Since today is National Twilighters Day, I thought I'd share some of the icons that I made for various Twilight contest challenges from 2020-2022. Enjoy! :)

1-5
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1. What is your favorite soup?

2. Have you made your favorite soup yourself?

3. What is your favorite dessert?

4. Have you made your favorite dessert yourself?

5. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream or other frozen treat?

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There were around 100 geese near the sunflower fields and I got a lot of photos of them.

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My family is so overstimulating. They all talk at once, crosstalk, and jostle for attention. And like that's not bad enough, some of the things they say to me or to each other are aggravating. Just in trying to keep track of threads of conversation and in trying to decide what to respond to and what to ignore, my brain becomes overtired. On the other side is my own struggle to be heard. (Going to take a cough drop now!) I have retreated to the quiet of my room to recover and write this entry.

This evening, when I was out on the balcony to hang up laundry, I saw Diya with baby and pram taking a walk downstairs. I hurried to my phone to see whether she'd texted me about joining her. (When we texted previously, I had said I'd be happy to accompany her on her walks.) She hadn't. And I know it's probably not personal, that she probably does want to be friends; perhaps she just didn't feel up for socialising today. But it was disheartening and part of me does feel socially anxious and insecure about it. Interacting with my family on a daily basis is so tiring that I wish ardently for a friend who I can hang out with on the daily. To counter the negative effect (of making me not want to have anything to do with people) that talking to my family for long has on me.

I did a round of yoga after that. It made me feel a lot better. Talking to my family might have exhausted me even more than it has, if it wasn't preceded by yoga.

Asked by blackcatofmisery: Is there a creature, real or imagined, that you feel you identify with somehow?

Among real creatures, I identify with birds so strongly that the name I gave myself (Mynah) is a bird's name. I think it's wild that such cute, fluffy, musical creatures came from dinosaurs. There's an olive-backed sunbird that visits my balcony to sip nectar from one of the flowering potted plants my grandparents keep. I love seeing and hearing it. I also love seeing the squirrel that visits for peanuts.

Among imagined creatures, I fancy the pegasus. Clearly I have a thing for creatures that can fly.

blackcatofmisery: Is there a real or imagined creature's ability/behaviour that you wish you could have?

I want the sweet singing voice of a songbird, and a pegasus's ability to gallop, fly, and otherwise be powerful and free.

Asked by applepips: A little on the nose -- but what does real independence mean for you? And how do you try to live it in your daily life?

Since I have limited control over my circumstances, what independence means for me in daily life is control over my time and how I choose to spend it. I have more of that now than I used to. I like to spend time alone when I need to recharge. I like to do the things that make life feel worth it, and when I used to work fulltime that was harder to do regularly. Reading a good book, meeting friends, watching an episode of a k-drama, writing. Some days I couldn't do a single one. These days I can do all of these except meeting my friends (which involves external logistics and scheduling, so won't happen at my command). However I have time to meet my friends whenever they're free, able and willing. Which feels empowering to me.

I also feel more independent if I can be myself, and live according to my own convictions. But I can't do that as much as I want, or as much as I could in college (it was the first place I felt accepted just as I was). Not having to perform feels like freedom to me, which feels like independence. As things are, though, I'm having to perform every day.

Freedom to dress how I want is very important to me. It's an extension of having bodily autonomy. I have more of that than I used to (I didn't used to be "allowed" to wear shorts, and nowadays I wear shorts). But I'm still a long way from where I want to be, because I want to be able to wear sleeveless/strappy tops and blouses, especially with sarees, but my family is dead against that. I have a hankering for these two:
( Saree pictures )

You know that whole ability and perception curve? Well, I'm currently in one of the downswings, I guess. I just read something I wrote like, three years ago, and compared to the thing I just finished, it was a masterpiece. I've been fighting for every ounce of creativity and for every word, lately, but my actual skill is still not where it used to be. It very likely is that my perception is different than it was back then, and my standards are much higher, but could I get a win, here, please? :/

This is my second time participating in LJ Idol. I always have something going; my progress on my longer writing projects (a cozy fantasy with dragons, and a sapphic romantasy) has been stuttering because of my physical health, but writing is one of the pillars of my mental health and I want to keep doing it. LJ Idol is happening at a time just so opportune, when I want to write short pieces for a while. This way I'll be keeping my long projects on the backburner and coping with my drastically reduced spoons, while still getting to write.

