them have buoyed me in some valuable way.

Either to help fine tune the direction I wish to take my professional life, take a look with fresh eyes at my beautiful family and the life we are creating together, and sprur me on with renewed passion and viggor to achieve the life of contentment I am striving for and working on every day- in a holistic way encompassing my health, wellness, home life, writing, and continually learning and educating myself.

On my walk this afternoon, I began to listen to the Audio book of Mell Robins ‘the Let Them theory’ It was as if the final piece of the puzzle fell into palce and brought with it such clarity and focus on what direction I wish to take my life, what I dream of acomplishing and how I would like to continue to be as a wife, mother, daughter, friend, and writer. It was as if a light turned on, and I could feel a plan and timeline forming in my head, working towards things I wish to accomplish and achieve. And as though the fog cleared, I can see it forming now. I have the clarity I’ve been searching for. Like a huge sigh of relief and a deep, long breath inwards.

It’s so important to honor your true self and show up every day with gratitude, an open mind, and an open heart to receive. Keeping your goals in your sights yet treading gently along the path to them, so that we can appreciate all the beauty, gifts and lessons along the way.

Because your daily behaviour always reflects your deepest beliefs. It’s easy to get a little off track, swayed, and lose focus. But if we are mindful and consistent and continue to search for the joy in all the little things, appreciate all we have and the abundance of the world around us, we’ll get there.

I’ll leave you with this last powerful quote from Robin Sharma:

Remember, you’re stronger than you know, you’re more talented than you’re giving yourself credit for and you future has deep magic in store for you. trust yourself, believe in you (especially when no one else does) and keep moving ahead. Always.

My perimenopause (bumpy) journey

Fri, 28 Feb 2025 23:34:00 GMT

If ever there was a reason to hone in on and drill down on the simple pleasures in daily life, it’s most apparent when things are a little bumpy. To focus on the positives and feel genuine gratitude and thanks for everything you can appreciate that’s going right, of beauty, kindness, warmth - all that good stuff.

And no matter how much you have managed to hone this skill in your everydays while travelling towards a life of contentment, bumpy patches occur.

Perimenopause Awareness

Perimenopause is, thankfully, much talked about these days, and more and more is being done to help and understand this life stage for women. And while it’s certainly beneficial to have more information and potential relief and help at our fingertips, it’s still a pretty white-knuckle ride for many.

This blog is a place of comfort, of positivity, gratitude, and hopefully, happiness and community. So I felt it was time to broach this subject - in essence, to assure anyone who is reading this who isn’t necessarily at ease with discussing it with friends, family, or even your health care practitioner -

You are not alone.

You. Are. Not. Alone.

Self-awareness is a core component of living a life of contentment, and that encompasses all aspects of our well-being: Mind and body.

I had blindly ignored the early warning signs that my body was starting to change initially, and frankly, at that stage, I’m not sure I knew the difference between perimenopause and Menopause and just thought it was essentially when a woman’s cycle stopped after a few hot flushes.

Boy. Tip of the (ignorant) iceberg.

An accumulation of a few symptoms began appearing, which at the time, I didn’t link. These little niggles increased steadily, and it wasn’t until a good friend sent me a link to an article

“42 Signs you might be in perimenopause” that the penny really dropped. I ticked 41 of them.

What are the 34 symptoms of menopause?

Above I linked a similar article - many of the same symptoms are described - so many of which never occurred to me could be anything to do with my hormones or perimenopause.

A matter of days after this revelation, I took a walk with another dear friend who educated me on the benefits of HRT (hormone replacement therapy) and her own recent journey.

I booked an appointment with my GP.

Living in New Zealand, while I have the utmost respect for my family GP and am grateful for our healthcare system, I firmly believe in many instances we are a little on the back foot with some medical practices and what is available to us. I was prescribed a low dose hormonal patch - to be increased in increments - and progesterone tablets to take at certain points in the month. Then I was recommended to be fitted with a Mirena (IUD) which would slowly release progesterone over time.

This was all a little daunting, but I had read up a little, talked to friends and acquaintances, and listened to podcasts, so I felt I was making an informed decision. It’s not right for everyone, so I encourage you to do your own research and look into family history before considering.

I am also hyper aware that a one-size-fits-all solution is just not feasible in this field, and we have so much more to learn and discover about how to help women through this phase. I cannot understand how 75% of the women I know in this stage of life have all been prescribed the exact same medication to varying degrees - surely it’s not that simple.

Now, I won’t dwell on it, but suffice it to say the insertion of the Mirena, for me personally, was very unpleasant. I know many women see it as little more discomfort than a regular Pap smear, but for me, it was a pretty painful few moments. (On recommendation, I did also have a biopsy performed at the same time to check for womb health.) What I wasn’t expecting was the ongoing cramping and spotting for as long and as strong as it was.

So this is not to scare you, but so perhaps some of you out there can gather information and be informed - especially those who perhaps don’t find it easy to have these open conversations with medical practitioners or indeed other women. Looking back now - 18 months on nearly - I would still have made the decision to have the Mirena; it also transpired I have developed an underlying common condition for which the Mirena is the recommended course of treatment in any case. But I would have felt better forewarned that the cramping and spotting, in my case, went on painfully for a good 3 months and finally petered out around 6 months in.

Since embracing my perimenopause journey, I am mindful to continue to educate myself on new findings and evidence, recommendations, and important women’s health discoveries from a holistic perspective.

Through my fairly extensive personal research, the core pillars are continuously reinforced by scientists and medical practitioners, as well as dietitians and naturopaths:

Good diet
Moving your body daily
Good sleep hygiene

The last few months, I have sadly experienced firsthand some fairly brutal sleep deprivation and poor-quality sleep despite my best efforts. I have good sleep hygiene practices - I do all the right things (hydrate, magnesium, no alcohol, no smoking, plenty of time outdoors and a variety of exercise, good healthy diet, low sugar, limited refined foods and carbohydrates, no screens before bed, regular nighttime routine, lavender, shower, dim light… you name it!) - but sleep has still been eluding me, which has spiraled into affecting my everyday.

After another GP visit to check what I can do from here and some blood tests to make sure there’s nothing else going on, I am slowly getting back on track. I have some new medication - including sleeping tablets, which I tried for a couple of nights, but they’re not for me. I have re-looked at my daily supplement intake and upped a few things based on some independent digging and listening to science-based podcasts, reading articles, and talking to knowledgeable people. So now, as well as my morning Age Mate (AgeMate) and nightly Metagenics Magnesium (Metagenics MetaRelax Raspberry 241g Powder: New Name, Same Great-Tasting Formula.), I am also re-introducing Iron alongside some vitamin C and taking a daily vitamin D3 supplement. At this stage, I feel I am probably getting adequate Omega 3’s from my diet, but as winter draws in, I will re-look at all these again and tweak as necessary.

So sleep is a big component, definitely not to be overlooked.

But another HUGE one for me personally has been anxiety.

A couple of years ago, I would go as far as to say I would have poo-pooed the idea entirely. Having thankfully never struggled with mental health personally in any capacity, I just didn’t get it.

I am now at a point where I am re-learning my limits, my boundaries, and my headspace capacity - just for now, it’s all transient. As we know, all emotions are evanescent. But while we are experiencing them, they are very real indeed. Self-care and learning to say no are major changes for me. A self-care bubble bath is one thing, but pulling back on things you enjoy, turning down invites, and listening to your mind AND body takes a change in mindset and conscious effort, not to mention, at times, an inner battle with disappointment, and let’s be honest - fear of missing out.

We are creatures of biology; our bodies and our minds are constantly changing, particularly women, which requires us to remain students of our health and well-being throughout.

A podcast I absolutely recommend you take the time to listen to - I listened over several days during my afternoon walks, and it’s now saved in order to re-listen and further absorb - is the Diary of a CEO with Dr. Stacy Sims. An exercise physiologist, nutrition scientist, and expert in female-specific nutrition and exercise. A mind-blowing wealth of knowledge, and I guarantee that if you listen, you will experience multiple “Aha!” moments of symptoms or issues you have experienced explained in a biologically scientific way, not only validating them to some extent but also reassuring you that it’s part of this process.

We are incredibly fortunate to be going through this time in our lives in this day and age. I’m certain my grandmothers just quietly battled on privately, and I know a lady from my book group’s grandmother was sectioned - put in a mental asylum by her own husband - for being hysterical! The poor woman was most likely experiencing hormonal changes! It doesn’t bear thinking about!

So while today’s post is a long way from the usual content you will find here on the blog, I hope that it reaches out to someone who needs to read it. Or that it’s passed on to a friend you know could benefit. Or that you take the time to listen to the podcast linked and educate yourself further on such an important topic.

Please feel free to message if you have anything you’d like to add or query or discuss. We are all in this together.

I am incredibly grateful to have the support of loving friends and family and the Everyday Contentment community here on the Blog.

The images today are just little snippets of beauty from my week. There is always everyday ordinary magic to be found even when it’s an uphill day.

Till next week x

Quality over quantity, timeless pieces, and a cost per wear mindset

Sun, 23 Feb 2025 07:34:00 GMT

During a somewhat arduous week, a walk with my eldest daughter punctuated one late afternoon. We often take walks together, and as she steps confidently into adulthood, I truly treasure these moments spent together chatting and being in nature.

This particular evening, we were on the topic of formal balls and the all-important DRESS.

Last year, the poor girl attended her first ball, and that week she and most of her friends came down with the flu and spent their special evening feeling decidedly under par - even though they were still very elegant and glamorous.

Her grandmother had very generously treated her to a beautiful dress we had happened upon by chance when we weren’t even in the market for one - she tried it on on a whim, and it fitted like a glove.

So during our conversation on the walk, I was so delighted - and rather proud - to hear my daughter express her opinions on high-quality, well-made, timeless garments. To the point where when I suggested she sell last year’s dress, I was immediately reprimanded, as apparently that one is being kept forever. “As a classic cut and well-made piece, it can serve her for many years to come - even if it occasionally requires tailoring with inevitable changing body shapes.”

It was so refreshing in this world of fast fashion to hear a teenager value quality over quantity, to understand the fundamental value in that.

To have an appreciation of what makes you and your unique body shine is quite a mature thing to grasp - to not wish to look like everyone else your age and to have a little identity and an edge while appreciating quality, timeless garments - investments certainly, but a buy once buy right strategy for formal gowns and such, and recognizing and valuing quality.

A cost-per-wear mindset can be really useful in these situations when debating investing in a piece you will hopefully have and enjoy for many years, be it a well-fitted pair of jeans, a classic trench, or a beautiful gown. If you break it down in that capacity, it can really help you focus and decide if something is worth the investment - or if that cheaper item is really worth the quick fix when, with a little patience and possibly a bit of research, a much better alternative may be well worth investing a little more.

Sadly today, our anticipated treat of a foray into our favorite high-end department store in the city, with its sweeping staircases, iconic displays, and luxury brands - an elevated shopping experience historically - was a shell of its former glory. Times are changing, and these grand businesses can no longer support their exclusive brands and variety of extensive stock with a lack of clientele, shopping habits evolving, and waves of recession and less disposable income in general.

While the fragrance counters were still glittering and wafts of expensive scent mingled, the women’s couture and in particular formal gowns were all tucked away in storage and not on the floor displayed. The upper floors were dark and soulless and cordoned off, scaffolding and roadworks framed the once imposing and grand exterior, and our ball gown mission was soon, disappointingly, abandoned.

I genuinely feel bereft. A dying breed of these Old Dames of elevated department stores - owned and run by families for generations. Another one as good as emptied out and packed away, no grandeur or sense of occasion left anymore.

I feel grateful that for as many years as we were able to enjoy it, it was an intrinsic part of family traditions and special outings - always a leisurely browse among the floors and refreshments at the in-store restaurant during our annual outing to the Christmas Ballet - usually the nutcracker, other big shows and concerts, visits to Father Christmas, sparkling festive window displays, and first ball dresses.

I am grateful that my eldest got to experience the lavish fitting rooms with her first special dress, walking away with a thick glossy bag tied with an opulent ribbon.

And that these special moments instilled in my girls a sense of ceremony, quality, timeless pieces, and of “Buy once buy right”.

We are looking forward to a family trip to Melbourne in the next few weeks, so perhaps we will squeeze in some ball gown browsing too……

Wellness rituals, routines, and what I eat in a day

Fri, 14 Feb 2025 19:53:00 GMT

One of my most simple daily joys is being the first to pad downstairs very early each morning, drink a long tall glass of water to rehydrate after a nights restful (Hopefully) sleep, and to lovingly greet and feed my cats their breakfast.

This morning, as I type, I have woken before dawn, but following a much better sleep than I’ve managed lately, and with 2 of the family not here this weekend, I savored the luxurious feeling of my fresh Belgian linen sheets that only I had enjoyed last night, then brewed a cup of favorite tea as the cats enjoyed their breakfast. There is no other noise but the continuous buzz of the cicadas and the melodic song of the birds starting their morning.

After such a chaotic and full week, unsupported by decent rest despite my intentional and good sleep hygiene, and accentuated by the hot sticky summer temperatures, this morning’s peaceful tonic, leisurely tea and sense of calm is exactly what I needed to begin what is still a busy weekend- but can be enjoyed and savored by starting with a calm mind and a feeling of wellbeing.

So as my New York breakfast blend tea brewed in a favorite china cup, I reflected how much I am inspired and often enthused by other people’s routines, meal ideas and healthy habits. I frequently channel these little inspirations or ideas to keep me level and on track, or to avoid getting tired of my typical meals or fitness activities. And how important it is to keep on track especially during the busiest and most stressful times so we don’t spiral. When I’ve had a poor night’s sleep I crave carbs and sugar- and sometimes yes, I absolutely cave, but I NEVER feel better for it, and inevitably have a crash shortly after indulging.

So, keeping it succinct - I thought a post of just that might help or inspire some of you to change something up in order to stay on track with health goals or avoid a routine becoming tiresome.

Now my rituals I never tire of- these are the aspects of my day that I look forward to, that I savor and enjoy and which ground me. Such as always greeting the day upon waking ( no matter the season) by opening the two windows at each end of our bedroom to allow the morning air to circulate. Or by signaling to my body each evening after a shower and enjoying (usually ) a peppermint tea, that bedtime is approaching, and its time to wind down for the day.

Habits, however, while the whole idea is that they become ingrained and second nature, can also benefit from tweaking and changing up a little, particularly, in my opinion, when it comes to food and fitness regimens. If we get tired of these we lose enthusiasm and interest- and we cease to do them or we do them half heartedly. The lifestyle I strive to live, surrounding the cornerstone of contentment and gratitude, is a long and healthy one. I wish to look after my body so that I can enjoy doing the things I love, with the people (And furry companions) I love, for many years to come.

My goal I suppose is essentially to Futureproof my Body for Longevity as best I can.

Below is a brief rundown of how I choose to fuel my body, most of the time, and how I choose to use my body, most of the time. Consistency is key - But life is to be enjoyed too.

*I rise early typically. On a weekday I get up, and enjoy gulping down at least 600mls of water, which I then top up and take to my workout.

* I workout at home so I refill the big Ball Jar I use as my water glass and head to the home gym or the treadmill. I alternate days of running, resistance training to various degrees and difficulty, and yoga which I try to incorporate once or twice a week as a combination of stretch, strength, and mindfulness. I always feel amazing after even a short yoga session. These days my runs are not great distances, but enough for me to get my heart rate going and feel good about it. I typically run about 5KM with a walking warm-up up so Im done in about 35-40 minutes. It’s doable in my busy weekday and means after a 5am start I’m ready to jump in the shower by 6am.

I have been taking AGEMATE each morning for almost a year and its replaced all the other supplements and vitamins I used to take- plus it has a pleasant taste and ups your water intake for the morning.

* I have practiced intermittent fasting for well over 4 years now- probably closer to 5. I suppose you could loosely say I enjoyed a mid-life glow-up in my 40’s. We moved house, and it kicked off a new drive in me to be healthier and take care of myself. So I stopped drinking any alcohol entirely (Another story but something I am proud of and have never felt better about) and took my health and fitness a little more seriously. We had the space for a treadmill so I started running, and with the intermittent fasting I noticed positive changes very quickly. I steadily shed unwanted pounds, became fit, some gut issues were resolved and I felt more vibrant and happy and alive than I had in quite some time! I am far less rigid with my eating window now, but I do still pretty much adhere to a 16-8 method. (16 hours of fasting and an 8 hour eating window typically)

*Breakfast tends to be a smoothie- particularly in the warmer months. On a weekend I may indulge in protein pancakes or steel-cut oats but on a work day:

Breakfast Smoothie Ingredients:

Water
1 Scoop whey protein isolate powder (Vanilla)
1 TBS Chia seeds
1 TSP Body Bloom powder or similar
Generous handful of spinach
3/4 cup frozen berries (Usually Blueberries)
1/2 cup greek yoghurt unsweetened
Optional: 1 tbs almond butter, 1/2 Banana, 1 Tbs cacao nibs

Blend in my vitamins and transport to work in my Yeti or Hydroflask

I tend to wait to have this until around 11am to give my body time to really fast since dinner the previous evening.

Lunch:

Typically a fresh salad with protein-

Lunch Salad Ingredients:

Generous handful of mixed lettuce
Cucumber
1/2 Tbs Quality Mayo
Dash of olive oil, salt and pepper
Diced tomatoes
Green onion finely sliced
Maybe cubes of feta, olives, Canned Tuna, Shredded roast chicken, hot smoked salmon. I aim for 30g protein minimum per meal and plenty of fibre.

Snack

I try not to snack but If I know I cant last I might have a green Juice (Recipe below) a small handful of roast almonds, and cut up apple sprinkled with cinnamon, a CHIEF collagen bar if I’m on the go, or if I’m truly famished, some greek yogurt with a sprinkle of No-Grain-Ola and some fresh fruit.

Green Juice- Thum-sized piece fresh ginger, 1 Grannie smith apple cored, juice 1/2 a lemon, 2 big handfuls spinach or baby kale. Blast until smooth. Serve over ice.

Rain or shine I walk every afternoon for at least an hour. I also take an adult ballet class and play golf at least once a week which I love and is the social aspect of my fitness as well as mindfulness really. A treat on a weekend is a big long walk with no time restrictions and maybe even a coffee.

Dinner

We are a busy family with so many extracurricular activities between us (to to mention various dietary requirements like Gluten Free and fuss pots!) but my favorite simple dinner would be:

Fresh snapper filet, dredged in seasoned gluten-free flour. Pan-fried or done on the BBQ hot plate - no cooking smells and fewer dishes!

Carrot puree- Cook down 4 medium peeled dice carrots per person until tender, add a knob of butter and salt, and a tiny bit of the cooking water. Blitz to a smooth puree. Top with the fish and if you’ve cooked the fish in a skillet, use the pan juices to make a speedy reduction of butter, a dash of white wine, pepper, and capers to drizzle over. SOOO good.

A family favorite is Sticky Chicken- clearly, we are in summery mode here as this is another BBQ dish.

Allow 1/2-1 Chicken breast per serving. Dice chicken into large chunks and place in a bowl.

The marinade is very much an “eye balled’ and “winged” affair depending on what you have to hand.

Honey, mustard, soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce, fresh garlic, dash BBQ sauce, olive oil, herbs, whatever takes your fancy. Cook on the hot plate until cooked through and deliciously sticky and black on the outside. Toss through buttery spaghetti, and serve with crusty bread, a green salad, or zero noodles.

Dessert.

I try not to but often crave a sweet something so if I have pre-prepared my banana bites I may enjoy one of those, or a square of dark chocolate (Minimum 70%), or a decadent chocolate truffle with peppermint tea after a shower.

Banana Bite:

In a silicone mini muffin pan;

1 slice banana, top with 1 tsp crunchy peanut butter, and drizzle over melted dark chocolate. Freeze and enjoy as an ice cream-like dessert.

At night I alternate between peppermint tea and Metagenics CALMX magnesium powder.

On evenings I have time and am feeling prepared for the following day, I like to do a gentle 10-minute stretch before my shower.

I hope you’ve found one or two elements to take away from today’s post whether its to rise a little early, or to throw your windows open first thing, to re-asses the supplements you’re currently taking, or recipe inspiration.

Until next week.

An ordered home is an ordered mind... but also...

Sat, 08 Feb 2025 07:44:00 GMT

My notes for today’s post - a task and topic I’ve been pondering and indeed looking forward to all week, are somewhat redundant as I sit down to type on this balmy, warm and still evening, the cacophony of cicadas still very much telling their summer story.

I think—I hope—we are all friends here, and while the entire ethos of this blog and my books is about simplicity, joy, and savoring everyday loveliness, I do very genuinely and consciously show up to my days seeking those qualities, paying attention to the little details, and endeavoring to keep a good, positive outlook and be reflective, I too have my challenges.

This week, I have felt the pressure of life building, the busyness creeping back in, and the to-do lists starting to take too prominent a place.

So, while I had felt the compulsion to spend the weekend getting stuck into some home organization tasks, primarily my wardrobe (Yes, again. I like to keep abreast of this task every 2-3 months, go through with a critical eye, edit, cull, and rearrange according to season and usage and occasion.), my reality was that after such a full week, I was spent. My nerves were a little frayed, I was emotionally and physically drained and needed quiet space; time at home.

I gratefully enjoyed a long and restorative night’s sleep last night and woke to a stunning, hot summer day. A day that was not calling to be spent indoors - let alone a walk-in wardrobe or Butler’s pantry - re-arranging and organizing. And while I absolutely know how much the knock-on of having these areas spick and span and orderly affects my mindset and productivity- and positivity- today was not the day.

Today was a day to savor summer. To spend with family at home. To find the joy in bringing in the laundry off the line so warm from the sun it felt like it was fresh from the drier, to deadhead some plants around the porch, to relax over a cool drink in the shade with a visitor who popped by, to take a pre-dinner walk then cook on the BBQ and eat alfresco. I still accomplished several indoor tasks - at intervals, but with no strict list or schedule, and I encouraged myself to have a “clean enough” mindset. I freshened the bathrooms, but I didn’t scrub the showers on my hands and knees as the mercury soared. I ran a few errands but was very brief in my outing and went early enough to escape the crowds and the heat. I prepared dinner with every door and window in the house open to catch the breeze and paused often to pet my cats and talk to them- slid them a tidbit even. I even decided that the book I had been reading as our chosen Ladies Book Club pick just wasn’t what I needed. I’d persevered long enough. It really isn’t that important if I don’t finish it before our next meeting - so I picked up a Cosy Mystery paperback I’d bought a few weekends back on that rainy Sunday instead.

Sometimes we need to remember to take our own advice - go a little easier on ourselves. Let up a bit. Take time to breathe.

I needed that today.

I needed to feel the pressure ease. And I wanted to cherish and savor this blissful summery day. All too soon those tell-tale signs of Autumn will be starting to make an appearance - the grass under the clothesline won’t be warm under my bare feet. It’ll be too cool out come dinner time to sit on the deck. I’ll need to use the dryer to dry the bed linens.

SO relish in today. Absorb all the goodness today has to offer. Sometimes that’s just what you need to do.

My wardrobe will get done - and will feel fabulous and spur me on to other organizational tasks no doubt as it usually does, the butler’s pantry is a perfect rainy day task - it can wait. It’s tidy enough. Good enough.

The house is clean and orderly. The laundry is up to date (Always, I can’t help myself.) Fresh sheets are waiting to greet me on the bed soon, and the Garage has been swept and tidied - enough.

So my anticipated post of before and after photographs of my curated and organized wardrobe will have to wait, and while I do not have that lovely buzz you get from accomplishing that kind of task or project, or the drive to keep ticking off areas requiring some attention or home organizing, I do have an overwhelming (in a good way) sense of peace and tranquility. A feeling of calm. A definite feeling of a summer’s day well spent. Savored.

And there is still all of tomorrow to enjoy before the new week begins.

It’s ok to not always accomplish everything on the list you have written for yourself. Sometimes it’s more important to allow yourself a day with more drifting and less ticking.

I have a feeling I’ll be doubly productive tomorrow as a result.

Focusing on our to be list, rather than our to do list

Sat, 01 Feb 2025 04:54:00 GMT

Designing an everyday life we love is a vitally important skill to master if we are to live a life of contentment. Because it is the everydays and the routines and the habits and rituals in our daily life which we reside for the vast majority of our time here on earth.

This may seem an insurmountable goal if we are stuck in a daily grind from which we are currently deriving little joy, a job we don’t like, or a financial situation we are struggling to improve. However, this is exactly my point. It is the ability to re-focus our thinking and re-frame the seemingly mundane, which will enable us to see the joy, the beauty, the worth and ultimately obtain a level of true contentment and gratefulness in our ‘ordinary’ days and lives.

Once we begin to practice this life skill- and it is just that- we become better at it. It’s like a muscle, not only does it gain strength and definition, but it also retains a certain amount of muscle memory- so even if we stumble, it becomes easier and more natural to be able to get right back on track.

The simplest steps observed and taken regularly, daily, will start to strengthen your ability to see things from a more joyous position. finding the good, and as we have talked about in previous posts here on the blog- finding the ordinary magic in our everydays becomes second nature.

Gratitude is not about what you have, it’s about truly valuing what you do have.

This change won’t happen overnight- indeed it’s essentially a lifelong project, it requires constant fine-tuning and re focussing- but it will become so ingrained in us, so much a part of the way we think, that finding the joy in the simplest of things will become second nature. A butterfly life cycle, a transformation allowing new growth and perspective- and of course, beauty.

Try to find one thing every morning before you get into work that you really appreciate for its beauty, for the spark of joy it provides you - however fleetingly. It may be the aroma of the freshly ground coffee, the rumble of an appreciative kitty, pulling over or pausing on your commute to admire the sky- it doesn’t have to be picture perfect- I find big dark voluptuous rain clouds as staggeringly beautiful as whispy white streaks in a deep blue sky. Whatever it is you can consciously focus on, acknowledge how it makes you feel and savour that delicious moment- being fully present as you do so. Try this every morning, and every evening, consider journalling, sharing at the dinner table one thing from each family or household member that was good about their day or that they feel gratitude for- or even just uttering a small calming mantra before turning in for the night.

On our recent rainy day bookstore outing, I picked up a delightful little book- a one-line-a-day five-year memory book. Each entry is a few short lines, to just jot down a few things to remember and be thankful for. A positive place. I have it on my nightstand with a pretty pen with copper ink and look forward to a peaceful moment just as I settle into bed each evening to read.

Its all too easy- and I myself need constant reminders, to not get bogged down with the to do lists, but to enjoy this precious time we have on earth. I’m not suggesting we don’t complete our chores and things we need to do in order for work and home life to run smoothly and efficiently, but we can come at it from a different attitude. If we work on reframing it, and putting the weight of our subconscious on how we want to be, how we want to show up in our own lives, what we prioritize, dream of, and desire, that what we ‘need’ to do just becomes a part of that process, as opposed to overshadowing any creativity, dreams or aspirations with the sinking feeling we all know of…but I can’t possibly I have to ….. ***fill in the blanks. We’ve all been there. The overwhelm grows- but the more we let it the more it takes hold and the faster it envelops us.

If we practice these few simple techniques, over time we start to notice the differences, we start to observe the good and the beauty without looking for it, we start to re-focus so that the good and positive becomes louder than the mundane and the dreary and it eventually slinks off into the background. Leaving us to have a clarity on how we wish to design a life we love living. How we want to feel in our days. Giving us the courage to say no to things we don’t want and to embrace new exciting prospects and challenges, even those as sweetly simple as taking coffee outside each morning with the paper.

It might start with something as freeing as a daily walk, a decadent chocolate truffle with peppermint tea each evening, a bubble bath every Friday after the work week, a fresh croissant every Saturday; and then shape this into more prominent rituals as time goes along, shaping how your everyday looks and FEELS. Even if you are still in the same job, living in the same house, driving the same car. If we choose to love the life we live, we ultimately will be living a life of contentment and of our own intent and design.

Take that first step. Picture how you want to show up to tomorrow, then set about making those minute changes in mindset, then develop the rituals, then habits, and watch it unfurl gratefully. Think about the life cycles of a butterfly, the magical metamorphosis that transpires when that plump caterpillar finds its special spot in which to cacoon itself, with total faith and complete submission that with patience, will emerge an entirely different creature- able to soar and swoop and have an entirely different view of the world. The change enables a vast opportunity for growth and new perspective, unlocking a pathway, previously unseen, to embracing beauty and new potential.

Healthy pancake recipe (GF, DF, high protein)

Sat, 25 Jan 2025 21:57:00 GMT

Gluten free, dairy free and sugar free recipe. No guilt or sore tummies involved.

You will need:

1 ripe banana

1 scoop protein powder of choice (I use vanilla protein whey isolate)

1 egg

1Tbs Almond meal

Splash water or nut milk if required

1 pinch salt

Optional- 1 tbs chis seeds, 1/2 cup frozen blueberries

Method

Mash the banana well with a fork, combine all other ingredients, and mix well. If using- fold berries through when the ix is thoroughly combined. If it’s a very thick consistency ad a dash of water or plant-based milk.

Heat a skillet/ frying pan on medium-low heat with a teaspoon or so of coconut oil, butter or ghee.

Add generous tablespoonfuls of mixture until nicely browned on the bottom side, then flip. Press lightly with a spatula to ensure even cooking.

Cooking times vary but around 2-3 minutes on each side is ample. Just watch they don’t catch.

Serve with stewed fruit, fresh berries, a dollop of Greek or coconut yogurt, nuts, and a drizzle of maple syrup to satisfy your sweet tooth if desired.

Enjoy.

The Martha Stewart Effect

Sat, 25 Jan 2025 02:06:00 GMT

For most of my adult life, Martha Stewart has been a key influence and inspiration to me- along with countless others. A mentor of sorts. The first time one of our guests made a tongue-in-cheek remark about “ eat your heart out Martha Stewart” I swelled with pride.

Everything she did seemed effortless, always turned out perfectly and was unquestionably chic. Above all, it embraced and celebrated creating a beautiful home- and taking joy and pride in doing so.

Several years ago I read her biography, before I became a parent a little not-so-guilty pleasure was to watch her daily show on days I had a spare moment, and when my girls were younger, she was a massive part of my home organization, cooking and decorating influence and inspiration. A Halloween party - in our then much smaller home- which - if I say so myself- rivaled many, and was SUCH fun- if a little time-consuming!

I find myself this year, (And with a clarity this week becoming apparent as my husband is out of town and my work steeps up a gear) feeling that what I am striving for is just out of reach, just not quite attainable, not enough hours in the day to accomplish the have- to’s, wants, needs, musts and would -like- to’s. My mind is like my laptop- too many tabs open, even random music coming from somewhere. So it was rather apt, and very much noted, that on the one evening, I was able to quietly sit for 1/2 an hour before heading up to bed, a Martha Stewart Documentary popped up.

I sat, with my china cup of peppermint tea, watching in awe as she confidently talked to the interviewer. She held their gaze. She sat with silence at times- comfortable and uncomfortable ones. She showed a hard nosed business woman as well as a vulnerable emotional lady. But what really struck me a new, was her purpose- her drive, was to make every day living beautiful, pleasurable and accessable to everyone.

She coined, copywrited and branded the phrase Everyday living.

When questioned about her chosen niche and area of expertise in home making, style and everyday living she said simply:

“It has always been for me, a very serious subject”

This somewhat formidable business mogul, and first female billionaire, was wildly successful because she met the needs and dreams and aspirations of millions of people- mostly women. Over a subject and topic previously deemed frivolous, worthless and unimportant.

Filling a need for yourself and then realizing that you are helping and serving others who also need it or are seeking it.

“Its a good thing.” A slogan coined by Martha encompasses all that we seek in our everyday lives. The little bright joy-filled nuggets of everyday.

The company business plan for Martha Stewart Living was designed around a solar system with her at the center. What admirable confidence and gumption for a woman, to carry an enormous enterprise and brand, purely on her namesake and everyday skills and passion for good things.

From an ordinary and rather modest upbringing, to a home-based catering company, to the world’s first billionaire business woman on the stock exchange.

Not always displaying characteristics I would aspire to or welcome, but the drive and confidence and the passion. The conviction of her belief that everyday living was a good thing, and something achievable by anyone who wished to, is such a continued inspiration to me; renewed again by this documentary. Giving me a fresh drive, spark, and enthusiasm to keep pursuing my vocation, my message, and my intentions. Intentions rather than a goal as a goal has an endpoint, it has a finality to a completion, what I strive for is a lifelong way of living. a lifestyle, filled with life, and style, and gratitude, joy and a peaceful contentedness.

A little and often. Keep learning, and growing knowledge and skills. Its not all or nothing, its something always.

So, if needs be, please forgive me a brief pause in posts, while I pursue what I need to in order to create content and writing to reach further and spread my message wider. This was a vocation she pursued and strived for-and still -is over decades, even a prison sentence! And she’s still going!

I believe there are truly so many readers out there who can benefit, seek comfort, inspiration or a little calm from what I want to be able to offer.

Thanks Martha. I needed that nudge.

Right on your doorstep: an opportunity to look at your everyday

Thu, 16 Jan 2025 01:51:00 GMT

On my afternoon walk yesterday, following mowing lawns and before hosting book club, I was taken aback a new as to how fortunate and thus grateful I am to live where I do, and have trails such as the one I was walking along, literally on my doorstep.

It was a warm Wednesday, but before schools and universities start their academic year and when many people are on holiday or taking annual summer leave, so I passed many people who were fairly apparently not locals per se.

While I consciously observe and appreciate the big expanses of sea, sky and native bush, along with the tiny details of an unfurling leaf, an iridescent beetle, the bird song- each and every time I am enjoying one of my daily walks- I rarely look upon them these days from an ‘outsiders’ view. Yes from a place of wonder but not always from a place of obvious privilege.

With everything going on in the world and on the news sometimes its hard to refocus on our immediate environment. Some of these fellow walkers were holiday makers and tourists from around the globe, some were perhaps from just across town, but few were in the fortunate position I was in that I walked from my home, within 10 minutes of my front door I am at the beginning of this native bush track up to an incredible series of viewpoints overlooking the Manukau heads, local beaches and ooodles of pristine native bush.

I came across a term while listening to a podcast recently (Stories form the village of nothing much)

The word Sonder, which was coined by the author and neologist John Koenig in his work, The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. Described as follows: Sonder, noun, the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own, populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries, and inherited craziness, an epic story that continues invisibly around you, like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

The word and its meaning resonated with me as I observed these people, all walking the same trail but all with different life stories- most, if not all of which, I will never know and possibly never cross paths with again. Something about that realization- which is not a revelation as such, and an everyday occurrence for the majority of us, just gave me pause to think. To step back and see what I am so blessed with and have already in my life, and to allow enough space in my mind to re balance and reevaluate the few niggles and worries and outside stressors that have been building and resurfacing of late.

As the summer days draw nearer the start of the new academic year, signaling getting back into our busy everyday routines and lives and schedules and work patterns sooner than we’d perhaps like, it is prudent to remind ourselves to be thankful for everything that is going well, what’s right, what we have in abundance, friendships, loves, food in the fridge, a home, a job, the sun is shining, whatever it may be that you can use as an anchor- to realize that to these passers by, whom all have their own stories, and that we are in our own, and we can make it what we want it to be. Take a moment, or several, even note down if it helps- what is making you feel stressed, anxious or over committed. Be really honest with yourself and once you can see this “list” you can start shaping and forming it in to how you would prefer it to look- how you would like to feel. Imagine yourself waking to the realization that you are in control of these outward stress factors, and that your actions and mindset directly change, challenge or mould how your day will unfold. Granted there are always external events or pressures or situations we are not fully in control of - but what we can do is control our response to them. Have a plan, a mantra or a ritual that helps you achieve this in micro ways each and every day, in turn, allowing the bigger dreams and aspirations to develop and breathe and have room to grow.

Step fully into your own life, allow yourself to let go of what doesn’t serve your dreams, and channel your positive energies into leading a healthful life, making deep personal connections, and feeling true contentment in your everydays. This needn’t be grand or complex. Its about being true to who you are and aspiring to fulfil your potential and savor the life you have been given to its fullest.

Dare to dream, then put measures and systems in place to help you realistically achieve those hopes and dreams.

There are another 11 or so months of this year, so this morning I sat with my coffee and my new diary, and as I entered various events, holidays and commitments, I was mindful of the full potential simmering away ready for its chance- its outlet, as soon as I was able to focus on what it was I truly wanted it to look like, how I am hoping to feel as this new year comes to a close come December. What will I regret not having embarked upon or given my full attention too. What might I feel frustrated with myself about. What do I value most and what is important to me.

It won’t land in our laps, and it won’t necessarily be easy- most good things require hard work and are worth working for. This may in turn require some sacrifices, letting go, re allocating your time or even finances to get closer to achieving your goal. One thing is for sure- not much will change unless you point yourself in the right direction and take the next best step.

Now is the perfect opportunity and timing to cast your dreams into the universe, and see what magic comes back to you.

Bring the magic with you; 10 ways to approach health and wellness in 2025

Tue, 14 Jan 2025 00:11:00 GMT

Having returned this past weekend from a wonderful summery beach week on the eve of my 47th birthday (!) I spent many moments on my long daily walks reflecting; reflecting on the big picture of life as my birthday drew near, and on the smaller details, the little pleasures, the milestones and of ambitions and acquiring new life skills, and relishing the daily ordinary magic -savoring the sense of time and space with which to do so, surrounded by such natural beauty and in one of my most treasured places on earth.

I was mindful of being present, listening to the distant happy barks of dogs enjoying their first walks of the day, the scent of woodsmoke feint in the air from the dying embers of last night’s bonfire, the salty tang of the breeze along the shoreline, squwarks of the oystercatchers at dawn and dusk calling to each other, the warm sun on my skin, the cool lapping of the waves at my toes, and the constant soothing rhythm of the waves reaching the shore throughout.

I felt I could stay forever. The only missing piece was to have a pup of my own to walk ….one day.

But, BUT. Life does resume its normal rhythms and rituals. I love my home and my community, and I’m so fortunate to have a loving family and a delightful place to live. But I long for the simplicity of our idyllic summer beach lives.

I picked up little treasures most days, which I carefully transported home, so that when I see them here in my house, I can be transported back, hear the wind in the lines along a favorite trail, feel the salt air and the call of the gulls, and take big, deep, restorative breaths. It was my intention to have these little Portkeys (For those who aren’t in the know, a Portkey is an enchanted, yet everyday object that instantly transports anyone who touches it to a specific location) So that as I passed a pebble on the hallway table, the dried seagrass on the landing, the collection of feathers in the hallway or the pinecone on the dresser, I could instantly imagine myself there, taking deep lungfuls of the freshest air, and feel the sense of calm and ease wash over me.

With an immanent busy and demanding return to work on the horizon, I knew I needed to equip myself with the tools to not only cope, but flourish, and be open to this brand new year.

I release what no longer serves me, I am open to clarity, growth and abundance.

So, I came up with an idea during these walks to inspire and spur us on for this bright new month and indeed year, of health, wellbeing, and longevity. To spring out of the sluggish indulgence that can often follow Christmas festivities- yes, even when it’s not sub-zero outside, and to provide some tools and strategies to keep things light, mindful, and healthful going forward.

We must learn and educate ourselves and be mindful of the interwoven relationship of our two greatest assets. Mind and Body. A healthy body requires an equally healthy mind, without which we cannot live our best life, The two go hand in hand, caring for our bodies includes our minds.

Find your portkey, and let’s positively step into 2025 together, sharing tips and tools, growing our knowledge, discovering beauty in the every day and finding magic- Supporting one another in our community of like-minded folks.

Below is a list of some good tools and springboards to help propel us into a healthful year.

Sleep. Try to get 7-9 hours of quality sleep.

Limit screens at least an hour before bed, dim lights, try to establish a sleep routine so your body can learn when it’s time to sleep and in turn, to wake. Consider taking magnesium supplements and having a gentle stretch shortly before turning out the light. Backtrack from the time you need to wake up to plan what time is best to get ready for bed and “lights out’.

2. Protein. You’re likely having far less than your body requires.

Use an online calculator to see what recommendations are for your height, weight, and age. Only have protein from clean, sustainable and lean whole/complete protein sources- fish, chicken, quality protein powders, beef, lamb, tempeh, eggs, greek yoghurt or skyr. Supplement these with additional sources - not all are considered complete protein ( - so pay extra attention if you’re vegetarian or vegan. ) Beans and legumes, cheeses, nuts and seeds, and tofu. I personally aim for around 90-100gms per day- roughly 30 in a meal. This might look like a scoop of whey protein isolate in my smoothie with Greek yoghurt, a chicken salad with chickpeas, steamed fish and vegetables.

3. Up your leafy greens. You pretty much can’t have too much.

Add spinach to kale to smoothies or salads. Have a side salad with lunch, sneak vegetables into most dishes by grating to sauteeing, and consider a greens powder for a boost.

4. Movement. Don’t shy away from the word exercise, just MOVE your body. Regularly throughout the day.

Its better to keep moving periodically throughout the day than a huge intensity say at 6am then being sedentary for the remainder. On a typical day I work out first thing- which I vary, then I will walk, play golf or go to a ballet class every afternoon or evening- pretty much without exception, regardless of the weather. I also break up my day with short n=bouts of movement- shorter walks, take the stairs not a lift, walk to the store, housework even, then a gentle stretch, yoga session or just an amble after dinner is a good way to space it out. Even try 10 squats every time you boil the kettle - it soon adds up!

5. HYDRATE! It’s full summer here and I’m continually parched!

I drink at least 600mls room temperature water upon waking, then ensure I’m drinking plenty throughout the day. I limit coffee to 2 a day- one espresso first thing, then an americano or a flat white with oat milk later on, green tea, electrolytes, sparkling water, tea, tisane- all counts. Look out for hidden sugars and stay away from soda and fruit juice as much as possible.

6. Read. Learn.

Grow your mind- listen to an educational podcast, try a new skill, read non-fiction, watch a foreign movie, go to a live theatre production, or play a word game. There are studies proving those people who continue to learn and grow and develop their minds are less likely to suffer Alzheimers or even depression later in life. Keep learning. You’re never too old.

7. Skincare. Look after your one and only

Whether you’re into makeup or lotions and potions or not- use the best and cleanest quality products you can afford, and use them daily. Cleanse, exfoliate and moisturize. Use sunscreen, wear a hat outdoors and take care of your biggest organ.

8. Likewise- teeth! Look after them. limit sugar. Brush and floss, Regular checkups. Done.

9. Meditation and mindful practices.

I would love to meditate and I’m working on the practice, but I’m no good- yet. However, I find my ritual of daily walks my place of peace and mindfulness, when I process, dream aspire and let go. Find your version and make it a regular habit.

10. Connect.

Connections are so important. I have a darling loving husband but my friends are so important to me- we inspire and support each other, laugh, share interests and enjoy each other’s company. And while online communities such as this can be beautiful and rewarding, nothing compares to sitting next to someone, seeing a smiling face, or sharing an experience.

Bonus: Release what no longer serves you. Be open to abundance.

A little beauty spot

Fri, 03 Jan 2025 08:50:00 GMT

A somewhat “frivolous” post today, 3 days into the new year. I have so many topics, subjects, thoughts and ponderings whirring around that I’m excited to discuss and explore over the coming months, but for today, a brief little jaunt into my makeup bag.

As a woman who is embracing perimenopause, living her best life endeavouring to get plenty of good nutrition, exercise and quality sleep into my every days- it had become clear to me that during this transition and time of change, my skin has also jumped on the waggon.

I have experienced hyper pigmentation (Melasma) with increasing prominence and depth of colour ever= since I had my girls, something I have learned, for the most part, to live with, deal with, or conceal reasonably well. Other than that I have been incredibly fortunate to suffer very little with any skin issues throughout all my years so far- even the teenage ones. But with this change in season of life, a few little niggles- or observations, if you will, have come to make themselves known.

My eyelids became acutely sensitive, and even the high quality, trusted brands of eye shadows I have enjoyed using for years started to irritate, and if I didn’t adjust the products was left with incredibly sore, swollen skin around the delicate eye area. Not pleasent to experience and also frustrating not using some of my lovelier makeup- especially for evening wear or special occasions.

My eye-makeup remover - again, a product I’d used for many years, suddenly became stingy and left my eyes burning and red.

On top of this my skin in general was constantly thirsty, dry even after applying moisturiser, or lotion.

So, I had to make some changes and adjust the products I used to accomodate my changing skins requirements. Changing to balms, creams and liquids over anything powdery or drying.

First step was to switch out my old faithful Clarins make up remover for the Bobbi Brown cleansing balm. An thick gel consistency, which although perfumed seems to replenish not strip as it removes the traces of makeup before I step into my evening shower.

I have had to abandon entirely the concealer Ive used for several years as after a few hours it began to look cakey and accentuate fine lines around the eye area.

We are in full simmer here at present so my skin care routine in the morning -after washing my face - is to apply a daytime moisturiser (Bobbi Brown face Base) followed by al roche posay sun screen tinted in SPF50.

I Have progressed to a cream blush and I was using a Chanel Soleil cream bronzer but when it was time to replace it I came across a bronzer- which is still a powder- by Terry, but with the benefits of providing hydration. Its buildable, long lasting and a beautiful colour- though at a rather higher price point.

My latest addition which I am thrilled with I stumbled across having eliminated eye shadow entirely- even creams and pencils and smudge sticks- as everything was irritating and was causing a reaction to a point. This tiny bottle is the ultimate le no make up look tool! It provided an incredibly subtle coverage of my lids, masking any redness or tiny thread veins, and feels like silk to apply. Its a brand I had never come across (Probably well known to those who follow trends and new releases but to me a gem of a find) Perricone MD. No make up eyeshadow. Available in 4 shades, and Im so taken with it I have ordered a lighter shade to play with too!

Their lip oil is a subtle and luxurious, your lips but better, so I have splurged on 2 of the shades.

The packaging is minimal, and the whole ethos is to enhance what you have so subtly as to almost not notice you are wearing any makeup at all- which, I have come to realise, as a woman in my age and stage in life, is probably the best approach on the every day. Sparkle and glamour should probably be kept for evening and special occasions . As far as I can tell the ingredients are pretty clean, and the products are formulated to put goodness back into the skin rather than take from it.

A last little cherry on the cake is my latest fragrance discovery- again something I happened upon without really looking while travelling overseas and fell for it in a way I haven’t for a fragrance for many years. I adore perfumes and fragrances and love to peruse glossy departments stores and walk around in a cloud at duty free, but this one spoke to me- and simultaneously my husband. I last on my skin subtly, but all day, and I always receive compliments when I wear it. In theory its a limited edition- so my husband bing the lovely man he is, has sourced another 2 bottles for me to eek out and hopefully last quite some time! Again, its light, and naturally derived, and I don’t know anyone else who wears it so its become my new signature scent after decades of Coco Chanel.

Its actually been quite a fulfilling and pleasing journey to find and build my new repertoire of staples and embrace the changes.

The beauty of each season

Fri, 20 Dec 2024 01:51:00 GMT

As we wrap up this year, and wind down while simultaneously winding up for Christmas, Ive been pondering the inevitable, predictable and comforting cycles in life.

I happily spent a hot afternoon in the garden (post Christmas shopping in the city for the morning) trimming and cutting back my prolific hydrangeas, which were delightfully providing a nodding sea of blousy white pom poms on our driveway. They had reached a point in their abundance where the branches were so laden with blooms we could scarcely get the cars through without batting the wing mirrors against them and - in my husbands case- fearful of scratching the cars.

We’d spent a pleasant morning in the heart of the city, armed with a Christmas wish list, and arriving before the shops opened in order to escape the crowds and the heat of the day. Feeling accomplished and a glittering glow of Christmas cheer, we paused for an alfresco coffee in the dappled shade of a street side terraced cafe before making our way home, the boot of the car laden with secrets.

It was thoroughly enjoyable but coming home to the coolth of the shady porch, changing into denim shorts and a singlet, donning a wide brimmed sunhat and heading into the garden with a cat for company, was blissful.

I had to trim back no less than 2 barrow loads of branches and blooms, and as I watched them wilting in the hot sun- as were the cat and myself by now - I pondered the significance of their lesson:

Beauty in abundance in each season, but a period of abundance is often followed by that of dormancy; both necessary for the wellbeing of the plant and its future growth, fortitude and beauty.

While it seemed so sad, and brutal even, to cut back so ruthlessly, I was able to offer a generous armful for neighbours and friends to collect for their vases, and to adorn their homes, to be enjoyed further, even if just for a little while.

The driveway looks neater, and well manicured and maintained now, the white blooms are still prolific and just starting to tinge with a hit of blue as we transition into full summer, the bushes are happily still busily producing new buds and shoots, and the bees are busy finding new flowers to land on.

The Hydrangeas will gradually turn from white, to the palest of blue, to a deep sky blue, and finally to a dapple mauve and purple hue, before browning entirely and becoming skeletons of their summer abundance. Storing their nutrients and energy ready to burst forth again next year.

Tea Break

We can look to these cycles as metaphors for our own life’s rhythms and patterns. As one part of our story concludes and another begins, the past chapters are now closed but have brought us to a new place, moving forward into something even more fulfilling, stepping more fully each time into our true selves, roots strengthening, and new shoots reaching out and upwards each time a cycle of growth is completed.

So the big blousy blooms I cut back are not wasted, they were enjoyed and observed in their prime, and made way for the next season or new growth.

I am so looking forward to the “between the years” week, as we finally will reach a point where we have no commitments, social engagements or have to’s by Boxing day- (I know!)

So I may take a little break from the blog while I work on my writing further, read the novels I have stacked up, and enjoy living with no time constraints or obligations for a few delicious weeks.

Wishing you a peaceful festive season, and a new year of new opportunity, new growth, and brand new chapters to freshly open.

Positive thoughts: like priming a pump

Sat, 14 Dec 2024 08:00:00 GMT

I am grateful you have found me and my little corner of calm, peace, and contentment.

In finding this you must be someone who cares about the things I care about- and value gentleness, mother nature, and all the small, good things life has to offer.

Have you ever noticed that if you consciously start your day with positivity- an uplifting thought, more begin to flow naturally?

Much like priming a pump, once you have one, another will follow as your mind travels and then a steady trickle will develop, and continue to flow through your day.

If a situation arises that might cause this to wane, take a pause, breathe, and begin again- and sure enough, you’ll find, with practice, it gets easier and easier to get back on track, and stay breezy, positive and grateful.

I have employed this method throughout the last enormously busy week especially, making this morning’s longed-for little outing even more special, appreciated, and wonderous.

The week has been a blur of schedules taking me across town in peak traffic daily, long days, longer evenings, and a juggle of running a home alongside it all. Snatching up the few moments spare on a commute to listen to something gentle, positive, uplifting, or funny, has really helped. Staying present and being mindful, having good conversations, and spending time with one of my daughters, have all contributed to this being a week I have enjoyed and savored not just coped with and “got through” as I might have allowed in the past.

Today has been like a balm for my soul; I woke at first light, and after a strong coffee enjoyed with my cats I took a long leisurely walk up to our village, pausing frequently along the way to observe a flower, take a photo, or greet an acquaintance. I sat people-watching with a creamy coffee, before strolling to the artisan bakery to collect freshly baked pastries to take home for a breakfast treat. En route home, I passed near a little flower stall, situated just off the main street, and in my relaxed, slower state of mind, decided to take a slight detour to see if there were any bouquets or posies left. Happily, there was just one remaining in the little wooden booth, in its mason jar of water- it was meant to be.

I felt like I was walking through a beautifully written description in a novel as I made my way the last kilometer or so home, clutching my paper bag of pastries in one hand, and the wildflowers wrapped in brown paper and sting in the other.

The entire excursion had been so very simple, so ordinary- and yet so special, exactly when I needed to soothe the hecticness of the past week.

I began this post when I first returned, then got distracted, so returned to it just now, after a simple, leisurely al fresco dinner of grilled chicken, crispy garlic new potatoes, and a big green salad. The joy keeps on bubbling- a skein of geese flew overhead moments ago, honking their calls to one another as they traveled into the setting sunlight, and now, as the light fades, a bright glorious almost full moon is just peeking through the blossom laden trees in a blush pink sky. The birds are settling for the night, the crickets are starting their Chirruping stridulations, the air is still and fresh after the heat of the day, and my cool, crisp freshly made bed awaits me.

