Posted by: bkivey | 7 January 2026

On Frozen Pond

I have been paying more attention to hockey the last several years, not least because the NHL Seattle Kraken surprised the League a bit a couple of years ago with their remarkable performance for an expansion team. I jumped on the bandwagon, but I am not a stranger to the sport. Seattle did not have an NHL team when I lived there, so my last NHL town of residence was St Petersburg, Fla. The Tampa Bay Lightning started play in the Suncoast Dome/Thunderdome/Tropicana Field located in town, and the company for which I worked would give out free tickets monthly to Lightning or Thunder (AFL) games; as the season dictated.

I watched a fair number of hockey games from the 300-level, and contrary to what Fox Sports thought at the time, Americans can see the puck on the ice just fine. The Thunderdome was, at the time, the largest of the NHL venues, seating nearly 30,000. It was true, that in a place called ‘God’s Waiting Room’; most fans in the early years were rooting for the opposition. The (somewhat) NFL Buccaneers had the same problem. I have been to Bucs home games that felt like they were playing away. The team would complain about lack of fan loyalty; the fan response was “Play better!”.

During the 95 -96 season, my last year of residence, the Lighting did ‘play better’, and made the playoffs, edging out the defending Champion New Jersey Devils by a single win. 8th-seed, is still a playoff seed.They played Philadelphia in the first round, and split the first two games, after which the series moved to St Petersburg for Games 3 and 4. Where I happened to live, and happened to be one of the 28,000 plus in attendance for Game 3, ending in a 5 – 4 Lightning overtime win. The game didn’t win the series, nor was it the last game played in the venue prior to moving to the Ice Palace in Tampa for the next season. That dubious distinction would go to Game 6 in the series 11 days later, which the Bolts would lose, as well as the round.

But, it was the first playoff win on home ice in team history. As soon as the lamp lit, an explosion of sound threatened to blow the roof off the dome. Literally deafening, and I was enthusiastically contributing. As a first exposure to NHL playoff hockey, it was a bit spoiling. It’s my second-favorite sports memory. The first; when I watched NC State beat Houston for the 1982 NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship in a bar half-a-mile from the State campus, and crowded way beyond fire capacity.

Boxing on Ice

You try it: https://www.hockeyfights.com/fights/n272684

Word Watch

Expantiate

The best the Internet can do is ‘expatiate’, which while uncommon, is not novel. So, of the million-plus words in the English vocabulary, this is not among them. Well, ’embiggen’ made it. So, word, or not? Although the word is fairly self-explanatory, I’ll include the full context:

“Weaker attack player on the left side, more attacks go over the right side and as attacker it is easier to score from the left side”.

Can you kindly expantiate on the above, thanks.

ahmed mohammed saba Coach, Nigeria on a hockey coaching forum.

I will say that ‘Nigerian ice hockey’ ranks with ‘Jamaican bobsledding’ as an unexpected word association. I will also say that my vote is Not A Word. There are plenty of other words that do the job in all its nuances. Sorry, Coach Saba.

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Posted by: bkivey | 3 January 2026

Collective Thought(?)

Recent developments had me curious about what The Collective had to say, and I journeyed to those Reddest of sites, the digital homes of the Communist Party USA, (cee-pusa, to its friends), and the Socialist Party USA (or, spusa). What might the Communists and Socialists have to say about one of their own forcibly removed from power? Free and fair elections don’t really figure in those Governments: everyone is happy collectively helping everyone else in the Worker’s Paradise; what does it matter who’s in charge? Forcible removal is generally how power changes in those societies. In this case, one might wonder why it took so long.

If you are at all familiar with Progressive thought, you will be able to write either release, sight unseen. An imperialistic Amerika, led by a fascist, is motivated only by Venezuela’s oil. Guess who didn’t occupy Kuwait and Saudi Arabia after the Gulf War? The whole ‘invasion and occupation for resources’ was pretty well done after WW I. In a connected World, unforced aggression has serious economic and political consequences. Ask Vlad. But, if your political view and founding works are grounded in 19th Century European politics, your understanding of events will be limited accordingly.

Both the Socialists and Communists acknowledge the setback of the removal of a Socialist Hero, and they both exhort their followers to ‘continue the Struggle’. What the hell? You all have been Struggling since Day One. When do you think you might make some progress, Progressives? Does it not impress you that 175 years after Marxist theory was formulated, you are still ‘struggling’? That no major power is Communist? Indeed, the largest purveyor of Communism folded over 30 years ago, and the second largest has, if not embraced, at least admitted Capitalism? Successful organisms adapt; intelligent ones learn. Not much evidence of either, here.

Nicolás Maduro isn’t the only politician worthy of comment by the Red Press, recently inaugurated New York City Socialist-Democrat Mayor Zohran Mamdani struggled his way into arguably the top mayor job in the country. And by struggled, his plurality was 50.78%, or a little over 17000 votes of the 2.2M cast. Not exactly a mandate. A look at the voter demographics will illustrate why the Democrats call for lowering the voting age. Mayor Mamdani ran on a platform of Free Stuff. If you were educated by the New York City public school system, you might be unaware of that particular track record. And if you are young and ignorant, and your hormones tell you to stick it to The Man, you will vote for Free Stuff, with nary a thought to your future. Progressive power depends on just this ignorance, immaturity, and lack of self-awareness.

