Jun

Modesty

I enjoyed this article on modesty. I was raised to be somewhat ashamed of my body. This is a tough issue but I like the way REE addressed it. Some favorite lines:

What I’ve only just begun to realize is that these two extremes represent different sides of the same coin. While popular culture tends to disempower women by telling them they must dress to get men to look at them, the modesty culture tends to disempower women by telling them they must dress to keep men from looking at them. In both cases, the impetus is placed on the woman to accommodate her clothing or her body to the (varied and culturally relative) expectations of men. In both cases, it becomes the woman’s job to manage the sexual desires of men, and thus it is seen as her fault if a man ignores her on the one hand or objectifies her on the other. Often, these two cultures combine to send out a pulse of confusing messages: “Look cute … but not too cute! Be modest … but not frumpy! Make yourself attractive … but not too attractive!” Women are left feeling ashamed of their bodies as they try desperately to contort around a bunch of vague, ever-changing ideals. It’s exhausting, really, dressing for other people.

But our bodies are not something to be overcome; they are not dirty or shameful or inherently tempting. They are a beautiful part of what it means to be created in the image of God. These are the bodies that allow us to be the hands and feet of Jesus in the world, the bodies that feel sun on our skin and sand between our toes, the bodies that nurse babies and cry with friends, the bodies that emerge from the waters of baptism and feast on the bread of communion. They are beautiful, and they are good.

So my advice for women looking for bathing suits this season is this: Don’t dress for men; dress for yourself. It’s not your responsibility to please men with either your sex appeal or your modesty; each man is different, so it would be a fool’s errand anyway. Instead, prioritize strength, dignity and good deeds, and then dress accordingly.
Find something that makes you comfortable. Find something that is ethically made. Find something that gives you the freedom to run with abandon into those incoming waves—hot sand tickling your feet, warm sun tingling your skin—and revel in this body and this world God gave you to enjoy.

13 years ago Short URL Comments

Uncategorized

May

Violin folks

We are part of several communities, like most people. We see a lot of our families. We have our “old friends” — dear friends from high school and college days at KSU, our “newer friends”, a really fun group from the days we first moved to Wichita and lived in College Hill, our Andover community, church community, ski trip group, and Young Life/Young Lives folks (amazing people who care about kids and our city so much).

This post is related to a newer group of people that we are becoming acquainted with. Sophie started taking private violin lessons about two years ago. Lili is beginning lessons in a couple weeks (she is soooo thrilled). They take from an amazingly kind and talented woman who has been teaching for years in this area.

We are slowly getting to know what I’ll call the “young students of classical music” community. I’ve noticed that these families are hard workers, committing to a difficult schedule (Suzuki violin requires the parents to attend every lesson, practice every day and also attend group lessons and recitals.) They tend to be people of faith who are involved in church and church music. Also, the families are usually involved in many other community activities and excel at them. They’ve also been incredibly kind and welcoming.

Here’s an example. Yesterday, at Sophie’s recital, every family set up a table displaying things that they like to do as a family. One family raises and judges Irises, builds rockets, homeschools, raises bees and play all sorts of musical instruments. Another is into sailing, and of course many were involved in sports, art, theater, Scouts and other clubs.

They are usually a bit “off the beaten path” in a good way.

It’s a challenge to me to remember to keep growing and not to be afraid to try new things. It’s a good reminder that our kids can do all sorts of things, not just the things that are expected or “normal” for suburban kids. (Matt is starting junior archery with Sophie this summer!) It made me consider my tendency to be a consumer, instead of being a contributor and learner.

What about you? What communities are you a part of that challenge your status quo? What unique qualities make up the communities you are a part of and how can you grow as a result?

14 years ago Short URL 2 Comments

deep thoughts/music

Apr

Pre-Pinterest wedding :)

Great article! “Try as we may, we don’t get to custom-build our happiest moments. Instead, they sneak up on us. They show up, ready or not, in everyday acts of love and grace—a lazy summer night with all the windows open and the fans blowing, a love note on a post-it stuck to the mirror, an unloaded dishwasher, the smell of home after a long road trip, forgiveness, perseverance, chocolate-chip pancakes, a finished project, a shared history, laughing until you pee in your pants a little, that hug that feels like the safest place in the world.” Rachel Evans

Whole Article

14 years ago Short URL 1 Comment

Uncategorized

Apr

To Sophie

Sophie,

Today you are getting baptized. This is such a beautifully simple act of faith. I love that we are witnessing this sacrament on Easter morning since it is so connected with the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Beginning when you were a tiny girl, you felt God’s presence in such a vivid way. The mysteries of the spiritual realm have always made sense to you. I remember that when you were about three years old, you sat at your window in the mornings praying and singing to God. He has given you a special ability to connect with Him in your spirit.