I would be hard-pressed to conjure up a more perfect day to recover and reset from such a week.

Feeling an abundance of gratitude, and a little fizz of joyful anticipation for another equally beautiful day tomorrow.

I have a little exercise for you to try when you have a moment-

Set a timer for 1 minute and write down everything you are grateful for right now.

Now set the timer once more, and this time write down everything you’d be grateful for if you knew you’d never have it again.

Go on, try it. Shift your focus and feel the depth of the well of gratitude and abundance.

Ordinary Magic

Sun, 08 Dec 2024 05:31:00 GMT

As pressure builds during this busy time of year, even while employing techniques regualrly throughout the day of taking a pause, mentally regrouping, breath work, hydrating- and all that good stuff, its all too easy to get caught up, feel the overwhelm creeping up and go about our days in a constant state of alert, heart rates elivated and cortisol spikes a plenty.

On this, the eve of my -notoriously- busiest week of the year, I decided to spend as much of this Sunday at home, ensuring the house was clean and tidy, laundry up to date, beds all freshly made with clean linens, fridge, and pantry well stocked with good, nutritious food, the lawns mown, and a hearty family meal followed by an early night to round off the weekend.

The girls have been bust socializing at various beaches enjoying the early summer sun, and I took a walk with a podcast up a favorite shady woodland track.

On my walk, I had a good talking to myself about the week ahead:

I wanted to reframe the jam-packed week - looking at it as something to savour and enjoy, not dread or worry about before its begun.

There is no denying I will be shattered come next weekend- the week entails my regular weekday full-time job, heading straight across town when I finish there each day to don a headset and Backstage crew Tee Shirt to help at the annual dance school production until late each evening, and somewhere between the drive home and my 5am wake up my third role of homemaker, wife, and Mother- keeping the household fed, watered, clean and ticking over!

But, and Its a bug BUT: I am choosing to savour and enjoy all the little moments along the way. Im going to look for and enjoy all the Ordinary Magic - the little tiny tasks, moments and treasures we can choose to notice and enjoy in our everyday. I will no doubt look back on these years with fondness and be so very grateful I was able to participate, and share the joy of such a special time in my little dancers lives.

Spending time with my daughter doing something she loves to do; the evening drives in as the sun sets and watching the city sparkle with Christmas lights, the social aspect and comraderie of all the other parents who are doing exactly the same as me for that week, and when I return home, I intend to savor my sanctuary- making it a space in the busyness and rushing and adrenaline of performance, where kindness is commonplace, and peace prevails.

I am going to do small things each day and enjoy them greatly- even if that’s just the satisfaction of folding the line-dried washing, still warm from the day’s sun, or stepping into a hot shower after a long day, using a favorite scented soap and anticipating clinging into my long-awaited bed. The freshness of a salad I have taken the time to pack earlier in the morning as my picnic dinner by the stage door. A heart-shaped leaf I pass on my way to the theatre.

I plan to look to my furry babies in the moments of quiet, where, in their feline wisdom they never seem to get numb or ambivalent about sheer joy- a nap, a meal, a cuddle, a cozy spot to get comfortable, and the quietitude and haven of home- all equally joyous to them each and every day. I need a sprinkle of that too.

So, while I enjoy the ordinary magic of the gentle bubbling of the pot on my stove, the cicadas chirruping in the garden now the sun has dipped, and the deep sense of well-being felt after a sunny active, and productive day- I will leave you with that thought.

To seek out the ordinary magic in your everydays- to elevate, add sparkle, and a sense of such deep contentedness even in the midst of a hectic schedule.

No buy year: final month

Sat, 30 Nov 2024 08:02:00 GMT

A little extra post for December 1st as it marks the final month of my no-buy year.

I’ll be completely transparent- I failed. But not really.

Let me explain.

I failed in the sense that I did not succeed in not buying ANYTHING, or strictly speaking in only buying within the parameters I set myself last January.

However, I have learned such a lot from the last 12 months.

Firstly, for me, 12 months was rather ambitious. I realize that now totally and it dawned on me by around February…..

I didn’t take in to account how emotionally driven I can be when I shop for clothing. I knew I got a buzz, the endorphins rushed, the glow of wearing a new item or imagining oneself almost as a slightly different version. New and improved- if I buy this*** I’ll feel like ***( insert- skirt, boots, leggings, jacket, whatever!) and those very chemicals firing in our brains make us want more, do it again, purchase the next item we need.

I’m not necessarily just shopping for the buzz, but for the emotional reward. The imagined way I think I will feel when I wear the item. How I will carry myself, behave and project….

What I underestimated was all the other ways shopping, and clothing, made me feel.

Clothing is a form of self expression, and indeed in our fast-paced world its often fleeting encounters with people- no matter your standpoint on fashion or tastes- we see people as we meet them, and within that package of a smile, a handshake, a greeting- is how we present ourselves.

Tom Ford is quoted as saying

“Dressing well is a form of good manners”

I couldn’t agree more. Our urge to purchase something for a specific event, whatever that may be, is as much to do with feeling our best and self-confidence as it is the thrill of a new purchase- often more so.

I like to hone my looks to suit what I’m doing, and with whom; but I always like to feel well presented, and a true reflection of myself- with that confidence comes hand in hand. I may come across as a naturally confident person, but in reality my clothing can ultimately be my armor- in a social situation where you don’t know anyone and may feel a little intimidated, nervous and lacking in confidence- what you wear can bring YOU to the fore, projecting your own uniqueness and style while simultaneously boosting the inner you to feel your armor is in place, and you’re ready for it. Think business meeting in a sharp tailoring with an edge- a peek of red or a leopardskin heel; a dinner event where you don’t know most of the guests, but exude an air of friendly confidence and approachability with a silk cami, a fitted jacket with pushed up sleeves and cigarette pants - the boost is in the accessories that speak to your personality and unique attributes.

Coco Chanel herself famously said “Fashion Changes, but style endures”

Its too easy to put our desire to present ourselves in our best light down as frivolity, unnecessary or masking less intellect. But its not the case. When we leave the house for whatever occasion feeling our personal best, that radiates from us- we carry that with us, and it shines. People notice. They notice you- the clothes just allow that transaction.

Sometimes, we crave that experience of purchasing a garment that we believe not only fits within our true style, but will build on it and help us project that and carry it with us- essentially making us happier. This is not shallow as such, its a tool. No different to having a hair cut, a manicure, or using a breath mint! Its about impressions, and putting our best selves forward. showing we care enough to make the effort.

Its that feeling I have noticed I’ve been wanting to experience- and its grown in strength through these past 11 months. When I was teetering on the edge of accepting a new job, I felt so strongly inclined to “armor” myself with clothes that would allow me to perform at my best, feel confident, and feel like it was a new beginning. A new path. It wasn’t about fast cheap fashion. Or an impulse buy, It was deeper than that. It was a way to change and morph into a new role, a new chapter. Metamorphosis.

I am an advocate for quality over quantity, and one thing that has really been highlighted in my wardrobe with my current clothing is the idea of a cost-per-wear ticket on any given item hanging in my closet. As I walked to work last week I recalled that the shirt I was wearing I purchased from a pop-up waaay back before I became a mother even. (My eldest is 17)

The brand was Herringbone, Sydney- known for its finely tailored shirts which became popular with investment bankers and corporate execs. At the time I purchased 2 of their shirts, heavily discounted, but for me at that stage of my life, a hefty investment for a button-up shirt. This shirt has been worn, laundered and enjoyed for close to 20 years! It has one small stain on the cuff, and for perhaps 2 years was passed on to my mother who wore it while I was a new mum, and then passed it back to me. At the time, I seem to remember my then boyfriends eyes on stalks at the splurge, but now, if I were to look at the cost per wear on that shirt- it’s probably cost me less than 2C per time I’ve worn it!

And this doesn’t have to apply to big-ticket items per se- but it does only apply to quality items. Garments that are not produced with care or decent materials will not stand the test of time- maybe even a season. It doesn’t mean you can’t pick up a quality piece at a fraction of the cost second-hand or at a consignment store. My favorite leather jackets cost me under $50, but is well made, high quality, and would originally held a hefty price tag.

Granted, I’m sure we’ve all been disappointed once in a while with an investment piece that hasn’t stood up to wear as we’d anticipated, but this is usually quite rare. I can only think of one or two examples of this in my own closet.

The takeaway keys to get the most for your cost per wear are Timeless Quality, and Classic Style.

I’m tempted to purchase a sequin skirt for a bit of frivolity and sparkle at parties or evening events, but I am aware that in a year or two they’ll be dated and old hat- until they roll around again, so I’m not prepared to spend a huge amount on one- I’d prefer to wait for a sale, so I can buy a reasonable quality one, at a lesser cost to my wallet.

So, with that said, as Black Friday sales dwindle in favor of Cyber Mondays deals, I will sign off my NO BUY YEAR.

It taught me to value what I have, purchase wisely, and look for timeless classic well-made pieces. It has taught me even more about my own personal style; this is a journey that continues ebbs and flows and constantly develops and shifts with the seasons of life and the years. There is no perfect formula. But it’s good- and fun- to strive for one.

To feel confident in your clothing, good about their manufacturing, and most importantly, the glow will only really truly come from being

Bien dans sa peau.

A Bientot x

Bite-sized – manageable "time stamps"

Sat, 30 Nov 2024 05:32:00 GMT

As we rapidly crank up towards end-of-year activities, Christmas festivities, and longed-for summer holidays, I’m fighting the inevitable overwhelm of there not being enough hours in the day, and constantly trying to keep one step ahead in my mind of the next task, engagement, appointment, commitment or whatever else is in the diary. Also, acutley aware that its only going to get busier for a couple of weeks!

I’m actively being mindful and remaining present, taking each task and day in bite-sized pieces. One thing at a time. And in the glorious distance- without wishing away the fun, family, and special Christmas cheer- is a blissful few weeks of summer at the beach.

I am finding that as our schedule gets fuller, if I don’t consciously talk myself down and breathe, my mind races, my heart rate stays permanently elevated, and anxiety creeps up- resulting in feeling stressed, not sleeping properly, and that awful feeling of overwhelm.

Today was a day I was grateful for another rainy Saturday- it seems to feel more justified to run errands, clean, and be more centered at home when it’s drizzling. I’m not being called into the garden, or feeling I’m wasting the precious sun by being indoors more. Usually, I would still go for an afternoon walk for an hour or so- but as the rain is still steadily falling, and my body is showing signs of being a little rundown already, I have chosen to stay put. A good ol’ power hour (Or two) of some household cleaning tasks interspersed with shopping for a birthday gift and an impromptu lunch out- and wrapping up my afternoon just as I stated my morning; Sitting under the shelter of the pergola, with one of the cats and the patter of rain and babbling of the stream as my background. The birds are still singing even though they must be rather damp, and I can see on a distant branch one characteristically plump and satisfying-looking Keruru (Native wood Pigeon).

Maybe I should look more to the animals surrounding me- when its wet, they shelter, they doze and pass the day gently- once it dries up the cats and birds have far more energy, and are busy and active for many more hours. Its inbuilt in them, they understand without having to reflect like us. Granted they don’t have the same commitments or to-do lists- nevertheless!

I find in times like these, as the pressure and expectation of the festive season inevitably mount, taking little bite-size tasks, and chores, and trying to focus singularly on them until completed, is far more approachable then being bogged down with the enormity of the bigger picture.

WHen we returned from our longer-than-anticipated shopping trip and impromptu lunch, I was feeling a little flustered (Okay, a lot flustered) that the day was getting ahead of me, I hadn’t got the house nice and clean as I’d wanted to - not just as it was needed but so as to be able to enjoy it over the weekend and delight in the tidy, fresh orderliness this evening. Once I’d made a start- and to my delight my husband also pitched in and took care of all the vacuuming (350+ M2!) I felt so much calmer, so much more in control and like I’d taken back my weekend. It seems silly, but just tackling something, making a start, acting not procrastinating, changes your mindset almost instantaneously.

Now, I keep a pretty clean and orderly home. I have a regular cleaning schedule and attend to laundry tasks and such like daily. But in times of stress and over-packed schedules, I’ll admit the first thing to slip is the home. I will always do the basics- the bathrooms are always clean, the laundry up to date and I never, ever leave dishes piling up or a messy kitchen- but deep cleaning tasks, or clutter hot spots, dusting, and more than a cursory vacuum with my stick Dyson is just about all I manage - and if this goes on for a few weeks at a time as it has recently, all of a sudden it’s more than I can bear!

The key is to take a breath, make a REALISTIC list, and make a start- however small. Often once you start one thing leads to another and you find you have a renewed zellor and vigor to accomplish it all.

I now feel relaxed, and accomplished and am very much looking forward to preparing a simple meal, enjoying a hot bath, and climbing into my fresh linens early- ready to wake to a clean, orderly home, bright and fresh on Sunday.

A Dreamy Gentle Saturday

Fri, 22 Nov 2024 23:54:00 GMT

As I sit here typing, the rain increases in heaviness, I have a steaming cup of favourite tea at my side, and the house is filled with the combined scents of fresh rain, clean laundry, and home baking.

My day began a little later than usual being Saturday, and a long early walk was enjoyed before the rain set in more earnestly.

Is there anything more evocative of sheer weekend coziness than freshly made up beds, cozy baking with gentle classical music filtering throughout the house along with the aromas, and while the rain streaks the windows- having already filled your lungs with fresh clean air- knowing there is nothing more to concern yourself with than what to create for your evening meal, and which book to pick up while a pet snuggles in for an afternoon doze.

I don’t think I could feel more content and peacefully happy at this exact moment.

Please enjoy my adapted recipe of the Kiwi classic, sultana loaf. I made mine gluten free, but the original calls for ordinary weetbix and regular self raising flour.

Sultana and Weetbix Loaf, Gluten free

INGREDIENTS

8 Gluten free weetbix, crushed

1 1/2 cups sugar (White, soft brown or a mixture- even coconut sugar)

2 cups sultanas

120g softened salted butter

2 cups boiling water

2 eggs

2 cups GF self raising flour

generous pinch cinnamon or mixed spice

1-2 sweet apples, cored and roughly chopped

Optional 1/2 cup roasted almonds or walnuts

METHOD

Preheat oven to 170degrees and line 2 loaf tins

Crumble weetbix into a bowl and pour the 2 cups boiling water over the top, allow to stand for 5 minutes.

Add cubed butter, stir and then add all other ingredients. mix well to combine.

Pour into the 2 loaf tins and bake for 55-65 minutes until a skewer comes out clean.

Serve with or without butter and an obligatory pot of tea.

Have a wonderful weekend x\

Everyday little luxury items to elevate your home and surroundings

Fri, 15 Nov 2024 07:43:00 GMT

I thought a little list of elegant, luxurious and charming items would be a fun way to wrap up this wet and rainy Friday. Keeping us present and grateful for the little things, and caring and appreciative of our home and surroundings.

I’ve listed below a few objects or products you might enjoy incorporating in to your everydays to add a little whimsy, joy and sparkle.

An elegant, beautifully designed candle lighter. I didn’t know I needed one of these until a dear friend gifted me one for a birthday. So much more attractive than a box of matches or a clunky plastic lighter. I have tried antique match strikers but I think the way matches are produced here inhibits them from being able to ignite against traditional match strikers. This one is slim and elegant and even chargeable with a USB.

If we have a beautiful way of lighting it then we need an equally beautiful candle to be lit! I am a candle fiend, and very sensitive to scents, enjoying all sorts depending on the season or even the time of day. My husband lovingly refers to me burning money when I purchase candles- especially the more extravagant ones, but I do believe you get what you pay for and a beautiful scent can elevate your mood, and set the tone and atmosphere of the home, in addition to creating a warm flickering glow.

If Frangrance isn’t your thing, beeswax or simple long white table candles can still create a very calming, and chic ambience. I love Carrier Freres for a touch of French elegance, Cote Noire for their beautiful receptacles, and glasshouse as go to’s around my home- with scents such as Taaha (Warm vanilla caramel) Kyoto (Neroli, jasmine and pink pepper) Carrier Freres Orange blossom, Yuzu, pine and cedar or lemon verbena. I am working up to the king of candles- Trudon. I’ll keep my eye out for sales and specials as they are quite an investment.

Sheepskin. Even in summer I love to step out of bed onto my plump and thick sheepskin rug - a pair either side of our bed. In winter you will rarely find me padding around the house without my sheepskin moccasins or scuffs on. (one pair for day, one pair for pre morning shower or post evening bath…. of course ;-) )

Soap. I love a good cake of soap, and soap can be so luxurious. Unwrapping a new cake, inhaling its clean scent, and placing it in the shower or by your bath tub is a little pleasure I look forward to when the last bar is down to a sliver. I am an advocate for Savon De Marseille - their iconic olive green cubes, but I also love a locally made one i may pick up at a farmers market, or every year or 6 months I treat myself to an order form Bend Soap in Oregon who do the most incredible milk bath using goat milk and natural oils and scents.

Linen sheets. I was ALWAYS a pure Egyptian cotton girl but have recently made the transition ( and investment) in to Belgian linen. Cool in the summer, warm in the winter, all natural, and proven to aid with a better more restful sleep, keeping the body temperature stable and allowing air to circulate. Climbing into fresh, line dried linen is next level luxury. I picked my initial set up at a huge discount so keep an eye out and build your collection slowly. They’ll last if cared for properly and are well and truly worth the investment.

Fresh flowers are a weakness of mine- even on a walk I struggle not to stop, take in the scent, maybe snap a photo. You don’t have to buy a bouquet from the florist every week- as lovely and luxurious as that may be, but supermarket flowers arranged thoughtfully, a bunch form a farmers market, or a single perfect stem of something pretty in a bud vase. I currently have an array of exquisite roses in various colors and varietals around the house and a very delicate mauve one by my bed, the last thing I see at night and the first thing to greet me in the mornings.
A quality, well made sharp kitchen knife. Look for a good weight, comfortable in the hand, from a reputable brand OR a artisan or craftsman. Cared for properly, and with due respect, it will last a lifetime and be an invaluable tool in your kitchen. I have a set of global knives which have been slicing, dicing, chopping and working hard for me for well over a decade already.

Table napkins. Unless you are eating something extraordinarily messy, greasy or stain worthy, why not invest in a few sets of table napkins to enjoy with every meal? I have many (Too many according to my minimalist husband) some summery, some with fall vibes, Christmassy designs, pure line, even Spode ones to match my heirloom Spode Blue Italian. We have a fresh set at each place setting which I change our almost daily depending on usage, and then I toss them in the wash I used to iron them all, but for everyday I find if I fold them well that’s adequate for a week night hasty family meal, and I keep the starched, more special ones for weekends, guest or special occasions and celebrations.

A teacup/ coffee cup and saucer. I promise- these are not old fashioned or just for your grandmother. You will notice and appreciate the difference. It will encourage you to savor each sip and pause- not slurp from a bug whilst dashing around the kitchen. I change my preferred morning coffee and afternoon tea cup and saucers with the season, my mood, and the contents. Sometimes delicate fine china is called for, sometimes a Christmas tree or easter bunny, sometime a large boat or a cup and saucer is all that will do! My grandfather took his morning tea every day in the biggest tea cups I have every seen- while always preparing one for my grandmother - Spode naturally, cup and saucer and a rich tea biscuit on the side.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this little list of luxurious yet attainable and useable items and ideas and you may find a new joy or love for one or two of them in the future.

Have a Beautifull weekend

Savoring quiet moments

Sun, 10 Nov 2024 00:52:00 GMT

This week has been one of those weeks- It has raced by in a bit of a blur of work, appointments, dance classes, chores, errands and social engagements.

But, in amongst these full days and evenings, I have consciously made time and found little moments and pockets of calm, making the week that much more pleasurable and allowing reflection and tranquility to settle, however briefly. In turn, this helps the busyness to feel less overwhelming, and the full schedule to feel less draining- when punctuated with moments of pure joy and contentment.

A pause to bend and breathe the scent of the intoxicating roses deeply; a good, bracing walk, with a coffee stop in which to chat at leisure with a friend; a regular loop walk one warm evening stopping to catch up with several locals, friends, and acquaintances; sinking into fresh bed linens with a new book; enjoying my freshly cleaned home before a maelstrom of teenage culinary creation takes hold- again; re sticking my fridge and pantry with good, healthy nutritious food; Barbequeing and eating dinner al fresco for the first time this season; waking naturally with the pink glow of dawn not an intrusive alarm clock.

All this is helped greatly by the longer warmer days as we head towards summer here.

I have intentionally and thoughtfully tuned in and listened to my body since returning from our Fijian sojourn- despite the lighter mornings and longer days, I’m finding the routine I have kept for years is just not suiting me at the moment. I fought it for a while and kept pushing myself and berating myself a little for not managing to accomplish my usual 5am starts and vigorous workouts immediately upon waking. I was at the point where I’d wake up groggily from the alarm, drag myself out of bed, and then be so tired I wasn’t able to put in the effort to achieve a worthwhile run or workout, then I’d be left tired from waking early, and having not managed to accomplish what I set out to by getting up then. It was loose loose.

So I’m being gentle on myself- I’ve pulled back from the 5am’s and although I’m usually still semi-conscious by then I’m dozing and resting until closer to 6am. With the weather a little more settled, drier, and a whole lot warmer, I can walk to my place of work pretty much 5 days a week- so Im still active first thing, and other days I might manage 20 minutes of resistance training or yoga before my morning shower and routines. Longer evenings mean I always have time to fit in some other form of exercise and still eat a healthy, nutritious meal at a reasonable time before the sun sets, and I feel so much more relaxed and in control for it. It’s as though a weight has lifted (If you pardon the pun) and I have let go of the guilt and sense of obligation. Rhythms change, and it’s okay to adapt and change with them. It’s not to say I’ll never start regularly rising at 5am again- but clearly, my body would rather have the extra rest for this chapter.

Amazingly Its like a release and an instant energizer, free of the constraints of a routine that was no longer serving me but that I had been trying to bully myself into submission of continuously.

Sometimes its only when we allow ourselves to step back and look objectively, that we see the tweaks and changes required to meet our current needs that our subconscious is potentially screaming at us!

A dear friend and colleague was admitted to hospital recently for a stay they had not anticipated. Happily, they are making good progress and recovering well, but her ordeal served as a timely reminder to be gentle on ourselves. Tune in, and show the same patience and compassion to ourselves as we would a dear friend or loved one.

Take those few moments to light a candle, read a few pages, have a conversation, write a letter, smell a rose- they are just as important and nurturing as a grueling cardio session. There is no point in having a healthy strong body if we cant enjoy living in it.

Today is Sunday, and while yesterday was pleasantly busy with household tasks and errands, lawn mowing and grocery shopping, manicures and beach walks, for the first time in a LONG time, today feels blissfully like a true day of rest. nothing is nagging or niggling at me, there is a scant list of have-to’s which are very minor and not unpleasant or taxing, and for the most part, the day is deliciously stretching out ahead of me after this morning’s long, early walk.

Bliss. A day to savour indeed.

The sunlight streaming through the house before 7am this morning, promising a warm sunny late spring Sunday- even while highlighting my dirty windows - fills me with joy.

The Monte Carlo Fallacy

Fri, 01 Nov 2024 07:57:00 GMT

I came across this concept in book I was reading poolside this past week (Before “real life” kicked back in) I was so taken with the idea- it was almost as if a light bulb had gone off- an A-Ha moment indeed.

The Monte Carlo Fallacy

One infamous evening in 1913, gamblers lost Millions of Francs in a casino in Monte Carlo, on the French Riviera.

At the roulette table the ball kept landing on black repeatedly, causing a crowd to gather, placing increasingly higher bets - convinced the streak was about to end. 26 consecutive blacks we played before finally landing on red.

The Belief that the probability of future events changes, based on past events.

This is a mistake we can all relate to to some degree. How often have we reflected on something and presumed that based on the previous outcomes we can predict and forecast the result.

We are fully capable of breaking the mold, tricking the system, and re-directing our paths.

Just because something has happened a certain way a handful of times (or more) previously, doesn’t mean it will continue to do so. We need to be open to the possibility of change, and to let the universe, God, or whatever higher power, being, or force you believe in, weave its mysteries for the good.

We are so quick to judge, to be pessimistic, to be self-depreciative, to assume the worst- based on past experiences. Where in reality - mostly these things have an equal chance to turn to good- to become a positive and rewarding experience.

This may be a huge success in finally overcoming a barrier such as public speaking, a first date, conversing in another language and being fully understood, combating and controlling a fear or phobia, or producing perfectly pillowy pizza dough, publishing a first book, or running a marathon.

Just because these are things you’ve not previously achieved, that you’ve failed at before- you have manifested them in your mind as unachievable hurdles; I urge you to re-look at them. Think of Monte Carlo, and allow yourself to look forward without looking to the past for answers.

Undoubtedly there will be times when the black keeps showing up again and again, metaphorically, but at some point, the probability goes out the window, and the red will turn up. It might be the next turn, it might be another 100. But we need to keep trying and be open to the possibility, believe that it will happen, when the time is right, when the stars align, and when we are ready to receive, we will.

When you flip a coin there is a 50/50 chance of it being heads. Those odds don’t change no matter how many times you flip it.

The mind is a very powerful tool indeed. I’ll leave it there for this post, I just felt drawn to highlighting this little anecdote.

The Paris Gown Philosophy

Sun, 27 Oct 2024 05:10:00 GMT

Staying present and reminders to do so, and practicing doing so every day, has been a lesson that has continued to show up and tap me on the shoulder multiple times a day whilst here in the tropical paradise. The trick is to harness that in our daily lives.

In a continuation of the previous post, the extract just below from “The Paris Gown” resonated with me.

Isn’t it interesting how an experience or comment, book or article can highlight a particular something for you, which then seems to keep presenting itself frequently, reoccurring even if that something had never even been in your periphery before. The universe keeps whispering and nudging until you take notice and potentially take action.

” A way of letting worries fall away by living in the present. Worry was about the future after all…..

In this moment what do you see?

In this moment what do you hear?

In this moment what do you feel?“

If we use these prompts, it encourages our minds to stay in that presence as what we are asking of them is to stop, observe and acknowledge what our senses are receiving that very moment.

Right at this very moment, if I were to answer those questions it would be a delight-

In this moment what do you see? The coconut trees fanning their long feathery leaves in the strong breeze, and the sea glinting with a strip of white sand, framing it in the lagoon.

In this moment what do you hear? The rustle of the trees in the warm breeze, the gentle wiring of the ceiling fan and the chirrups of the little birds - far off in the distance I can hear the housemaids calling to one another as they finish their daily room maintenance.

In this moment what do you feel? The cooling air providing a welcome ripple over my sun scorched body, the crisp freshly made pillow behind my back and the warmth form the pillow on my lp upon whihc im resting my laptop to type.

Now these responses are utterly dreamy, and while I am sooo very apreciateive and absolutley enraptured with these gloriously holiday ish and tropical island surroundings, a far more typcail day might look more like-

In this moment what do you see? A pile of laundry in a wicker basket on the ottoman at the foor of our bed, the trees swaying in the garden below my window, one of the cats nestled in a tuffet of grass eagerly watching the birds he’ll never catch.

In this moment what do you hear? I can hear the distant television downstaris where my daughter is sprallwed on the coach after school, I can hear objust being moved and aranged in the girls bathroom down the hall as the other daughter gets ready for her ballet class, then I hear a tiny little meow as our other cat comes in to find me, eaving her brother to his birdwatching.

In this moment what do you feel?“ I feel the warmth retained in the clothing I’m folding from the sunshine, or the drier, i can feel the soft thinck spongy carpet under my bare toes, I feel the smoothness of the soft cotton, silk pajamas and the courseness of the denim jeans Im folding. then the softess furr as I bend to stroke my little girl.

SO these are two VERY different environments- one that I encounter probably 350 days of the year. But the essence is to pause, and reflect, and notice these sensations, our immediate environment- its the pausing that allows the space to notice and there for one can only truly be present.

I was so fortunate to take part in a breath workshop in the pool at 6am this monring. As the sun burst forth, shillouetting a group of “students” and a coach, taking us though breathing techniques, the science behind how our bodies use, need and circulate the air we breath in (and out, just as vital); we listened in awe as these techniques were explained and taught to us.

It was meditation from a scientific standpoint I supose. What it highlighted for me intensly was that the power of the mind is incredible, and that we are capable of SOO much more than we think is possible. It also taught me that its ok to stumble- I panicked under water several times and came up for air sooner than instructed- but thats all part of the journey. Within 40 minutes - a miniscule amount of time in the scheeme of things, I went from holding my breath from 16 seconds to 50! The reason this is relevant to remaining present is, in an situation such as this breath class- when you are focused on holding your breath submerged in water - the moment you drift too far from the present, is the moment the overwhelming urge to take a breath envelops you. Sometimes we can over ride this by conciously retuning to the present, sometimes the urge wins and our heard bobs up to gasp.

This is pretty close to how we react in our everydays- if we get so bogged down wth our minds racing, hyped on endless caffine, lists of tasks, worries, chores, meetings, emails to send, laundry to fold, bills to pay…fill in any other relevent blank that you see fit, its increasingly hard to remain present enough to notice, give thanks and savour all these precious moments that become our life story.

“Turn down service”: luxurious living

Sat, 26 Oct 2024 03:53:00 GMT

As I type this I am sat poolside, post early morning swim, followed by leisurely breakfast, gazing at the sparkling turquoise waters of the pacific.

I am fully aware that I am extremely privileged to be in this luxurious position, and am incredibly grateful for it- and to honor this very fortunate and blissful few days, I am endeavoring to stay fully present and notice and appreciate each detail.

Our first evening, after an easy journey but long day, room service gently tapped at the door of our accommodation as we debated ordering in and listening to the waves lap the shore beneath us. The housemaid quietly attended to our room and bid us goodnight. She’d carefully placed slippers on a mat over the tiles by each side of our enormous bed, left fresh water bottles on each nightstand, dimmed the lights, closed the blinds, ensured there were ample supplies for coffee, or tea upon waking, and turned down the crisp white sheets ready for us to gratefully climb into.

We woke early—with the Shutters and doors open throughout the night to receive the fresh morning—to the sounds of exotic birds, the gentle ticking of the fan overhead, and the surf hitting the shore.

Such simple, yet thoughtful touches, made it such a relaxing pleasure to retire that night and slip into a deep, deep slumber.

We can recreate this at home so easily, and for just a little forethought and just a few short minutes, we can conjure up luxury resort living in our everyday.

In the evening I tend to take a shower or bath an hour or so after dinner- depending on our schedules- when I head upstairs, I turn on the soft lamps on our nightstands, remove the dress pillows on the bed, take out my silk eye mask and earplugs from the cabinet, and turn the duvet down. I’ll often light a candle as I get ready for bed, so the room has a delicate scent and a gentle ambient flickering glow. I have a carafe decanter and glass of fresh water ready to drink and always something to read.

We attended a fascinating talk before dinner last night by Nam Baldwin, a world-renowned performance coach and speaker. He spoke on the subject of sleep, the science of sleep hygiene and good practices - and the knock-on effect- profound knock on effect, that sleep has on each of us. Give yourself the best possible chance of a restorative and deep night’s sleep by creating an environment that is conducive to that, that invites calm and peace Not too hot, not too cold, not too much light, no screens an hour before bed, deep breathing, daily exercise, a good clean diet, plenty of water, and a resounding gratefulness for everything you have already to appreciate and savor.

On the first day here I devoured a paperback cover to cover- Christine Wells’s The Paris Gown.

In it was a sentiment shared by the characters that really spoke to me, and an idea I thought we could all even, apply to aspects of our days.

As these three friends stand in front of DIOR in Paris, They make a rule that nothing negative must ever pass their lips in front of the Atelier.

“A shrine at which the only acceptable offering was happiness”

What a lovely way to stay positive, and keep looking for all the plentiful elements of which we can acknowledge profound gratitude. Designing a space, or finding an existing sanctuary of sorts that can serve as your Dior. Where nothing negative can be spoken. And only positivity is sought.

Gratitude and being present: It’s about finding all the tiny details, stopping to observe a moment, relishing the taste of something delectable on your tongue, and savoring.

To put ourselves in the right mindset, it’s important we take care of ourselves too, little details of care and thoughtfulness just for us, extended naturally to loved ones and friends, family and colleagues, acquaintances then indeed strangers. But do remember to fill your cup first- it’s not selfish, you are unable to give to others if your well is empty, and you can only fill it sufficiently by practicing gratitude, self-care, and being thankful.

A week of simple pleasures

Fri, 18 Oct 2024 22:53:00 GMT

A selection of little acts, moments or ponderings to bring joy and contentment to our everydays-

It was a bright start to a beautiful new week- and a brand new school term here, on the downhill to summer; so I thought it would be fun to do a little series- a simple pleasure to savour and enjoy every day, reminding us to find joy and contentment in the mundane, the unremarkable even. That much anticipated first sip of hot, strong coffee- stepping outside for the briefest of moments as the mornings sun burst into the horizon after heavy overnight rain.

Today’s simple pleasure, take an early morning walk- regardless of the weather. If you get soaked you’ll feel refreshed, you may witness a glorious rainbow, you may tilt your face to the sun to feels it’s first rays, you may get blown about by gusty wind - but I promise, you’ll feel energised and all the better for a few deep breaths and a different perspective to begin your day.

Today’s simple pleasure- a pot of your favourite tea blend - loose leaf, naturally. With a little treat. A tea pot, and a pretty cup and saucer placed on an attractive little tray for one. Sit quietly - cosy Indoors or enjoying nature, but with no distractions- and just be, for the length of time it takes to drink it….. or longer if you can.

Give yourself the gift of an early night. Sleep is such a precious and overlooked essential to the wellbeing of our daily life and functioning healthy body and mind. We tend to sacrifice it all too easily- consciously or otherwise. Plan to eat a little earlier so the kitchen can be all clean and tidy ready for a relaxing evening. Snuggle into bed an hour early with a good book and maybe a purry, furry companion. Is there anything more soothing than the deep gratified rumble of a well loved cat?

Eat with your eyes first. The simple little pleasure for Friday is to take the time to present your plate beautifully- just for you! Simple touches and just a little extra care and time to make it look appetising and restaurant quality- yes, even just breakfast. Your bowl of granola with a delicate quenelle of Greek white thick yoghurt creaminess, scattered with fresh raspberries and a sprinkle of nuts and seeds, thoughtfully arranged in a nice bowl, a napkin and your drink of choice. Cut your midday sandwich into triangles and arrange on a plate with micro greens, twirl your zucchini noodles or spaghetti into little towers at dinner, slice your apple and fan out onto a plate dusted with cinnamon. Not only do these little touches look more appealing to eat, but you’ll find you savour what you’re eating more thoughtfully, and take a little more time to appreciate your nourishment.

Show your vehicle a little time and appreciation- no matter if you rarely have passengers or if you regularly car pool- and no matter if your in the latest glossiest model or a 1982 Toyota without electric windows; getting into a clean, tidy and well maintained car sets a tone for the journey and is far more pleasurable to ride in. You have taken care to present yourself well and sport tidy neat clothing- extend that courtesy by sliding into a drivers seat free of crumbs, discarded wrappers, day old coffee cups and one armed sunglasses nestling in a bed of gas station receipts. Granted: when my children were very young this was an uphill battle ( against the sticky raisins!) but these days, maintaining a neat car that looks and smells fresh takes very little time. Removing any rubbish and extra items as you leave each time, and keeping just essentials at the ready. For me this is just sunglasses, lip balm ( not in the height of summer or you’ll have a greasy puddle) tissues, a reusable canvas shopping bag, phone charger, sanitizer, a small first aide kit and a small notepad and pencil ( a pencil won’t leak) Perhaps in the summer I’ll have a visor to keep the window shaded, or you may require snow chains or to carry an emergency pack of sorts. But keep whatever you require orderly and update regularly for a clutter free, pleasant and elevated travel experience- wherever you might be headed.

And to finish up - visit far flung destinations and travel the world; explore without leaving home!

The reel shared on instagram was one of my most favourite and idyllic walks I enjoy as frequently as possible- but when I am home, either on a very rainy day, or a dark wintry morning, or when I want a run which doesn’t involve a hill - I thoroughly enjoy a YouTube Chanel called VRA ( virtual running adventures). This week I have run around the exquisitely beautiful Lake Como in Italy, a wooded path in Switzerland, and just this morning, along a familiar track by the river Froome not far from where I grew up in England. I am a firm advocate for fresh air and getting outdoors- but when needs must, to feel a sense of travel and experience these places just through my screen while on my treadmill- either quietly listening to the sounds of the YouTubers footfalls and background noises, ( one reason I enjoy VRA is there’s little or no music- just real time sounds) or plugging into some upbeat running music on my AirPods is quite a fun substitute. Even if you don’t have a treadmill, or the urge to run- YouTube provides a myriad of Channels offering walking tours, or scenic scapes and vistas all over the world- from the Vatican to NYC, Swiss alps to lake Wanaka or Bangkok! Take a little detour next time you feel the urge, and ‘go’ somewhere you’ve never been- or revisit an old favourite.

A change in scenery, change the pace

Fri, 11 Oct 2024 03:19:00 GMT

Listening to the cues and observing the little signs and gentle nudges of encouragement seem to come more readily and easily when we step out of the hustle of our regular daily lives.

We have just returned from a few magical days away (I almost wrote escape but I don’t wish to escape my home and daily life here as I genuinely love my life, my home, and my pets and feel so grateful for it all)

As a family we all noticed and discussed at various intervals how refreshing it was to wake up and feel the day deliciously expand before you, and how all the tasks- however menial- that would build at home creating a feeling of pressure and obligation, were so much more inconsequential at the beach. It wasn’t that they didn’t happen- we still prepared food, did the dishes, I did laundry and general light housework, but nothing felt like an effort or a chore. It helped considerable that we were fortunate with the weather and experienced a wonderful warm summery few days, and that our clocks have recently changed making the evenings seem so much longer and more relaxed.

After dinner every evening we’d wander down to the wharf to watch the sun set, some would ride bikes, some slowly amble, but dishes could wait, to do lists weren’t written, and there was no nagging feeling of….“I ought to…..”

The bird species down there are not really any different from here at home- other than some of the coastal birds, but I felt on several occasions my little feathered friends were trying to give me a message.

One of my favorite birds is the common Thrush; this speckle breasted confident little fellow kept a beady eye on my while poking holes in the lawn as I sat on the porch observing. He patiently waiting for the shadows to grow longer during the day in order to feast. He was so close, yes not shy one bit. (Masterfully difficulty to capture in a photograph sadly!)

His companion the Tui sang it song even more beautifully than they seem to sound at home, the clarity and purity of the call utterly transfixing. Willing me to stay, take a moment to listen. why rush off? What’s so important?

On our last morning I went for a run, my loop took me up along the dunes for a little way, where a very confident and very vocal tiny little fan tail made friends. I’d paused to soak in the mornings rays and watch the dog walers and their happy pooches on the beach just below when I notices him flitting and chirruping out of the corner of my eye- I smiled and observed him- hardly daring to move as he was SO close…I finally reached for my phone to try to get a picture or even a little video of the energetic little chap (Or Chapess) and he stayed close as I did, not flitting away, just turning this way and that, fanning out his tail as his name suggests- beady black eyes never leaving my face. I slowly began to walk along ready to re start my run, and he flittered along with me- right at my heels - occasionally rising up a meter or two then back to the sandy grass. He must have kept me company for a good 2-300M - so close I could have almost reached out to touch him. I imagined doing so - running a gentle finger delicately over the tiny soft feathers of his perfect miniscule head. Eventually, he carried on his way as I did mine- having got a grainy, poorly lit snippet of video of him.

It was such a poignant moment- although essentially such a common scene. But I really felt I was being encouraged to remain present, savour these little moments.

This little exchange of something so ordinary on the surface, so everyday to a passerby- a common garden bird, Thrush or fantail, Black bird or little Sparrow, an interaction that would go largely unnoticed, became special and treasure to me. A result, perhaps, I like to think of my gratitude and appreciation of the little things, the mundane even, put me in a space and mind frame where I was open to receive. Allowing opportunities and lessons to present themselves.

Its so, so easy to return to our normal lives and allow ourselves to get caught up again in the hustle, lists and jobs and errands and schedules. And while these are in the most part unavoidable, we can be mindful to not let them rule and dictate too much, to pause to savour those little magical moments. Its too easy to race though a day and collapse exhausted at 9pm with a cup of peppermint tea, having ticked everything off the list but exhausted and possibly not done single thing to bring your pure simple joy.

Ways I like to very gently stay present at appreciate a little moment, are things such as:

* Stepping outside, however briefly, with my coffee to take a deep inhale of its aroma and savour the first hot, strong, sip.

* Pausing to take in the scent of a bloom as I pass- the scent of all the citrus blossom at the beach was intoxicating.

* Running my hand over the smooth, still warm pile of clean, folded laundry

* Deeply smelling the punnet of strawberries before I rinse and prepare them

* Climbing into my cool, freshly made bed after a hot bath

*Closing the cover of the book I’ve just finished reading and taking a moment to let the ending sit with me. Allowing the satisfaction settle.

* Giving my cats love and cuddles first thing then standing a little way away watching them tuck into their breakfast with gusto.

* Watching the native birds go about their days

* The lazy buzz of a pollen laden bee

* Stopping what I’m currently engaged in and taking a moment to welcome a family member home after their day with a greeting and a hug or kiss

* Reminding myself that so much of the daily things we fret and become anxious about are really unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Take a few long deep breaths and pause.

* Feeling the pillowy roundedness of the ball of pizza dough you set out to prove this morning

* Taking a moment to a chat and share a greeting with an elderly neighbor

* Gardening is an amazing way to keep present, as its every changing so you have to consciously observe and be involved in each stage- seed, to seedling, to young plant to harvest.

Weather is another element I like to take my Cues from- and while I never shy away from a rainy wet walk, each weatherly temperament encourages you to follow a different path- and mood, and pace. A bush trail in the baking summer heat with the heady scent of the pines feels very different in a rain storm with each needle ready to release its crystal jewel, and the leaf litter squishing under your feet.

I took one of my favorite walks at the beach this past week on two separate days, and marveled at how different it smelled in early spring, with strong wind buffeting me along and the branches cracking and creaking and wildly swaying overhead. the second time I enjoyed the company of my daughter, barely a breath of wind by comparison, and a sea bird perched on a bridge watching us intently as we passed.

So, while this weekend approaches, and on the other side of it Term 4 begins in all is crazy, busy, glittery, Christmassy, glory- I am doing my best to remain present, harness the mindfulness and ease of the beach, do something every day which brings me joy- however simple, and keep a balanced, calm head on my shoulders.

Try not to focus your precious energy on things that don’t hold significant importance in your life.

Those little birds, I’m convinced, were trying to teach me something. Encouraging me and cheering me on.

Home now, and while I have been fairly productive today, the To Do list I ambitiously drew up at the very start of the holidays remains largely un ticked pinned to the fridge, but do you know what? Thats ok. None of those chores or jobs are life changing, none are vital, and most would have gone un noticed any way. But I have managed to read a few books, write lots, am energized and inspired for my writing and my blog with ideas developing faster than I can note them down, I’ve taken SOOOO many photographs, enjoyed beautiful walks, started running in earnest; And as the Rain started to fall as we packed the last few items into the car ready to leave the beach yesterday, I felt deeply satisfied, totally calmed, and utterly at peace.

It was the magic of the beach, the slow rhythmic crashing of the waves, and the inevitable rising and setting of the sun in such a big sky that re set my personal speed, fine-tuned my compass, and firmly showed me the way to stay on my course, of my life’s journey. And to feel excited for all that’s to come!

Thoughts become reality, and seasonal wardrobe refresh

Fri, 04 Oct 2024 08:03:00 GMT

A twofold post today-

Savoring simple daily pleasures

Firstly, a long awaited seasonal switch in my wardrobe:

As we great up for a seasonal change- in our case here in the southern hemisphere- much awaited Spring, we start to become enthusiastic and very ready for a change in the clothes which have been keeping us warm and protecting us from the elements these past wintry months.

Today, it is so warm I have been sat in the glorious sun with my book for a mid afternoon respite- a very rare thing indeed- and in our little sheltered spot those suns rays felt far more intense that early spring I can tell you!

So it was with delight and much anticipation I finally felt I had the time and was recovered sufficiently from my horrid flu, to invest a few solid hours and bring out the forgotten summer favorites, carefully pack away my winter woolens, and edit a fair amount along the way to donate.

I had such a streamline clear vision in my head of what I didn’t need, what I was looking forward to wearing again, items that didn’t serve me this past season or didn’t fit well, or some which had just been worn and worn so had passed their prime. The reality is though, when you take down those storage boxes- or whatever system you use to store your off season garments, its actually quite a challenge to be ruthless and cull items you still actually like but that fit into the afore mentioned categories.

I particularly struggle with:

*Items from brands no long in business, therefore irreplaceable as such

*Items I purchased majorly discounted, or pre loved even, that would normally be beyond my budget

*Items of high quality that no longer fit me

*Items I like and appreciate but are not my true style

*Items I love but have worn so much they no longer look their best- like my wool/cashmere sweater dress with hefty pilling.

*Items I was gifted which aren’t quite right but I have attached an emotion or sense of guilt to them

*Items that hold fond memories

These areas can be quite challenging to be ruthless in!

However, each time I go through this process- Bi-annually for the major changeovers and regularly between those time to sort, remove items, or repair any that can be fixed- I hone in on my true personal style just a little bit more, each time getting closer and closer to the aha moment.

In reality, its unlikely I will ever reach that sweet spot entirely as we evolve and change, lifestyles adapt and alter, employment, children, weight fluctuations, climate changes, our ideal wardrobe shift and morphs with us. But we can certainly be truer to our personal style, learn what suits us and what’s is comfortable and what we can look our personal best in.

So, I haven’t paired it back as much as I’d dreamed up- I do have 4 full boxes and 2 bags for donations though- but I am happy with the ‘cuts’ and choices I’ve made. I have no regrets (thus far) about the items no longer in my wardrobe; its looking more streamline and I have a clear idea of my inventory. I hang almost all my garments, so I tend to group similar items together and hang them in a color graduated spectrum- so Lights to darks, tee shirts, then button up shirts, then light sweaters etc, all my dresses in one area, light to dark, blazers and jackets in another.

I feel there is still plenty of room for improvement, but I have plenty- more than enough, and for a no buy year its really quite eye opening that there have been very few genuine gaps and true needs. Many, many wants and desires but that’s a different thing entirely.

12 weeks left to go…… But honestly- I could have been far more vigilant, (I admit to a few slip ups and indiscretions along the way…) there is nothing I am desperately hanging out to purchase or any great obvious gaps in my closet. I am truly grateful for the plentiful clothes I do have- for every season- options, variety, styles - and I love everything I have wholeheartedly. Lucky me!

The biggest lesson I think I have taken this time around, from this wardrobe curating session, is that simple if often best, less is almost always more, and simple tones and hues within your unique and ideal color palette can be brought together with beautiful quality well-made pieces, paired with much more affordable and less well constructed items. Its about how you pull them together- a high-end cashmere sweater over a well-constructed pleated skirt, but the belt that pulls the outfit together was a $1 find from a secondhand store- or an inexpensive dupe from a dollar store or online.

Quiet luxury is just that. Quite, subtle and understated.

For the second part of this post, and on another topic almost entirely - although we can pull from the sentiment for our wardrobe cultivation: I would like to talk about our own personal life paths.

How we create these pathways and build our own reality really does start within our own minds. In a private space, our thoughts eventually create neurological pathways over time, creating our beliefs, and if we keep strengthening those beliefs, they can, and most often do, become our reality.

When thinking about the chain reaction in such a basic way, if you will, all of a sudden a new focus seems to take shape, a sense of control and ownership of our direction.

Now, these paths are wont to wind and fork and forge new tracks we didn’t know or even didn’t want to know were there. This analogy came to me on a recent walk after heavy rains- I had been moaning to a friend about not feeling up to tackling my to do list with the vigor I am accustomed to having been under the weather, and she gave me some sound advice indeed which brought a new perspective. In essence, what she said was, do what bring you joy, don’t feel obliged to tick off the list of chores that will largely go unnoticed by your family: in 5 years time, will I be happy I poured my energies into my writing and other passions, time for myself, walks and enjoyable tasks, or that I dusted my skirting boards?

Needless to say, I am not going to turn into a slovenly house keeper- nor may I add is she with a spotless beautiful home- but it doesn’t do well to get hung up on a list, to be so inflexible you forget to enjoy what makes you happy too- sometimes its more healthy to let things go a little from such a tight rein, only see to your obligations of the upmost importance that day, take the sense of duty away and allow things to unfold a little more organically. We cant live our everydays in this floaty way, but its rather lovely to allow it to happen every so often when there are no dire consequences, and we can be spontaneous, allow ourselves to be gently led by our inner voice and the universe whispering to us.

As I walked along pondering this concept, with my half accomplished to do list lying on the kitchen bench at home, I observed the rivulets the rains had made, carving into the mud and though the banks, and verges, re distributing the fallen leaves, and most notably, finding a new channel, completely bypassing the huge and vastly expensive storm water drains that were installed a few years ago at great inconvenience and disruption to the local residents! It found its own path, despite the groundwork, expense and planning- nature, and time, changed the course of the water.

We can choose to change the course of our thoughts, and thus form new neural pathways, fortify our new beliefs until we create our new reality.

It just takes a little commitment to uncommit. To make the space to stand back and allow things to unfold a little, giving us the opportunity to spark new thoughts and ideas without stifling them.

See if you can let a new channel of thought or inspiration find its own pathway, follow it, and see where it might lead you. Be brave.

Simple Living. My Grandmother's era

Fri, 27 Sep 2024 01:42:00 GMT

I have spent an unforeseen week home this week with a pesky seasonal illness. Thankfully, these days, nothing serious, and I was fortunate to be seen by my Doctor promptly. It is unprecedented for me to “stay home sick”, in that, with perhaps the exception of raging tonsilitis as a child, even if I am away from work or school, I still ALWAYS manage a short excursion for a walk or fresh air or similar daily. This week has knocked me, yet provided me the circumstances which I have allowed myself to rest completely- mostly being incapable of much exertion, and just be home. I’m not much for TV, so I have gently pottered, enjoyed having the time to write some more, and read several books!

Two of the novels I have read recently, paired with a brand new book on living a frugal but still luxurious life, have contained such strong themes and messages from a similar post war era, that it is hard not to allow ones mind to wander and imagine how much simpler life may have been.

Please don’t misinterpret me here- In many, many ways, the distance we have covered, the progress we have made and the advancements in technology and medicine are mind-blowing and extraordinarily valuable to our modern lives. I would not rush to have to tend to my laundry by hand as my grandmothers did, or to be expected not to work after marriage, or to associate with classes of other people not of my own social standing, or, to potentially die from the flu I’ve struggled with this week. No no no. BUT;

There is much comfort to be had and, in my opinion, much worth and value to be found in everyday rituals, standards, expectations, to an extent - conformity, and an accepted and well-trodden routine.

One thing I have enbibed in more than usual this week as I have had the time to do so is partaking in tea throughout the day. Pots and pots of it! In these stories and indeed as we know historically- for the British, Tea solved most problems- or at the very least, started the solution process!

Tea was taken to quench, revive, restore, comfort, celebrate, for births, deaths, breaking the ice, to show fortitude, sympathy, on a hot day or to warm a wintry one, because it was 2pm… or anytime of day really up until evening when perhaps some would take a herbal infusion or similar.

There weren’t other drinks readily available, and one didn’t snack. Asubstantial afternoon tea may have been enjoyed, but other than that it was 3 modest meals a day- across all classes except maybe the very very impoverished.

Post war, many items were unavailable, unobtainable or unthinkably expensive. Dripping may have been used on bread as opposed to butter- waste was frowned upon, so the added nourishment and (What we’d now would probably call collogen enriched - or rich beneficial nutrients left from the cooking of beef or pork.) vitamins and animal fats were used in their entirety.

Meals were seasonal, often vegetables were home grown, and the leftovers from joint of meet cooked on Sunday after church would be transformed into several other dishes throughout the week.