The Communists don’t have much to say about the Mamdani victory other than an announcement. In fact, while there is plenty of content on the site, I couldn’t find any long-form pieces on current events. Most of the writing budget appears to go to Marxist indoctrination under the ‘Study’ tab. It is notable that the anti-capitalists take PayPal and credit cards for membership dues.

The Socialists, by comparison, are a wordy bunch. They have quite a lot to say about the NYC mayoral victory. Fair, as they are one of their own. The first two paragraphs give some context, but the writer doesn’t even get out of the first paragraph without a warning: “But we must remain vigilant.” (the struggle continues). Those in power not down with the Struggle are called out:

” . . . those few Democrats not in on the spoils of fascism have sat too spineless and gutless to defend anyone from any of the openly violent capitalist terrorism unleashed this past year.”

” . . . openly violent capitalist terrorism . . .” Oh wow, four ‘trigger’ words in a row! A phrase undefined, but sure sounds scary. The Party seems a bit surprised at success:

“But on the 4th, people cast their votes for whomever they saw as the best defense against antidemocratic capitalist terror. And for now, it worked!”

There are warnings:

“We warn workers that capitalism follows the mentality of cancer, of endless accumulation and expansion.”

Just like everything that lives. Even Socialists. The Biological Imperative: Grow or Die, is immutable. Socialist Party USA acknowledges, almost assuredly inadvertently, the reason for American success:

“The Socialist Party USA maintains that only through independent working class political organizing can workers achieve and maintain economic prosperity and political freedom.”

In April of last year, I began documenting a struggle that resulted in exactly that.

Just a Note

Collectivist are always on about ‘owning the means of production’, as if that is the Great Equalizer that will usher in the Socialist Golden Age. The ‘means of production’ aren’t factories and industry; it’s someone picking up a hammer, and building stuff for other people for pay. ‘Production’ isn’t some thing obtainable only to ‘the rich’; it’s innate in every person. On that basis alone, Collective philosophy is shown to be harmful to the ‘working class’. The individual is required to contribute their creative energy to the collective without compensation. I have yet to see a demonstration illustrating how any normal person is better off putting their life decisions in the hands of others.

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Posted in Commentary, Economics, Government, History, Political | Tags: , , , , , , ,

Posted by: bkivey | 1 January 2026

Battle of Quebec

Following on the opening hostilities in April, the Colonials moved to disrupt British supply lines by taking control of Lake Champlain, and thereby preventing Crown matérial coming south from Canada, while confining British resupply of New York and New England to the sea, simplifying interdiction. The increased reliance on sea transport would have the British ships more laden than might otherwise be the case, increasing the profitability of each encounter. As has been noted, the early Colonial Navy was focused on commerce raiding over other operations; no point in assault if you don’t have supplies.

The expeditions were led by Colonel Benedict Arnold and Ethan Allen. Allen led the Green Mountain Boys, who had been feuding with New York over what is now Vermont. The Boys elected Allen leader, and headed to Ticonderoga. One fight’s as good as another, I guess. The British fort was quickly overwhelmed, after which the Green Mountain Boys pillaged, despite Arnold’s orders not to do so. You hire mercenaries, it’s what you get. After some military activity along the Lake, and an ill-advised assault on St. Johns at the northern end, the Colonials established themselves at Fort Tico with captured supplies, including several boats and a schooner. HMS Betsey was re-christened Enterprise, becoming the first vessel so named in the Continental/American fleet.

Both commanders were surprised by orders from the Continental Congress requiring them to abandon the Fort, and inventory supplies for later return to the British. Arnold appealed to Congress and the Massachusetts Committee of Safety, while Allen did the same with the New York Congress. The pressure resulted in the Congress reversing the order on 31 May 1776, and sending reinforcements. While settling the immediate problem, there was dissension within the leadership of Lake Champlain. Col Arnold, who by accounts, was an egotistical hot-head, had declared himself “Commander-in-Chief of Crown Point” at the southern end of the Lake, establishing effective control of the waterway. A Col Hinman was coming with the reinforcements, and Arnold was expected to surrender command to him. This did not sit well with Benedict, and he threatened to surrender two of his ships to the British. He was relieved of command, and any of his men that would, were enlisted in Hinman’s service. The war was still rather more about personalities, and less about a structured military. Col Arnold resigned his commission.

Between the capture of Lake Champlain, and the arrival of reinforcements to the area, the Continental’s attempted to capture Canada. This action would not only neutralize the threat of invasion from The Great White North, it would give control of the entire network of the northeastern continental waterways, including the Great Lakes. A successful venture would require subjugating the only walled city in North America. Against trained, equipped, defenders, in Winter, in Canada. Sure.

