I was going to title this post The Calm Before the Storm, but then I realized my schedule in Serbia will be very light (compared to other programs I’ve done), and that my life is actually probably more exciting and busy now than it will be in Novi Sad. I have random thoughts/life updates to share and have been itching to write because I’ve been on social media a lot less, so this blog is becoming a little more important to me! Because of social media, though, it seems I’ve forgotten how to structure a blog post around one topic, so much like flipping through your friends’ Instagram stories, this post will hop from topic to topic.

Shiny New Visa

I was worried about when my Serbian visa would be ready because the consul was vague when I asked for an update: “There is no exact timeline.” However, a month after I applied, it was ready for pickup. The consul was so excited for me and spoke to me only in Serbian; when I’d applied, she’d talked to me in English. We took a selfie, and she’s sent me messages for every holiday.

Extended Instagram Breaks

Starting in November, I began taking Instagram breaks of 2-3 weeks, redownloading the app for only 24-48 hours at a time. This wasn’t really intentional. For many years now, I’ve been taking frequent 2-3 day breaks, but this time, when I started one of those short breaks, it just didn’t end for another couple weeks. I didn’t feel the urge to download the app again, and even when something happened that I wanted to post, I just texted my friends instead. It feels liberating to not be quite as addicted anymore, and the “hardest” part has been missing big announcements from friends (though I find out directly from them later) and music news from my favorite artists (but Google is a thing, and the music scene has been dry anyway). I don’t know how long I’ll keep this up, and I’m sure I’ll want to have the app a lot more while I’m in Serbia so I can follow new friends and reach out to friends/acquaintances who are in Serbia but whose numbers I don’t have. However, I actually like the sensation of my circles being smaller without Instagram. There are people I genuinely care about that, right now, I can only contact on there, but the most important people in my life are obviously all people whose numbers I have. When I don’t have Instagram, I do miss my expanded network, but I feel I’m a more present friend for the people dearest to me. I remember more of the details they tell me, have more time to call/text them, and look at my phone less when I’m hanging out with them.

Finishing the Semester Strong

I’ve never gotten the best grades at school – I don’t think I’ve been a straight A student since sophomore year of high school. I got pretty darn close my first semester of grad school with 4 A’s and 1 A-, did worse spring 2024 and spring 2025, and then earned 3 A’s and 1 B+ this last semester. 🙂 I’m too old to care much about grades, but I do feel that how I did this semester actually was an accurate reflection of the work I put in and the knowledge I accumulated. I also think it’s no coincidence that I loved my classes my first and last semesters, while most of my classes during those two spring terms were duds.

I’m particularly proud that listening to my heart and leaning into my strengths was what helped me succeed this semester. For example, I had planned to write about the political economy of the UAE for a final paper because I’ve actually been there twice, am genuinely interested in the country, and wanted to push myself out of my comfort zone by writing (for once) about something not soft power-related. But during the research stage, I struggled and knew in my heart I couldn’t do the topic justice. I switched somewhat last minute to a comparison of the soft power strategy of the UAE vs. Saudi Arabia, given that I’m a public diplomacy gal, and ended up having SO MUCH fun researching and writing. Keep in mind: I hate academic writing! But the topic was so close to my heart that 20 pages, which I’d initially been worried I wouldn’t be able to fill, ended up needing lots of trimming in order to keep down to. I did really well on that paper, which is the only time I’ve gotten a good grade on one of these “long” term papers. In the past, all of my longer papers have received B+ or A-, a reflection of my weakness in that type of academic writing, but this one got an A. (Also I know there are stereotypes about people who think a B+ or A- is a bad grade, but I’m approaching this from the angle that in grad school, it’s very hard to get a final grade lower than a B. With that much grade inflation, an A is really the only solid indication that you’re producing above average work.)

Anyway, I hopefully never have to think about term papers or grades again! I’m done with grad school forever!

Mostly Depressing Books

Now that I’m done with school, in the span of one week, I read four heavy books: Dictators Without Borders, Pachinko, Nobody’s Girl, and I Who Have Never Known Men. God, what a depressing quartet of books. The first one is about how Central Asian dictatorships use Western financial systems and lawyers to launder money used to then commit human rights abuses – implicating us all and showing that these networks are much more international and complicated than they originally seemed. Pachinko is thick at 479 pages, but I read it in 24 hours because I was so invested. It’s a beautiful, multigenerational story with lovable characters, but it’s not without hardship and darkness, particularly as it’s set during the Japanese colonization of Korea. I Who Have Never Known Men is a meditation on humanity and loneliness and has such an unsatisfying ending, which is the point. I came away from it confused and feeling like an itch I had wasn’t scratched, but I think I understeand the book better after discussing it with my brother, who got it for me for Christmas. Nobody’s Girl is one of the most disturbing books I’ve ever read; it’s the memoir of a prominent Epstein survivor, Virginia “Jenna” Giuffre, who tragically committed suicide this past year. The Epstein stuff was of course horrible, but I was even more upset by the things that happened to her before she even met Epstein – so that’s how you know it’s bad. Then it turned out (after her death) that her husband, who was painted as her savior in the book, had been physically abusing her. This woman really could not catch a break, and I hope she rests in eternal peace.

Serbian OPI

I haven’t done any Serbian study between when my language school in Novi Sad tested me in November and when I took my pre-program OPI earlier this week, but somehow, my speaking was a lot better the second time. I suspect it’s because it’d been Vlogmas season on YouTube, and one Serbian girl I follow posted every day the month of December, so I was in the midst of some serious Serbian content consumption! I’ve always received ACTFL scale OPI scores, but this time it was the ILR scale. I got a 2, which is equivalent to Advanced Low/Mid! I’m aiming for a 2+ (Advanced High) or even 3 (Superior) for my post-program in August.

Chicago, Milwaukee, New Jersey, and NYC!

Since coming home to Illinois for the holidays, I’ve been constantly on the move, visiting friends in the above places. In Chicago, I took a painting class with my best friend, and I wish I had storage on WordPress to show you the results because it was actually really fun, and I’m happy with how mine turned out! I don’t think creative pursuits will ever really be my passion, but it’s nice to do something like this once in a while, especially as a social activity. Milwaukee and New Jersey were more chill, and I stayed in a lot with the friends I was visiting – Milwaukee because it was very cold, New Jersey because my friend has a baby. NYC was also more lowkey than it normally is when I visit! I didn’t pack my schedule like I usually do, and shockingly, I only ate out once the few days I was there. Otherwise, friends cooked for me, and we did things like grab coffee and go on runs instead of eating out. I had my hair dyed a dark reddish brown, bought a big Pokemon squishy plush, and felt even more firmly that I need to move back soon. It will be complicated with my post-Serbia government service requirement, as well as my aspirations of being a diplomat, but if the latter doesn’t pan out, I will happily take a more “boring” job if it means I get to live in NYC again.