One description in the novel was hotel guests taking broth on the terrace before luncheon- bone broth has made a justified re appearance in recent years and this inspired me -while feeling under the weather- to make a big pot of chicken soup today. So as I type, it’s gently simmering away on the stove in my trusty cast iron Dutch oven, permeating the house with its comforting aroma. Other than the sprinkle of chili flakes and a dash of paprika and turmeric- now we are wiser to the benefits of these spices, its simply some diced carrots and onion and an odd potato along with the chicken frame and the meat left on it, they are humble ingredients indeed. I will finish it off later with some watercress given to me this week and enjoy it as a nourishing, healing supper alongside a crusty roll and butter later this evening.

There is much comfort to be taken from pairing back and living simply- even just periodically or momentarily. During a power cut - candles, book, a roaring fire in the grate and water boiled on the gas stove for - yes- tea, then snuggling up in bed listening to the wind- at a decent time as we are not caught up or sucked into a gripping show on TV or such.

Preparing a simple tart with homemade pastry and fruits form the garden- the joy and satisfaction - and PRIDE- that is felt with such simplicity.

A posy of flowers from the garden- nasturtiums or blousy roses, lavender or flamboyant peonies. The pleasure derived from the picking, the arranging and then enjoying them and their delicate Frangrance in the Centre of your dining table or a bud vase on your nightstand to start and end your days.

Sitting in a peaceful spot at home and reading the Newpaper.

Children playing together in the neighborhood- outside, building dens, climbing trees, dressing dolls. And sweets or lollies were a HUGE treat. Perhaps a Weekly excursion to the shop with pocket money or a sugar mouse at Christmas. Our idea of a treat is a daily occurrence in these modern times. we feel hard done by without!

Heavens- even giving a new life to an item of clothing by repairing it yourself .

Cold cream as a full beauty routine, pressed powder and rouge or lipstick as the only cosmetics. When I think of the lotions and potions stashed in drawers and vanity’s between my two daughters and I…..

Many of these activities and rituals can be recreated today, or we can consciously be grateful for the conveniences we are used to in the western, or 1st world- flushing toilets, hot water from a tap, most households own a car, modern medicine, telephones (or not), a washing machine, a dishwasher, and oven which doesn’t require coals!

We live lives of abundance, modern abundance- so many of us have more than we could every really use or want. We don’t wait for things to run out or break, to fix or replenish is overlooked. We have come to expect things instantly- emails not postal service, online shopping- gosh when I first moved here Sunday trading was newly introduced and many shops and business closed on Mondays. Nothing would have been “late night” and the pharmacy was the local one, where they knew your name- not a place the size of a warehouse.

Sunday best outfits and one pair of shoes. Even my mother and mother in law grew up placing cardboard in the soles of their shoes to eek them out until it was budgeted for a new pair before a new school year.

So while I’m not suggesting we go backwards- I’m suggesting we pause, and just take a moment to think what life may have been like- think back to your ancestors, or more recent past generations- and either develop a new appreciation for something you do or use daily with ease and little effort, or consider how to revive or reinstate an old tradition, ritual or simpler routine into your modern day life.

Many things have faded out I wish were still around- common courtesy’s extended- holding open a door, greeting people properly, standing when someone enters a room, respect for your elders, no swearing, news reporters with good diction, table manners. I’m not viewing these olden day times though rose tinted spectacles necessarily- times were tough, brutal for many, post war left millions grieving or injured, food scarcities, all of those harrowing scars. But there were simple, cherished elements we can enjoy and perhaps incorporate today.

At the very least immerse yourself in a book set in those times or other historical fiction- an old copy of Good Housekeeping, or Mrs. Beatons household management, and appreciate the struggle, elbow grease and equally the simplicity of how life was, and what qualities would enrich your life today if you were to introduce one or two……….

Now, I’m off to check my chicken broth, and make another pot of tea. (To wash down my 2024 medically advanced antibiotic!)

Improving the fine art of contentment – daily

Sun, 22 Sep 2024 21:49:00 GMT

A little extra post-

The very essence of this blog is about cultivating contentment, appreciating and taking time to notice the littlest of things and practicing our daily gratitude of these treasures.

I find myself unexpectedly home today, while I try to heal from a seasonal virus- the house is blissfully quiet after the bustle of herding the family out to work and school, the cats are puttering in and out, all the doors and windows are open allowing the fresh spring air to circulate, the dust motes to dance in the suns rays and the chirrups of the local birdlife (Especially vocal are the Tuis and Kingfishers today) to penetrate the only other sounds of a ticking clock, the gentle babble of our stream, and the distant sound of a dog barking, or rooster crowing.

I am sat with a favorite china cup and saucer and a comforting brew (T2 New York Breakfast) and while not feeling my best, the true feeling of peace and contentment and a deep appreciation of the sanctuary of my home fills my cup to overflowing.

The simplest of pleasures in watching the cats in the garden, feeling the delicious fresh breeze and knowing I have several hours in which to rest, steep in the wonderful feeling, and savour every moment of it, is equally as healing to me as the vibrant green juice I shall prepare later to ward off the bugs.

Granted, I am a true home body, so a day like this is always a treat and something to be grateful for in my book, but the principle can be applied to all of us. To seek out the beauty in our everydays, to enjoy the satisfaction of a fresh folded load of laundry, a task accomplished at work, a nutritious meal prepared and presented thoughtfully to those we share our lives with, a picturesque commute, the perfect coffee, a hot shower after a long day, the fist dip in the ocean of the summer- or whiff of woodsmoke in the autumn, a favorite seasonal dish or vegetable, dining alfresco. The possibilities are endless, we just have to be conscious to notice them, appreciate them, exercise gratitude, and not take these life moments for granted. Its these moments that make up our lives- the more joy we can find in them, the more joyous and contented we become.

If we are to look at the dictionary definition of contentment- depending on the search engine, a few possibilities are presented-

“A state of being in which one is satisfied with their current life situation, and the state of affairs in ones life as they presently are.”

“Happiness and satisfaction, often because you have everything you need.”

A spiritual take is “The acceptance of things as they are as the wise and loving providence of a God who knows what is good for us, who so loves us as always to seek our good”

Even if faith is not a part of your life- “seeking our good “ and that of our surroundings and those we are surrounded by, can only be a positive thing, and a vital tool in mastering contentment.

“A state of happiness and satisfaction”

Synonyms are: Replete, ease, gladness, equanimity and peace.

We are- often unconsciously -bombarded throughout our days with being told and persuaded what we should need and want: That we are not enough, that our *** Insert here** isn’t the latest, fastest, shiniest, slimmest, most fashionable, most current whatever it might be. If we were to channel that energy into appreciating and taking care of those things we do have, our lives would be so much richer for it- metaphorically and our bank accounts!

The space this day has afforded has already sparked inspiration for a further book idea, and instigated this extra post- I have a strong desire to do some organizing and sorting too but for now, its time to pop my screen away for a little while, hang another load of laundry out, and perhaps pick up my book or just sit outside and tip my face to the sun for a few moments. Being in nature has an incredible way of facilitating restoration. Always available and ever present.

No doubt a furry friend will come and keep me company too.

Have a wonderful week.

Our own unique colour palette and style. Honing it down

Sat, 21 Sep 2024 02:37:00 GMT

As we approach the change in seasons in earnest- with days getting longer and warmer and, thank heavens, the clocks changing next weekend, I’ve been bust thinking about switching out my wardrobe and giving some thought to style, and what makes us feel good to wear: for our size, shape, tastes and lifestyle.

My journey of a no buy year (with the odd hiccough!) this year has helped me to hone in one the styles I prefer, the colours and hues that suit me and my skin tone, and the overall essence of what makes me feel confident and pulled together.

I know any people have “had their colours done”, which is something I have never invested in as such. Being from an artistic background and family, the use of colour is something which comes naturally to me and is instinctive. I think most of us know when we try on a garment if it makes us feel good, if the colour compliments our skin or washes us out, if the pop of colour is something we can feel confident with. I cant wear orange or anything lime green for example- but burnt orange and rusts or olive greens are colours I enjoy wearing- especially in the autumn.

Its become apparent my winter pallet consists of some key items which can mix and match with each other in a variety of combinations and looks.

Tan, cream and off white

Navy and dark denim

Black and white

Olive green and greys

Nautical stripes

And for pops of colour, a bright red and a shocking pink make an appearance - sparingly.

Leopard is always a good idea, in moderation, and in my book is a neutral.

Most of these colours can transition into spring summer too, with a heavier lean on the creams, whites and lighter denim.

Even with trying not to purchase anything new in the past 9 months during this no buy year, and with regular declutters and culls of my seasonal wardrobe, I am itching to get into it next month when I have time for a wardrobe overhaul and to try to hone it right back to the minimal (within reason!) capsule wardrobe I historically was so disciplined about. For years I practiced the 10 item wardrobe and gradually it has built and gathered and increased back up again to many many items.

Half my problem is I think I have rather a good eye for a bargain and also for a second hand/ pre loved gem, and when I get that lovely rush of endorphins after scoring an absolute steal of a quality, timeless well-made garment, I find it really hard to let that go and admit that its surplus to requirements… or doesn’t fit, requires repair or alteration, doesn’t quite suit me etc. if its something I know is high quality and I paid a minimal amount for! I need to be strong and re home those items. I can think of two in particular right now hanging in my wardrobe- a grey/ mushroom colours silk blouse with black trim. Its beautiful quality, and fits me, but is a little dull and I’m not sure it does much for me- its not exiting or a statement or classic enough to be kept- If I’m brutally honest its still there because I know it would have been a few hundred dollars originally, is well made and above all 100% quality silk. None of those are really good enough reasons to be taking up valuable hanging space.

Id like to get back to a point where there is ample space between hanging garments, so nothing needs sliding along to retrieve an item, where I know exactly what I’ve got as there isn’t so much that I forget about pieces that I own. That everything fits me well, suits me and I LIKE it. Including shoes. ( I have a teeny tiny problem with a shoe addiction)

I also have several items that were thoughtful gifts that aren’t quite right, or hand me downs that were a generous idea but not me, or things I’ve worn and loved so much they’ve lived their life, or styles that are not me- that are just not me. Its hard to tune into some times but you know when you put an outfit together if you feel good. I’m talking confident, spring in your step, comfortable and stylish as well as functional. We all have one or two outfits we know we feel a million dollars in. All our clothes should make us feel this good- not a little uncomfortable, or self conscious, or require constant tweaking or adjustment thought-out the day. Effortlessly stylish and US.

I have a confession: I recently purchased a pair of espadrilles for summer- purely for nostalgic reasons. I have vivid memories of one summer growing up, a hot true English summer that began in May and ended in September, with warm days, twilight humm of lawnmowers at 10pm, hot air ballons and peach juice dripping down our arms- and for that summer I wore a pair of yellow and white striped espadrilles. When I saw these, I had to have them- and I cannot wait to put them on as the weather turns and the ground dries out form all our recent heavy rains. They feel like carefree childish joy.

Who says clothes aren’t emotional! They are something we wear and have to consider and select in some capacity every single day- why not enjoy the process!?

I shall update you all in a week or two once I’ve started my mission!

Reflections on a busy week

Sun, 15 Sep 2024 01:15:00 GMT

As the school term starts to wind up, the clocks are yet to change for spring time, and our calendars seem to start filling up on the speedy downhill to Christmas - (which, in this part of the world, is also the completion of the academic year, awards, prizegiving’s, contracts ending or renewing, dance showcases, school productions, work functions and social engagements,) its all too easy to get swept up in the business and urgency. This is when stepping back, taking a deep breath and assessing priorities, clarifying expectations and reevaluating how best to balance it all, while keeping our own internal peace. Endeavoring not to over commit or ware ourselves out entirely. Its ok not to say YES to everything.

Needless to say we cannot negate and avoid the busyness in its entirety, but we can set ourselves firm boundaries, and with practice, allow a period of rest following the larger or more taxing events.

This isn’t to say we cannot enjoy them, we just know in ourselves what our personal limits are. I have a friend who absolutely thrives on the go go go and multiple commitments in an evening, racing here and there and eating late and sleeping later- I know for me, that is a sure fire way to fuel my anxiety and pretty much guarantee burn out- all without really enjoying any of the fun stuff as I’ll be too busy fretting about the next thing and feeling drained! Personally, I try to schedule a quiet day or evening prior to, and if possible, post, a big event or late night, as a buffer and a self-preservation technique!

I am due to play golf this afternoon- the sun is shining, and I do so enjoy it. However I have had to ensure I really pause first: By chance I have the house to myself for an hour or so - a rare thing these days- so I have taken time to make a delicious coffee, light a candle, a sit near the open French doors with the cats pottering in and out, the birds in the garden and the washing gently whirring in the laundry while I type this. There are a million things on my to do list and I know however good and enjoyable my round is later, I will return home tired, as the light fades for the day, and those things will still be looming. However, I know I will be able to tackle them a little more positively with a bit of space and organization prior to heading out. If I can get a head start on dinner, fold the dry laundry before I leave, and tick one or two little tasks off my list before I go, it will seem much more achievable and less daunting at 6pm on a Sunday night with a hectic week ahead.

For me, the pause, the reflection, and having a plan- will all help me sail through this week with less stress and less unknowns.

To do lists- with realistic goals- you wont get ALL the housework done if you want to be in bed by 9.30pm. But you might manage to water the plants and defrost the chicken for tomorrow and prepare a salad to grab for lunch the next day.

On that: Make sure on the busiest of weeks what you plan to cook for dinner are crowd pleasers- family favorites. Simple to prepare, least dishes, and you know everyone will enjoy them.

If you know you wont be home till 8.30pm how can dinner be quick and easy? - Maybe take out/slow cooker/ salad/ soup or something from the freezer.

Limit the pile of laundry for that day to just the towels- there are so much speedier to fold and pop away then a jumble of socks and endless tee shirts and school shirts.

Look though your diary for the next week and then the following- ensuring no surprises pop up that you’d forgotten about- a dental appointment at an inconvenient time, a friend’s birthday you need to purchase a gift for, the car being serviced- whatever it might be, anticipate and plan for it and the stress will be hugely diminished. If needs be, reschedule what you can for a less full week.

I also need to remind myself that while planning is a very helpful tool in many respects, we mustn’t get so tied to our list and schedules that we are inflexible and the slightest curve will throw us off completely. I’m a shocker for this if I’m honest. On a busy day even an extra half an hour I hadn’t predicted can send me into a spin! This is when we need to re group, pause, and allow ourselves the grace to see the wood for the trees and most importantly be gentle with ourselves. We are doing our best. And that’s all we can do.

Acceptance of that and letting go occasionally of ideals is all part of that journey. I wanted to have a few quite hours to peacefully sit and write, blog and potter this weekend. Its hasn’t quite happened, but I have managed to tick off some productive tasks that were on the periphery, and visit with my Mother briefly, as well as a few impromptu things- like taking advantage of the weather before the rain set in later than was forecasted yesterday, and tackling the lawns and the driveway shrubbery. Not on my list per se, but a valuable and productive use of my time nevertheless.

The weekend has sped by, but It has also been wonderful and diverse and peppered with gourmet food, friends, nature and quiet time at home. And a full blissful 8 hours of sleep last night.

Now though, It is time for me to get my clubs organized, skewer some potatoes ready for the oven, and blow out the candle.

I have been pondering our wardrobes, and having a color palette that works for us uniquely- even seasonally , so next weeks post will be wardrobe based I’m thinking!

Savoring and celebrating the simplest of pleasures

Sat, 07 Sep 2024 02:28:00 GMT

When I gradually awoke this morning, I’m fairly certain I had a smile on my lips before my eyes even fluttered open. Somewhere in my subconscious I knew it was Saturday, and as I began to awaken, I became aware of the gentle dawn light, the bird song, and the delicious knowledge it was the weekend.

Early Saturday morning is possibly my most favorite time of the entire week. The weekend stretches ahead- even if its a busy one, usually I’ve had a little more precious sleep than a regular weeknight. In those precious, treasured quiet moments on a Saturday, my sincere gratitude for the life I am living seems to almost brim over.

As I lay there deliciously cosy this morning, before even stretching my limbs or turning to see if my beloved was also awake, I was flooded with thankfulness and contentment for the simplest things I was able to enjoy and savor. Dawn light creeping though our open drapes earlier and earlier as we approach the summer months, the birds equally glad of it and singing their unique songs- the Tuis, Black Birds and the Thrushes are providing a musical delight. The house and neighborhood are still and quiet, the sky is shades of gray with rain on the horizon, and my day will involve simple tasks, activities and pleasures- walks, coffee at a favorite cafe, housework, writing and preparing a nutritious family meal for this evening before a bubble bath and climbing into freshly laundered sheets with my book.

I took a rare moment to sit up in bed watching the birds sipping a hot lemon water, discussing the day and various other things with my husband before rousing a daughter for her Saturday job, and getting ready for a walk with a friend.

I couldn’t describe a more perfect day really, even if I was to design my ideal early spring weekend at home. Add in weather conducive to hanging laundry on the line, a spot of golf, time with my family, and mowing the lawns, sprinkle in some home baking and time for a pot of tea and wrap it up with the contented and accomplished feeling of a clean home, a fully stocked kitchen and being organized for a new week by Sunday evening, and you have the magical formula! Very uncomplicated really!

Simple everyday luxuries.

Other than the negligible cost of the coffee (And we must remember for little indulgences like this we aren’t just paying for the coffee, but the ambience, service, view and atmosphere- the ceremony and ritual of walking the nearly 5 Kilometers, uphill mostly, for the reward of the perfect oat milk flat white, and the less challenging return trip,) the morning hasn’t cost a thing.

Much of this is down to mind set, if we choose to see these moments of simplicity as something to savor, as something special and to be cherished and appreciated, life becomes all the richer for it.

Choosing to notice all the things we can miss if we are too concerned with what others deem as luxurious or special. Look up at the night sky, watch the suns rays pierce through a cloud, take note of how you feel at home when you are relaxed and contented, when you have people you love close by, when your laundry smells of fresh air and sunshine, when you notice those first shoots of spring or the tight bright buds suddenly appear on the trees after wintering, equally as the greens turn into the golden hues of autumn- Soak it all up, breath it in. These gems and jewels, these “ordinary” moments are what make up our everydays and they are equally special.

While the seasons begin to show their changing more prominently, I am enthusiastic about having some time to have a thorough spring clean over the next few weeks, getting the house ready for summer, cleaning and re arranging out door furniture and tending to the garden and some planting, and a task I get huge satisfactions from- changing out my seasonal wardrobe- flushing out any clutter, rehoming items, streamlining, and being reunited with old favorites which have been stored away.

3 more weeks of school term then a break to really savor, change pace and embrace the coming summer and all its gifts. I cannot wait!

Spring and the practice of contentment

Sun, 01 Sep 2024 04:11:00 GMT

As I spoke about in the previous post, we are on the back of an exceptionally busy and full week, so I am bursting with gratitude that I am sat typing this in the warm sunshine, at a beach house, in shorts and bare feet! What a difference just a few days can make- my Thursday post was written cozied up in bed with a storm lashing!

Last evening sent winter off with a bang as another dramatic thunderstorm shook the house, and this morning we woke to a bright fresh spring day, with a warmth in the sun we haven’t felt these past several winter months. Its off season here, so we are enjoying total peace and relaxation, with the feeling of tranquility washing over us. Its not yet even 24 hours since we arrived and we all feel like we have enjoyed a true mini holiday already- our toes are thawed from the cold that’s now past, the doors and windows are thrown open, alfresco dining and even a new bottle of sun lotion purchased.

Its father’s day here, paired with the first day of Spring, but long before our girls surfaced for the day, my husband and I watched the dawn over coffee/ hot lemon water, and headed up the ’Mountain” to watch the spring unfold from this majestic vantage point.

The scale of the horizon and the unimaginable beauty were truly awe inspiring- and after this crazy, fraught, week, the sights and smells and sounds melted it all away. Just the two of us, feeling the warmth of those first spring rays, trekking up a reasonably challenging hill, and the knowledge we had the whole day- and part of tomorrow, stretching out before us was like a balm to the soul. We ended up taking the scenic route back down- taking far longer than we anticipated and involving a fair amount of scrambling and the final stretch across the rocks at sea level, to meet our two daughters for coffee. What a perfect way to celebrate such an incredible father - and husband- in such an unrushed way that we were able to really savor, and soak up and deeply appreciate it. The offset of the busyness of the previous week made it all the more special and treasured.

It is so important we remind our selves regularly that happiness is only an exterior thing- that we certainly can enjoy- often fleetingly but hopefully frequently, but contentment is from within. We can choose to be content each and every day. It has no strict permeameters, relays on no other body or soul, and is entirely up to us as individuals to tune in, nurture, and practice contentment each day. Easier on a blissful day such as this, less so racing round against the clock in the driving rain and cold, with a stressful work week trying to drain you and suck the positivity and the core of our contentment.

But its always there, however the practice of tuning into it multiple times a day is something we need to be reminded of. To actively choose to rewire our brines, form these new pathways and keep retreading them so that they are so familiar to us we need less of a push to frequent them regularly; the practice becomes something we do several times a day- not quite sub consciously, as its vital to keep present and mindful of this feeling, but that it becomes so natural to look for the good, appreciate what we have, and be in the present- second nature.

This ties in to the acceptance of our limitations and knowing and understanding our own limits- this week I wasn’t kind to myself, and I knew better than to over commit to that extent. We need to get to know ourselves equally on this journey of contentment and peace, as part of being able to live a contented life is about a deep understanding of ourselves, who we are, what makes us tick, what we need to flourish and how best to carry ourselves through this life, in a kind and gentle way - we are the only beings capable of bringing contentment to ourselves- no one else can provide that. I’m now in my mid 40’s and I think I’m only just starting to really know and begin to deeply understand myself- and have the confidence to allow my inner voice to be head when its required. To do that is brave, its brave to make yourself venerable while equally standing your ground. Its challenging to go against the grain- but if that’s how you truly feel, and what you deeply believe is right for you- don’t be drowned out.

So, this daily practice has to be completely individual to you. And it will change and evolve and keep re shaping as we learn and grow and age. Its never a done deal. Its a habit, a healthy habit to carry with us for our entire life. And its never too late to take it up.

With that, I’m going to wander down to the estuary now the tide has come in again, to watch the sea birds and my family frolic on the waves.

Till next time.

A lesson in over commitment

Thu, 29 Aug 2024 08:56:00 GMT

I plan to write a further post over this coming weekend, with the luxury of time and an abundance of fresh sea air. But tonight I felt compelled to just jot down some thoughts on my experiences this week.

I thought I was tuned into my limitations and necessities in regards to social commitments and filling my days and calendar. I am usually mindful of spacing events and engagements out. This week snowballed. I work full time, we are just coming through the depths of winter into the first glimmers of spring- so all a little fatigued, fighting off constant colds and winter viruses, and feeling thoroughly “wintered”.

(As you may know, I love and embrace all the seasonals equally for their own beauty qualities and uniqueness, but this doesn’t always mean fatigue wont set in when dark mornings become a little more tiresome, evening chores a little more taxing, and a natural longing for warmth, unfurling, and that delicious feeling of unfolding and stretching out - much like a new butterfly , emerging from its cocoon- ready to absorb and embrace the welcome wonders of spring.)

Foolishly, it turns out, (and I absolutely should have known better) I over committed. With an extra activity, social engagement, dance class, meeting, errand, appointment, entertaining or organizational tasks doubling op on every night of the week after a full days work, I hit an absolute wall when the last straw was an atrocious nights sleep- resulting in me decamping to the guest room to try to sleep in the early hours- something I have not done once in all our 20 something years together!

Today I struggled to function efficiently all day. My mind kept drifting, my tasks we shoddy at times, I was snappy and even irrational. I held it together, performed my various duties and just about made it through my to do list before a delicious hot shower, and tucking myself into bed very early to write this, watching the room light up with dramatic flashes of lighteneing and bone shaking, house rattling rolls of thunder. I couldn’t be cozier or more content.

I am wrung out, and a little annoyed with myself for not having the foresight to plan better. However, it has served as a valuable reminder, and I am so fortunate to be looking forward to a brief get away this weekend, of utter relaxation and time by the ocean with no plans or time constrains whatsoever.

So, now to my new book chosen at our book club this week, for all of about 2 minutes before my eyes inevitably start to close.

I have a quote written in chalk on the kitchen menu black board which is rather apt for this particular post-

We can do ANYTHING, but we cant do EVERYTHING.

How true. I’d do well to remember that.

Confessions of a (reformed?) shop-a-holic

Sat, 24 Aug 2024 09:51:00 GMT

Ok. I need to come clean.

I started off with determination and gusto on my journey of a NO Buy Year. I was staunchly adamant that I would see it though without faltering. ….

That may have been a little ambitious.

I have continued to be mindful and very conscious with the items I have bought- and for at least the first full 6 months I stuck to within the parameters I’d allowed myself:

NO new purchases unless- replacing a frequently used item that has worn out or beyond repair, replacing athletic wear/ running shoes, or a pre- loved purchase for a wedding - or other significant event.

Recently - for no other reasons that I can determine other than a sense of fatigue and an anticipation of a new season, a clarity of my own personal style, and, if I’m brutally honest, a longing for the buzz- the endorphins a new purchase can make you feel, I have succumbed to the very temptations and reasons I chose to embark on this challenge in the first place.

While I do, certainly, feel an element of guilt, and a little disappointment, that I have got to late August and have temporarily fallen off the wagon, I still feel I have learnt and grown though the journey thus far, and It is not a failure, and it isn’t over yet. I am far more present and intentional with what I di peruse and choose to cheat with. they are not impulse buys or stand alone items- they genuinely fill gaps and provide a solution, and are all the more appreciated and values- savored - for it.

I will list below the items I have purchased (some of which I have mentioned in a previous post) and my thought process behind them, in an honest effort to, in some way, justify them:

Running shoes

I have purchased 3 pairs of running shoes since January, and most recently my favorite brand ON, was having a sale, so while I didn’t strictly need them, yet, They were a very good deal, and one of the pairs were a specialist waterproof trail shoe. Now, anyone who’s been following EVERYDAY CONTENTMENT for any length of time will know, I walk, a lot. I run most morning and I walk every day without fail, regardless of the weather. So, I do truly ware running shoes out with frightening regularity. (Quality, well-made running shoes are not an inexpensive purchase!)

Cashmere Sweater

Upon perusing a charity shop/Op shop/ Good will store, I came across a pure cashmere, Pilar box red, scoop neck sweater. I needed it. It was very inexpensive, I didn’t have that color in my wardrobe, and it was beautiful quality from a well-known, high end brand. Having carefully laundered it, and getting my darling Mother to repair two small holes (I am no seamstress) I have worn it several times already- its warm, cozy, a beautiful fit, and provides a wonderful pop of color under a blazer. I simply couldn’t leave it there.

Velvet Tuxedo jacket

An item I have long been Coverting for my wardrobe- such a versatile timeless piece; chic over jeans, or classic over evening wear. One came to my attention purely by chance, at a heavily discounted price. So, I bought it. I am yet to wear it but my husband and I have a couple of elevated evening events to attend over the next few weeks so I feel sure it will make its debut.

Black leather Chelsea boots

I had been struggling with a gap which only classic black Chelsea boots could fill. My old Chelsea boots were past their best and long since donated, and the existing ankle style boots I had were in Olive green, Navy or Taupe. All lovely and different in their own way -but none in black. The only black I have are very high heel evening style bots- definitely not a style I would walk the 4Kms round trip to my place of work which I do more or less daily. So, again, a trusted brand- I have several other pairs of shoes by them, Sol Sana, popped up on sale, so I took advantage. They are beyond perfect. Day one I wore them with just thin stockings to walk to work, a full day on my feet and the walk home- the really telling part was I wore them to do exactly the same in them the following day. A true test of a well-made, well-designed, High-quality piece of footwear.

’Ugg ’Boot Slippers

While I have a few pairs of slippers depending on the function and season, I was missing something that covered my ankle to provide warmth, as well as a practical sole to pop outside to the clothes line, or potter in the kitchen. So- while not UGGS, I did buy- on sale, some over the ankle sheep skin slippers. We are still very much in winter- with peeks of spring arriving daily, so they are a welcome coziness.

So, while keeping with the full disclosure theme - I have also genuinely aquired a few other pieces over the course of a few months:

*A waterproof puffer jacket- in shocking pink! Mu daughter has outgrown it…and me!

* Two pairs of Lug Sole loafers, one tan suede, one ivory leather- a lovely friend purchased but were too small for her, but a perfect fit for me!

* Two waterproof rain jackets- My husband treated me to, to keep me dry on my walks.

Definitely a footwear thread running here me thinks….. But I always knew I was a bit of an Imelda Marcos

OK, there we go, I’ve confessed. Onwards.

15 essential items to curate and cultivate effortless style and an essence of chic

Sat, 17 Aug 2024 08:22:00 GMT

A little bonus post this week: As I took my Saturday Walk to the village for coffee- as has become my savored and much anticipated weekend ritual, I pondered the qualities of how a day of mindful and intentional contentment might start, as we get ready for our days, and how this translates into how we present ourselves. I am in no way a fashionista, or even a follower of trends per se, but I do love clothing, I love quality fabrics and workmanship, and I enjoy feeling pulled together each day regardless the tasks ahead of me. We all love the feeling of that one killer outfit or pair of shoes we feel amazing in, and could rule the world in, why not cultivate that feeling in our every days- not just saved for special occasions.

The layers we dress ourselves with on top of our secret glamour- the luxury of well-fitting quality lingerie, suited to our physique and in a style we enjoy for ourselves- are our foundational pieces.

Whether we care to admit it or not, we consciously or unconsciously notice how someone is presented and their clothing choices when we meet them. It is usual for your eyes to make quick split second judgements, and observations - possibly even assumptions, before we have even opened our mouths to speak. Regardless if we like this or not, it is fairly unavoidable in society - just as we eat with our eyes first before taking a bite when a meal is beautifully presented, or a cake thoughtfully and skillfully decorated- How we choose to present ourselves is important and speaks volumes. And thus, how we are presenting ourselves is the cornerstone for how we conduct ourselves throughout our days.

As a basic example- When I dress in my athleisure, or gym wear, I feel instantly energized, motivated and ready to go- accordingly, these garments are designed to move with you, and be comfortable and not cumbersome, and enable freedom of movement. Contrarily, a cozy turtleneck oversized sweater over perfectly worn-in stretch jeans sets the tone for comfort, warmth and relaxation. A stylish blazer over a crisp white shirt- I’m prepped, ready and feeling productive and professional.

The key is, to have a commonality and signature style or look that links all the various functions and purpose of the varied styles clothes, while preserving your own unique identity.

When picking out our clothes and composing our outfits, we are setting our intention for the day.

1. A Classic Blazer. I have several blazers of varying weights, cuts, colours and fabrics in my wardrobe, but the classic, basic well-tailored, high-quality blazer is a timeless piece to elevate any outfit. Black, navy or tan. Paired over a pencil skirt, jeans and a tee, crepe pants or a floaty dress- providing an element of style, and a classic silhouette. Oversized blazers are en vouge at the moment but find a style, length and cut that flatters you, and stick with it until you are confident enough to play with it.

2. Trench coat. Versatile, extremely useful, classic and timeless. Pick a length that works with your height and wardrobe- some are cropped some almost ankle length- as with the blazer they can be paired with a myriad of outfits, are lightweight, useful in most seasons, and add an element of chic- even with chucks.

3. Well fitted jeans. No matter your style preference: skinny, high wasted, wide leg; find a brand, cut and style that works for you- the tasks you perform daily, the climate, and what makes you feel good. Be conscious of you stature and physique and accentuate what you have- for example a wider leg jean cropped above the ankle doesn’t look good on every body shape. Find the one that speaks to you and makes you glow - and allows you to function adequately- and invest in a light and dark denim pair- and perhaps a saturated black and even a white pair too?

4. Basic Tee Shirts. The better the quality the longer they last. A scoop or V neck can be more flattering but be mindful what you plan to pair them with. Black, White and light grey are a good starting point, and maybe in 2 sleeve length - and perhaps singlets for warmer months.

5. Sweaters or cardigans. These depend on the climate you live in, in terms of how many you require-but a decent sweater can last years. I prefer cashmere when the budget allows as wool ca irritate my skin- especially around the neck, but Cashmere can be expensive. Build your collection over time, keep an eye out for sales and bargains- even high quality pre loved. I picked up a red cashmere sweater recently for less than $30- handwashed and cared for in a mild wool specific detergent- I love it! I tend to stick to plain colours- no patterns or multicolor- perhaps a little detailing or cabling. Tan, black, charcoal/grey and a pop of something fun- pink, red, cornflower blue.

6. Basic dress/ dresses. I have enjoyed wearing dresses year round for decades- varying the fabric, thickness, and style depending on the season and intended functionality. A dress is a complete outfit in one. Pair with a scarf, a cardigan, a blazer or alone- with boots, ballet flats, heels, sandals or smoking slippers. Just beware of clinging fabrics, see through fabrics, and ensure you purchase a cut that suits your physique. I love a belted denim dress with brown boots in the winter for a casual look, a linen floaty sundress in the heat of summer, and perhaps a soft button up shirt dress for spring.

7. Formal / evening dress. An LBD - (or not so little, or not so black) should be part of every ladies wardrobe. Go for a dark navy, a black, or perhaps a deep burgundy or forest green depending on preference or skin tone- but go for a classic silhouette if you are investing, making sure it can pair with varying heel heights and be worn under a shawl or coat or wrap. Avoid pattered and fads and seasonal hem lines. Think Audrey Hepburn. And pearls.

8. Skirt or shorts. I swore off shorts for years (and years!) but have since rediscovered that in the height of summer, when paired with the right top and a belt, tailored Bermuda style shorts can actually be quite chic- and are incredible practical. I adore the look of shorts and a blazer with perhaps a sleeveless silk blouse- but I haven’t quite dared to pair that yet. I don’t love my knees, so I’m honest with myself about that and know what length I feel comfortable- and confident in. Skirts throw a totally different vibe and can be worn year round in all kinds of fabrics, so pick a style you like for winter and then for hotter months, and invest in one or two when you can. I am loving a black pleated skirt with a leather jacket or long line cozy cardigan, and in the spring I’ll bring out my button through linen.

9. Button down shirt. If nothing else, pretty much everyone needs a classic high-quality crisp cotton button down shirt in their wardrobe. Year round. Totally versatile. Always chic. Wear open over a camisole, with tailored pants, under a blazer, tied up over denim cut offs.

10. Scarves. The one item you will never, ever not fit. Go crazy. Silk, wool, cashmere, patterns, splashes of color, leopard. A scarf is pretty much always a good idea- and the finishing touch to so many outfits. When you feel you are missing an accessory or need to zhuzh it up a little.

11. Nautical Tee. A la classic Coco Chanel. A nautical stripe boat neck tee is a classic to add interest and retain an element of fun while remaining classically stylish. Under a cardigan, a blazer, a denim jacket or alone. Always go horizontal stripes. Navy and white or black and white but have fun- Boden and Joules are my go to for quality and affordable luxury style.

12. Fine Merino knit. We live in a sort of temperate climate here, but many homes and buildings are not adequately insulated for the colder days or harsh winds and bone chilling damp of winter. Thin, merino base layers are my Saviour. Even under a tailored fitter dress or a heavier sweater. Just a layer of warmth without the bulk.

13. Denim jacket. So handy as a layer in spring and summer and even early autumn here- always stylish over a dress or linen wide leg pants. I’m not convinced by double denim though- sorry. Stick to one end- denim jeans or denim jacket. Youve got to be pretty special to carry off both and still look chic.

14. Camisole. As a layer, under a blazer or cardigan or a peek of lace under a shirt with the top few buttons undone. I have 3 or 4 silk ones I have picked up over the years- they are delicious against your skin and elevate your outfit and feeling of style even when no one knows they are there. definitely worth the investment and when laundered properly will last many years.

15. Shoes and Handbags. Okay, yep, definitely deserve their own category- if not an entirely separate post. And I have a not so secret shoe and bag obsession.

At the very least you need the following-

A neutral clutch- suitable for evenings. A large leather tote sizable enough to fit a laptop/lunch/a scarf/ water bottle. A cross body bag in a neutral or an interesting leather- aligator/ leopard. and big enough for keys, wallet, sunglasses and a lippy. A straw shopper- for the farmers market.

And footwear:

Ballet flats- pointed or round toe -black or tan or both, knee high boots, and Chelsea style boots that can be worn with skirts or dresses too- at least one in black one in brown. a loafer or smoking slipper- go wild- leopard, zebra, olive- a pop of interest. A heeled sandal in neutral, black heels, a wedge sandal- suitable for walking, beach style casual slides- Birkenstock or such. Converse style chucks. A neutral flat sandal- I have been though several pairs of the Sam Edelman T strap sandals in Almond patient- they go with absolutely everything and you can walk MILES in them. and maybe a slip on woven leather mule as they are so versatile- wear with jeans, shorts dresses….

As you can see, I have serious trouble narrowing shoe choices down. But really, is too many shoes a thing?!

I will sign off this post there, a la Imelda Marcos, and perhaps look at a further list of lingerie and undergarments as well as outerwear next?

Encouraged by a new generation

Wed, 14 Aug 2024 09:23:00 GMT

In the space of a handful of days this week, I have been taken a back in a wonderfully surprising way by children showing respect, manners and tradition. Its so easy to lump them into the same box of too much screen time, no respect, no boundaries, technology driven, computer game altered….. they get a bad wrap a lot of the time these kids, (and by kids I’m referring to my personal experience dealing with 5-11 year olds on a daily basis…. and teens at home).

While many of these less desirable attributes can be witnessed and more often than perhaps we’d like, there is always the counter characteristics. This blog, and indeed everyday contentment is very much built on seeking the positive, remaining present, and practicing daily gratitude, so with that firmly in mind, I have three heart warming examples of beautifully mannered emerging adults who, I believe are a credit to their caregivers and society.

The first instance I witnessed was a new student who had transferred from a different school, he was confident and excited and very polite. During an exchange and conversation taking place in the office, an elderly gentleman waking in- now, this gentleman is a whole ’nother story, but this student would have had no idea who he was or what his relationship with the school was. When it became apparent the local gentleman was leaving, our new student didn’t hesitate to jump up and hold the door open for him, and when thanked for doing so, was gracious in response and gave eye contact in doing so. For a boy of 10 who surely must have been really rather nervous and anxious on a first day of a new school, I was really blown away with his self-assured confidence, and his grounding of good manners and respectful behavior.

That same afternoon, as I walked home, the local high school bus pulled into a stop just ahead of me- I make sure to always greet the ex students I am familiar with- and gauge my level of interaction by the, sometimes, Luke warm response I receive in return- indeed, its not uncommon for an 11 year old primary school student to be somewhat needy, openly tearful and rather immature throughout their 6 years - then all of a sudden they are in a different uniform, its a handful on months down the track and they dont so much as grunt at you- let alone offer a smile or any kind of greeting, despite patching their knees up for years with band aids and sellotaping their first teeth Safley to note paper so as not to get lost before the tooth fairy visits! Its astounding that they can suddenly be so uncomfortable and embarrassed just to acknowledge your presence in passing! (Hey ho!) On this particular afternoon, a young girl who had been rather awkward and uncomfortable in her own skin for years then, happily, blossomed and transformed, waiting at the bus stop when she had just got off the bus, as I started to pass her I greeted her as usual and she said, “I was waiting for you, I just wanted to walk with you for a bit if that’s ok?” I was so touched, as she chatted easily about her day, told me about her class mates and how the school cross-country had gone- this little girl had historically become so distraught when she’d had any issues at school, or minor injuries and upsets-and he she was, choosing to accompany me and chatter away. I was tickled- and really rather touched.

A day or so later, a neighbor called to ask if her son could walk home with me as she was caught up. When I went to find him and give him the message, he lit up, he said, I’d love to walk home any day- anytime! As I walked away, I overheard him announce to his friends that he was walking home with his neigbour afterschool like it was such a treat. He chattered amiably all the way home, telling me all sorts of things and engaging in conversation- even thanking me for walking with him once we reached his drive.

These children. These examples. These are what we need to focus on and encourage, nurture, and yes, appreciate. They are gold. Absolute nuggets to cherish and glimmers of a real, genuine, hopeful future, where our world will be run by this passionate, respectful confident generation.

Yes, there will always be those less respectful, less desirable, but there have always been those characters, in my youth and in my grandmothers, and her mothers- they just present a little differently each time the generation rolls round. What we need to do as parents, teachers and society, it nurture and encourage those gems, give them the space and room to blossom, and grow and mature- focus on these amazing GOOD kids. Not dwell on the behavior and traits we don’t appreciate in some of their peers.

We should have their backs.

I’m proud and honored to have been part of their little journey so far.

Frank Sinatra in the kitchen

Fri, 09 Aug 2024 09:04:00 GMT

It’s Friday night, and as I sit here cozily, after a hot shower, in a fluffy robe, scented candles burning, adding a calm glow to the room, soft piano music drifting, and the gentle clanking of the chimney as it heats back up again after the fire on the level below me was stoked with fresh logs, I feel so at peace, accomplished and the slower pace of the weekend is tangible, and like a delicious treat waiting just for me. After this somewhat hectic and full week, I feel I will appreciate and savor this weekend even more so. The forecast is for fine crisp days, and among the usual household chores and errands, time with family, walks with friends and ladies golf is planned. I feel a little buzz of energy too that I’m almost excited to get thoroughly organized again for the next week- without in any way wishing my weekend away. The feeling this past Sunday afternoon/ Monday morning of preparedness and calm organization was wonderful- setting me up with such a positive foot to step into the new week. I cant wait to manage that again. Its quite therapeutic- when you have the time and inclination- less so when we are over committed and stressed about the weekend to do list being seemingly unachievable in the two days, let alone fitting in any leisure time or relaxation or pauses.

To punctuate my work week ending and this longed for 60 odd hours before Monday morning kicks in, I began with a beautiful chilly bush walk on a favorite local track, late afternoon as the light faded (although happily a little later noticeably each day now) and adorned with a clear rainbow.

I am a great believer in routines and rituals, and find their rhythm and consistency soothing. Certain things I like to savor and enjoy over the weekends, baths, afternoons with time to sit with a book and a pot of tea, meal planning, re setting the laundry knowing I’m completely up to date, clean, dry, folded, ironed, fresh sheets and towels, school uniforms ready and outfits and workout gear ready.

Mid week its easy to get caught up- especially I find in the winter, where with shorter days, it hard not to feel you are constantly racing, trying to beat the clock, and often longing to either have a few more moments in bed or to climb back in at night as its so dark and cold outside at both ends of the day! I find my daily afternoon walks help considerably with this, and I regularly refer to them as my mental heath moments- my morning workouts are for my bodies fitness, the afternoons are food for the soul, head space, and mindful resets.

One afternoon this week I came in from one such walk and instantly felt the pressure of all the to dos left for that evening. I paused, tried to conjure the feeling of time and space I absorbed on my walks, and rather than racing through dinner preparation and multitasking, I put on some Frank Sinatra, lit a candle, and within a very short space of time, found myself dancing and twirling around wielding my bag of spinach or wooden spoon as I danced and hummed my way through cooking the family meal. It took me no longer, but was so much more pleasurable. A lighthearted literal spring in my step- energized from fresh air and upbeat classic crooning. I highly recommend you try!

Its incredible how music can determine a mood and penetrate our thoughts and feelings. Just as now the gentle whirr of my laptop and the tippytap of my key board is accompanied by my peaceful piano. Signaling that after my writing time, I will make a peppermint tea, and re join the family by the crackling fire before climbing into my cosy bed, with our Saturday to look forward to.

This week I have also consciously tried to go to sleep with a lovely positive thought in my head, then as soon as I’ve woken in the morning ready to start my day (with or without the aid of my alarm) I’ve encouraged myself to remember that thought. I am a morning person anyway, but to mindfully start your day with gratitude and a positive happy thought really does help set a tone for the day. To the point where though out the day if things get a little frayed, its easier and quicker to swiftly bring yourself back to a place of positivity and gratitude. Try it! It can be something tiny and very simple and sweet, as long as it resonates with you and makes you feel a warm inner glow or turns your mouth up at the corners- it’ll do the job perfectly.

Contentment is within us and how we choose to navigate our everyday.

Community, contentment and a sense of belonging

Sat, 03 Aug 2024 19:34:00 GMT

Life is in full swing here as we speed towards spring, and this week had been no exception with business, eventfulness and another 7 days flying by! The weather has been a complete mixed bag too- adding its own drama and uniqueness to the week, biblical rains and alfresco walm lunches, icy windy walks and pitch dark bush searches for lost children (Safely found eventually, thank goodness!)

The clear and resounding theme throughout all these varied events is community, spirit and belonging.

I’m feeling the renewed warm glow of a true sense of place and such gratitude that I am fortunate enough to live in a supportive, caring community. We are technically still part of a big sprawling city, but we are rural and on a peninsular of sorts surrounded by native bush, woodlands, and coastline.

I have come to realize that now, having lived in this immediate area for over 20 years (all be it in 3 homes over that time frame) that while I am so comforted and supported by our community, I am also very much a part of it too. I’m not an interloper or newby. We have been here for enough years to feel part of the fabric of that community, and a valuable cog in its diverse mix. Through my local job and having our own children grow up and attend kindergarten and school in the area, we have friends, neighbours, acquaintances and even just familiar faces passing regularly on walks, serving us our coffee, packing our grocery items, greeting us by name in the pharmacy, tooting and waving as they pass in their cars. My mother lives a little way away but we still are near enough to frequent the same shops, cafes and markets so she is by extension still in our area.

The events which unfolded this past week involving the young children from next door to us going missing in thick hazardous bush, in the dark and cold, for several hours - (and who were recovered perfectly unharmed just exhilarated by the adventure and a little muddy- unlike their poor parents who’d been frantic with worry!) demonstrated so completely and restored anew my gratitude, appreciation and my own place in this special community.

Regardless of the cold and dark, and with no thought to these children being mostly unfamiliar with the locals and the area having only moved here this year, these incredible, selfless people turned out of their houses on a dark damp night in the middle of winter to search gardens, paths and call out the names of the missing little ones. Police were here very promptly as was the helicopter with its infra red scanner looking for 3 little figures and their pup. My husband sprung into action and boots and head torches were donned and any agenda or commitment or engagements any of us had that evening were quickly put aside and the search was top priority. It was the net work of the locals which finally f9ound and identified them and safely returned them to their Mummy.

It could have been such a different outcome, and we shudder to think. Multiple calls and messages flooded in to help and also to check in if they’d been found and again the next day several locals approached me to enquire after the families wellbeing and hear the full story.

It takes a village is an old expression- so familiar we only use half of it these days- but BOY, does it!

So, while my “baby” is 18,000kms away, I feel enveloped in the friendship and security and support of this incredible community.

On that, I am going to finish my lemon water, and now the watery day light has broken through the pinkish wintry dawn, I plan to walk up to the village for coffee before tackling the household chores and preparing for another full week- possibly a little less eventful and dramatic than last, with a lovely sense of comfort and place in society. A true and peaceful contentment that my place is right here.

The healing power of the space in between

Sat, 27 Jul 2024 02:58:00 GMT

It has been fairly challenging this past week- and not necessarily in a negative way but new feelings and having somewhat confronting emotions paired with less than ideal sleep and a full working week.

But it has given me a unique opportunity for self growth, to learn though experience and to savor and relish, even more than I usually do, the moments of quiet and solitude.

After an early start (5am) most days, a workout then general household chores like laundry, making lunches, preparing element of the evening meal and straightening up the house before setting out for the day, I prefer to walk to work. Occasionally I have to drive due to sever weather, (a little rain doesn’t bother me) time constraints, or heavy items to tote in with me, but more often than not I chose to walk. After the organized chaos and busyness of our household starting their school and work days, the 20-25 minute walk to my place of work enables me to regroup, focus, breathe and feel prepared.

I really noticed this week as emotions ran high at home, that the quiet pockets between the passing cars, or messages pinging, or locals greeting me as they also start their day, we so special and beautiful they made me smile broadly as I walked. The song and trill and call of the various birds seemed to be magnified and like a special piece of music being created for me to remain present, positive and calm.

The more I noticed these brief moments, the more of them I discovered throughout my days. I like to be conscious of my surrounding and I certainly intentional draw a peace and stillness from nature each and every day, but this seemed different. It seemed the universe was tuning me in, creating these little instants to continuously and consistently ground me. Allowing me to experience my emotions without out the over whelm, think though the issues or scenarios without the angst, and feel guided and as though I was being gently carried through my day- being exactly where I was meant to be.

The world seems vast and tiny all at the same time for me and the juxtaposition is a little fragile. While my elder daughter is on the other side of the world having life changing experiences, I too (We too, as the three of us left behind- our youngest, my husband and myself) are feeling the miles in our own ways and interpretations. Evoking memories of travel, adventure, cultures, childhood, holidays and homesickness. I finally appreciate fully how our families, in particular my darling Mother, felt when we ventured into the big wide world as teens- in the days long before what communications are today, and video calls were reserved for sci fi movies.

I have also found a sense of wisdom, under the raw emotions, and a deep, deep understanding of the passing of time, of life’s rich weaving of experiences and emotions and space, and our place within those. these quiet pauses during my days of tuning into the birds and sounds of nature have aided me and enveloped me with a sense of belonging and peace I so needed. Letting me slowly and gently process the turmoil in my head.

I’ll be open that its been tough- a true roller coaster of tears, relief, laughter, confidence, anxiety and apprehension. But even this relatively short time has taught me so much, about myself, my relationships with family, the unwavering support and unconditional love of my husband, the value of true friendship and a trusted support network and community, of skeletons I may still need to deal with in my dusty closet, and of complete faith.

I feel like a fog has lifted somewhat and I can see a clearer path as to who I truly am, and where I am headed. Its renewed my ambition, given me clarity and elevated my mindset. There’s even a frission of excitement about what the future can hold.

It was an exhausting, but necessary week, for me to learn a little more about myself and to grow. The birds were my soundtrack, and a spirit lifting one at that. I topped off my long week with a pot of tea and finishing the novel I was reading curled up on our big sofa after walking home from work. A little luxury I rarely have the opportunity for at that time of day- or allow myself.

SO, while looking forward to a fun and social evening we have planned tonight with some friends, I am headed out to get a second dose of fresh air and bird song for the day, and to allow a peace to fill my lungs and the melodies to fill my ears.

Oooh AND fresh linen on the bed waiting to climb into after a fun soiree X

No Buy Year- another minor whoopsie- a cashmere sweater in a charity shop/ good will for less than $20…… I couldn’t very well leave it there!

The importance of solitude

Fri, 19 Jul 2024 23:52:00 GMT

It was during a recent walk - I loop I frequent regularly around the local neighborhood and down the to beach- an unexpected clarity descended on me, bringing with it a sense of peace and belonging.

I had chosen to walk without listening to a podcast or audio book this particular day, and happily tuned into the quiet sounds of nature and the distant buzz of my communities everyday life around me. A distant hummm of a lawnmower, a far off tapping of a hammer, a plethora of bird song and the odd purr of a passing car.

I was filled with a sense of over whelming gratitude and a calm balance and focus. A truly appreciative acceptance of my place in this world - both in the physical space I occupy and the present moment. This came in such a rush of emotion and took me by such a surprise - in my tracks almost - as the tranquility and stillness of the moment settled upon me and I felt I could breathe deeply.

I experienced this on a morning barely 24 hours after my “little girl” had flown to the other side of the world- alone, and I was not only sleep deprived having tracked her flight throughout the night but, naturally an anxious mama. It was almost as if everything came into focus and a weight physically lifted from my shoulders. I could feel beneath my feet my place on this globe and the sensation of all being well washed over me in a welcome wave.

It is so vital we give ourselves the opportunities to pause and reflect. To allow our minds the space to process and think deeply, letting thoughts swirl and penetrate and at the same time allowing others to pass through and be discarded or dealt with or acknowledged.

Its easy for us to fall into the busy trap of flitting from one task to the next, hopping between to-do lists, and I am guilty of this at times too, but we do need to remind ourselves to pause. To take stock, practice gratitude and to be still.