The rebel march to the City came from two directions: Maj Gen Richard Montgomery approaching up Lake Champlain and the St Lawrence River, while Col Benedict Arnold journeyed north along the Kennebec and Chaudiere rivers through present-day Maine. In the latter part of the 18th Century, this land was still very much wilderness. Arnold’s men had a tough time, losing boats, supplies, and most of their food. These were men experienced in wilderness combat, travel, and living: the terrain was that challenging. It’s notable that the rebels had to attack after weeks of arduous traveling, and intermittent combat. The defenders spent those same weeks in a relatively warm, dry building, with ample food and rest. If you wanted to choose the most difficult campaign possible, especially for a loose group of local governments, to mount against the reigning superpower, you’d have to look far to find one more challenging.

Col Arnold’s force of 600 arrived at Quebec on 13 November, and after a council with his officers yielded little enthusiasm for an assault, Arnold demand the City’s surrender, was rejected, and marched his men 20 miles south to link up with Montgomery. Those forces arrived on 2 December, with what one source describes as “food, shoes, and cannon.” The first two likely appreciated much more than the last. Maj Gen Montgomery correctly concluded that with Winter weather well in, and his men’s enlistments expiring at years-end, he was not able to mount a siege. He also correctly surmised that the defenders would not sally from behind the City’s nine-foot walls. While the general was weighing options, he learned that a deserter had tipped defending commander Maj Gen Guy Carleton. Many people would have withdrawn, and not unreasonably. But, Montgomery was a proto-American, and as Churchill (may have) noted, ‘Americans can be counted on to do the right thing, after they’ve tried everything else.’ The ‘everything else’ here, was attacking Quebec.

The attack was originally planned for 28 December, but a clear night and a full moon scotched that plan. What is described as ‘a violent storm’ came up on the night of 30 December, and Montgomery moved his forces into position after midnight; launching the attack about 0400 on 31 December. The plan was to feint at the southern walls and the St Louis Gate, while mortars fired into the town. Arnold, with 600 men, was to assault the North side of the City, while Montgomery with 900 men, did the same at the Southern wall. The ‘violent storm’ was a full-on blizzard, hampering force movement.

The British were unimpressed by the feinting attacks, and flares used by the rebels also alerted the defenders to the attack. With bells pealing, alerted defenders, and an ill-trained and disciplined assault force operating under adverse conditions, the Continental attack hardly got started before suffering casualties. Montgomery was killed, and Arnold wounded. Command of Arnold’s men devolved to Col Daniel Morgan, who took his men into the lower city, and engaged in the brutality of urban assault. The snow began to foul weapons, and the British had re-occupied a barricade, trapping the invaders, and forcing the Colonel with his 400 men to surrender.

Montgomery’s forces had retreated in disorder, while Arnold held with his forces outside the City until 6 May 1776, after which he withdrew. Such was the fate of the first, but not last, American invasion of Canada.

Just A Note

The article relates that enlistments ran out at the end of the year, and the battle occurred on the last day of the year. It is easy to imagine a Continental volunteer: last day of service, assaulting a walled city in a blizzard with a windchill of ‘Fuck This!’, snow fouling your weapon, officers that can’t find their butt with both hands, probably haven’t been paid lately, and your hands and feet are numb. Your best hope is success, but if you don’t succeed and somehow live, you’re faced with weeks of walking through freezing wilderness to get home. Life was different, then.

Related Reading

The Shot Heard ‘Round the World

Breed’s Hill

Battle of Great Bridge

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Posted in History, Military | Tags: ,

Posted by: bkivey | 27 December 2025

Roadhouse – A Review

Over Christmas, I was at a home where Roadhouse (1989, Swayze, Herrington, United Artists) was selected as the movie. What, no Die Hard? That particular movie is about as overdone as any other classic Christmas film, so maybe nice to see something else. Released a couple of years after Dirty Dancing, and two years prior to being named ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ by People magazine, Roadhouse came at the height of Patrick Swayze’s popularity. If it was late 80’s, it was Patrick Swayze. The film has become something of a cult franchise, with a stage adaptation, a sequel (2006), and a remake (2024). I have never seen the movie, because I wasn’t a fan club member, and the movie was massively panned on release. I still haven’t seen the entire movie, as I came in about a third of the way through. Did see the important bits, though.

The movie came in at #44 for the year in box office gross, between Weekend At Bernie’s, and the Peter Pan re-release. Released on 19 May, the film was only out for seven weeks, likely because after Week 1, revenue started falling by mid-double digits. That’s quite the cultural impact for a movie that was out only 50 days.

The IMDB page describes the movie thus:

A legendary bouncer comes to restore order at a notorious bar but runs afoul of a ruthless crime boss who controls the town.

A formula as old as writing, itself. But, quite often can be a story well-told. This is not that story. And speaking of writing, it seems like the shooting script was maybe fifteen double-spaced pages. The legendary bouncer is a man of few, and very mediocre, words, and so is everyone else in Jasper, Missouri. Aaron Sorkin’s grocery list is likely longer and better written. The writing really is sub-par. The best line in the movie comes when the legendary bouncer brings the Big Boss’s kept woman back to him at the bar “If you have a pet, keep it on a leash.” That is the script highlight. And, how does one become a ‘legendary’ bouncer? Can you name a bouncer of any description, right now? Me neither. One qualification must be Category 2 hairspray, because tough, but sensitive, action-hero Mr. Swayze never has a hair out of place. Or anyone else, really. Like a telenovela, everyone looks good, all the time. Sam Elliot’s character is scruffy, to the point where he might be mistaken for the local street person.

