How many pets do you have?

I can’t tell if this is a metaphor or not? Your dream to learn Chinese doesn’t have to die if you ignore it for a few years, but if you did that to a living breathing animal…
It is a metaphor. ☺ — Derek

Like the metaphor of pets. I think I certainly do fill up my life with pets (aka things to do) to avoid thinking and processing where I am in life. Thanks for a lovely read. Take care. Waving from Hong Kong!

This is wonderful...and spot on for what I needed to read tonight. Thank you!

Lovely!! I very much enjoy your thoughts / writing
Hope you’re well,
Marcella

When I was married we always had 2-3 dogs. No I’m
Single and I’ll the peace. I imagine having a dog but I’m away from the house during the day and that seems unfair. My daughter has been with me all summer with her dog and I’ve given in to the house being a mess with the dog , the student daughter and lots of love.
Jdf
Ps.
I’d like for u to hear my new EP I’m Starting To Bleed.

Perhaps that pet that kept on coming back considered you as HER pet.🐿️

yer pen pal keeps come'in back,,always awesome to hear from ya, my apology fer not writing u lately, hope u missed my once in awhile short emails, another pet pal who came back...

Hi Derek
Chloe is my furry little friend- she is a small maltipoo
I love her.

I hear ya. For me, they usually appear and let me know it was supposed to happen. I tried to resist but nature was in control. Spinning wheels is a problem for me that is helped by increasing my balance.

GOOD DOG

As the idea of you reached fruition, genetic makeup tumbled
through space like dice, with volitional intention.
This idea landed here with black & white markings.
The opposite of that considered normal.

Outlines of black with white, trace the marking of that which
defines you. That which defines you here in the confines concrete
and wood.

A definition of marking - not masking. Not defining you, but
presenting you with a smiling face, a wet tongue, and a tail wagging
at the end of your body.
A body that contains a simple soul - the essence of love.

A body that creates movement, like art, like smiles, frowns,
Scratching and, his tail wagging at the end of infinity.

Nice additional moral of the story at the very end, and not just additional but almost/not quite the inverse of the main one, there's always an upside, always a down, peace.

Could "pets" be an analogy for other loves? As a male divorcee, for women perhaps? Or as a musician, for so many of the obsessions that can distract us from our points of focus, from effects pedals through to new bands or mouthpieces?

well played maestro

I had 7 or 8 cats about 10 or 15 years ago. Now I'm down to 1 (Bluey with 1 blue eye and one yellow green eye). At least cats don't need as much attention as dogs. But they still do need and give back some. r

Love this post as much as "Hell Yes or No!" So, Derek, what's the favorite pet...what can we expect?

Oh, can I be your pet? Ha
What a great thought!

We have three cats and love them all!

I have tended to always have a small circle of friends, my family. When I got just one little pooch, I was not as available for social activities. It was a blessing because that one little dog helped me to become a more loving human being. Since I'd never had kids it awoke much in me to be so committed to an animal that I realized I not only owed her a good home and good food and exercise. I owed her a good life. We did a lot with my friends and she became something special in their lives too. I'm glad one kept coming back to you.

Well said, Derek. I’m trying to set some things free: my film that’s been in post for 2 years, my 8th album that still needs to be mastered, my real estate license I’ve done nothing with and have zero passion for, the list goes on and on. I just want to tend my garden and be healthy and love my living pets but I can’t let these other things die and they’ve been even more neglected when I handed them over to others to tend.

Your story or poem, as i would call it, was lovely, sad, nostalgic, and perhaps too realistic! The pet that kept coming back was probably meant to be with you, to cherish, and upon which to lavish your love unchallenged!

Please keep sharing your talents with us mortals to enjoy, Derek!

Stay safe and healthy!

Joan

I don’t often see you do allegories… interesting one.

Love it. Thanks. Of course, dying to know which pet stayed.

Great read, I connected to this but with my guitars. I have collected many guitars over the years searching for just the right one. A few summers ago I picked up a guitar that was much less valuable than many of my others, but I kept coming back to it. Today it is my main instrument and I have written many songs on it. Sometimes it is through the searching that our true loves are discovered.

Yes that which comes back to you is true. Life is magical in that way.

If you love someone
Set them free
If they come back to you
It was meant to be

Derek, your pet analogy pleasantly surprised me.
The older I get, the less those kinds of things happen, so thank you for that little gift and a
very nice article.

very nice analogy ! pet projects are so hard to let go of, even when they no longer seem within reach.

Is your blog the last pet that keeps coming back? I wonder...

I have zero pets

Omg I can’t sleep, what was the last pet? This blog? ☺

Hahahaha, just what Ive been thinking about lately. Trying to sell off some instruments, love them all its so hard but necessary!

Wonderful piece! I loved the surprise, “oh that’s what he’s talking about!” And as always, so short and sweet, you do that so well. I relate to the need to let go of projects and dreams that don’t get enough attention but drag on my focus and energy. It had a zen-wack effect on me, made me think of some specific dreams I need to release to the wild. I read it out loud to two friends I was with when it came in. We all sat and smiled as the sun was going down.

But I most relate to your piece in another way: the idea of the songs I have written and write as being like pets. They all must be set free. Some of them go away on their own, and there is no need to call them back or hunt them down. The ones that return again and again or the ones I write in the moment must be recorded in a way that honors them and loves them. They don’t really feel like they are mine. It feels like what I need to do to die in peace, and I don’t know when I will die so there is an urgency. It could be someone else recording them, or it could be I find it on a live recording from 25 years ago and that releases it when it is somehow archived. Your piece helped me see that I only need to honor the very, very best of them. Thank you! 😊

"ARF"!

Just listen.

Get a Traveling pet ?
:)

"Reality always prevails and is always one." In the western world we are educated to multiplication and they make us believe since we arrived in the world that this is synonymous with abundance when in reality it is a mirage. The economy of means and the purification of "a single project" exalt the human being in all it´s dimensions. It especially exalts his soul. Thanks Derek. Warmest regrads!

My guide taught me to stop up all the holes my attention flowed thru an have all my focus coming out my 3rd eye.

Think this is same thing...

As energy goes so does our emergy focus flow...pets etc. an its our choice where our energy flows!

Sir Isaac Newton remained celelibate to keep his genius focused.

Simply put…..beautiful.

I have 24 adopted dogs and 1 cat. I could not give one away to save my life. This is a lifetime commitment. Granted none of them suffer because I have 4 dedicated (dog caretakers) employees on the farm that walk them twice a day, brush their teeth and hair. They get fish oil, specialty foods and plenty of attention. Everyone of them get attention from me daily and the staff here.

We all live here together so I can imagine that without the staff it would be impossible. Also three homes on the property, so they are not all in my place 24/7. They are my family and I would feel life a complete failure if I sent even one of them away. Although at times I (my wife more than me) do think we are crazy for taking on this lifestyle. I create this life and she get stuck with its management.

They are much smarter that we give them credit for and their is a special feeling they receive from knowing that I would put my life on the line to protect everyone of them. I save them and they rescue me right back.

The wanting is usually more important than the having. Wanting is something you learn to maintain. Allowing some wanting leaves some room for finding focus.

I have zero pets at present! In the past? I have had a dog and before that my brother's dog and before that a cat! And some fish as well. Do they count? Oh and a few birds, parakeets and a canary. Did you know that they whistle in a very melodic manner? It's almost like music. Anyway, I am at present considering getting a dog again.

You can give what you can handle. It's hurting to give enough to make them want more and refuse them. Think of the psychological effect of hurt as physical. The touch is emotional response they consider being loved. Then refusing it or ignoring is damaging. Defeating your purpose ,of having a pet for them and you!

That is so relevant to what I'm going through these days. Thank you!

"HONEY YOU CAN'T LOVE TWO....."
www.youtube.com/gullickhal

No pets at present and previously only one at a time (cats since you so kindly asked ☺ ).

I was, however, very tempted to replace the word 'pet' with the word 'book' throughout. I suspect it would well and (for me at least) more appropriately!

Stay well all.

I have been responsible for many pets over the years because they needed to be cared for and if I didnt who else would? Some were valid early on... but instead of releasing them to someone who could do them just as well or better after a time, I soldiered on. It divided my energy so much it made it hard to focus on the pet that I truly enjoyed.
Very interesting metaphor.
Thank you for sharing

Nice metaphor, I'm glad to have read this ... I'll be chewing on the notion (like a pet cow her cud) for a while. Thank you.

Hi Derek, thank you for your compelling allegory. I can teach you to speak Chinese! Take my 2 minute Crash Course in Mandarin Chinese. Over the phone here in Ottawa, Canada we can chat. To start I’ll teach you to say a greeting, introduce yourself, then exclaim ‘awesome’, all in mandarin. Much easier then you think. Do call me. Sincerely, ‘Chairman’ George Sapounidis (40 concert tours of China)

Interesting timing as I just adopted a foster puppy. Now I have four dogs - again.
Two old beloved dogs, a one year old orphan I took in when she was 11 weeks & as of tomorrow her new playmate kid brother. Prepping for the future.

Not a metaphor for anything. I just love my “kids”. They are companions, yet self sufficient, beautiful, loving, great protection & fun. And very popular in my world. The young ones jostle while the senior citizens can sit back and watch them play & just train them as needed, tossing in some “alpha” behavior as needed.

Rounding your life with the animal kingdom brings tranquility as well as joy.

Nicely put. Now I wonder which 'pet' came back that you are spending time with/on. hmmmm....

Hahaha, I am still trying to let go of 2 pairs of expense boots that are too small for me, can’t wear them anymore. I’ve moved them to the spare room. Let gooooooo! Maybe after reading this, maybe.

Don't let go of this pet - your blog.


It'd be nice if you can even create more rich media insightful content. Always looking forward to the wisdom you put out onto the internet. :)

Love this, Derek. I believe the notion of sticking with things. Letting projects grow slowly and tending to them. But every now and then I get swept up in the romanticism of a new business venture, with all the commitments that entails. There's a real maturity and discipline that comes with being able to pump the brakes on opportunities that could take your life to the "next level" if you only committed - but often that's an illusion. Things take time, and your existing projects are probably closer to that reality than you think. The question is which pets? You do change and grow - and taking risks is a big part of life and adventure. I'm not sure.

So which one kept coming back? I'm not the only one with a curious mind.

Thanks for sharing with us. It matters.

Derek, like you, I have loved all my pets deeply, yet am a steadfast single dog owner for most of my life. I don’t feel whole without one, and still have time for learning Spanish, writing songs, touring and adventure travel. Having just returned from a horse pack trip into the Yellowstone wilds and left her behind, my dog relished the smells and knew she was always with me. Having one completes my family.

Ayup.

I get it. I did the same at the end of last year, concentrating on writing over everything else. Then I found I had "subpets" as there were many writing projects I wanted to work on. I decided on one, a 12-issue comic script, with an occasional break to bang out a short story to send out to magazines when the script starts to wander away from me. I nurture the short story, release it, and pick up another until the script wanders back. Issue 1 took me years to finish before I made my decision to give my other pets away. I've written 7 issues since January.

Thank you for the reminder

I am in love with my brilliant ideas - projects - each special, unique and worthy -yet so little time. A little love here, then there results in progress with one for a little while, then another when I change focus and so on. Yet how do we decide which to let go? So hard!

Loved thinking about this and the idea of allowing them to go and perhaps the right one will reveal itself.

Thank you

“…came home, and cleaned the house…”. That resonates with me, because I think I used my “pets” to avoid cleaning the house! So much to do— reading, knitting, even my music. And for the past few years, I’ve been searching real estate listings in several cities, looking for the perfect house in the perfect place. I gradually realized that what I liked most about the listings was how clean and uncluttered they were, and that if I got my own house that clean (which I would have to do if I sold it, anyway), I probably wouldn’t want or need to move. So I have begun a real deep clean and clear out. I see the real estate search more as a hobby now. with much less time devoted to it. I guess once I have my house in the condition of those listings I love, I could actually move. But I don’t think I’ll need to or want to.

How did you know to send me this at just the right time Derek ? I'm literally juggling all sorts of initiatives and cant figure out which to focus on. Thank you

I really did have a lot of pets at one time & am now down to one. No metaphor. My only thought is that none of them would have survived being released into the wild but I see your metaphor's point. lol

You somehow have the ability to tell a simple story with a profound insight. I really love it. Thank you for sharing

Made me want to cry, in that happy sad way like at the end of watching Spirited Away. Thanks for sharing Derek.

Ah, right now I remind my childhood.

Not sure why... but this reminded me of the book "The One Thing" by
Gary Keller.

Amazing book... and it reminded me that LESS is MORE most of the time.

Hehehehe
I am glad God never felt this way. He watches over all of us and never wants us to leave him or stop loving him.
Yes we live with 12 cats now in the house but I am finding out that they are all like little kids. If we gave them away it would be like losing a family member.
God in heaven feels the same way…it’s all about the love we give them.
The God that created our universe loves us. That is why everyday is a new beginning.
Never give another animal up…they have feelings too.

Marty

I start out with so much passion for my latest endeavours, and once they have reached fruition the love I have for them starts to disappear. I notice the time it takes, and it makes me tired, until I reach the next great idea. I see my projects through, but it’s always the next great idea that excites me.

I’ve run recording sessions with our best session guys, run Songwriters Helping Songwriters (I’d invite famous songwriters to workshop other songwriters material) record my own material and once it’s done take little joy in performing it. Frequently I’ve asked myself ‘why am I like this?’ But I can not change it. We are who we are, and we must work with that and if possible enjoy it! Ha ha

It’s like magic…

Achieving goals and the transformation it can bring doesn’t always come from what you add... it often comes from what you subtract.

SIMPLIFY

Which often means “to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak”. -Hans Hofmann

It often seems counterintuitive, I get it. But the truth is when you simplify, when you strip down to the bear essence of the achievement and transformation you’re after and rid yourself of the distractions and complications they bring, you often find that the achievement and transformation you’re after is right in front of you. It was there all along, waiting for you (and me) to get out of our own way.

Complexity is death in many of life’s activities, especially in business,
Smplicity scales.

One note: Complex doesn't always mean complicated. The goal is to discover the 'overly complicated' which has the possibility of being made more simple.

Simplification is one of the most difficult things you’ll ever attempt to do, but when effectively accomplished will be one of the most beneficial and rewarding.

Before you add, simplify and consider the magic of subtraction.

ok, I’m off to work on simplifying this answer should I have the opportunity to talk about it again, I fear I’ve made it more complex than it needed to be. ☺

had a dream about a dog last night. it was a big dog, and we were in town, so i had to get a lead, and i went in a shop and they only had leads for little dogs, so i said haven't you got a proper lead for a proper dog? and she pointed to a rough old lead, but it was so frayed it was going to break, i said that's no good, and then i looked and the dog was gone, so i tried to call for it, but couldn't remember its name, racking my brain to remember, i was panicked, and then a friendly little dog came, who was also one of our dogs, and i thought oh i'd forgotten about you, what are you doing here.. so now, what's your name.. aaand then i woke up. some girl next door shrieking and laughing round the pool going "we don't care, we don't give a s***, we don't care, we don't..." *really loud*, at a really shrieky pitch. so i thought >:-/ "what time is it? what's her problem? could she be any more annoying?" ah only 1am. ... sat down to watch a bit of tv. too tired. girl still making a noise. are they plying teenagers with booze? back to bed, and then i wake up this morning, cat miaowing at me, "oi it's time for you to wake up and give me some food", saw your post, thinking no he didn't really have that many pets, it's a metaphor. unless he was freakish about snakes and things like that. no no no it's a zen thing about focus. .. but what was the dog called?

Hi Derek, I loved your obeservation, "Although each goodbye was sad, it opened up more space. I enjoyed the freedom and feeling unconflicted."

I think the point of life is just that. Feel at home with everything all the time.

Hope you and your kid are well.

Prabu Rajasekaran

Hi Derek, I hope you're well! Man, thanks for this! It couldn't be more timely for me! I have 2 band projects I'm working on...beach party music and hard rock music. I know that I have to choose between the 2 to give one my full attention. The problem is this: I've been a rock guy my whole life and I've never taken my own band out on the road in support of our own album. On the other hand, everyone seems love the beach music when I'm at the beach...it's totally unique and very marketable. I'm having a hard time putting one style aside to focus on the other. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Thanks, Clark

Kids’ll do that to ya!

In a way it’s a “trade off”, since commitment almost always
comes with some form of sacrifice.
I have one German Shepherd, whom I love dearly,
and although aware of the restrictions “imposed” by
sharing your life with a large breed dog, still believe
that having the brotherly love of a K9 is irreplaceable,
and precious, and that compared to it - limitations are
insignificant.

Inspiring read - difficult to let anything go that you love but an uncluttered life for me is merely a phase you're currently walking through, it will get cluttered again...

My only comment is that this article appeared right on time for me.

Thanks for this. It got me thinking about focus, capacity (how much is too much?) and endings— particularly the fact that our "pets" typically have shorter life-spans than we do. It can be difficult for us to acknowledge the end of anything (or anyone) we have any meaningful relationship with. With this metaphor in mind, dedicating ourselves to any particular pet(s) may well not preclude any investment in any other pets for all time. Just for the amount of time that they remain "alive" for us.

