Reason #37: You.

## Reason #37: You.

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*"The truth is my biggest problem's you; I want to please you*
*But I want to stay true to myself*
*I want to give you the night out that you deserve*
*But I want to say what I think and not care what you think about it*
*A part of me loves you, part of me hates you*
*Part of me needs you; part of me fears you"*
\- Bo Burnham [(song link)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYy0o-J0x20)

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Something about that really resonates with me, I think anyone who has ever created content for public consumption, whether it be YouTube videos, a podcast, or even a blog, knows that feeling.

Much like the line: *"You crave the applause yet hate the attention"* - Gang of Youths [(song link)](https://song.link/gb/i/1272834375), there's a feeling that I have a need for some form of validation. I want to be told that the posts I write are interesting, that the videos I make are entertaining, and the films I edit are creative.

At the same time, I want to be able to do it in private. I don't want to feel like creating is opening myself up for personal criticism. I want to be able to create on my own terms, without worrying about feeding an algorithm.

I've been fortunate that (apart from one specific video) most of the feedback I receive is positive. I like to think the kind of person my content appeals to isn't the kind who blindly spews hatred just because they're able to hide behind a screen.

It's a fine balance, and one that I often spent far too much time thinking about. I don't think I'll ever get it right. Hell, I don't think anyone ever will, but that's okay too.

### Today was a 7/10

>This post is part of a series called "The Reason". I haven't committed to living forever, but I find a reason to live for one more day every day. [Read the rest of the series here.](/reason/)