Jasper, MO, is a real town, that really does have a small population (910), more than double the 1890 census. It does not, however, look anything like the southern California desert, where this appears to have been filmed. In the movie, the town is smaller still, as everyone lives around the same pond, and all the businesses are clustered together, not far from the residential area. There is an impressively large car dealership for the town. The car dealership seems to be one of many town businesses that do not carry insurance. After mayhem ensues, questions about insurance go unanswered “You got insurance, ain’t ya?” “[crickets]”.

The bar of record is the Double Deuce, while Sam Elliot’s character has a more appropriate appellation. The bar very likely cannot get insurance, because there appear to be several fights scheduled nightly. Knives seem to be an entrance requirement, as does the willingness to brawl. Law enforcement, isn’t. If I lived in Jasper, I’d have a glass shop and a disaster-cleanup outfit: both insured. And I’d stay the hell away from that bar. When the patrons (apparently no one gets 86’d) aren’t fighting, they are ogling the nearly-naked women on the stage. The film runs nearly two hours, but if it weren’t for sex and violence, there wouldn’t be a movie there.

And the violence isn’t that well done. As the reason d’etre for the movie, you’d think some budget would be spent here. The choreography is unimaginative, and the fighting is clumsy. There are scores of 40’s Westerns with better bar fights. It looks like the director said “Welp, good enough. Next scene.” Note to Hollywood fight choreographers: watch any Coen Bros 80’s Hong Kong Kung-Fu film. You will improve your craft.

If you’ve seen the movie, you know how it goes. I came in when Big Boss was trying to buy Patrick Swayze. Unsuccessful, but he didn’t offer hairspray, either. The movie is one big trope, so you know what happens next. I do not think there is a box unchecked. Some movies so afflicted can be decent; such as North Shore (1987 Adler Phelps Universal). That movie is also one continuous trope, but is elevated because it’s evident that the people involved cared about the project. And a guesting Laird Hamilton is judging the hell out of that surfing competition. Roadhouse looks like some people threw a couple of sets together out in the desert and made the easiest possible movie to cash in on Swazye-mania. The whole thing just feels lazy.

The film isn’t helped by the cinematography. It feels like a two-hour TV movie. Lots of medium and close shots, overlighted scenes, and an overall look like an 80’s TV show. The editing also seems informed by television, with jarring jump cuts. The director doesn’t really make use of the expansive possibilities offered by the big screen. The sound is OK, but includes the egregious squealing car tires on gravel. No. No, no, no. Of note, there is not a single computer visible, anywhere. And, you had to know the phone number.

While Roadhouse wasn’t a box-office failure; it returned four times its budget, this is not a good movie. It’s not even really bad enough to be good; it’s just bad. This film is good for wallpaper, and not much else.

Top Ten Movies for 1989 by box office gross (USD)

The last column is whether I have seen the movie.

1Batman$251,188,9242,201$251,188,924Jun 23Warner Bros.Yes. My favorite of the franchise.
2Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade$197,171,8062,327$197,171,806May 24Paramount PicturesNo
3Lethal Weapon 2$147,253,9861,830$147,253,986Jul 7Warner Bros.No
4Rain Man$139,602,9561,590$172,825,435Dec 16Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM)Yes. Liked it.
5Honey, I Shrunk the Kids$130,724,1721,498$130,724,172Jun 23Walt Disney Studios Motion PicturesNo
6Look Who’s Talking$113,455,8011,651$140,088,813Oct 13TriStar PicturesNo
7Ghostbusters II$112,494,7382,410$112,494,738Jun 16Columbia PicturesNo
8Dead Poets Society$95,860,1161,109$95,860,116Jun 2Walt Disney Studios Motion PicturesNo
9Parenthood$95,527,8431,399$100,047,830Aug 2Universal PicturesNo
10Back to the Future Part II$93,592,1952,107$118,811,197Nov 22Universal PicturesNo

Wow. I am an uncultured heathen.

Roadhouse (1948)

Curiously, the OG Roadhouse (1948 Lupino Negulesco 20th Century Fox) is nowhere mentioned in searches. I only found it through an image search, where the movie poster turned up. I am definitely watching this movie. The Wikipedia article sounds much more interesting than the 1989 effort. Typical of film noir, there is a lot going on in under 1 1/2 hours. And if the script is typical, there’s a lot going on there, too. You really have to pay attention to these movies, or you’ll miss something.

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Posted by: bkivey | 25 December 2025

In Hoc Anno Domini

Written in 1949 by Vernon Royster and published in The Wall Street Journal annually since.

First published on Fixed Points the first December of the blog in 2010.

When Saul of Tarsus set out on his journey to Damascus the whole of the known world lay in bondage. There was one state, and it was Rome. There was one master for it all, and he was Tiberius Caesar.

Everywhere there was civil order, for the arm of the Roman law was long. Everywhere there was stability, in government and in society, for the centurions saw that it was so. But everywhere there was something else, too. There was oppression – for those who were not the friends of Tiberius Caesar. There was the tax gatherer to take the grain from the fields and the flax from the spindle to feed the le­gions or to fill the hungry treasury from which divine Caesar gave largess to the people. There was the impresser to find recruits for the circuses. There were executioners to quiet those whom the emperor proscribed. What was a man for but to serve Caesar?