Something like "be where you are, until you know you need to be somewhere else."

Thanks for sharing, Derek. Wishing you well. Also, best wishes for the pet that kept coming back. ;)

Are you still involved in music?
No. A previous draft of this had “making music” in the list. — Derek

You're not just talking about pets, are you? I am reminded of the song Mrs Toad's Cookies. The lyrics to the chorus are "Good is good and bad is bad / As any baker knows / But too much good can be as sadly sad / as too much bad you know.

I have a funny actual pet story. Today, one of my 2 dogs (these are not business ventures but the real type of dog with 4 legs and a busy nose), did the longest bum drag I"ve ever seen..... about 10 metres. Man did I laugh, best laugh I've had since my mates 40th 2 weeks when his dad just destroyed us with a hilarious yarn.... anyway.... I digress..... laughing is so so good for us...... back to what you are ACTUALLY talking about.... I've just released a metaphorical elephant from my portfolio, and HECK it feels good.... then another pet sparrow from years gone by pops up... he's welcome now, and I think I'll nurture him for a month or so, then give him away to someone.... how do you elicit such creative thoughts Derek? I'll never know but heck I'm glad you came along.....regards and love

"When you commit to one thing, and let go of the rest, you feel free."
...said a wise man in a recent book. And your life's "earworm" is ... ?

We are slaves of our desires. Our job is to choose a good lord to be slaved.

I always look forward to your articles.
As always, outside the box thinking.
Thanks

Intriguing story, Derek.
I enjoyed the stretching of the image until it took on a new form.
I have my back turned to lost dreams gathering dust, but hold them in abeyance.
I can only manage three at a time.
My best always,
T

I constantly have to remind myself that I can have several pets. Just one after another. I can have one pet for years and then another one.
I'm pretty sure I learned this from you? I guess so. THanks ☺

Well stated. I enjoy your articles. Great to hear from you Derek.

Enjoyed it buddy...., nice work....!!!

Once you give up many good stuff, you'll have more space to welcome the great one to come!

And that pet that won't go away is coding I guess, Derek?

Or is it writing?

Or is it music?

Has to be one of these three, knowing you for such a long time

Enjoyed ready this piece! Is the last pet who keeps coming back writing? :)

Oh Derek, soooo many pets. It's very liberating to set them free. And you're right, one or two keep coming back. They bring joy and add value and love me as much as I love them. My whanau love them too.

Nice one Derek.

Oh I see what you did there….. but now I am seriously thinking about letting my children battle it out to see which one gets to stay. :)

Thank you for taking time and energy to put this together - I appreciate the lovely gesture.

I too have many pets - over the years have worked to give them to others. Kevin (kelly) has an interesting idea around his pets and trying to give them away and only working on the ones he can't give away.

Great story to highlight the need to focus.
I used to tell my children that they could do anything they wanted to but not everything.
Let go of the ‘just interested in’’ and immerse yourself in the ‘what I’m passionate about’’

BW
Oz
Yacht Eclipse
Currently in
Lagos Marina
PT

reading comments and wondering how many people were thinking Derek was naked in here. sive.rs/clothes

Hi Derek,

Metaphor or not... I find it interesting that you use a pet (an animal with a heart beat and emotions) to "blame for getting in the way of an interest... learning Chinese, etc" Having too many children can do the same thing. Neglect one while taking care of the other.

We've given up all pets except for the one that one's me. A parrot that will probably outlive me. Sure, I can't give it all the time it needs. I don't give my wife or daughter all the time they need. I don't fulfill a lot of my dreams, but I live with the hope that my pet will still sit on my shoulder and coo, my daughter will call and tell me she loves me despite my not calling everyday to talk with her, and my wife will hold my hand at night and say she loves me... even if she's pissed off at me for some stupid thing I did. Notice a pattern. Things with heartbeats and emotions care about you whether you are constantly attentive to them all the time or not. Things that are accomplishments are just badges you wear as accomplishments learning a language, building a house, writing a book, just feed an ego.

We're not perfect. But caring for something and having them caring back are a different kind of badge.

By the way the parrot owns me... I don't own her.

Cheers!

Joe

Such a nice metaphor. I was just thinking this morning about how hard it is for me not to be a donkey. And then I read this! I have the same pets plus a few more. When I see them as having a 3-year life span, I don't have to let them go. But yes, gotta have them one by one, not all at once. That's the hard part.

So what pet project kept coming back?? You can’t just leave us hanging like that Derek. 😩

This broke my heart a little. Although I understand and agree to this it still hurts to let go of things I'm not ready to. Letting go gracefully is something I'm still learning how to do.

Dear Derek, I love your posts, books, and your generous spirit. DaVinci once wrote that simplicity is the ultimate form of sophistication. I just want to express my genuine gratitude. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Thank you for sharing your love. Thank you for sharing your spirit. I hope wherever you are that you are appreciated with much love. Thank you for being you.

Does not resonate. I dread the thought of taking on anything new. At this young and learned age, when considering any new directions, I think about all the components it involves and then multiply it by how much I don't know. Then I consider how little free time I already have and simply delegate to somebody who can do it better.

Derek,

You are keeping us all in suspense. Which pet came back?

I am reminded of the words of a very wise scholar 'Hell yeah, or no'

I once read about a dinner, enterpreneurs such as warren buffet, bill gates and many others attented.

warren buffet asked bill gates: 'what was the crucial factor that allowed you to do what you did?'

the answer was one word: FOCUS

I would even go further in the examples in your metaphor:
- how many 'things' you have that all grab some attention?
car, house... both need maintance.
apps on your phone, technical gadgets in general... need updates, etc.
..etc etc ;)

- how much 'decision time' do you spend on daily decisions, such as standing in the grocery store and deciding what cereals you buy (..let alone 'what do I cook today')..?


...you get the idea.
personally, I have found the less of such things I have in my life, the more productive I am.

a calm life is a productive life, I believe.

and it hasn't anything to do with how much money one makes: personally, I find the best thing is to have lots of money - and don't need it.

martin from switzerland ;)

In reading these comments, I have to wonder how many people actually read your post? But I appreciate the sentiment as I am only now, at age 59, realizing that I can do many things I love, just not everything♥️

I love selective opportunity to commiserate with my friend's pets. The marvel of the male canine that receives your arrival with all the enthusiasm of a surprise visit from Lola Falana. Referring to their Red Tabby as "Mata Hari" or "Kat Kardashian"--names that have come to mean synonymous with terms such as: thoughtfulness, loyalty, and positively gracious--should I require your immediate attention and action. Perhaps the highest honor given by her Excellency:The unforgettable cat-butt right in your face--paying unique homage to The Who's Masterpiece,"See Me, Smell Me." Exhilarating topic, Derek.How many pets do I have? According to my latest evaluation....none. Pet projects, you say? As many as I can manage that through proper council, have the highest potential to be worth all of the toil and sweat. With all sincerity and a big St. Bernard lick to your face.....j Foster Nashville, TN

Hi Derek

I think the alternatives are far worse. Imagine if you never took on a pet project due to procrastination and fear. Or you took on a project, fell out of love with it, but kept it around like a millstone for the rest of forever.

Having a good crack at something, then giving it away as soon as you realize it is not for you. That is a great way to be.

But for some variety is the spice of life and having just one "pet" would become boring.

I have a wonderful beagle called Kygo and 3 rats

Really nice article Derek, I really feel you, I have been releasing pets as well in the last few years, and still have some to release. It hurts at first, but then you get that freedom that you also talk about.

Thanks for sharing!

Wonderful article with a great message. Thank you!

Beautiful!

at 19 I was reallyyyy into self help etc and warren buffet said you need 7 sources of income to be rich lol well i seeked 7 sources...music, acting, youtuber, selling waist trainers, probably selling weed lol and a normal job. until this music producer said "you're messy, what is it you really want to do"...i chose music and nothing else. Jack of all trades master of none is a metaphor or whatever i like and also...why do specialist get paid more the your general doctor? :)

Great story, I like the pet-metaphore. I recognize the experience of taking on too many goals at the same time. Now I limit myself to one (at a time). Thanks for your story!

P.S. I have two cats, and I give them 100% of my time whenever they ask for it!

Timely.
(and well crafted as always)

Love the metaphor, Derek

Let her go. If she's yours, she will comeback somehow.

This idea is useful for me who have so many interests.

Love this. Perfect timing as I’m about to fill back the space I was finally able to create!

Pets - a thoughtful new perspective on my current wondering.

“Now” is all we have (so make the most of it).

Yet “now” doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things (so relax, it’ll all work out).

It sounds like a pet is a metaphor for commitment, wish, dream, or passion. But then that one passion refuses to leave and you stay with it.

My life felt similar: I found a puppy. I loved it. I saw a new one and locked the old one in a room – wondering why it didn't become adult. Rinse and repeat.

Now I try to settle for one. Caring for it. Helping it grow.

Seing all those cute puppies around me and NOT petting them is tough though...

I am the master of two GSD's they are two fountains of love and my best companions at writing. Their unconditional love helps me overcome rejection in the hobby of writing and I just don't care what the world think, so long my pets love me all is well.

Ohhhh yeah. I had a full list of "pet" projects, all of which I originally loved, but when I didn't make progress on any of them, I felt guilty, or like a failure. When I learned to pick the top 1-2 most important ones and let the others go (perhaps forever or perhaps just for now), I had so much more focus and direction. Thanks for this lovely bit of writing. And thanks for emailing it - I would have missed it otherwise.

I had a fourth kid and had to rehome a bunny it was not getting the same love novelty wore off and it wasn’t playful I was afraid it might bite the baby too

ALL our pets are actually our brain playing a role in its everyday movie that it makes to simulate reality, which is the people we love who love us. Every other aspect of our existence [other than the people we love who love us] is nonsense. The people we love who love us are actually eternal, intangible, infinite spiritual beings who shape who we are by wholesomeness and absolute goodness. Reality :) what a concept :)

Loved it :) Thank you for pointing my attention to it in email
I wonder which pets come back in my life

I guess relationships fit that metaphor as well

Hell Yeah!
I love this concept and try to keep it in mind if new tempting “pets” come along. Sometimes my resolve (temporarily) weakens, and then the process of refocusing on what’s most important re-starts.

Great to hear from you! The article was a salve to my week. Could you write about dealing with the monotony of life as it is? Thank you.

Very nice article, thank you for this! 😁

Hi Derek. Too many things, pets, projects, friends, family, work, etc, whatever you want to call it. You take in and love whatever crosses your path that day - you live in the moment, you love it, you live more short term, which has advantages on its own. On the other hand if you spread yourself too thinly probably only a few of the afore mentioned 'things' comes to fruition. The outcome could be lost love, you never started that business, you never got around renovating that bathroom or helping a friend in need. So you start to think: I should focus more, prioritize, set some goals and stick to them. Finding a partner, move to another country, de-learn and re-learn to change job and so on. But then again you loose out on the impulsiveness that sometimes makes life worth living. So, I guess it is a balance and also a personality question, short term versus long term, the sugar rush versus the marathon. Maybe there is a time for everything and you sometimes change back and forth between the two? And some pets keep on coming back, so I assume you should spend some more time on those? They seem important to you and you to them.

In the past couple of days I found myself stuck, not able to do anything, because there were so many "pets" to take care of.
It's hard to let go though. I completely understand the need for focusing on what's essential, the for letting go of darling projects. And yet, I always find myself doing it again. But each one of them is so shiny, and fluffy, and looks at me with those glowing eyes that say.
And here I am just stuck between them not being able to take care of any. I've let go of many pets though. But there's still a lot of them. Is there a service I can use to let go of my pets without having to stare at them in the eyes? Oh wait, that could be a business idea... dammit, here's another pet again.

Ha,ha-I’m definitely guilty of having too many pets…and not giving each enough attention…actually…I just took my first guitar lesson😂

Thanks for the article-as always

Too many pets live rent free in my house...

Where are you living now? A petting zoo?

I love your metaphors Derek. I see them coming now. I smile and wait for the surprising end. And I'm a fun of 'making space'although sometimes I forget and just keep adding 'pets' to my mind and life.
So thanks for reminding me, and I just needed it today.😉

Extending the analogy - having a 2nd pet from a different genus return and both pets ‘combining’ to form a Chimera - something never seen before.

Well I'm clearly trying to open a zoo. Perhaps it's time to let a few go, too.

But I'm curious: what was the one that kept coming back to you?

When I started reading this blog post I was already judging you for having so many pets in your life and not taking care of them then I realised I am the person in that place. Great post, it throws the light on some hard subjects. Let it go.. 🐑

Derek!

I just confirmed with my adoptar agency that in 2009 - I adopted my first pet!

She just came up to me out of nowhere and even though I'd encountered many stray animals in the past, for some reason this one was different and just wouldn't leave me alone.

I had never had a pet before her, so I honestly had NO IDEA what I was getting into.

I mean, I had seen many pet owners around before, so I just kind of assumed if they could do it, I could too.

Even though none of the other owners I'd seen before looked anything like I do. And specifically, none of my girlfriends owned their own pets. They enjoyed playing with other's pets but when I would ask if they ever dreamed of owning their own, they would always reply with, "Ugh! Why?"

For some reason, that did not stop me and I still thought I could and should, do it. Eventually, I gave in and googled what steps to take next.

First, I would have to adopt her which would make me her legal owner. Then, I would have to provide her with a place to stay, which is called being her host. As her host, I was also responsible for feeding her and paying for all of her bills, which was also something I was not expecting or financially prepared for. I did not realize how expensive animal food and clothing are or how much freaking space they need to thrive and interact with others!

Anyway, once I adopted my first pet, rather than stopping there and giving her all of my love, I started to become obsessed with the idea of rescuing all these other animals that were out there floating around. I would even wake up sometimes in the middle of the night and panic that if I didn't go out there and scoop them all up right that second, that other people would take them away from me.

I should've actually been happy that other people wanted these pets, as I couldn't even keep up with the one I had, but instead, I was so blinded by their potential cuteness and also obsessed with the idea of trying to sell them - word on the street was, people pay lots of money for the right pet especially with the perfect name.

Eventually, I adopted so many pets that I became a crazy pet lady!

Some pets I was only an owner to, and some I took care of for a while but then they would do something bad and rather than figuring out why they were behaving that way or what they needed, I would just start to ignore them.

I questioned myself so much and wondered why and how so many other pet owners managed to take care of their pets but I could never manage.

I wasn't close with any of my pets.

I didn't make any money off of them. And I spent a bunch.

And, unlike you, I never made or took the time to focus on the one that I really really (still!) love and believe in. And now it's 2021 and my house is a hot mess. I'm trying so hard to declutter. The carpets are covered in thick, matted hair. The walls are all scratched up.

But the good news is, she's still here. She still loves me. And every day when I walk in the door, she still wags her tail for me!

She's getting older now though, and so am I.

Thanks for helping me remember how much I love her and how important it is for me to make her my only, so we can both live out the rest of our lives in a way that will live on forever.

Like your drawing.

I always knew you could write and talk and read and code, but OMG WHEN DID YOU LEARN TO DRAW? <3

Wow! I am seeing myself there Derek.I always wanted more pets than I can manage:P As Ben franklin said,"If you desire many things, many things will seem few." However, I am matured now. Happy with the one pet that came back.:)

Love it! Very helpful 🌻

I have only one cat, but pet projects I have many xD. I never saw projects as pets. But maybe that’s true, one has to tackle only one at a time so that they get all the attention they deserve until it’s time to set them free

Thank you for this Derek. It brought tears to my eyes because I could recognize myself. So so fortunate to identify at the right time that my family is my main pet and I gave up the other pets a while ago. Was wondering though what you can say to those who lost their main pet and got into the dark void of regret.

Gently and beautifully powerful

Brilliant piece and very well timed for me. I realise that I have too many "pets". They are fighting each other for my time and then they all suffer from insufficient attention.
I agree to help friends with things and then find myself making excuses. I have let them down; it would have been better to have supported them but not offered physical help in the first place.
The resulting stress of trying to balance everything is not helping me. I will prioritise and reduce my projects.
Thank you Derek.

I got just one cat, taken a perfect care of, getting our fullest attention, living healthy happy life and looking just great as myself and the whole family is 100% focused just on him.

>One pet kept coming back, no matter how many times I set her free.

Which one is it? :)

When I started reading this article, I instinctively started thinking about my pet projects.

So this one hits home. Especially the last part where you let the pet go but then look back and realize you can't let it go.

Imagining a life without something is a great way to find out the true position of that thing in your life.

Thanks for sharing this, really impressed about how you used an analogy to deliver this idea so effectively.

Wow!

This is so great. Never found such an article to convey a huge message in a short write up. Everybody might interpret it differently, but for me it was a feeling of missing out and trying to do everything and none of things thrive at the end. What I take from this is, let it go most of the things, focus on just one thing very dear to you. It's quite liberating.

I love the idea of still allowing yourself to daydream about your ‘released’ pets. I usually try to squash thoughts of the things I didn’t pursue for fear it will upset me. But this approach feels better and less intense. Thanks as always Derek!

I love this metaphor. Never thought about my numerous projects in this way before!

I have the Chinese one too but have decided that the pet languages I already own are enough to feed and maintain. There are other demands on my time too. I can admire other people's pets. I don't *need* to own all of them.