Pre-Serbia Anxieties About my Post-Serbia Life

Now that I’m 30 and done with grad school, I feel somewhere in me that Serbia is probably my last real “hurrah” or side quest for the foreseeable future. When I return to the US, I’m going to get a job and probably be working without much break for the rest of my life. I’ve had other moments that felt a bit like this; when I moved to NYC in 2022, I was expecting that even though I’d applied to grad school, I might not go if I found a good job. This time, though, it feels final. People older than me might read this and laugh because you never really do know where life can take you, and 30 isn’t that old. I feel this way, though, because *I’m* ready to be settled and have an income/savings/retirement contributions of my own. Even though I’m ready, I’m still scared because I’ve never known a life where there isn’t some other adventure waiting, where I’m just going to work every day and saving money and being a “real” adult. There was always something next: Fulbright right after college, then TAPIF, then stalling during the pandemic, then a temporary job traveling with American Councils, then grad school, now Serbia. I’m already starting to mourn the end of my youth and ability to just follow my random whims, and while moving back to NYC or getting into the Foreign Service would be adventures in and of themselves, saying goodbye to the life I’ve known for more than a decade sits weirdly with me.

Anyway, I don’t want to end this post on too melancholy of a note, so here’s a list of what I’m excited about for Serbia: getting paid to just improve my Serbian for 7 months, exploring Novi Sad by running around every corner, perhaps attending martial arts classes again and reconnecting to that passion of mine, reading a ton given that I only have class two hours a day, finding my favorite items at grocery stores and cooking delicious meals with them, welcoming the friends and family that will visit, and maybe learning a new language with the extra time I have!

Happy Thanksgiving! I guess it’s an odd time to write a post-CLS update, but my family already “celebrated” Thanksgiving at our favorite Chinese restaurant in Chicago earlier today, so I don’t feel bad hiding away in my room to write now.

I received my pre- and post-CLS OPI scores in Russian back in September! I started at Advanced Low and finished at Advanced High, which was my reach goal!!! 🙂 I’m very proud of myself and feel that my hard work paid off. Of course, just because I received that score doesn’t mean my Russian is perfect. In fact, compared to a lot of people I know who have been immersed in the language for years, I wouldn’t even say I’m that good. However, I can basically talk about anything I want to and consume the type of content I would in English, which are the most important skills for me. Refining my academic Russian and being able to read literature in the original would be cool but are not immediate goals. I also do have to note that the OPI is a lot more rewarding than the ILR scale, which is what the State Department uses. An Advanced High is a 2+ out of 5 on the ILR scale (with 5 being native speaker university professor level language skills), meaning there’s still so much I need to improve on if I want to REALLY say I speak excellent Russian.

I haven’t been taking any language classes this semester, though. I figured I’d give myself a break after spending two months intensively studying Russian in Latvia and before spending seven months intensively studying Serbian in Serbia. Yes, that’s moving ahead! I applied for my visa last week and only have a few pieces of paperwork left for my fellowship before I get my first grant disbursement. I’m planning to fly from DC to Belgrade on January 16, coming back on August 8. I haven’t lived abroad this long since my Fulbright in Uzbekistan, and I’m nervous but excited. Nervous because I’m in a phase of life now where I just want to be close to my friends and family, so I do expect that over half a year in a small city will feel isolating for me. However, I’m excited to really improve my Serbian — within five minutes of my language assessment interview, my tester said I’m a strong B2 and could definitely get to C2 by the end of my time there! I also found out that one of my internet friends lives in Novi Sad, where I’ll be!! 🙂 She’s Serbian American and a CLS Persian alum, and I’m so excited to hang out with her in real life and see the city through her eyes. I’ll also be living with a host dad (? maybe grandpa?), so that will be good for language practice and a sense of support. He actually asked me to get him a Patti Smith book that just came out in the US, so I’m planning to buy myself one of her books too so I can bond with him over her.

For now, though, I’m savoring my last semester of grad school, which will probably be my last semester of school ever. I’ve had some duds of classes in past semesters, but every single one this semester is a hit: Arctic Security taught by an incredibly nice and interesting professor who has great stories from such a remote part of the world; Great Power Competition in South Asia, taught by a former ambassador (to Albania and Kyrgyzstan! We love a Balkans and Central Asia man!) and former Assistant Secretary in the State Department who is as humble and funny as he is experienced; Impact Analysis, an incredible statistical analysis class where the professor is also sooo kind and funny; and Comparative Politics of the Middle East, once again taught by someone who is supportive, hilarious (in a way that only Arab people can be about their own countries), and knowledgeable. I’m grateful to be learning a lot in each of my classes. For example, I’m doing well in Impact Analysis and actually feel I can put Stata on my resume, and I can now keep up with conversations with friends about politics in the Middle East without getting confused about the difference between Sunni and Shia extremism and why Iran and Saudi Arabia hate each other.

Also since I last wrote, I turned 30 years old! I’d been overthinking it leading up to it happening, fearing all the physical changes that would come with it and just the idea of people I love getting older. To make it fun instead of scary, I had three birthday parties: one each in New York City, DC, and Chicago, my three homes. ❤ In between those parties, I also visited my diplomat friend at his new posting in Panama City, which marked my first time in South and Central America. It was such a fun birthday month despite a touch of existential dread, and people from all over the country coming through to see me and shower me with love made turning 30 a celebration. Bonus: everyone older than me had told me you stop caring so much what other people think about you once you cross that age threshold. I thought it sounded too good to be true, but even in my 29th year of life, I was already starting to feel that. And damn is it liberating! I’m happy to say that I’ve always stayed very true to myself, even if it wasn’t for others; however, I still spent agonizing hours worrying what people would think. That doesn’t happen quite as often anymore, and not at the same intensity.

I’ve also capitalized on my student health insurance to finally take care of my health. I have a lot of anxieties around medical stuff and have generally followed the avoidant rule of ignorance is bless. I’m 30 and uncomfortable with my symptoms, though, so that logic will no longer fly. If I don’t take care of myself, no one else will. I’d been with a great therapist for a year, though she recently went on maternity leave. However, I realized that she’s helped me so much that I can now be my own therapist and get myself through difficult situations, whether I’m talking to her every week or not. I also scheduled a sleep study to figure out my fatigue and have done some routine tests to make sure everything’s okay before I head off to Serbia. I tried to schedule an ENT appointment to work on my vertigo, but the next available appointment wasn’t until after I’d already be in Serbia. My mom sees a vestibular neurologist for her vertigo, though, and gave me some exercises to do, so I’ve been keeping up with those.

Finally, I want to reflect in this post on something my favorite professor in grad school said to me recently. When I asked him what we can do given the political situation in the US and general horror in the world, he answered simply that we need to bear witness in whatever form that takes. For him, a writer through and through, bearing witness means penning op-eds and books. For me, it’s been harder to figure out. I don’t enjoy writing about politics online because people tend to seek out information they agree with; only when you’re with someone in person, seeing their expressions and hearing their voice and feeling their humanity, is there really a chance to have a genuine conversation about difficult topics. However, I realized that even without talking explicitly about politics, me sharing the diversity and goodness of people around the world is a way of bearing witness. I’m not forcing people to learn languages or travel or talk to strangers, but I hope by sharing stories about my experiences doing so, whether on Instagram or through my blog posts or face-to-face over a cup of coffee, I open others’ minds to those different than them too.