There was persecution of men who dared think differently, who heard strange voices or read strange manuscripts. There was enslavement of men whose tribes came not from Rome, disdain for those who did not have the familiar visage. And most of all, there was everywhere a contempt for human life. What, to the strong, was one man more or less in a crowded world?

Then, of a sudden, there was a light in the world, and a man from Galilee saying, Render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s and unto God the things that are God’s.

And the voice from Galilee, which would defy Caesar, offered a new Kingdom in which each man could walk upright and bow to none but his God. Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. And he sent this gospel of the Kingdom of Man into the uttermost ends of the earth.

So the light came into the world and the men who lived in darkness were afraid, and they tried to lower a cur­tain so that man would still believe sal­vation lay with the leaders.

But it came to pass for a while in divers places that the truth did set man free, although the men of dark­ness were offended and they tried to put out the light. The voice said, Haste ye. Walk while you have the light, lest darkness come upon you, for he that walketh in darkness knoweth not whither he goeth.

Along the road to Damascus the light shone brightly. But afterward Paul of Tarsus, too, was sore afraid. He feared that other Caesars, other prophets, might one day persuade men that man was nothing save a servant unto them, that men might yield up their birthright from God for pottage and walk no more in freedom.

Then might it come to pass that darkness would settle again over the lands and there would be a burning of books and men would think only of what they should eat and what they should wear, and would give heed only to new Caesars and to false prophets. Then might it come to pass that men would not look upward to see even a winter’s star in the East, and once more, there would be no light at all in the darkness.

And so Paul, the apostle of the Son of Man, spoke to his brethren, the Galatians, the words he would have us remember afterward in each of the years of his Lord:

Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ has made us free and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.

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Posted in Christmas, History, Religion | Tags: , ,

Posted by: bkivey | 24 December 2025

The Tallest Yule Tree in All The Land(s)

Communities across the globe put up Christmas trees as part of the Holiday celebrations. I wondered: who has the tallest tree? Is there some sort of informal competition for the tallest/widest/heaviest tree? I had thought there might be an annually updated list somewhere, but if so; well hidden. One must look around a bit. This years search was complicated by sites that listed ‘Tallest Trees’, while leaving out some contenders. Some lists omitted the northern California trees entirely.

Here in Portland, Ore, a tree donated by Stinson Lumber Company is erected every season in Pioneer Monument Square downtown.

Image
Credit: Bridgetown Bites

This year’s edition is 75 feet tall, but due to shipping constraints, and the fact that Douglas firs are not branch-endowed, other trees gave their lower limbs to fill out the hero tree. A community can hire Christmas Tree builders to fabricate a mutant tree made of bits from other trees, and this apparently still qualifies as on official tree. There are various artificial objects decorated as Christmas trees, but it’s all sizzle and no steak. Christmas trees don’t necessarily have to be fir trees, although ‘O Tannenbaum’ is an ode to one. People festoon palm trees in Florida, and it can look good. There’s a seasonal beer commercial highlighting that. As the commercial first aired while I lived in Florida, I am half-way convinced the palm-tree-lighting industry came about because of it, similar to Mexico City’s now-annual Día de los Muertos descended directly from the Bond (“James Bond”) movie Spectre.

I am only interested in naturally grown, humanely harvested trees. Fluffing up the branches is OK, and for a public display, necessary, but the majority of the tree must be a single organism. Of the more well-known trees in the US, the Rockefeller Center tree is 75 ft tall this year, while the officially-named US Capitol Christmas Tree reaches 53 ft. Last year’s edition towered to 80 feet. Was this a Trump snub to the Deep State? There are trees easily twice that height behind the house.

The contenders for 2025 are:

Ft. Bragg, CA

Image
Credit: Ft. Bragg Advocate

212′ coastal Redwood

I hesitated on this one, because while it is the tallest Christmas tree, it is not publically accessible. That is to say, the public can access it, but only the public that can pay $70 for the privilige. Accessibility will be a criteria for the 2026 list. At any rate, this is the World’s Tallest Christmas Tree for 2025.

Ferndale, CA

Image
Credit: Instagram

162′ Sitka Spruce

Located in northern California, Ferndale made its money in dairy, and has held an annual tree lighting since 1934 using the same tree. The tree is about as high as the species normally grows, although there have been some trees topping 300 feet. So, maybe room to grow, and take the undisputed crown.

Cragside Tree, Cragside, Northumberland, UK

Image
Credit: National Trust

44.7m Giant Redwood

If you are wondering what a tree species more commonly associated with northern California and southern Oregon is doing in the UK, the climates are very similar. The tree was planted in the 1860’s by what Google AI describes as a ‘pioneering family’. Not sure how much pioneering there was to do in 1860’s England, but perhaps the reference is to family activity in the American PNW.

The same sites that omit the American trees, usually label this as the ‘World’s Tallest’. The Cragside site calls it the ‘World’s Largest Bedded Christmas Tree’, which seems a peculiarly British distinction, but not unexpected from a land of gardeners. The tree is compared to “The Angel of the North”, which I had thought to be a tree, but is a statue not far from this tree. The Northumberland visitor site is more conservative, confining it’s description to ‘UK’s Tallest Living Christmas Tree”. That should satisfy Legal.