This circles back to mother nature again and being conscious of being present, noticing the little things. I promise, once you allow yourself to pause, these things come into focus without having to try too hard. It becomes a habit, naturally, and a sense of space and peace you look forward to.

Lack of sleep can pay havoc with our minds, and while I am an advocate for a good long restorative 8 hours, we all experience nights when sleep doesn’t come for whatever reason. Be gentle with yourself. Listen to your body. And listening to your body, not your mind, is crucial on these days- If I’ve had a disturbed night, I crave coffee, sugar and carbs and have a seemingly insatiable appetite. But if you try super hard to tune out that voice, what you actually need is to be gently nurtured, not jarred with caffeine and sugar and spiking and crashing insulin levels! If you can resist and help your poor tired self with plenty of fluids, minimal caffeine, plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables and protein, plus some time outdoors, you will undoubtedly feel better and recover quicker. Plus, setting you up and equipping you for a better nights rest the next night.

To clarify, solitude isn’t loneliness. Solitude is, in my opinion, a necessary piece of the patchwork of life. Allowing ourselves the time is not a luxury and it is certainly not a punishment. Its like ongoing maintenance and heeling. Being alone doesn’t have to feel bereft of company- and shouldn’t- and it doesn’t need to be for lengthy periods of time. I find my daily walks and a peppering of being “home alone” to potter while the rest of the household is out doing whatever throughout the week, is enough for me to have a little head space, time to think, process, write and just absorb the peace. It recharges me enough and brings me back to the present and a place of gratitude to continue my role of busy working mum, while still loving my life and keeping any overwhelm in check.

Start small if this is new to you, pop the kettle on for a pot of tea and light a candle, sit and savor your cup of tea in peace and quiet rather than rushing and slurping while multitasking. The magic will happen if you give it just the tiniest space to flourish.

Remember to stop and "smell the roses"

Fri, 12 Jul 2024 23:57:00 GMT

It is, more often than not, the simplest of things that afford such pleasure or feelings of gratitude and fullness.

In just the last 12-24 hours, I have been so fortunate to experience a cluster of these such experiences:

Walking to the village on a sparkling frosty morning for coffee was the start to my day yesterday.

A sunny crisp afternoon 9 holes on a lush green course amongst the long shadows with a group of wonderful ladies and many birds keeping us company on the greens.

An early hot shower yesterday evening, and after a movie in front of a crackling fire with the family, and I was tucked up in bed with my book and a snuggly kitty before 9pm.

An early walk this morning again with a group of ladies just after the sun rose in frigid temperatures but with plenty of laughs, companionship, splendid views and bright sunshine- and two happy dogs in tow.

Upon returning, hanging my freshly laundered bed linens on the line and stopping to watch the hawk circling and calling way over head and swooping low so I could even make out the markings on his breast feathers. I felt privileged to be present in that moment. standing on my lawn with an armful of damp sheets and a first full of wooden dolly pegs- stopped still watching in awe.

And just a few moments ago, making an oat milk flat white coffee in a Spode mug, to sit at my peaceful sunny desk and notice a rejuvenated orchid bursting with no less than 14 new buds and one beautiful pure white bloom.

Arguably, none of these things cost per se. (or not in those moments, as for the golf) and yet the pleasure derived from the experiences, the uplift in mood setting a vibe for the day, and the valuable reminder to pause, be fully present, and enjoy these moments.

I feel so blessed to be surrounded with wonderful friends and supportive loving family, to feel the sun on my face and the sparkle of frost, and to be someone who looks for the good, the positive, the beauty and the uniqueness of everydays.

With that said, I’m keeping this post brief this week, and I am choosing to gently potter through my weekend, getting tasks accomplished but with no sense of pressure or duty, and relaxing into time with my family before “my baby” takes off for an adventure on the other side of the world.

Knowing how, and when to recharge

Fri, 05 Jul 2024 00:28:00 GMT

I have just walked back into my sun filled cozy home, with the fire still burning in the hearth- lit before dawn, from a long, frosty and unimaginably beautiful walk. It was a true winter wonderland out there - something here in the upper North Island we don’t experience that frequently in winter. The course I took for my delicious coffee pause in the village was around 9Km, and while it mostly followed the road, a large park and lots of green space boarders the route and some wide expansive views across trees to the water.

I was genuinely thrilled to be fortunate enough to experience such an outrageously beautiful morning, and countless picturesque vignettes. I felt exhilarated and with each fridged breath felt my heart soar a little higher and my well of gratitude fill to the very brim. I wish I could bottle that feeling and bring it out when I need it. Everything felt right with the world and I felt so at peace. And so incredibly blessed and content.

While we are navigating some bumpy territory as a family at present, and doing our best to remain positive and grounded, when I’m walking out in nature- (whatever the weather but on a breathtakingly beautiful morning as this even more so-) You cannot but be in the present moment. Absorbing the delights of the season and mother nature’s magic asks of you, very persuasively, to be here in the now. In these rich moments it would require a conscious effort to dwell on the past or think too much of the future. As I walk in these surroundings, one foot in front of the other, no distractions, not even a breeze, just bird song, I know, deep, deep down, that everything will work out. It is all happening for a reason. And I am right here in this exact moment, exactly where I should be.

It is these vital times, this space we afford ourselves regularly, that provides an environment and mindset for the grounding and reflection we need. Some may find this space in other ways and from different sources, but as a self diagnosed HSP (highly sensitive person) and an extroverted introvert- I love the company of others, but I need to have the ability to dial it back afterwards and have time alone, to recharge, digest and reset.

We have a home which is well set up for entertaining (Not that that is required to entertain but it helps! We have lived in far smaller homes and still filled it with the company of family and friends regularly) And I love to entertain- I enjoy cooking and hosting, planning, creating - lighting candles, or the open fire or the Barbecue, polishing glassware, placing fresh towels in the powder room, fresh flowers in the entrance way, re stocking amenities so guest feel welcome and catered for, and preparing food and drinks to delight and satiate. But I have also learned I need to top myself back up after these events or gatherings. I have an inbuilt expectation how long these things may go for, and when approach that boundary I start to feel drained not enlivened. I know I need time alone to process and refuel afterwards- even after a casual coffee, or a full blown 5 course late dinner and house guests.

Partly, this may be to do with age and maturity, but I seem to recall always feeling a little like this. These days it is also comforting to know I am not alone- through a likeminded on line community, various authors and bloggers I follow, and friends- who feel just the same. I was delighted to discover a lovely girlfriend of mine was tickled we had tickets to a matinee performance in the city, as it meant we could enjoy lunch out and the show and still both be home for a relaxing shower, an easy supper (A rare “naughty” treat of granola and yoghurt for dinner!) and some peaceful restorative quiet time before bed.

It is important to know your own social boundaries and your expectations- don’t let others set those for you. Your needs are yours. When extending invitations or making plans - be clear on a time frame. If needs be, give yourself a get out.

“Do pop in for coffee- 10.30am would be great as we have to head out just before 12”

“We’d love you to come for a casual dinner, lets eat early as its a school night so come around 5.30pm”

“Shall we meet for afternoon tea then we can all be home and cosy before it gets dark and cold?”

You can still be a perfect, gracious hostess, just within the limitations of your energy levels, so hosting wont leave you anxious and fatigued, but allow you to thoroughly enjoy company. Even when My dear Mother comes for dinner, I enjoy the alone time doing the dishes and resetting the kitchen at the end of the evening- having always treasured her time with us all.

I am feeling energized and uplifted after my dreamy morning;

Waking before my alarm (always so much more refreshing that an abrupt awakening- especially if its very dark and sub zero outside!)

A tall glass of water with a squeeze of lemon before a strong black coffee as the fire crackled into life and the shapes of the silhouetted tress began to take form outside the windows.

Hanging white, freshly laundered sheets on the line at first light with numb fingers, then my revitalizing and inspiring walk- punctuated with a delicious warming oat milk coffee.

And home to my sunny warm sanctuary, affectionate kitties, a nourishing breakfast, and a gentle hour of peace and tranquility in which to write.

A pretty perfect start to the weekend. A heart filled with gratitude, fresh linen on the bed, a warm, tidy and inviting home, and after a round of golf with the ladies this afternoon in the sun, a good book to cozy up with by the fire this evening. My coffee was $7. The rest of this glorious day is priceless.

Positivity List

Sat, 29 Jun 2024 08:05:00 GMT

After a busy, full, but positive week topped off with a public holiday and some gorgeous wintry sunshine, I’m keeping it simple with this weeks post- A list of things I find excellent tools to help me stay calm, positive, and remain present:

Start the day right- Upon waking, I have a long tall glass of room temperate water to rehydrate after what was hopefully a restful sleep. Regardless, your body needs water and to flush out any toxins. I vary between just water, water with a pinch of Himalayan rock salt to help with electrolyte balance, and there have been times when I’ve regularly taken it with a squeeze of fresh lemon, to zing it up, add some vitamin C and aide digestion.

A 10 minute yoga stretch, or some meditation. I am working on my meditation skills- or trying to - my mind keeps wandering(!) But to feel your breath and wake up the body gently with a good dose of gratitude is always a good idea. We can all squeeze in10 minutes even if its before bed and not as you wake.
A walk- for however long and where ever your legs take you- rain or shine. Be present, observe the nature surrounding you- even in a city there is plenty- birds, cloud formations, trees, parks. Its there if you seek it. Walking is my non negotiable daily dose of mindfulness and headspace.

Read or browse something positive or inspirational. This might be a favorite blog, a passage from a book you love and have read and re read, a magazine article, a celebrity or sports personality whom you admire and aspire to their healthy vibrant way of living. A motivational you tube video- Ted talk, Oprah or an interesting author. Something to pep you up and push you forward.
Bake a delicious treat for afternoon tea or cook something nutritious and delicious with no time constraints and some favorite music. I love to prepare dinner to Jazz, and bake to classical for instance.

A green juice. Nothing makes me feel like I am nourishing my body and zapping it with the good stuff than a green juice: Green apple, spinach or kale, lemon juice, fresh ginger, iced water- blend until completely smooth and outrageously green, drink immediately- preferably outside.
If the season permits- sit by a cracking fire and just listen. Its so soothing and such a basic act that has served all our ancestors in one way or another- its very grounding and evocative. A fire pit or bonfire is equally charming - marshmallow toasting, baked potato roasting, or coastal - but the smell and crackle is unbeatable.
Candles- the tranquility their light brings, the moment of lighting- even during the day, and my personal favorite is the scent. Instantly elevates my mood and immediate environment.
Breath in the ocean. I find there is little more a grounding location to keep me in the present than the beach. And while I love a tropical island as much as the next person, a rugged wintry shore is absolutely as beautiful if not better. A wind swept cliff top to blow the cobwebs away is pure magic, as is watching an amber globe melt into a warm ocean. I am lucky enough to live in a coastal area, in fact, you are hard pushed to be anywhere in New Zealand too far from the ocean, but any body of water or river, lake, waterfall or stream serves just as worthy a purpose for lifting the spirits and boosting your outlook.

Time in the garden. getting your hands dirty- literally. It ticks so many boxes- Fresh air, vitamin D, physical exercise, productive, rewarding, and wonderful for the spirit. Even just mowing the lawns makes me feel centered. Gardening allows you to pause and step back and relish the changing seasons, the wonders of mother nature, and the rhythms which surround us throughout the year. Their predictability and routine and cycles help me reflect, compose myself and take huge rejuvenating breaths.

And a bonus 11. Is there anything more luxurious, rejuvenating and rewarding than sinking into a hot bath with gently flickering candles and a book or a podcast or some music or just peace at the end of a long day of work, gardening, housework, exercise ….well , anything. Top that off with climbing into fresh line dried sheets……

Trusting your instincts and your inner compass

Fri, 21 Jun 2024 01:24:00 GMT

This week has been a week of lessons and self-discovery. Whilst it has been tumultuous for several reasons - Which I wont get into here- It has also been of great value and encouraged me to reflect, be brutally honest with myself and my chosen life path, and to listen to my gut instinct. It has been, at times, stressful and emotionally demanding- yet has taught me such valuable life lessons, and lessons I either needed to learn about myself or at least re visit, that I am left buoyed, lighter, and all the wiser for it.

I am now enjoying a beautiful sense of calm and contentment and a feeling of completeness, that if these situations hadn’t arisen, I would have been oblivious to their timely necessity.

Something I deeply appreciated over the past days has been the power of the outdoors, natural light and a sense of space. During some of the more challenging moments I took myself on walks and each time, (sometimes alone, sometimes with a friend or my husband) there was a deep peace that came with the fresh air, big skies and magical hues. It became a coping mechanism which truly worked, it put the issues into perspective, allowed reflection, a little distance- physically and metaphorically, and was so incredibly calming and reassuring, I was instantly more focused, less anxious and more positive, just through being out in nature and taking great deep lungful’s of fresh crisp air. Allowing time and space to let my inner voice be heard, and importantly, acknowledged.

I like to think that Everyday Contentment is a place of positivity, beauty and gratitude, as indeed that was the thought behind its creation, but sometimes part of that process is going though the not- so- lovely bits, reevaluating, reflecting and coming back full circle to being truly thankful and content with what is already in your life.

I have learned some boundaries, some triggers, a clearly defined comfort zone, and have gratefully absorbed the abundance of unconditional love and friendship I am so lucky to be surrounded with.

It has sharpened my focus on the directions I do wish to pursue, areas I need to improve, and skill sets I’d like to acquire and master. Perhaps others I don’t, and can leave those to someone else to perfect.

It feels like a new chapter, a fresh start, and a clarity of vision which makes me excited and hugely optimistic for the opportunities still out there, patiently waiting for the right time. My right time.

The mantra - you are in exactly the right place, at exactly the right time, doing exactly the right thing, has been a solid comfort to me. And I do believe it’s the case.

Here’s to a deep breath filled, peaceful, relaxed and contented weekend full of love, gratitude- and plenty of fresh air and time outdoors.

No Buy Year – Half Yearly Update

Sun, 16 Jun 2024 09:32:00 GMT

Hard to believe we are already halfway thought the year almost- this coming week will be our shortest day here in New Zealand- hurrah! The down hill to Spring! As regular readers will know I actually enjoy and savor all the seasons for their unique qualities, but I do struggle with the lack of day light hours in the depths of winter- When it feels as though you are racing the clock to get everything you want achieved in natural light, before the draw to be cosy and snuggled in for the night becomes irresistible.

So I am halfway through my no buy year- which is quite extraordinary really. And probably high time for a few home truths…

A year was probably a little ambitious- it’s rather a long time to see round corners- and hard to predict what twists and turns life may take which inadvertently then “require” new/different/specific garments to be purchased or acquired.

My willpower is also just not that strong! While I haven’t directly bought new clothes, I have bought some sportswear, running shoes, and suggested to my lovely family they might like to gift me a woolen wrap coat I spied on sale for my Mothers Day gift! Which happily they did!

Oh, and a much-needed rain jacket for walking in the downpours as I frequently do- but that was purchased with Airpoints….

Then, just this past week, a huge development in working life and a job offer that just a month ago was inconceivable let alone in my sights. Pair this timing with the news one of my favorite Highstreet but quality timeless classic brands, SPORTSCRAFT is yet another casualty in this recession, and is ceasing trade.

Consequently, this meant that several of their classic and rather lovely pieces were heavily discounted; timely with my recent requirement for some slightly more formal office attire!

So, I made 2 purchases;

A classic wool blazer in camel, and a burgundy silk shirt. Classic, elegant, timeless and elevated.

I am being gentle with myself, and not allowing myself to feel too much guilt or shame for not quite meeting my end of the promise. I will continue to be very mindful and intentional for the remainder of the year, but I have learned to be focused, appreciative and creative with what I am so fortunate to own already. Items I have introduced are genuinely required and will work for me, and with existing pieces for years to come. They were not frivolous items, or spur of the moment impulse buys.

It is still quite possible I will need to add one or two more pieces to my working wardrobe, as the job and environment has changed considerably. But I will keep you updated, and I promise not to be silly, thoughtless or extravagant. Here’s to the next 6 months and to an ongoing appreciation of what I already have, and a mindfulness of adding quality pieces as needed.

Savoring time

Fri, 07 Jun 2024 08:34:00 GMT

As I came to the end of one of my early evening walks this week, just as dusk fell in earnest, a blue VW Kombi Van drove past me- my eyesight is not what it was, but even before I could see it clearly, I anticipated the predictable sight of the owners Red setter dogs ears and soft muzzle protruding out of the open window taking in all the sights and smells.

Predictable, as although I do not know the owner or the pup, this van, with its distinctive engine noise and passenger, has been around the neighborhood for many, many years. Now, its quite possible there have been more than one beloved Red Setter over the years, but what spoke to me was the comfort and soothing quality of the routine, the sheer simplicity of contentment, as this dogs muzzle was noticeably greyer then when I last noticed, suggesting this is a daily ritual, has been enjoyed by both occupants, over many years. The peacefulness and harmony of the scene really stuck a chord with me- particularly after a somewhat challenging week.

The obvious delight this pair take in their journey - I’m guessing to the beach- enjoying the air, the scenery, the companionship and the routine, was delightfully calming to witness.

I took real comfort in their regular habit, the time honored routine in amongst the chaos and business of life if we don’t consciously stop, pause, and savor these moments.

I am not a patient person with regards to myself, in fact I’m a terrible patient when I’m sick and have been battling an arm injury of late which I’m finding so frustrating as its preventing doing things I love - I just want it better NOW.

And throughout this rather fraught week, the universe has gently pushed little signs and reminders my way, of practicing patience, of time being something we are not in control of, of its passing if we desire it to quickly or not, it passes at its steady continuous pace regardless.

The D Day landings were commemorated this week- those veterans are the last handful of those brave souls still living, and while they were looking elderly and frail for the most part, I imagine those memories are as sharp and vivid as ever they were. My dear Grandfathers along with their brothers, plus my brave courageous Grandmothers all served. I would think that when they reflect on those harrowing days it seems as though no time has passed. They went on to bring up children and have careers, welcome many grandchildren into their lives and some great grandchildren even- As they grew older, the daily habits and rituals become such a comfort and even source of joy for them- particularly after retirement. It gave their days purpose and structure. They were lucky enough to mostly live good long fulfilling lives- and it gives me comfort to reflect on their gentleness and their conservative and respectful use of time: Writing letters, time in the garden, savoring the seasons for their beauty, bounty and harvest, watching grandchildren grow, nurturing relationships and friendships in their village and being involved in their church community, preparing a meal from scratch as there was no other way, growing vegetables, making jam, collecting fire wood, reading the paper. Phones were in one place with a chord attached to the wall (and telephone numbers were 3 digits long!). News was delivered to the doorstep rolled up, shops closed at 12noon on Saturdays and were never open on Sundays, holidays were packing up the car and driving an hour or two away- to friends or with a tent, roasts were on Sundays after church with the family all present, cakes were decorated with smarties and were full of sugar, butter (and gluten!) Bellows were used to re start the fires embers on a cold morning, tea was in a pot- always- roses bloomed every summer, copper and brass were polished every month, and “40 Winks” were enjoyed every afternoon- on the swing seat in the garden in warmer months, and tucked up by the fire in winter.

I think I am craving not only a simpler life at the moment, but also the calm, ‘can do’ attitude that was a given to them, along with the ‘make do’ sentiment. No racing, no rushing, no over commitment.

This weekend I feel a deep desire to step back, take things slow, re evaluate and re appreciate everything in my life. To give time and space to my genuine gratitude, and to reflect a little on how fast time passes, willed or no.

A sunny day is forecast and dinner with good friends, punctuated with walks and books and restorative sleep is my hope. A weekend to savor indeed.

A full week

Sat, 01 Jun 2024 23:25:00 GMT

A wintry dawn sky

This week has been out of the ordinary in so many ways, which in itself I find rather exhausting.

“You are in Exactly the right place, at exactly the right time, doing exactly the right thing” Oprah

This has been a comfort and source of strength and encouragement to me throughout the week in various situations.

Two things I’ve had to remind myself of during the last few days:

Not to over commit, some weeks - such as this- it can’t be helped, but having a jam-packed schedule sprinkled with a few high stress situations and several late nights left me feeling wrung out and exhausted.

Thank fully we are having a full but very pleasant long weekend, full of relaxed social engagements, errands, time in the garden and time with each other- So I’m starting to feel more refreshed and relaxed and very grateful for the Monday holiday! For me this involves equal measures of down time, social interactions and fresh air- along with feeling organized and prepared for the coming week.

Secondly, we have to be prepared for storms- metaphorical ones and the thunder and lightening kind. They’re going to happen periodically and while we can prepare to an extent, we can never fully know their full effect until after the fact. It’s wise to step back, take stock, plan, make provisions, and approach the “clear up” as an opportunity for fresh growth and new beginnings.

Recession is very real and evident here at this point. Many business are struggling and in the past week alone 3 large retailers- one a veritable institution of over 140 years, are closing their doors for good. So very sad for all the hundreds of employees and inevitably heartbreaking for the owners and those who’s had to make such a hard call.

Its also been a week where 3 friends/ colleagues have very sadly lost loved ones, not entirely unexpectedly but devastating never the less, and leaving the families understandably reeling.

Even in these darker moments, we must remind ourselves to seek the good- stay positive, and have faith there is a plan- We are in the right place at the right time doing the right thing….A new business venture comes to the fore as another one wraps up, an opportunity to travel that didn’t present itself before, a loved one slipping away peacefully from their pain and suffering after a good long life. A career change that wasn’t remotely on the horizon until a turn of events. A special person you are about to meet, a new friendship about to blossom, or reconnecting with an old friend.

My lovely Mum has taken it upon herself to adopt a very elderly cat this week- one of the poor souls who passed away a few days ago left behind her much loved 21 year old cat- yes, 21! So she now has a new home with Grannie- a tentative decision at first but as it turns out a very lovely and gentle union. A pussycat who is well in herself but so advanced in years she cant possibly be here for a huge amount longer, a sweet, petite gentle little thing who’s world has been utterly turned upside down, now she and my Mother are keeping each other company and adjusting to their new life together- however temporary- a warm loving, peaceful and quiet last home for the cat, and an unexpected bit of much missed furry company for a lifetime cat lover. Its really very touching. And of somewhat of a relief to the family left behind that the treasured kitty whom they were unable to take on, has a comforting and supportive new home for as long as she requires it.

As I type at the kitchen table with a coffee on this grey Sunday morning, a piece of music just came on (KUSC) which just pulled me instantly back about 40 years! It was the music in a story cassette tape I used to listen to in my bedroom as a child of the Secret Garden, Francis Hodgson Burnett. Isn’t it extraordinary how a smell or sound can transport you so completely!? Another timely reminder that our tour here on earth is finite and goes by quickly. We need to savor all these little moments along with the big ones, as its all these compiled that make up our lives. All these events, people, jobs, joys and losses, gains and wins, pets, family, loves and experiences, ultimately make up the rich tapestry of our own lives.

My Own copy, still treasured; gifted to me by my mother on my 10th Birthday. 36 years ago!\

On that note we are off to celebrate a dear friends 50th - which I know she’s had a little wobble about, but age truly is just a number, and she’s one of the fittest, healthiest people I know and a true friend and inspiration. SO here’s to 50 more happy healthy years ahead! Why not!?

Contentment formula...

Sun, 26 May 2024 08:40:00 GMT

Over this past weekend I took a long wet blustery walk and listened to a podcast. It was a fascinating interview which I took much from but towards the end an ah ha moment literally stopped me in my tracks, to rewind several seconds and relisten. Although this was mostly an expert speaking to the dangers of sugar on our health- when he explored the “ingredients “ for contentment, it really struck a chord.

As the professor went on to explain the 4 C’s in relation to health, I chose to interpret into a quality of life, and a guideline to living well, living a simple yet sophisticated life and cultivating an elegant and chic signature style and nourishing our bodies and mind with a balanced vibrant diet.

The four C’s for Contentment:

Connect- In person. Talk to people, be it the teller at the checkout, a colleague, friends, family, spouses, partners. Make the time for a coffee, a walk, text to arrange meeting up rather than your only source of communication, turn off the TV, eat together at the table, have a date night, take a walk, a picnic- just interact, make eye contact, with real people. Skype, Zoom, Facetime- are no substitute.

Contribute- Contribute with purpose, give to others- without expecting a return. Give gladly with a full heart. Aspire to be a Philanthropist.

Cope- Cope has negative connotations, but we can look at it from another angle. All the good things we know we ought to be doing in order to cope and we KNOW we feel better and benefit if we do. Good quality sleep, mindfulness, exercise- all these activities tamper cortisol, the stress hormone, thus making everything more Copeable.

Cook- Cook from scratch where possible. Know what you are putting into your bodies. Choose your ingredients, rejoice in fresh produce, be excited about creating fresh tantalizing meals that are good for you as well as utterly delicious. Satiating and satisfying and YUM. Minimize anything you get from a packet or box. Everything in moderation.

We know all this - We really truly do, we just need gentle reminders to put it into practice, or re put it into practice.

Credit for Inspiration and the concept of the 4 C’s for Contentment

Robert Lustig

Professor of pediatric endocrinology

A week of beauty

Fri, 24 May 2024 07:59:00 GMT

Signature scent. This doesn’t have to be the same scent for ever and ever, but to hone it down to a select few- 4 tops, is to create an identity with that special YOU scent. I like to wear heavier fragrances in fall and winter, then something lighter - perhaps citrusy in the warmer months. My go to brand is Chanel, I find their scents last on me and are a good match for my skins chemistry. My family would say “My Scent” is Coco Chanel, which I have worn for decades. I became rather a perfume –a -holic in my 20s so around the time of our wedding I asked my husband to pick the scent he thought was most me, and if he got a waft at any point - from me or out and about- he’d automatically think of me. Coco was it and still is. I do enjoy its variants too and have recently re discovered Mademoiselle Coco, which I find is a soft, warm fragrance with vanilla notes, and just enough vetiver so as not to be sickly sweet. I love to spritz Chanel No5 or No19 in the summer- both light and fresh yet long lasting. Coco Noir is a heady sensual fragrance for evening wear I occasionally enjoy along with Allure which again I rediscovered having worn it in my 20’s and 30’s- and I love Chanel Gabrielle- but sadly that along with Chanel Cristalle just don’t have the staying power on my skin. I have experimented and enjoyed many other brands over the years but the only ones I have found other than Chanel that tick the boxes are Paloma Picasso, Tom Ford and Christian Dior- Dolce Vita.

I have a new discovery I’m looking forward to adding to my repertoire- new to me, the fragrance was created back in the 1920’s amazingly and its truly intoxicating. Upper Ten, by Lubin. Whatever it is , you’ll find your scent by experimenting, testing and going back to fragrances that speak to you- there are SOOO many on the market now and many small boutique perfumeries creating magic with top quality and environmentally sensitive ingredients. One of my absolute happy places are the old fashioned perfume and beauty halls in big independently owned department stores- I feel myself relax the moment I’m over the front entrance, gliding as opposed to walking and I am instantly elevated when surrounded by sparking glass cabinets, glistening bottles and clouds of lovely smells! Have fun discovering!

A quality bronzer- for year round glow. I have several recommendations, and I tend to change mine up seasonally. I alternate between a cream bronzer and a compact powder bronze. My absolute go to is a mat bronze by Too Faced, its buildable paired with a lovely full bronzing brush - apply in a 3 and an E to hit temples, just under the cheek bone and at the jaw line. I have recently switched to Chanels Soleil tan bronze which I have taken to applying with my daughter’s beauty blender. I’ve leaned lately towards cream based products in general over the last few months as I found my skin crying out for moisture. Even moving to cream eye colors and blush.There are lots of other quality brands of varying shades and sunkissedness, just find one that you feel suits your skin tone- perhaps a little darker for summer months but its nice to apply a little year round to feel a little uplifted healthy glow without the UV.
Soap. Unglamorous and old fashioned some may think but I genuinely love a good, quality cake of soap. Roger and Gallet, Savon de Marseille, Pears and Imperial Leather. All these brands- mostly very old - in fact they’ve all been around for many many years- Imperial Leather began manufacturing in 1921, Pears since 1807, Roger & Gallet back in 1879 and the absolute classic cube of Savon De Marseille for over 600 years!! All these soaps have a history and fragrance which evokes unique and personal memories for me- Pears and Imperial Leather have strong connections with my beloved Grandparents, and the quintessentially French varietals take me back to summers in the south of France and Easters in Paris. While some of these brands possibly don’t sit as well as they could from an environmental standpoint these days, its still worth considering the lack of plastics and packaging in a traditional bar of soap- often wrapped in paper even- by comparison to the plastic bottles that adorn many of our showers and bathtubs. Savon De Marseille has been made the same way for hundreds of years, with no synthetic colourings or scents and no additives. It has a unique clean smell reminiscent of olive groves and is possibly a little masculine - certainly nothing floral. It’s rarely purchased in any packaging at all, and those big iconic cubes last several months. I keep one in the shower and one in a pretty glass footed bowl by the bath, and its even gentle enough that I frequently use it to cleanse my face too. Soap is one of those products often found at Farmers markets and health stores produced by local artisans or farms, and I always make sure to pick up a cake or two when I’m fortunate enough to be perusing market stalls with my French shopping basket and to chat to the vendor about their unique products.
Oil. Body and face oil more specifically. A product that perhaps can be somewhat polarizing as many don’t enjoy the sensation of oil directly on our skin. There are several brands on the market these days who have successfully perfected the “dry oil” - where all the benefits and nourishment are delivered to the epidermis while skin is still left feeling dry to the touch. I find the scent of many of these oils wonderfully intoxicating and cannot help but savour the luxurious moment as I apply to my face and/or body straight after a hot bath or shower. I love to use body oils mostly in the summer months, but face oil I use year round and can hear my skin sighing with blessed relief when I apply it by patting it in once or twice a week before bed. The two brands I use most are Clarins, Blue Orchind Treatment Oil and NUXE Huile Prodigieuse- both french Bien Sur! And again, these generally are packaged in glass bottles- recyclable, and also tend to last longer than a typical body lotion or moisturizer that’s slathered on from its plastic tub or pump bottle.
Green Juice. Continuing with my Beauty Series with beauty from within: In the past, I would have instantly thought yuck. It actually took me several years to acquire a tentative taste for any green juice, and then to develop combinations I genuinely really love. (I made myself like olives too- forcing myself over a couple of decades to keep trying them until now I honestly do find them delicious!) Beauty from the inside out is most certainly not an empty saying. Its all very well having beautifully applied maquillage, lustrous locks and smelling devine, but without a good base layer, its only papering over the cracks. Sleep and nutrition are massively important foundations to health, wellbeing, longevity- and yes, beauty. For clear skin, a radiant complexion, healthy teeth and bones and good energy levels- how we re charge and how we fuel and move our bodies is paramount. Hydration is key and I am a lover of high quality electrolytes and good old H20, as well as being conscious and mindful of what’s on the end of my fork. For a nutrient power boost that you feel zinging though you instantly, several times a week I make a zesty green juice. Sometimes as an afternoon pick-me-up, sometimes as part of a balanced light lunch.

My Go To recipe for green juice is as follows (All ingredients washed and fresh and all eyeballed quantities, winging it depending on the vessel you wish to drink out of but I pretty much fill my vitamix up!)

Iced water - 2 cups

Spinach/ Kale or mixture - 2 cups

Juice of one lemon- plus zest if you wish

1 Grannie smith apple- cut into quarters with core removed- skin on

1 generous thumb sized piece of fresh ginger, skin roughly removed.

Pinch pepper or cayenne pepper if you’re feeling hot.

Blitz thoroughly until you have a bright vibrant foamy elixir, drink immediately before it settles though a metal straw. WOW 😀

Sleep. Quality, restorative sleep. And yes I know, We can go through phases- sometimes extended if you are as unlucky as my dear husband, of poor sleep, disturbed sleep or just not enough. Babies, travel, hormones, worry and anxiety, poor diet and eating habits, a gazillion things can contribute to a poor nights sleep. And don’t you ALWAYS feel so much hungrier after a night of rough sleep or not adequate hours? Double whammy. Some of these factors are beyond our control, but we can put in place good habits, rituals and tools to give us the best chance. My magic number is 8 hours. Do I get that 7 nights a week? Nope. But I do try, and I do put in place systems and practices to make the most of the hours I do get.

A good nighttime routine- try not to eat too late, no screens at least 40 minutes before bed, reading, having a ritual and bedtime that provides cues and signals to your body and brain that its time to wind down for the day. Getting organized for the following day (outfit ready, lunches packed, lists made, Breakfast easily accessible, a tidy kitchen) before taking a hot bath or shower, sipping a peppermint tea, some light stretching, dim lighting, reading, and endeavoring to slip into bed at a time that allows you to bank the sleep you need for the most part. For me this is 9pm as I rise at 5am. But usually it’s closer to 10 before I nod off. Unrestrictive and comfortable sleepwear- that you feel lovely in, no baggy bad tee shirts here thank you very much. I prefer a simple slip in summer and a night shirt in winter- not a Pyjama girl. Supportive, high quality pillows. We are all very particular about our pillow - I’ve been known to take my perfect feather pillow on overseas holidays even! And High quality, fresh and clean bed linens made of natural fibers to allow your skin to breath and for the ultimate comfortable nights sleep. I vary between 100% Egyptian cotton with a high thread count, and our gorgeous Belgian linen sheets- I feel like a princess, especially when they are freshly off the line that day. Bliss. Set yourself up with the best tools and equipment- that fit within-your budget to have the best chance of obtaining the slumber you need to wake up refreshed and revitalized ready for a brand new day. High quality bed linens will last years and are investment pieces- you don’t need to purchase several sets all at once, build your repertoire over time, and enjoy the luxurious process.

Exercise, get out doors.

This last item on the list may seem unrelated to beauty, but much as with sleep, fresh air and moving your body is essential to good health and vitality. Getting outside each and every day- regardless of the weather (Case in point today as I squelched home after a huge downpour while still a considerable distance from home) . I have always loved hiking, taking walks, and generally getting outdoors when possible. Even in my teens, I was a member of the school rambling club, where we’d spend weekends hiking through the mountains and valleys of Wales, parts of Exmoor and Dartmoor and the Brecon beacons. During the first lockdown here, my daily schedule shifted considerably- and inevitably, as most of us experienced. So after rising super early each day to accomplish my work, and then be around to be home school mum and head cook and bottle washer, I began religiously taking long afternoon walks- to the extent I literally wore out a good 2 pairs of sneakers over the 3 month lockdown. While in many ways life has resumed much of its normality, my afternoon walking tradition hasn’t wavered even slightly. In fact I feel out of sorts and rather cheated if I cant manage an hour outside before evening duties commence- dinner, transporting children, folding laundry etc. Sometimes just my footsteps and the birdsong or the patter of rain keep me company, sometimes my eldest daughter joins me, sometimes a friend - with or without a welcomed Pup, sometimes a podcast, but each and every day. Vitamin D and Movement- exercise, all contribute to a feeling of wellbeing, lowered cortisol (Stress) general fitness, and a glow of freshness and elevated mood. It lifts me, lifts my mood, gives me thinking space, room to develop ideas and ponder new thoughts and makes me genuinely happy and contented. There is little more beautiful on any of us than a genuine smile.

Time

Thu, 16 May 2024 08:56:00 GMT

Time, something we all use every single day- probably even refer to it most days at some point, and something most of us could use just a little more of.

Time is a precious commodity. I was pondering this on one of my walks earlier this week; for so many of us each day is scheduled with have to’s, and even if those have to’s are things we enjoy or that fulfil us- a job we love, our children, our exercise regimen, ensuring we call it a night at a reasonable time to try and clock those precious hours of sleep we individually require. Whatever the make up or combination of those 24 hours, most of us would gladly enjoy a few extra, in order to fit in things we’d like to do, mean to do or aspire to do.

“Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.”– Bil Keane

Its a very real challenge to prioritize this commodity of time. We all get frustrated with ‘wasted time’, or feel rewarded with ‘time well spent’ because one thing is for certain-

We cannot replace time that has past or purchase more of it.

This thought started me down a, not unpleasant, rabbit hole of thinking about how to spend our time more intentionally and wisely.

What tasks in my life can be outsourced? The cleaning, the cooking, admin, perhaps errands or chores that can be doubled up on, or an entirely different structure to my days to allow space- time- to incorporate more of what I wish to be spending my time on?

The perfect example of this is my writing: I so deeply want to feel unrushed and when I sit down at my laptop, rejoice in the delicious abundance of hours ahead of me- but rarely, if ever, is this the case. I snatch 20 minutes here, an hour there, in order to partake and engage in one of my greatest desires and wishes. To write, unhurried, unhindered and uninterrupted. Usually several days go by at a time where there simply aren’t enough hours in the day.

How can we re think this? How can I rejuggle my thoughts, priorities and commitments to allow this space - this time, to flourish and nurture my creativity and to follow my dream?

With my magic wand, the extra hours created would mean I could start each day at dawn with lemon water and quiet meditation (Something I very rarely get or make time to do)

They would be used to enjoy a long walk (one day with a pup of my very own) early every single morning, including those where I might run or workout too, because I wouldn’t be rushed.

I’d have time to pause everyday in the afternoon to have a quiet 20 minutes with a pot of tea and a book- curled up by a crackling fire, sitting in a sunny nook, in a breezy shady spot to escape the heat, or cozied up on the sofa with the rain pouring.

I’d enjoy reading a few books per week, not a month. I’d read a boarder variety of subjects and topics- including more non fiction.

Id learn a new language- with a good grasp of French and a smattering of Spanish I’ve always fancied trying my hand at Italian…

I’d have time each week for two or three gentle, restorative, yet strengthening and challenging yoga sessions.

I wouldn’t need to blast round for a power hour of cleaning as I’d have time to do a thorough job, once.

The revelations that came to me during these ponderings were -

Its very apparent that in order to recharge and be the best version of myself (and to show up as that person for my family and friends each day,) I deeply desire- indeed require, alone time. Time with my thoughts, time in nature, and time to feed my mind and curiosities. Space.

And

I need to reevaluate my options sans magic want to try and make these 24 hours, or more precisely 168 hours of my weeks, work better for me- towards my goals, my needs, dreams and desires- and the remaining roughly 290,000 hours I potentially have left on this Earth……

If that doesn’t spur you into action to look at how you spend your time - I’m not sure what will.

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”– J. R. R. Tolkien

Treasured Days

Thu, 09 May 2024 22:23:00 GMT

Do you have a particular day of the week you especially look forward to with eager anticipation? One that you know will be just as you hoped and that will fill your cup, recharge and inspire you, and propel you forward to the next week?

My week is very much in 3 parts, all of which I enjoy and I am grateful for their differences. But today, Friday, each week, is treasured even more and I am so grateful for it.

Three of my days are taken up with my job of several years, two of the days are weekend days and are about family, friends and re setting, and 2 days are for me to manage and structure as I please.

I try to get errands and jobs and have to tasks seen to on one of those ME days, but on Friday; Friday is my tonic. My refresher, My day to revitalize.

Of course - some weeks this day can get full of have to’s, or things change, or I am out most of the day for some reason. But when I can, my perfect Friday encompasses some of my favorite things which I know I need- from my experience of burn out- in order to be the best person I can be for the rest of the week.

The afternoon autumn sun streaming though the windows

What does your perfect day look like? It doesn’t have to be anything grand or expensive- A day that refreshes your soul and fills you with positive energy and a sense of peace and calm perhaps?

To give you an idea- here is what my ideal day looks like:

*Wake early, before the family, feeling refreshed from a good sleep.

*Quietly make my way to the kitchen where I make a cup of tea or coffee, (I’m currently enjoying New York Breakfast black tea or I’ll have a double espresso- but first, a tall glass of water) greet the cats and feed them their breakfast, then sit (Outside in the warmer months) with my hot drink, and my notepad, either planning my day, making some notes, or just simply enjoying the tranquility of a slumbering house hold in the early morning.

*Gently wake the household for work and school and prepare their breakfasts and lunches to give them more time, pop some laundry on and keep my kitchen ordered.

*When the hustle and bustle have all gone out of the front door or garage a delicious peace descends on the house- and its still only 7.30am! Its at this time while its still early I like to have a run on the treadmill or a long walk on one of my regular local loops for an hour or so. The reward of a hot shower, choosing my clothes (Something stylish, feminine and that will inspire me to carry myself well, apply decorum to everything I do and also a joy for me to wear) and getting ready for the day with simple fresh hair and makeup and a much anticipated coffee is such a savored treat.

*I am all too aware how fast these precious hours can drift if I am not mindful of them, so I like to be efficient while also relaxed during my day. Nothing like a good to do list all ticked off by late afternoon to give me a satisfied glow! I tend to any Financial Friday/ Desk day tasks or anything I’ve put off or didn’t get to yesterday. After hanging any laundry outside if its fine, it is with glee that I then sit at my writing desk, the window open above, and with no other sounds than the birds and the wind in the leaves, the rain or the cicadas, WRITE. It may be this blog, it may be for a post, it may be in my pretty notepad I keep on hand for ideas, or it may be working on my laptop on one of my books. The Simple luxury of time and quiet to be able to focus and allow my thoughts to blossom is sheer bliss.

*A nutritious breakfast - a smoothie, steel cut oats, protein pancakes, and a bright fresh salad for lunch are moments I savor that punctuate the late morning then mid afternoon.

*Perhaps getting ahead and preparing dinner, folding any laundry which is already dry, spending an hour on some housework or organization task

*When I feel I have accomplished what I had hoped and ticked off sufficient tasks on my list, an afternoon walk - often with an educational or inspirational podcast, before heading back home to make a pot of tea and snuggle in with a book for a little while before the front door is flung open, school bags thrown down, shoes kicked off, blazers discarded and the pastry attacked!

Doesn’t that sound utterly sumptuous! ?

Comfort in timeless simplicity

Fri, 03 May 2024 23:22:00 GMT

If you’re familiar with my posts and writings, you wont be surprised for me to mention the simple pleasure and joy that hanging clean linen on the line gives me. Watching it billow in the sun, knowing its warmth will dry it in a way that cannot be achieved inside. Enjoying the weekly task- the rhythm and predictability and ritual of it- and relishing the sumptuous feeling of sinking into fresh sheets at night, is something I genuinely look forward to over a weekend.

I pondered this morning as I hung out French linen out in the still chilly early air with my wooden dolly pegs, about the generations of women (and yes I say women as it traditionally was) who’ve seen to this task over the centuries, using pegs just like my wooden old fashioned ones, and seizing a sunny breezy day as the perfect opportunity to dry them. OfCourse, I am grateful that mine are laundered at the touch of a button - not lugging water from a well, or hand scrubbing, or using a mangle or any of the other back breaking labor intensive tasks that befell my ancestors. Still, it got me to thinking of these rituals and repetitive regular tasks and traditions that transition from one generation to the next.

As our eldest left home this morning for a Saturday job, jumping in her car to travel there, I was struck anew with how fast these years go and these generations grow, flourish and become their own. My husband wondered aloud if she might fill her car back up with gas on her way home and we reminisced about his parents taking him to fill his first car, and that his grandfather did the same for his parents when they visited as young adults too. They grow and develop and change almost beyond recognition from those sweet little utterly dependent bundles that came into this world, but even as they reach their own milestones of independence, we are still there to help, guide, nurture and support- even with a tank of gas- or a listening ear, a warm home, a bubbling lasagna, or fresh linen- and unconditional love.

I sometimes wonder what habits and rituals I partake in and enjoy- or just tick off- that my girls will continue, and perhaps reflect on how I did it, or tell their children how it was “back when”. These thoughts and musings really encourage me to take a little step back, at the same time reminding me to really be present.

I find it comforting to feel the expanse of history that surrounds me - honoring the past but remaining present. I was reminded of how patient our parents and grandparents were recently- their lives we such that you HAD to wait for things, there was no touch of a button, flick of a switch, instant gratification. Photographs (Of which I take many every single day) were quite an event, or a moment to savor or capture- and then wait a week or so to see if you did! Shops were open much fewer hours and clearly there was no alternative- and if you wanted something you had to SAVE. You had a pair of winter shoes- ONE. You may have had a good coat- ONE- or “Sunday best “ that was definitely a thing in my childhood. Things were used until they wore out beyond repair.

My father’s favorite cheese is Cantal. Its a French cheese of several varietals, and his preferred one is that aged to 36 months- thirty-six months for the Fromager (Cheese maker) to patiently wait, ensuring the surrounding conditions are optimal for that batch, applying the techniques and traditions that have been employed for centuries. Mostly unchanged. Then, as its quite right and proper, that cheese is then truly savored, each morsel enjoyed and appreciated for the quality and the craftsmanship involved. Doesn’t it taste sooooo much better for it?

Perhaps we’d be wise to regularly take stock of what we not only take for granted but barely acknowledge- how easy and simple we have so many things now by comparison- but in the same sentiment, not to loose sight of what these “things”- be it cheese, a washing machine, or a family tradition- went through and evolved or survived in order to be part of your life, your everydays today.

Chablis, a premium wine producer, lost 15-20% of their wine harvest at its early growth stages this spring to violent hailstorms this past week. Those poor Vinters will have to recoup what they can and press on with the season, knowing the outcome wont be ideal, but with hope and faith that the future years will be successful. They will continue with the traditional methods and time tested systems to over come as best they can. Employing patience and trust.

By allowing a little space between our busy days and a point to reflect upon, we are allowing ourselves to truly feel the moments of opportunity as they present themselves, then consciously being in a position to choose when those moments are there to seize them.

Motivated Monday

Sun, 28 Apr 2024 19:48:00 GMT

I had an encroaching heavy feeling, lead in my boots, sluggish and unmotivated. In fact, I was rather snappy and not too pleasant to my family. The new school term was commencing the following day and I just didn’t feel ready. I wanted more leisurely wake ups followed by tea and walks. I wanted time at home, in the garden and writing- a refreshed spark for writing paradoxically was somewhat over shadowing my “other job” making m resentful of it.

A muscular injury was doing nothing to dispel these feelings as even that was hindering me from ploughing into housework and garden maintenance- as is usually the case right before a new term- in order to feel on top of things, prepared and organized. Leaving me frustrated indeed.

Then a series of everyday events unfolded to make me switch my attitude, regain momentum, and not only feel very grateful for everything I do have but far more enthusiastic about heading back into work and my girls into a new , bust term.

A contractor popped over to discuss some ground works with my husband. A chap whose lived in the area for decades, is solidly intrenched in this community and was happy to chat. During the discussion, we touched on his family history- his father having been a prisoner if war (which echoed the fabulous television series we are really enjoying, The New Look, and a podcast I listed to over the weekend) this subject alone making me see just how incredibly fortunate I am- we also talked about all the locals we know in common within our little community, as well as the changing times, a little of the history of where we live and various community projects that are on the go - devised purely to support and help one another.

This conversation genuinely buoyed me and turned my negative thinking around - checking back in with my positivity- and left me feeling not only grateful- but proud even- to be fortunate enough to be part of such a wonderful community. To have all these opportunities ahead and a life ready to be lived and savored each moment.

To cap off the day I took a late afternoon stroll in the dwindling sunshine before cozying up at home. Feeling excited even for the new week ahead, and truly renewed energy and vitality.

Life's a peach

Fri, 26 Apr 2024 04:58:00 GMT

I find its a constant work in progress to take an objective step back and re assess and evaluate our daily lives. And the paradox is that its the simplicity I crave; the simpler and more ’ordinary” my days are, the more contented and relaxed and happy I feel. The most menial of tasks can give such pleasure and reward, and the simplest of gestures fill my heart to the brim. Early this morning, wandering outside between the downpours to snip a fresh (and possibly the last this season) of my Dahlias to pop in a budvase as it was so heavy with rain it was drooping with the weight. Such a simple act, that took a few short moments, but was a most gratifying and delightful little interlude to my morning, and the bloom is bringing brightness and joy to the coffee table in the family room.

Take for example these past few days- my daughter has had intensive ballet seminars each morning, requiring us to leave the house just after 8, which isn’t early by normal standards but this is the school holidays so the pace is different. Its meant if I was to enjoy waking naturally, without setting an alarm, not having enough time to walk or exercise before needing to jump in the car- so instead, I’ve embraced the slower starts, made a pot of tea in my robe, put some laundry on, prepared her breakfast and a snack, and felt unhurried. While its not ideal for me to arrive home at 9am to then workout, then shower, then have breakfast- thus essentially loosing my morning, it has also provided a necessary slower start to these cooler, darker (wetter) Autumnal mornings- an enforced pace change to allow a more restful beginning. The simple ritual of boiling the tea kettle, selecting the tea or coffee for that particular day, and sitting down to savor my hot drink with the cats and the quiet of the early morning has been a treat, as opposed to slugs of coffee standing in the kitchen whilst juggling all the myriad of morning tasks on a normal weekday.

I have developed a rather sore case of tennis elbow in the last couple of weeks, which while very frustrating- not to mention painful- is actually requiring me to only do so much- having to spread my tasks out or prioritize them as I literally cant do it all. For example, I spent a not unpleasant hour ironing whilst listening to a podcast, but after the final garment was hung up I know I’d reached my limit- I wasn’t capable of doing any more manual tasks that day- or certainly for a few hours, so I stopped. I made a cool drink of iced sparkling water with fresh lemon and sat down to read. Ordinarily, I would have found the next to do, and ploughed on ahead. This has made me pace myself in a way that is new to me, but necessary. And I’m really rather enjoying the change.

Its also made me re asses going forward fully into a new term and new season, my schedule, time blocking, prioritizing and being realistic with to dos, goals, and how many hours there are in a day!

I am someone who thrives on routine and enjoys planning. With the exception of lazy summer days to float through, or cozy wintry Sundays to potter at home, I am happiest with a clear goal, plan and list- however short or succinct it may be. So I am looking forward to taking a quiet moment or two over this weekend before the new school term roars off with soccer training at 7am on Monday to plan, get out my diary, and schedule in time for writing, for outdoor activities, for chores, for family and for me. I am excited to have days or times earmarked with no distractions to pursue my writing and start the editing process. To realize a dream.

A wise, dear and trusted friend said to me last week:

“ You can be the sweetest, juiciest peach on the tree and you’re still going to come across people who don’t like peaches”

Its so true; So I’ll keep to my happy bubble, disregard non peach lovers, keep perusing dreams and loving life fiercely.

And to celebrate - we are off for dinner and a movie as family this evening, so I better get my skates on.

Happy weekend.

Procrastination, and the confidence to take the first step

Fri, 19 Apr 2024 04:13:00 GMT

I have come to realize, its me. I am the blockage. I am holding things up. I am making excuses- in short, I am my own worst enemy.

While taking a walk earlier this week (school holidays- bliss) I was listening to an all-time favorite podcast- Thank you Shannon Ables, about becoming your own best friend.

Listening to this hot on the heels of finishing the book ‘The courage to be disliked’, a few welcome and not so welcome home truths made themselves apparent to me: (excuses in Italics….)

* I need to schedule time each week- preferably 5-6 days per week to concentrate on my writing (But haven’t made this a genuine priority in my already full and bustling family life as a wife, mum of two and school office lady)

* I need my husband to step in and help with the editing process and the self publishing technicalities (But I’m slightly self conscious of him reading my work - even though I know he fully supports me, and I know its not a quick process and he has a lot on his plate)

* A Genuine lack of confidence in myself. (I’m anxious about being judged, putting myself in a vulnerable position, people I know discovering its me and loosing my anonymity)

*I truly savor and treasure the little pleasures in my everydays- as per this blogs overall intention, I get a thrill from the scent of pine trees, a beautiful sky, a daily ritual I enjoy, a freshly cleaned home, completing a to do list, a well presented home cooked meal, a considered outfit, fresh linen. (Is it enough? I admire and am truly inspired by like minded women who have become authors, who are on the same journey, who derive pleasure from many of the same things- who notice all the things that also bring me joy, but they’ve already done it. They are successful, published, self-sufficient, confident and experienced. Is there room for another one. Will people still enjoy what I can bring, my observations and ponderings?

* I feel strongly, so strongly, that this is my purpose- this is what I have to give, my contribution, so why do I feel so self conscious, where is my positivity and a sprinkling of bravado?

Every single day something, somehow speaks to me, nudges me along- a paragraph, a quote, an interview, a passage from the current literature I’m reading- the Universe persuading me that next year is too far, tomorrow may not wait, and the present is now. BEGIN.