My return flight from Serbia will be to DC, but I’m not sure if that’s where I’ll stay. I would love to move back to NYC, but that’s probably not where the jobs are. It’s kind of exciting not knowing where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing, though. For all I talk about craving stability and community, a part of me still loves the adventure. 😉

Our last week of CLS flew by in a whirlwind. We wrapped up final projects, did practice OPI exams, had a lovely day at a lake house with a banya, presented our final projects, and said our goodbyes. I cried a lot, especially with my host family, but was also so proud of everyone’s progress. During the presentations, I got to hear all of my cohort members speak Russian for an extended period of time and was just blown away by their abilities. I don’t really know how some of them sounded before CLS, but I think everyone can at least say they’re conversationally fluent in Russian now.

Natalija, one of my language partners, made me a handkerchief with my initials so I could always be reminded of her. ❤ Viktorija, my host mom, gave both Malvika and me Latvia tote bags with local souvenirs like magnets, a candle, and a little dish. I was greatly touched by all these gifts, and I’ve already set them up around my apartment so I can have a piece of Daugavpils with me in every room. It is kind of weird being back home and not in my CLS routines anymore – no more 6:40am breakfast with my host family or 8am classes!

The journey home was both very fun and very chaotic. We had to leave for the airport at 2:45am despite being at a hotel that was ten minutes away, so some people just went out drinking all night instead of going to bed. I actually did get into bed by 9pm, but vertigo kept me up for a while, so I only got two hours of sleep.

I had joked with everyone that for some reason, the Victoria’s Secret at Riga International Airport is open at 4am, so we had to go for the bit. We didn’t buy anything, but to kill time since we were so early for our 6am flight, we smelled the perfumes there and looked at all the gifts in the duty free shop. I slept on the two hour flight from Riga to Frankfurt.

Then at Frankfurt, the Lufthansa gate agents announced a decent deal: an upgrade to Business for only 609 euros (about $713)! Considering that: 1) I didn’t have to pay for my original ticket, 2) it equated to less than $100/hour, and 3) I didn’t sleep much the night before, I decided to take it. It was a good flight to upgrade myself on too because the plane was a B747-8, which is rare and has an upper deck for their business class. There weren’t private pods like on United Polaris, but I got along very well with my seatmate, had delicious food, and slept very comfortably for around four hours! I could’ve gotten more sleep if the flight had been longer. Speaking of which, we were slightly delayed coming into Chicago because we were put into a holding pattern due to the Air & Water Show taking place there. I’d never been in a holding pattern before, so even though it delayed us, I was excited.

Arriving internationally into Chicago was fun for me because I could see what my AFS students go through so I know what to tell them to expect. You go through passport control, pick up your checked luggage, drop it off to be rechecked, and leave the terminal to make your domestic connection on the AirTrain.

My mom had used her miles to bid on an upgrade to First on my flight from Chicago to DC. It originally looked like I would get it, but by the day of, I was third on the list and there were no seats left. I was annoyed, thinking I should’ve just paid the $140 in cash to upgrade myself – once again, it would’ve worked out to be less than $100/hour, and I didn’t have to pay for the original ticket anyway.

I boarded and was already feeling nervous because of the bad weather. The captain came on and warned that things would be turbulent, and both he and the flight attendants sounded stressed because they were trying to make it out in the window we had before the storms started back up. In the midst of this, a flight attendant ended up grabbing me and upgrading me to First after all because so many people had missed this flight that there were now empty seats in First! I was delirious from inconsistent sleep, panic about impending turbulence, and excitement to be unexpectedly upgraded.

However, we ended up just sitting at the gate for a long time. At one point we started to back out, only to pull back in because of a broken lavatory. The plane was half-empty because of all the missed connections, but the captain wasn’t comfortable operating with only one lavatory. While they took some time to fix it, I chatted with the man sitting next to me. I initially was excited to have him next to me because he told me some things about himself that made me think he was the perfect person to help me as I was feeling panicky (I was reallyyyy nervous for the incoming turbulence due to my phobia of vomit), but he ended up acting in ways that were inconsistent with his words. For example, he advised me to do breathing exercises, but when I tried to excuse myself to do them, he kept talking to me. He also was in a career having to do with mental health, but I felt he was more looking down on my panic than actually trying to help. I think that made it harder for me to self-soothe; I normally would have just blasted my favorite music and taken some deep breaths, but now I felt like I needed to entertain this kind of arrogant, condescending man.

An hour later, they finally fixed the lavatory, but then someone started having a medical emergency, and the captain called for a doctor on board. The man next to me groaned, which made something in me snap. How could anyone have so little compassion for another person’s suffering? Even if it does personally inconvenience you? Between all of that and the panic I had failed to tamp down on, I decided to get off the plane (goodbye, lay-flat first class seat!) and rebook myself to the next day. I called my parents, who thankfully live near O’Hare, to pick me up. I was feeling frazzled, kicking myself for not being “brave” enough to just sit through some turbulence and a medical emergency. I got upgraded to a nice seat – what more could I have needed?

But I think the stars aligned. As I got off the plane, I got an email from United about rebooking myself for free due to the delays. So I didn’t even need to pay for it, which I’d been prepared to do. Also, I’d been considering skipping the last leg of my flight anyway in order to see my parents for a day, but decided against it because I’d have to pay for a new flight. But then I got to do it for free! I had a lovely Sunday with my parents doing all the things we normally do when I visit, and I got out to DC the next day (in regular economy, a middle seat at that haha). 🙂 In fact, if I had flown as originally scheduled, all of my friends with cars would have been out of town and I would’ve spent $60+ on an Uber home. On Sunday, though, my checked suitcase was waiting for me at the lost luggage office, and Frank picked me up and took me home. ❤

I’m very grateful for eight wonderful weeks on CLS, and Learn Russian in the EU, our host organization, absolutely killed it. This was their first time hosting CLS (and the first time CLS has been in Latvia!), and I have glowing things to say about all aspects of the program. I really hope to see CLS continue to be funded in future years.

Now I have one more semester of grad school. I was supposed to work my normal job part-time this semester, but due to funding cuts from everything going on, I currently don’t have work. 😦 I’m applying to a couple internships and also reached out to a connection at another org to see if they have part-time work, but if I can’t find anything, I’ll just take this as a sign to enjoy my last semester and focus on classes. In January I leave for my seven months in Serbia, and who knows where I’ll be and what I’ll be doing after that!

I’m back to having normal, drama-free, healthy days, so I don’t have anything particular to write about this week. Therefore, I’m doing the type of post I had fun with on CLS Korean: a day in the life! Before I get into it, though, I did want to say it’s our last weekend here. 😦 So I finally went out yesterday (Saturday night) with a bunch of friends from the program, and all I can say is: why didn’t I do this sooner? Why did I think it was going to be such an energy drain? Even though I don’t drink, hanging out with my friends here for six hours straight, from the restaurant to the bar to another bar to a night club, was insanely fun. I love deep conversations and dancing, and I got both of those last night!