A lot has happened over the course of my writing life. I published my first novel and my editor was awesome. I worked a string of terrible day jobs involving writing, and lost my love for reading and writing for a few years. I slowly gained it back and indie published a novella to feel creatively in control again. I memorised poetry when I couldn't read anything else. I wrote poetry. I read and wrote fanfiction. On some Octobers I did Spooktober on my journal; people left spooky prompts and I wrote for them. After everything, I've determined that I'm not going to stop writing, no matter what. Even if it doesn't feel the same. All the better if it does.

Written for LJ Idol's Week Zero prompt: "Introduction"

Asked by zoomieyo: Imagine you are hosting a party- give me all the details! What is the theme? Is there a dress code? How big or small is it? Where is it hosted? Any special guests or features?

I like a close-knit social situation, so it's a small party. It would take place in the woods, in a place so full of wildflowers that we'd call it a garden party. There's no dress code because I'm a big proponent of wearing what you feel good and comfy in. But if anyone asks for suggestions, it's Mori.

We're totally going to treat the fairies and nature spirits, perceivable or otherwise, like our special guests. And we're going to have a witchy time! Go berry-picking and brew berry punch in a cauldron. Have a picnic and share it with the birds and squirrels.

I'd invite the friends I miss and don't see much anymore because of people moving away for various reasons: higher education, jobs. I'd invite all my online friends via magic and it won't matter that we're all in far flung places in the world from each other, because magic. We don't need to be a coven to do this, we just need whimsy!My moontime this go around was bad enough that I'm scrambling for ways to make it better. I'm going to try a supplement for estrogen detox because chasteberry alone isn't enough (beyond preventing me from bleeding outside of my moontime). Also, my gut is so badly affected during moontime that I need to figure something out for that. I'm hoping the estrogen detox helps with that by reducing prostoglandins, but I'm also going to take S. boulardii before bed during moontime to hopefully alleviate some of the symptoms.

Because of my chronic health stuff and generally low energy, I'm not confident about getting a regular job. Maybe getting my B12 and Vitamin D levels up will help with the fatigue part of things, but I'm overwhelmed by all the rest of it. I'm still applying to jobs whenever I come across something that I'm hopeful about, but I'm being more cautious, more considered. My health has also slowed down my writing to such an extent that realistically, I know I can't do things the way indies are recommended to do (a frequent and predictable launch schedule, regular promotion). I haven't renewed my Bookfunnel or Bookbrush subscriptions (instead of the annual subscriptions, I'll just get a month's worth of each whenever I'm preparing for a launch, because my launches don't look like they'll be frequent). I'm not doing social media outside the small web because I don't like social media outside the small web. I don't have the energy for much outside of writing, trying to better my health, and spending time with friends online and offline. The occasional author newsletter, and that's it. That's not the way to make money as an indie, but I don't have the spoons or the gumption to do the things you need to do as an indie. I want to write, and then hide from the world like a hibernator, hide among friends and my myriad of special acquaintances (Kath & Kim reference!)

I'm struggling with mindset, too. Even while I'm determined to try different things for my health to find things that work, I hesitate to spend money on supplements because I'm not earning any, but I also know that trying to earn right now will strain my health more. I need to be okay with spending money on things that will increase my comfort, I need to internalise an alternative view of work which is more about meaning and less about earning, and I need to believe that the way I live is valid and normal, even if it's inexplicable to some.

1. What arts or crafts do you spend time on these days?

2. What arts or crafts have you stopped doing, and why?

3. What new art or craft are you interested in trying?

4. Are you more of an experimental craftsperson, or do you tend more toward the traditional?

5. Choose your favorite, and explain why: line shape form light color texture

Copy and paste to your own journal, then reply to this post with a link to your answers. If your journal is private or friends-only, you can post your full answers in the comments below.

If you'd like to suggest questions for a future Friday Five, then do so on DreamWidth or LiveJournal. Old sets that were used have been deleted, so we encourage you to suggest some more!

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First up, the bees!
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