Lucky someone mentioned this being a metaphor. I also was wondering how someone so focussed could have many actual pets that could be released into the wild.

The question is, whether the analogy is fully spot on. Pets die if you neglect them for a while. Side projects can sleep for some time without an issue and be restarted whenever. So while I have no real pets exactly for the reason that they demand consistent attention I give myself the luxury of having a few side projects.

Still your article gave me the idea to focus on one for a certain time. E.g. a a day or a week and see what happens. In the end it is progress that makes it feel worthwhile so if I have four side projects and focus on one per week I might just get the fulfillment that I want from them, since they all express parts of my personality. So thanks again for the inspiration.

Hi Derek, received your email and checked out the article.

It’s short, to the point and definitely thought invoking.
You’re absolutely right about cutting down your ‘pets’ to a manageable number.
Hmm but how do you decide which ‘pet’ needs to leave and which one stays? I have so many pets myself that I want to give time to, online courses, leatherwork, running etc. and I definitely struggle with choosing and prioritizing which ones.

Btw I think your ‘pet’ that keeps coming back is writing haha.

Exactly what I needed this morning as I have a whole zoo of pets staring back at me from my morning journal—all the achievements in waiting for the day and the coming weekend of possibilities,

I enjoyed the story Derek, thanks for sharing. It’s got me contemplating about my own pets, sadly a couple I think I have forgotten about and wish that they’d come back to nag me. Always good to hear from you, god bless.

I saw the little number on my gmail tab saying I have an email... I thought to myself I don't want to deal with it now, it is probably someone who wants something from me. Later I saw it was from Derek and thought, oh it is someone who is going to give me something.
This metaphor really gets to the point. But, I still hope to have all my "pets" even though I can't look after them. I suppose it is time to find someone else who can help me to take care of my pets. I refer to all of my pets with the acronym Pamm Bel.

PhD, Adolphs, Memory, Music, Books, exercise, Language learning

My first pet that drains me the most is my PhD that has been going on for 7 years and I just can't end it.

Adolphs is a blog I started about all the people in the world named Adolph, and attempt to give some redemption to my hated name. - adolphs.weebly.com/

I did not do well at school, but, finding Tony Buzan books about memory techniques saved me. So I love learning how to learn and want to make a youtube channel exploring this. I teach it to my students at the Uni when I get a chance.

I love playing music, This pet always returns to me no matter how often i try to send it out to the wild.
lately my most loved instrument is the leaf.
yes! here is my channel www.youtube.com/channel/UC-jlFY8j8VcPaW4u4J5hUWw
it has an amazing community of people that have helped me a lot.

Books
I love reading and this "pet" has been with me a long time.

Exercise.
once i managed to loose 25kg and I was proud and I could keep my weight and exercise often. lockdown destroyed that. I really hope this pet will come back. i miss it.

Language learning.
I grew up in South Africa I learned German, my wife speaks Russian, my M.A was about Esperanto. and like most I want to learn chinese.

Too many pets, few resources, little space, and my family probably suffers from it.

The minimalistic approach to living. I love it. The pet metaphor really pulled me in and got me to grasp the concept straight away.

I'm trying Derek

Yeah, same here. It was music.

I hope that wasn't true! If it was, it was cold and appalling. Once you connect to an animal its a commitment to the end of the animals life. They can't throw you away but you can do it to them, when they are so vulnerable. Friends for life, or never have any pets again.

Your one point is a good one, don't get too many pets, you need to give them the deep connection they deserve.

Love it Derek

It’s a bit like trying to multi-task. You can only truly focus on 1 thing at a time. If you have 20 things to do, you won’t get any of them done while trying to do all of them simultaneously. You need to prioritise and choose what tasks are important, then which order to attack them in.

I need few photos of her. Please. 🙂

my first thought after the first paragraph was oh boy I feel like I do this with my dating life. By the end of this metaphorical musing, I felt deeply heard with all the different projects I have on the go. Not sure I'm ready to let go but I've recently expanded the timeline such that it doesn't matter when but more so that I enjoy the journey of doing each thing. Derek your words work like magic!

Reminds me of the minimal way of money & living. If you owe money then out of your month you may be working 2 weeks in order to stand still...then the other 2 weeks is yours. The same sort of thing with the pet analogy - too many & it eats into your time & what you really want to spend your time doing.
Something like that.
Your life is disappearing 1 second at a time.
Nobody gets out alive.
Sorry, gone off-piste!
Cheers! - Nigel
oyoyinc.com

Beautiful article. And really puts into perspective the goals we set for ourselves. I am currently in a stage in my life where everything catches my attention and I am obsessed. But I realize that the less "pets" I have, the more I can focus on what is truly important. My question to myself is: which pet is the one that will stick with me? I guess only time will tell.

Omg
I felt the same about my plants.

Wow! That was quite a twist. Nice drawing :)

I used to think that relationships were different from activities because, unlike relationships, activities that I did by myself did not require another person's involvement and I retained greater control. But reading this, it feels like there's some part of me that's dealing with the activity "pet" inside me, turning every activity into a relationship with myself. Hmm...

I must admit that my quality of life has improved after I started giving importance to focus. Commitment and things that take time to build definitely have a higher pay-off.

Yes, a nice reminder. As we become adults, we soon or eventually work out that being busy is not the same as getting something done.

That multitasking has a cost: we can get several things done just about okay, or we can focus on one thing and give it our all.

That we have choices and sometimes having too many choices is more a hinderance than a benefit. We realise sometimes we really can achieve more by having less and doing less. With less on our calendars, we create a new kind of richness called space.

The words yes and no are easy and complete sentences that stand on their own. Perhaps the main message of the 21st century is to say 'No' more than 'Yes'. For me, nine 'No's' to one 'Yes' seems to work just about right.

That was quite a twist! But I love how much you were able to convey in such a compact manner. Readers can take whatever they relate to the most because the story is applicable in so many walks of life. I definitely took from it what I really needed to hear.
Thanks Derek!

Okay, first of all commenting literally:

Well--I do have 4 actual pets. Each is a rescue. A few have disabilities that make it hard for them to find another home.

So for me--the decision point is--can I give them a better life than they would otherwise have. And can I take them in and at least do the basics--good home, love, walk, some loving etc. And I cannot do more than 4 simply because we do not have room in the house and time in the day.

Metaphorically speaking though--this makes perfect sense...

very interesting article, sensed it was not about real pets, yet about real pets. on a similar journey, i find since giving up living in my own home, many many projects, living out of a haversack, just settling in wherever present without whosoever, a very interesting possibility is emerging. can see the neglect that people give their pets (metaphorical and literal). can enjoy loving others pet and detaching whenever i want. no responsibility.
the pet that keeps coming back to me is pet (hindi). it means stomach/naval/womb!

I have a boyfriend that does that. He had a woman he loves at every port. Very similar and he really “loved” then all. At some point they found out. They felt played. His friends were disgusted. Yet he felt he genuinely loved them all. Funny. It is the same really. We accumulate so we don’t have to give enough to any.

I am the pet that stuck around. And currently it seems to work.

He is finding he can find true passion. And safety in full acceptance of what giving love really means.

With him it could be being alone. Or it could mean he never knew love at that time. As for me, I am a take it or leave it type. It seems like it might be different, Maybe even he might not be like what you describe. I can’t say. But I do know that to love anything. To succeed at anything you must truly give your heart to it. Even if it is learning Chinese.

Life is naturally not perfect or satisfying until we find comfort in knowing we don’t need to love everything. We just find a few things that we can give to and lost maybe if necessary. Love is free and love is also a choice.

You have your love. Several of them. And it is that love that sets you free and gives happiness. It’s not the number it is the actual choices we make to do with that love.

Peace

Jody

Thought-provoking article, really gets the reader sucked in with the pets metaphor!

Pets generate more pets.

My love to build, led to Lego and CAD and 3D Printing AND starting companies... my love to learn instruments started with guitars and is filling the house with all sorts of pets, my technology pet is currently taking me down the crypto hole, my love for experiences, travel, ... and to read and to learn... and meet with people...

I enjoy the freedom of being able to go between my pets. I don't need to become the expert or give 100% of my love to one of them. As long as I can exercise daily and have plenty of time with my kids and family, I don't see why I should release my pets into the wild?

If I could only keep one pet it would be my pet to learn new things... but it would just fill my house again. That pet is really generating mote pets.

I understand your feeling of guilt towards your pets. Although we only had two cats in the past 8-9 years, my sister and I took really good care of them. Too much care that they have been spoiled.

I remember that my oldest cat "Bicha" used to be so picky about her food. Every time she refuses to eat, I get anxious and stressed that she is not eating and she is going to starve... My surroundings and our vet were telling us that the cats are in very good shape (Actually, there was a period of time when Bicha was overweight) but I couldn't believe them..

After Bicha's death, my sister and I kept having nightmares and anxiety attacks for a while... Almost a year has passed, I keep feeling a very intense ache in my chest whenever I miss her or remember her.

I can't stop myself from helping animals in need (If I am able to help, ofcourse) but I decided to stop adopting until I can learn how to control my emotions and be reasonable about things.

Good luck with your pet Derek

Just the reminder I needed. Focus wins every time.

I've been considering this too. Letting go is powerful. It's a difficult process, for me at least, but liberating. I wonder if this is how we find balance. Instead of collecting until we feel we have enough (this point may never be reached), we can let go until there is space. I think letting go is actually letting go of the control something has over us for our value/worthiness. It's good to know that somethings will keep returning to the space created. So what we release is fear I suppose and what is attracted into the space is something that needed more love.

Timely! Thank you.
Besides the powerful metaphor, what triggered me was the different perspectives.

- Using a pet (living being) makes it much more clearer and emotional, the energy, love, intensity, attention one gives to a pet. Talking about a list of ideas, projects doesn't trigger all this.

- Asking the question from the pet's perspective is again adding a dimension that I rarely see people talking about.

Thank you Derek from bringing these perspective. It brings emotion and emotion is needed if we want to have bolder changes to shift from padding & feeding animals to loving and caring for a pet.

As always, brilliant Derek.
☺ Thank you. — Derek

I was relieved when the last pet came home because it would have had to have been the last one you let go. It's such a tough thing to have one pet take up all your time and not to know what it would be like to lose that pet and how it might change your life. I have one pet that gets all my attention and rarely gives anything back that shows its appreciation...but without that pet what would I be?

Did you give your full attention to the pet that keeps coming back?
How do you deal with the wanting of having more pets even after you gaves those you had away?

I like it so much, to many pets are living of human conditons. Sometimes people don´t know what kind of mind the dog they are going to buy have.

This strikes a chord with me, as I've been decluttering both my physical and digital space the last few years. It can be a wrench to let go of some things because of the investment you've already put in, or the sentimental value attached to them. But the flip side is that I now have more space for growth in the future, and more time and energy for the things that matter to me today.

(Regarding actual pets, I've had two cats, actually my sister's cats but she moved away and they got left with me and my parents. Both adorable and infuriating in equal measure, it was sad to eventually lose them, but liberating as well because now our garden gets lots of birds visiting the feeders and birdbaths, as well as eating berries and occasionally nesting too.)

"Space is the place" Sun Ra
"Do be a do bee" Romper Room

"To be is to do" Socrates
"To do is to be" Jean-Paul Sartre
"Do be do be do" Frank Sinatra

Above 3 combined Kurt Vonnegut

The choices we (and others) make set us (and others) free, or not. Choose well.

Thanks, as always, to all our influencers above, to Derek, to all your friends and to their pets and fellow gurus!

Thank you for sharing this, and being somewhat overwhelmed with projects and pursuits it resonated. One pursuit that is garnering less than adequate attention is producing creative writing output for a meet-up led by a local librarian. The angst sometimes is a cause for motivation, but more often a hinderance. Your piece is giving me an idea to mimic, but is also clever and motivates me to write. Thank you, sir!

Love this 💛

I get what you mean, but sometimes when people ask me 'tell me about yourself', I feel like I should have more interesting stories to tell about myself. Thing is, I like that alot of my life is my work, because what I do is challenging, it pays well, I get to help people, but I also get to grow as person through my leadership role. But still... I feel like I should have other stories...

Two.

Firmly believe that they improve our lives exponentially. Those who have never had a pet have lived a much lessor life. We hope you are well Mr. Sivers.

It doesn't matter how much "pets" you have unless they are functional.
I wonder, why Chinese is so popular?

I loved it! Specially the surprising end of the story!!
This will touch many people in many ways as it did with me, for sure. You can call it Minimalism, Essentialism, Focus, The Power of Less, The One Thing, The Effortless Life, etc. You can even write a book about it, or many books...
Or you can follow the "Via Negativa" and remove everything that can be removed, and deliver the message in an article like this one. Brilliant!!

Thank you, really appreciate it!

Funny little metaphor.

These pets don’t really need food to survive — or maybe the food is simply money, time, love and energy.

Some of these pets can’t be given away but only “set free” (Ungenerously: left alone at the side of the road, put away in a box)

I think it’s been said in the thread but the pets that won’t leave you actually have YOU as a pet and at that point it’s no longer a pet but a companion. It’s going to come with you wherever you go.

Thanks as usual for getting our collective minds whirling!

"Chase two rabbits, catch none."

Nice piece.

Dear Derek

Thanks so much for this reminder to let go of things! That's the most challenging part of life, but with the most rewards.

Thanks!!

Businesses. Projects. Books. Courses. Notebooks. Diets. Supplements.

Yes, too many pets. Some of them cost time, some take thousands of dollars. None can thrive while there are so many... and a new one every month.

But when I follow the "Hell Yeah! or No" formula, fewer make it home.

Thanks for the reminder, Derek.

I had many pets like that in the past. I'm still learning how to let go, and for sure, it isn't that easy. Some of them always come back, like in my case Python and Cinema 4D. I'm learning Python 3.0 at this moment, and Cinema 4D is in a waiting room. But there are so many other pets in my back garden. How to let them go?

Nice to hear from you again!!! Thanks for the article! Hope you are doing well…

We live in the country and my house has a farm field in front of it and a farm field to the side of it. Officially we have a dog. Unofficially She has 2 buddies Ms Rabbit who lives under our shed (and loved the farmers crops) and Ms Cat (who loves the field mice for supper).
So the answer is one pet but she has friends.

Lovely - thank you for sharing this Derek.

Sometimes we choose, sometimes we are chosen.

Saying “hell yeah” can include saying yes to letting go.

"We were together. I forget the rest." - Walt Whitman

Enjoy your day.

Thanks Derek. I'll think of this over Sylvia Plath's depressingly charming fig tree metaphor now.

Oh man, I have so many instruments and music software I haven't touched in years and it's all so sad and painful to look at.

Not enough time for all my passions, and almost impossible to prioritize.

Your post hits home really hard.
Now I'm starting to see clearer: somehow some of my pets shine brighter after reflecting on your words here for a bit. Thank you. I believe this post can be life-changing for so many people, it encourages me to live better.

Nice Article! Here are my thoughts:

I have 2 cats(had 4 but 2 disappeared). Where I'm from cats roam freely. Very less maintenance. So they are part of the family, we feed them but there's not much issue if we are not there for few days. I like this since the cats can hunt, roam freely and also be a part of the family. I think more of it as a co-existence!

What's the one pet that keeps coming back?

Love that Derek. A compassioned approach to Essentialism.

Thanks!

This is something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately myself.

My friend puts it another way - if you do too much you end up “a Jack of all trades, but a master of none”.

As we get older we need to choose a few things to do well, and leave the rest behind.

Love the metaphor!

Hi Derek , it was great . It left me thinking

Revelation 2:4 - Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love.
Don't know why but the spirit always gives me a scripture for you.
Sending BIG blessings to you!!!

I'm happy you kept your last book pet until the end and later set it free to the world to care for all your readers.

I have to set free some pets now that I'm going to have a child. It gives you a lot of perspective on what's next and what I want.

This is a pet that you can't set free for some years, so looking forward to this big project and ready to put lots of attention to it.

Thanks for sharing this. Elegant and more than plausible.

Coming to grips with the pet project of paring down the number of pet projects could be the pet that needs our greatest attention and focus.

Lovely. Thanks for sharing. Giving up those pets... always tough.

Bravo, Derek. Love it, as always. Hope you have a great day today:)

Thank you, Derek. Currently I have none, but I grew up with a cat whom I didn’t understand, 2 dogs whom I loved & too many goldfish & tropical fish who lived short lives due to neglect. Your project/pet metaphor reminded me of a speech by Peter Kaufman called “Multidisciplinary Approach to Thinking” (fs.blog/great-talks/multidisciplinary-approach-thinking-peter-kaufman/). His pet examples demonstrating mirrored reciprocation & love are priceless!

Best, John

I liked this very much. Thank you.

Sadly not right now. Are flowers pets? If yes, I have a lot of those.

Two dogs. And they are pretty good companions to each other when I am not able to pay attention to them.

After learned the Chinese language, I can tell that It was more interesting than English. Every word was made by a deep meaning with love.

I would love to teach you Chinese.

Hi Derek. I love this as a metaphor. Thanks for the prompt. And it depends on the time or life and personal needs. Sometimes many is a blessing. The bad feeling doesn't always mean get rid of the pets, but it does invite further inquiry. Good to read your writing again.

