Classics

i know ive got a temper,
but i dont fking do dirty stuff on court.

it's like you bang a car and tell the driver,
"Driving is like that one what."
and walks away without apologizing.

_|_


have never, NEVER been so infuriated by my own teammate.
and i really had enough already.

i will NEVER resort to hurting my own teammate just to get that ball in.
seriously, NEVER.

all these things, ever since ive come to realization how competitive basketball in poly works. it just irks and discourages me from wanting to do well. and there's no way im gna turn into someone like them.

NO. FREAKING. WAY.

if playing ball is like that, i rather i dont play at all.
i rather admit i cant play basketball anymore.

please dont disgust me with your own logic.
rules should be changed becos of ppl like you.

Now that training has resumed, i feel so much better about my body. No more guilt feeling and i aim to be health conscious! No more unhealthy food, no more junk food (i'll try!), and no more tight head!

It's like the stress is released together with the fatigue.
dark eye circles were lessen too! 

and i have the determination to work hard. 

set my priorities right, and most importantly,

stop doing things that will upset myself. It would be difficult in the beginning, but surely ive got no time for them as projects are all released. i know i can do this.

Positive mindset. 
Positive attitude.

Success. 

what the ____

i hate my dreams lately. it's killing me.

Maybe going back to school will make it better? 
I wanna get real busy again, so ive got no time for all these nonsense.

i promise to devote my time to studies and trainings and pull up the goddamn GPA back to the right track arghhhh how the hell am i gonna go Uni with only 3.12 goddamnit.

I hope they will stop nagging me cos i dont like to feel that im indebted to any particular person. sometimes, motivations like this should be kept to the minimal and let the person herself find it. D.I.Y. geddit??

self-discipline is all i need now.
i used to have it back then so now im gonna have it back.

urgh needa get this off my chest. went to see this lady who could translate whatever this god wants to tell us. and she REALLY can describe to me the flaws of my body system without me telling her just by feeling my body.

Say for example she could feel that my tail bone is very fragile and she asked me if i run Alot and i told her i fell down and injured it 7yrs ago. and just by feeling, she knows i lack of blood and has constipation. she also talked to me about my character and studies.

then she went on to talk about the relationship between me and my dad and i was really grateful to her. without her, i guess it would be so difficult to convey our messages and feelings to each other. it has been 3years and just now was the 1st time in the whole 3years my dad actually called my name.

it felt so extraordinary. like nothing can make me feel this way anymore.

i don't think many will understand how i feel. don't try to understand it either because that simply won't work. it's not as easy as you think.

i'm beginning to think that...

i should not be grabbing tightly to the things that i value for i might lose it anytime and the cycle repeats.

grow up.

 and they call this a family.

knn.

Touched on that sensitive topic again. Totally regretted it.

Even after 28days already, I can still remember EVERY process of what my Grandpa had gone through, witnessed with my own eyes. How he couldnt sit up on his own without help from so many people, how he couldnt support himself even when he is seated up already. Every bite he he took was like a struggle. He was so fragile, and i was so afraid that even that even touching him would seem painful enough for him already.

And those tears when Grandma realized how fast Grandpa's health is deteriorating. It was so hard for me to breathe when I was at the hospice. As Grandpa went back home, and with all knowing that his days was numbered, really didnt know what to do. Mom was so upset and it hurts to see your own mother crying.

It was just too hard for me to call out my Grandpa when he was almost leaving us already. It's like the throat was stuffed with something that hurts when you try to say it out loud.

Although most of the cousins weren't close to Grandpa cos whenever we visit our Grandparent's house, Grandpa would not be home usually, and would only come back during dinner time after meeting his friends. But blood is always thicker than water.

Really hope he is doing well up there. For all that he had done for the family even when all his kids had grown up with their own family, till death, he was still very intelligent and made sure that nothing was left complicated for his children. And the love between him and Grandma, it was indescribable. It's hard to put them in words.

I wish Grandma can be alright already. That loneliness inside...

• earn more moolah to go overseas for holiday
• be less emotional already
• be more motivated when doing everything
• dont take things for granted
• improve in anger management (GOD so difficult)
• be less violent (lol)
• get FIT not fat! (soon soon!)
• dont sleep in lectures (something which i fail every year)
• reorganize my room (whoaaaa!)

I'm 6 days late but who cares.

yaaaapfy! stop being so bad-tempered already can? why are you always causing all these redundant problems. you know this really hurts people around you so stop it already. 


okay i'll try to change, byebye! 

You know, i really dont know how long can i take this anymore.

Hurts so much when it happens, and it's difficult to breathe.

I really dont see why must this be so torturing.

I hate it when people keeps depending on you for everything.

Can you just read between the lines? Furthermore, we are NOT close so dont keep coming like we're close friends. The more you ask, it just makes me feel like you're a loser.

And if you dont know who im referring to, dont assume. Cos assumptions are stupid.