I am keenly aware of the present and try to always be mindful, take a step back and savor, and practice gratitude. Noticing the littlest of pleasures- when you start practicing genuine gratitude, days become instantly brighter. SO true. I try not to rush, or wish time away or too often this - things will be easier when***, Or once I’ve done *** I can concentrate on my writing… As with rapidly growing daughters there’s no avoiding how quickly the years pass. In the same sentiment then, what am I waiting for?

I have drafts of at least 2 books that are waiting to start the process of publishing. I very much doubt they’ll be perfect, but they’ll be mine. I think about it every day, all the time- from the publishing side, to the potential readers, to the illustrations, cover, binding, first order- the whole terrifyingly magic process! it will be my first boot quaking experience of putting myself out there and being utterly open- but also, my first deeper experience of reaching further, inspiring more people to pause, to savor, to notice, and to celebrate everydays.

Its time to put my big girl pants on.

(No Buy Year Update: oooooh I’m struggling. So many incredible sales - mostly popping into my in box rather than me seeking them out- and I’m finding it SOOOO hard to refrain. Especially with the biggest change in seasons here from summer to winter with only a tiny fall in the upper north Island- boom and its winter! I’m working out how the wool coat at 70% off could become a mothers day gift - therefor I haven’t strictly purchased it……. I really really want that coat! Its a high quality, timeless classic, well constructed and in a perfect neutral camel…… eeek!)

I Caved. No Buy Year update

Thu, 11 Apr 2024 22:54:00 GMT

I have a confession. And I am riddled with guilt over it! I purchased a pair of shoes on line - heavily discounted- and I justified them to myself as they were athletic/ trainers/ sneakers. Who am I kidding? These are not shoes designed to run in. They are fashion sneakers. (and lovely) I will not be wearing these on the treadmill or woodlands walks- BUT , I am hoping they will cushion and save my feet on commutes to work as last winder I found doing that kind of daily milage in flat souled ballet flats, or unforgiving boots- no matter how comfy they were to actually were or how quality the manufacture and materials, I regularly went to bed at night with achy feet ‘singing’ from the lack of support throughout an average day for me- on a work day I clock up a good 15-20,000 steps NOT including a scheduled morning treadmill run or afternoon walk in proper trainers. (By then I’m usually clocking nearer 30,000)

So there you have it. I got to April and I cheated. I’m sorry. But its not over after one stumble. And I still firmly believe the process so far has absolutely made me hyper aware of the mindless and unintentional consumerism I was frequently indulging in. So onwards!

After last weeks post I did do a huge wardrobe over hall. I still didn’t quite pare it down to the minimal quantities I had idealized, but its looking very clean, chic and considered. (with one new pair of shoes…. as mentioned)

I am thinking of renting a stall at an upcoming second hand clothing market so I can pass on the clothing which has plenty of life and good wear in it and also recuperate some of my original outlay. Normally I donate EVERYTHING, as I like the feeling of passing it on an my belief that I’ve already sunk that money so its nice to benefit the charity and the new owner- but this is a huge amount and some pretty high end pieces- plus our local charity shops have too much already and are not accepting donations at this time.

On another note, I have been battling a head cold or virus all this past week, I’m thankful it hasn’t really affected my sleep in a negative way but I have eaten rather a lot more easter egg chocolate than was ideal and been unable to exercise as much as planned.

Yesterday though, despite howling winds I managed a long walk to let the wind clear the passages and to soak up the autumnal atmosphere- jewel colors really starting to show and rustling leaves along my path.

SO I’m keeping this entry brief, as today is a rest day. I have some light house work to tend to, and a little life admin, then a date with the sofa, my book, a pot of my favorite tea, and hopefully a purring snuggly kitty or two.

This squally weather it set to clear here tomorrow so a day or two of gardening and some walks are in order.

Have a wonderful weekend

No Buy Year, seasonal change and mind set change

Thu, 04 Apr 2024 22:38:00 GMT

Doesn’t that look dreamy!? Sadly its not my home, but it encapsulates the vibe I want to try and recreate and have the pleasure of stepping into each morning.

Interestingly, while I have been known to occasionally browse on line- often through a rabbit hole of some kind that lead me there, my No Buy Year is leading me to aspire to be more minimalist and intentional, and even edit further- dramatically in fact- what garments and accessories and shoes I do already have.

I think possibly the change in season is driving this new found urge to purge, but its interesting its taking me there for Autumn and winter- a summer purge and minimalist attitude seems more logical with less layers and longer, lazier days.

I am yearning for a few hours in my closet today to really hone my signature style and refine the outfits I have with what I currently own to work with.

Not my closet either, but we have exactly the same shelving and hanging space in our Walkin that was here when we bought the home. Functional, and good for airflow to keep things fresh….but not terribly appealing or stylish….

A couple of stylists have popped up on my Instagram feed lately which make a capsule wardrobe seem so effortless - I’m In! I even did one of the on line quizzes and the “style” it recommended as my core pieces with interchangeable items to dress it up or down, were so similar to what I already own in my closet it was a nice little boost to know I’m on the right track- just a little more paring down and focus is required now, so that its even simpler for me in the future.

Doesn’t it make you feel like you can breathe deeper and hold your shoulders back a little when you get a little glow from an outfit, knowing you feel amazing in it- on every level, imagine harnessing that feeling with your entire wardrobe so you can feel like that every day and in every situation! I have my work cut out for me! And while I certainly maintain- and have for years, an intentional, considered, at times 10/15 item wardrobe, I struggle with keeping it looking quite that minimal in the closet. By the time I have an area for gym/running, golf, beach, garden/ dirty jobs, formal wear, evening wear, nightwear, work and weekend - I feel cluttered before I’ve even begun but these are areas of my life that are pretty much daily or weekly, with the exception maybe of formal wear. In a typical day I will wear gym gear to run, smart/ semi formal for work, or smart casual for a day I’m not in the office, change again for an afternoon walk/golf/ballet, then nightwear, robes and sippers for last thing in the evening. Those outfit changes dont even cover a beach day or an evening out! (And yes, that’s a fair amount of laundry too!)

Its interesting noting my own reluctance to fully purge in a dramatic way - possibly as I know I cannot pop out to buy something to fill a gap that may form- unless it fits one of the criteria I have set myself:

Is damaged Beyond repair

For a special event such as a wedding ( The second hand/ pre loved is my source)

And to be able to replace running shoes as they ware out. (I have actually already had to do this as I was running in a pair my daughter passed on to me that were not designed for running per se so my feet and knees were beginning to suffer the consequences. So I did invest in 2 Pairs of HOKA running shoes- one for the treadmill, one for walks and runs outdoors. I am also looking into a further purchase of some ON Cloudstratus running shoes as I have just signed up for a 1/2 marathon later in the year.)

So, my plan today is to combine a sort thought of the obvious things to move on- those that are damaged, worn out, ill-fitting, unflattering etc, then try to create a capsule with interchangeable accessories that can all work together and create several versions of one core outfit. I have always been of the mind set to use and love and enjoy what you have- no to “save” it or tuck it away. Its not bringing anyone joy there. But I’m not necessarily going to run straight to donate the items wither- I’m going to remove anything I’m not 100% happy with and store else where, then I’m going to trial an even more honed down capsule wardrobe, with the intention of re editing in another 4-6 weeks as the seasons continue to change. In the past I’ve very much done 2 big wardrove switches per year, SPRING SUMMER/AUTUMN WINTER, but its just not conducive yet to make such a radical shift to sweaters- granted some evenings have been down to 9 degrees, but most have sat around 14-16 degrees and the days are climbing to a warm 23 still. So I have removed high summer items this week- shorts, beachwear- But its still rather too soon to bring out the chunky knits and sweater dresses.

Our clocks change for fall this weekend so today is the perfect time to embark on it.

Podcast to listen to- check

Coffee -check

House to myself- check

even the weather is perfect- breezy and overcast.

wish me luck!

The simplest pleasures Easter

Sat, 30 Mar 2024 23:14:00 GMT

After my initial disappointment when I discovered that our eldest had a shift at work on Easter day, I decided to embrace the opportunity of having our Easter celebration a day early to accommodate and so as not to entirely miss out. Easter in one of my favorite times of the year, and events on the calendar. Even as a child when Easter was in spring, and over flowing daffodils and the promise of summer warmth around the corner- we celebrated it often with family or my Godparents, or sometimes in France. Its a celebration of the change of seasons, of fresh starts and new promise. A day of family, a hearty meal and plenty of chocolate treats- hot cross buns, simnel cake, roast lamb and pretty decorations. For us its also an extremely significant and important date for our faith and beliefs. But no matter what your spiritual leanings are, or your geographical position in the world- Easter signifies fresh new beginnings, hope and a sense of peace.

I adore decorating the house for Easter- when the girls were little they used to decorate and egg each year which we’d collect from our chickens and blow, then carefully paint. A few of these gems are still around today but despite careful handling and packing away each year most have succumbed.

SO this year, we had a couple of guests and celebrated on Easter Saturday. It was a crisp clear perfect autumn morning. The day rolled by in a happy blur of egg hunts (Never too old… or too tall- my friends delightful son who joined us id 6’4”!) silly board games, a leg of lamb, easter gifts and baskets exchanged, a beach walk, pavlova, berries, tea and easter cake. All of which was easy, joyous and relaxed- not to mention delicious.

But do you know, on these occasions as the hostess, much like on Christmas day, when all eventually goes quiet, the food has been served, enjoyed and savored, the dishes washed, dried and carefully put away, the tables wiped, the wrappings tidied- no evening meal to prepare as such as everyone happily full and satiated from a long leisurely late lunch, I ADORE the feeling of taking a hot shower or bath, and snuggling up on the sofa in my robe with a cup of something comforting and my book. Knowing all went smoothy and happily, and as much as I thoroughly enjoy the planning, preparation, hosting and even the tidying away, the peace and satisfaction that descends on these early evenings after a celebration day to me is just about perfect.

SO this morning, as I woke before the sun and wished my beloved a Happy Easter, it was rather a treat to think that the entertaining and celebration day was all done. Just a day ahead to spend as we wished- as it turns out a stunning early beach walk with a friend and her gorgeous dogs, and a bike ride for my hubby before we embark on a huge day of tiding the garden, beating the weeds into submission, and preparing the grounds for the inevitable cooler wintry weather. 8 Degrees this morning but oh what a sky and bright wonderful sun, drying my white linens on the line, and all the Eastery napkins and tea towels. SO on that note, I will pop my trusty HUNTER wellies on, and get cracking!

Happy Easter!

And yes- I did pick my beautiful Dhalia bloom to enjoy on our easter table. Along with some frothy cosmos- I brought the garden inside. X

Life's little luxuries

Wed, 20 Mar 2024 22:40:00 GMT

I’d like to talk about luxury. Or, more specifically, Luxuries. And for the purpose of this post, luxuries as I choose to see and savor them and not necessarily luxury with a price tag.

LUXURY: A state of great comfort or elegance; Oxford English Dictionary

One thing I like to luxuriate in every evening is the feeling of smoothing in my rich night cream into my freshly washed face when I get ready for bed. Admittedly, I purchased the creams initially, but rather like a cost per wear idea- once I’ve made that investment, I can luxuriate in the sensation of the silky smooth cream, the delicate scent and the results of my healthy nourished skin for several months after my purchase.

Another little ritual I like to luxuriate in almost every day without fail, is taking a moment - sometimes a few moments, to step outside and drink in the morning air, the freshness and the promise of a brand new day- I enjoy it equally weather its a crisp chilly autumnal morning like today, a balmy dusky start to a sizzling summer day, or if its hammering down with rain.

Adding the finishing touches to a thoughtfully and loving prepared meal- even something as simple as steel cut oats or a salmon salad, can elevate it and create a little flutter of luxury. Enough to make us pause and appreciate these little gem moments.

We can find pleasure, contentment and decadent luxury in so many areas if we choose to find it. In fact, if you choose to savor and enjoy some of these more “basic” everyday luxuries that some may see as ordinary- the lines happily blur between a luxury and a simple pleasure- they have the same effect on our mind, our well being and our endorphins. Its quite extraordinary if you gently let it happen….

I thought I’d keep this to a list of things I find to be nourishing and elevating; little daily or regular luxuries I enjoy and get so much pleasure from, but it might be fun for you to write your own list- think outside the box- literally! These luxuries certainly don’t need to come from a package.

Arranging fresh flowers in a vase to enjoy at home- from the garden or florist.
Sinking into a hot bath.
Using beautifully scented soaps and shower gels or bubble baths
Freshly washed and styled hair.
Snugging into crisp fresh bed linens. (You’ll find this is a recurring theme of mine as one of my absolute favorite things!)
Picking any thing you’ve grown- a rose, a strawberry, microgreens, or a huge pumpkin.
Closing the cover on a book that’s enraptured you and had the perfect ending.
A long cold glass of water.
Spritzing on your favorite perfume.
Having a manicure or pedicure- at home or in a salon.
taking line dried towels off the line and then wrapping yourself up in their fresh air scent after a shower.
Coming upstairs at night to a beautifully made, inviting bed.
A crisp autumn morning with a feint whiff of woodsmoke in the air.
The deep rumbling purr of a beloved cat.
Opening the fridge to see it clean, tidy and ordered and an abundance of fresh enticing produce.
Slipping your feet into soft warm sheepskin slippers after a long day.
Treating yourself to a seasonal facial.
liberally applying your favorite hand cream right before bed.
The sensation of a soft cashmere sweater or silk scarf against your skin.
A beautifully laid table.
Buring a gorgeous scented candle.
A decadent desert that need not be complicated or calorie laden- a kiwi fruit cut up and dipped into 2 squares of melted very dark chocolate is one of my favorites.
A zero inbox.
Climbing into a clean well maintained car.
Re organizing your wardrobe for the season
Beautifully fitted and pretty undergarments
A lengthy morning walk.
Ticking off a to do list earlier than anticipated.
Enjoying coffee by yourself in a cafe and just observing and people watching.
Waking up refreshed on a weekend morning with the day stretched out ahead of you to do with as you please.

I could truly keep going, the more I think of the more that pops into my head. What a wonderful situation to be in.

Just writing this has inspired me to go and sort out my bathroom drawers and re organize them as I know I will gain much satisfaction from doing so and savor the feeling of luxury when I get ready for bed later to see it all prettily arranged and ordered - displaying my luxuries ready to be used and enjoyed.

Seasonal changes in climate and mindset

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 23:34:00 GMT

Seasonal Autumnal Changes and Organisation - Embracing the Transition and Finding Balance

As the leaves begin to turn and the air becomes crisp, it’s evident that autumn has arrived, bringing with it a sense of change and renewal. The days are still rather warm here but evenings and early mornings are cool and the days are noticeably shorter. This season is a time for reflection, reorganization, and embracing the beauty of transformation. Just as nature adapts to the shifting weather patterns, we too can find inspiration in the seasonal changes and use this time to reassess our priorities and create a sense of order in our lives.

One of the simple joys of autumn is witnessing the vibrant colors that paint the landscape. Taking a leisurely walk through the park or a nearby forest, we can marvel at the golden hues of the leaves and the way the sunlight filters through the branches. These moments of natural beauty provide a much-needed respite from the busyness of daily life and remind us to pause and appreciate the world around us.

As the days grow shorter and the evenings become cooler, it’s the perfect opportunity to turn our attention inward and focus on creating a cozy and organized home. Just as we change our wardrobes to accommodate the chillier temperatures, we can also refresh our living spaces to reflect the season. Swapping out lightweight fabrics for plush throws and introducing warm, earthy tones through decor can instantly make a room feel more inviting and comfortable.

Autumn is also an ideal time to tackle those organizational projects we may have been putting off. Whether it’s decluttering our closets, reorganizing our pantries, or creating a more efficient workspace, taking steps to simplify our surroundings can have a profound impact on our mental well-being. By letting go of what no longer serves us and creating systems that streamline our daily routines, we can reduce stress and find a greater sense of calm and control.

Of course, as we focus on our physical spaces, it’s equally important to nurture our inner selves. The changing of the seasons can be a time of transition and uncertainty, and it’s crucial to prioritize self-care and find ways to ground ourselves. Whether it’s through meditation, journaling, or simply taking a few moments each day to breathe deeply and center our thoughts, small acts of mindfulness can help us navigate the challenges that come our way.

As we embrace the seasonal changes and the opportunities they bring, it’s essential to remember that balance is key. Just as the autumn leaves demonstrate the beauty of letting go, we too can learn to release what no longer serves us while holding on to what truly matters. By finding harmony between our internal and external worlds, we can cultivate a sense of peace and purpose that carries us through the season and beyond.

A beautiful sliver of a moon last night as I waited for my daughter to finish her ballet class.

So, as the autumn winds blow and the world around us transforms, let us take inspiration from the natural rhythms and use this time to create positive changes in our own lives. Whether it’s through savoring the simple pleasures of a warm cup of tea, tackling a long-awaited organizational project, or simply taking a moment to breathe and be present, may we find joy and renewal in the beauty of the season.

No Buy Year Update:

Had to run to the mall to exchange some Kitchen tongs - of all things- I was SOOO temped and resisted even browsing - new season cosy fall items all displayed beautifully in the shops, homeware and clothing, and all the past seasons stock on huge reductions! Ahhhhhh! I made it home unscathed ……. Phew. Initially I felt somewhat bereft but now I’m home as the rain gently falls and the cats haven’t moved, I’m so thankful I wasn’t tempted and there no guilt.

Silver linings and a positive mindset: retaining momentum in adverse circumstances – and allowing rest

Sat, 09 Mar 2024 03:33:00 GMT

2 little lines on a plastic indicator- only one that morning. The morning I in fact posted on my Instagram page an outfit of the day- even going so far as to say I was feeling pulled together and great even! That same afternoon, having felt increasingly peaky through my day at work- whammo. Positive covid test.

We thought we’d managed to avoid catching it from our girls post Sydney, as they both came home with the virus. They’d returned to school and we were okay ish. Nope. Darn. And I’d been so consciously feeding my body the nutrient dense flu fighting and antioxidant rich foods I knew would help, I’d been taking a potent Ginger, Turmeric, black pepper and lime tonic, hydrating, exercising, resting. Infact, I was feeling more on top of my game than I have for several months- fitter, healthier and a couple of pounds lighter. So, initially I was frustrated, but that afternoon felt well enough to head straight out for a walk having got my workload covered for the remainder of the week, dreaming up all the productive, useful things I could accomplish during my 5 days isolating.

That night was the worst night I can remember in YEARS. My skin burned and prickled, my joints ached, my head pounded, throat was sore and dry and my body temperature was considerably elevated.

The following morning finally dawned in a tangled mess of too hot linens and I was in absolutely no state to begin even the gentlest, simplest of tasks I’d wanted to get on to.

I had no choice but to reevaluate and re asses what I was capable of, where I stood in terms of my best and quickest chance of recovery, and how not to let this unfortunate setback (Still very mild by some peoples standards) throw me off course and spoil any recent progress I’d been making.

Bottom line was, my body was telling me to rest. SO, for the first time probably since student days, I watched a movie mid Morning, read my book and other than some light laundry and food preparation, that was it. The following few days were much the same- no more movies but reading in the garden, gentle walks along the beach, no housework to speak of and only light cooking and laundry duties. My husband and I came down with our symptoms at exactly the same time so while we were both feeling rather miserable, it was comforting to have company and go through it together.

Yesterday, not wanting to leave it too long and perhaps being a little impatient, I tried a gentle workout in the gym at home- after 8 minutes I was sitting on the floor with my head between my knees dizzy and nauseous. My body was giving me a very firm message.

So, I’m listening. I’ve tried to keep my diet to a very healthy, nutrient dense one - allowing some comforting treats to be enjoyed and savored as part of the recovery package. I’ve tried to get plenty of sleep- or at least rest at night- coughing etc considered. I have gently moved my body each day but nothing which elevates my heart rate too much or requires unreasonable time or effort. Enough to keep the blood pumping and my mind happy while allowing gentle recovery. Short, flat walks, fresh air, gentle stretching, and lots of hydration.

I haven’t thrown in the towel on my regime, I’ve adapted temporarily. This enforced rest has allowed me unexpected time with my husband, time to read more, rest more, just pause more- sit and watch the birds, feel the breeze. I feel confident that as I haven’t asked too much of my body- through impatience and frustration, I will hopefully make a full recovery faster, and therefore get back to the things I enjoy and fuel and energize me quicker.

I’m grateful that while these things are never ideal, the timing could have been far more disruptive, and our symptoms far more sever. I am also grateful for the team of lovely people I work with who just stepped up, took care of things, and checked in to see how I was doing regularly.

I feel I am starting to turn a corner today, but I’m mindful not to rush. Small tasks are quite taxing so a full working week with extra curricular activities, events, engagements and exercise will be a whole new level. Racing to work for Monday when one more day may be just enough to get me over that last bump is something I’m not ruling out yet.

For now, I’m thankful for the thinking space its provided, the enforced down time, and my strong healthy body fighting it off so efficiently. Its actually been quite refreshing to have a couple of entirely make up free days and to wear exactly what felt comfortable and comforting. I love my clothes and enjoy what I have in my current wardrobe, but I rarely wear active wear/ lounge wear unless I’m being active or after a bath in the evenings. Sometimes that’s okay too ;-)

We ventured to a dramatic local Westcoast beach this morning, while it was lovely to feel the cobwebs blown away, our ears rung with the blustery winds and a short walk was enough. Lovely to still appreciate the beauty and feel the warm autumnal sunshine tho.

A warming turmeric and ginger latte and the end of a novel I’m enjoying snuggled up is in order now, then a simple, healthful dinner of roast pumpkin, rocket and haloumi.

Healthy eating, healthy lifestyle and healthy mindset

Sun, 03 Mar 2024 01:01:00 GMT

Kangaroo filet, truffle mash and JD Jus

Caveat- its ok to have wobbles in all of these areas- its noticing them and then resetting that’s important. All of which helps us grow and strengthen.

If we think of ourselves as susceptible to the algorithms of our lives, it allows us to step back a little and observe the comings and going around us.

Following on from my last post reflecting on a Sydneysider lifestyle, I wanted to explore how our immediate environment and what we choose to let in can effect our mindset, our choices and ultimately our wellbeing.

I was very aware in Sydney- particularly in the area we were staying on the Northern Beaches, that healthy living was pretty standard, and this was hugely represented by the amount of people exercising from before dawn to long after dusk: running, swimming, surfing, sailing, walking- with or without a pooch (most of which were as beautiful as their owners too!) yoga, cardio, HIIT, strength training, volleyball, - you name it, someone was engaging in it. Also, the shops in general, were geared t healthy living. Clothing shops sold the idea of vibrant youth at any age- swimwear, beach apparel and active wear were the dominant categories. The supermarkets carried a vast - and mindboggling inexpensive by Comparision to where we live- selection of fruits and vegetables, supplements, and fresh produce and meats and cheeses. With health and wellbeing just being a simple fact of life, it was easy to fill your shopping basket with a nutrient dense, healthy and diverse selection from a globally influenced market- lots of Greeks and Italians emigrated there so a myriad of fantastic cheeses, meats, deli items and various nuts and snacks far from the norm at home.

Even the takeouts were of a higher quality- and multiple juice bars that aren’t your standard sugary bombs of concentrated fruit juice base but actually focusing on nutrition and combinations to kick start, revive, help with immunity- or help recovery from a tough workout or a hangover….thankfully not me! My favorite was Ginger, kale, lime and green apple- and a large one was only $7.50.

Its not to say people don’t indulge at all, but the balance is heavily weighted towards healthy options. Those eateries and treat type establishments are of an elevated quality, so you don’t need as much. For example I thoroughly enjoyed and incredibly decadent ice-cream one evening after our dinner of woodfired gluten free pizza with rocket and prosciutto. The ice cream parlor was an experience in itself with beautiful presentation and out of this world flavors. I had a single scoop of a hazelnut dark chocolate in a waffle cone and I could not have possibly eaten any more. It was rich, satiating and intense. \

We also indulged in an extravagant beach side breakfast- while watching dolphins frolic in the waves amongst the surfers- which fueled me until dinner! As is often the way when visiting a city we did many, many steps - but for me it was probably only what I’d normally do- with a gentle run each morning, then full days, even with these treats I actually lost weight I discovered on our return home. I truly believe that the power of the mind is huge and I think a large part of those few pounds being shed was my mindset of being inspired by all the vibrancy and fitness surrounding me. No snacking, no mindless eating, no seconds, and lots of activity and vitamin D. It goes to show that while you can have a pause or a moment apart from your regular healthy habits, as long as they are kept in perspective and moderation, they ADD to our overall wellbeing. Treat them as the treats they are- a little sparkle, but only as much as the vitamin packed juice- equally nourishing- sometimes. And as far as healthy mindset; if we consciously surround our selves with positivity, healthy choices and inspiring people and places- half the work is done for us, we just have to nudge ourselves back on track each time.

Sydney, Aussie lifestyle, and no shopping in a retail mecca

Sat, 02 Mar 2024 09:06:00 GMT

This image above, encapsulates everything that was so refreshingly wonderful about our few days in Sydney.

We just returned from almost a week staying on the northern beaches of Sydney, Australia. Our reason for going was to chaperone (Hardly!) our eldest daughter who had managed to purchase tickets to a huge concert. This was booked long before I made the promise to myself of a No Buy Year and was probably one of the most dauting so far as I knew the city was jam packed with designer stores, one off boutiques, second hand fancies and large glossy Malls. So todays post is in two parts of sorts: The no buy component and the Sydney lifestyle component.

I toyed with the idea of giving myself permission, while off shore, to purchase clothing or shoes if something utterly irresistible were to come into my path- but deep down I knew this was cheating. But I held onto the notion to quell the rising panic of being banished entirely! I am happy to report that having done lots of browsing and Window shopping I did not purchase any clothing or shoes.( I did however, have a slight exception- I purchased from a second hand clothing store a pair of leggings and matching sports top, brand new with tags, for under $40 as I needed some to replace a worn out set- this is permitted in my *rules.)*The only other purchases I made were not clothing- A very versatile cross body leather bag from a big department store MYERS, in a soft grey, heavily discounted, and a luxurious body milk from a Perfumerie which stocks the worlds oldest line of fragrance- Santa Maria Novella. A true luxury and steeped in History since its conception in 1221! Just using it envelops me in a special sensation of history, time and tradition, while the scent remains fresh and modern and delicate. Even being in the boutique in an old fashioned - Victorian- 3 story arcade, complete with tiled floors and wrought iron balustrades was a treat and an elevated experience.

While I have to admit I was very conscious of the urge and pull to shop, I am proud of how restraint I was - and have no regrets, only a really appreciation for the little gems I did allow myself to indulge in.

Sydney, and Specifically Manly, where we stayed, offered an entirely new perspective on a way of life- a vibrant and vital and relaxed and beach vibe I have never encountered before. It got me. So much so I was daydreaming about re locating and searching for homes for sale on line as I basked in the Australian sunshine!

It was eye-opening and very inspiring to observe a different pace and verve of daily life. We were fortunate enough that our apartment overlooked the ocean and we only had to walk out of the front door a step across the road to be on the beach. While I treasure my sanctuary of a peaceful private home here- Manly is always on the go, from just before dawn the runners, dog walkers, swimmers and surfers emerge- steadily making the most of their environment until well after sun down. But it was a happy, healthy SAFE vibe. There were no big groups with antisocial music, no boy racers, no rowdy groups, no one leering at the runners in their skimpy athletic wear- inface it was absolutely de regueur to wear running shorts and a running bralette- to the extent one lunchtime in Bondi our family devised a game with a points system based on the colour combinations of their gear- everyone was active. Regardless of age, shape, gender or ability. It was humbling and inspiring all at once, and each day I couldn’t wait to join them. There was no judgment, just a completely accepted way of living- a natural part of living- along side work, family and life. A hive of activity and wellbeing. On my first morning I ran along the beach front to see a large gathering of people as the bay rounded the corner- I thought it must be a queue for coffee, as it would likely be here, but it was the Manly Beach Lifesaving Club- next door to which is situated the Manly Beach running club- the gathering was people. people beginning or finishing their morning training, dog walks, runs, surfs, swims, kayaks, even multiple fitness classes being held outside with trainers- from dumbbells to yoga instructors, individuals, friends, couples and even families. School children getting in a training session before school or meeting friends for a morning surf. I ran past another gathering one morning just as I rounded the corner to Shelly Beach- teenage girls, all wrapped in towels from the waist down, hair dropping from the sea- and a long platter between them of fresh fruit and croissants- these were teenage girls celebrating a birthday together with a swim and fresh fruit- before 7am! While still marveling at this lovely sight I then witnessed a group of women my mothers age chattering away as they got into the beach side salt water swimming pool for their morning swim meet. These ladies were fit, bronzed, vibrant and 70+!

By the time I made my way back towards our accommodation the multiple volleyball nets along the central part of the beach were thronging with players, more school uniformed students and business attired adults were walking or biking along toward the wharf to catch a ferry to the office or school. And all this by 7.30am- les than an hour after dawn broke.

I have returned inspired and energized with this vibrant simple carefree way of living- effortless. Cultural diversity, age, gender, ability are noted and accepted but virtually irrelevant- just get out there. seize the day. enjoy life, savor the variety along with the simplicity.

The image at the top of this post was my husband coming in from an early morning surf with a friend of his who met him at 6.15am to catch a few waves before he headed in to work. The light, the warmth and the energy is something I want to hang on to.

I’ll leave you with a shot I took about an hour ago when we popped down to the beach for a walk after dinner. Cooler, autumnal even, but ours. ours to linger, savor and enjoy- to breathe in and appreciate and just BE.

Gratefully receiving windfalls and little lessons in appreciation

Mon, 19 Feb 2024 08:36:00 GMT

Isn’t it funny how things work out sometimes when you least expect it? Even with my concession of purchasing one item for a wedding in my no buy year, and my careful planning, by pure chance, 2 days before we headed up north to Russell - the picturesque township in the Bay of Islands- a lovely friend delivered to my desk a dress she mentioned wasn’t a good fit on her and she thought I might like to try it.

It was soooo much hotter and the climate so dry up there what I’d planned to wear just wasn’t going to be suitable or comfortable. SO guess what I ended up wearing!? I paired it with an inexpensive belt I already owned to cinch in the waist, a clutch I’d purchased on Holiday in Fiji last year, and a pair of pre loved Spanish leather sandals- do you know what, I felt like a million dollars. It was perfect for the event and the weather, and was very much appropriate among what the other guests were wearing.

Interestingly, my girls, who looked so grown up and beautiful- and clearly felt lovely in their outfits, were both in “hand me down’ dresses too.

During this week I have also had a little fun on Instagram by documenting a week of outfits. Its been a really enjoyable learning experience for me in re appreciating some of my clothes I maybe took for granted- and actually how long I’ve had some of the items- years and years in some cases, yet still look good, fresh, and timeless. They are classics which are quality garments. Some I even purchased way back then second hand even!

The whole weekend fell into place so perfectly - with dreamy accommodation, picture perfect scenery, and idyllic weather- not to mention a stunning romantic wedding and time with my precious family. It just goes to show its not about what you spend, its about how you pull an outfit together, investing what you can when you can in quality timeless well-made classics, and most importantly, how you wear them- with confidence and an air of je ne sais quoi.

Sydney next week- this will be a real test of my no buy year….eeek!!

I’ll leave you this week with a few photos from the beautiful Russell.

No Buy Year February update

Sat, 10 Feb 2024 00:23:00 GMT

Just a brief entry today as it’s only been a couple of days since my last post. One thread that follows on from my previous blog post is the sentiment of the universe whispering to you- granted this whisper was most likely derived from an algo rhythm - however I was rather tickled to have pop up on my Instagram an “influencer’ whom I’d never come across, also embarking on a no buy year! One thing she mentioned was Steph Swalls ( @steph_swalls ) whose style channel is about intentional shopping and minimalist fashion. I am by no means a minimalist, but I am intentional and enjoy curating looks, feels and a capsule wardrobe. Not only was it a real buzz to feel I had stumbled upon a fellow comrade, but she suggests putting together a minimal capsule wardrobe each month from the clothes you already own; that way you wont get tired of them before it’s time to change them up. I think this is a Brilliant idea, it takes a little effort, but it runs true to the concept of shopping you own closet, eliminates clothing fatigue and keeps it vibrant and exciting- challenging even. Love it! Her outfits and style appear at first glance to be rather more casual than my everyday attire- But I can absolutely draw inspiration from her energy and design flare. Yay!

This week marked a momentous occasion of being allowed to purchase a new to me item- as part of the deal I struck with myself , I was able to purchase second hand a dress for a wedding we are attending in a few days time. I went to one of the HUGE second hand warehouse style shops, it was hot, icky and busy, and you have to be prepared to invest time, if not $ Dollars, to trawl through and try on. BUT, 90 minutes later and several almost designer dress purchases ( Trelise Coopers for under $50 and a Diane Von Furstenburg for $60!! Sadly none were very me or fit quite right- so I knew it would be a rash purchase as I knew their worth and quality, rather than filling the gap I was seeking to fill for the wedding) I did however, find a dress that is suitable for a summery wedding, on the casual side of formal but still tailored and a little unusual, from the Swedish brand COS. Its both a style and colour I wouldn’t normally have even considered, but from the racks and racks of dresses it spoke to me, fitted surprisingly well, and importantly made me feel good when I put it on. Its definitely a nod to the 80’s with its asymmetric off the shoulder design, and its - dare I say it PEACH colour…. lets go with Coral! However, at that price, and something I feel confident in, with a sprinkle of carefree fun- why the heck not!? I happily ferried it home, removed the tags- yes it had never been worn- laundered it immediately and hung it on the line to dry, I gently pressed it that afternoon as I was ironing school shorts anyway and Ta daaa! Wedding outfit!

Completed with nude wedges, a sun hat and a nude wicker clutch I purchased in Fiji, I will feel a million dollars for $39. It was very gratifying to be patient, then intentionally shop with a clear goal and limit, and also knowing that now, with the exception of replacing any clothing or footwear item that is beyond repair throughout the year, that’s me done. Its liberating!

I am mindful of not allowing myself to look or browse either in shops or on line as it serves no purpose now, and I am falling in love again with items I already own, and new outfit combinations. I have re arrived at the point where plain classic colors and styles are the way forward- allowing me to mix and match and feel au courant.

Its a muggy wet Saturday here and my youngest - whose growing like a bean and now has several inches on me- is having a good old wardrobe sort out- I have happily accepted a few of her hand me downs, Shopping mydaughterswardrobe- who knew!?

A knock on effect of all this is also a renewed energy and mindfulness to keep myself in shape, and healthy, so that the clothes I do own look their best on me and I feel confident and comfortable in them. Double bonus.

Until next time, x

When the universe whispers

Wed, 07 Feb 2024 20:56:00 GMT

(Day 39 of my no buy year- 1 month ticked off)

Have you ever found yourself in a moment so incredibly perfect you hardly dare breathe and your heart flutters with a kind of urgency to absorb every element in order to treasure the memory forever?

For most of us, these moments don’t happen very frequently- we may have regular glimpses peppered through our weeks, and moments to savor with family, loved ones, nature, our faith and spirituality, that we notice and appreciate and are grateful for- the ethos of this blog entirely; to savor and honor and treasure the little moments that make up our lives.

This past weekend I had one such experience that was so idyllic and so incredibly special it will stay with me forever. All the elements we aligned as my husband and I - on the spur of the moment- decided to leave the girls sleeping in our beachside accommodation and take the Jetski over to a nearby Island, just for a short time, with a book and towel each and little else.

It was a bluebird day, still early enough the sun had no real bite, a gentle breeze, and the tide almost at its fullest.

It was mind-blowing to me as we motored gently into the bay, that we were 11 minutes from where we were staying, and only 2 hours from our home- yet transported into an absolute paradise. I don’t think I’ve ever seen water so crystal clear, the sky was cloudless, the sand was white, and the crescent beach was deserted- just for us. A shadow caught our eye as we dropped anchor - a large, graceful stingray gliding by. We laid our towels on the sand and marveled at the beauty and sheer perfection of the moment. The sun was just right- warm but not fierce, the water was the most exquisite temperature, and the gradient of the sand ideal for taking just a couple of steps before diving in.

We only stayed an hour or so, and as we got ready to leave several more little boats were making their way over from the mainland beach. But we had managed to time our little excursion- with such perfection, to have those incredibly special moments of absolute awe and wonder and a swelling in my heart of unimaginable gratitude; to be fortunate enough to have been there, with the love of my life, at that very moment in time.

The rest of our beach weekend was wonderful too, and we were blessed with fabulous weather, and lots of fun and good company. That special time on the island will be with me forever.

We landed home again with somewhat of a bump, heading straight back into work and school, finding our way back into routines and schedules- still not at full throttle as yet thankfully, with some activities and classes not yet resumed for the year, and with a smattering of public holidays to break up our weeks.

We just have to allow ourselves to tune into the universe to hear what she’s whispering to us, what she’s urging us to do- or not to do. Several books and articles I have read in the recent weeks have all been gently nudging me in the direction I know I am drawn to take my path. Encouraging me to be courageous and take those steps. All these little signs and whispers have been seemingly by chance, but they add up to a goosebump inducing message to follow my dreams, step out of my comfort zone and take the risk. Seasons come and go, as mother nature so graciously reminds us daily, and we need to take these opportunities and signs as they make themselves known to us- or they may slip by and been wasted. I was struck by the apples on the tree near my office - from delicate white blossoms not so long ago, the hard green little nubs, now glossy rosy apples almost ready for picking. Nature doesn’t wait, the cycles keep moving and keeping on with their own steady rhythm. So do our lives. Don’t put off what is calling to you, what’s pulling you. Don’t ignore the signs that are being shown to you, encouraging you to be brave, follow your path, take the plunge. I’m not suggesting you be wreck less, just to notice. Reflect, ponder, and allow yourself to entertain the ideas presenting themselves to you.

That magical beach has been with me in my mind frequently since our return, the (sometimes) rare and beautiful feeling of complete contentment. I intend to embrace it and keep those memories safe.

Balance; a renewed perspective

Fri, 26 Jan 2024 19:07:00 GMT

(Day 27 of my no-buy year)

Its been a week of getting back into routines, schedules and reminding myself and savoring rituals that were put aside for the summer break. While we are not back in full pace as yet, (thank fully it all starts back up in increments) It has been enough to spend a few days in the office, sometimes requiring us to set alarm clocks and being a little more prepared and organized for meals compared to the relaxed dining and food choices of full summer. The week, happily, has been heavily interspersed with down time- in the shape of long walks, beach excursions, dinners al fresco, little luxuries like pedicures- to refresh the beach feet- and tending to a few jobs around the home and garden.

There are no signs of Autumn whatsoever as yet- much as I love the season, I’m not quite ready to relinquish summer yet. However, although we are experiencing long balmy evenings, our circadian clocks are running a little later now as the brightness of 5.15am dawns are lazily drifting towards closer to 6.30am, and naturally this week I am waking later than I will need to next- not by many minutes but enough to be conscious that the alarm may feel rather brutal next week. I think many of us feel we need to hang on to every summery drop here due to the dreadful weather and extreme flooding we experienced this time last year bringing the nation and its summer plans to a halt.

While the trees are yet to turn, and the nip is yet to be felt, one job on my to do list is to order firewood in readiness for that first cool evening- hopefully not until May sometime. This evening however, we hope to light our fire pit in the garden and enjoy the smoky glow and sticky sweetness of toasting marshmallows and watching the impressive almost full moon appear. (Waning Gibbous)

The full moon

One morning this week I was taking an online yoga session here at home (I thoroughly enjoy long walks with friends and my weekly ballet class, but when it comes to any of my other forms of exercise, I find I very much prefer to be on my own- yoga, resistance training, running) and the teacher/ Guru said something which I have reflected on during my days and ponderings since, it has a afforded me a lighter, fresher look at the balance of my energy, thoughts, and daily wellbeing. Which what he said I already knew dep down, how it was phrased just sung.

” …in Yoga practice it is important to know when to be strong and soft, as in our lives it is important to allow ourselves presence and ambition”

I was struck by how relevant this is and how by applying it to our daily lives, routines, professions, families; it can help shape how we approach situations and guide us. It provides a pathway to balance. Peace.

Everyday contentment is centered around the gentle values and ethos of savoring. Of being present, of noticing the little things and taking pleasure in the everyday- finding joy in the seemingly mundane and teaching ourselves to enjoy and relish life’s simple pleasures.

This Strong and Soft, presence and ambition is relevant to my parenting, my work, my writing, my marriage, my career, my health and fitness. It’s a loaded phrase which, when you consider fully, is so full of wisdom and grounding it quite literally asks me to pause, reflect, take a breath and see things from a slightly shifted, clearer, calmer perspective.

Our community suffered a tragedy this week- and while I endeavor to keep this blog a positive space, it’s also a reminder for us not to take anything for granted. A young girl’s life was devastatingly and unexpectedly lost, and her family reeling in grief. While its wonderful and exciting and exhilarating to plan ahead, it’s a very clear message to savor today. Savor and be grateful for all the little things, all the moments, the hugs, the laughs, the furry cuddles, the story times, the birdsong, the delicious meals, the morning sun, the sip of coffee, the bite of a fresh croissant, the scent of a rose, the embrace of a loved one, the sound of the waves……..

Wishing you a peaceful, productive and inspired weekend and week ahead.

*A leaf caught in a cobweb that appeared to be floating and flying captured on a recent walk. Mother natures magic tricks. *\

A squash and a squeeze – and a manageable schedule

Sun, 21 Jan 2024 00:15:00 GMT

The image above was taken early yesterday morning on my last run at the beach before packing up and heading home, with the new term and school year almost upon us, and my husband and I returning to work. I tried to drink in every moment, savor the light, the scent of the pines, and the feeling of freedom and tranquility and summery loveliness. I picked up a shell - actually 2, one for my car, one for my handbag, to keep with me to remind me to breath, slow down, and savor when the hustle and bustle of life kicks back in.

Something that struck both of us yesterday when we walked back in our front door was how much we have in our home, how spacious it is and our myriad of possessions. My husband was the one to comment interestingly- but living in a simple, small beach house (known as a bach in New Zealand) with only a small amount of clothing and belongings, really brings attention to what’s left at home that we can potentially do without. I’m not suggesting we throw it all away and get rid of all these possessions (not the treasured or useful ones anyway!) but its a worthwhile exercise or lesson to actually acknowledge what we don’t need. Of course at home our circumstances are very different- at the beach I alternate between swimwear and beach dresses and not much else- one pair of jandals (Flipflops) and my running gear pretty much. Clearly most of us require more for our regular working week, and home comforts and seasonal necessities but it does make you reflect on the extras (read clutter/excess) we become so accustomed to for the rest of the year.

I’m sure I mentioned in a past post- my girls loved the children’s book, A squash and a squeeze by Julia Donaldson - the premise is that the old lady lives alone but complains her house is too small- there in we are introduced one by one to a host of farm animals who move in, which when she finally gets them all to leave makes her house feel huge and spacious again. sometimes we just need to shift our perspective to see things in a different light and not only be truly grateful for what we have but highlight perhaps what we don’t need or require in our lives.

So once home, having fully unpacked and done 5 loads of laundry yesterday afternoon followed by racing around to the supermarket etc as the cupboards and fridge were rather bare, I sat down early this morning to look at our up coming schedules, commitments, appointments and term times for the coming academic year. While I don’t want this holiday vibe to come to an end, the quiet (and still cool) hour I spent on the deck with coffee, my phone, calendar and a notebook has helped my reset and refocus and feel ready (or as ready as I can be while still padding round barefoot and enjoying my own summery schedule)

My diary is looking rather fuller, and I have a few lists on the go- along with meal plan for the week- but I have consciously left gaps, and devised ways to squeeze the best from the busiest days- taking a walk during my daughters ballet class for instance, so that when we get home we have the evening together as a family and to eat dinner - which is lovely in these summer months with plenty of daylight but will also be a treat in the winter not to have to be out later in the dark and cold as we were with last years dance schedule.

Its hard to get our heads around seasonal changes- well, maybe not in some corners of the world but where I grew up in England and here in NZ where there are definite seasonal changes. As I hung the laundry (yes, still more) this morning the temperature was SO hot the garments were literally drying in the basket and in my hands as I pegged them out- the pegs were almost too hot to touch- there are extreme weather warnings being issued to keep hydrated and out of the suns intense heat- but by contrast as I was mowing the lawn today I was mentally making a note we need to order fire wood to keep us toasty in the winter. Its a very good thing to stay present, and savor the moment, but it is also a nice feeling to be organized and plan and look forward- without missing and not noticing todays treasures. I actually love all the different seasons and their particular characteristics and clothing requirements, and I’m not wishing summer away- but today, on the eve of my working life kicking back off again, I am quite looking forward to embarking on and embracing our new routines and schedules, and making this year even better than the last. I truly have never felt as fit, healthy and vibrant in my life as I do right now- even after celebrating another birthday last week. I am excited for autumn, and its majestic colors and its first whisps of woodsmoke- but I am savoring the beachy days until then- laundry drying in moments, dinner cooked on the BBQ almost every night, wearing light, cool, airy clothing, and enjoying a paddleboard or a swim in the late afternoon as the day cools off.

One goal I have this year is to start meditating- probably with an App initially to keep me on track or my mind will inevitably wander! But ironically, even over 7 weeks of blissful summer- I still haven’t found the time! But I do sincerely want to accomplish this as I feel its incredibly important to our overall wellbeing.

I am excited for this year to kick off in earnest and see where it takes me- us. I have a finished book (and several on the way) I’m ready to start with the self publishing process (And feel grateful empowered to do so from wonderful mentors such as Fiona Ferris - a fellow kiwi, Jennifer L Scott - writer and youtuber/blogger whom I have followed and read her books over at least a decade, Jennifer Melville from The Elevated Everday - who’s books I have read and re read over several years, and Shannon Ables from The Simply Luxurious Life - these wonderful ladies, mostly without knowing it, have given me a sparkle and drive to see this self publishing dream through to a reality and I cannot wait!

But for now, I’m about to don my golf shoes and grab my clubs and head out on this VERY hot afternoon to my ladies golf session- more likeminded, supportive and influential women.

How fortunate I am.

Day 21 of my no buy year.\

Day 10 of my no buy year

Sun, 14 Jan 2024 10:06:00 GMT

Ten days ago when I promised myself I wouldn’t purchase any clothing or footwear for the entirety of 2024, I hadn’t really comprehended the enormity of the bombardment we receive every day. Its only been 10 day since my promise and during that time, already, I have become so acutely aware of daily temptations, advertising, social media, retail tricks to urge, persuade and cajole us into parting with our money.

I am staggered by how much it has been brought to my attention and how that little burning need, and fear of missing out, is played upon at every turn by marketing and retail. Two days into my promise I had to take my girls to a mall to purchase a few things they required (not even clothing but some skincare and a paperback book!) I was aware as I parked my car of a quiet determination to not be swayed- much as with any restrictive diet- but truly, within moments, as I purposefully walked swiftly past one of my go-to high street brands, they had a SALE rack just at the door. A $25 sale rack of all things- oh yes, quality, timeless pieces for a fraction of their usual retail price. It all but stopped me in my tracks before I quickly checked myself, and continued to the shop I was planning to go to. But that little rush, that little buzz and adrenaline, of dopamine, still surfaced- just at the thought of being able to sang a bargain, a shiny new something triggered by that magical red sign- SALE.

I am pleased to report I didn’t so much as break my stride and if anything that little experience made me even more determined to see this through. It made me hyper aware of how much we get sucked in, talk ourselves into things, persuade our selves, make excuses and justify these purchases that we truly, almost certainly don’t need. Very occasionally- a few times a year perhaps, I will go out with a list and a budget knowing exactly what I am looking to purchase, to fill a necessary gap in my wardrobe- but lets be honest- 99% of the time when we purchase clothing or footwear its on impulse- it catches our eye, a friend has one we admired, an irresistible sale price, an unmissable deal; we buy onto how we want those garments to make us feel or behave or be seen. I know I’m guilty of snatching up an off season deal on items which remain in my closet with their tags on until their season rolled round by which time that pair of pants you bought it to go with no longer fit, you’ve changed your style a little, or you just plainly see why it was heavily discounted in the first place- to shift stock. in exchange for your hard earned cash. Now I’d like to think I’m a fairly discerning shopper. I prefer quality over quantity, I have successfully enjoyed and maintained a 10 item wardrobe and a capsule wardrobe over the years, then it got a bit out of hand and kept being added to and growing- in part as my style (and shape) changed somewhat, until I reached this point. Too much.

We are currently at the beach on a family summer break in a small coastal township- with some eye wateringly affluent houses. with the grand homes comes a few boutique shops happy to accommodate their needs, whims and wallets. Our youngest wanted to browse the surf shop and while I happily accompanies her and offered advise on the style and fit of the swimwear she was trying on, again I realized how the clever merchandising draws you in, try’s to persuade you and influence you, offer you something more, something better. Amazingly I felt almost smug knowing that I had absolutely no intention of making a purchase for myself - other than sunscreen….which we genuinely needed and is not clothing!

It has felt like a long time already- and if I’m honest I’m a little apprehensive of the FULL YEAR and all the temptations and opportunities which will be scattered regularly across my path. But I genuinely want to do this. To re teach myself to make do, but more importantly to really love and appreciate all the lovely clothing I ALREADY own. Gratefully and happily.

On a recent walk I was pondering all this and my new found discipline (lets not get carried away and say frugality!) and I chose to focus on the micro not the macro : I’m often mesmerized by the magnificent panoramas and vistas we are fortunate enough to live by and here at our favorite beach settlement, but it was poignant to reflect that all these littler details make up the bigger pictures- that these giant impressive vistas are made up of these minute details. This quite reflection on nature helped me re focus on the bigger picture, the end game and the reason I wasn’t to do things in the first place.

I know its “just clothes” but it signifies a deeper more important underlying conditioning we seem to have all been washed with in the first world. Rather than celebrating what we have and treasuring our possessions we are always searching for more bigger brighter better newer. its gluttony for the most part, and wasteful and worst of all- just accepted. So, bringing this back to the wonders of mother nature helps me step back, breath and see the bigger picture for what it is.

A brand new year

Sat, 06 Jan 2024 03:23:00 GMT

we are in the throes of mid-summer here- although the view outside my window at this moment is trying to tell a different story! But with the new year in the southern hemisphere, despite the warmer weather, I still feel an urge to declutter, organize and simplify. Maybe after the festivities of Christmas and the new gifts we have perhaps welcomed and found new homes for, the desire to start a fresh as a new year rolls round and the pause before the academic year starts up again always inspires me to be as tidy, streamlined and organized as I can be.

I have tackled smallish little “hot spots” of clutter in the past weeks - particularly on rainy days. I love opening the fridge to see a fresh variety of produce that’s inviting and accessible. I try to purge the fridge every 2 weeks or so to make sure there aren’t too many occasions to find a limp, yellowing head of broccoli, a slimy cucumber or cant-quite-remember leftovers.

Often the new year brings promise of fresh starts, healthy eating plans, new routines and schedules. Where better place to start than the fridge as its generally a do-able and immediately rewarding task. I take everything out shelf by shelf, wipe the insides and handles and then only replace what’s fresh and in date and I group similar items: A box for cheeses, cold meats, dairy on one shelf, salads in one drawer, vegetables in another and a fully filled, sparking water bottle arsenal at the top- we go through liters and liters as its practically all we drink as a family….and coffee of course!

I don’t tend to have to throw much away as I do this regularly and combined with meal planning I usually use mostly what I have- on occasion though, I’ll take all the less than crispy vegetables and make a soup or stock. Its lovely to merchandise the items and make them look attractive and inviting- a vintage bowl holds my lemons, and a glass shallow dish for the cut lemon and ginger. Fresh and Zingy and not only easier to reach for than a less healthful snack but inspiring and a joy to prepare a nourishing meal from.

Today the towel cupboard is next on my list. Its beach season, so fresh towels are reached for and pulled down haphazardly to the extent that last night I was unable to put the freshly laundered ones back as they were so badly jammed back in! It wont take more than 10 minutes but I know I feel so accomplished- not to mention relieved- once its done, and will enjoy reaching for a towel on our next sandy outing.