The UK is metric, but I have noticed that when directions are given, distances are usually in miles. It’s amusing, and one of the more present cultural artifacts in modern use.

Citadel Outlets (nee Grove) Tree City of Commerce, CA

Image
Credit on photo

115′ White Fir

Citadel Outlet Mall strives yearly to have the tallest cut tree in the country, and apparently this year, the World. This is also the tallest readily-accessible tree. The tree is well-presented, and the vertical tree serves to visually shrink the horizontal sprawl of the mall. It’s a nice installation.

The Grove Mall, Los Angeles, CA

Image
Credit: Vanessa Wyatt/YouTube

100′ White Fir

These two LA-area malls seem to be in an informal competition for tallest tree. This mall is reputed to be a celebrity hot-spot. You know where to go.

Let’s Talk About That Decoration

I am going to say, that slapping some lights on a tree and calling it a Christmas tree, is not wrong, but is lazy. Draping vertical strings of lights on a tree is the least energy-intensive effort possible. Great, if all you want is something to show, but one of the joys of Christmas is decorating the tree. Ornaments are what connect people to the tree, and by extension, the Holiday. The Portland and Citadel trees are bedazzled with ornaments. People have things to look at. They can make a connection.

While four of the five are American, they all have a Star. The British tree, does not, further drawing attention to it’s sad effort at decoration.

If You Were Wondering . . .

The tallest publicly-displayed cut tree was a 212 foot tree-among-trees Douglas fir installed in a shopping mall in Seattle, WA in 1950. That is as tall as Doug firs grow.

In the two years immediately prior to the record-setting installation, the good citizens of Bellingham, WA, decided to go for the Tallest Tree record. The linked story is worth a look. If you live in a land of big trees and are Christian, you will naturally wonder how those trees might look in Christmas guise. This month’s header acknowledges that.

Making It Official

I would point out that the travel allowance isn’t quite as good as the $0.70/mile allowed business, but far better than the $0.21/mile rate allowed active duty personnel for moving. ADM Claus should probably apply for a variance, as there is only one pilot holding a Multi-Engine Sleigh endorsement.

Carrier Strike Group Three 

The Department of the U.S. Navy issued orders on Dec. 24, 2025 to Adm. Santa Claus, recalling him to active duty. A reservist with 1,748 years of service, this Naval Aviator specializes in vertical delivery of high-value items. He is carrier flight deck qualified and is also a Public Affairs Officer.

Also recalled were Lt. Cmdr. Dasher, Master Chief Dancer, Senior Chief Prancer, Lt. Vixen, Cmdr. Comet, Lt. Cmdr. Cupid, AW1 Donner, and AW1 Blitzen, Individual Augmentees from the Navy Reserve. Ensign Rudolph is also authorized to report for duty; however, he must first successfully complete Carrier Qual training, which he has failed three times.

Although the above Sailors are on orders for only 24 hours, it is anticipated that they will submit a travel claim for 24,901 miles at .56/mile, using a POV. Suitable government transportation is not available.

As a special operations unit, each member is granted a high level of uniform flexibility, as well as relaxed grooming standards. Per diem is authorized and has been modified to include large quantities of hot cocoa and cookies.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from CSG-3!

Real, Or Not?

Image
The updated Portland Christmas Tree

Satirical site That Oregon Life published an ‘article’ about the ‘inclusive’ Portland Christmas Tree. If you read the piece, you will not be able to tell that it is satire, because Progressives have become such a caricature of themselves that fiction cannot be separated from reality. Which is the world in which they operate. If your beliefs and actions can be mocked without differentiation, that’s proof you don’t live in the real world.

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Posted in Christmas, Lists | Tags: , ,

Posted by: bkivey | 20 December 2025

Rudolph the Red Taped Reindeer

This first appeared on Fixed Points 23 December 2011.

By MERRILL MATTHEWS JR

IT’S a good thing Santa Claus lives and works at the North Pole rather than in the U.S. If he had his shop in this country, Santa would have to function under so many laws and regulations that the federal government would likely close him down, leaving millions of boys and girls disappointed on Christmas morning.
Just consider some of the government agencies that could threaten Santa’s work:

The Fish and Wildlife Service. Santa’s sleigh is pulled by reindeer. But while reindeer are not an endangered species, flying reindeer are quite rare, and there is only one red-nosed reindeer known to exist. So under the Endangered Species Act, Dancer and Prancer might be allowed to continue working, but Rudolph would have to be placed in a safe habitat.

The Occupational Safety and Health Administration. It is not at all clear that Santa’s workshop would pass federal OSHA standards for workplace safety. Does Santa have too many elves packed into a small room? Are there an adequate number of fire extinguishers and fire escapes?

The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. It is clear that Santa hires a large number of vertically challenged people–elves. But all of these elves appear to be white males, which leaves the suspicion that Santa is in violation of the Civil Rights Act.

