Something Lik Magik

Everyone around me reminds me constantly that they have a loving family. A loving group of friends. People they run to in the first seconds of something major.

I die a little every time I ask people the 'What would you do if you.....' question

"My mum" "Family" "Best friend" "Girlfriend" "Boyfriend"

Its nice to hear, except for tearing abit inside. Because I never had a first choice, never am a first choice

But this is a result of being harshly independent, isnt it

It's been long!!!!!

But life s still sucking n im still stuck here there anywhere

Its gonna be another year in bout 20+ days WAO everythings passing by soo fast i can barely catch up
2010 was almost amazing i did fuckin hell lot of shit i hvan done in my entire life

n the one that made it to the top of the list is undeniably : Getting our asses stuck in bangkok airport

Probably the most amazing experience I ever had............................with all the uncertainty of flying back ahhahaha NO we r not stuck in a riot/war we were STUCK IN A JAM resulting in us MISSING OUR FLIGHTS hahahhahhahhahha damn loserish but i mean lookin back...it was actually kinda fun HAHA! From running towards the counter to find out the plane is in the sky, to calling sgp to buying internet card for bookin flights online to finding out we cant book online less than 24 hrs before to finally giving up to stone at starbucks. Thank god my lappie was with me all the while ahahha. Spent one frickin busy night at the airport before finally using up the one last chance - queue at counters at 5am to grab tix
N before we know it we r on our way back to sgp again......... with a significant amount of $$$ gone HAHAHHAHA

Of course this yr had its bad sides also leh... LIKE INTERNSHIP HAHAHHAHHA m currently stuck with internship now okla its not that bad but hor!! So tiring........ which reminds me that I hvan start on my portfolio still.......life sux

OKLA ANYWAY GOT NEW AIRCON NOW ITS LIKE CHANGE OK 201111111111 HerE I COME!!!!!

Temporary shift 2 papervase.tumblr.com!!

Doubt anyone reads this anyway haha for my own good! ^^

Time for a proper update!!

Ok since the hols started everyday was filled 2 the brim cuz ive been slping till 3 almost everyday so my day starts at uh 5
Im still living on crumbs nw spent my money on useless things
been to marina barrage fo the first time haha I know SUAKU whocares!! I died the weather was a killer the transport took so long!!! I think im gonna swear off gg there ever agn.. Plus hj & me were @ sentosa befo that cuz she wanted to do some tanning the. sun. almost. killed. me. Well i went for fun since its a good chance to wake up earlier than usual haha!! Its good 2 b white but apart frm tht i cant even get dark if i want to.. I know I know....... U R ALL JEALOUS. HAHAHAHAHAHHAokla

Butter n phuture a few times dur the hols imma cut down on going its not taking my life anywhere im just wasting money

Met up with old friends :>:>:> Old friends old times luv all of u

Yesterday i went over to the it show in hope of getting some ear plugs but i died outside new york new york in citylink. Seriously the crowd was just amazing!! So amazing i lost control and started my string of vulgarities at strangers cuz this motherfucker fuckin elbow me & pretend nothing happen ya go and fuck your life. Seriously these bunch of people beats all the kpop fangirls running around sg nw in search of their flowerboys... The whole crowd wouldnt even budge i mean IS THERE A FUCKIN DINOSAUR IN FRONT?! it was fuckin stagnant and those dumbass behind me squeeze me step me elbow me as if it'll work. u get to the front i give u 100$
So turn around squeeze out of the dumbasses n walked by the outside it was salvation bt poor me still screaming thru the phone i was agitated
Went over to the floating shit for the entertainment awards haha its my first time thr!! Actually i really dunno sg well so many places i nv been to before lol suaku
I hv to admit i went thr cuz of shinee lol i feel damn embarrassed!! All the people running ard all little girls & boys haha okla they v handsome lor
so now is a happy girl
but srsly their fans r crazy such high staminas keep running ard can join marathon ard
kids nowadays...........................

I seriously need a job, no cash flow at all now means depleting my bank acct completely, fml.
I should probably be serious about getting a job aldy+my tuition kid hvan pay me
Scrape the need.a.life part now i need a job

Hes only 18 when he did this its awesome!!!!!!!

This song is like a reflection of my life.........................................................................................................................