Yesterday, on the spur of the moment, both my husband and I decided to tackle our walk in closet. ( A miracle in itself as we rarely, if ever, de clutter these kinds of areas together usually)

With the help of an enthusiastic teen fashionista and the quiet encouragement from a comfortably dozing cat, we tried on, piled up, bagged, sorted, organized and re arranged for 3 hours! Our walk in now resembles more of a boutique than an over stuffed discount store; several bags are ready to be dropped off to donate, my daughter scored a few gems of hand me downs, and a friend called in to shop my closet and was thrilled with her “new” items. It was such a satisfying feeling I almost want to do it again to get rid of another layer….

I have however made a promise to myself: Having really truly witnessed the extent of my wardrobe- including pieces I’d even forgotten were in there (!) and the terrifying number of shoes my daughter delighted in counting, I vow to not purchase ANY MORE CLOTHING OR FOOTWARE IN 2024!

Gulp.

2 exceptions I will allow myself-

I am able to replace my running shoes if they ware out.

And if I need to purchase a dress for the formal wedding we have be invited to attend, I will find a pre loved solution.

I am actually really looking forward to the challenge, to applying the discipline and to the lessons I will no doubt learn. I feel a little buzz at the thought of making it successfully, of the other areas I can extend this to (Lipstick, candles…) and a glow of the financial savings that will result.

My life is abundant already. I have more than enough, and the things I enjoy most are not the items I clothe myself in, but the places I go and the people I’m with. A rainy walk (plenty of those to come I have no doubt!) A walk at Twighlight on the beach, coffee early in the morning while my cats enjoy their breakfast, a good book, a cuddle on the couch, the scent of a home grown rose, a belly laugh. These are the things we treasure. Not another pair of camel ballet flats.

Simple. Everyday. Living.

Contentment.

Between the years

Fri, 29 Dec 2023 20:42:00 GMT

A beautiful sense of calm contentment and peace washed over me in the days immediately following Christmas. Boxing day itself was rather busy - but fun- in that we’d planned to take advantage of the Boxing Day Sales with the girls. But we had a plan for the day, a list of where each of us wanted to go and we were intentional with our purchases. From new life jackets to new underwear sets- nothing we bought was on impulse as such and we all felt happy with our purchases and the deals we snagged. After a couple of solid hours of retail we replenished our energy stores in a cafe - coffee for me but Eggs Benidict for the others and then we were happily done and ready to come home.

The joy of returning home was so special, knowing an entire week lay before us with no commitments or appointments (Bar one for me) just dreamy summer days to do with as we wished.

The weather has been very rainy peppered with the odd sunny day or afternoon- which we have enjoyed some beach time and swims, seeing friends, reading lots and quiet mornings enjoying coffee early as the neighborhood wakes up. Yesterday the rain was so heavy I even began a puzzle as it poured outside - and the cat decided the lid of the puzzle box looked perfect for a napping spot.

I am savoring the feeling of promise, of a brand-new year just around the corner, the anticipation of our long-awaited beach holiday in a couple of weeks, and the wonderfully relaxed contentment that comes with a leisurely day before you, to do with as you wish. While the weather currently is not conducive to hanging my laundry or lounging on the beach- or finishing the gardening projects I started, I can’t help feeling that is part of the reset and relaxation. Encouraging us to read more, potter, play board games, take wet walks and do puzzles- it must be close to 20 years since I did a real jigsaw! (And I’m very slow and not even convinced I enjoy it - but I enjoyed the tranquility of sitting at the large dining table, with it spread before me, one of my daughters coming to help and the sound of the rain lashing.)

Today I’m looking forward to having a bit of a de clutter, tidy, and sort, putting away some of the Christmas Decor- we’ve decided to leave the real tree up a little longer as it smells divine and it’s so pretty its a shame to get rid of it before new years at least.

I’m enjoying being more spontaneous about dinner options as there is no time crunch, so we can decide what we might like during the day- rather than my meal planning schedules of busy term time. These things may not even register with my family, but for me, as the main homemaker and organizer of all things domestic, it’s a real treat to step back from the schedule , the lists, the to dos; allow myself a later afternoon walk on a whim, lie on the sofa to finish by current book after lunch, take my morning workout routine a little later after a chat and coffee with my husband, let the girls wake when they are ready, and THINK. I’ve been planning, dreaming, conjuring, connecting, journaling, making notes, taking countless photographs and drawing inspiration continually. I am truly allowing this downtime to nourish and re charge me. Utterly guilt free. The between the years week is just that- wrapping up the old, preparing to begin the new and planning. How luxurious to have this time.

I am savoring every moment.

I’m thinking tomorrow may be that last acceptable day to enjoy coffee or tea from my Christmas china Spode, so I am going to pop some laundry on, make a coffee and sit outside watching the birds, making a list perhaps, dreaming up dinner, and when I am quite ready, I may start my decluttering and tidying. Only when I feel like it. How wonderful is that!?

Droplets of rainy Christmas cheer

Sun, 24 Dec 2023 03:53:00 GMT

I’ve been composing this post for several days in my head and intended to write a lengthy one yesterday; but I chose to consciously embrace other opportunities and activities that presented themselves; to treasure the everydayness of the build up to the season.

From the bustling malls and Christmas gift buying of earlier this week, to a morning at home lingering over coffee and sumptuous seasonal treats.

Sharing the company of dear friends and many laughs, then as they left the sky turned very dark and the heavens opened. My cue to start the baking I had planned- a sourdough loaf I’d been nurturing and proving and a bouche de Noel.

Well, while what I produced doesn’t look quite the picture of perfection I had in my head (!) it tastes delicious and I was able to laugh at my mistakes and errors- as were my girls with un checked delight in the “nailed it” episode I seemed to be starring in!

I managed a walk between down pours after tiding up the kitchen and I will start preparing our Christmas eve feast shortly- Rolled Turkey roast and potato gratin. The perfect wet cosy night for it- despite the high temperatures and sticky humidity!

SO, my other thoughts and pondering will wait until after Christmas for the blog. As I have chosen above all else to remain present, treasure time with my loved ones and to savor all the little moments. Like a rainy Christmas eve- which although was not conducive to our traditional beach outing, was perfect for my baking and happily pottering at home.

Merry Christmas, may you find peace and contentment.

The simple luxury of a morning routine

Sun, 17 Dec 2023 19:15:00 GMT

I relish and enjoy and savor my morning routines throughout the year: I am an early riser anyway, and I enjoy the early morning productive and energizing and allowing it to set the tone for the day. Typically I am up and awake between 5am-6am even on weekends, year round. I look forward to all the little simple pleasures of my day- greeting my cats and giving them a cuddle and their breakfast, a tall glass of water before the first sip of coffee; I ENJOY doing the laundry- especially hanging it out early on a fine day.

I take pleasure in leaving the house tidy and organized and set for the afternoon/ evening when we all return. And its SO much nicer to come home to.

What has begun happening just over the last couple of weeks, as we approach the longest day here in New Zealand, is I am waking up completely naturally, with my genuine circadian rhythm. It is such a pleasure to slowly and gently come to, glance at the clock, then watch the light change and eventually rise and filter though the tree tops to light up our bedroom with that special morning glow. A brand new day. (We don’t close the drapes in our bedroom- we never have in any of our homes as we’ve always been fortunate enough to have very private homes and prefer to see the night sky, the trees, the dawn, I enjoy the coziness of watching and listening to the rain lash the windows or the silhouettes of the trees being buffeted in the winter months)

During these summery months, I wake naturally, allow myself to fully wake, and take such pleasure in listening to the birds as they begin their busy day, the hum and chirrup of the cicadas warming up, and then throwing open the windows fully and the bed covers as I potter downstairs to enjoy my coffee outside in the fresh morning air. The simple joy this brings me each day make me excited for the next one.

It has been a wonderful week of festive social engagements, from Bach Oratorio at the Town Hall, celebrating my Husbands birthday with Brunch at favorite spot out of town followed by a wander though an impressive sculpture garden, lunch and browsing the beautiful big department stores in the city with their magical windows, to a showing at the Grand Theatre of the movie Love Actually, accompanied spectacularly by a live orchestra on stage playing the entire score. And while each of these wonderful experiences were a treat and absolutely delightful, waking up to the birds and a whole day stretching out Infront of me in which to enjoy my home, family, pets and garden- and the local beach, is truly my favorite simple pleasure.

Its easy to get caught up in the hype and festivities- as fun as they might be- and this is not intended to take the shine off these Christmassy outings and excursions, nor the friends and family I happily experience them with, but coming home for a shower, a cup of my favorite peppermint tea in a festive mug, a quiet sit outside as night falls and climbing into bed with a good book, knowing I will gladly and gratefully wake with the birds tomorrow, is a treasure not to be overlooked.

A simple pleasure indeed.

Now my Spode Christmas cup of coffee is empty, I’ve finished my water too, and written this outside in my nightgown as many people in the neighborhood still rush off to work for their last week before Christmas, I am off to pop some shorts on and go for a long bush walk with a friend before fully enjoying and savoring the luxury of pottering about my home and garden for the rest of the day. A spot of weeding, some tomatoes to plant, fresh line dried linen to put back on beds, and some sourdough bread to bake, a book to finish. What a dreamy day I have ahead.

From carbon to diamonds: Learning to find the gems in our everyday

Sat, 09 Dec 2023 19:37:00 GMT

My mindset for a gentle week was somewhat challenged this week and engagements and activities stacked up. But I feel considering, I have balanced it all reasonably well with quiet moments too. As I type this morning I am sat in the early sun, with coffee and my laptop and the gentle birdsong and rustle of leaves. Its soothing and exactly what is required after a couple of incredibly full days.

I am thankful I was able to consciously pause to truly appreciate little pockets of peace. After a very long- but wonderfully rewarding day- on Friday, I walked home in the warm evening rays around 7pm, with a sense of accomplishment, and eager anticipation for the festive weekend ahead, while happily weighed down with an enormous armful of sunflowers to enjoy at home. Quite literally a bunch of summer in my arms.

Something as simple as planting a seed a few short months ago, and nature delivers a power packed punch of sheer joy. This analogy can really be applied to so much in our daily lives, from as menial a task as emptying the dishwasher at night so that you come down to a tidy kitchen ready for the new day, or much longer goals, like investing in our health and wellness, saving for that deposit, purchasing that plane ticket for a trip in the future, or investing in our relationships. Good things come to those who wait is not just a flippant saying. But don’t just wait either. Remember to look today too.

These seasonal blooms are so glorious -to be enjoyed for their short window before the next magnificent season. It makes us pause and appreciate these things and note the quiet passing of each season and in turn each year. All too easy to keep looking ahead and not appreciate the present.

Challenging life seasons and chapters are no exception, especially when its hard work and a bit sticky, to wish it forward, but actually all these moments, spectacularly challenging AND spectacularly beautiful, are what make up our everydays- make up our lives. Therefor it is wasteful to wish them away. Even when they are uncomfortable, as within these rocky moments are also gems . An unpleasant teenage battle; but feeling the support and love of a lifelong friend whose been there too and the warmth of your husband who’s right there with you. The tragedy of a member of the community suffering but the wrap around of love they receive as a result.

There is good and positive everywhere. we just have to choose to look for it. And if today that means finding a quiet few seconds to smell a rose, a few minutes to arrange some flowers and stand back to appreciate their beauty in a vase, folding a clean load of fluffy towels straight off the line, lighting a favorite candle, indulging in a truffle, sharing a knowing look or laugh with a loved one or 1/2 an hour to ourselves with a book you’re engrossed in, a long hug from your baby, affection from a pet, or the feel of the sun on your face in the morning. These are all treasures- jewels, to be savored and appreciated. To fill you up. The more you tune into noticing these little sparkles, the more you’ll see them everywhere, and the happier, more contented, more glowy you feel.

Its especially important during the festive season when emotions notoriously run high, finances are often strained and diaries are fuller than usual. Whether you are religious or not, Christmas above all, is a time to be grateful, and spread peace. Be an ambassador to these qualities and values. The more you are the more it spreads around you.

I cant help feeling this is my waffliest post to date. I’m a huge mix of emotions and I think Christmas often has that effect. Here especially in the southern hemisphere- where the end of the school year plus the festive season and all its magic, plus summer is all rolled into one. Its one big huge Christmas Stocking of experiences and emotions. You have no idea what the next gift will be - you cant even see the shape of it until you reach down into it and bring it out, and very often, the small ones are the best….or the one at the very end. Enjoy each gift as you unwrap it. Again, the quote I shared this week which really resonated-

You always know when its your first time for something, but you rarely know when its your last.

December: as Christmas engagements start to fill our calendars

Fri, 01 Dec 2023 22:28:00 GMT

December 1st. Traditionally here in New Zealand, this date heralds the (Optimistic) start of summer months, welcoming Christmas decor into our homes and our social calendar filling up rapidly.

Whether its due to my recent relaxed trip and re set, or the fact I’ve been under the weather now for more than a week, this year the overriding urge I am feeling is the opposite of the usual increase in hustle and bustle, festive engagements and urgency to shop for gifts and tick off endless lists.

This season I feel a simple sense of calm. Of paring back and taking stock and winding down for summer, rathe than cranking up for the silly season.

While I have several events in the diary I very much look forward to- from ballet recitals, to festive theatre productions to a Bach performance, I also am on my own countdown, which has begun earlier than usual this year with the finishing up of my girls dance schedule, and my own, sports seasons wrapping up and gradually school years coming to an end- even earlier for my eldest as exams are now all over.

I am savoring the simplest of pleasures such as enjoying my first morning coffee in my treasured Spode China Christmas collection, Peppermint tea in a large comforting Christmassy mug, lighting the advent candles with dinner for the first time last night and bringing out our little terrace of houses with its rolling star to mark the date (Pictured) the anticipation of going to choose our tree from the farm and adorning it with our precious victorian-esque glass decorations; trying a new recipe for a Buche de Noel, planning a simple, elegant Christmas day feast, and carefully considering meaningful gifts for closest family.

I happily feel as though I’ve stepped out of the rat race its so easy to be swept along with- without even feeling any of the usual sense of urgency or need to accomplish and frantically tick off “to dos”.

A sense of calm and faith that it will all fall into place prevails and I am so looking forward to savoring the simplest of pleasures. Lingering over coffee in the morning, relaxing snuggled up watching old time favorite Christmas movies, wallowing in several books I have on my reading list, appreciating the magical twinkle of the hundred of white Christmas lights on the tree in the evenings and the intoxicating smell if the fresh pine, and then, once the new year rolls round, a beachy restorative holiday to look forward to with family.

Its a feeling that is new to me- with slightly older children now, Christmas takes on a somewhat different shape- no less magical, just differently magical. We are not welcoming overseas guest this year, we have no major events to organize or host (yet) and the events we do have booked in are all outside the home, affording us the treat of coming home to a peaceful house and a twinkling tree.

I’m greatly looking forward to tending to my little potager- vegetable garden- balmy evenings on the deck listening to the birds good night calls turn into the crickets and moreporks, and waking when my body is ready to fresh new days to fil with whatever we please, in no rush.

I will likely miss events we are probably not going to manage this year- the infamous street in town where every house decorates for Christmas quite spectacularly as onlookers wander up and down with dripping ice-creams or candy canes in sticky fingers. Visiting the historical department store with its magical indoor forest leading to the real Father Christmas, and the carol service at the cathedral. But all these wonderful, magical events take scheduling and organization and planning that simply isn’t part of my festive scheme or capabilities this year.

So, today, already the second day of December, is a very quiet Saturday, with one or two errands, relaxing at home, a simple nutritious dinner - with the advent candles lit- and an early night.

No guilt, not feeling duty bound, no late night shopping scramble. Just peace. And contentment. And quiet moments to savor.

Black Friday and consumerism, and the strength to pull away

Sun, 26 Nov 2023 19:29:00 GMT

The media and retail have been amping it up weeks before the actual ‘event’, with marketing that hooks you in, catch phrases the stay with you, and a feeling that you’ll miss out if you don’t partake. Keep an eye on items on line, watch for price drops, get bombarded with adverts and offers and specials. A little knot of unease and a need to race to get the best deal, the biggest bargain, the highest discount.

Goodness me. What a frenzy! Little or no mention of Thanksgiving, which in itself I think is a lovely idea for a holiday: to pause, reflect and appreciate and be grateful- THANKFUL- for everything we do have. How terribly sad that over the decades, that sentiment has been so overshadowed by the antithesis of Thanksgiving- a new day all together- a consumerist maelstrom of need, greed and want.

Here in New Zealand very little time was given to Thanksgiving itself - a day of gratitude for the blessings and harvest of the year- but a giant materialist free for all to encourage and cajole people spend up large, (Right before Christmas!) or fear missing a bargain too good to say no to.

And don’t get me started on Cyber Monday- what!?!

Now, I’m coming very much from both sides of this. I had an unpleasant experience earlier this week where having returned from a beautiful long walk, I was soaking up the sunshine outside while enjoying my late breakfast, and - more fool me- scrolled on my phone. I was intending to find a nice inspirational post from a favorite influencer, but low and behold, a flash sale for a sleepwear company. A company we always purchase pajama sets for both the girls each Christmas. I was thrilled- I had that little consumer buzz, a little tummy turner that I had made a start on the Christmas shopping and with great savings. The moment, the very moment, the transaction was processed, something didn’t feel quite right. If its too good to be true it often is…… Suffice to say, I called the store to verify my purchases and, no, it wasn’t them. I’d been duped. Scammed. I felt SUCH a fool! I know better! But the desire to get a bargain, to purchase at a discount, to get in quick before the deal was gone- overrode all my common sense. End of the story- no pajamas, credit card cancelled.

Its taught me - or rather re-taught me, a valuable lesson I thought I already knew. In fact I’d go so far as to say was rather morally superior. I will be much more cautious and considered on any online purchases in future, go via a Bonafide website, and will pause and not rush into an unmissable bargain.

During one of my many beautiful walks this week in and around my local neighborhood and parklands, I have re thought and re educated myself on this NEED. I am the first to admit I love a little shopping spree, but I much prefer to do it when I have items in mind I’m looking for, an idea of budget, and the time to browse and peruse at leisure. But really, truly, we talk ourselves into needing things. And often one purchase can lead to another if we are not intentional with our purchases- and our purse strings. We feel that one thing will help with- our fitness, our comfort, that dinner date, the evening at the opera-insert whatever scenario you are internally justifying.

We need to stop making decisions, stop making purchases, stop wasting our hard earned cash, out of a feeling of lack. We are enough.

Then joy and feeling of wellbeing and fulfilment I have enjoyed and experienced this past week (And most of the time really) by observing the wonders of late spring unfold, taking a moment to smell the magnificent roses- those in the garden and those in the pretty bouquets I have brought inside to enjoy, watching the clouds scudding across a bright moon, shelling fresh peas, fresh produce- giant blueberries from a farm stall, listening to my little bird friends greet the day and bid it good night, being present and feeling alive (head cold aside ) as I watch the dawn break through our east facing bedroom window, welcoming a new day, full of promise and potential, an abundance of things to enjoy, savor and be grateful for- all without costing a penny.

Feeling rather under the weather today, I’m looking forward to drying my Belgian linen sheets on the line, finishing a charming novel I began yesterday, pottering in the kitchen and possibly pulling some weeds and allowing my body a day to heal and recover so that hopefully this sniffle will clear up. And OfCourse, I’ll enjoy a walk at some point too. But now, coffee and a peaceful moment or two with the breeze and birdsong.

Time to step back and reflect

Sat, 18 Nov 2023 19:46:00 GMT

Gosh, it feels like an age since I quietly sat to write at home. But my mind has been busy, in the best possible way.

Its hard to believe only a few short days ago I was soaking up the hot Fijian sunshine, cooling off in the crystal clear waters and spending precious time with my dearest, oldest friend who lives on the other side of the world to me.

It was an experience of many “firsts”. I hadn’t left my family behind since becoming a mother over 16 years ago, we had no schedule whatsoever, and my companion had never been to Fiji.

This left much time for reflection and thoughts to swirl, peppered with SOOO much conversation, reminiscing and belly laughs’ till the tears streamed down our faces. A tonic for the soul indeed.

After an emotional farewell as we made our way to separate flights, I received a message from saying she’d not felt so grounded in years. It was as though the penny dropped. That was exactly how I was feeling too. I was overtaken by a feeling of immense gratitude, and calm and balance.

So incredibly fortunate to be able to have such an extraordinary time, but to connect on such a deep level with a friend, with whom you share so much history - and to draw countless parallels from our lives despite living in different hemispheres.

It has been easy to pare back the unnecessary woes and worries since my return, to be more Laissez Faire, and to allow daily tasks and necessities to just unfold in a way I haven’t been so free with for years. It was a delight to come home to the welcoming arms of my family and a valuable lesson in their capabilities, the limits and demands I inflict on myself and - to be brutally honest, my self imposed unrealistic standards!

I’m quite certain it wont all be plain sailing, and of course there will be future challenges, hurdles and bumps. But I plan to do my best to take a metaphorical and physical step back to reflect and breathe before engaging in them. The island life mentality is infectious but can be quickly forgotten when as with today, the to do list is growing, Monday is looming and the rain is lashing at the windows. But the joy and happiness that radiates from the Fijians is something I know my friend carried back to the UK and that made me re observe such a beautiful inspiring trait.

Its so easy to get caught up in the busyness and race through the week, not treasure the moments of joy, or calm, or peace, or humor in our days. Especially as we approach Christmas. So this morning, I allowed myself a quiet gentle start, I am enjoying the sound of the rain and the feeling of justification of cosy inside jobs, and am savoring a simple posy I picked -as the rain fell- for the kitchen table with some home made beeswax candles my girls made years ago that were unearthed during a clear out yesterday! A simple tableaux of spring.

I feel extraordinarily blessed to have the most incredible loving family here, who supported and celebrated our trip, (And I returned to a clean tidy organized home!) but also to have a treasured friendship of over 35 years. I am humbled by my fortune and my cup truly runneth over.

Reflection, quotes, and focusing on the little things

Mon, 30 Oct 2023 04:50:00 GMT

The very “mission statement” for this blog has come into sharper focus for me this week. The deeper meaning becoming more clear to me. To look at my immediate surroundings. To absorb what is already at my fingertips and so beautiful and awe inspiring, simple and gentle, delicate and ordinary.

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results” Willie Nelson

The world is hurting right now, from conflicts, bloodshed and environmental issues. People hurting one another. And this post is in no means intended to belittle the pain and suffering and violence. Rather to hone our focus to what we can be grateful for, what we can appreciate, and what is still good in the world. And there is SO much good if we choose to look.

I am trying to not be too absorbed in the current news and events as I find it too distressing. That’s not to say I’m unaware or burying my head in the sand, or turning my back on it. But I’m employing a coping strategy that works for me. I’m choosing to protect myself and my inner peace.

Ways I do this throughout my day are through quiet moments and reflection, noticing birdsong, taking time to smell the flowers- physically and metaphorically. Look for the good. Its still there. In abundance.

“Each day comes bearing gifts. Untie the ribbon. “Ann Ruth Schabacker

The quote above is so simple, and conjures up the magic of a gift and the anticipation of what it may contain. Just as each new days unfolds, we need to keep the magic, the optimism, the promise. Look for the good. Be grateful, and keep noticing how much you have to be grateful for.

Its all too easy to get sucked into the vortex of doom and negativity, though social media, the news, idle gossip. Choose to be the light. The optimism, The positive force in your life and it will soon shine onto other peoples too. the ripples will travel.

“Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive good things and good people will be drawn to you.” Mary-Lou Retton

None of us are perfect, we all get snippy, tired and a little impatient. But so long as we can reflect on that, try to improve ourselves, acknowledge our triggers and endeavor to react and respond better next time, we are slowing making a difference. To ourselves. Those immediately around us, and wider.

The ripple effect is a very powerful thing.

If you know there is that someone who is always a negative drain, always in competition with you, passive aggressive, Narcisistic. Sometimes its not always appropriate to cut them out of your life for reasons you are unable to control. But you can control your mind and how you think about it, how their behavior effects YOU. Choose to be positive, happy and vibrant. And slowly, edge them to the side lines. even if you can only do so in your mind for the time being. don’t allow them to encroach on your positivity. Your BLISS.

“Doing the best at this moment, puts you in the best place for the next moment. We have to make the choice, every single day- to exemplify the truth, the respect and the grace we wish for in this world “ Oprah Winfrey

So step back from the enormity of the bigger picture, just for a moment or two, look around at your immediate environment, find the beauty, the promise and the magic in your everyday. Take a windy walk, sit quietly outside and just, listen. Watch the clouds, observe the moon. Those ripples will travel…and keep travelling.

A last , and favorite quote from my childhood- or rather a character.

Do-as-you-would-be -done-by, or Mrs.Bedonebyasyoudid from Charles Kingsley’s The Water Babies C1863

Wouldn’t we all wish to be treated as we treat others?

Long weekend staycation

Sun, 22 Oct 2023 20:49:00 GMT

I dont particularly like the term staycation. however, there doesn’t seem to be anything equivalent to sum up how this long weekend has unfolded.

We often feel a sense of urgency or pressure to head out of town on a long weekend- particularly this one in NZ being Labor weekend, traditionally to start of “spring proper” where tomato seedlings are planted and tentative beach goers take their first dip.

With a few busy weeks behind us and a weekend away not in the budget we made no plans to head away and only one social engagement in the diary.

The end of the working week was full and busy with lots of juggling, but after a long early evening walk, our family found ourselves all at home for a gentle evening. Some friends popped in just as the burgers were sizzling on the BBQ, invited for an impromptu dinner which they declined but a nice little catchup. Then Saturday morning we entertained some long standing, great family friends for an extended leisurely brunch. Nine of us in total and the coffee and orange juice flowed, and we nibbled on Croissants, Bagels, smoked salmon, a beautiful seasonal fruit platter, egg and bacon bites and granola yoghurt parfaits. The weather was prefect, sunny but not too hot, the atmosphere relaxed and easy and brunch lasted till well into the afternoon with kids bombing up and down the drive on scooters, basketball, and lots of good conversation and laughs. There was no pressure, no time limit, and as we’ve known these lovely people for many years watching our children grow up together everything just fell into place and felt so natural and relaxing. I’m certain it helped we all felt the extra day to the weekend allowed us to savor and not rush.

That evening, after a simple dinner on the BBQ as I was snuggled in my robe with my peppermint tea, our neighbours messaged to invite us to lunch the following day. “very casual” so we accepted gladly, as we had no other plans and the luxury of time.

Then morning was spent pottering at home, planting seedlings, mowing lawns, playing outdoor games. Rather than go out on a day we planned to be home, I made fresh lemonade to take as a contribution and baked some beautiful flat bread when, when it was time to wander down the drive had been out of the oven minutes.

The smell of the woodchips used on their proper grill, and the ease of their hospitality reminded me of European lunches, no rush, no time frame, just good food and good company and weather kind enough to allow us to dine alfresco. Originally from Argentina, the chimichurri was not only totally authentic but out of this world delicious. Simple fare, but great quality and flavorsome. Lamb and pork ribs, sausages, crusty bread along withy our focaccia, and a huge salad. That was it. NO desert, no nibbles, no ketchup! And it was perfect. I’m so renowned for over catering and it really brought the message home then entertaining can -and should-be just about getting knees under the table, sharing a meal, and enjoying the company of guests. The kids did their own thing, and lunch stretched until well after 4pm.

There was no looming sense of Monday- itis. And after my afternoon walk a simple light supper was all we required.

Today stretches before us, with more fine weather forecast, my linen sheets on the line by 7am and a gentle yoga session in the early morning sun.

The only thing vaguely planned today is to meet up with some friends with various jet skis and boats for some fun at the beach…and maybe a dip if I’m brave.

With no expectations, no rigorous planning, and a very consciously small and “do-able” to do list, these few days have felt like a complete re set and a tonic. I wouldn’t have changed a thing or wished to be anywhere else. time to sit on my deck in the sun with an oatmilk coffee as I type this feels so decadent. and I’m even going to finish ready my book sat right here once i post this.

The weekend has involved very little outside of our little haven, no driving anywhere, no rushing about, no fitting things in. No PRESSURE.

Surely, that is the ultimate luxury, savoring your surrounding, enjoying your daily rituals and pleasures, and allowing the day to unfold.

A week of life lessons from youth to maturity

Sun, 15 Oct 2023 01:53:00 GMT

Emotions and feelings have been a little unpredictable this week- much like the weather!

But through the little dips and bumps- be it struggling to get quality sleep or it raining on my laundry- again, its actually been a productive, and very positive week- one which I feel taught me a great deal. Friday night capped off the week with a beautiful evening and candle lit dinner in the city with my beloved.

Last Sunday, I met with my ladies Golf group- which is always great fun- we don’t take things too seriously. One of our golfing friends had her daughter with her for the session and over coffee afterwards we were talking about work/ career/jobs.

This young, recently graduated vibrant lady was discussing potential jobs, and offers and things she’d missed out on. She spoke a phrase that really made me take note- having been offered a position in a company- but not in the area of the organization she was interviews for, she turned down the offer- by saying “Thank you, but no; It’s not an area I’m looking to upskill in right now”. Wow. Bien dans sa Peaux!

The confidence to politely turn down and offer and stick to your path and ambition is something I’m sure I’d struggle with even now in my 40’s! There was no bad feeling, no regret, and no sense of obligation to take the position that she knew wasn’t right for her.

Within a day or so of this conversation, I was pottering in the kitchen at home listening to a Podcast of an interview with Jane Fonda I’d stumbled upon. From the other end of the age spectrum, as she’s now well into her 80’s - and she was describing how in her younger years and her career was just starting out- she was too grateful to say no if someone wanted to hire her - presumably for a role- even if it didn’t fit and wasn’t on the trajectory she was aiming. She felt obliged to accept. With experience and maturity she has learned what she wants, to feel comfortable in her beliefs and to have the power to say NO. Including, despite several past husbands, choosing to be happily single now so she can be her authentic true self. Brought up in an age where women in particular were expected to fir the norms, conform - and be grateful for a job/ Husband/ career.

Very telling how these tow women have handled things so very differently with the years between them.

Then as if the universe was trying to really get its point across to me, we had another golf session on course later in the week, this time we were guided and coached by a true veteran. A lady with 50 years of experience in the sport behind her, with a zest and gumption for life that is enviable. She was so uplifting and encouraging. When I left home to attend the session I was dog tired. Lack of sleep and a busy and full few days left me wanting a hot shower and an early night. But within minutes of being introduced to this force of nature, I felt vitalized, energized and inspired. She was one of those rare and precious souls who was positive about everything and with such a can do attitude- about the sport but also about life. It was totally refreshing and just what I needed to spur me on.

The combination of these three remarkable women, Waking up to a new government -post election- this morning, (The All Blacks winning against Ireland in Paris, )and the discovery of some fascinating and heartbreaking family history during the week regarding my late grandfathers immediate family, I was being sent a clear message;

Look at the big picture. Step back if you need to to gain some distance and a fresh outlook, if you feel you need to re look at an area or gain a new perspective. You can choose to over come almost any obstacle in your path. Life is for living so embrace it fully- each and every day.

The more you organize, the better you feel!

Sat, 07 Oct 2023 02:13:00 GMT

Ugh, those jobs you just put off and put off and they niggle away and nag and every time you open that cupboard/ drawer/ door/ (Insert your bugbear here) you can’t close it quick enough to try to push it to the back of your mind again.

A wet Saturday morning, not a huge amount on the agenda after a very full week with lots of driving and various appointments, and thankfully my family all back under one roof again after a long over seas business trip.

The cupboard under the stairs- as the girls charmingly named it- “ The Harry Potter cupboard” had reached the point where I could no longer ignore it. After the suitcase from my weary traveler was haphazardly discarded in there once the laundry was thrown in the direction of where the washing fairies work their magic (!) the time had come.

It wasn’t so very long ago I spent quite some time tidying and sorting under there so in actual fact, what I’d put off for many many weeks, didn’t actually take that long to re organize and straighten out; it now functions as it should, I know exactly what we have in there and there is a sizable pile ready to donate too.

The sense of accomplishment was disproportionate to the task, however it made me feel so good, so motivate and HAPPY. So simple. But it really impacted my day.

I did something similar with our medical supplies cupboard a week or so ago- which was in a far worse state- but several days on I still get huge pleasure from opening the cupboard to get the daily vitamins, or items for the cats (we store their food at the bottom) The feeling of accomplishment and achievement is palpable. It is so worth the investment of time - when you’re not under pressure, to reap the rewards and benefits afterwards.

Its often the things we put off, but that actually can have a fairly profound effect on the quality and enjoyment of our daily lives, that sometimes can be far less painful and time consuming once we embark on them, and the relief and satisfaction they provide once ticked off is immeasurable.

We can apply this to a messy cupboard, a doctors visit, the dentist or even a difficult conversation we need to have. Often the thought is far more challenging and more of a barrier that the deed itself. We need to be brave, or courageous, or just DO IT. Some things are just unavoidable, even if they may appear unpleasant, but usually, the longer we leave it, the worse it gets.

Just that 30 minutes or so of getting stuck in set me up in a positive mindset for the day. I have rewarded myself with making a batch of fresh truffles to enjoy in the evenings with my favorite peppermint tea and a “new” show I am enjoying.

Each day the signs of spring are making their presence more and more felt. The blooms are magnificent, the wildlife seems to be relishing the warmer temperature- and some glorious sunshine for a few days, and although the rain steadily falls as I type- again- It’s fresh and mild - to the point where I almost, ALMOST changed over my wardrobe to spring summer- but thought better of it. A little premature perhaps- maybe another week or two.

Reflections

Fri, 29 Sep 2023 23:20:00 GMT

“By observing nature you begin to sense the harmonious interaction of all the elements and forces of life. The lavish display of abundance in the universe is an expression of the creative mind of nature”

Deepak Chopra

If I were to look at the several day preceding today and those ten or so to come, I could choose to be rather glum. Many friends are away either over seas or in different parts of the country enjoying not only a break but some beautiful warm weather, my husband is away on business in tropical climes, and here we are, in temperatures struggling to get above above 16, howling winds and what seems to be no more than a few brief minutes between heavy, squally down pours.

I have chosen NOT to feel disadvantaged, or that I’m mossing out, or envy. I am so fortunate to be able to quietly enjoy my beautiful home, the nature on our doorstep and my girls.

As I served up hot steaming waffles for a late breakfast this morning, the heavens opened (for the umpteenth time today) and my eldest physically wrapped her arms around herself and exclaimed how much she loved the rain and how perfect it was we got to spend a gentle day at home, cosy, with no where we have to be, just to enjoy it; To brace an inevitably soggy walk later and come home to a warm inviting house to prepare dinner and have a relaxing evening. She is so completely right.

Two events have piqued my sense of calm and contentment over the past few days, regardless of fatigue or weather patterns. While curled up on the sofa this morning with my coffee and a book as dawn broke I read Deepak Chopra.

The Quote at the top of this post sums up so succinctly how I feel whenever I am out walking - no matter the weather, and gave me pause to reconsider my potential negativity about the lack of dry spells, not being able to get into the garden, hang laundry on the line or not have to stuff my walking shoes with paper upon returning each afternoon!

We are indeed so privileged to bare witness to Mother Nature, in all her glory, every single day. It grounds me, puts worries into perspective and helps me to regain my balance. Continuously.

Watching spring burst forth in new ways each day inspires me and lifts me - whether its spring blooms being battered again all odds by another deluge of fat rain drops or cherry blossom framed by a bright blue sky. It just slowly, determinedly and unquestionably keeps pushing forth.

Another event which instantaneously gave me a deep sense of perspective- as well as awe and wonder, was the Egyptian Exhibit the girls and I went to see. It is incredibly hard to get our heads round just how old these incredible relics are. That a civilization so great, so advanced, and so equally beautiful as it was brutal could have not only existed so many mind boggling years ago but that these treasures and snippets and staggering artifacts have survived to tell their tale and to be admired and viewed so many centuries- millennia- later. As we wander around a gallery with our smart phones and our high tech cars parked close by having enjoyed a coffee or a meal prepared in moments just prior to entering the museum.

What would these ancient people make of us. And what can we learn and take into our own lives from them- on a daily basis. I think what probably struck me the most was Patience. Those sandstone panels meticulously carved by hand, the glass jewelry would have been almost inconceivably labor intensive, the woven linen cloth and papyrus, ALL THINGS TAKE TIME.

We are so used to living in a rushed society, everything on schedule, everything a little frantic, everything with a little pressure and deadline or programmed.

Mother Nature, the Ancient Egyptians (and my own beautiful cats) have taught me valuable lessons this week. Cause to reflect. To step back, breathe. There is no need to rush as we do. We need to learn to savor. To pause, be in the moment. Be present. From these pauses we can learn and gain so much. They can restore nd inspire and rejuvenate and re align.

If its raining, leave the laundry that day, curl up with a cat, a blanket and a book, or embrace it and let it soak your skin with its freshness. If something is taking a long time from conception, that’s ok. Its probably with it in the end and in the journey is the lesson.

I am truly grateful for an unscheduled Saturday, where I can type this by an open window, and the rain pours down, and other than a few household tasks- that can wait if I choose to let them, the only two things on my own agenda today are to take a walk, and to curl up on the porch under the shelter with a cup of tea and a shortbread biscuit this afternoon.

The importance of community

Sun, 24 Sep 2023 23:35:00 GMT

I am fortunate enough to live in an area where although the houses tend to be rather spread out and each property enjoys a fairly large amount of land, the feeling of community and connection is strong.

This week I have been reflecting on how fortunate I am to be part of a caring community. I am so grateful to take a walk and invariably cross paths with people I know, or I am familiar with or just recognize from daily walks. It brings a sense of home, and contentment and belonging. I enjoy the routine and familiarity. Often recognizing that I see the same faces at certain times of the day- coinciding with their routine, be it tooting as they drive past, walking their dogs after work, taking in some fresh air, or walking to a particular destination at on the same schedule.

Its really the lifeblood of society. To care for one another, lookout for people, show respect and kindness for your neighbors, and put out love and positivity into the world, daily.

I have taken to trying not to pay too much attention to the news of late- national news is purely dominated by the forthcoming election and global news is pretty horrific and, frankly, doesn’t help my anxiety of to focus on my little bubble. I don’t mean to sound void of compassion or crass or ignorant, but, particularly at the moment while I am feeling somewhat stressed, tied and over whelmed, i need to hone my focus a little more centered around my home and my loved ones.

Its actually quite a pull to consciously step away from. I took a walk last Friday after a full week and towards the end of a long day, and on my usual loop I spotted the kereru swirling above the trees then, rather ungraciously - as they do, practically crash land in a tree overhead. It was then I noticed his/her partner was already in the branches already. As I reached for my camera movement caught my eye and there was another couple slightly further along the branch. It just struck me that these big graceful peaceful birds who mate for life, were quietly existing side by side, their habitat or territory shared agreeably. They roll with the changing seasons and what the weather beings us, they co habit and remain respectful, gentle giants. I’m sure society could learn an enormous amount from these creatures, we just have to pause enough to observe and reflect. The whoosh and swoop of their wings is such an incredibly peaceful sound to me.

I am currently sitting at my desk as the rain gently falls, having enjoyed a long walk through the bush tracks early with a dear friend, the cats came to inspect my writing and I think Albie has appointed himself editor in chief.

Its school holidays, we are home for a couple of weeks with a few commitments but no heavy schedule, the weather is flick flacking between very warm spring and teetering on wintery, and I am starting to feel the sense of calm and peace seep back in which has been lacking for the past few weeks as days grew fuller and longer in the leadup to the break.

Now I can feel the relief of the luxury of time. Some much needed rest, our own schedules, and simple pleasures like listening to the birds with my coffee at first light, taking walks whenever I feel like it, having the time and inclination to cook for pleasure and try new recipes, read mid afternoon if I wish to, and potter in the garden when there is a break in the rain. Not to mention the satisfaction and sense of accomplishment if I steadily tick off all those jobs we don’t usually have time to squeeze in on a busy working week.

Today, I am actually rather grateful for the rain, as it encourages more inside jobs, the luxuriousness of being cozy, and the soothing pitter patter as our backdrop.

Spring's warmth and promise

Sun, 17 Sep 2023 08:24:00 GMT

Two characteristics- or qualities, of my personality are that I really rather like the rain, in that I find as much joy and comfort in a wet day as a sunny one, and I am a true home body: Home is my ultimate sanctuary, happy place and most treasured spot.

Today, I was happy to not welcome yet more rain- as it has been so utterly relentless here for many many months, but to revel in the warmth of a true spring day. A spring day, at home, surrounded with my family - Husband, daughters, cats and Grannie (My mother), with no where we had to be or go to, no time constraints except our own appetites’ and daylight fading, and a pleasant list of garden jobs.

I cannot remember the last day that unfolded like that - perhaps last spring even, and it was such a huge treat.

The sun allowed enough warmth - with non of the typical southern hemisphere bite, to be the optimal temperature outside, the ground just dry enough to mow the lawns (Still a little boggy in places) the laundry dry on the line with the breeze, and coffee and cake- Almond Torte, baked fresh this morning, enjoyed on the patio in the shade during a little break in garden work.

This idyllic spring Sunday was even finished off with a butterfly lamb leg cooked on the BBQ , served with a fresh zesty salad and a friends amazing home made seeded sourdough…. and possibly there was another slice of torte too.

Tonight, after a welcome hot shower, I feel so happy and contented I can feel my chest expand with the joy of it, so I’m going to go and make a cup of my favorite peppermint tea, and curl up in my robe and savor the last moments of this perfect Sunday before a new week begins afresh tomorrow.

If every weekend could wrap up like this, every Monday would seem so much more do-able and less daunting. There’s most definitely a lesson in that. Often we are not able to fully control or shape our weekends in quite such a way, but when these gems come along, savor every moment and feel the life force course back in, filling you with the positivity , energy and restored vitality to go forth into the next few days.

Replenish and restore – and don't feel guilty about doing so

Sun, 10 Sep 2023 22:15:00 GMT

Last week was an especially hard, long week. It was both physically and mentally taxing. As I spoke about in my previous post, I knew this was in the calendar, I prepared as much as I was able to, and I tried to provide myself the snippets of respite I needed where possible. It also helped that the feeling of comradery with my colleagues was comforting and we buoyed each other along. No less tiring though!

At the end of this draining week, we enjoyed family dinner around the table for the first time since Sunday prior (all be it not a meal I’d prepared my self) and I took a long hot bath and we all watched a fun movie. It was perfect, just what we needed to wind down, spend a little time as a family and herald the weekend.

Despite the lingering fatigue in the morning, real proper bone tiredness I haven’t experienced in some time (intentionally), there was a feeling of accomplishment, rejuvenation, and new energy ready to burst forth.

My husband and I attended a wedding on the Saturday which was a treat in many respects- in a beautiful setting, we hadn’t been to a wedding in a long while, a lovely excuse to get really dressed up- fascinator, heels and all, and a wonderful uplift to see tow people of very different cultures, so in love and happy, and all their loved ones supporting them and surrounding them.

Sunday was the day i was truly waiting for in that I knew it could be shaped as i pleased to walk, potter, catch up with myself and have a much gentler home day. I took a long walk to the village to enjoy a coffee and then spent the day tidying, organizing and getting prepared for this brand new week. With a sense of excitement, a new fresh energy, and deep contentment that the crazy week that was, WAS, and I can embrace and flourish in my usual routines and habits and commitments this week while enjoying some much needed peace at home to gather my thoughts and complete the recharging and resting process. It’s all very well to have these intensely busy periods in out lives, indeed, we often are not able to avoid them entirely. But its vital, certainly for me and from what I’ve leaned about my self, to also map out some rest and down time after- and or before these periods. Knowing I had these few days to allow myself to unwind, pause and breathe helped keep the stress levels to a manageable level last week and keep me moving forward anticipating how delicious this would feel ; Home on a Monday, laundry whirring, I’m fresh out of the shower after my morning workout, with a gentle, pleasurable, to do list of various tasks and chores, before the family roll back in late afternoon, dumping school bags, kicking shoes off and professing they are starving!

Nature, as its wont to do, helped ground me yesterday on my walk and allow me to refocus for a new week. A beautiful, iridescent Tui was happy enjoying his nectar breakfast as I set out and was very comfortable with me in close proximity. and to see the trees with tight bright green buds ready to literally burst into spring with brand new energy amongst the magnificent pink magnolias which are in full dazzling glory already. You can FEEL the new energy being shared with you if you take a moment.

Listen to yourself- with out any guilt, know what energises you, and what drains you- and consciously balance them out and try to include more in your everydays that provided that energising quality. We cannot avoid things that drain us entirely, but we can do our best to fully engage with what lifts us. Give yourself that buffer if you are able to after a long and challenging week, make sure it’s a quiet weekend- or whatever kind of weekend that will propel you into the new week revitalised.

We sat outside enjoying early morning bird song in the fresh air as soon as we woke yesterday, and even had steak cooked in the BBQ last night- it really, truly must be spring.

Allowing yourself to listen to your own advice

Tue, 05 Sep 2023 00:13:00 GMT

The wind is buffeting though the open window I sit by and I am enjoying every gust bring freshness and clarity to my tired fuggy mind.

This week, happens to be an incredibly full few days, with many commitments and events over lapping, resulting in some careful planning, time keeping and organization. I am trying to really listen to myself if I were to be offering advise to a friend, to not sweat the small stuff and commit any more than in necessary on the one hand, but acknowledging what will make me feel more settled and able to cope on the other.

Balance

So, after a HUGE day yesterday of my husband catching an Early flight to Australia, coordinating work and school, a double length working day and vert wet windy weather, I allowed myself an hour of extra sleep this morning, (one of the best decisions yesterday was putting fresh linen sheets on our bed first thing in the morning, so that finally last night when I’d put the house to sleep, I climbed into a beautiful and welcoming newly made bed, snuggled down and lay for some time enjoying the lashing rain at the windows and the coziness inside. )

Early this morning, I took a long walk and treated my self to a coffee watching the world go by, got on top of the laundry and spritzed the bathrooms, and took a leisurely amount of time to get ready to head in to work later than usual as I wont be home until gone 8pm this evening again.

It kept me going yesterday knowing I had these few hours to my self today and I feel I can get back into it somewhat re charged and refreshed. I am grateful for the flexibility to do this and the sunny blustery morning I have had to myself.

A real tonic. And no, not a luxury, a necessity. It will enable me to cope and balance the ensuing business that is the next few days until I can rest properly again.

SO on that brief note, I am going to enjoy a few more quiet moments before setting off out the door, knowing the house is in order and my mind is quiet.

No doubt my bed will feel just as welcoming tonight too once I’m home and showered and ready for slumber.

Vitamin D... from the sky, not a bottle!

Sun, 27 Aug 2023 00:49:00 GMT

Its not yet official, but ’m saying it anyway. Spring is ready in the wings and waiting to burst forth!

Normally I celebrate and enjoy all the unique aspects of each season, but after our non- summer and exceptionally wet Autumn and winter, I AM READY!

All this week there have been little sights and sounds if you choose to look and tune in to mother nature- new buds, My iceberg rose on the front porch is boasting a few brand new delicate buds, baby lambs in the field by the dam, a different feel in the warmth of the sun- SUN! That’s a novelty at the moment here! Strawberries in the supermarket- admittedly from Australia but still, a glorious treat after many months without them.

This weekend I have managed to hang laundry on the line, and successfully dry it, I mowed the lawns a few days ago- although admittedly still very boggy, and, Joy of Joys, this morning I enjoyed my smoothie bowl breakfast al fresco and took utter delight in tilting my face to the sun as I listened to the bust sounds of the garden around me. Such a treat and a huge boost to mood and spirits.

I feel a complete contrast emotionally to this time last week when I was openly in a fug.

Its also especially nice we have a spring wedding to look forward to in a couple of weeks - its been years since we’ve been to a wedding and its been rather exciting to think about, research and purchase new outfits for us both too! Nothing like a bit of shallow, consumerist retail therapy to give you an endorphin rush! But at least this one is justified and necessary! And my husband looks so handsome and dashing in his new suit. swoon.

Its been a good week of less rain, consciously consuming less refined sugar and processed foods and really concentrating on nourishing my body. I feel energized and positive again, and this glimmer of spring and warmer longer days on the horizon certainly helps!

I have a very full couple of weeks ahead of me so today I have tackled all the jobs that are required for the smooth running of the new week, and also made absolutely sure to pause and take moments of rest and reflection. Anything non urgent or that can wait or that if I leave wont niggle at me too much can wait, so that I may conserve my energy somewhat and enjoy some rest before it all kicks off.

I made sure the laundry and ironing were all up to date, fresh baking and lunch box fillers all prepared, fridge and pantry well stocked and a clear meal plan on the chalk board, bathrooms clean, floors vacuumed and the house picked up. Its not shiny perfect, or showroom standard, but its absolutely adequate and the balance is my mental calm and happiness.

Sometimes- I have learned the hard way, what you DONT do can be as important as what you Do DO.

This afternoon I’m looking forward to taking a walk in nature, serving dinner up early and taking a long hot bubble bath before climbing into bed for a luxuriously early night, knowing everything is as organized and prepared as it can be.

Bonne Semaine!

The struggle to maintain momentum

Mon, 21 Aug 2023 08:29:00 GMT

It’s hard to admit - even to one’s self, when you feel yourself loosing momentum; letting things slip- just a little at first, and having those familiar battles with yourself in your head- berating yourself while trying to simultaneously give your self a pep talk, punishing yourself while craving the rewards.

I think this is natural. And we all ebb and flo.

This week I’ve found myself not only outwardly feeling a bit ugh but inwardly too. But it’s taken me several days to fully recognise and acknowledge what was happening. In all honesty I think it’s a giant melting pot of all sorts of things- none serious, most circumstantial, and ALL rectifiable- yes ALL.

Mindset -and a healthy one -is a huge untapped resource. While none of us have the power to change someone else’s thinking or possibly unforeseen circumstances- we all have the power to change our thought. Our mind set. Our attitude.

Nothing “ bad “ had happened- a few moments of frustration- silly things that culminated in a snappy mummy and wify. I’m tired, and acutely aware of my health having only just bounced back from my sinus infection. But I allowed them to snowball- I let them take up space in my head and even labeled them (thank you hormones!) No more. Tomorrow I will bounce.

So that’s me. Brief post this week- late due to aforementioned slump. But I’m taking back the reins. I’m going to soak the last few whoopsies away in a hot bath, ponder my boundaries , my needs, and listen to my thoughts and make a plan of how the next few days and weeks will look, get an early night, and wake up to a brand new day. A positive attitude, and an appreciation for all the wondrous blessings I am so grateful to have wrapped around me.

Spring is desperately trying to push its way through the ceaseless rain and despite my glum outlook, little rays of joy have pieces my foggy headspace with their simplicity, their promise, and their warmth and magic. It’s always there, sometimes you just have to look a little harder to remind yourself 💕 and sometimes we all need a little reminder to do so.

PS see below

So a little update, on a much more positive note:

After soaking in the bath and working on intentionally resetting my mindset for the following day, I stepped out side in my cosy robe with a cools glass of water and took a few deep breaths looking at the starts and feeling the presence of the universe. (starry nights have been few and far between of late due to relentless cloud cover and rain!)

I enjoyed a restorative sleep in lovely fresh clean bed linens (My favorite!) and amazingly I woke feeling like a different person- enthused, excited for the day, positive and focused.

The sun is shining and streaming in to the house, the spring blooms are bursting forth, I had a great workout and have already ticked several things off my list. The family left in good spirits and on time for their days of school and work and no I’m heading to the spa for a facial.

Suddenly, with a little positive pep talk and some sunshine, life is a whole lot more enjoyable today and I am so very grateful.

Rest when you least expect it

Fri, 11 Aug 2023 00:36:00 GMT

Much of what I write about, and a good deal of my thoughts throughout the day are consciously observing and taking pleasure in what is already around us, what we have so much to be grateful for, and why being in the present moment is so vital for mental wellbeing, happiness and true contentment. I frequently feel moments of true exuberance and giddiness over the simplest of pleasures- regularly 8(probably daily!)while out walking- observing nature- a bloom or a bird, or the aesthetic of a well constructed evening meal, the scent of the first cracking of a freshly lit fire, climbing into just laundered bed linens, or sinking into a hot bath. These are things I am truly grateful for and make a point to savor and enjoy them.