Love for all trades passion for none. It so much happens when we are still trying to settle down on one 'pet'. Loved reading :)

Derek, your writing is impeccable as always. I think that I see this from a slightly different angle, and I suspect many others do too. I'm trying to figure out which of my pets will one day bring me a paycheck.

There is something about this that fits perfectly with my life... Although I don't have pets but do get visited by all the fury animals out there.. my mom and I love feeding them and enjoying their companies. Metaphorically I get the underlined message too. Best of wishes✌️

the pets that keep coming back are mostly our biases that bring back that pet...

As I also started releasing more and more pets into the wild again, I felt quite the same. But hell, so many critters try to sneak back in each month.

Interesting read! Perhaps we should adopt S.M.A.R.T pets ☺ Travelling somewhere is (just a little bit) more specific than travelling everywhere ☺ Also, we are meant to keep some pets for a season and need to know when it's time to let them go. Oh and some "pets" are not meant to be kept by us. They belong to everyone. I love this metaphor. I could go on and on... ☺

thank you!

exactly the right thing at the right time for me. taking a step back i realize i am trying to learn & study way too many things at once (drawing course, photography project, learning a new healing modality, at least 2 new exercise protocols – to name just a few). what a relief to read these words this morning.

Thank you for writing this and sharing it. As usual its simple but profound. When it comes to real pets, they become family and cannot be released into the wild most times. when we moved from India to the US, we had to take care of our Cat. She loves the house she lives in and so we asked a family that needed a house to move into ours. They now have a home to live in which offers them comfort and security and our Cat is taken care of with lots of love and minced beef :) - but without guessing too much, what did you use pets as a metaphor for if you really did that? thanks again.

What a piece of beauty! It's a pleasure to read your articles. Perfect blend of love & wisdom!!

I occasionally “clean house” of my “pets”. Some times that’s meant I was left with one “pet” that wasn’t a good match.

Ahh this was a good one Derek! When I first started reading this I was thinking: “There’s no way he can be talking about actual animals as the pets! No, there’s gotta be a twist to this. . .” This was great food for thought that is also very relatable. Now I’m very curious as to which pet keeps coming back to you, is it your ‘Writing’ pet? Much love from New Jersey.

So many pets! Reading "Life is Messy" right now. My life, too, is filled with so many pets. Which to release? All? I fear there won't be one that comes back. How can I trust that one will?
Thank you, Derek! Keep us posted. Let us know which came back to consume all your love.

Thanks for writing this Derek! It’s just what I needed to read this morning, as I’m currently working on 4 or 5 ‘pet’ projects with all the associated feelings of guilt for only giving each 10% of my time & attention (taking into account job and family). If only there was a marketplace to help people like us find new homes for our additional ‘pets’. In my experience, having them sit on the back burner for years just adds to the feelings of guilt and wasted potential. Any thoughts on how/where we might go to offer our other ‘pets’ to the world? Thanks again for all you share with us Derek, your thoughts and ways of thinking have helped me build an amazing life for me and my family.

Some people thrive on multitasking and others are driven by the actual workload and then some can't see over the collection and nothing gets done. I do wonder if we don't collect to have a cushion to fall on if we fail.

I am sure all is undertaken with wonderful intent and with good grace and even based on dreams that soon turn to nightmares as we find ourselves struggling to survive the demands.

I think it takes a great deal of bravery to allow the demands of one subject be our sole concern but in the same retrospect it gives me sadness to think to be productive you have to give up all but one dream to achieve euphoria and total completeness.

Yet in typing that I think why should one thing not be able to bring you that if that is your true passion your creative life purpose.

In saying that I think I have been able to find a medium to have a field of demands in an interest and that is photography the same as you would of got from music I imagine.

My collective of learning many different styles of photography has allowed me to enjoy a so called one passion across many fields so I guess that could be cheating to a certain degree what do you think?

The first few pages of Thomas Friedman's book "Thank You for Being Late" speak to the issues of focus and attention and the need for time for reflection.

What a great subtle way to provide permission to unburden all the “opportunities and options” available. Your writing resonates with people in so many ways (from all the comments) which is a blessing in itself. Thank you for sharing. This was like a soft breeze on a still day.

Life will fill your schedule up if you let it. Animals. People. Work. I recently started chopping away at things that sucked my time up. I went from feeling overwhelmed to having tons of extra time. It has the be a ‘hell yes’ for me now. Wait. Who wrote that?

I would have to include pet peeves, hehe... mine are unhelpful and demanding.

I'm glad you're both happier with having less... pets :) Much Love and Warmth from across the Ether

Great advice as always, would love to know which "pet" got to stay! Thanks for sharing your insights and wisdom!

Up to the age of 18 I was a farm boy. The dog that we had lived mostly with me outside, in the woods or on the grass, in the winter in the sleeping bag with me. I've always loved dogs but I could see the envy in them if there was more than one. So, it depends on how much you really feel about them or how much time you have for them as to how many you can have.

Thanks for the metaphor Derek!
Great read...although I feel terrible now that you've just reminded me of all the pets I've been keeping hostage all this time.

This article gave me a smile Derek.
I was convinced for the first part that you were a savage animal shelter rescuer. But as I read and understood the metaphor it was a timely reminder for me. So Thankyou for the article 😁

Thank you, Derek, for the thoughtful metaphor. It spoke to me as a reminder to continue focusing my attention to less things.

Love the analogies. A creative mind is always buzzing with ideas. Some are captured and others dissipate when they lack attention.

I loved dogs and still do, but the commitment needs to be absolute so I understand your line of thought. Now I love the idea but reconcile with the fact that I can’t have them.

This article reveals much about the writer as it does about the content. An intereting read Derek.
Please keep them coming.🌺

One word that comes to mind from your metaphor is balance. Probably every one of us could say that our life looks a lot different today than 20 years ago. Getting out the evaluation mirror from time to time can help to see what needs to drop off the scales. I love passion, but not without freedom!

I first found this article a bit annoying, as I am a person who chooses to have no animal pets, so that I can be free to go & do without being concerned about their food or elimination needs, and frankly sometimes I resent my friends (and some family) who have limited their own accessibility for travel with me, or even my ability to visit them since I am one of the +-30% of adults who are highly allergic to cats.
Then as I continued to read I gleaned that your Pets are Projects, and (deep sigh) I realized I, too, am addicted (?) to having lots of unfinished to-do's on my list - songs to learn, songs to write, poetry to publish, books to finish, and so much, much more.
Is it possible that I maintain that unfinished mental list as a defiance of the ongoing aging process? Do I think, "I'm not ready to quit, give up, die yet - I still have things to achieve!"
Just some rambling thoughts on a beautiful morning by the sea. At least my brain glommed onto some new considerations. Thank you!

Well this hit me squarely. Metaphorically and literally. I have so many pets and I’m scattered because of it. Wild mustangs, feral cats (the literal part), my work through which I connect to purpose, my book, my vision for all of it ….. the list goes on. I will be sitting with this for some time. Letting go can feel like letting down or giving up. But perhaps setting free or opening space for another to step in is closer to truth. Thanks for this!

I'm not sure that I've ever been called out so gently before.

Thanks for the thoughtful post. Finding balance between doing and not doing, starting and completing, innovating and maintaining is ... difficult. And yet you managed to describe a solution through a beautiful metaphor.
Wonderful.

I've been eating'em

Great metaphor-

Love one pet, give it your full attention and it will love you back as long as it lives. Sadly we have to say goodbye when the Pet becomes sick or runs it lifetime out. Thank Go for all the Pet memories that teach us so much about how to adopt your next pet.

Thanks Derek. Your writing has become so relevant and impactful for me. Keep up the great work - and thanks for sharing your gift with us.

Timely as always, Derek. Our PNW move is about letting a few pets go. Be well.

Derek, this resonates SO much. As a fellow creative soul, I often find myself being bombarded with new ideas (all of which I want to pursue and make my new “thing”) and, to be honest, it’s exhausting. Like you, I get scattered and end up feeling unfocused. I go through phases of paring down and simplifying which brings relief, but the passion projects keep flooding in until I’m overwhelmed again. The idea of just “enjoying the daydream” feels freakin’ revolutionary.

I’m also toying with the idea of being “goal-less” for a while to let things unfold without being attached to these huge dreams I’m always creating for myself. It sounds like that’s maybe where you’re heading, too? Super excited to see what’s next for you.

Becki xo

Love the part about the pet that keeps coming back. That’s how you know which one to commit to. Churchill said “Don’t give up on the thing you can’t go a day without thinking about.”

I used to have a list of things I wanted to do. It was absolutely anything and everything that came to mind, from looking up programming terminology, learning certain languages (computer or human), places I wanted to travel to, books I wanted to read, anything and everything. It grew and grew over my college years.

One day, I realized it was over 5000 items long. I deleted it.

I shifted my focus to instead thinking: My life is pretty good right now. I have all I need. How do I maintain this? (For the most part, this means keeping healthy habits, working my job, making time for loved ones.) Then the question became, what's the single biggest thing I can do that will improve my life? And that's what I focus on now. It's been remarkably effective.

I think I even read and learn more now. I have no list to guilt me. I rest easy knowing that all the important things are handled, and I can enjoy my time with what I want to do in the moment.

Derek, thanks I also wanted to build a house and have done some major renovation in my house. As you say I have to go with keeping of the many pets. I know I have and dip into many different areas or have many pets. I sometimes think where would I be if I only had one interest or focussed on one area.
I am happy with the way I am and the many pets I have. I think that you seem to be with programming, writing and keeping us all updated. Which I thank you for sharing.
If I had a large sum of money, maybe those pets would have to dwindle to one but without I still look forward to all my pets. Vinnychoff

Derek, do you do these drawings? Don't know if I've ever heard you talk about it. Loved seeing a new post!

Good article!

Beautiful realization. Thank you!

Either this is timely right now or a forever timely thing lol

Thanks for the thought provoking (and idea generating) article. With my pet projects I have learned it’s best to start with a small daily commitment (5-15 minutes per day) and commit to that for about a month. That gives me a chance to test it out and make a call about where I want to take it.

And that pet that keeps coming back? Is it a cat, a dog or, is it writing? ;)

Do you feel good after releasing them back into the wild? (even dogs never were free in the wild)

Yeah, we get distracted too easily, focus and clarity brought happiness in my life too.

Derek —

Fantastic metaphor. I have several pets, and the guilt of having neglected one when I finally give it attention is ever present. Thanks for the wake up.

I always enjoy your musings.
Hope you're well!

-tee

From... www.linkedin.com/pulse/amp-up-frank-slootman/
us9.campaign-archive.com/?u=3b722a6007ea3053bd0ada7ab&id=33a801a16c

I rarely encountered a team that employed too narrow an aperture. It goes against our human grain. People like to boil oceans... Many people and organizations are focused a mile wide and an inch deep... Reminds us of Mark Twain who wrote us a long letter because he had no time for a short one.

You never know how much work one "pet" can be until you bring it home. Everything looks the same from the window of the pet store.

Funny how we lose very important things because we keep too many other things we do not need.

I thoroughly enjoy your writing. When reading this I thought of my Dog who passed on 2 years ago. Then, further down, my past relationships.

Finally, I thought of my current relationship and how grateful I am. This also invoked thoughts of old friends and how I am grateful for the ones who stuck around and I keep close.

lovely post

Thank you Derek. The post made me take some time to consider how many "pets" I have and which ones I should let go.

Don’t be a donkey and you can have a single pet every few years.

That said, if these pets bring you joy when you attend to them and they’re not suffering for it, why not have a million pets?

Unless you’d like to say that long term mono tasking yields better results?

Back in the '80s I used to play Dungeons and Dragons with an extended group of friends. As a child I loved toy soldiers and little plastic wild animals (in separate scenarios!), so naturally when D&D miniatures came into my life I embraced them wholeheartedly. I took a job at a hobby shop running a weekly D&D game for customers (largely kids) and I was given $20 in miniatures every week plus $20, which I spent on more miniatures. I had amassed at least 2,000, a tenth of which I painted. Life moved on, the minis went into storage but came out in cycles when a new group of players came into my life. When I founded my vocal group, Bounding Main, I realized that the business of music would never allow me the time to indulge in my miniatures hobby. I eventually stored them with a friend who ran a regular game with his circle of friends. When his life pursuits changed I gifted the ten file boxes of miniatures and accessories to a newer friend who enjoyed skillfully painting miniatures. He was also part of another circle of friends who ran a regular series of games. I unburdened myself from a wonderful hobby for an all-encompassing musical passion and my life is easier for it.

Wonderful metaphor. I write all of my pets down In a journal so they're not constantly barking in my face and begging for walks. But the ones that keep coming back... those are the ones to feed and nurture. Great post, brother.

I rescued a Persian cat in Oregon and then brought her to western New York to join my new husband and his two tuxedo cats. My Persian ran away eight months later, but came back at the very moment we brought home a new golden tabby from the shelter. So now we have four and all of us are very happy.

It is interesting to see how many people totally missed the metaphor. Important point for marketers like me.

Oh. So that’s where they came from. Four of your pets showed up at my doorstep and I adopted them.

Start a business.
Travel everywhere.
Learn Chinese.
Build a house.

Hi Derek
I enjoyed your piece and all it elicited from me and the group. I too am very interested in so many earthly pursuits. have so many loves, so many pets. And boy, can I get into al of em. Sometimes I have used the expression "like putting ten pounds in a five pound bag!" I've sometimes been spread thin in career or personal life "so very thin "like cheap paint" When I have done this, my enjoyment and the quality of any one endeavor has dissipated. So, what's a guy to do?
I came to realize that having grown up poor, I had saved everything, every scrap of potential. That realization led me to consider value and quality in my life. Like you I have let many of my pets go. Fact is I found a way to not just release them into the wild, rather to use them to pass them on to others, to mentor and guide fellow travelers who seemed to have the interest and talent to take on projects. Then I could have the best of both worlds, I could keep my pets in a way, visiting them infrequently through contacts with my new colleagues. It has worked out great. The projects move forward and (at least in my mind's eye, the world is a better place for all." Thanks for writing this and for reminding me of this process.

Hey Derek after 265 comments I am intimidated but you asked a question so I will comply. Who needs these answers? You? Us? Everyone? I have no pets. Looove dogs and mostly allergic so that is a solved non-issue.

On the topic of pursuing too many projects some advocate dedication to ‘one’ only to be truly successful (what does that mean anyway?).

I am a multi-tasker not too show off but since a child - I get bored easily. So many plates always on my life table. I have dropped and broken some. Loss more. But I have fed with much more others.

It’s not about an unmanageable ego or ambition: it’s out of sheer curiosity and thirst for life - finding and living your destiny. Being atuned to truth and following His guidance. Yes Jesus-Christ is the love of my life (I affirm so since 40 years now).

I am sooo grateful for a rich yet very challenging life paved with tears and losses and oh - these victories! Incomparable!

So here’s to you - you are a master at rallying people around you. I hope you read what you were looking for.

Much love ❤️

Song of Myself, 51
Walt Whitman - 1819-1892


The past and present wilt—I have fill'd them, emptied them.
And proceed to fill my next fold of the future.

Listener up there! what have you to confide to me?
Look in my face while I snuff the sidle of evening,
(Talk honestly, no one else hears you, and I stay only a minute longer.)

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)

I concentrate toward them that are nigh, I wait on the door-slab.

Who has done his day's work? who will soonest be through with his supper?
Who wishes to walk with me?

Will you speak before I am gone? will you prove already too late?

Interesting timing for my life. I have a 75 lb golden doodle who's not just the love of my life but all my friends and virtually 80% of the strangers I pass on the street. We recently moved back into an apartment and everyday is a struggle over time. Yesterday my friends took her for a day. I was overwhelmed with the freedom and vast amount of time I now had. I think I just need to hire a dog walker :) I do like your message though, less is more.

I’m a pet lover too. But they can be so exhausting. Freeing my pets is the very thing I’ve been contemplating as well. It’s not fair to horde them. Especially since each time I feed my pets a morsel I realize I can see one more rib rippling their profile due to lack of resources, lack of nourishment.
I also find myself recognizing the false promise, “we’ll spend more time together, soon.” Those sad eyes looking back at me, knowing the truth, or should I say the fallacy in my promise. Sometimes we should listen to our pets. They can teach us a lot about ourselves.
And I’ve got to confess. I do have my favorite pets. Maybe it’s unfair, but I do have them.
But there is one pet who wags it’s tail everywhere I go, everywhere I turn. It’s patient, but persistent. And all it wants is valuable one-on-one time with me, but I continually push it away and walk past it’s broken-hearted little self. I just flat out have denied it my attention. And it’s dangerous to neglect this pet, because it carries a carnivorous parasite that gets bigger and bigger, uglier and uglier. There is no cure for it either. No antibody, no topical treatment to make it go away. The parasite? Regret. It’s time I gave this pet my attention and care for it like a good pet owner.

Derek, this is amazing. Thanks.
I constantly find myself in the same situation with too many 'pets', while only being able to focus on one or two at a time. What I've resorted to doing is keeping a project file for each one (with all it's ideas, progress, etc), that way hopefully in the future I'll be able to jump right back into it, and also writing down the random ideas that pop up temporarily satiates the urge to work on them.

If I follow this advice, can I still keep my animals?