Here is a quote about baptism by N.T. Wright from his book Simply Christian.

In particular, we can now see why Christian baptism involves being plunged into water (or having it poured over you) in the name of God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The point is that the story which baptism tells is God’s own story, from creation and covenant to new covenant and new creation, with Jesus in the middle of it and the Spirit brooding over it. In baptism, you are brought into that story, to be an actor in the play which God is writing and producing. And once you’re onstage, you’re part of the action. You can get the lines wrong. You can do your best to spoil the play. But the story is moving forward, and it would be far better to understand where it’s going and how to learn your lines and join in the drama. Through the water to become part of God’s purpose for the world.

Sophie, I am waiting on pins and needles to witness your part in this grand story; how God is going to use your beautiful soul to mark the world. Your kindness, gentleness and love for people and nature have taught me and many others so much. You see the best in God, in others, and in the created world.

Your dad and I feel a sense of responsibility in encouraging you to be part of this sacrament today. But really, this is simply a confirmation of what we have known your whole life; you are a spiritual being, you recognize that you were created and that you need help. The great story of redemption is already shining through your six year-old life. This act of faith doesn’t take away life’s difficulties, it doesn’t mean you have all the answers, it just means that you know that God is with you and ultimately all things will be made new.

I close with the first five verses from Romans 6 from the Message bible:

So what do we do? Keep on sinning so God can keep on forgiving? I should hope not! If we’ve left the country where sin is sovereign, how can we still live in our old house there? Or didn’t you realize we packed up and left there for good? That is what happened in baptism. When we went under the water, we left the old country of sin behind; when we came up out of the water, we entered into the new country of grace—a new life in a new land!

That’s what baptism into the life of Jesus means. When we are lowered into the water, it is like the burial of Jesus; when we are raised up out of the water, it is like the resurrection of Jesus. Each of us is raised into a light-filled world by our Father so that we can see where we’re going in our new grace-sovereign country.

I love you always, and am humbled by the great gift God has given me in you,

Mommy

14 years ago Short URL 3 Comments

kid #1

Apr

Learning this…slowly.

14 years ago Short URL Comments

deep thoughts

Mar

Melt my heart!

[vimeo http://vimeo.com/38404764%5D

She still gets tears in her eyes over her lost puppy.

14 years ago Short URL 3 Comments

kid #1

Mar

Waiting for the bus

14 years ago Short URL 2 Comments

family/kid #2/kid #3

Feb

A Connected Gospel

“The full “knot” of the Gospel connects the entire life of Jesus, from birth to teachings to miracles to death to resurrection to ascension to the second coming and to the End of Ends when God is All in All.” Scot McKnight

Linda @robinhoodcouture

Ellen Million

14 years ago Short URL Comments

spiritual life

Feb

Two questions

If you are married with kids or even if not, these two questions from the book Organized Simplicity by Tsh Oxenreider of Simple Mom are just great to think about!

–Collectively, we are at our best when we are …

–Collectively, we are at our worst when we are …

I just love this because at times, we think what is best for us individually is what is best for everyone. But that is not always the case. This helped me to consider our strengths and weaknesses as a family group. Of course, the answer will change as the family changes and ages.

For now, I can say that our little family is at our best when we are active, have a plan and stick to it, and have time to rest as well as play creatively.

Active: Indoors or outdoors, we are happiest when we are active as a family. In the winter months, that means heading to the Y to swim or rock climb together. This winter we’ve been able to be outside a lot (you should see Miles fly down the driveway on his “toot scoot”!) Matt likes to run while the girls ride their bikes alongside. In the summer, it’s lots of walks, bike rides, park visits, and anything else that gets us out of the house!

Play: This one is difficult for me as I don’t describe myself as a creative person. It is so easy for me to avoid engaging the family in creative activities. I have lots of excuses. (Laundry being at the top of the list!) However, it’s so worth it to do a puzzle, bake or make something, or play a game. Our kids (minus maybe Sophie) have always needed more guidance than we’d like in this area. Sometimes we even ask ourselves what we are doing wrong, because without our direct involvement our kids tend to be destructive/annoying/fighting, etc. I think this will get easier as they age.

We are at our worst when we are over scheduled, tired, and have no plan for the day/week/month, or when we choose the path that requires little to no creativity (i.e. kids watching movies non-stop or wandering around the house being destructive). This is when the mommy and kid meltdowns occur.

Over scheduled: I really have to watch this one. My capacity for doing activities and being with people is far greater than other members of my family. Can you guess which two members of our family get stressed out when we have too much going on? I need to consider other members of my family before I say “yes” to any number of things. The fun thing is that since I have time during the day, I can run around during the day or help someone by babysitting, etc. and it doesn’t affect, ahem, everyone else.

So, how about you and your family? How would you answer the questions today?