This week, since returning from our wonderful break in the mountains, I have had to slow down. At first I was frustrated, infuriated even, as I don’t enjoy my routine or plans or productivity to be changed or adversely effected. I came down with a fairly nasty sinus infection, meaning I had to stay home from work, but also wasn’t well enough to be my usual busy bee about home- usually even when I’m sick.

And during these few days I have, in actuality, been so fortunate. It has made me genuinelyslow down and prioritize, as I simply haven’t been capable of doing it “all”. Friends, family and colleagues have reached out to check in and sent thoughtful messages, even a beautiful surprise delivery of some sunshine yellow fragrant freesias. And I’m not desperately ill. I’ll get over it. Its a seasonal unfortunate bug but that’s all. A dear friend is suffering with a much more unpleasant health concern where as I’m truly grateful that the medication prescribed by my Doctor is already taking effect.

I DO take time to notice things each and every day, but in this slowness, I’ve not only taken the time but lingered for may moments after too- not racing to get to the next thing on my list or achieve something within a (usually self imposed) time frame. Just now I watched a bee for some time as it navigated the open window I’m sitting at and explored. I just watched. not glanced and acknowledged but really observed and took a moment.

I woke late this morning- far, far later than usual and clearly from a very deep and much needed sleep as I hadn’t even stirred at the sounds of the rest of the household getting up and ready for their day. I stayed in bed watching the tress for a while longer, then padded down stairs when they’d left to make coffee and have a large drink of water, then I found a patch of sunshine on the sofa, and subsequently the cat found me- and the warm sun, and we just sat. Sipping coffee, enjoying the warmth, slowly waking up to the new day, and I felt so calmed and content listening to bird song and her deep affectionate rumble of a purr. (For such a little petite little girl she has a monumental purr!)

Although I’m feeling much better, I’m consciously taking it very easy. I have the house to myself entirely (Well, the cats and I) until early evening, and with it being Friday no sense of urgency looming about tomorrow. Its so easy to feel that if om not busy busy busy I’m being lazy or not making good use of my time. BUT these past few days have taught me a lot.

I like to, and enjoy, my daily exercise- and think it good to push myself when I’m on form. I like to start my days early and feel accomplished and almost always better for a run or some kind of movement or workout first thing. But, for the first time in a long time, I have realized that in the bigger scheme of things, allowing my body to focus on fighting this bug and on healing, I don’t need to feel guilty about gently starting my day, later and with a stretch and a shower not a demanding workout. I will get back into that routine in good time. But for now, for the next day or so, this is what’s best. I am still managing to go for a walk each day- slower and less challenging that usual, but movement and fresh air and thinking time never the less.

Taking an hour or so after lunch or mid afternoon to read in a cosy spot- ITS OK! In fact, its not just good its NECESSARY at this point.

Coming in from a walk and taking a long drink of refreshing water and sitting down for a time- all new to me as I usually start straight in to the next task. This doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy and appreciate every bit of my walks usually, but taking the time to pause, consciously, between each activity or task is really rather new to me and incredibly beneficial and important.

I’ve allowed my mind to ponder and dream about a few things and how I’d like a day to look for me in a few years time when I can be home, writing, on my own schedule.

I’ve been able to give thought to the coming years, goals, dreams and plans- and picture them more clearly in my head as well and starting to form plans to take me in the direction I wish to travel.

I have become consciously more grateful and thankful of the wonderous abundance that is life- and health. And a new spark of determination to treasure and nurture this one body- health is everything. Mind and body. And to do the same for my loved ones too so that we may all enjoy what we have been graciously given for many many healthy happy years to come.

These little bumps are sent to make us re evaluate, pause and take stock. And I’m grateful I was just sick enough to see this, observe it, and prepare to take action with small changes, gentle rest and big ideas.

Now while there seems to be a pause in the clouds, I’m going to take a walk before a nourishing lunch and a rest with my book. Hopefully with some furry company too.

Soul food; mountains, lakes and gastronomic delights

Mon, 07 Aug 2023 08:12:00 GMT

My Heart and soul feel abundantly full; the most glorious few days in the mountains, beside the icy clear lake and dramatic scenery amongst friends and family - days peppered with adventure, tranquility, exhilarating activities and peaceful rest, spectacular food, and local produce.

I dearly wanted to stay, day dreamed about relocating, imagined how life would be, drank it all in- every last moment and savored savored savored.

However, returning late last night to a warm cosy home, all the lamps lit, the cats curled up in front of the fire and everything neat and tidy, was a welcome treat too. On a beach walk locally this afternoon I had to remind myself that although the southern Alps are very very special, where we choose to live our life in this chapter, is pretty darn special too.

Unfortunately I was sick for the time we were away with a heavy cold, but knowing our time was limited I refused to be dulled by it entirely. My lake side morning and afternoon walks were magically restorative, energizing and the perfect tonic to boost me for the coming day of adventuring or evening of fine dining and socializing. The air is so different, so dry and arid with its iciness. and the light, oooh the light. Words cannot convey the special quality it possesses.

The joy of watching my girls hurl snow balls and shrieking with laughter and the shock of the icy blow was wonderful. Pottering around little local boutiques with locally produced merino goods and delectable foodie treats, then pausing for a coffee and a nibble. The conviviality of being there in such a big group was such fun and made evenings a real event.

One particular evening was extra special at an incredible restaurant specializing in locally sourced fare. I enjoyed a very wild pallet that night- with venison, local mushrooms, hare and lamb all from within a few kilometers of where we sat by a roaring open fire, on plush seating, with attentive wait staff, surrounded by deep burgundy walls and cosy from the chill outside.

But with all that said, the feeling I got as I walked through the pines and redwoods along the lake in the less busy pathways, passing the odd walker and a dog, was what truly fed and filled my soul. I felt my lungs expand in a way that they haven’t for many months and my mind quieten. Incredibly precious.

And while this morning I would dearly loved to have been donning my fleecy leggings, thermals and cashmere hat to have a walk along the water as the pink dawn broke, rather than packing lunches and starting the mountain of laundry that comes hand in hand with a family trip away, I was fortunate enough to have today as breathing space, and to take a walk this afternoon in sunshine on a very quite local beach nd though the bush tracks. very privileged indeed.

We can find beauty and tranquility where we choose to see it.

As I’m still feeling under the weather I am also very grateful to have this buffer day before returning to work to recoup, and get re set and organized. I highly recommend taking- if you can- a day either side of a trip to organize and pack and leave your home as you’d wish to find it on your return, and then afterwards to savor your experiences and re group and do the practical things that a are necessary for a stress free reentry into your “every day”.

For this evening, I am really rather excited at the prospect of a large cup of peppermint tea and climbing into bed early to start a new book as I finished my last on the flight home last night.

Some ‘spring-ness’ I picked up at the florist today which divided up around the house to add a little beauty and cheer and some eucalyptus leaves in various vessels also dotted about our home bringing with them their fresh fragrance and uplifting qualities.

Home is where the heart is.

Savoring Sunlight

Mon, 31 Jul 2023 09:08:00 GMT

I like to think I take pause and observe the everyday, every day. This week I have been wonderfully reminded to do so even more as the glorious sunshine has finally decided to break through the rain clouds for more than the briefest of moments. The feeling of it kissing my shin and warming my face as I lifted it to its rays was just wonderful. the warmth was surprising even as the day started so cold and I was wrapped up in many layers while the sun was still low in the sky and working hard to burn off the mist and fog. By late afternoon it was positively spring like! Quite, quite marvelous!

After many months of no one day being completely dry and far more often than not, very wet indeed, the luxury of being able to go for an afternoon walk with no umbrella, no rain coat and bright blue skies- even returning home with dry toes was quite a treat! I savored every moment and appreciated it all the more.

It’s encouraged me to start thinking about spring being round the corner, and mentally planning the garden jobs I’m looking forward to getting into- planting, tidying and enjoying watching d=spring spring into life. Amazingly, despite the rain and cols the planters on the deck I planted with spring bulbs have already bloomed- the hyacinth’s, sadly, have already been and gone and I wasn’t able to fully enjoy them as was hardly able to be out of doors much less relaxing on the deck with coffee. I did, however, snip a lone Jonquil- Earlicheer, which I placed in a bud vase on my bedside cabinet- that tiny little rain washed bloom is scenting our entire primary bedroom with is distinctive fragrance. It stops me in my stride if I walk up stairs with clean laundry, or to take my shower- just to take a moment to breath in the scent and appreciate all the nature has miraculously produced from the bulb I planted a few short months ago.

That analogy can perhaps be applied to our lives, allowing things to take time, having patience AND faith , run their natural course. A seemingly wizened brown papery bulb, laid in damp dark soil, and then a determined green shoot, reaching for the light, growing and strengthening each day, until a bud form and finally bursts forth in all its scented, colorful springtime glory.

And suddenly its August….

A huge treat this weekend, lakeside dinner at a fabulous French restaurant and an Agatha Christie play at the theatre. Moments to savor indeed.

Finding renewed motivation, inspiration and strength

Sat, 22 Jul 2023 06:37:00 GMT

In order to be in the presence of mind to allow ourselves to savor and enjoy daily pleasures, we sometimes (Frequently) need to step back a little and observe ourselves then reset and adjust so that we may continue on our chosen paths.

This week has raced by in the blurry start of a new term and slotting back in to a more demanding schedule. While I began the week with all the best intentions to continue my rather more Zen attitude and not get fraught about minor bumps and mishaps, it didn’t take me long to resume, un wittingly, some old habits and thought patterns.

My determination to:

Focus on positives, and be truly grateful ALL the time

Be acutely aware of my thoughts and intentional manifestations

Eat clean- and more balanced diet with less “treats”

Throw myself more sincerely into my exercise regimen

Write and read more

Take time for tea and rest, prioritize sleep and be ok with pausing through the day to recuperate

All rather too swiftly seemed to take a bit of a back seat as the swirl and hustle of daily family life pushed its way to the forefront. I didn’t forget them, but would have to keep reminding my self of them, sometimes rather guiltily.

Sometimes we just need to look in a slightly new direction to regain that spark on inspiration and drive and then we are off again. Such was my feeling today. It helped it was the weekend and I love waking up on a Saturday morning with the weekend stretching out ahead of me, and time on my side.

One of the “tools” I implemented today - on the back of realizing many poor food choices this week have been brought on by being over tired and too hungry by the time lunch/dinner rolled round- was to prep lots of nutritious salad and vegetables to throw into salads through the week. I diced, grated and chopped capsicum, radish, lettuce, cucumber, carrot, and stewed some home grown rhubarb for breakfast or desert treats. To know its all there within reach ready to go in the fridge feels healthier already and I feel so organized and re motivated because of it.

The other thing I’m actively working on is giving myself breathing and brain space to write and decide and mull over what I want to write about. Sometimes life gets so jolly busy and I find my brain just frantically listing all the things I have to do I feel there’s no space left for creativity or reflection- and that’s a pretty slithery slope. Its so important to make time for these things we hold dear and value without them becoming a chore or evoking feelings of guilt, anxiety and inadequacy.

I so want to write more and more- as well as devour books, but the reality is, practicality mid winter as we are- I’m shattered by 8pm, and all I can manage is to clear up the kitchen, take a shower or bath and re set for the next day, snatching a few minutes in bed to read before my eyes droop and the alarm abruptly wakes me at 5am.

So we also need to afford ourselves some grace. The feeling of accomplishment and renewed determination from preparing those vegetables, taking a fresh walk, and knowing I have managed most of what was on my to do list today has left me excited for the healthy dinner I have prepared and looking forward to snuggling up later in my beautiful linen sheets to enjoy my book for a while longer than I manage on a school night. And that’s enough. That’s ok for today. That’s what I needed.

Its helped enormously this week to buddy with another friend on her health and wellness journey and to hold each other accountable as well as support one another. Its also great comfort that we all have days it doesn’t quite go to plan, we cave and eat that biscuit- or 3, but the important bit is to move forward. Learn but don’t dwell. Progress not perfection.

I also felt strongly on my walk my desire and sincere urge to want to WRITE. I hold tight to my vision, my dream, of working from home, rising early and writing in the peace of a sleeping household while in my robe with coffee, taking my dog for a walk (I don’t actually have one yet but its a lifelong dream to have my own pooch) , coming home to write a bit more, do some chores, prepare nutritious food and spend quality time with my family when they all come piling through the door. One day this will all be so. But for the time being, I need to keep my vision alive, stay motivated, keep feeling excited about the future, without wishing away the present, as this, each moment, the every days, are the equally important path to get there. LIFE

I can look forward to a long walk in nature early tomorrow with a dear friend and her pooch- I can borrow the feeling of being a dog owner for a couple of hours.

Be Present

Sat, 15 Jul 2023 05:58:00 GMT

I am not a big Instagram (or any other social media) Scroller, but this little gem popped up on my feed yesterday and it really spoke to me. Not the statistics- as I imagine they are questionable, but the sentiment. And this applies if you have children, grandchildren, fur babies, a spouse or partner or live alone.

This week I am the very proud Mama of a 16 year old, who has blossomed into a new found independence and maturity - seemingly over night, with the acquisition of a car, a learners license, and a job all in the space of a week!

My Baby Girl. Where have the years vanished?

This precious little dot is growing into a strident confident young woman. And it serves to remind me that all things change, in some way or another, things develop, progress, mature, pass, and if we are too busy with life- we miss it. Nothing ever remains truly the same.

And we can apply, and should apply this to every element of our daily lives. The seasons, the weather, our homes, our gardens, our travel, our relationships. If we are too bust looking forward, searching the next thing, the item we need, the person we long for, the perfect…. (insert whatever it might be for you) We miss all the wonderous things that are right there in front of us now, today.

We may not enjoy the wintry months, but we can enjoy pockets of what they uniquely provide and allow- cosy fires, twinkling lights, crisp frosty mornings, comforting stews and casseroles, warm scones, seasonal vegetables, our pets indoors more enjoying the warmth, feather duvets, warm throw blankets, skiing, - all of those magical things, those elements you do enjoy, even if perhaps sleet and windy train stations are not on your list, embrace and enjoy those you do love, and that do make that part of the year, season, week , special to you. That bring joy- even on a small level. These elements are not present in the other warmer months, those are what make you appreciate the warm sun, the spring bulbs, the longer days, the fresh asparagus, the sparkling sea, all the more. So don’t wish them away.

Countless times when my girls were very young I was told “It’ll go so fast”, “Blink and you’ll miss it”, “you wait, they’ll be teens soon” , “ They’ll be into your shoes and makeup in no time”….. They were right. They were so very right, and wise. For all those bathtimes where I was on my knees I was so exhausted, all those broken nights sleep, all those clean ups of under the high chair and sticky fingers, all those bedtime stories, all those post bath snuggles, little visitors climbing into bed at the crack of dawn for a story- I should have savored them more. I should have rushed them less.

We are in a new chapter now where most evenings I am the first in bed (Often shortly followed by my husband) and then we are visited by one then they other, sometimes with a cat or two in tow, sometimes the whole family are on the bed while I try to read, and while I very much may want to finish that chapter, turn out my light, get an extra half hours sleep as tomorrows a busy day: one day, I know, I’ll find I wont have visitors, they’ll be busy out with friends, at university, or reading stories to their own cosy bundles.

While we are in the depths of winter here in the Southern Hemisphere- and even I am getting a little tired of the persistent rain and soggy, un mow-able garden -on the other side of the world a lack of rain and searing temperatures keep me in check, remind me that our summer is coming, but the beauty and comfort of winter is here now, to enjoy, and savor.

My walk today took me past my sheep friends and down a track where the long fallen autumn leaves were still so vibrant in colour, set off even more by such a dark gloomy day, yet Autumn is long behind us, it reminds us that these seasons, and these years, speed by. We need to remember to pause, savor and be present before they’ve gone, again.

Cheap Thrills

Fri, 07 Jul 2023 19:48:00 GMT

Its been a very mixed bag of a week! My beloved Hubby returned from 3 weeks in the UK on Monday, which is absolutely marvelous. Gosh I missed him. So a very early pre dawn up and out to the airport where I sat in my big woolen double breasted coat nursing a (Very average) coffee until his familiar bags appeared on the trolley before him through the sliding doors.

The week took off from there really with juggling a jet lagged husband and on Tuesday taking our eldest to training for a new job across tow. Except we didn’t quite get there- for the first time in my life we got a flat tyre. Not just a puncture but completely and utterly pancaked. We pulled over- possibly later than would be ideal when driving on that much of a flat (!) and after establishing how bad it was we limped to a nearby garage. While the day involved ALOT of waiting around and clearly unfolded nothing like I’d planned or anticipated, even during our mini crisis I was able to feel gratitude for all the things that did go right and the way it all came together and people kind people who were willing to help. Daddy came to the rescue immediately and despite having pretty much just arrived at his office, came straight back to collect our daughter so that she was still able to get to her job- if a few minutes late.

By chance, there was one of our favorite cafes a stones throw form where my immobilized car was parked, so somewhere warm to sit and decent coffee (and a bathroom!) as I waited for the tow truck my husband had organized. On returning to my car to wait for the truck when I knew it was immanent, a thoughtful member of the public had left me a note on my windscreen to let me know about the tyre incase I hadn’t seen and tried to drive away - damaging the wheel in the process. So simple but heartwarming that someone took the time out of their day for no gain whatsoever other than to look out for another’s well being.

Anyway, a tow truck, a tyre center, and Uber and a lift back to collect my car later- yes the day hadn’t panned out even remotely how I’d planned, my to do list looked exactly as it did at 6.30am, but I was safely home, with my car on the drive with two shiny new tyres. I was so very grateful and appreciative of all the little things that transpired to what prevented it from being a far more stressful and horrible day- Hot coffee, kind people, wintry sunshine, and a husband and Mother who sprung into action to help. Even my daughter -who could have added to the stress by fretting about being late to a new job (as, frankly, I certainly would have) kept calm throughout. I came home too late to really enjoy a walk and fresh air before dark, so I took the opportunity for a pot of tea and a slice of grannies delicious lemon cake!

A day or so later, having been inspired by a podcast on spring cleaning and home organization, I felt the urge to tackle a kitchen cupboard which has been bothering me for some time- if I’m really honest , possibly since we moved into the house over 3 years ago, when it al just got unpacked and put away.

I took all the pots, pans, skillets, Dutch ovens, colanders and pot lids out and put them on the bench. I wanted to clean out the cupboard itself and assess anything I didn’t really use or was juts being stored and no longer useful. Half way through this process my youngest daughter decided to join me, so between us we emptied, cleaned, sorted and edited the pot cupboard and the drawers and cupboards I keep casserole dishes, all bakeware and all mixing bowls etc in.

For a little while the Kitchen and Kitchen table was in chaos with every inch covered, but then it started to clear, the box of donations grew, the cupboards and drawers were refilled in a methodical, logical manner with only what I require and use, and our sense of satisfaction and achievement grew.

Once it was all reorganized and the Kitchen was neat and tidy again, I went for a slightly damp walk (The rain is utterly relentless this winter) and my sense of accomplishment was palpable!

Upon my return as the twilight fell, I began to prepare dinner and it felt such a luxury and so completely satisfying to be using my newly organized storage. I was literally smiling and savoring the simple act of reaching for a pot! It felt like such a makeover, I was as pleased as I would have been - almost- with a kitchen remodel! It made preparing dinner that night such a pleasure- and emptying the dishwasher afterwards, and has inspired me to keep going - the buzz is infectious and I cant wait to tackle some more organization these school holidays so that the start of the new term can feel calm, organized and ready for anything.

This feeling, this beautifully organized kitchen, this sense of drive and enthusiasm for a “spring” clean, comes at no other cost than my time, its completely free, and yet the gain is priceless! Cheap thrills indeed. I highly recommend it! Once you get stuck in and reap the rewards from just a simple 5 minute drawer organization even, it becomes infectious. I now have a beautifully organized bathroom vanity drawer, and an edited wardrobe and am exciting to get going today and enjoy the feeling later.

My long awaited Harney & sons tea arrived within moments of my beautiful Brown Betty teapot in Cobalt blue I’d ordered on Wednesday afternoon, so I took that as an absolute cue to sit down and savor a cuppa with my book on the sofa for a few quiet moments. It was so hood I did it again the following day and added some toast (Vogels for the Kiwis) and jam with dripping butter, No that doesn’t quite fit in with my health and wellness goals but boy, it was such a yummy treat! With a crackling fire, an Emma Bridgewater tray loaded with scrumptious deliciousness and my brown betty sitting happily, I couldn’t have felt much happier in that moment.

Such simple, precious moments to savor

Fri, 30 Jun 2023 20:00:00 GMT

It has been a week of wild wet weather here, but through the downpours and busyness of the end of term full life, I have gratefully enjoyed moments of quiet and of beauty and of company.

The fatigue and end-of-term-itis set in in earnest this week, both for the girls and I and for their friends and my colleagues. The short days, wintry weather and power cuts all added to the driving force to make it to Friday!

I happily have managed to get out for a walk reach day- some requiring more paper to be stuffed into my shoes than others, and have organized my self in such a way as to ensure fire wood is brought up before dark, candles are to hand or burning already filling the room with gentle fragrance, and meals chosen and planned that can be adapted if I suddenly find myself with no oven and just the gas hob to cook on. So far we’ve actually been very fortunate and although the local area has had some lengthy power outages, we so far seem to have skirted it.

Usually, once a week, I walk with some other mothers from our daughters Ballet School while the girls have their lesson, but the weather was such this week we went to a local restaurant and enjoyed hot chocolates, peppermint tea, a shared decadent dessert and a good laugh and a catch up. It felt like such a treat!

This morning felt extra special as I woke early- later than a week day but still before dawn, and I snuggled in bed watching the silhouettes of the trees blowing in the still gusty winds, relishing not only the delicious feeling of the school holidays stretching ahead and also just a few more hours- 2 more sleeps (!) till my husband comes home.

I’m now typing with a coffee beside me, listening to a beautiful black bird greet the day. The cats are fed and snuggled and have ventured into the cold to begin their day and all the adventures it holds.

My mother is joining us for fireside dinner tonight, with a firm favorite on the menu - a slow cooked lamb leg in its own ragout over macaroni, which I’ll serve with a big fresh green salad. Its a delicious recipe which I’ll leave below.

I feel I have the space to breathe today, knowing the Monday isn’t a school day and we have a couple of weeks to reset, restore and recharge, makes all the difference to this. No niggle of what needs doing by Sunday night in the same capacity as term time, and a pleasant weekend ahead to enjoy.

Its been a full and eventful week with lots of exciting plans and trips on the horizon- life seemed to fall into place- but not by accident. I was highly aware and conscious of the power of positive thinking and having complete and utter faith in the universe. It would all be alright.

This sentiment dwindled rapidly but momentarily late last night when a bedtime call came though from my husband explaining a complication with his visa travelling back though the USA that potentially could mean serval days delay(or more) to his return - not to mention expense. Suddenly the good, warm positive feeling drained and I allowed my self to deflate and - just briefly- sink into a real puddle of negativity.

After reading but not reading the page on my kindle several times over, I turned out the light and focused all my attention on vividly imagining him opening an email informing him the visa was granted in time for travel, and then playing out the ensuing conversation in my head. I switched my mind back to positive and BELIEVED it would all be ok. As took a few deep long breathes with my eyes closed preparing for sleep I was suddenly aware of my older daughter calling my name standing in the doorway (I wear earplugs!) She just said very simply, with a big smile, “He’s got his visa, he’s coming home.” The relief lifted off us both tangibly. A flurry of texts later and I fell into a deep slumber until not very long ago.

“ ….a thought in this substance produces the thing that is imagined by thought. Man can form things in his thought, and by impressing his thought upon formless substance can cause the thing he thinks about to be created.” Wallace D Wattles

Its true.

I am so looking for ward to Monday and keep picturing re uniting with my husband at the airport after his very long arduous journey home to us.

But for now, a peachy glow has developed in the sky, my coffee is finished, and I’m going to put a load of laundry on and get ready for the day.

Prepared, grateful, calm and with a glow in the pit of my stomach that everything is working out just perfectly, just the way the universe intended for me, and the luxury of extra time to appreciate and acknowledge it.

How very, very fortunate.

Home comforts

Sat, 24 Jun 2023 20:21:00 GMT

I’ve been reading and listening to Rhonda Byrne lately. (author of The Secret ) I discovered her properly fairly recently having been aware of her books and I think even purchasing “the secret” or getting it from the library years ago and never quite reading it. I wont go too much into the premise - that’s for you to discover if you haven’t already, but suffice to say it really resonated with me and I’ve been intentionally and regularly applying the principals it to my daily life- I listened to it during the course of several walks on Audiobook with her narrating it. And now when I feel a need a little encouragement to get me back on track and positive, and to remind be of the key principals and values I listen to bits again or find an interview to re focus me.

Its played a significant part while my husband has been overseas in keeping me positive, keeping my thoughts with him and in consciously manifesting his safe return and our gentle life here at home in the meantime. I found its really helped. But yesterday it was more than that. It proved itself.

It was Saturday, and the girls and I had planned to drive across town to the City’s Aquarium as we had some expired vouchers for an experience we had purchased mid Pandemic. Its notoriously busy, lengthy queues- even the parking, and we had set off later than planned. however, I was looking forward to this trip out with my daughters and Brunch/lunch afterwards as a treat by the water, and I was imagining it all going smoothly and picturing the scenario where the vouchers were honored and it was a stress-free experience. I was doing my best to Manifest it all.

In brief- we arrived, parked almost outside, not a single person queueing- not one!- we walked straight to the counter, in minutes not only were the vouches extended happily, we were offered complimentary passes for that day and invited to go though and enjoy the exhibits! The girls eyes were on stalks, they couldn’t believe their luck. I had a tummy turner moment as I realized I COULD believe my luck. It wasn’t LUCK it was the universe.

After a brief but fun visit, we went on to sit in a sundrenched restaurant for a girlie lunch- again parking right where we wanted to. To top it all off on the way home we called into the nearest supermarket for a few bits (Which years ago was our local when we lived that way pre children). Within the shopping complex is a home wares store which happened to have the exact kind of indoor watering can I’d been wanting - I was beyond thrilled.

The lovely thing was, despite such a wonderful excursion, we were all three of us just as excited to get back to our home, to enjoy being quiet and cosy and pottering in our own space and recharging after all the excitement and stimulation of our Saturday.

It gave me such a sense of peace and contentment to know they felt the same and were so relaxed and appreciative of their sanctuary too. I am such a home body and as a family we sometimes marvel at friends who seem to be always on the go and have so little time just HOME, that it was really heartwarming to feel us all melt and decompress as we arrived back over the threshold of our peaceful home.

We all felt truly content- and rather delighted- with how the day had panned out, and so completely grateful we had our own precious 4 walls to return to.

This morning I would usually have been out walking, but for various reasons plans changed, so I’m sat typing with a coffee, as the birds enthusiastically greet the new day outside, the cats explore the garden in the gentle rain and it’s its delights, and the girls slumber on peacefully.

The universe is wise and knew that I needed this quite time, and I am incredibly grateful to it.

Present: A gift

Sat, 17 Jun 2023 22:22:00 GMT

It has been a most unusual week. Nothing has been ordinary or routine, and while rather emotional and a little drained, I’ve welcomed the challenge its provided me. To remain grateful, happy, contented and most of all present.

Several things occurred this week from sick children, to injuries, surgical procedures, and a long distance separation for a trip. But these were sprinkled with gentle moments, hugs, walks, warming toes by the crackling fire, kind messages, offers of help, delicious food and cozy wintry weather- as a contrast the the warm Fiji sun of the week prior.

Time apart from a loved one, with thousands of kilometers and oceans between us, can leave us in a state of limbo, or with an attitude to just get through it and inherently wish the days away until their safe return.

While the goodbyes were hard, and I’m missing my husband desperately, I am also looking at this as an opportunity to grow, to strengthen, to have a different experience with my girls, and to mindfully remain present. To see this as a gift. Not only for him to spend much needed time with family, but for me to explore and broaden my mind, attitude, skills and independence. To appreciate each wintry day a new.

Now our daughters are older they are much more independent, allowing me to continue to take early morning walks while they slumber, or run errands- as opposed to when they were younger and needed looking after in a different way.

“Do not dwell on the past. Do not dream of the future. Concentrate the mind only on the present moment”

And while I picture greeting my husband again, and with my positive thoughts manifest his safe return, I am also treating these days as unique gifts- as every day should be, but we do sometimes forget and get caught in the hum drum of daily life, to dos, routine. We also - even unconsciously- may take our closest family for granted as they are ALWAYS there. There is much to be said for the saying absence makes the heart grow fonder. We have rarely spent time apart through our marriage and relationship, but each time we do I fall in love all over again.

We are enjoying meals that I wouldn’t necessarily prepare for his tastes, I only have to make half the bed in the mornings as I’m a very peaceful sleeper (!) and I’m enjoying a unique bonding experience with our girls and a change of pace and routine. While more responsibility and burden lies with me, I am choosing to embrace it and enjoy each day. The crackling fire, the cozy kitties warming their paws in front of it and a 1/4 less laundry is all part of the package!

On the morning of the day he flew, I was retrieving the wintry sun dried towels off the washing line, and was aware of a fantail tweeting. I notice she is darting about above me, and I see, catching the light, she’s chasing a small blue butterfly- lunch? She’s flitting about high up over the roof and continuously calling and narrowly missing catching him until finally she does, and flitters away with her pretty tail on display. A privileged moment as a stood smiling with the laundry basket on my hip, smiling as I gazed upwards, A sign from the universe, a calm took over me. It was all meant to be. It was all going to be just fine.

And here I am, on a cold wintry morning with watery sun trying to make its way through the mist. A beautiful walk at first light with a lovely friend and her pooch and 2 cats greeted me warmly on my return.

Some housework, laundry, a few errands, then maybe a trip to the movies as a treat later.

But first. Coffee

Contentment is the greatest wealth

Mon, 12 Jun 2023 07:45:00 GMT

I’ve been quiet for a week or so as we have been over seas. I intended to write from there but due to internet connection and various technical issues it made it too difficult for a technophobe like myself!

However, I decided to embrace the enforced technology down time and just enjoy the present.

We were fortunate enough to be in glorious tropical Fiji, one of our most favorite places and somewhere very dear to our hearts as a family. This time, it was just my husband and I.

I normally devour books when we are away, as there are no other real pressures or time constraints. I read less this time, but I did spend some very rare and much needed quality time with my beloved, and myself. Just to be. To bask in the sun, listen to the splashes of the pool and the waves, the exotic birds and wild life, observe the dazzling seascapes, sunsets, dawns and flora and fauna. To fully and completely stop and recharge.

I came across a few poignant quotes which I jotted down too, like the title of this blog post.

The irony is not lost on me that while indulging in a luxurious tropical holiday I found and observed the very essence of contentment and great riches -among the marble tiles and fluffy bathrobes- with the people, their way of life, their positivity and infectious smiles.

We spoke of the pandemic, and how it had forced Fijians to return to their villages, to work the land again, re unite with family- (their own young children often brought up by grandparents while they work away for weeks at a time with only a few days or hours home before returning to work) to fish, to provide, to slow the pace and to go back to the old ways before tourism exploded.

We took a walk one morning over to the “Hidden Beach” it was early but already the heat of the day was getting up. As we crested the hill on the island the hum of the resort fell silent and the mud track led us to what we thought was a wrong turn; A Fijian farmer with his young son and bouncy puppy were quietly working on their crops of taro. When he assured us we were in the right place with such warmth we were welcomed to explore the most pristine, picture book white sand beach I have ever set foot on. The family were in the shade on a rough wooden sleeping platform - Mother, grandmother, young babies. A small vessel pulled up onto the foliage that reached onto the dunes. They explained their village is on the opposite island- one of very few left as untouched villages with no tourism. They come over to work their patch of land for a few days a month then return to their village over the waves.

The contrast between the resort side of the island and their beach shack was huge, and yet the simplicity of their lives, contentment and pride in their produce was overwhelming. A moment we will treasure and feel privileged to have witnessed so briefly. And we had no phones, no cameras, Just our memories.

The glossy resorts are not the real Fiji, essentially a 3rd world country with some very basic living conditions for the majority. But a temperate climate means their living is outside much of the time- cooking too. Day beds adorn most make shift porches to catch the cool breeze at siesta. They sit and talk, they laugh. The kids hang out, play, and find entertainment.

They are not frantically racing and buzzing about as we have come to see as normal. I was humbles as we passed several road side stalls of a rudimentary table set up- a crate and a flat piece of door or cabinet- on them were tiny silver fish piled high and glistening in the sun. No other wares for sale. Just tiny fish. Or chickens tied to a crate under the shade of a tree waiting to be chosen for the pot. Or neatly tied vegetables in bundles lined up.

I cannot imagine living so utterly hand to mouth as these vendors must, on a few dollars a day, but the vast majority of the world do I suppose.

I don’t feel guilty as such for my way of life, but I do feel a duty to take away some lessons. We only landed 24 hours ago (Now with many woolen layers, jeans, crackling fire and thick blankets to keep us warm as we are in the dead of winter suddenly) Yet my head is spinning already with to do lists, appointments, commitments, work, school schedules, extra curricular activities, grocery shopping, laundry…… I need to step back, slow down and breathe. I also need to acknowledge I put a lot of these pressures on myself. I have high standards- which is great- but not to the detriment of peace and true contentment.

Despite the bitter cold, my heart sored to have my girls in my arms after a week, to be greeted so warmly by our cats, and to see the color bursting from the plant pots on the deck regardless of the season. Our aircraft cut though a magnificent wintry orange sunset last night to land safely and welcome us home.

We confuse the price of material things with the price of happiness. Its only by stepping out of the material mindset that we can appreciate that confusion.

Contentment is indeed the greatest wealth.

Being prepared

Sat, 27 May 2023 08:05:00 GMT

I love to plan, and prepare list and organize. This is nothing new to me and I find peace and sanctuary in my routines- be that a regular laundry routine, household tasks, my evening cleansing regimen before taking my bath or shower, or meal planning.

However, the last couple of weeks I have taken advantage of a quiet home at the beginning of the week and my advanced meal planning and grocery shopping , by preparing 3 or 4 meals on a Monday to see me though the busiest part of the week- evenings racing to and from ballet classes, basketball matches or various appointments or parent teacher interviews.

The feeling of being completely prepared and of gaining the time back has been so very lovely. None of the dishes prepared were complex or particularly sophisticated, just family favorites or crowd pleasers, but the feeling of gaining back the time and enjoying the simplicity of taking the next whatever out of the fridge ready to pop in the oven, and then getting on with another task or freeing up 20 minutes to write, read, fold laundry, take a longer walk, or even preparing the side dishes but with far fewer dishes at the end or cleaning up to do as the bulk is prepared.

This week some of the meals I prepared ahead were-

Marry me chicken- a baked version so it could go straight into the oven, then I just popped rice in the rice cooker when it was time to get dinner on the go and steamed some broccoli.

A Quiche Lorraine- paired with a simple side salad and re hearted in the oven

A beef and mozzarella pot pie- packed full of vegetables and very hearty so just popped back in the oven to heat through

And all time family fave- Spaghetti Bolognaise, so I just re heated the meatsauce on the stove as the pasta cooked.

I felt like Martha Stewart, the family were happy and I seemed to reclaim several hours and a good deal of peace! I highly recommend giving a bit of batch cooking a try prior to a busy week and enjoy the rewards!

On a completely different note, Its feeling very much like the end of Autumn is fast approaching and winter is starting to get her frosty fingers though all the cracks and blowing off the last of the autumn leaves.

Yesterday was the most spectacular display of mist and early sun, and it was so good to feel the warm sun on my skin and get the laundry dry on the line again.

We took a drive out to a local beach which was initially completely cut off by the vicious January storms and floods and then only accessible to residents. The land scape is forever scarred and the roads and many many homes still badly damaged or even washed away, but the beach was its usual magnificent, dramatic and majestic self. It felt good to rug up in jeans, my trusty Hunter wellies, a trench and a woolen scarf- although after a walk though soft sand with a take away coffee it was rather too warm!

Baking

Tue, 23 May 2023 01:54:00 GMT

Sometimes, the simple act of donning my pinny, getting out my Kitchen aid, and switching on the oven to heat up, is the most calming, grounding and pleasurable way to bring myself back to the present, slow down and de stress.

Baking on the fly, in a hurry, when you’re too tired to re clean the kitchen again- or when you suddenly have to for a forgotten morning tea, bake sale or what have you, isn’t relaxing whatso ever I find.

But on a day when I have time, I enjoy the very process and find it immensely calming and satisfying.

An early bright summery weekend morning, with my mason cash mixing bowl and a favorite sturdy whisk with its tactile wooden handle for a batch of waffles or pancakes, a rainy wintry afternoon with a warm spiced apple cake in anticipation of enjoying it after a blustery cold walk with a favorite pot of tea, a citrussy tart for an after dinner decadent treat with guests, or a tray of gooey, fudgy brownies ready for lunch boxes that I know will be appreciated and enjoyed beyond all else!

Its all about the mind set. Sometimes it can restore me but more often than not its the process itself that brings such calm satisfaction that the more I engage and focus the more I enjoy and the more love- literally and figuratively, is poured into the baking. You can taste the difference. It has its own energy!

It is a different emotion to that of preparing a meal, which is more about nourishment, and nutrients and full tummy’s and healthy bodies. And I LOVE to cook. I love to plan, prepare, shop for and produce seasonal balanced meals for my family.

Baking is almost always exclusively indulgent, a treat, a pocket of warm love and abundance.

Especially paired with a cup of tea.

The importance of intentionally slowing the pace

Sun, 21 May 2023 01:36:00 GMT

I have several friends who thrive on being busy and jam packed all the time. Every evening has an activity, a meeting, a guest a dinner- something, and weekends are scheduled start to finish - even though much is fun and pleasurable it allows very little, if any, time to actually relax and just be. And more often that not in adequate sleep too.

Having said that, while I have come to realize how vital “down time” is for me, “down time” is mainly productive for me, but in a gentle way. Another friend observed recently that I’m an Active relaxer, and I think that’s spot on. I like to be home, to bake, read, write, tick off my housework list, meal plan, tidy, take walks, and allow quiet moments to savor the weather -calming rain, or a blue bird day.

Enjoying and savoring the simplest of daily tasks and rituals; that first sip of coffee, putting the last of the laundry away, walking in to a fresh bedroom with the bed neatly made, smelling a bloom from the garden, petting my cats in the morning while they eagerly await their breakfast.

One of of my most treasured moments in my week is waking up on a Saturday morning. I don’t like to wake late (any time after 6.45am is getting on in my book) but I like to wake naturally, allow myself time to fully come round and most of all to lie in bed- just for a few minutes, listening to the bird song, maybe the rain, and watch the trees moving in the breeze- or gale, or whatever mother nature has in store that day! I gather my thoughts, loosely map out the day and feel deep gratitude for all I have in my life and all there is to come. My husband and I usually then throw the bed covers back, the windows open and head down stairs for coffee and to feed the cats and have a chat before we start our respective morning fitness regimens. The girls are usually asleep and we can digest the week that was, and plan the weekend ahead.

Other rituals I look forward to are my Friday evening bath, where once dinner is finished and cleared away and the kitchen is tidy and clean for the next day, I go up stairs, usually do a little yoga or stretching, while my bath runs, then sink into a hot deep bath with whatever salts, soaps, oils I feel like that evening, and either enjoy silence, my book, or a podcast. It seals and rewards the end of a busy week for me and shifts my mind set to weekend mode.

On a busier weekend I find I need to actively schedule in quieter moment’s in order to cope and enjoy the more social or hectic elements. A full day celebrating my daughters birthday with friends out side of the home meant I kept the evening very simple and the following day a peaceful catch up day mostly at home to clean, iron, read, bake, write, walk and re set for the week. If I don’t balance the more busy and stimulating times with these more tranquil restorative moments I find my anxiety climbing and my stress level rising and a familiar and unpleasant feeling of over whelm creeping in.

It is SO important to listen to what you need. I have recently come across the term HSP (Highly sensitive person) across several platforms. No, this does not mean someone who blubs at advertisements and is emotionally unstable. But a person who is deeply affected by physical, emotional or social stimuli. This means we need to de compress, have time alone with our thoughts or pottering, and may find social situations very draining- even if we thoroughly enjoy them at the time. I brushed the term aside initially -not dismissing anyone who did identify with being and HSP but that I wasn’t one. Turns out, I pretty much tick every box. And to a degree, that’s actually very comforting and reassuring as it validates my feelings and need for tranquility, time in nature, and being home.

Let's list

Mon, 15 May 2023 04:33:00 GMT

For probably almost a decade now, I have been trying to curate my wardrobe with the bounds of a 10 item wardrobe, or at the very least and intentional wardrobe. My discipline and inspiration for this ebbs and flows, naturally. While I enjoy as much pleasure form a beautifully tissue wrapped new garment in a stiff branded bag with cotton handles, I also get an equal thrill and pleasure for a bargain snapped up second had of a quality item. I think its important to enjoy both, and the variety, whatever your budget.

Some of my absolute staples were second hand but high end quality pieces- silk blouses, wool tailored blazers, Italian leather shoes (Brand new!)

I keep a note book in my walk in wardrobe to jot down items I need for the coming season, or things I’d like to find or invest in. I keep out of season clothes in fabric bins at the top of the wardrobe and switch the seasons out accordingly- editing as I go. Things that haven’t stood the test of time, that don’t wear as well as I’d hoped, that are uncomfortable, or are ill fitting.

Recently, I changed over my spring /summer wardrobe to Autumn /Winter. I had a slightly unpleasant surprise when a few weeks after switching over, I dressed in a pair of pure wool, tailored Everlane navy pants. They were rather more snug than I’d have liked…. My husband kindly pointed out I have changed shape a little with participating in different fitness workouts- longer more strenuous walks and lifting light weights. So its not weight gain per se (Hmmm) but these pants, that I ADORE were so tight and uncomfortable I ended up taking them out of circulation. Now, normally this would involve donating them, however, these are high quality pants from over seas, to make it worse I have the exact same pair in black too! So, I made an exception and have stored them away- just in case. Not forever but to give my body a chance before I make a rash decision. we’ll see….

This consequently led me to re think my core style, the winter look I want to portray, and the general vibe and feel I am looking for in my wardrobe.

For this season in particular, I am looking at classic, stylish tailoring. (although I’m looking forward to sporting a more casual look in the warmer months of tailored linen shorts and the like too)

I have a good selection of Blazers from over the years, most classic cut, one is more of a Chanel vibe in a boucle red black and cream and collarless. So combining those, one or two more structured skirts, well fitted denim in various hues, sweaters and cardigans in cashmere and merino, and a couple of coats for various temperatures and conditions, then accessories, footwear, belts bags etc, I’m creating my signature style. Or tweaking it. In summer I lean a little more organically- linen, natural fabrics, wrap dresses, jumpsuits, and sundresses.

So, as much as for my own benefit as for your interest and perusal: here is my list of essential winter wardrobe items- which I will then spend tomorrow editing and curating to align with my ideals and thin out the extra or unwanted or unsuitable pieces- anything that doesn’t sing to my signature style. Making dressing a breeze for work, casual, or special dinner. I’ll know exactly what I have and which pieces work together.

Lets go top to bottom:

Decide on the colour scheme and vibe that best suits you and what you wish to portray.

Never forget quality well fitted, supportive and most importantly comfortable, undergarments’ Nude, skin tone, black and white- then you can get more adventurous.
Camisoles- Silk or merino, or a non static fabric to provide both modesty and warmth. Black white and Neutral at least the you can add navy, plum- wat ever works with your color scheme.
A variety of blouses and shirts with different neck lines and sleeves. You cant go wrong with a Tailored fitted crisp white shirt, and maybe some softer flowy silkier blouses. remembering to keep them along the same lines of the colour scheme you’ve chosen but you can add a pop of colour with a blouse- for example, dark denim skinny jeans, a navy blazer and a hot pink or jade blouse.
Quality, well fitted denim. Whatever style you prefer and that suits you- skinny, boyfriend, bootleg. In a dark wash and a lighter one. I also have an olive green jean and a mid gray, which just elevate them enough above the standard denim for some occasions. (And white and cream for summer)
Trousers/pants and skirts- I have a handful of pencil skirts for work, Navy, black, tan a hound’s-tooth check and a floral. Pants in dark colors mainly - Navy and Black. I also have 2 pairs of silk trousers , in navy and one black which are so versatile and can be dressed up for evening and paired with heels, flats, loafers or even elegant sandals. And a pair of culottes in Leopard. My favorite “neutral”!
Dresses. Ahhh, dresses. I had a fairly lengthy phase where I wore almost exclusively dresses no matter the weather or season. But for this winter wardrobe I have the following-

A cashmere/ wool belted sweater dress in light tan

A navy and white long sleeve wrap dress

An emerald green silk shirt dress and a cream cord shirt dress

A “ Boho” bell sleeve long ditzy floral dress in predominantly tan

Sweaters and cardigans- I have longline chunky cardigans/coatigans for more casual days, cashmere more formal button up ones, a few cosy sweaters in mostly olives and creams and tans. And cashmere staples in tan, cream, black and grey. Also thin layering pieces - merino is perfect, that can be stand alone, under a blazer, a cardigan or even a dress.
Outerwear- a classic trench in putty, a classic trench in black, a long navy woolen double breasted and belted, and tan long length wool double breasted and belted, a long olive full length waterproof, denim jacket, black down puffa.
Footwear- this is so very personal and lifestyle dependent. We have very wet winters and I walk to work, so my shoe choices will be very different to yours maybe.

Flats- pointed toe or classic round ballet flats. Navy, Black, Neutral/Tan, Leopard (Of course)

Ankle boots/ Booties, Black with heel (for evening wear), navy, classic tan Chelsea, olive green,

Long, knee high black, tan/ brown.

Scarves- oh so many! But keep in the color palette and have some for very cold days that are large and more wrap style, and some in silk to tie and outfit together, some as statement pieces that can be more whimsical and fun.

A jumble of thoughts and ponderings

Tue, 09 May 2023 05:14:00 GMT

I have had several days away from my work due to being unwell, the weekend and my work schedule. During this time I have mostly been at home punctuated by plenty of wet walks and fresh air.

We are creatures of habit and on many occasions either on my morning walks or whilst walking to work I have passed the same elderly gentleman. Evidently he takes a walk (A fairly lengthy one I gather, too) pretty much every day, at around the same time, regardless of the weather.

On this particular morning I was taking my walk in the opposite direction, so rather than passing him, we were walking in the same direction. I greeted him good morning as I approached to pass him and for the first time we exchanged more than the usual pleasantries- Good morning, Beautiful day, enjoy your walk etc. We commented on how mild the weather has been and I mentioned we’d not yet lit our fire which is very unusual for this time of year. He replied that they’d been lighting there’s for about a month already and we probably didn’t feel it as we were young. Then he said ;

” Hold onto it for as long as you possibly can”

Wise words indeed. Its all too easy to become complacent about daily life and perceived drudgery when in fact, if we don’t see every day, every moment for the preciousness it offers- all too quickly its not within our grasp anymore.

A past neighbor of ours once commented on our energy as a young family and when it came to throwing dinner parties, as we did frequently, that she used to do it “Standing on her head” and now it takes it out of her: The planning, the preparation, the cooking, the cleaning up , the late night- admittedly off set by a wonderful evening among friends but leaving her to recover somewhat, not bounce straight into the next day.

Our boundless energy doesn’t actually last forever but we can implement things to help draw it out into a later years for as long as we possibly can.

This is what I’ve been reflecting on over the past few days. How to cherish and be grateful for what I’m capable of NOW, in this present moment, and how to best insure myself and my body for the future. A building term bandied around here a decade or so ago was “ Future proofing” Its just that!

Nurture and nourish the body you have been blessed with- forgive it its lumps and bumps and imperfections and delight in how amazingly it all works- and your mind! Fuel it with good food, hydrate, sleep, stretch, MOVE. Or all too soon you may find it creeps up on you and you realize these simple things you took for granted are no longer so simple, or they ache, or are stiff and sore and maybe no longer achievable.

NO need to be super strict or forbid your self from things- life is absolutely for living and for enjoying and having fun! But moderation is key, and using your body each and every day- yoga, walks, swimming- whatever it is. Keep exercising your mind too, don’t stop being inquisitive, reading, trying new things, leaning something new, exploring.

I am going to re instate my (mostly) daily gratitude journal - it helps quiet the mind and focus on the good. It also is a nice feeling to sit and reflect on all the positives in your life, even on more turbulent days. I am going to extend the journal by making it more of a “Commonplace book” a term relatively new to me but a wonderful idea of keeping all these thoughts- notes on inspiration, gratitude, recipes, what your reading, watching, walks, weather- whatever you wish to include. what a joy to have it all in one place and to reflect upon in later years. I have a beautiful pearlescent leather note book that was a gift from my girls I’d been using so its sitting beside me now with a lovely ink pen and the minute I finish typing I fill a page or two before starting on dinner.

Pluviophile... Just as well

Sat, 06 May 2023 04:42:00 GMT

(n) A lover of rain: someone who finds joy and peace of mind on rainy days

Savoring simple daily pleasures

Its fortunate that I have recently diagnosed myself as a pluviophile- as the rain has fallen steadily here for days and days and there is no break on the horizon in the coming week. Still I see the incredible beauty in it. The layers of the landscape in similar hues and the droplets on the branches and leaves like little lights. I really quite like walking in the rain, I find the sound of gentle rain soothing and of downpours exhilarating. I don’t enjoy staying in wet clothing, but as soon as I’m home and changed and my shoes are stuffed with paper and rain jacket hung to drip dry theres a contented glow which settles after a wet walk in any season.

It is less fortunate that I have picked up a rather unpleasant head cold along with sore throat and a cough that disrupts my sleep terribly. Less fortunate still that we have had to cancel a much anticipated evening at a wonderful restaurant with dear friends because of it.

However, I am grateful that my body has asked my to slow down, pause, recover, restore and allow my self not only to be unwell but to heal. Its nothing serious, just a bit frustrating- I don’t like having to change plans and I don’t run well on little sleep. BUT; this is perfect weather for it. It asks you to be home and potter at a slower pace. These days its even less acceptable to just battle on through and go to work or where ever when you are sick- quite rightly. I never wanted to pick up anyone’s bugs before Covid. (This little beauty was a gift from my husband i believe whos spent two weeks feeling pretty awful sadly. ) So I stayed home from my work yesterday, took a gentle walk, and savored sitting with the French doors open, curled up on the sofa with a warm drink and my cats as the rain fell and the clock ticked and I just was.

I equally love the gloriousness of a bright sunny day with my linens drying on the line and the sound of distant lawn mowers, but each day, each type of weather, of season, brings its own joys to savor and appreciate. I’m not just a fair weather girl.

I have just returned from an afternoon loop to the beach and back in the gently falling rain, now sitting at the kitchen table with a pot of Lapsang soushong tea, the comforting noises of a wet cosy Saturday with the family home, and the anticipation of a delicious dinner and the Coronation of King Charles 3rd televised this evening.

Its still making a good effort to try be Autumn here, with roses still in bloom, cicadas and crickets not yet silenced for the season and temperatures in the high teen and low twenties still. Usually by May we are starting to regularly light our open fire and log burner.

Despite the warm evening, the sun sets earlier and earlier, and its dark around 6pm, so once I’ve got the kitchen in order after a days hungry family foraging and teenage baking ( Caramel slice to die for…and change waist bands for!) Ill make a warm comforting and decadent meal, take a hot bath, watch the Coronation and snuggle into bed dosed up in the hope I sleep and can recuperate a little ready for a simple, rainy, and contented Sunday.

Nourishment: the broader picture

Sat, 29 Apr 2023 08:55:00 GMT

The very word, Nourishment, for many of us conjures up images of healthful foods, maybe iced water, or rainbow salads.

But to live a “nourished” life, it runs so much deeper than that.

I believe Nourishment (yes with a capital) is a very personal thing which we draw to us from many directions.