Monday, August 4

6:08am. My alarm goes off and I give myself 20 minutes to scroll Reddit and Instagram as Malvika showers.

6:40am. Every school day, we have breakfast at this time. Usually it’s kasha (whether rice or grain) or scrambled eggs, with some bread and pastries if we want. Viktor and Viktorija, our host parents, come in and out of the kitchen to chat with us if they’re not already at work, but mornings tend to be somewhat quiet as we’re still waking up.

7:20am. We catch the #10 bus downtown, chatting with our friend Fiona. She’s gotten into running lately and is also excited to move to LA for her PhD.

8am. Classes begin at this time every day. We started a chapter about the world/universe around us, and there was an exercise where we had to fill in the blanks with vocabulary words. Katya said, “Planet Earth has a moon called Moon” (the correct answer was спутник, or satellite), and I said, “The polar axis always points north” (the correct answer was звезда, or star). Andris noted afterward, “This is not a group of scientists…”

9:45am. After a 10-minute break, we gave our weekly news presentations. I didn’t select an article this week but rather talked about Katya’s and my visit to the American Space with US diplomats and what this means for American foreign policy in Latvia/the Baltics. It’s a topic close to my heart, and my classmate John asked me a lot of tough questions about how I define soft power vs. propaganda and how I plan to carry out my work as a diplomat keeping these things in mind. They were hard to answer but very important, not to mention pushed my Russian skills! I mean, it’s difficult enough to express your thoughts about these topics in your native language, let alone one you’re studying. In the end, I acknowledged that any US policy is meant to benefit the US first, and we should be under no mistaken impression that anything is purely benevolent. However, having studied with and worked for State Department programs myself, I appreciate that ultimately, participants form their own opinions and choose their own paths. Look at Margarita Simonyan: she did a FLEX year in the US, living with an American host family and attending an American high school, and is still a vocal Kremlin mouthpiece. Besides, if anything, my time abroad has made me more aware of other perspectives and empathetic to different causes. In addition, developing intercultural skills and language proficiency is always a positive.

11:30am. Russian classes ended at 11:20 this day (depending on the day, they end at 10:30 or 11:20), and Grace and I headed to Gosha for lunch. That’s the “Georgian” restaurant that my friend, the owner of Crumble Cake cafe in Riga, recommended to me. It’s not actually Georgian, and I go there for their delicious pizza. Grace and I talked deeper about the questions John asked me, and we both acknowledged that we don’t have good answers but are trying to carry ourselves and interact with others in ways that make the world a better place. It sounds so trite, and maybe this is weird of me to say, but I think I’m genuinely succeeding. So many people over the years have told me that I’ve positively impacted them or even changed their lives, and I can say the exact same about all kinds of people I’ve encountered in my life. It doesn’t mean I’m a perfect angel and do nothing wrong, because I sure as hell have too many flaws and low moments to count. But I think my authenticity, vulnerability, and joy help me positively impact others, and that’s what I would bring to a career in diplomacy if I were to serve in that way.

12:30pm. Every day after lunch, I grab a coffee from my favorite cafe here. Sometimes I stay to meet a language partner there.

1pm. Twice a week, we have a history/culture lecture. This day was about Lithuanian history, particularly the different empires it’s been under.

1:55pm. Twice a week, I meet with Svetlana, and twice a week, I meet with Natalija. This day was Svetlana, whom I genuinely love. I’ve felt close to her since day 1, but when I met her on the Friday of my crazy week last week and told her everything, she made me feel seen and understood in such a warm and caring way that I think our friendship reached a new level. This day, we chatted about some of her own gossip, as well as friendships between guys and girls, and accepting our bodies/appearance how they are. We also noted how nice it is that I’m at a level of Russian where we can have these conversations with no pauses. I told her that I feel I’ve improved at speaking Russian a lot since I first arrived, and she answered that I’ve been speaking like this since she first met me! On one hand, I’m happy my level has always been decent?? On the other hand, I wonder if I haven’t improved lol. (Just kidding, I know I have.)

3pm. I arrived home and took my almost daily nap.

5:30pm. My alarm went off and I actually got myself out for a run! According to Strava, I ran 2.12 miles in 20 minutes and 11 seconds at a 9:30/mile pace. 🙂

6:30pm. I sat on the couch in my bedroom, writing up my Week 6 blog post. Like I said in that one, I had been putting it off, but once I began, the words flowed out. (I usually write my posts on Sundays.)

7pm. Dinner time! We had veggie soup, baked cauliflower, and chicken nuggets. Malvika doesn’t eat most meat or any fish, and I’m extremely picky about everything, so a lot of our meals revolve around potatoes, chicken nuggets, pasta, and veggies.

7:30pm. I didn’t have any homework this day, so I just binged YouTube all evening.

12am. I fell asleep late because of my nap. I woke up in the middle of the night to the news that two of my best friends got engaged to each other! 🙂 Such a great start to the week.

I put off writing this blog post because the highs were so high and the lows so low that I wasn’t even sure how to talk about it all. Nothing serious, by the way – I would say some of the lows erred more on the side of gossip than actual concerns, but they weighed on me nonetheless.

I actually can’t talk about the first low on here because it’s so personal that it would be weird to share online (yes, even I have boundaries), but suffice to say that I was pretty upset over it and ended up taking Tuesday off. It was my first time needing to miss anything on this CLS program, and I had some weird feelings about that in and of itself. On one hand, due to the physical and mental health issues I’ve had these past couple years, I second-guessed doing CLS at all because I was scared I’d need to miss too many days of class. And yet, it wasn’t until this sixth week that I missed anything at all, and that was due to interpersonal conflicts rather than actual physical/mental health problems, so I guess I’m stronger than I think I am! I can show up (literally) when I need to. That was something that boosted my confidence. On the other hand, I was annoyed at myself for breaking my “streak,” especially over something I knew would be inconsequential in the long run. In fact, I resolved the conflict the night before and didn’t even stay up all night crying like I thought I would, so I had this sense of: “Did I even need to take this day off?”

Then it seemed that I had bounced back. On Wednesday, my friend Katya and I went to the American Space in Daugavpils’ public library to meet some American diplomats and help guide an English conversation club with locals. I felt SO in my element; even though I’m not a diplomat, I was leading the room because I was able to “translate” (metaphorically) between diplomat-speak (for the FSOs), layman-speak (for Katya), and what would be understandable to someone who’s not a native English speaker (the local participants). I asked lots of questions for everyone’s benefit, clarified what might be confusing to someone who’s not an FSO, and had a blast in my small group for the conversation club!

At the bus stop on the way home, just as I was riding this high and feeling so confident in my skills and my future, I had the worst vertigo attack I’d had to date. I literally felt like there was an earthquake and thought I was falling even though I was actually sitting upright. It only lasted a few seconds, and I was still able to get on the bus immediately after, but it rattled my confidence. Whenever I have these health issues, as minor as they may seem to anyone else who deals with more serious health concerns, I feel so utterly helpless and scared of the world. Moments like that make me want to just move back to NYC, get a job that’s not too demanding, and live a simple, comfy life where I don’t challenge myself and don’t need to face my fears.