Five weeks ago I had to put my cat Nino to sleep. It was very sad, but necessary because he had a huge tumor in his gut and was throwing up a lot. I should have done it earlier because the symptoms had started 6 months earlier.

But as you relate to in the metaphor, I was scared of losing him and avoided to go to the doctor.

Since he is gone, I feel free again and have more energy to spend on other things. I think that we both were suffering, but I was the only one capable to do something about it.

Your metaphor relates to having to many projects in your life. But you can have a single project in your life, making you suffer as well. Letting this one go might be very beneficial.

Thanks for sharing this clear, inspiring piece, Derek! I must admit, I am curious about your sole remaining pet. :)

What's the one pet that kept coming back?

Hi Derek,
Perfect timing as always.
Just the reminder I needed.
Thank you and love the wild things,
Bonnie

Great article, Derek! Thanks for sharing!

As soneone who has never had a pet I was a little skeptical about reading this as I thought it wouldn't be relevant. But guess what, it hugely is. I have many pets, and would like less and to focus on two or three. Great article, thank you for this and please keep them coming.

Oh! I missed you Derek!
Enjoy what you can handle, and especially as you (we) get older. Just stay with the one or two pets that will never let you go. Nuf said

Yep. I know this story inside out. With practice, I'm getting better at letting some pets go and not taking on new ones. Eventually, I will get there. Thanks Derek.

cgwarex at #273 asks, who needs these answers? You? Us?

My reply is all of us. They say for every painting hanging in a gallery there is a special customer. It may hang a while, but the customer will come along. Yup, that can be a metaphor. (Derek's blog is catching)

So for every blog comment, however individual and specific, there is a member of the human community who will see it and go, "Wow, I can relate..." Maybe in a resrained Mr. Spock fashion... I might think I'm vain to try to comment to more than one person, but hey, if I didn't have vanity, against my inertia, I might not be able to comment at all.

In my cold little cabin, without any pets, I enjoy reading each comment... Including yours, cgwarex.

Interesting perspective on focus and saying no and letting go. Did you actually get ride of the physical aspects like house blueprints and Chinese textbooks, or was it mainly a mental letting go?

Great analogy! I'm also guilty of filling my life with too many pet projects (and two dogs and a goldfish) lol

Well, now you got me thinking ... will need quiet time to sit still and line up my pets; I have a few that I ought to have let go a long while back and a couple or so new ones that will need my love and attention. thanks for the wonderful nudge :)

I hope you planted that forest!

such incredible timing! I am in the midst of a "who am I becoming" debate with myself, as I attempt to clear away the "husks of former lives" and shift into a fresh, full-attention to my joys new me. letting go of these former ambitions feels so pessimistic, but your reframe of neglected pets needing better homes puts this "go on, be free" to those "things" so well. deepest thanks!

Thank you. I’ve been overrun with pets for a couple years. I’ve kenneled all of them and keep them in my she-shed office in the back yard. Time to start letting them go to release the overwhelming guilt I’m donning and get back to the basics of “why?”.

Neglect a project for too long, when you go to pick it up, often it'll bite you.
Stick with the ones that follow you around, and when you sit, they jump into your lap
and lick you on the face.

Derek,
First of all I appreciate being on your list so thanks.
I’m actually as you could see from my pics an amazing dog lover a d they love me back as well.
I’ve been really sorta struggling to not get a pet because I love them so much ; that being said I just can’t do it Because it will not be fair to the pet I would get.
Thanks again
Ed Gutentag

A wonderful and spot on way to describe exactly what I am struggling with right now. Thanks for your insight!🎶👌

I really liked this one.

Do you think "1" pet should be the max?

Also, do things like exercise count as a "pet", or just a part of daily living?

Like everyone else, I love the analogy and recognize that tendency in myself. I envy those with focus because everything has always interested in me. I've never had that one love and focus on topic.

Two things have helped me.
1) GTD's concept of a Someday/Maybe list gave me permission to park things for later.
2) We instituted a rule in our house years ago that we can only have as many pets as we have hands. It works great to resist the temptation to bring home more stray animals. Your post reminds me that it's so appicable to the rest of life.

For the record, we have 3 cats and a dog.

I knew it was a metaphor the moment I read the title in my inbox :)

Simple thoughts relayed in an engaging manner; classic Sivers.

Love the story! Since most "energized" pets require some form of consistent care to stay alive, I learned a long time ago that that's not one of my strengths... consistency. Whether it's a plant, insect, animal, human, etc, I've chosen not to be a caregiver, both for them, and for me.

Since the pets you mentioned require some form of consistent energy to keep them alive as well, it begs the question: "How much energy can I generate without destroying the quality of my life?" Seems to be about the same number of balls I can successfully juggle in the air... two, maybe three, when lucky.

This is something I have to remind myself periodically, because I get excited with trying new things and then find myself sufocated by too many projects and not enjoying any of them. So that is my cue, when it's not fun anymore I just stop and get rid of "my pets" and see what comes back. So thanks for the reminder, I should have a look at my projects and see what needs to go. Hugs from Romania!

To continue with the metaphor:

"You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
- The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

I have had most of the same pets all of my life: tennis, music, 4legged furry pets and have added food and wine as pets as well. They have all enriched my life and become an integral part of my life. I can't imagine giving them up.

Ever since I was 3 I would bring stray dogs home. I go through periods of life where I focus on 1 pet but inevitably start bringing more home. I am at a place in my life where I need to release pets out into the wild, thank you for such a timely post.

In keeping with the metaphor, I have one pet in particular. This pet of mine hasn’t been fed of late, and neither has it been provided with any water. Given that I’m such a neglectful owner, my fear is that this pet would never return if I were to let it go (and who would blame it?) Is it wrong of me to keep this pet in the hope that one day, I’ll be able to re-kindle the time and attention it rightly deserves?

In real life, we have a pet dog and a cat - both of whom receive lots of care, attention, and ample sustinance!!! 👍

I had so many pets and then just went through brain cancer treatment and now I have no pets and it is a crazy feeling!

Sometimes you can keep a pet for a little while, and then let it go. For example, my husband and I DID build our own house. It took us 3 and a half years, but now we live in exactly the house we designed and love it! And I'll never do it again, nor do I need to.

Thanks, Derek. Good to hear from you again.

Once again, the wisdom of generations flowing through you brings me exactly what I needed to read.

This is so beautiful, thank you. I need to think about it.

I definitely feel this. My biggest struggle is letting go of that one pet that is not the one that I really want to focus my attention on, but it treats me really well and is hard to give up.

Very important, thank you. I wonder how this works with the idea of not quitting your job and working on your art in your free time. Isn't that too many pets?

Also, I would have enjoyed the metaphor a bit more if it involved taking farm animals behind the barn with the rifle. Not kidding, as farm animals are utilitarian and could be companions/familiars. The one that would break your heart, that would be harder to kill than going hungry that winter, that is the friend you keep.

Too much? Am I off the mailing list?

Hey Derek! Always love to hear your perspective on life. Always a blessing and always uplifting! Very valuable lessons to learn. Our lives become enamored with many side tracks and devotions to many things that divide our time. When it all comes down we have a limited amount of time. What we devote our time and attention is what will ultimately guide and direct our path. What it who we invest is will allow us to reap that reward if you will. Whether it is affection or attention always something to ponder. Thanks for this! God bless you friend!

A thoughtful read!

For twenty years, I've been tending to a notebook of 27 business ideas I'd like to start.
I've started 4 of them and I definitely need to let the others go.

Thanks for the push.

You had me fooled for a second! The problem with my pets is, I would bring one home, give it time, attention, love but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get housebroken or it would bite me. I would reluctantly let it go but would hang on to its toys, water bowl, bed, food. Then I would bring a new one home (different bred, mind you) and get all new toys, water bowl, bed and food. Same thing would happen again. And again. I finally decided to give up on pets and a stray showed up at my door and has been around ever since (over 5 years). Other pets (different kinds) have come and gone. Letting go is so hard. We dream of the possibilities. Now lately I find myself reminiscing about the old pets I gave away, forgetting how messy the "accidents" were, how expensive the constant feeding was. Forgetting why they're not around.

Fantastic. Really got me with thinking it was real pets. So I guess you aren't building your own house in NZ anymore?

Derek, you are awesome at framing things in language and metaphor: hell ya or no has been super useful to me and my family. Now, I'll be thinking, 'do I have too many pets?'

My first thought was that different pets require different amounts of attention. Goldfish seem happy if you feed them and keep their water clean. But dogs really love to walk and get treats and chase things. I have a little web hosting business that doesn't require too much attention. I do think about adding some automation or promoting it more. But - in it's current form - it's a Goldfish. So I'm happy to have it swimming in the background along with a few other Goldfish friends.

My second thought was that my house is full of animals that are inappropriate pets. I need to release some of the back in the wild where they belong. The wolf can stay - but I need to work on domesticating him a little - or he's oughta here too!

My last thought. Well, on this matter at least....I need to get rid of all the damn 'pets' that my friends and neighbours keep dropping off at my place - for me to look after!!

Thought provoking article as usual Derek. Thank you,
Dean

I'm a monomaniac, but didn't realize it til I heard you describe yourself this way. I love whatever of my top passions I'm doing at the moment. Warren Buffett says to make a list of 25 things you really want to do, circle your top 5, and never think about the other 20 again. (They're just distractions, or animals you hoard. The metaphor of pets is great and was a fun surprise!)

Kevin Kelly says he asks himself, "What is the thing only I can do? That's what I should do in this life."

All the other things you'd like to do are, like you said, daydreams you can just enjoy.

Would love to hear about the pet that kept coming back in a more literal sense. How so? Losing sleep over it? Are people bugging you about it? Combination?

Rank ordering my pets is a challenge.

Loved it Derek! Thanks much for doing what you do. I was hooked and delighted once I got to "Pet Project". I often feel Scattered and too busy. This was such a nice reflection

Yeah, I have been doing that for several years now. I did that for my father as well. Never connecting to the internet, he had no way of getting his cherished "pets" into the hands of someone who would love them as much as he.
I do, however, keep a "snapshot" of my own favorites. Instead of 15000 LP's I now have 20. Instead of a library I have a small bookcase of things I know I will read again.
Although, I find myself a magnet for people who are doing the same sort of thing out of desperation. Several friends who have recently had to clear out the homes of loved ones who have passed, have been trying to give me equipment (to supposedly use in my business) because they started looking at their own stacks of speakers and PA's and cables that they wont ever use and someone who has no idea of their worth will have to dispose of when they are gone.
Sometimes the search for a "good home" takes longer than I would like. The trick is to not be emotionally attached to any of it. So if it runs away or disappears I trust it will find the place it was supposed to be.
The pet that keeps returning (and somehow multiplying) is a guitar, and I am OK with that

Thanks for sharing Derek
Nice first world problem to have
The adoption and letting go cycle allow for self reflection and discovery
We all do this, some more frequently, some more consciously
Friends, titles, hobbies... less can be more

Good read. Very insightful. This is how I feel when I see people having too many kids. There is a high that comes with giving birth or adopting a baby but once it wears off people seem to need it again. It's the pets and kids that suffer from this addiction. BTY I'm one of nine kids so food and attention was often scarce, I'm afraid. Derek, you are very wise to recognize what you recognized. Hats off to you. Stay well.
Madeleine

Although this is a metaphor, it's something I think about pretty regularly. We bought a house this year. And I actually do love it. I've let go of my automotive hobby. As for actual pets. We have 3 dogs and one horse.

The horse is my wife's lifelong dream and a passion I've grown to have. We've shifted focus and an Equine business is what we're working towards now. Cars are stupid. Horses bring real connection and force people to learn patience and acceptance. Each have their different issues and potential.

Something my trainer tells me often. "What you're experiencing isn't your fault. You didn't cause it. But it is your problem. It's your responsibility to find the solution and work through it." I think that's a universal truth that spills out into nearly every aspect of life.

My sister was my pet. Like you, I released her into the wild. She turned into a trumpet, eventually earning a degree in jazz trumpet performance from Berkeley School of Music. Many lips warmed her mouthpiece.

After which she became a moon on some planet in another solar system.

We still keep in touch; she's doing well.

Oh my gosh, you got me with this one. Years ago our daughter rescued a pit bull puppy. She happily made a home with it in her own apartment. Circumstances changed and she moved home along with her puppy. Later she moved out again but asked us to take care of him. He's been here for the past nine years. He found his way into our hearts, he grew to be the best hiking companion a person could ask for, he fills our home with love. But like all adored pets, and people, time marches on and takes it's predictable toll. OUR beloved pit bull is older, still happy and can only make a short walk around the block.

In the end our pets, and pet projects, may only be here for a portion of the journey. Embrace the moment with the right match and know that opportunities to seize our dreams only last for a season.

As I've culled many email subscriptions your's stays on the list. Thank you for your succinct, funny and enlightening posts!

I love this metaphor and it came at an opportune time. I think I've been a poor pet owner to a lot of pets. I want to be a good pet owner to a few. Thanks again, Derek.

Love it! This article is quite liberating.

True True! I have always been a seeker and finally had the realization that what I was searching for was from within. Thank you for sharing such a Delightful metaphor!

Brilliant, Derek, thanks for writing. I love you man! ☺

Just like you, there is a pet that always comes back and doesn't leave, and I don't want to leave it anymore, so I embrace it, I make it mine and now I have many projects with it 😌

I want to write like this!

Sweet, Derek–thanx! For me the path u describe is one I took to true love so enjoy ur (pet?)pot of gold/the bliss of love & intimacy!! Glad we both found it b4 it was too late for my love did die physically 4 yrs ago & we never know when that will be, despite youth & being healthy. Tho I was comforted & loved by pets as a child, I fortunately learned from them that as an adult I wouldn’t have pets cuz it would take time from human contact, the same lack I experienced from absent/busy parents. Still I’ve turned my home’s city lot into a National Wildlife Backyard Habitat so I enjoy living in nature as 1 of her critters! I’ve also pet-sat for others, feed/tend/pet outside. Reading other posts I can see many are waking up & questioning our constant stimulation/quests for non-valued things, titles, & goals/pets, while Love, time & attention are what we seem to truly lack (tho an illusion) & desire. Sing with ur son to tune of Marianne: “Truth isn’t something to be sold, nothing to buy, possess or hold. Only understanding that can unfold when we grow wise as well as old.”

Thank you, Derek! The pet article is moving and delightful, and your insights are always heartwarming and useful.

Giving up is not the same as 'quitting'. Giving up something doesn't mean you couldn't have done it, and done it well.

Great post. Thank you

I think you've made a great metaphor. It's a reminder to me. Then I'm wondering what's the one always coming back for you?

Loved it! Which is the last pet, the one that stayed with you?

I agree with the 'having space' part of this. I have many interests as well and I came to the realization that I can't give the attention that they all seek. Serve one or two of these interests is enough. Enjoy what you choose to do with your time and focus on one thing at a time as well. Thanks for the insight.

Very insightful as always Derek. Thank you for this. Balancing the need for connection and the overwhelm of having too many "Pets" is tricky. Especially while riding the daily ebb and flow of needs for both.

My crazy dog, Winston, a terrifying terrior and now 16.7 years old has not left my side during all of these years. He is my last pet, however. No more.

Thanks for keeping in touch and sharing thoughts and feelings with people who also have good things to say. I used to teach music in public schools where we sang and danced and played instruments and put musicals on the stage. I used to walk across the playground and receive hugs from students as I said, "This is my lucky day!" And it makes me think of this Baha'i quote: "Strive that your actions day by day may be beautiful prayers." It's harder now to work with my pets due to arthritis and old age, but it's good to read about the success of other acquaintances such as you who are still going strong.

This reminded me a lot of the chapter "Subtract" in "Hell Yeah or No" (sive.rs/subtract). Replacing the abstract numbers 10, 17 and 20 with cute little animals with a beating heart and in need of attention creates an emotional twist that cold numbers can't convey. I remember the first time I read the book, I found the chapter quite stunning in its clarity. The second time I felt I probably needed to read the chapter on a regular basis to remind myself not to add 8 when I'm already at 17. Both "Subtract" and "Pets" also make me think of what Marie Kondo preaches in her approach to de-cluttering your life and making room for what you treasure most in an organized fashion. The comparison to Marie Kondo is limited though, because in her case she mostly deals with inanimate objects to organize in a home. What's fresh about "Pets" is how Derek infuses a pet project with a living breathing soul. One might be passionate about airplanes or carpentry or music. To an outsider, it's just another thing. To the passionate person, it's alive with a sense of purpose, and that's one of the things that resonated with me reading "pets".

Mine live outside (they're wild; many javelinas and turkeys, and I was just trying to photograph a loud, piping eagle that I can never seem to see) I feed them, and they all mirror my creative life.

Tell us what that last pet is!!

Nice! I'm looking at the banjo, mandolin, and tin whistle on the wall next to my guitar. I've put them aside for the last few years so that I could really progress on guitar.

Took me a while to learn, love is not about owning anyone. You only love someone according to the degree of freedom you give someone.

What a great question to ask someone to get to know them better.

I don't have any pets currently, but as a youngster, I had many. I really love animals, and both dogs and cats. There seems to be a dog versus cat debate among some friends, but I've always loved both. At some point, when I have the time to give to a new pet, I'm going to have one again.