Physically we can nourish our bodies with vital and restorative sleep; we are far better equipped to tackle our days, physically and mentally after a decent rest. Poor quality or lack of sleep has so many knock on effects- after a poor sleep we are more inclined to crave sugary or high carbohydrate foods, our hormones and circadian rhythm suffers, or brain gets foggy, in extreme cases our hair, skin and nails will also start to show evidence of insufficient sleep.

We all have our magic number of hours which is optimal for us. Mine is 8. On 8 hours I’m energized, resorted and ready to go. Many people need far less, But needing and receiving are very different. Famously Margaret Thatcher worked on 3-4 hours sleep a night, as does Martha Stewart (Sigh, my heroine) My husband is lucky to get 5 hours unbroken sleep but he NEEDS more. Just rarely gets it.

The key is to find your ideal amount, then ease your evening routine- and morning routine, in such a way to give you the best chance of achieving it- at least most of the time. On a bust week I often miss out on a precious hour as I perhaps climb into bed at 10pm and my alarm is set for 5am- but if you keep it present in your mind and try to get there as often as you can, at the very least you can bank a few a week to keep stores high.

Certainly, I draw much nourishment from nature- being in it, walking in it and breathing in deep lungful’s each day. I feel starved and a bit on edge if I haven’t spent enough time out doors- whatever the weather- maybe walking, mowing the lawns, gardening, whatever it may be. My connection the the seasons, the weather and the environment that surrounds me is absolutely vital nourishment for me. For others this may be time on horse back, in or on the water, taker a 4 legged friend for a walk, on a bike, what every fills your cup and NOURISHES you in that respect.

Yoga - even just a few minutes, I find magically nourishing. The rhythmic familiarity of the poses, the breath, and the stretching leaves me glowing, calm, and nourished and ready for what’s next. It slows me down, ensures I pause and reflect, and allows my body to heal and strengthen.

Yoga can be deeply spiritual for people, as faith is - both can nourish the spirit and the mind.

Of course, Nourishment comes from a balanced healthy diet- and balance in the wider sense that the odd treat or indulgence is just as important for wellbeing as the bowl of kale soup made with bone broth. A cream egg at Easter is good for the soul….

Family and Friends are a source of nourishment for me. To nurture, be nurtured, inspire and to be inspired, to love and be loved, cherished and to cherish. Being able to share feelings and thoughts and woes with trusted friends, your spouse, significant other is a huge part of a nourished and fulfilled life.

A good, deep belly laugh when tears roll down your cheeks and the smile lasts long after is an absolute tonic we probably would all like more of.

Being able to be there for my girls to confide in, or to discuss things with my husband, support girlfriend’s- is all equally giving needed nourishment to others and in receiving it yourself. The company we choose to keep and surround ourselves with is a major factor. Be aware of some relationships that may drain more than nourish: that may cause angst or mistrust, or hurt. Try to be as honest and as objective as you possibly can about these- no one need know your inner most thoughts, but you can change your actions and maybe maneuver in such a way that you spend less time in their company, or have inner strategies in order to help cope with more difficult relationships so that they don’t drain you or diminish your “Nourished” self. Be they family, friend or colleague.

The gift of time is one of the most nourishing and luxurious things you can give yourself. Take a moment (or two or three) to asses where you require to spend time, where you would like to spend time- on what, with whom, how- It may be as simple as on a busy week night after a day at work and then racing back out to a Childs after school activity you choose a jarred pasta sauce over something more homemade and time consuming, it may be getting up an hour earlier to fit in the meditation, yoga, run, reading, shower, you need to nourish you and start your day as you wish, it may be turning in early to get that extra hours sleep you crave, it may be paying for someone to clean your home to free up your weekends, or planning the weeks meals and utilizing the croc pot to give you some evening back, re scheduling your day to fit in a nap with a blanket a book and a cup of tea before the busy evening kicks in. Whatever it may be, there are few of us who don’t wish for more time in the day, to slow the pace just a little, and feel less rushed and frazzled during a working week.

Make a lost of your top things that allow you to feel nourished, not forgetting those things we know nourish us, like plenty of fruits and vegetables, sleep and hydration, and see if you can find a way to add more of them into your daily life. After all, its the everydays that make up our lives.

Be brave enough to live by your own rules so that you can strive each day to live your best life.

All things great and small

Tue, 25 Apr 2023 09:03:00 GMT

Its been more than a week since my last entry, due to a full and eventful few days away.

I have been reflecting on the tiny seemingly insignificant things that can have a big impact or leave a lasting message, along with some huge things, that can be just as powerful. From little delicate blossoms adorned with twinkling due, to the majestic vastness of an alpine mountain range.

We had a taste of both winter and adventure over the time we were away. This morning was a balmy 1 degree when I stepped outside to take my picturesque lakeside walk at 7am. For the first time in many months I wore layers of merino and a wool head band and gloves. It was still, peaceful, idyllic and FREEZING! and I LOVED it. I could have just kept walking, and walking- taking great lungful’s of the crisp clean air, absorbing the beauty and relishing the time out and change of pace. My poor husband has been suffering with a dreadful flu the entire time so wasn’t able to participate in everything or enjoy it as much as he’d hoped to.

A couple of days ago (2 days later than planned due to weather conditions) my elder daughter and I walked the Tongariro Alpine Crossing- a renowned and challenging day hike, reaching over 1800M at its highest point, and a distance of just over 20KM. The landscape was breathtakingly dramatic and each segment of the trail was so very different from the last. The Journey takes you from boardwalks though alpine scenes, up craggy loose rack faces, incorporates views of volcanic wonders- craters and vibrant green Sulphur lakes, tough climbs, slippery descents, rising above the clouds where the air is thinner and so pure, back down through scrub, then the tree line, then damp dense bush.

The feeling of space and awe, despite the many other hikers on the trail with us that day, left me in no doubt of the sense of something much greater than us at work on earth. The sense of accomplishment after years of wanting to tackle it- not to mention after the disappointment of having to postpone on the Friday (High winds- gale force, heavy rain and visibility of 20M meant it simply wasn’t safe to attempt on the day we’d originally planned) and the relief of finally see my husband waiting for us at the end. So so proud of my girl for achieving it too. We got back to where we were staying to a sunny uplifting late afternoon, so to revive us we took the jetski on the lake- fresh! And I sat talking to my youngest on the jetty, dipping out legs (Mine very tired!) in the cold clear water, allowing the healing rejuvenating power to revive my feet and telling her of the mountain adventure. Such special moments I will treasure.

And so on to a new week, a new school term, and more adventure. Our daughter is off on camp tomorrow, so we unpacked from our trip and repacked- named everything and checked the gear lists.

SO many life affirming moments in so few days, its a lot to take in. So I will take a day or so to digest and reflect on it all and re look at the (Many!)photographs fondly.

So very grateful.

Approaching life's changes and seasons

Sat, 15 Apr 2023 03:09:00 GMT

As I sit here today, with some home made chicken soup simmering on the stove, feeling like a head cold is brewing, and the wind that’s gathering force outside has finally got a true autumnal nip to it, I am reflecting on thoughts I had during a long, and very sunny walk I took yesterday morning.

For the last few years, and more intently the last 12 months or so, I have been mindful to enjoy and appreciate what each day brings, to savor the little things, to appreciate the mundane as even that is not forever, to take a moment to step back and see my children blossoming, and likewise my parents aging- although both are incredibly fir and active and healthy for their ages, to have deep love and gratitude for my husband whos been by my side for well over 20 years now. In taking the time to slow and allow these thoughts, I also see how fast my girls are becoming young women, that the little dots in tutus at kindergarten, or snuggled up for stories after a bath, seems to have been so recently. And yet…. One is talking of learning to drive, of college, career paths, moving away. Soon they will be so much more independent even than now, which led me to my ponderings on my recent walk.

As heart wrenching as it can be for a parent to observe and encourage their children to grow, be strong and flourish, its incredibly challenging to be selfless enough to give them the wings to fly , and watch them take off and soar- with out you, with their own hurdles to overcome, their own drive and life to lead- where you may not be their first confidant or port of call any longer. But this is how it should be, and if I have done my job well, they will continue to soar, learn, succeed and grow.

Our responsibilities change and adapt, and are constantly fine tuning to their growing-up needs- as they will always.

I even had a little tummy turner as I imagined a life where we knew our girls were happy, safe and content, and we also had adventures, weekends away, impromptu dinner out, and a completely different structure and feel to our days. Will the house seem huge? Quiet? Tidy!? Will my housework and laundry be vastly reduced. Will I finally have time for the garden to truly bloom and be cared for, will they regularly bumble home for home baking, a favorite dinner, a shoulder to cry on, a hug, to introduce a special someone?

I hope so.

This is not immanent. But its a time that is fast approaching. So I wish to be mindful of all the moments together before this- even the cross words, the not- so- great decisions, the firsts and the lasts. The twinkle in my youngest eye as she throws an arm around my shoulder to remind me she is now taller than me!

It leaves us in a juxtaposition- reminiscing about days long gone, and anticipating the days and years ahead. Its a tricky place to be as a parent. I can well imagine a little empty nest syndrome may creep in at some point (That’s when I’ll finally get my DOG!)

None of us know what the future holds. So savor and see the joy in every day and all the little details.

It doesn’t mean we cant plan or look forward to future plans and endeavors. But don’t rush. These days wont every come around again. Much like stuffing the stockings at midnight when your utterly exhausted and KNOW there will be an unearthly early start on Christmas morning- one day they’ll sleep in late, the magic will fade a little, and you’ll wish you’d bottled that sparkling children’s magic and wonder.

A family Saturday morning Brunch today was a perfect little moment to spend time together, enjoy delicious food, and come home to (Make soup!) garden, wash cars and bake. Jostling cozily along with nowhere we have to be, just allowing our Saturday to unfold and rejuvenate us.

Perfect.

Easter, and universally grateful

Sat, 08 Apr 2023 08:20:00 GMT

I have always loved Easter; growing up in the UK we were often staying with family friends, or sometimes I’d be in Paris, for Paques, but it always signified spring. In France the Bells deliver the intricate chocolate eggs and gifts to the children, but I was always enchanted by the Easter Bunny. Its the law in our house to watch the movie HOP over Easter. Never gets old!

Easter has rather crept up on me this year, which has left me feeling a little flustered and a bit disappointed that I haven’t managed to organize my usual Easter treats and gifts- little eggs nests in letter boxes, hand painted Easter cards, gifts for colleagues. I have decorated, and got my Easter tea towels out for use, the Easter crockery and table linens are now waiting to be used tomorrow and I have baked a “Hot Cross Bun Cake,” which looks scrumptious with its decadent cinnamon spiced cream cheese frosting.

Despite us being well and truly into Autumn here in the southern hemisphere, we had soaring temperatures yesterday- the car registering 29 degrees, yet 3 nights ago we enjoyed a crackling log fire as it was so chilly.

We lived opposite these majestic poplars for over a decade, and they would ring in the seasons for us, one was felled by a recent storm, another is on a lean, but they are slowly starting to succumb to Autumns will. They calmed me today on my early walk after an up and down kind of week. Their stoicism though winters and gales and droughts.

I heard something this week which really resonated with me- to always be grateful for what the universe (God, whatever your beliefs) is doing FOR you- and To you. That nothing is by accident and every event, big or small, each moment is sent for you- especially you- for a lesson, and experience, a reward, a gift. Even if it may not feel like it at the time. It was something about the wording that struck me- and seemed so infinitely personal.

Wishing you a peaceful, and wonderful Easter- no matter the season you find you self in, take the opportunity for fresh beginnings, new growth, and a positive, open outlook, ready to receive what ever may be in store for YOU.

Remembering: how we spend our days, is how we spend our lives

Sat, 01 Apr 2023 06:54:00 GMT

Walking has become SUCH a huge and vital part of my everyday routine. Its exceptionally rare for a day to pass without me managing at least one reasonable walk in the fresh air and nature. They have become my tonic, my way of grounding myself, a form of therapy, inspiration, calm, peace and vitality. Not to mention the health and wellbeing benefits. I can allow my mind to wander, to dream, to process and to work though issues or plans or just get things straight in my head ready to move forward into my day, my evening or my week.

I often am lucky enough to have the company of friends for a walk, and frequently (Several times a week) my eldest daughter joins me. In her words- she can download and tell me things she either cant tell any one else or wouldn’t feel comfortable in another situation. Walking id=s disarming, and opens us up to those possibilities and conversations. I am so grateful for our precious time together and those moments are treasured. Most often I walk alone and regularly listen to a podcast, but the joy of the birdsong, crickets, cicadas, the sound of the rain falling or children splashing in swimming pools, is so special, and tranquil, I enjoy that the most.

Our clocks change here in the southern hemisphere tonight, so an extra hour in bed, and a little more daylight in the mornings for a time before it catches up with itself. I look forward to the lighter start to my day- having hung laundry in the dark just yesterday at 7am shortly before the photo above was taken! But the darker evenings feel a little limiting. While the coziness of snuggling in with blankets and roaring fires is appealing, it shortens our days for outdoor activities and puts time restraints on my afternoon/ evening walks.

Easter is just around the corner- one of my absolute favorite times of year. I so look forward to decorating the house, planning an Easter Menu, surprise treats, eggs hunts, floral arrangements- daffodils if I can find them (Wrong hemisphere!) This year it falls on my Paternal Grandmothers birthday- I think she would have been turning 109- possibly 110! So she will be even more in my thoughts and her Spode china will be laden with roast lamb and surrounded by good conversation and Easter egg wrappers!

There have been several unexpected and not altogether welcome obstacles this week- kicked off by my treadmill making a suspicious loud Pop and then a beep and then an ominous silence. And while I am missing its convenience terribly, I am looking for the positives that its thrown up- I haven’t felt 100% for a few days- a mix of a slightly injured back, fighting off a head cold, a sore throat, and a few other ailments- so that lack of my morning run has allowed my back to heal and for me to take it a little easier on my body so it can gently heal and repair. I have decided to take the opportunity to alternate my light weight routine one morning, with yoga and stretching the next, while incorporating my walks through the day. its given my routines a new direction unexpectedly, but until we can get the treadmill repaired, I’m choosing to enjoy the hiatus from the more strenuous running its provided.

Tonight, I am delighting in the luxury of not only an early night, but a bonus hour too. So having paid a visit to L’Occitane earlier today, I’m going to run a bath with some of their utterly Devine product, try a concoction of the myriad of delicious samples I have accrued from Clarins and L’Occitane for skin and body care, then slip into my linen sheets as the rain patters outside and start my new cozy mystery novel.

Maybe not a wild Saturday night, but sounds pretty perfect to me. x

Gifts of nature and friendship

Fri, 24 Mar 2023 08:19:00 GMT

on one particular day this week, where I was feeling a little under the weather, had a full schedule and a long to do list- I received 3, yes 3, little had picked bunches of flowers. From friends, colleagues and a little girl. Those little punctuations buoyed my day and punctuated it with such unexpected and gentle surprises, a day the could have gone rather south, was actually quite special. Thoughtfulness, kindness and care with simple yet beautiful gestures.

It encouraged me to ponder all the other offerings of mother nature when we are outside, and i even saw my neighborhood in a new light (literally, a golden autumnal hue) and appreciate from a new angle the vignettes we pass by many times a day.

No matter the weather, I am awestruck every day on my walks, with the natural beauty we are so fortunate to be surrounded by. This image was taken just after 7.30am with a chill in the air and a promise of a warm sunny day ahead.

I feel the more I pay attention, the more I absorb these surroundings and offerings, the more they fuel my energy, optimism and positivity. I feel physically grounded and my balance being restored each and every time I step outside- however briefly. For that gift, I am truly grateful. A reminder to not take everything so personally or to heart, to be at peace, that I can only mange my own feelings and responses.

on my evening walk tonight, tired on a Friday with the pizza dough proving on the bench at home and the week winding down, I also felt a strong sense of community- always through the locals I pass and greet or the cars that toot and wave, but though the plants and foliage too- their offerings and abundance, their rhythms and dependency. We are all part of it.

How we spend our days is how we spend our lives- if we remind ourselves of that, regularly, we can throw a very different light on our “everydays”.

The comforts of a rainy day

Tue, 21 Mar 2023 02:56:00 GMT

A cool dark morning greeted me this weekday. A day I deliciously knew I could mold into whatever I wished as I was not going to work, had no schedule and the house to myself. We spent the first night on our newly purchased (and freshly laundered of course) French linen sheets last night. Oh My! ….Just, Oh My! So divinely, lusciously, delectably, luxuriously cocooning and comfortable. I slept like a princess.

The forecast was for rain which I was looking forward to, as I knew I’d planned a cozy afternoon. When the family had bustled out of the door for the day shortly after the lazy autumn light ascended, I headed out on a walk down to the local beach. The light was magnificent - bright over the inlet but filtered and watery, with a thick drizzly mist hanging just over the hills.

I’d been home all of 30 minutes when the first raindrops fell. I popped out in the car after showering to run a couple of non urgent (And quite fun!!) errands, before getting back home, swapping my mules for sheepskin slippers, donning my apron and getting into some cozy baking as the rain steadily fell.

The errands were the loveliest kind- visiting my local department store and my lovely Clarins consultant to restock a few bits- she always looks after me so I returned with many luxurious samples and tips.

My rose on the front porch that keeps producing beautiful bold fragrant blooms.

The latest home baked favorite at the moment is the Donna Hay Chocolate Chip cookies- so I made a double batch of them, filled the tins, lit some warming scented candles, and then made a French Gateaux au Yaourt (Recipe below) , followed by “Leek O Potato soup” - family name for it, ready for dinner tomorrow with crusty bread and started on the preparation for tonight’s dinner.

The laundry is folded, the cats are curled up happily indoors, the house smells clean and homely, most of my list is ticked off and I feel grateful and accomplished. The day has flown by and the girls are due home soon so for now I will take a quite moment to listen to the rain pattering- maybe even pick up the book I began last night, and then make a pot of tea and sample the still warm gateaux. (Makes it sound rather gourmet but it is truly one of THE simplest recipes!)

Le Gateau au Yaourt

Ingredients

4 eggs

1 pottle of plain or greek yoghurt (150g)

1/2 pot sunflower oil (Or similar)

2 pots sugar

3 pots self raising flour

Lemon zest- optional

Preheat oven to 180degrees.

Whisk eggs then add all other ingredients, using the empty yoghurt pottle as your measure. Pour into a lined loaf tin and bake for 40-45 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean.

This time I grated the zest of a lemon into the the batter before mixing through and baking, then I squeezed the juice over the hot cake. But you can add vanilla, or chocolate chips, or cocoa, (or dried fruit…but it may sink slightly. )

Dust with icing sugar and serve generous slices with yoghurt on the side and a pot of tea.

Late summer bounty

Sun, 19 Mar 2023 01:38:00 GMT

An unexpected delight yesterday afternoon- an impromptu walk to visit a friend nearby resulted in a profound feeling of peace, and contentedness, and the abundance of simple pleasure’s and the joy celebrating the ordinary can bring us, should we choose to see it.

After a wander in her beautifully well tended garden (she is my dearest green fingered friend) bursting with late summer wonderous dahlias, huge globe artichoke plants, roses, and her quaint and utterly unique green house crafted with old windows and treasures. We then had a restorative cuppa and chat while observing the sheep gently grazing beyond her established garden and the twinkling estuary and mangroves beyond.

I left feeling like I’d had a mini holiday from daily life, inspired to get into my garden and armed with a freshly picked bunch of succulent rhubarb!

I was then lucky enough to come home and shower and get ready to meet other dear friends for a sumptuous dinner in town at a Greek taverna - whos décor and ambience transported us to Europe on such a warm balmy evening and the food- oh my goodness, I will remember that unctuous meltingly tender lamb for all my days!

Its now a fresh and sunny autumnal Sunday, with the doors and windows thrown open, several loads of laundry on the line, and the rhubarb bubbling away on the stove, turning into a deep jewel coloured pink, ready to enjoy with yoghurt for breakfast tomorrow.

Mornings are drawing in and dawn is much later seemingly all of a sudden, temperatures are fresh- as low as 12degrees now first thing, but sunny days are still very warm and summery. Dining outdoors is pleasant for lunch but by evening its getting a little too cool now. While non of us here in New Zealand feel we got much summer at all, I am quietly ready to see the first wisps of wood smoke curling from the chimneys, to welcome into my kitchen all things pumpkin, savor the first slow cooked beef stew, and get my home ready for Easter.

On that note, I am off to bake a double batch of indulgent chocolate chip cookies for the weeks lunchboxes and snacks, and retrieve the dry linen from the line ready to re make the girls beds up and take a walk before dinner preparations and a quiet Sunday evening home.

I haven’t ventured further than the garden yet today and I still feel refreshed and recharged and lucky to live in my own little sanctuary.

The steadiness of the natural world

Sat, 11 Mar 2023 07:40:00 GMT

There is something so reassuring about the inevitability and certainty of the creatures we share of daily lives with. No matter what may have happened in the supermarket queue, the traffic jam, the heated work meetings, the laundry miss-hap, the teenage roller coaster of emotions- the birds and the bees…. And the insects and the blossoms… continue faithfully and doggedly and with utter certainty on their path.

I was reminded of this as I took an early evening walk and just out of the corner of my eye as I stepped I noticed a large, plump- fairly speedy - caterpillar 🐛, looking very busy indeed crossing the road. He didn’t even pause as I hastily side stepped him to avoid harming him and just kept on, steadily and purposefully to wherever his destination was. I cannot imagine what tempted him so totally to cross what must be uncomfortable terrain ( bumpy tarmac) to reach a bushel of similar size, light and density - but he knew where his path was taking him.

I’d like to take a note from his journey- to keep in our sights our goals, dreams and aspirations, and know, however small or insignificant we may feel , we ARE capable of overcoming obstacles and the unknown- even the unwanted, we just have to follow our nose, have a little faith , and be open to the path deviating from where we had pictured, but ultimately reaching the same destination.

I haven’t felt 100% the last few days, and I can’t put my finger on it but I’ve endeavoured to tune into my needs and my body and slow down a little. Take a shorter, gentler walking route, prepare a simpler meal, glad that class in order to get into bed that much earlier. While I soak by candle light as the evening lights faded to a twinkling sky, the crickets start their ‘day’ and the stream trickles on, the birds have roosted and are ready for a new day - so too am I. An early walk and catch up with a friend will begin my Sunday and that thought alone calms me and helps me slow a little, breathe a little deeper, and savor THIS moment, as it won’t come again- similar, but not the exact same. The rhythm of nature will carry us forth into another day, a new week and endless possibilities.

The reward of physical exhaustion

Sat, 04 Mar 2023 06:23:00 GMT

I am delighted we seem to be enjoying an Indian Summer now we are officially in Autumn! Dawn offers blood red skies and the warmth builds through the day to the crescendo of cicadas.

Today was such a wonderFUL Saturday. We enjoyed an early peaceful coffee on a still and fresh morning. After my usual morning exercise, (my husband and our eldest took a quick trip to the local beach for some early wakeboarding with the high tide) a friend brought an incredible piece of machinery round - a petrol powered log splitter- and we all got stuck in splitting, loading, transporting and stacking wood for the winter. It was very hot - we were all dripping in the heat and very thankful for the iced water delivered by my girls periodically.

The sense of achievement when they drove away to have that spot on our driveway free and clear again and to know we had a ample pile of quality wood stored away was fabulous.

After a simple bite, I then embarked on mowing the lawns, followed by a local neighborhood walk and a cool drink on the deck.

Filtered light just past dawn

I then mustered the energy to bring in and fold the multiple loads of clean dry laundry off the line and start dinner. As I type, the “Marry Me Chicken” (Recipe at the end) is baking in the oven, the rice is almost done, I’m utterly exhausted but the anticipation of a hot shower with favorite products and sinking onto the bed in my nightgown in a cool clean bedroom to watch the last of a must see French series LUPIN, is as delicious as dinner will be.

So forgive the shortened post. I ache, happily, and am spent in the satisfying and fulfilling way that can only come from a full day well lived, sprinkled with sun, friends and hard labor!

The stroll I took earlier while accompanied by our youngest on a scooter- whizzing ahead and doubling back, offered some time for refection and to notice the busy insects who endure such arduous hard work each and every day. Much to learn from the bees.

Marry Me Chicken

There are multiple recipes available for this dish and I tweak mine regularly depending on what I have to hand so feel free to make it your own. It truly is a huge hit with my family of picky eaters.

Chicken Breast diced, preferably free range organic (allow 1/2 per person)

Garlic, 4 cloves crushed

Fresh cream- around 3/4 cup

Freshly grated parmesan 1/2 cup

Chicken broth 3/4 cup

Splash of white wine- if you have it

Fresh or dried thyme and parsley- dried 1/2 teaspoon of each, fresh- to taste, but washed and finely minced

Sundried tomatoes in oil, 1/3-1/2 a jar, around 4 table spoons, with most oil drained off.

Salt and pepper, splash of olive oil, knob of butter

In a cast iron skillet or good heavy oven proof frying pan, brown the diced and seasoned chicken in a little olive oil, when coloured all over, remove from pan. Add minced garlic, a knob of butter and the tomatoes. Allow to simmer for a minute or two then add stock, wine, cream and broth.

Stir chicken back through and sprinkle parmesan on top. Season to taste.

Place pan directly into hot oven at 180 for around 20 minutes or until chicken cooked through and browned and bubbling on top.

Serve immediately over rice, quinoa, noodles, mashed potatoes or cauliflower rice, with a fresh salad or steamed greens.

Savoring the changing seasons

Mon, 27 Feb 2023 22:10:00 GMT

Embracing change

Savoring simple daily pleasures

I look forward to and relish all the seasons. My husband is a summer- man and spends his wintry months longing for the warmth and ease of summer days.

While I do enjoy summer, very much, I don’t feel I prefer any one season to another. Each offer their own special and unique qualities and characteristics, which I long for with anticipation every time one starts to show the signs of change.

Here we are, already moving into March this week! This year feels a little different as we approach autumn as the summer has been so un-summery- Cyclones, storms, floods, earthquakes- its been a bizarre season and frankly quite unnerving. It has absolutely brought our environment and our impact to everyone’s attention- even those who were skeptical about climate change can hardly deny what’s before them and the destruction and devastation left in the wake of such sever and unprecedented weather.

Yet still, as I sit on our covered deck with the Cicadas noisily in the background and my two cats flopped in the shade, I am excited for Autumn. I plan to have a quick cull and edit of my wardrobe today in preparation of changing over my clothing for the new season- not quite yet but I like to take stock, donate anything that didn’t work for me, refresh it a little and make a note of what I may need to replace, procure, add or change- both for the current season and the one for which we are headed.

I’m looking forward to finding the perfect sweater I’ve been looking for, to ordering firewood for our wood burner and open fire place, to getting my cosy scarves out and enjoying feeling chic and pulled together in my various blazers when the weather cools.

I love the process of puling out the throw blanket’s and making the home and especially the family room warm and inviting, changing the candle scents for something more seasonal and associated with the Autumn, and creating and savoring time in the kitchen with seasonal, fresh and preferably local ingredients. Pulling out the cast iron Dutch oven, autumnal stone fruits, and preparing to decorate and celebrate Easter- one of my most favorite times of the year. Even living in a topsy turvy season here at the bottom of the world where Easter is Autumn, not daffodils and bunnies and new growth, but hunkering down and stocking the pantry and layering up for my walks!

I feel like there are several garments I’ve barely used this summer as the weather has been so unsettled and my beach bag and swimwear isn’t full of the tell tale signs of a long hot summer as it would usually be- sand filled, gritty lip balms, and the odd pretty shell collected.

The mornings are just starting to have a gentle nip to them and a light mist is common in the valleys and dips. But the days soon warm up and its still pleasant in the evenings to keep the big doors open while I cook and we have dinner.

So I will savor what’s left of this summer, be grateful for warm walks, the smell of sunscreen, the sound of Cicadas, hanging out my laundry, breakfast al fresco and throwing the house open each day; And I will anticipate with great contentment the coming of a new season, and the enchantment of watching the balmy days evolve into Autumns magic.

Late summer… Autumn waiting in the wings

Sat, 25 Feb 2023 20:47:00 GMT

Mother nature

Savoring simple daily pleasures

I have just returned form my early Sunday morning walk- and what an absolutely stunning start to the day. My heart and mind are full from savoring and being able to appreciate and enjoy such beauty.

We are on the cusp of Autumn here, and despite the horrific weather this poor land has done its best to endure over the last few weeks, days like this give hope and promise of a fresh new start, a new season, and the comfort that we get a brand new day each and every day, the seasons roll around as sure as the tides approach and recede.

There was a pleasant distinctive nip in the air as I set out, and this photo above taken just before 8am captures the mist and the sunlight that is so unique and special to this time of year. The odd car passed me but for the first part of my walk all i was aware of was the trickle of streams and continual run off from the storm water and heavy rains, the birds and feint roosters calling in the day. By the time I had looped back for my return trip the heat had suddenly ramped up and the cicadas were almost deafening - reminding me summer is not over yet.

This is one of my favorite times of the year. I don’t look forward to dark mornings and shorter days but the anticipation of the changing colors, of wisps of wood smoke, of crackling fires and of bracing walks when you glow once you’re back inside in the warm are all things I look forward to and enjoy.

Already the light is changing on my walk to work and dawn is later and later- this week offering spectacular light quality, dramatic clouds, and on our way across town with friend to a restaurant last night, one of the brightest rainbows i have ever encountered. It was magical. The moon on our way home later in the evening was also remarkable- a huge yellow crescent hanging low in the sky surrounded by big twinkling stars- but photographs snapped on a one can never fully capture and portray the beauty and magnificence - it is these moments when its important to remind ourselves to SAVOR the moment. Be in it fully. Be present and treasure it.

This week has been a jumble of emotions, and learning of the tragic passing of a young mother with a daughter the age of my youngest really brought to the fore the fragility of life, and the importance of treasuring time, moments, hugs with loved ones: Savor the everyday moments, for we are fortunate to have these to enjoy day after day, however simple- hanging fresh linen in the sun, sinking in to a bubble bath, relishing your tidied up clean kitchen after a family meal, your morning coffee, a laugh with a dear friend, a good night kiss.

It is these moment’s which make up our every days, and our lives. Be present. Don’t rush them away in a plight to complete your to do list.

Breathe deep. Enjoy.

Plenty: the simplest of Saturdays

Sat, 18 Feb 2023 08:33:00 GMT

This week has taught me over and over how incredibly fortunate I am. In the ongoing aftermath of cyclone Gabrielle, the human spirit is a shining light. Those who are less physically affected by the monstrous damage need to remind ourselves-

To be grateful for your health, a roof over your head, to have a safe place and enough income to provide for the necessities. Remembering as our income expends often so do our list of necessities. What we truly need is much less than we frequently persuade ourselves we depend on.

Today was a truly Saturday-ish Saturday. A full, and fulfilled day. Beautiful meals prepared at home - a sumptuous yet simple dinner and a decadent breakfast outside with the birds as my background soundtrack. Time in the garden clearing up from the storm in full summer heat, time with my eldest daughter, a local walk observing the dramatic cloud formations, and a soak in the bath with peppermint tea and the rain pattered. Simple perfection. And a brand new day tomorrow… with, dare I say it… more sunshine forecast …

Silver linings before the cyclone

Sat, 11 Feb 2023 08:31:00 GMT

Silver linings

Savoring simple daily pleasures

Our poor waterlogged land is bracing itself for another almighty deluge brought by high winds in the form of Cyclone Gabrielle.

Under more usual circumstances, a cyclone of this magnitude would be frightening enough, but on the back of the huge storm damage suffered the country is on tenterhooks.

I was shocked and saddened to witness the aftermath of panic buying today as I popped in to my local supermarket and green grocers and butchers to buy a few items we would need regardless of weather. Shelves completely empty and great gaps where product deemed essential would have been.

Apart from one or two items- (any bread whatsoever!) I got what we needed and nothing extra. I had just passed a very pleasant couple of hours with a dear friend for a long over due chat and catchup. We sat in a cozy window seat watching the village buzzing past and the strong pre cyclone breeze providing some welcome cool.

But what has been especially lovely these past days is everyone’s sense of concern and care for their communities. Checking in, making sure friends and neighbors are ok, offering help, lending items, giving advice and support. Its heartwarming to see, in the face of such uncertainty - people really do care. They band together to shelter, provide and care.

While schools await further instruction as to if they will open on Monday, students are somewhat comforted by the fact they are in this together. A sense of comradeship which helps to alleviate angst and worry to an extent.

We feel we are waiting…not quite believing it will hit as hard as predicted but being ultra cautious with provisions, plans, preventative measures any way- just in case.

And through all this the unthinkable catastrophe in Turkey and Syria unfolds. More than many of us can comprehend. And still….hope, fellowship. A woman pulled alive after over 100 hours buried in rubble, tiny babies- alive! Fighting to stay with us. The joy and relief on the rescuers faces match by the grief and terror on those waiting to find loved ones.

Humanity is an amazing thing. In amongst the rubble, the bombs, the floods- people care. They are GOOD. They have hope and spirit.

It makes me involuntarily take a literal and mental deep breath. To take stock. to be so grateful for what I have. Not least a safe healthy family and a roof over our heads.

The unctuous smooth comfort of the pillowy pizza dough I made tonight for dinner, the beautiful belated birthday flowers from a friend and the warm gentle glow from a light yoga stretch before getting ready for bed.

As I type the wind is strengthening outside my windows and my scented candle is flickering.

I’m going to run a bath, pop my computer and phone on to charge, and take a few moments to connect with family overseas. To tell them they are in my thoughts and I love them.

I’m going to slip in between my fresh sheets in my safe bed and drift off with a feeling of peace and wellbeing as I listen to the storm grow.

Tomorrow is a brand new day

Contentment in tea

Sat, 04 Feb 2023 08:42:00 GMT

I’ve always enjoyed teas of many varieties. From the idea of “popping the kettle on” to “Makin’ a brew” to high tea in a fine dining establishment or high end hotel.

The anticipation of taking that moment, to choosing what tea cup or mug, a pot, a bag, loose leaf, shared or solitary.

My grandmother was a big tea lady- the whole of that side of my family are pretty significant tea drinkers actually. Served out side during warmer months- after her obligatory “forty winks” siesta or nap, always SPODE blue Italian, always loose leaf in a pot - she preferred a blend of Assam and Lapsang souchong. And unfailingly with a nibble of something deliciously simple and mostly quintessentially English. As I write I can smell the comforting dependable wafts of what my children call - Bacon Tea (Lapsang is smoked and woody and has a very distinctive and strong aroma). IN the winter time tea would be served as we sat on big plush gulumpty sofas around a roaring fire my grandfather tended to. it drew any family who happened to be close by- cousins, Aunty, Uncle pussy cats, dogs- neighbor and villagers. All were welcome. It was just tea, with cake- Grannies chocolate sponge with her version of icing which consisted of melted chocolate poured on top of the cake and dotted with smarties. The milk was in a jug- and more often than not was cream or very nearly. The culture then wasn’t to offer more than that, or to assume it may become wine or aperitifs, it was tea. Convivial and communal - and an essential part of everyday. Throughout the day.

My grandparents mornings- for as long as i can remember - with my Grandfather making the tea as soon as he rose- in colder months re kindling the fire with bellows as the tea brewed. His was ALWAYS in an enormous oversized cup and sauce, grannies was in the more demure Spode, and always accompanied by two rich tea biscuits…and for grannie, always in bed!

I so enjoy taking the time to make tea and savor it. It doesn’t happen every day- and I’m a HUGE coffee girl. Its rare for me to take tea before the afternoon but for many years my days started with Earl Grey- no milk or sugar. I almost always have some kind of tea in the evening - often chamomile, lavender or peppermint- never caffeinated.

I love the ritual and occasion of choosing the serve ware- depending on mood, season, company, and the tea itself. Pairing the tea with whatever afternoon tea treat I may have planned or baked. Paris Earl Grey, Darjeeling, A flavored specialty black tea or a fruit tea.

Tea parties when my girls were little, endless tea parties with various dolls and teddys as guests…and the cat more often than not. I remember making my Mother drink cappuccinos I’d made in the bath with the bubbles!

This week I was able to enjoy a long over due catch up on a rainy afternoon over a pot of tea with a friend here at my home, served in a proper tea pot, on a tray. Simple and elegant but just right. Today, after such an unbelievable week of wild wet weather and the carnage it left in its wake, we took the girls to an adventure park with a friend each for some thrill seeking adrenaline pumping fun- I took a moment- just one, to sit in the shade at the café with a pot of peppermint tea, savoring the moment and feeling so grateful for all of it.

I remember a holiday in Cornwall (one of several each year with my Mother) where we stopped in to visit a friend of hers I didn’t know very well. We were taken on a tour of their beautiful home and shown around the garden where we were offered tea- it was a sizzling hot English summers day, but I have never felt my thirst so quenched as I did that day drinking tea in that beautiful picturesque garden. I remember vividly being astounded that a hot beverage could be so welcome while sitting in the heat of the sun. A turning point in my tea story…and a right of passage to claim to be truly English.

OOOh and Iced tea, freshly brewed at home. Now there’s a though for tomorrow…..

Rain

Sat, 28 Jan 2023 09:41:00 GMT

“Deeper appreciation and deeper awareness of what we value and care for, increases quickly, and in abundance when we are awakened to how fortunate we were to have it in our lives in the first place”

Shannon Ables

I read this tonight as I finally soaked in a somewhat ochre coloured bath after a dramatic, adrenaline fueled and quite extraordinary 24 hours.

As I so often find with my reading material, but especially Shannons, fate, luck or The Lord has it that what I happen to read on a certain day is uncannily apt and so appropriate and relevant to that exact day.

We have just had sever flooding and slips and general devastation from unprecedented rain fall here in Auckland. The likes of which have never been recorded here before. To put an element of perspective on it, I learned on the news this evening that we generally consider 6ml of rain in a single hour “heavy rain” Yesterday we had 72ml in that time.

Roads crumbled and fell away, gardens were converted to rushing brown torrents, intersections were fierce rivers with wheelie bins and cars bobbing about in them. Our own garden suffered considerable damage with our pretty trickling stream charging over its banks, taking grit, boulders, mud, logs and heavy garden furniture with it while carving a new path through our lawn and pushing our retaining wall over by a good meter. Breathtaking, frightening and in a way Awesome- in its true sense of the word. The sheer force of the water to carry such debris, push past anything in its way or take it too.

Heartwarmingly the sense of community was enormous. Many texts and messages- before and after we lost power, people bailing out neighbours, scraping drains with spades, directing traffic, offering advise and alternative routes, checking on wellbeing, seeing where help was needed most. Both last night as the storm raged and in the humid still of this morning as the neighborhood- and indeed the city, woke to survey the extent of the damage, the flooding, the aftermath. The predominant sounds of cars driving through rivers of water and sirens near and far.

Tragically, some lost their lives. But most came together. helped, pitched in, donned gum boots and brushes and walked out to do what was needed.

It has been a long day, we have helped neighbors’ and community, strangers and friends- not one person complained. no one was cross or angry or bitter. it was a privilege to witness such humanity, such support, kinship and comradery.

Much of the mess is still there, more rain is to come, but people have done what they can. To secure, make safe, clean and minimize.

Family and friends have reached out to check in and send love.

I am so very grateful to have my home still, my cozy bed, electricity and my family safely here.

Our garden may be scared, but compared to many, our damage in minimal. But my heart is full.

There is still so much good in the world among the chaos , we just have to look for it.

I am ready to savor my inviting bed, begin reading a new book, and look forward to a fresh new day tomorrow.

Turning a situation around

Fri, 20 Jan 2023 08:22:00 GMT

I had a moment today. I could feel it building and my emotions running high- due to a myriad of reasons but lack of sleep a huge contributor.

My husband is currently over seas, my eldest is away with a friend, so for a few days its been just me and our younger daughter.

Mostly, (apart from the slightly empty panic I always feel after an airport goodbye) it’s actually been quite relaxed and we’ve enjoyed each others company and little rituals we’ve developed just for the few days. The weather has finally brought us summer back so we’ve been eating al fresco, taking evening walks together, snuggling up early in my bedroom for quiet time before bed and having a gentle time.

I never sleep well when my husband is away- which is very infrequently luckily, but after a VERY early start to get him to the airport a few days ago, then disturbed sleep and waking even earlier than usual, my longed for bank of 8 hour restorative sleeps was lost, and my emotions ran high.

When I awoke at 4.30am I’d already reasoned with myself I didn’t have to run today, to listen to my body- it’s important not to let fitness routines slip often, but equally important to embrace a gentler day occasionally. So I pottered down to the deck with my nightdress and a shawl, fed the cats, made coffee and finished my book as the sun rose and grew warmer. My favorite time of day. I was trying to be mindful and nurture myself, I changed after finishing my book and did some Yoga and took a shower. Good. right track. I can do this…..

I was also SO hungry. Unusually hungry- Famished! Which I’ve been battling of late and is out of character- especially in the mornings. So I prepared my self a substantial breakfast of “not quite” oatmeal with lots of added goodness and protein and fats to try and build my self back up- I always find a highly increased apatite when I’m over tired. (That and a niggly sore throat- first signs I’m running too low)

It doesn’t matter what the final trigger was (A sunscreen incident that did NOT warrant my over reaction)

But shortly after my giant breakfast and coffee I lost my temper and got very tearful and emotional. Totally unnecessarily so. My Poor darling girl got the brunt of it- although very short lived with much hugging and apologizing afterwards.

Anyway, I was still in a bit of a state and highly emotional as we left to go to our local beach with one of my daughter friends. In fact tears were streaming down my face as I sat in the car. Something was a miss.

Almost instantaneously as we parked and found a spot on the beach my anxiety and state began to ebb away. We found a grassy spot with the sparkling shore line not far from our toes, lay down and allowed the suns rays to beat down on us.

I was then able to think clearly, breath deeper, and even analyze somewhat why I’d reacted so.

After a while of baking myself and reading I left the girls chatting happily and took a walk to the end of the beach and back. At the furthest point there was not another sole and only dots of people in the far distance and a few silhouettes of fisherman on the wharf beyond the rocks where I stood.

I stayed there for several long moments taking deep, conscious breaths. Watching the gulls, listening to the gentle waves and the trickle of the waterfall behind me. All was well. My lungs filled and my heart soared.

Now, these blog posts are to uplift and inspire primarily - so this is not intended to be a tale of woe or bring you down. It is about taking the time if you can, (And you must sincerely try) to acknowledge your triggers, making space- physically and mentally to accept and deal with them, and finding all the wonderful things still very much present to be so grateful for. To appreciate. To savor.

I was disappointed in myself as I felt I was letting my self down with such a fierce and gloomy reaction. But to flip it the other way - it was quite incredible that I was able to flip it around so quickly - from sitting in a hot car in 32 degrees with tears gathering at the bottom of my sunglass lenses, to feeling rejuvenated, alive and full of hope and promise- within less that an hour.

Moments before I took the walk I happened upon a quote in the novel I was reading that had come to my attention through no less than 3 different paths in just a few days- a clear message for me.

“If one advances confidently, in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours” Thoreau in WALDEN

If that’s not a sign to stay positive and keep striving forward, I don’t know what is.

The change of environment was an enormous part of that healing and calming process. A big lesson for me. I was also able to reflect and be honest with my self about things that were troubling me before the tiredness had its unwanted affect. Things I wasn’t quite acknowledging or allowing space. Too hard. Too unpleasant. Some resentment even.

A dip in the ocean at the end of my beach walk was so refreshing and almost cathartic. physically and symbolically washing away those feeling and starting a fresh.

So when I took another walk later in the afternoon I was able to process and deal with those issues, decide on resolutions or ways to alleviate or solve them. So now, I sit here on my deck as the light fades, listing to soft jazz drifting out of the house, after enjoying a sumptuous meal I thoroughly enjoyed preparing and savoring, waiting for my daughter to arrive home - and I’m feeling boyant. Hopeful, positive. tomorrow is full of promise.

Now some peppermint tea and a shower to was the salt, sand and sunscreen off before- I sincerely hope, a restful, long sleep.

Bon Nuit

A minor wobble, and how fast the year flew

Mon, 16 Jan 2023 23:35:00 GMT

I had a minor wobble this week- just momentary, but it got me thinking.

I had a birthday a few days ago - which although the number itself wasn’t particularly significant, really made me take note of how fast the last year flew by. Having recently begun my 2023 diary and taken a minute to re read what I’d written as goals in my last years diary made me realize even more deeply that, time flies.

Don’t let it. Hold on to it a savor the present.

As a child I was so eager to grow up. I couldn’t wait to be old enough to have my ears pierced, drive, write a cheque (!) wear high heels and lipstick. Well, now at the tender age of forty something I can say to my youthful list - check, check, check and check. (Although I don’t write cheques anymore as they are obsolete!)

But I am choosing to look for all the good things yet to come, and anticipate, accomplish and achieve- with some good heath, luck and God’s will, I am only half way though my life, and in so many ways we have done such an enormous amount so far, what’s to stop us learning, developing, growing and continuing to reach for the future- for the next however many decades we are graced to be here!?

My Grandmother started learning the Italian Language well into her 80’s.

Only our minds, and maybe eventually our bodies, can limit us. Doubting yourself is normal, letting it stop you is a choice.

I am excited to embark on this new chapter, new season of my life. I cant wait to immerse myself in my writing, to finally get my written word out there in some capacity, to enjoy my growing and increasingly independent children, to take overseas trips and adventures with my husband or a dear friend, to cultivate a garden which flourishes, to SAVOR my simple routines and pleasures - like daily walks, preparing a decadent sophisticated meal, taking a bubble bath, enriching my knowledge and reading lists.

We have the power to CHOOSE to be optimistic, and positive about the years ahead of us. to take our lives and lead them to where we wish to go, not just allow them to unfold and accept them for what they are, but to have the courage to make change, go after a dream, and believe in ourselves.

None of these things come without some inevitable worry, angst even, apprehension - but nothing can change in the direction we wish to go, just by willing it to happen. We have to work- to earn it. We have to in some ways embrace the fears and let them present themselves so we can be brave, and over come them.

“Doubts in your mind are a much greater road block to success than obstacles’ on your journey”

I’d do well to remember this too….

“The worst enemy to creativity is self doubt” SYLVIA PLATH

Savor and save: my words for 2023

Tue, 10 Jan 2023 21:43:00 GMT

Savor/ Save

These are the words I have chosen to inspire, propel and guide me through this year, 2023.

To take the moments to savor, enjoy and appreciate my life and to earnestly save in all capacities.

Save financially- I have some fairly lofty, but achievable, financial goals this year- if I can be consistent and disciplined. I want to make it work- I want to relish the freedom it affords to know certain things are not hanging over me, to know there’s rainy day money, and future proofing. I also know I am capable of being disciplined enough - I have already achieved goals that, for me, were pretty huge; giving up alcohol entirely, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle and regular exercise regimen.

I also want to be mindful of wastage- I’m generally pretty good at using what food and fresh produce we have - but I can definitely be more frugal, and more mindful. I’d like to grow more in terms of herbs and other vegetables we can enjoy from the garden. In the past I’ve been guilty of both successfully growing plenty of what we wont eat, or enthusiastically planting seedlings to pretty much abandon them and leave them to fend for them selves. My Grandfather- an exceptional green fingered gentleman, would not be impressed.

I’m looking forward to introducing a new regular routine of seeking out the local Farmers Markets on a Saturday, or walking up to the Village to enjoy a coffee and bringing home the newspaper and some fresh croissants from the exceptional Bakery. Supporting local. And I believe if I’ve invested my time and money in seeking these higher quality items, I will use them differently, give them greater regard than something I shopped online for from a vast grocery store chain, (possiblyincluding produce from Zimbabwe, Australia, Holland)- which was then delivered to my porch. That I didn’t even choose myself from the selection in front of me.

Needs must of course, and I became proficient and a frequent user of on line grocery ordering when I was working full time and didn’t want my precious weekend taken up with a busy, stressful, supermarket trip: and then from necessity during the pandemic and lockdowns. It most definitely has its place. But I’m more than ready for it to take a less prominent one now. As long as I don’t over buy because it looks so inviting and romantic or evocative of a rural existence- I must only purchase what we’ll use/ need- and enjoy and SAVOR observing what else is on offer and displayed.

Wastage with consumerism too- being mindful of buying things on a whim, clothing that’s just on special but I don’t really have space or need for. Another candle. Something that catches my eye at the grocery store, an item someone has that I impulsively decide I’d like too.

I would like to work on moderation and PATIENCE; saving for something and anticipating it, rather than more often than not, my burning desire to have it then and there. And how often does the sparkle and lure of that thing- whatever it was that we HAD to have, dull very quickly, and we don’t desire it as much? In fact, it invariably becomes clutter or in a donation pile, It wasn’t carefully considered and thought though. It was impulsive. I really need to work on that. Really. Ask my Husband.

I took a lovely walk with a friend and colleague this week, and we discussed the merits of waiting and not paying full price. If you have some patience and foresight, if you can keep a little record of what you need for upcoming seasons with regards to your wardrobe in particular, what needs replacing, where there’s a gap, you can be fairly savvy when it comes to buying on sale and waiting until items are reduced - or making big purchases during big sale discount weekend like Black Friday or Boxing Day sales. It so happened that my friend and I had both purchased the same beautiful, high quality, wool coat- in different colour’s, (in a classic trench style, therefore seemingly a wise investments as it’s timeless) and within two to three months it was reduced by a whopping 60%!! On a big ticket item that’s a huge saving. And would have been well worth the wait.

I am consciously being more mindful with my time and savoring precious moments. So often we don’t realize how precious they are until they’re gone. This may simply be a quite moment enjoying coffee and watching a kingfisher on his branch from your deck, taking deep breaths of fresh air, listening to the rain fall as you cozily read in bed, or watching your child tear open their Christmas stocking, the magic of Christmas twinkling around them, knowing one day, they’ll be part of that magic in a different way. They’ll grow up.

Savoring simple daily pleasures

Thu, 05 Jan 2023 03:47:00 GMT

Improving the quality of our everydays by shifting our perceptions of what they offer us.

Time to breathe, time to savor and time to notice all the little things around us. It’s so easy to get bogged down, not look up from the treadmill of our hectic schedules, and forget to take a moment, to notice, appreciate, savor and allow ourselves to be enchanted by lifes wonderful and plentiful delights and pleasures.

One of my most favorite rituals at this time of year is to wake up when my body is ready- (I’m an early bird so this is usually well before 6am), I take a few moments to watch the trees from my bed and listen to the birdsong of the dawn chorus, then I head down stairs, greet my cats and give them breakfast, take a long drink of water, then take coffee outside on the deck- usually with my husband, and begin to let the day unfold. Feeling the breeze, the freshness and promise of a brand new day, watching the birds busily twitter and flitter- taking time to observe their habits and take some time to savor my coffee, my home and this moment.

Its so uplifting, and makes me feel as tho anything is possible- which it absolutely is! It sets me up mentally for the days tasks- feeling excited and enthused to enjoy every moment.

Now, I live in the real world, as do you; and it is impossible to be happy ALL day- ALL the time- but its much less impossible, in fact its really very possible, to feel grateful, grounded and CONTENTED for much of it.

We just need to train ourselves to shift our perceptions, find opportunities, and appreciate simple pleasures- like my piping hot espresso watching the native birds, or climbing into freshly laundered sheets at the end of a full and productive day. Im currently typing while a summer rain storm lashes at the open windows and the strong gusts of wind whistle through. I couldn’t feel more contented. This moment, right now, is perfect. It’s exactly where I’m meant to be.

I’m continuously having to remind myself and retrain myself to honor these precious pauses.

I’ve learnt the hard way that not allowing myself a breath of air, some time with a book, enjoying a pot of tea or a rejuvenating green juice- results in debilitating stress on my mind and body. You can absolutely do it all- you just cant do everything at once. Life is made up of these moments - of everyday rituals and habits and chores- they all string together to make our life story- many more of them compile who we are than the big momentous events, as grand and as important as they are. Our every days are just that. Every day.

Take a moment, right now, and look up, look around you. There will be something to be grateful for, to inspire you, to point you in the direction of what true contentment means for you, and the path you need to follow to arrive there.