But then at dinner, I was talking to my host mom about my afternoon with the diplomats and my vertigo attack, and she replied as if it were the most simple thing in the world, “Of course you’ll be a diplomat someday. You are so good at holding conversations with people. With the diplomats today, with my in-laws last week.” I started tearing up because I was so touched, especially when I was feeling so vulnerable and powerless over my own body. Then that evening, Katya sent me a long text that actually had both of us bawling in bed as we texted AND the next morning as we revisited in class haha. She basically said that she appreciated how even though I was leading the conversation and knew so much about the Foreign Service, I still took the time to include her, ask questions on her behalf, and make her feel like a part of the event. She also said she admired how confident I was from the moment I walked into the room. I know that probably for the rest of my life, I will be in a battle with myself about my skills/personality versus my fears/anxieties, particularly around health. I’m going to swing back and forth between confidence in pursuing my dreams, and wanting to just hide away and never challenge myself. However, my host mom’s comment and Katya’s text are the kinds of things that keep me going.

So everything was great, right? Well, the next day, I had another one of those earthquake vertigo attacks in the middle of class. Katya’s mom has vertigo, so she jumped up and immediately led me out of the room. I somehow had the presence of mind to explain to everyone in Russian what was happening as Katya urged me, “Just get up and go!” (I think she thought I was going to throw up, looking back. :P) We sat in the break room for a long time because my off-balance feeling took a while to subside; if I did something as simple as nod in agreement, laugh too hard, or reach forward to grab my coffee, I started feeling dizzy again. However, just knowing Katya was there to take care of me and empathize helped a lot. Surprisingly, standing up to take a walk was what helped me the most; over time, I’ve realized that sitting/standing still or laying down without an incline are the worst for my vertigo. Eventually, I felt well enough to go home, but I had Katya take a Bolt with me because I was scared to be in a vehicle alone. Honestly, bless her. I cannot be more grateful. Unfortunately, this meant I missed another day of class lol. This time I had a “legit” excuse, though, so I don’t feel annoyed at myself at all!

As I rested at home, I was texting an old friend about something unrelated, but I mentioned my vertigo attack and she said she has vertigo too! She’s in an interesting but high-stress job at a big tech company, so I was relieved to see yet another example of someone who suffers this awful condition (and mine is quite mild compared to a lot of people I know) but can still lead successful, fulfilling lives.

The next day in class, I was still feeling a little off balance, though I didn’t have an actual attack. I was going to Riga later that day and considered cancelling, but Dramamine and a brisk walk outside did wonders. So I spent the weekend in Riga with Mariam and Oleg, and we even had a beach afternoon in Jurmala. It’s Mariam’s birthday today, and in our 6.5 years of friendship, this was the first time we could spend her birthday together. Oleg is usually a part of my “therapy” sessions with Mariam, but yesterday, she and I went to a coffee shop just the two of us to take cute pictures, drink yummy coffee, and debrief on my week. It was just what I needed to process the interpersonal drama that happened, as well as my complicated feelings about my vertigo and what that means for my future.

So in the end, I would actually say I had a great week. Regarding the interpersonal conflict that had me so upset, it actually brought me a lot closer to my CLS classmates because they helped me through it, and it was just something ridiculous to laugh about. And of course with the vertigo, Katya and the old friend I was texting really showed up for me and made me feel cared about and less alone in my condition. My earlier blog posts about CLS mentioned how friendship wasn’t a priority for me this summer, but I would say during Week 6, a lot of my CLS classmates went from situational friends to true friends that I’m excited to stay in touch with the rest of my life. ❤ Sappy but true.

This was a great week for multiple reasons. I couldn’t even fit everything in the title!

Russian Progress

We had our midterm, which was a shorter version of a mock OPI. My teacher told me I speak better in class than I did on my midterm, which surprised me because both during and after it, I felt very good about my speaking abilities. He might have been referencing a couple “obvious” mistakes I made and the fact that I didn’t use any complicated grammar, but in terms of fluidity, I was very proud of myself. I talked about complex topics like Elon Musk’s influence on American politics and the drawbacks of AI, all while barely needing to pause to think. My teacher might not have been impressed with me, but how I felt I spoke on the midterm was one of the highlights of my week!

Latvian Lessons

I had three meetings with Natalija this week and made a bit of progress on my Latvian. Because I’m just working on it in 45-minute increments with her and not doing any study outside of class, I’m not advancing much, but at least I am starting to recognize some words on the streets and can put some sentences together! She also took me to a bookstore, where for less than 20 euros, I bought the A1 Latvian textbook, the accompanying workbook, and the sequel to Crazy Rich Asians (China Rich Girlfriend) in Russian. To be honest, though, I’ve had no motivation to study Latvian on my own, as I’m already struggling to keep up with my workout schedule and journaling, which are more important to me. Maybe I’ll do some self-study in the fall, when I won’t be taking any language classes.

Guests in Town

My host mom’s sister, her husband, and their son came to visit from London, so we had dinner with them a couple times. It was great Russian practice, and I was happy that I talked a lot and for a long time with them. 🙂 It was also interesting hearing them speak because they sometimes slipped into English, so my host parents had to gently remind them to speak Russian. I had been hoping to meet some of our host parents’ extended family while we’re here, as that’s always a special experience, and I’m glad it happened!

NSLI-Y Meetup

Two of my classmates on CLS, like me, have also done both NSLI-Y and a prior CLS grant, Russian and Persian for them and Korean for me. On Friday, we had a chill Q&A with the NSLI-Y students in Daugavpils, sharing our experienes and answering their questions about the OPI, college, government grants, career tracks, host families, language learning, etc. They were all so lovely to talk to; I can’t stress enough how much happiness working with students gives me, as they fill me with hope for the future. Their RD shared our phone numbers, and we also exchanged Instagrams, so I’ve been messaging with a couple of them and giving them advice. It’s nice to share the knowledge. I always wondered why older people who are further along in their careers would “waste” time mentoring less experienced people, which made me shy to reach out to anyone. I was worried I’d come off as annoying. But now that I’m in that position, I realize it’s actually SUCH a joy to mentor others, and it’s something I seek out.

Fun Excursion

Yesterday, we went to Aglona Basilica (an enormous Catholic church situated on an even bigger square that a pope once visited), a WW2 artifacts collection, Devil’s Lake, and a clay workshop. It was pouring during our outing to the lake, so we only stayed for 10 minutes and didn’t get a chance to walk, but even then it was beautiful and peaceful. I was kind of dreading the clay workshop because I’m not an artsy person, but I ended up having fun making a kind of ugly duck, but a duck nonetheless! Honestly, CLS has been killing it with every excursion. I really feel like I’m getting to knwo Latvia and its culture, and I’m trying lots of new things, like cooking and crafts.