Hi Derek:
Nice hearing from you. It's been a long time since you emailed us. Wow, I miss you from being in charge of CD Baby...Things are bad there. You wouldn't recognize it. Gone full corporate!!.
Re the pet article. just love it. My pet collection has dwindled down to one...1 cat.
N.

I'm with Devon, exactly what I needed to hear right now. I've been releasing a few tortured and neglected pets myself lately.

Aloha Derek,

Well that was a fun trample through the garden of opinions reading the comments below your article on "Pets". It was clever, and I believe it shows you are on the path that most of us find eventually ...if we keep thinking.
I was reminded of a podcast with Joe Rogan and Bill Burr. Bill was talking about a former famous TV Star that had a brief moment of being at the top of his game, and a long tail of smaller successes afterwards. Bill thought the guy crushed it.
But the famous Celebrity's last words to his daughter were: "I wasted so much time."

That confused Bill, because the guy "crushed it". He had money, fame, travel, experiences and adulation denied most of us. But in a brief moment of insight Bill said:

"I have a pool. Maybe that what he meant. When I was a starting out in Comedy I lived in an apartment in NYC with no AC. I swore someday I would have a pool. Now...I do. The world's most expensive puddle. I am never in it. I never just kick back and float around in the cool water. I have to go make money to maintain my lifestyle. I wonder if that is what he meant."

That is more of a paraphrase than a quote, I am working off of a seventy year old memory here. But it is the gist. I know that every meaningful experience in my seven decades was either free, or very nearly free. And those moments are either with someone I love, or an sweet memory.

Smiles, Kevin

Serendipity abounds. I have many pets I have penned up for lack of time to give them. This week I've been going through the pens and releasing pets. And cleaning the pens. Ugh, such an emotional chew toy.

Love this.

But damn, some of them have such cute eyes...

A miniature scale model of Gobekli Tepe and visiting every pub mentioned in Ulysses in particular!

sigh

:)

I let go of something recently. It hurts a bit, in the grand scheme of things I know I'll be okay. Much like anyone who takes inventory of their capacity for attention(?), If that even is the right word..

Corrie Ten Boom, author of "The Hiding Place". who survived a Nazi concentration camp after hiding Jews in Holland, once said she had learned not to hold on to things too tightly because it hurt too much when they are pried away. I'm in complete agreement with you Derek regarding your consideration of animals. I've seen too many pet owners who get their animals the best medical care available, along with the best food, but I've noticed the animals are left alone for ten hours a day. Of course, after work and the commute home, there's only a few minutes of the day that there is time to give them attention. The same argument could be used for having too many children to spend time with, but I'm too tired to go there.
BTW...get used to saying goodbye. The older you get, the longer the list of goodbyes gets.

Thank you for this, Derek. So relevant (to me) and timely.
PS, is you pet who wouldn't leave "build a house"?

Excellent article - and wow this hits home with me right now as I was already instinctively looking to make room in my creative life.

I tend to run all my creative projects like a creative garden. I plant lots of seeds and rotate crops so something is always coming into bloom. That being said, reading this I realize how much my attention gets divided. After reading this I looked back at my "now" page it's clear I have way too much in flight even with my scheme.

When I finished the article, one of my projects in particular popped into my head. The one that keeps coming back but never gets the attention it needs.

So thanks for this excellent allegory and tool.

Also, by freeing up some room now I may even have time to finish "Hell Yeah or No" 😉.

Ooooh! One of your absolute best pieces of writing! You had me going with the pet thing and I was about to lambast you for “releasing them into the wild” until you “let the cat out of the bag!” I can relate. Hardly a day goes by that I don’t feel grateful for the exponential reduction in stress and anxiety that came about when I finally released my pet “jazz singer.” People I know think it’s such a tragedy when they find out I no longer sing professionally, but I can now focus my energies on caring for my elderly dad and recreating home environments. Well done, Derek. Now, who/what’s the per that won’t stay away - writing?

No pets currently, but had lots of birds as a kid. Now it feels just wrong to cage an animal that was born to express the ultimate form of freedom.

Working with hundreds of entrepreneurs of every ilk, I've learned that for-profit entrepreneurs think that if they don't develop their idea someone else will; not-for-profit/social entrepreneurs think that if they don't, no one else will. I worked with Jim Henson (that one!) early in my career and a souvenir of that time reminds me of one of the lessons of his work. It's a book called, "Imagination Illustrated, The Jim Henson Journal." It's excerpts of his actual creative journals, scribbles, notes, musings, and there are thousands. The lesson: every idea (er, baby pet in Derek Speak) won't become an adult, nor should it. As prolific as he was, he filtered through preference and circumstance. And still he created.

Very apt! And exactly what I needed to read today. Thanks!

I kind of feel this way with my 4 kids... but I don't think I can release them into the wild yet ☺

JK Derek, loved this illustration and definitely found it relevant to all of my passion projects and To Do List Items

Thanks!

A fantastic metaphor, and one that's been playing out recently in my list of domain names which is now shrinking...

Very clever use of metaphor, Derek. I love it . When I first started reading I really thought you were talking about animal pets.

I assume your One Pet is ‘writing’.

I think about this all the time. I’m so afraid to let go of some Pets because I may miss them a lot.

I am productive, but we know progress in an area can be amplified by making it the overwhelming, primary focus.

Very nice article Derek ! but I do take issue with the usage of the term "Pet" though its only used as a metaphor here :) When we use the term "Pet" it kind of implies that we posses /own a living being for our personal entertainment /enjoyment .

The article very nicely illustrates our constant seeking and and our inherent reluctance to let go of anything . Also reminds me of this zen story of overflowing teacup . Just to put an existential twist to it , maybe this constant seeking is what makes us human ? Would a life without any dreams be worth living? May be we just have to come to terms with the fact that most of the dreams and aspirations we have will be left unfulfilled and our life shall remain incomplete in some sense .

So. Good.

I'm curious which pet kept coming back to you and now it's just you and her.

I have no problem focusing on just one pet. Unlike you, I kind of have the opposite problem. I cannot find that one pet that really grabs my heart.

For a time I also had no shortage of pets, and I was wracked with indecision about what to do with my life. As I learned to let go of physical objects in my life, so I began to learn to let go of ideas of my life.

Ultimately I came to this realization: "There is freedom in commitment."

Paradoxically, with all my freedom there were so many possibilities I became paralyzed with indecision. It wasn't until I began to commit to things that I felt free. Space freed up in my mind and in my life, and commitment begat commitment and as my path became more clear, so did my thoughts.

Ultimately the commitments I've made have been what I really and truly value in life. It took a lot of personal growth and maturity to finally admit to myself what those things were.

I used to have pets. When I decided to travel many years ago, my mother agreed to adopt my two cats. I never got another pet.

I love animals. However, as I have gotten older (and since I am a renter and many landlords will not rent to you if you have any pets), I appreciate the freedom and the feeling of not being responsible for another living creature.

I do house sit for a select group of friends who have animals, which I care for when I am house sitting. That fulfills my desire for that extra "heart hit of unconditional love".

I like my "pets" to be like cats. Where I can water and feed them once a day and they pretty much take care of themselves after that.

谢谢
Xièxiè

🙏

(Thank you in Chinese.)

I’ve been in a vortex of change for the past year and a half after losing my Mom and now moving. I’ve always crammed every day with a demanding job and too many hobbies. I’m learning that I’ve been carrying too much. It is good to reevaluate your pets and assess why you hang in to them. I’m hoping to get past this and reach a new stability that is more manageable.
Thanks for the food for thought. Well-timed

We are so blessed to live in such an abundant world. And that implies choice, knowing yourself and standing clear of expectations of others. Very exciting challenge considering how short life is! Thanks for the reminder Derek.

Monofocusing liberates me, too, but it's been a challenge to fully let go.

Setting all of my pets free and waiting to see which one keeps coming home to scratch on my door is a pretty good way to start, though.

Thanks, Derek.

It's a metaphor, but only half-way through the post I realized that. Had to go back to the beginning and read it again. I hope you didn't let go of that poor donkey, did you? sive.rs/donkey

A very real situation that we all come to deal with. The fading of life makes us prioritize what is most valuable to ourselves. Although there is much fruit to taste in this fleeting world, only some was meant for our individual selves, just for us.

I understand that this has nothing to do with pets and I love the analogy. If you wrote an article on focus it would not have impacted as much as this one did. This post made me think a lot today. Thanks Derek

Every Hello ends in goodby. Letting go is the ultimate lesson. We will all need to embrace the multiverse.

"Pets", can be analogy for many things, "tinker of many, master of none."
Pets do require time for proper care, as does one's career or any other commitment/relationship. When I was a touring musician, I rarely had a pet.

Touring was a gruesome schedule, most of it spent traveling from one venue to the next. I have replaced travel time with tending animals and ranch chores; oddly enough, my music has not suffered. Matter of fact, on my 75th birthday I released my best album yet,(Eclectic Rendezvous of the Soul,)a sacred music journey which I had time to develop away from the demands of the commercial arena.

Pets? Well, aside from my fav guitar, the last of my pet hens just died of old age, now living I have 5 dogs--4 fosters, 1 mine, 2 outdoor cats. My house is a designated Sanctuary Status for a local dog rescue; meaning that this is the last stop for these dogs who are deemed unadoptable--have special needs; i.e., one is a 220 lb Russian Mtn dog, previously abused, was biting everybody. Another 186 lb. dog is bi-polar, takes a treat, bites you anyway. It is amazing how calm an animal gets when you sing them a song with their name in it; they want a hug and roll over for a tummy rub.

Sometimes we have plans for out talents, as in music = financial success, which at least, I was able to make a living at my craft. Now I find another whole purpose for my talents, making up songs and singing to unhappy disturbed animals. I am awestruck seeing their transformation in less than a year. And...I get paid with dirty paws on my clothes, fur on my FUR-niture, head buts (bruises) on my legs, slime, slime, slime, and unconditional love. Much better than people spilling beer on my amp. Ahhh, life is good! Oh, and the welcome home barks are louder than any applause.

I've always been the type that did one thing 110% and had to let other things fall by the wayside. I like it that way. I've achieved "beyond my original dreams" in a few areas by putting on blinders. One time, my wife and her friends told our son to "Do as many things as possible, experience lots of different things." I said, I don't support that advice. Do one thing to expert level then try something new. I can't 'dabble'.

I love it. It's so much easier to understand the amount of attention every little pet project truly needs, when I think of them as living, breathing pets.

Very thoughtful article. I also decided on what I should focus on and release the ideas in my head that I was not committed to. As for actual pets, I never had any because I have an issue with claiming ownership of other living beings. No judgement on pet owners, just doesn't feel right for me when I can't get my own personal issues under total control.

Your writing clearly took a turn since the book. Or maybe I’m just imagining it 🙃

In true Derek style; “how can I see things through other people’s eyes”, I imagine that this female pet you kept releasing and kept coming back triggered this reflection and pushed you further down the rabbit hole of minimalism.

Anyhow, I appreciate the new twist on an idea I’ve heard many times from you as well as the emotional dimension this pet analogy gives to relinquishing the non-essential things / ideas / people from our lives.

Thank you 🙏

Between my kids and I we have:

4 dogs
3 cats
5 ferrets
3 bearded dragons
3 turtles

We are getting ready to add a axolotl to the mix later this month as well.

My daughter spends more time with her dog than her younger brother, or me for that matter. She has only one pet. Perhaps pets are easier to love than humans.

Who/what is the one pet that kept coming back?

Derek,

Lovely metaphor. I am doing the same right now. Less 'friends' and more people with the rare ability to be interested and interesting who can enrich the experience of living fully.

Regards
Andrew

I was in disbelief as I started reading this. You do not come off as a "house full of pets" kind of guy. I was off balance and then WHAM! The pet project thing hit me between the eyes. I can relate. The beauty of focus is underrated. That is what back burners are for... and really good assistants ;o)
Be well!

Great post Derek! I'm with Rex... release the tension and tell us which one kept coming back!

Which makes me wonder.... are there any pets that come and go with the different seasons of your year / life? In addition to that one that kept coming back of course ;)

I was fooled by your metaphor again 😁😂🤣
Once i knew it was a methapr( by reading your reply to the first reply) , the impact was like a tsunami . Thanks for it.

Hi Derek, I can guess which ‘pet’ came back. You will probably find at least one or two pets are connected. Enjoy the pets. Life is meant to live outside of oneself if we want to live to the fullest. You reminds me of Solomon.

What's a metaphor?

Sheep.

Sorry, couldn't help myself. Old family joke.

Lightening up/resetting goals is often a good thing. Nothing like reading my oldest journals to keep myself humble.

Oh, and I'm down to one dog, one cat, one husband, four guitars, and one accordion.

Unlike the donkey, you can always do one at a time :)

I love this analogy. It’s easy to relate to pets needing love and attention to thrive.
I know when I’m spreading my attention around too thin- it shows in how uncared for my priorities end up being. We only have
So much time and attention- where we focus matters.

I recently made a list of the things that I need to set free or at least a Not Yet list (for now). It was harder than I though, so much of my identity that has kept me afloat was tangled up in there. The turning point was reading an old notebook from close to a decade ago where I was struggling with the same "projects", wants, desires..etc. I guess my pets are older than I realized. My heartbreak comes now when I finally opened my eyes that I was someone else's pet....and I couldn't stop myself from coming back again and again....it was my fault yet again but....its time to look for a new home. Thanks Derek!

It feels nostalgic and sad. I feel identified with this history, I find it difficult to release them, I don't know how, love them all :(

Derek, I love your story. You are not alone with this, we want to give a home and love to every pet we encounter and we realize it can't be done! Glad the last pet came back and you have each other! Take care.

Wow synchronicity... This morning in my journal I wrestled with guilt from having too many goals and a desire to simplify and slow down. Later an email 'arrived' that caused me to explore the concept of Ikigai, then in the evening your email inviting comment on this post. The metaphor is nice, it is kinder to let some pets go to those who can connect fully. But the one that keeps coming back, I'm going to call her Ikigai - to give life worth, meaning and purpose. She wakes me up at 6:00 am in the morning licking my face, and is waiting for me with boundless energy when I get home from work in the evening.

Derek, thank you for this beautiful metaphor :) I've got this folder named "Projects" on my PC, which grows bigger and bigger. It kinds of bothering me sometimes when I open up and noticed the files inside sit for years and I never really put any of my attention to them. Today, I let them go and hope that I'm as lucky as you, waiting for the right one to come back, cheers!

I do not have a pet but I like them. Every now and then I visit to places of my friends to play with their pets.

I think that pets come to our lives to teach us something, and yes sometimes we need to let them go when we have already learned the lesson...right now I have four pets and I'm still learning from them, maybe I'll let go a couple of them in a few years, eventually I think that maybe I'll no longer have pets, but...who knows?

Love it! I feel the weight of too many ‘pets’ and have been working on letting some free. I am now continually reminding myself - if it’s not ‘hell yeah!’ - it’s NO.
Love your thinking/ writing.

Yea I have never had to many at once. My beautiful cat got run over. I have the cats opposition now. I feed some birds and they just come and go free. They sit on my shoulder and head. Drop in to say hi when I am working out and about. So great. I was in my covered orchard the other day. The bird was on the outside me on the inside. Mmm that was cause for thought. About 16 to 20 come for the feed. Guess that's a lot of pets. Butcher Birds and Magpies.

When I started to read this, I thought you were a bit of a weirdo. How many pets do you have!? And then you say : «So, I started releasing them back into the wild.» Then I started wondering what crazy animals you were having for pets, or how mean it would be to leave a domesticated pet «free» in the wild.

So your twist is brilliant. Really makes an impact.

I find the story so true. In order to be happy and true to yourself, you have to say no to almost everything. I have very few friends, but I make sure I am there for them. I do very few things every week, but I try do do them really well. It is not really about choosing what you like, because there are simply too many nice things in life.

Also love Darrell’s reply (nr 24):

If you love someone
Set them free
If they come back to you
It was meant to be

When it comes to real pets - it’s easy to imagine what a mess they’ll add into your life, with that clear understanding of problems - it’s much easier to stop yourself from getting new pet. With metaphor pets it’s really hard (unless you have clear understanding of their place in your life) to have clear idea what these new pets can do with your life, that’s why it’s much harder to reject getting new one.
So with that said, I have one dog and a lot of metaphor pets I cannot resist getting…

Perfect timing! I let go of my desire to become a coder, a blogger, a writer, a YouTuber, and entrepreneur for passive income. Now I just want to be the best dad to my 3-year old toddler and a focused college counselor (been at this for 12 years). I want to have a YouTube channel the fun though! Your post re-affirmed me that I’m on the right track. So thank you very much!

Derek,

Woof! This one hit me straight between the eyes.

Brilliant post and absolutely on point.

Reminds me "Just one Thing."

Thanks for sharing this my friend.

Mike

i think you can do all of these, feeding them the best you can with the time management you like, setting up kind of auto-feed systems for some, delegate to a loved one for some other, refocus, defocus, etc... i think that instinctively you won't add more than you can handle. and that maybe your metaphor is a tease.