The Federal Aviation Administration. Santa’s flying sleigh would need to be equipped with seat belts to be used on takeoffs and landings. Since he flies over water, his sleigh would need a life preserver. The sleigh would also need the proper lighting–a real problem since Rudolph’s nose is red, which would normally indicate the rear of the flying object rather than the front.

The Commerce Department. Santa is involved in the transport of consumable goods, which means he would be subject to certain weight restrictions and proper placarding of his sleigh if any hazardous materials were on board. Furthermore, regulations limit the number of hours a person can operate a vehicle transporting goods. After 10 hours behind the reins, Santa would probably have to take an eight-hour break, impeding his ability to finish his world-wide job on Christmas Eve.

The National Labor Relations Board. Is Santa using cheap elf labor, or is he paying his elves at least minimum wage? Is he giving them a lunch break? Paying overtime? Providing elf health insurance? A retirement plan?

All of these issues are important, yet Santa is avoiding them by doing business at the North Pole. Which raises another vital concern: By “dumping” toys in the U.S. at below-market prices (to wit, free), Santa is subjecting U.S. toy manufacturers and dealers to unfair competition and putting countless Americans out of work.
There’s only one solution: Washington should impose stiff tariffs on goods imported from the North Pole, lifting them only when Santa ends his unfair trade practices and brings his operation up to American health and safety standards.

Mr. Matthews is vice president of domestic policy for the National Center for Policy Analysis in Dallas.

A Little Help, Please

The 18 December post “A Bad Day for Seat 3B” has apparently drifted off into the Aethernet. I can see it in code view, but not in post view, and does not display on the blog. If anyone happened to copy the post, I would be grateful if you could mail it. 

Regards

 

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Posted in Christmas, Government, Humor | Tags: , , , , ,

Posted by: bkivey | 18 December 2025

A Merry Rapping Christmas

First conceived, written, and published 18 December 2010.


Like most people I enjoy the holiday season running from Thanksgiving through New Years Day. And also like most people I dread the barrage of Christmas music emanating from speakers at the stroke of midnight Thanksgiving. If one works in a retail or service establishment the temptation to puncture one’s eardrums can be overwhelming. The problem is not so much the music per se but the fact that there’s only about a score of ‘traditional’ songs. In recent years there have been other Christmas songs in the rotation by contemporary artists, but there’s only so much that can be done with the material.

It has long been desire of mine to set traditional Christmas songs to a rap beat and use updated, but still PG-rated, lyrics. Take, for instance, Deck The Halls. In it’s traditional form it sounds like it should be sung on crack. But if you strip out the fa la la’s and set it to a heavy East Coast beat, you might get something like this:

Deckin’ the halls with boughs of holly
Trippin’ the season to be jolly
Steppin’ out with stone fly threads
Season’s tunes rollin’ through our heads
Check the blazing Yule before us
Sling an ax and join the chorus
Kickin’ it hard with an open 40
Tryin’ to make time talkin’ up a shorty
Check it yo the old year passes
Celebrate the new and raise your glasses
Homies singin’ all together
We ain’t studyin’ the wind and weather

Now, suppose Santa lived in a more urban environment instead of the North Pole, we might get a grittier type of Christmas song (based on It’s A Heat-Up by King Sun 1989):

It’s a Cheer-Up

Santa Claus

St. Nick is here now you can relax
If you need gifts; I’ve got stacks
Old and new jacks are tryin’ to prove that
They can be good, but I’ll remove
Your name from my list if your behavior is heinous
I see it all my omniscience is famous
Your only security is the purity
Of your heart ‘cause your words are heard
Throughout the atmosphere
When it’s time to review it I do it there
Where the names are trapped until the moment they’re tapped
From the master list for presents in my sack

I roam the globe traveling far and near
No major competition, my mission is to spread cheer
Anyone who can’t explain my speed
Don’t worry ‘bout it; ‘splainin’s not what you need
I’m a master of space and time
Drivin’ the rendeer or bustin’ a rhyme
Makin’ use of the theory of strings
To bring everyone presents and shiny things

Boys and girls all have the same thought
Am I real? Look at the presents I brought
I live forever: dyin’ would be never
Just accept the fact and don’t try to be clever
Gift giving is under my control
And any bad actor gets a lump of coal
Unplug your ears so you can hear
My name is Kris Kringle and I speak the truth
You can cry and send a false alarm
Or accept the Spirit and just get warm

It’s a Cheer-Up

Now go to sleep it’s time to get started
Pull out the big red sleigh with the presents
Hook up the reindeer make sure they’re ready
Kiss Mrs. Claus then it’s time to roll
Presents to good girls and boys my only goal
Ready set time to rock the clock
Flyin’ city to city workin’ block to block
The whole world in twenty four hours
Not missing a house: you can check it
It’s correct, but what do you expect
My gifting capabilities are too high-tech
And now to break out another old sound
While I’m doin my work all through the night
Merry Christmas to all and to all a Good Night!

Throw a few Christmas songs like this into the mix and you might even lower the rate of SAD and bah humbug moments.