Lake Stropu, Finally!

I had missed out on the lake two or three times, but I finally went today! I got their early with a new friend I made. I met him at the coffee shop I go to every day, as he’d overheard me talking to my language partner. He’s from Daugavpils but until recently lived in NYC, so we had a lot in common and chatted for a long time. We went to Stropu today and walked around for a while, also stopping for a couple coffee breaks. When he left, I joined a couple CLS friends for lunch and to just relax in the sand. The lake was much bigger than I’d expected; for some reason I thought it’d be the size of a pond. Instead, I probably only walked like 1/10 of its entire circumference! Definitely a good spot to return to.

Running Goals Met

And finally, I did get in my three runs this week. 🙂 I’m still a little out of shape in terms of distance and speed; I ran three miles the other day, but I had to go slower, and today I ran at a faster pace, but I could only do two miles. Still, I feel really good that I made the time!

This coming week is going to be busy. I normally go home right after school to rest/run/be by myself, but this week I’m: meeting the NYC friend for coffee tomorrow, going dragon boating with the CLS cohort at Lake Stropu on Tuesday, visiting the American Center with an FSO on Wednesday, having a coffee chat with a NSLI-Y student on Thursday, and going to Riga on Friday. I don’t think I’ll get much running in…

I had mentioned in an earlier blog post that since the class pace is a little slow for me, I was going to challenge myself to use more sophisticated words/grammar constructions and consult my notes less on the weekly news presentations. I was really proud of mine this past week; I talked about the initial report of the Air India crash pointing towards intentional action (aka a murder-suicide) by one of the pilots and spoke about some technical pieces of it pretty fluidly! Commercial aviation is a casual interest area of mine, and by that mean I just read a ton about it on Reddit. I can’t say I actually have any specialized knowledge, but I think the fact that I cared a lot about the topic helped me speak better about it! I still had to check my notes for a few complicated words, but unlike my first news presentation a few weeks ago, I didn’t read off any of the full sentences.

Speaking of presentations, we normally have one to two per week, but this week we had three! One of them was about our favorite Russian songs, which was very fun to prepare and deliver. I threw in a Grimes song as a joke because it’s in what I thought was nonsensical Russian: “I made kasha/I fed the kids/Magpie.” It turns out she was actually onto something; my teacher said it was a reference to an old Russian poem and folk song! He assured me that it was still nonsense, but it was “knowledgeable” nonsense. A rare W for Grimes. The other presentation was for our history/culture class, and I was assigned the topic of the former Latvian currency, the lat. The professor asked afterward if I liked the topic, I guess hopefully because I did a good job, and I answered honestly, “Not really.” 😛

It was our last week of Latvian class, which I’m happy about because it means we’ll now have shorter afternoons. I do feel like I was just starting to “get it,” though, so I asked one of my language partners, Natalija, if we could use our sessions to study Latvian. She’s from Ukraine but has obtained B2 in Latvian, so she’s in a good position to help me. 🙂 For our first study sesh, she looked over what we had learned in my class and gave me some simple sentences to translate from Russian to Latvian. Stuff like, “I live in Washington DC. I am not a doctor but a student. My mom now lives in the US but used to live in China.” I want to keep working on verb conjugations and noun declensions so I can make my own sentences.

Because it’s the halfway point of the program, I also got two new language partners this week. They were closer to my age and very sweet, and I clicked well with one of them particular, but I asked to switch back to Svetlana and Natalija. Svetlana and I have great conversations, and Natalija is helping me to continue with Latvian so I want to keep meeting with them. At the beginning, I liked the idea of meeting four different locals and building relationships with all of them, but now I think I’m good with just two!

Yesterday, we went on an excursion to Slutishki, an outdoor ethnographic museum showing how Old Believers lived, and to an outdoor cooking class at a nature preserve. It was a very chill excursion compared to others we’ve had, and the guides were all sweet, hilarious older women. We didn’t actually do much cooking during the class; we just stirred some butter, seasoned green borscht, and baked bread. However, the lunch was delicious, and the surroundings idyllic. The nature preserve was in a floodplain, and when it floods, people kayak through the surrounding forests! Unfortunately, I ran through a field in my dress and got stung by some nettle, but the swelling disappeared in a few hours.

I had grand ambitions for how much I wanted to get done today in terms of reading (I finished Normal People in Russian on Friday and am almost done with Dune!), writing (journaling and updating this blog), running (I was hoping to do at least three miles), and “work” (applications and homework). However, immediately after breakfast, my friend called for three hours, and then right before lunch, another friend called. When I finally got around to my run, my first one since last Sunday, I only had it in me to do a mile. Other than this blog and my homework, I think everything else will need to wait until other days this week. I’m not upset with myself, though, because the long calls with friends was much-needed for both them and for me. Sometimes I forget to make time for connections with my favorite people, and each time I do, I’m reminded of how much more important it is than arbitrary productivity goals I’ve set for myself.

Obviously my 3x a week running goal was not met this week, but I’m also fine with that. CLS is such a busy, tiring program, even as I’ve abstained from most social activities… and it’s also just rained a lot. I feel justified in putting workout goals on the back burner and focusing on the things that do have a deadline. A part of me keeps hoping every week, though, that this will be the week I get back on track. 🙂

This wasn’t my favorite school week of the program. It was still fine and enjoyable, but I didn’t sleep very well most of it now that Latvia has gotten warmer. Not only do European houses generally not have AC (I know, such a first world problem), but mosquitos are now everywhere, so it takes me a while to fall asleep between the heat and the mosquitos biting me and buzzing in my ear. Am I back on CLS Korean?!

I also felt my Russian plateau, and I wasn’t speaking as well as I had in previous weeks. It must have been the bad sleep because today, after getting lots of rest this weekend, I was speaking very well again! In addition, I didn’t run at all during the week. Each day, I would go home and take a nap because I was so tired.

However, I mentioned that it was still an enjoyable week, and here are some of the reasons why!

• The barista at the cafe I go to every day remembered my order! I asked her what book she was reading because I saw her with it during her break, and she’s reading Dune in Russian! I’m currently reading and loving it in English, so we exchanged some excited chatter about how much we enjoy it. She said I could borrow her Russian copy when I’m done with it in English. 🙂
• We had an additional activity this week: a lecture by a Russian dissident about oligarchs. He was a lawyer for some of them and personally knew them, so it was interesting hearing his insights. I asked him about Putin’s People by Catherine Belton, which I read a few years ago, and he said that her reporting was good but that she relied too heavily on one source who lies a lot. 😛 He also said it isn’t the most accurate because many oligarchs have sued to get some content in the book changed. I now want to reread it because I have more context for who the people are. Before, I was very confused by the long cast of characters and Russian names.
• I made a group for our final presentation/paper and may or may not have decided for us that we’d write about public diplomacy programs in Latvia. It’s something I’m of course very passionate about, and I have a lot of connections. We’ve already gotten responses from interviewees about NSLI-Y, AFS, and Boren, and we’re waiting on Fulbright, FLEX, Peace Corps, and American Spaces. It’s a hard time right now for these programs, and diplomacy in general, so even though this is just a project for Russian class, I’m determined to do a good job and advocate for public diplomacy programming.
• I’ve gotten a lot more into Normal People in Russian. It’s honestly very hard for me to understand at points despite having read it in English a million times, but I still cry at all the same places I’ve cried in the past. ❤ My language partner had heard about it and asked me why I like the book so much. I explained that I’ve also had a romantic relationship I felt very passionate about that failed partially because of bad communication and being scared to be honest about what I wanted. Normal People is the kind of book/show that makes you throw popcorn at the TV, screaming at Marianne and Connell to just be honest with each other. Having been in their position, I get how hard it is! Fortunately, I am no longer like that and can talk openly with Frank.