Somehow, I am inclined to connect this article with the title of your previous book "Hell Yeah Or No" and Shane Parrish's quote "Results come when you focus on one thing for an uncommonly long period of time" (the pet that keeps coming back to you again and again). This is such a wonderful metaphor for everything in life.
"Feeling unconflicted" is also profound. Quite often, giving up your pets involves a great deal of suffering, pain, and loss aversion-related biases. It's, therefore, a difficult ask, but i think one will have to learn this over time and continue to keep getting better at it.
Thanks for writing this, will keep coming back to this in the future!

Focus bundled with relentless drive.

Derek, what an inspiration. I'm currently in the pet collection phase and learning... Someone once said, if you buy a new piece for your wardrobe, or a new book, give an "old" one away to friends, goodwill, library, or to wherever it feels good. Guess the "pet" collection and its renewal goes in this direction, too. Wait, which pet should I release into the wild first?...

Somewhere in the middle of the text I realised you are not actually talking about pets :). This is so, so cool and I couldn't relate to it more. Sooo many pets, so many dreams and in the end so much half-assing... I will use a qoute from my behavioural psychologist friend:100% is much easier to maintain than 99%. And I find this to be very true. So, either you give something 100% or you give it nothing. Middle ground leads to disappointment and unhappiness.

I don't have a pet at present Derek. Been on my own now for the past 22 years.

Very interesting reality to my situation.
I tabulate my pets in a word format and store away while dealing with the present. I pull out my memo to refresh and assure myself that one day I might cross the bridge and bring them unto reality. Sometimes I change altogether

Well, we don't have any fury little creatures around the house because my husband has Asthma,and can only take 3 months at a time, of a cat or dog. We do have fish however, and we do have a feeder and a friend that comes by to make sure they are fed and look out after our house and the mail and any packages that may have arrived in our absence. Its a huge responsibility and yes its unfair to spread yourself too thin, in sharing your attention and love for each pet, and its also unfair to you, as it is often a distraction from achieving something personal for ones self. Many times a pet comes into a persons life to help them to heal from a lessor absence of a relationship or difficulty with a child or relative. Now, hey this is only my opinion,Im sure other people feel very differently about this. I have a cat that visits from time to time ,and I now her owner from down the street . I let her now when she's here a long time and if she is missing her. She's a funny little character, and likes to take her own "Little Holiday" from time to time. She comes and she goes, and sometimes disappears for 6-8 months at a time. Its a perfect relationship for our busy lifestyle. Its Karma, as in most relationships, something learned ,appreciated ,and gained, so that we can transcend.

I feel like ALL of my pet projects keep coming back 😅

Very insightful piece Derek. We are all attracted to various pet projects forgetting the time,energy and financial requirements they would demand from us. It's all about arranging all our desires and aspirations in a scale of preference. Then we let go the one that gives the lowest ROI for our Time and Money investment.

Reminds me of a piece of advice of yours that I recall:

Don’t be a donkey 😊

Nice analogy!

I may have a different shade of this problem. I focus on a single pet, but she doesn't need my love anymore. At the same time there's another pet that would thrive with my attention.

The hardest challenge is the same in any case: how do you choose YOUR pet? Which one do you leave? Which one stays with you?

Thanks for the article, and very timely for me!

After a recent milestone birthday, I’ve been trying to look back, let go, and figure out where to focus whatever time remains. So far I’m most comfortable with the idea of having no pets at all, but maybe just have to wait a bit longer to see what comes back.

Ok, ok. I have too many plugins. I will probably ever only use 5 or 6 in the end. I get it…I’ve got to set them free - which will in turn free me and my REAL pet, music - or is music my kid…?
ANYHOO… thanks Derek. Point(s) well taken.

Time and attention are the true limited resources today. This is spot on.

I’m loving your book, How To Live. Thank you, Derek. My pet is Music, and I’m committed to devoting loving attention to it and appreciation for it everyday. As I’m learning, I want to share, connect, and empathize with others as they learn too.

Perfect. When I saw the headline of your email, my first thought was I have no pets, but way too many pet projects. I appreciate where you went with this and it's a good reminder that I can't take care of all my pet projects. Thank you for being you and sharing it with us.

Lovely. Thanks for sharing. (Curious about the one kept pet.)

“If you love something set it free. If it comes back it's yours. If not, it was never meant to be."

Curious, Derek: Which metaphorical pet kept returning? What can we expect from you in the future?

Good thoughts. As a function of protecting our family from Covid19, I have dropped many activities/projects, and downsized others. I feel actually retired now, for the first time since I first retired in 2000, and since I retired *again* in 2017.
The main difference is that I sleep a bit more. But I still do the things that are important to me, which includes taking care of our own four pets, plus the foster pets that we take in for a local pet rescue.
Like a lot of us who follow your progress through the universe, I'm wondering which pet you accepted back into your life. Hoping you'll work it into an essay soon!
Thanks
Thom

Great write up and a beautiful metaphor. Love your writing style :)
Cheers from Russia!

So true - I seem to have so many things I want to do - yet commit to none… as can’t be sure which one is more deserving. Loved this!

Wonderful analogy here. It reminds me of how in judo, judoka typically focus on one technique. This is called "得意技" (tokuiwaza), which can be translated as one's "signature move" or one's "pet technique." While this doesn't mean that a judoka only learns that one technique, they put the vast majority of their effort learning everything they can about their tokuiwaza. But it can only be done by actively saying no to all the other "pets" they could focus on.

I think it's an age thing. Or a Stoic thing. Or both. When we realise that we have only so many years/ months/ weeks/ days left, we have to stop fooling ourselves that the open-top sports car in Paris ain't ever gonna happen (TY Marianne Faithfull). And you know? Some aren't pets at all, they're just short term infatuations with someone else's ideas.

I love this post. There's so many projects and hobbies that I have had that it was hard to make progress on any of them. It creates mental clutter.

You hooked me! Well done!

Not even sure where you are these days

I love that one pet kept coming back. Love has it's way.
much love to you friend
Nicola

Interesting article!

I thinks pets (or plans) are both the same. You need to give them attention and you need to be dedicated. At different times in our lives we can deal with different amounts of pets, depending on various elements, for example your lifestyle and your needs as a person. It is a matter of at which stage you are in your life and how much dedication you can offer. Internal balance.

Thanks Derek,

Giacomo M.

What/who is the forever pet?????????????????????????????

Beautiful and inspiring. Thanks

Hi Derek,
It’s nice to choose pets. I have a few, not many. Because there is little room. You see, I have vermin. The size of an elephant. It just stood there one day, uninvited. Sometimes it stands in a corner and I have room for pets I do like. But most of the time it eats and shits all over the place. I’m trying to love this vermin, like a pet….because this one is here to stay.

Hi Derek,
Good to hear from you so I know you are well. I've only really ever had one PET and it's the one that still keeps me motivated. Without my pet I'd be miserable and wouldn't what to do. I love my pet better than anything I know.

Love the post. Thanks for writing this. The love and the guilt - ah, perfect.

I have one pet but that doens't give me time. The pet is always busy.

The pet after all, Derek, was adding warm inspiration to the world!

I am life's pet.

We’ve known each other for a long time Derek. I remember meeting you in Nashville at some convention 1 million years ago. I’m one of those guys that has many interests/pets are so over the years. But I never looked for them, they just found me. I think it comes from the attitude of how can I be of service? How can I help? And yes it’s always good for her self-esteem to be loving caring helping or otherwise.
When I left my job in Washington DC and headed south on my motorcycle with a newly adopted black Labrador retriever and an old guitar I had no idea what I was doing or where I was going.
By the time I had been in the Florida Keys for a year I had a big sailboat a house three dogs two cats a girlfriend and a pretty good job doing pretty much the same thing I did in Washington DC. Building electronics surveillance gear. I know this article isn’t really about pets. The pets in my life have always been music, electronics, animals, boats ,ham radio, etc.
I feel like when the need arises for my particular acquired skills or talents then that’s the path/pet that I adopt. For a time.
It’s not really possible for me to concentrate mote than one at a time. But I do dive in fully whether it’s with the not-for-profit company or touring or performing or animal rescue. It’s kind of the spice of life. When I met you somebody had just described my band as Hillbilly Flamenco. And I put all my concentration and identification into that project long enough to launch a successful career that has financed all the rest of my paths and loves.
I think it’s like the giving tree. You have to fully love what you love when you’re loving it but not restrict yourself from moving on. Kind of like a winding river.
See what happens when I drink coffee in the morning?

Beautiful metphore. Can you share which pet kept coming back?

Despite years of effort, my music business never got off the ground, and I am finally realizing that I can never be the promoter I thought I was, and maybe I am not even the musician I thought I was. It's a slow, painful parting, but that is one of my former "pets". The truth is there is only a tiny part of the population who likes my music enough to pay for it, and they are hard to find.
It's over.
There is now an electronics business which looked like it was going to work for a while, but hit a brick wall a few years ago, when my slowly growing sales suddenly plunged to near zero with no explanation I could find. I am slowly starting to think the same about it. The covid is the final nail in the coffin for that one, which was already near death when it happened.
Now I am just a retired old fart, trying to live on a much smaller nest egg than I ever thought was possible, and I guess that's just the way it is from now on.
I wonder what my life might have been like if I had not wasted so much of everything I had on those pipe dreams and had gone for a more "normal" life.

Much needed metaphor. Time to grieve some losses.
Already began this process but still some lingering entanglements.
Phew. Right on time.

After thinking about this question for a day, it's apparent to me that I have three pets, or more like one pet with three heads. In life I pursue one overall artistic vision and the three pipelines of that vision are experimental visual art, experimental music and experimental video. The textures and visceral vibe of these three passions are the same, only the mediums are different. I've found that it helps to have a little variety in "pets" but not so much that it gets distracting and frustrating. And then there's that whole other subject of that smart, petite, polite, magical tuxedo short hair creature in our lives named Sylvia who is a muse and so much more...

The transition from "pet" to "pet project" will be smoother if more explicit. You risk losing the reader otherwise

Somehthing like:
"Wy pets are not animals. They are dreams, goals.
Write a rock opera.
Learn Chinese.
Build a house.
Each of them adorable. Each of them dear to my heart, and walking along with me, faithfully."

Genius.

The moral of the story... let go, if it's worthwhile it will always come back?

Nice article, and beautiful to see the comments and associations from all over the world!

Lovely.

I just left my job due to conflicts of what I really wanted to focus on so this hits home. A lot of people told me I was daft to walk away from the money and I should just "start something on the side", I think this explains why that's a bad idea :)

Creatively written and full of ringing truths. Amazing how many people entirely missed the point of your metaphor, but if it got them thinking, so be it. Thanks for bringing this article to my attention.

If you love your pets, set them free....


(PS please put the comment section on top, before the actual comments. had to scroll 460 comments and somehow the sidebar didnt work.)
What Sean Crawford said, below. I know it’s a bit inconvenient, but thought it was important so that everyone doesn’t keep asking a question already answered. Also, try using the [END] key on your keyboard, if on a computer. It jumps to the end of a web page. — Derek

I disagree with JC above, because to me it is common sense to read previous comments before I post. If I don't, then I might end up, at best, being a bore by repeating what someone else said, or, at worst, getting needlessly angry at something that has already been explained or apologized for.

I hate it when people condemn Derek when it is their own fault for being too lazy or too discourteous to read.

For any blog, not just Derek's, if you are going to comment in such a way as to dismay fellow readers then you have a duty of care towards them, a common courtesy, to first read carefully to give yourself as much reading comprehension as we would expect from a schoolchild.

can't wait to hear which kept coming back and that you have decided to now give all your focus to ☺
The “she” that kept coming back was my book, “How to Live” — Derek

Ha ha, I know you by now and knew exactly where this post was going... Love it! I have two pets. Their names are Edward and Lois. They are real, warm blooded chihuahuas who shower me with love and help keep me balanced so that I remember to take breaks, and take walks and nuture my need for love and affection. This gives me the strength I need to re-build our business from the ashes of covid...

I had 4 dogs (2 poodles, 2 border collies) and 1 parrot... until we had to move from Brazil to Europe. We brought only the poodles. One died last year. Now we have just Lola (the poodle). Our vacations in French riviera we had to select beaches where dogs are accepted (even she is a very small poodle). We feel like the family is reducing...Lola has already 11 years old. We (in our 50's) do not think to have another pet when Lola will be gone. She is following my daughter growing (my daughters now has 21 yo).

Thanks for this post Derek. I have too many pets when I'm thinking about this. It's incredibly hard to let go of any of them but I need to try it. I will see which one will come back. :)

I made the decision to not have any more pets in my life after the death of my soul dog back in October of 2019. I had her for 14 loving beautiful years, I dedicated my life to that gentle soul. It's a mix between not wanting to go through that excruciating pain of loss...but on the other hand, having let her go taught me so many things about myself and helped me step up to the next phase of my life. She will forever be my little guru.

Hey Derek,

Thanks for sharing this message. It was definitely one I needed to hear at this moment. I have recently let a couple of my "pets" go, but I have a couple more that need to be set free. Now to decide which ones. ;)

Thanks for your generosity!
Vi

You can only concentrate on one thing at a time. Give it your undivided attention. The trick is which one?

Exactly what I needed to hear! Thank you. I reached out to you a couple of years ago about selling my business. It made me feel like a million bucks when you took time to help me! I'm still working on a business I should have sold years ago... so I'm working it half heartedly. And, at the same time, I'm trying to do this hearing aid sales job which I really like but I have all these other pets needing attention too. Time to simplify and focus!

I think that Chinese pet came into my house.

I think I had too few pets as a child and never found THE ONE!
Now I mourn not having that pet that means everything, that purpose.

So you're building the house.

I feel like I have so many pets because I can't find the one I truly love, so I just keeping collecting pets and chasing after anyone that interests me. (Pets of course is a standin for hobbies here) :)

Always good to hear your thoughts! So TRUE! In this world of too many distractions it is hard to stay focused. Thank God, thanks to C..., and less distractions work wise (less gigs, less vocal students), I learned to stay more focused, and I am actually successful in completing some of my "pets". ☺ I wish the same to all of you ...

Love it and fully relate to it.

I have too many pets and each one gets a bit of my time. I'm not yet at that stage where I'm ready to give up any of them. Maybe in a few years

Great short story! I'm currently reading a book called "goodbye, things" by Fumio Sasaki. I do not desire to be a minimalist and yet I am aided by this book. There's always a place to begin. Chapters include: Why did we accumulate so much in the first place? 55 tips to help you say goodbye to your things, and 12 ways I've changed since I said goodbye to my things. ...Anyway you get the idea. Its a worthwhile read for anyone..But to you : thank you Derek.

True situation: I have 4 cats, all unrelated rescue adoptees. They have gotten to know each other, and now play together, so they entertain each other when I am not around.
To relate to your allegory, maybe we set up a business (or non-profit org) and then teach others to run it, so that we can let it go and be free.

Hey Derek,

I really enjoyed the post. It took me a minute to realize what was really the topic. But I got there soon enough. Knowing your work and the past you shared I would not think of you having too many pets at one time. It was a nice reminder that we are not so different in the world.

Thank you for keeping one pet,

Erik

I don't think it's a bad thing to have a multitude of pets. You organize and prioritize and give each it's due benevolence and you'll have a very fulfilled life. If we set our face just in One direction will never learn new things will never venture out to conquer new things. It's the process of having multiple pets by which we reach our ultimate goal. I know that's how it is in my life. And I'm doing very well at it, I love multiple pets and I can provide each and every one of them the amount of time that they truly need. Very nice story though but we have to realize each story is something to personalize. Much love Derek

Pastor Reverend Tina Redden LittleJohn

Part 2 of 2

You better leap through every door that's open to you. Receive every opportunity that you get or one day in life you're going to look back and say "if I could have, and i should have, because if I did, now I would have this, that and many other things to call my own".

Again much love to you Derek keep them coming

Pastor Reverend Tina Redden littlejohn

Derek,
I love this one and I relate 100 percent! The ending was perfect,and I am seeing this in my own life as well.
Well done my man!🥰
Diane Samons

So many directions it can go with the metaphorical “pets” article, it is so Derek-style of communicating rich meaning in apparently simple story! It reminds me of so many questions:
Why do I have to go through so many “pets” to find the one meant for me? Why do I adopt so many “pets” out of “love” yet fail to give due love? Maybe these pets were sent to my way, or they pave the way for me to discover and see self? …
Congratulations, Derek, to you and the pet that finds home in each other!

Hey Derek

This made me smile.

Thank you

-chef

I like your timing. This is exactly where I'm at. I kept running after each pet, having fun, but it got me exhausted. So I tried to enjoy them when they were sleeping, curled op and comfortable. But they kept waking up, immediately jumping up and down. I had to make a choice. I think I made the right one. But maybe it's not about 'which' one.

Very cool.
Keep it up!

Such a charming story. We have two birds and I never though about how true it is that there has been times when I gave more attention to one of our birds than the other (most favorite). I would have never realized that this was occurring until I read your article. They all deserve to be equally loved. The saddest thing about having a pet is that their lives does not last very long (except for cats) and it is just as painful as losing a human friend-relative etc., when they pass away. Therefore leaving me with an endless revolving door of getting another companion/partner/friend for the one(s) left behind. Great article Derek. Thanks!!

Hi Derek, thanks for adding me to the list.

I was amazed that you often interact with your audience.

Basically, I don't have a pet, it's because I stay with my parents and they don't like often.