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Posted in Christmas, Humor, Music | Tags: , , , ,

Posted by: bkivey | 18 December 2025

Late Fall at Kitty Hawk

Reprinted from 17 December 2018

The plan

WrightPatDraw1

Doing the research

Testing the Glider at Kitty Hawk, 10 October 1903:

Image result for wright brothers first flight

Making it real

Powered, controlled, heavier-than-air flight, 17 December 1903:

Image

And today

A Boeing 787-9 takes off in a manner usually reserved for something with guns:

Image

Bikes Fly Free Day

I maintain that airlines, or at least American ones, should allow bicycles to fly free every 17 December.

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Posted by: bkivey | 16 December 2025

NFL Week 15 Kickoff Temperatures*

As the National Football League winds down it’s last month, I thought to look at gameday temperatures in the second week of December, or Week 15 on the schedule. Byes end in Week 14, so every gridiron gamer was in action. Only two games took place indoors, and those in mild temperatures. The first two figures are still air temperature/wind chill; parenthesis are Canadian, er, Celsius, readings. While football players take pride in playing under nearly any weather conditions, I was more impressed with the sides in the 2017 MLS Cup in Toronto. First kick temp was -4 (25). People should not be running around in shorts and t-shirts when water is actively freezing.

11 December

Atlanta Falcons v Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Kickoff temperature: 71/71 (22)

Ah, December football in Tampa. Usually sunny, usually warm enough, but if you live there, you are wearing a jacket at 71F. When I lived there, seats were cheap for the NFL, because the Bucs’ teams were terrible. The year after I move, they win the Super Bowl.

14 December

Baltimore Colts v Cincinnati Bengals

Kickoff temperature: 10/-1 (-12/-18)

“Hey, wanna go to th . . ” “No.”

Arizona Cardinals v Houston Texans

Kickoff temperature: 53/47 (12/8)

An indoor venue at NRG stadium. Even if the game were outdoors, it’s still good football weather. NRG’s other claim to fame is as the home of the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo.

Las Vegas (Oakland? LA? Oakland?) Raiders v Philadelphia Eagles

Kickoff temperature: 29/17 (-3/-8)

I’m good to about 30F, maybe mid-20’s if it’s dry. Any lower, and, nope.

San Diego Chargers v Kansas CIty Chiefs

Kickoff temperature: 17/8 (-8/-13)

Toto, we’re not in San Diego, anymore.

Buffalo Bills v New England Patriots

Kickoff temperature: 32/26 (0/-3)

Not so bad for mid-December in New England.

New York Jets v Jacksonville Jaguars

Kickoff temperature: 76/78 (24/26)

Really, Jacksonville? We’re in the last month of the regular season, and that’s the best you can do for ‘football weather’?

Washington Commanders v New York Giants

Kickoff temperature: 27/19 (-3/-7)

Again, not bad for the time and location, but I will be watching from the bar.

Cleveland Browns v Chicago Bears

Kickoff temperature: 7/-9 (-14/-23)

There are way too many negative numbers, there.

Carolina Panthers v New Orleans Saints

Kickoff temperature: 48/40 (9/4)

Another indoor venue at the Superdome, but not unbearable outside. I can say from direct observation that the Superdome is large. Super, even.

Detroit Lions v Los Angeles Rams

Kickoff temperature: 58/58 (14/14)

Actually kind of cool, for LA. Sweaters and jackets.

Baltimore Colts v Seattle Seahawks

Kickoff temperature: 52/52 (11/11)

Average for the season. Also, grey.

Green Bay Packers v Denver Broncos

Kickoff temperature: 58/58 (14/14)

The Mile-High City the same temperature as Los Angeles in December? It must be the Gaia End Times we have been warned about since, oh, 1987.

Tennessee Titans v San Francisco 49’ers

Kickoff temperature: 47/47 (8/8)

Also normal for the season, and grey. When I lived in San Francisco, a kidney would not get you a ticket to a Niners game. This was during the time they won their second Super Bowl over the Dolphins (Dan Marino v Joe Montana) in 1985. “Squish the Fish”, because Americans are ignorant, and “Trammel the Mammal” doesn’t have the same ring. A jocktalker for an Oakland station had said that Miami had a ‘mortal lock’ on the Lombardi Trophy. A caller the next day asked him for the definition of ‘mortal lock’.

Minnesota Vikings v Dallas Cowboys

Kickoff temperature: 34/27 (11/-3)

Another indoor venue, but the outside temperature is certainly bearable. Tailgate activities probably figure in the cold-resistance.

15 December

Miami Dolphins v Pittsburgh Steelers

Kickoff temperature: 17/9 (-8/-13)

The Steelers served up Dolphin fillet. Don’t know that revenge was involved, but it was cold enough.

AI Try

The AI response to my query on the weather in Tampa on 11 December of this year; an event of historical record.

On Thursday, December 11, 2025, Tampa experienced cool temperatures with a high around 70-74°F and a low around 54-61°F. The day was likely sunny or mostly sunny after a cold morning, with light winds. 

What, you couldn’t look it up? And while low 70’s might seem laughably high for ‘cool temperatures’; you live there a couple of years, and they will be. I worked with someone from the Caribbean who was wearing a jacket under 80 “I’m cold, mon.”

Monday Night Football

A play was reviewed on what was described as an ‘expedited review’. You betcha, when it’s 17 (-8) damn degrees, and falling. Everyone is thinking of the locker room after the game.

* Was there really nothing else to write about?

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