I then ended my week by going to Riga with most of the other CLS students. They all stayed in hostels and were busy shopping, sightseeing, and going out all weekend. I visited my best friend Mariam and her husband Oleg at their place, relaxing and annoying their cat and just catching up. I only did a bit of homework, journaled a lot, read Dune, went on a few short runs, and got coffee with some NSLI-Y alumni friends, but other than that, I truly just rotted at home. I guess it seems like a waste of a weekend in the city, but this was my seventh time in Riga, and although there’s more I want to see/revisit, I wasn’t feeling it this weekend. I’ll probably go back the first weekend of August, so I may try to see more then!

Sadly, I think I’m about at the limit of free WordPress storage, so I can’t add anymore photos. You’ll just have to follow me on Instagram or use your imaginations!

This was our first full week of class, and it definitely was a bit draining as we adjusted to our 8am start time and long days of study and activity. Several of us cried this week, though mine was unrelated to the program. 😛

Coffee and Language Partners

I found a new coffee shop closer to campus and have been going there a lot for an afternoon pick-me-up. I started bringing Svetlana (my first language partner) there, which has made our 45 minutes pass even faster. I also met a couple times this week with a new language partner, Natalija. She’s an accountant/economist from Ukraine, and while Svetlana and I just chat like friends, Natalija has themed lesson plans. We talked about the meaning of happiness and time management this week, which are fun topics for me and force me to speak more abstractly and therefore at a more advanced level. It’s been good to meet with both Natalija and Svetlana because each of their formats train different types of my speech.

Fried Potatoes, Baked Potatoes, All Kinds of Potatoes!

I have have to thank my host family (and I do often) for how much they accommodate my dietary preferences. They make a lot of babka (a casserole type dish of potatoes, onions, and dill), chicken and vegan nuggets, mushrooms with vegetarian sauce, soup, mashed potatoes, and fried potatoes.

We also eat well for lunch on school days. A lot of Latvian restaurants have “business lunch,” which provides a limited list of choices in soup and main dish along with kompot, all for only 6.5 euros! I’ve had Latvian interpretations of goulash, spaghetti, and Korean chicken, all not much like their originals but still good. It’s a great deal for how much delicious food you get, and while I’ve never been a kompot lover, it’s refreshing to drink with a hearty meal. I also ocasionally go to Hesburger, the Nordic equivalent of Burger King or McDonald’s. Daugavpils’ fun fact is that there used to be a McDonald’s in the downtown area, but it went out of business, and Hesburger replaced it.

Odd Presentations and Latvian Progress

As for what we’re actually here to do, learn Russian (and a bit of Latvian!), that is still going well. We presented about the news and about movies in class this week, and I talked about Dune even though I’ve only watched the first third of the first movie, and I’m only halfway through the book. I had kind of struggled to talk about my news item without my notes, but when discussing the political and environmental messages in Dune, I spoke much more fluently because I didn’t bring my notes up with me. Sometimes I think I’ll need notes to remember certain vocabulary words, but clearly winging it actually helps me more! Also, talking about Dune gave me an excuse to bring up Grimes’ first album because it’s a “Dune concept album.” 😛 Another classmate talked about Shrek, and between that and something funny our teacher said, I literally cried laughing. Honestly, only Andris would let me get away with digressing onto a Grimes monologue and my classmate present about Shrek.

I haven’t learned much in my Latvian class, but I did have a bit of an aha moment this week. My teacher said to me (in Latvian), “I’m a teacher. What are you?” I got mixed up and responded, “I’m a teacher.” Before she corrected me to say that I’m a student, I glanced at my verb chart and amended, “I WAS a teacher in Uzbekistan.” We aren’t at a point in the class where we can make spontaneous speech, so I was really happy that in that moment, I was able to!

Bowling and Latin Dancing!

As I’ve mentioned before, I haven’t done a great job of socializing outside of class/lunch because of how busy the schedule has kept us and how much I prioritize other things. However, for Fourth of July, our RD took most of us bowling, and it was such a fun bonding experience. I also did quite well in the first round, scoring 109 and winning that game. 🙂 My friend Isabella had told me to “lock in,” and I guess I took her seriously! Then this morning, I went with several people to a Latin dancing class! It was a bunch of older Latvian women, then us, this group of loud Americans. The teacher is from Cuba and lives in Daugavpils now with his Latvian wife. It was so much fun and a good workout even though I was bad at it, and I couldn’t stop smiling the entire time. I also got to practice both Spanish and Russian! Other than enjoying myself and trying new things, I’m glad I went to both of those activities just to spend more time with my cohort off campus. They had gone to a lake earlier this week, which I ended up bailing on and feeling bad about. I don’t feel sad about it anymore!

Saturday Excursion

We had a full-day excursion all around Daugavpils yesterday: the fortress, the Mark Rothko Museum (which also featured other Latvian artists, as well as some pieces from Tianjin, China – my mom’s hometown!), and several war memorials. The latter half of the excursion was quite heavy, as we visited graveyards for young soldiers and a memorial to the Jews who died during World War II. We discussed how Daugavpils went from a majority Jewish city to only having about 100 left after the war. It was a heavy day, and our guide, normally quite boisterous, seemed on the verge of tears at times.

Random

The NSLI-Y students arrived in Daugavpils this week, and I met some of them! It’s really nice to talk to high schoolers whose shoes I was in over a decade ago, and one of my CLS classmates is also a NSLI-Y alum! In addition, my friend is the Resident Director for the NSLI-Y program in Riga. I didn’t realize there would be two locations of NSLI-Y in Latvia this year – what a great opportunity for those students! I really hope I can talk to them about my experiences at some point, though unfortunately their weekly RD meeting is at a time when I have class.

I’ve also been reading a lot. I’m still working on Dune, and I started the Russian version of Normal People. The last time I tried to read a book in Russian, I was extremely slow. This time, I breezed through 50 pages in less than two hours. Granted, I’ve read Normal People in English so many times that I know exactly what happens when, which is how I was able to read it in Russian so quickly. There are sooooo many words and phrases I’m unfamiliar with, but I can guess what some of them mean because I remember exactly word-for-word what the English version said.

