Reason #44: 26

## Reason #44: 26

It was my 26th birthday over the weekend. Every year I joke about now I feel really old now, and don't get me wrong, I did that again, but this year was different.

If you had asked me 7 months ago, I would have never expected to get to my birthday (see [reason 41](/reason/41)). Now that I'm here, it feels... weird. I've had a cold for the last few days, and I've been in Cyprus for a wedding so I haven't really had the chance to celebrate it.

It has all felt really introspective, and I've felt the need to ask myself whether or not I'll make it to 27.

> I've been so good, I've been working my ass off. I've been so good, still, I'm lonely and stressed out - [Karma by AJR](https://song.link/gb/i/1455241067)

The truth is: I don't know. And I don't mean that in a depressed way, I mean that in a "for all I know I could get hit by a bus tomorrow" kind of way. Yet, weirdly, if I did get hit by a bus tomorrow I'd be at peace with it.

I've never really been afraid of death as a concept, I mean, it wouldn't change anything if I was.

I guess I just have a lot on my mind, and my exhausted social battery combined with jetlag from ~~3~~ 2 days in Cyprus (more on that tomorrow) have me excited for a weekend where I do absolutely nothing when it's only Tuesday.

### Yesterday was a: 🤷🏻‍♂️/10

>This post is part of a series called "The Reason". I haven't committed to living forever, but I find a reason to live for one more day every day. [Read the rest of the series here.](/reason/)