It's good to hear that you learning Chinese maybe we can interact through Chinese since it's one of my country's languages.

Thank you for reading Derek.

There is power in simplicity. It is not daily increase, but daily decrease that leads to clarity and beauty. Your letting "pets" go is a perfect example of this philosophy. However as often is the case executing simplicity is often more complex that we would dare to believe. So we often put this off. Your message is powerful, and encourages me to face the challenge as i definitely need to let some pets go back to the wild :) Best as ever Peter

This reminds me of a story from a friend. She is a painter going through a rough period without inspiration. Even though she had been prolific in the past, every time she sat down to paint she felt nothing but the pressure to do so - no flow. She stored her entire archive of past paintings in a little shack in the back of her property in the beautiful countryside north of San Francisco. One day, feeling fed-up and in need of movement, she decided to give up painting all together. She had a huge bonfire of her entire archive of paintings that was filling that old shack from wall to wall. Watching it burn, she felt both sadness and relief. Letting it all go was scary, she identified as a painter, but it was also liberating. When it was over, she returned to the now empty shack and seeing how the light came into the windows that were previously blocked by canvas, she had an epiphany "what a great place to paint!". And so the creative flow returned and she entered a whole new phase of her career as a painter with new textures and compositions and new inspiration.

I have several pets.
They live in a journal. Some kenneled temporarily, some long-term... some are probably dead.

Some get more attention and are far more demanding than others, but I still have hope that some of the quiet ones in the corner will get the attention they deserve when the time is right.

They aren’t bad pets, they just don’t need or want my attention at the moment.

(I also have two dogs).

—Steve

Can I guess that stubborn pet would be Writing?

It's funny that the other day I was remembering a book from my childhood (Mr. Ape by Dick King Smith) where the protagonist filled his house up with too many pets :)


I'll tell you that I may or may not have picked a wild mushrooms and ever since I've found myself alot more decisive with regard to the pets i keep and pursue. It probably didn't help that up to that point it had been (and still is) a ritual of mine to capture all of the possibilities and concepts or options I sporadically come up with.

Makes me think of Martin Atkins Music Industry presentation.
Reason your screwed #xxx:
All you do is practice! You need to look at all the other things surrounding the business, start a blog, do your publicity, network on social media...

Reason your screwed #xxx+1:
Your trying to do to many things! A jack of all trades, master of none. If you really want to make it you need to hit the woodshed and hone your craft!

Good luck Mr. Sivers. Always enjoyed a read since there was a baby's face in the middle of a CD.

From Kyla's story at #390: Maybe if I gave up my "too many" books I would feel much better, and still get enough more!

A pet can be a lifestyle-place, such as living in the bush, or among a gorgeous futuristic college campus, or having six happy years in the armed forces. But if you stay with the pet too long it becomes frozen.

To me that is the metaphor of folk rock song Valdy sings, "Peter and Lou" with the line "I'm standing alone on the ice, wondering if maybe they'd been right" (to leave)

Short, succinct and so appropriate! You have so many valuable life lessons you are passing on. Thankyou Derek.

I'm a bit late to the comment party this time. Wow, I came in 496th place just to say that I actually see myself as the pet to my many callings or passions and goals. Maybe someone already said that though? I don't feel neglected when one passion is more present than the other. Or am I missing the point?

I finally found a way to keep my pets together happily, but alas, it was almost too long in coming...

It is easy to burden oneself with a heavy load,
but hard to let go.

Time is precious, every moment a gem.

Dreams and hopes clamor for attention. They fog my brain with choices. What should I do? Which path should I take?

Freedom comes from letting go. Love grows out of attention.

Thank you, Derek, for your parable

I have a pet (project) I'm currently OBSESSED with. I can't commit because its execution is just out of my price range. It is a great distraction though, so like you said, I am enjoying the daydream. I will be mindful that it doesn't take away from the important things...even little things like cleaning the house :). Thanks for this Derek. It was really helpful.

Agreed, this is a valuable metaphor. And one additional perspective that my wife gave me (who is a pet enthusiast ☺ is that the pets can be connected like brothers and sisters. They love being with each other and playing together - even while you're focused on another. If (...a big if...) it all works well together, then collectively it can be a nice way to live life ☺

Caught this email in my spam folder. I guess my inbox doesn't like questions.

I got excited thinking you were talking about actual pets since I have two dogs I love so much. But, it seemed odd since I knew you had given your dog away to your sister. I'm glad I read the post all the way through!

I wish I could keep my commitment to my "pets." I only pay attention to others. I want to be more selfish - just like you.

Great metaphor. Yep, I've been holding onto too many as well. Some I didn't even love that much, they just sounded nice at the time or I thought other people would like it if I had that pet. Thanks for the idea of giving these pets new homes. As always, brilliant!

Interesting metaphor.
Btw, Can you add a comment shortcut so that don't have to scroll, scroll, scroll.

Ooatuoo, a respected Vietnamese meditation expert said you can walk, walk walk with with mindfulness.

Meanwhile, if you scroll without mindfulness you will miss the comments at #461 and 462 by JC and Sean Crawford.

Dear Sir
I wished to have pets but never had

However in my home Sparrows built their nests & had eggs & chicks
We used to enjoy their sounds & one time I have to have the lights on & fans off in my bedroom to make sure the chicks aren’t afraid & they don’t get hurt.

Once I have saved 3 pups (stray dogs) when my area was flooded & allowed them to stay till the flood got dried & things became normal.

Except these I have no interaction with Animals much
Yours
VN

Oh man.....

You will never know how perfect this was for me. It took me a few days to read it because I was tending to so many of my pets. Each one is "the one I was looking for" until the next new one showed up.

There is so much excitement when you come home with a new one that you never notice how much it takes away from last week's "new one".

Maybe it's time to rehome a few of them.

Thanks again for being open to sharing your perspective. It's encouraging to know I'm not alone.

Once again, brilliant perspective.

As always, I enjoyed your writing, though the metaphor was completely lost in my pretty autistic brain. Good thing I also really enjoy reading comments. After which I couldn't believe I missed it. I totally resonate with the concept. Food for thought.

I like pets but don't keep them. They die and then I feel like crap. But, that one YOU have Derek....the one that kept coming back....obviously didn't mind being left alone or it wouldn't have kept coming back.

Derek, did you know “quit” comes from old French, meaning “to free” or “to release”?

A gem shared by a generous guy a few years ago: sive.rs/quit

:)
☺ — Derek

When an anime Evangelion movie played one night only in a real movie theatre, and the trailer for a National (stage) Theatre production listed names, I was the one who shouted to my fellow nerds, "Hey, that was Rose Tyler(Billie Piper) from Doctor Who!" (I blogged about that night)

I just learned today that although Piper had an unprecedented two #1 record chart singles at an early age, she quit her singing career for acting. I don't know if I could give up a pet like that. It helped that she was tied up for a while in a court case against a stalker. "The court case succeeded in doing what I alone could not – cutting the ties. Without it I might have been tempted back."

Derek, you put so many man hours into music and learning to sing well, yet you gave up that pet, even giving away your instruments and sound system. Again, I don't know if I could do that, but I love having real life examples that it can be done. ... I might soon be giving up something I spent many man hours at over a decade, but I don't want to shoot my mouth off yet... in case I don't.

In October I will be visiting my old regiment, for the first time since I left, and telling war stories. I am sure the boys will buy me all my beer. For years after leaving I had survivor guilt dreams. Life goes on, like athletes leaving Mount Olympus.

I've always remembered what you said in the Tim Ferriss podcast "don't be a donkey." And this reminds me of that

I have always been a one pet kind of guy and I do believe you made the exact right decision, Derek! I'm sure it was a tough, but better for everyone in the long run! Every living thing craves attention and needs it to thrive, so it was very unselfish of you to release the pets to new loving owners, who can give some one on one time to each pet. It was extremely nice of you to even offer your home for the pets to begin with. Thanks for sharing your awesome stories. I truly enjoy them as usual! Have a terrific weekend ahead, Derek!

Trey :)
WhiskeyChild.com

“A jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one.” - I'll finish my point with this saying in mind.

I do agree the space and focus matters. On the other hand, having multiple pets is the best way to learn, explore, and iterate over ideas in life. Deep focus on "the one" seems like a function of maturity in life the accomplished and experienced can afford. For the young and still growing, I think, the metaphor is the opposite.

-Naz 🥑

Quite the clever way to create curiosity about your current "pet" project! Kudos! ;-)

Excellent read Derek. Clever point of view and a slap on the face eyeopener. Yep, guilty as well my friend.

Been thinking about this for days. I only have one cat. She gets all the attention she deserves. But indeed, there are "pets" all over the place, both figuratively and physically. Great perspective. Thank You.

Amazing metaphor, and definitely something to think about literally. I adopted Thunder last October and has changed my priorities completely, lost my "first" ambition and relaxed my expectations. Also in my love life helped being more "picky" as no everybody have earned the privilege to spend time with him (not even thinking of me, see, huh?). Thank you, as always!

Indeed focus is the key... as I read your post to distract myself from completing my 'pet' project of completing my first speech. LOL! Thanks for your thoughts. <3

I love the metaphor. More importantly, it got me thinking about where to focus my own efforts outside of a busy job. Thanks.

What an excellent metaphor. It's easy to overcommit to too many ideas at once, but starting to think of them as living things that require consistent attention, care, and love is a great way to force prioritization.

I definitely have a "too many pets" problem; I want to do everything, and end up doing none of them.

I shall try to remember this piece next time another pet tries to enter my life...

I confess I am running a full blown pet rescue centre. A veritable Noah’s ark of eclectic animals.

May need therapy.

I see Paula at #515 is doing her first speech. Hurray! Maybe she's in Toastmasters International where you meet the nicest people.

I want to say that Toastmasters is terrific for building self confidence, not just for speeches, but for the Zen of "speaking off the cuff." Spontaneously. Less that half the weekly meeting is for speeches, there is other stuff too, including someone being volunteering a week in advance to tell something funny.

in my city half the meetings are over the lunch hour in office buildings, but I prefer the two hour evening ones, partly because I can socialize during the break. We joke that half of us are engineers (a less verbal profession) In reality, only a third of us are.

I was born into a family that had dogs. The most I've had were six. Quite a lot, but I loved them and enjoyed having that many. Now, we have three. We even bought a class A diesel pusher just so we could take them with us on vacations.

I enjoyed the idea of pets as a metaphor. Now I'm thinking about which of my 'pets' I can release and which I want to truly focus on because they're the most important to me right now. Thanks Derek, always a pleasure to read what you're thinking about and working on.

thank you Derek - loved the metaphor for how vividly it captured the sentiments shared. I'm actually reestablishing a connection with a pet project I've put away too many times but it keeps coming back. I'm also at peace with the ones I've let go and feeling so much better to have such a cluttered space of pets all jumping for attention and finding me unavailable most of the time.

Cheers from Boulder County, CO (my new adventure)

Kyle

I have too many pets. And they keep coming.
Totally right on your words and deciding how to let go and give my attention to my the “pets” I can take care.
Thank you!

I love the use of pets as a metaphor for the expectations that we put on ourselves as things we need to have, achieve, be in order to be successful/whole... and the reminder on how important FOCUS is!

Thank you!

I understand what you are saying too many irons in the fire keeps us from doing what's important. Our babies deserve their time. They don't ask to be brought in our world. I had two cats several times in my life. I worked so hard with the different personalities. Even now with Lilly its a lot of work! I can not have two cats. I don't have time for more irons in the fire. I have my music and things I am still learning about producing. You think when Lilly wants me to rub her cheeks I can say no. I have and when I see her sad face walk away I stop most of the time. And I LOVE cats and just seeing them at the pet store or the cuties in the neighborhood I just want to rub them. Its not fair so I won't rub them. The cat may think she's going to take me home. I am such a softie. Thank you Derek for this eye opening topic. The next time I want to sit at my sewing machine and don't I won't feel too bad. hahahahahahah

Crap. Super insightful! I have 6 four-legged pets and just as many "Sivers" pets... In fact, besides working, I was landscaping my yard, learning both Spanish and Chinese at the same time, and more! Then a health challenge arose which forced me to focus on one thing... my health. So, I hear ya. I had to put all pets which didn't require being fed out to pasture. I do plan on picking up Spanish again now that my head and body have been recalibrated. :)

Brilliant. This will really help me in the process of letting things go - really hard to do but essential to find that pet that keeps coming back. Love the illustration too.

Great read. I have been struggling with obtaining more and more "Pets" I need to give some away and find new homes for some of them. Thank you for the great read!

Great metaphor that I think highlights that we should place our focus on our greatest love

You know me well enough to understand how much it resonates with me ;) thanks for sharing, always happy to read you. X Martha

Sometimes I lose my pet to resistance, but in time I conquer resistance, at least temporarily, and return to my pet...an ongoing thing....

It's funny how sometimes you read something at just the right moment. Time too clear a little space. Thank you

Great metaphor 🌷
I have one pet who likes to have many pets.

Struggling with many pets right now, time to do some cleaning :)

I love how you walk the talk. Deeply inspiring work. Thank you, Derek.

I've come back to singing (performing) jazz so many times I can't count them. Just happened again at 84. Guess that's my one pet that doesn't go away, outside of regaining my true self, but I'm always disappointed, both with bookings and chops (not having that many bookings is really bad for my chops) and don't push thru that.

This made that all clearer for me. Thanks.

I wonder who is this loyal pet that kept coming back, no matter how many times you set her free?
“How to Live” — Derek

I have so many pets running around in my back yard (and they keep breeding) that I want to start an adoption clinic. To avoid them ending up in abusive homes, I would have to do this very thoughtfully, but taking care of them all (especially my fully grown alligator) takes so much time and effort that I keep putting this off. It's a classic catch 22

Hi there Derek,

Yeah, I can see the point of the metaphor and I agree. However, what if more than one pet (let's say four) keep coming back? ...oh oh!...That means, there must be a whole bunch of love there!☺☺... Thanks for sharing.

Too many of anything takes away valuable time. I’ve gotten so used to spending hours and hours tending to my one pet. I named it cable. Same movies, shows, sometimes it would be new. The songs I could have written, movie editing I could have done. Thanks for making me think more clearly on my wasteful “pet” spending time.

Hi Derek!

Loved the metaphor, thank you for sharing! I also have a lot of pet projects, dreams, plans, goals and more dreams. Sometimes I suffer for not being able to give all of them my full attention. But you're totally right, releasing them and focusing on just one giving it all my energy is fairer to all of them. I still dream some of those dreams sometimes and secretly build on them a little bit but my awaking hours are focused on the two (needed both so they could keep each other's company) I really wanted to have close and "love". ☺

Derek,

Thank you for posting this. Time moves on,we get older, we realize how fleeting time is. Maybe it's time to purge possessions too!

awesome derek! 😊

duh! i just managed to convinced my son to give up his pet tortoises and turtles, on the basis that he had no time to care for them being a young man running his own vintage clothing shop & online business and studying.

the real reason was, it was ME who was taking care of them ... at least an hour every morning, before i even started my own work. i started to nag at him saying pets = responsibility. i took over their care not because i loved them, but simply because i couldn't bear to see them suffer needlessly.

i realised no matter how tired or busy i was, i had to plan and find time to buy fresh vegetables, feed them and clean up after them ... otherwise they would literally die. i never missed a day.

now i've got to eat my own words. take my own advice, after reading Derek's piece. i have my own pets. i admit i have too many. and they have all been neglected at some stage. as Derek says, my attention goes to the pet that needs it the most, and usually because its distress of neglect is too painfully obvious. sadly many pets have died without me realising it.

pets are a "yes". they are a responsibility. they need daily care, that's just the minimum. duh.

ideally, only have the number of pets we can handle. they each deserve love to flourish. don't have pets that just exist ... 🧡😊

Hi Derek, As you are likely aware i have thousands of little pets, they bring laughter to my world, sparkle to my life, and a spring to my step. Years ago I'd done something unspeakable & irreparable. Forgiveness was sought and received and a promise was made. As a result a task was given, my promise was challenged. To this day, the promise holds. I look after all the little pets, and have given decades of my life that they might have a chance to live. No regrets...
I really enjoyed your metaphor and understand it deeply on many levels, it speaks to me...

Thank you for the nudge, Derek. Your metaphorical story conveyed the right message at the right time.

Thanks again for a thought provoking post! I've reflected on it a lot over the last couple of months and just read it again this morning. At the beginning of this new year I'm trying to find more space in my life and I know that it will require the sacrifice of some of the pets I've collected over the years. I am SOOO struggling to let them go. But just this morning I decided that I need to take the advice of Jon Acuff who once said that "It isn't a never, just a 'not now'." I don't necessarily have to abandon these pets forever, I just need to pick the right one to focus on for this time and season. Thanks again!

Oh to have been chosen by a pet. Curious about that one in your story. And I love the metaphor! Hits home. I have 4 rescue cats and probably 40 (feels like 400) pet projects. Quite a handful of them will remain my pets, but I’m reminded to spend some time for refocusing. Thank you for your insights!

This reminded me of what Angela Duckworth says in Grit (I see you read that book, too) : to be truly driven and persistent, you must choose to let go of many "pets" to focus on a single one.

Thanks for writing this!

It's beautiful, thank you.