—

I’ve realized that if I want to get the most out of my Russian class, I’ll need to challenge myself a bit since it is being taught slower and easier than what my level might be. For tomorrow’s news presentation, I’m forbidding myself from bringing up my notes. I’ll make myself memorize all the new vocabulary I need. This next week will also be long and busy, but I’ll be in Riga visiting Mariam and Oleg during the weekend!

On Wednesday, Russian classes began, along with a full program of other weekday activities: Latvian language classes, regional history/culture lectures, and language partner meetings. I’ve loved the rigorous schedule even as it’s been tiring; I only managed to run twice this week instead of my goal of three times, but there’s always next week! (Update: after posting this, I ended up going for a run, so I hit my goal after all!)

Russian Classes

Our classes are split into “Practical Russian,” “Interactive Grammar,” and “Media,” but they honestly all blend together. CLS split the cohort into four levels (my CLS Korean program had five), and I was placed into A, the highest level. However, even within A, the levels vary. I have a classmate who did Peace Corps in Ukraine and is married to a Georgian woman, and he’s the best at Russian in our cohort. He speaks comfortably, fluidly, and confidently, uses a wide range of both everyday and political/historical words, and has a good accent. One of my other friends in the class is a heritage speaker, and while she worries about not knowing what the cases are called and why they’re used, she understands them intuitively, has a strong vocabulary, and of course speaks the most like a native out of all of us. I would say my level comes after the two of them, but I need to expand my vocabulary and get more comfortable using complicated grammar verbally. (I can make complex constructions with advanced grammar in writing only.) Listening and speaking come surprisingly naturally to me, and I credit that to having lived in a Russian-speaking country (Uzbekistan) and watching a ton of Russian Youtube. 🙂

The A level class is being taught more like an upper intermediate class than advanced, which is fine by me. We’re getting into nitty gritty grammar and idioms, which is exactly what I need. For example, we learned how to read decimals and fractions, which I had never known how to do. In addition, our teacher, Andris, is HILARIOUS. He creates such a positive and fun class environment and points out our mistakes by making dry comments so we laugh instead of feeling embarrassed. The other day he asked someone if they remembered themselves at age five. My classmate misunderstood and thought he asked “five years ago” and started talking about growing his beard out. Andris shot back, “You had a beard when you were five years old?” I also do think the class will get harder, and starting tomorrow, we’ll be preparing to present a news item to the class every week. My advanced level classes at Georgetown taught me a lot of political, international relations, law, and journalism vocabulary, so I can put them to use on these assignments!

After only a week, I’ve already noticed that I speak Russian much faster, more confidently, and with a better accent and more advanced vocabulary and (sort of) grammar! This has made me realize that I’ve probably had the potential to speak like this since 2023/2024, when I took the highest level Russian classes at Georgetown. I was just more shy about my Russian back then and didn’t push myself to talk much. (Comparatively to how much I talk in languages I’m extremely confident in, like Bosnian and French. I do think I’ve always been a lot more extroverted in Russian than some language learners feel comfortable being, but by my own standards, I was relatively shy.) Now that I have to speak Russian all day, every day with my professors, classmates, and host family, I’ve been forced to shed any anxiety I have about how I sound, and it’s paid off. I sent voice notes to my Russian-speaking friends, showing them my new fluidity and accent, and they were shocked. One of them said she didn’t even recognize my voice when her husband played her my message, thinking I was just some random Russian person. Granted, I don’t actually sound like a native speaker – I think she was just flattering me!

Latvian Classes

We’ll only get eight hours of Latvian over the course of the eight-week program, as opposed to 152 hours of Russian, but I’m excited that we have this opportunity at all. To be honest, I haven’t learned much yet because we’ve mostly just been reviewing the alphabet and singing songs. However, yesterday I was looking at a sign in Latvian and realized I knew a couple of the words: “vesture” (history) and “dzive” (life)! We learned those words in class through examples for the alphabet, and I happened to remember those in particular, so that made me feel more motivated in my Latvian studies. Since the class moves at a slower pace to accommodate a wide range of learning capacities, though, I will need to self study if I want to have basic conversations.

Regional Culture/History Lectures

A few days a week, we attend these lectures (in Russian) to learn more about Latvia and the former Soviet Union. So far we’ve mainly covered the Baltics’ position in Europe (are they a part of Eastern or Northern Europe? The eternal question), as well as the history of conquests over Latvia. I’m not well-versed in politics, history, or geography in this region, so these classes give me a good foundation to understand Latvia. My goals on CLS are not only language-related but also about developing some basic expertise on Latvia as a modern country. These lectures will help me get there, and I also need to schedule in time to read Latvian news.

Language Partner Meetings

On CLS Korean, each of us had one language partner, all students in their 20s, that we met with twice a week throughout the entire program. On this CLS program, we will have a total of four different language partners of all different ages and professions, and we meet about four times a week. My current language partner is in her 50s, studying Spanish at Daugavpils University, and helping out on her sister’s farm outside Daugavpils. She’s from Moscow, and she’s great. I love soaking up her wisdom about life, including pursuing your passions, ignoring others’ opinions, and being resilient. I love that I can have these conversations with her (I also have a lot of these types of chats with my host mom) because they’re things I talk about in depth with my best friends.

—

Yesterday, we had an excursion to Church Hill, an area of Daugavpils with churches of four different Christian faiths, and the Russian House, a cultural center.

Martin Luther Cathedral

This is the oldest church on the Hill, and it was built for German workers who helped construct the first railway in Daugavpils! We climbed up the tower and had nice views of the city, including the prison, an automobile factory that provided and continues to provide many jobs to city residents, and an oddly-shaped ammunition factory.

Immaculate Conception Catholic Church

We didn’t go inside the church, but our guide told us that in Soviet times, the KGB would attend services in plain clothes and make note of who was there. Therefore, only people with “nothing to lose” – children and babushki – attended.

Old Believers’ Church of Resurrection

We also didn’t go inside this one, but apparently Old Believers make up 20% of the population of Daugavpils, compared to about 3% in Latvia generally and 0.3% in Russia!

Orthodox Cathedral of Saints Boris and Gleb

This beauty was originally built for soldiers, so there’s a marching field placed exactly opposite it. I couldn’t take pictures inside, but our guide explained that Church Slavonic originated from Greek Orthodox priests trying to translate Greek into Old Slavonic. I’m not sure if I understand that totally correctly, but it is kind of funny to think that a language as vaulted as Church Slavonic is basically Google Translated Old Slavonic.

Russian House

The guide showed us throughout the cultural center, pointing out stone paintings, performance spaces, historical reconstructions, scenes from folklore, гжель (Russian china), and хохлома (traditional Russian bowls made of wood and painted with motifs of leaves, flowers, and berries). Afterward, we were treated to a pelmeni and varenyky cooking class, and then we ate the fruits of our labor, along with blini!

—

Next week will be our first full week of class, and we’ll also have a full-day excursion on Saturday, so I’m trying to rest up for that! I still haven’t been socializing much outside of class other than going to lunch with my classmates, but I’ve realized I just prioritize (in this order) rest, sleep, and exercise. It’s also nice to have Malvika as a roommate because I talk to her a lot. 🙂