I know im constantly trying to make others happy, when in fact im trying to make myself happier. Nothing really makes me happy. Gotta stop trying to be nice to everyone and stop trying to put on a false front
i know right why make a fool of myself just to make others happy
everyones taking everything for granted
everyones selfish.
from today onwards, im going to live for myself
MY SELF

my life is actually nothing bt a wreck i fail at almost every thing

life school relationship

every.fucking.thing

Supposed to be done with all the projects n tests !!!

BUT........................ M struggling with cds proj haha stupid proj due on the last wk of schl !

wellzie hvan been putting in so much effort into anything for really long..... i know right?!?!?! I mean im like compiling the whole report i feelik dying thanks

i rly dunno wht i will do to the teacher if i fail it

ok another struggle shld i buy my diamante pants for 89 $$?!?!?!?!?!?!

Yesterday out of boredom i went to play tennis after i got my MC sooooooo healthy!!
altho i was on the court for say... 10mins at most HAHA

HAHAHAHAHA ive 4 days of school left !!!!! meeheeheeeeeee

then to kbox its fuckin cheaapcheap srsly everyone shld go !!

td i went to tp for fun

Crasy of course not i wento submit mc + entrep proj

okok struggling betw heading out / packing my room / do fem nw

i feel like forfeiting the 20% leh, like can pass fem

"I'm not perfect but i keep trying, cuz thats what I said I would do from the start"

projjies n presentations r almost all overr!!

left with my cock cds n fem indiv

hahahahhahahahahah YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE no words can express my joy ;) ;)

no srsly its like the holidays !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the wkends were rly gdd  yippeeyay yay phuture !! 

from lovegifs.tumblr.com

I JUST REALISE GOT SO MUCH TO DO FOR LOGISTICS N OPERATIONS !!!!! HAHA CAN DIE

OKLA THE PIC ALSO FOR ALL U STRUGGLING W FEM CULTURE WHATEVER IT IS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wed.
wed.
wed.

ITS 1 JAN 2010 I FEEL OBLIGED TO MAKE AN ENTRY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


from fuckyeahhappy.tumblr

2009 sucked really badly, i know i probably had a fair share of fun after this whole year but the amount of bad things happening totally overwhelmed me
Almost nothing was good.
Towards the ending of 2009, i had to get into a class of strangers
Yea im still struggling

I even had school on the last day of 2010
so i spent my 1st second of 2010 this year with hj reynold arthur with our mahjong tiles + chn 54 countdown + reynolds' confession to arthur
Gd way to start the yr instd of partying n counting down since i won some money !!
But i sort of became rlly tired at like 3 am and we were talking about depressing things AND I FUCKING BECAME DEPRESS HAHA
BAD !!!

Sounds gross but I'm really looking forward 2 2010
I think my life needs a change
Its the new year now!!
Number 1 good thing that is happening in the new year
: NEW TV IS COMING ON SUN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :> :>
I FEEL THE CHANGE !! :>

2010 HUAT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I just got this !!! :>:>:>:>:>
Cannot wait for the year to end 09 sucked 2010 PLZ B BETTER !!!
i want my swallow on my feet/ankle nx yr!!! :>:>
Im starting tuition agn means $$$ one whole month of holidays for them boys and girls = drought for me
altho i just gt some f21 tops + topshop dress !!!!! :> i luv the yr end sales!!!!!
okok here only to share my joy yippeeeeeeeee

Broke but happy !!!

SHOW U ALL SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  






 

 

BAHAHAHAHAHAHHA THE HAIR FUCKIN LONG RIGHT WOAH I DIDN KNOW SIAL LUCKY GO CUT IT ALTHO STILL ABIT REGRET (sry my face damn dui)
this one like zhen zi

ok nw show u my new bangle
CHEAP STEAL winks

 

okie gotta rush projex
on a whooping friday nitezz!! no club no club xxx

Im back from the kl trip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3 theme parks in 3 fuckin days hahahahaha just shiok!!
classic rollercoaster pix lol srsly its like da bombz
reached sunway at like 6am on fri the hotel nothing but shiok
first time i feel that hotel bed better than my hse one damn big!!!!!!!
ok anyway im back

before that i met up w becky n friends for shawn s farewell hes going to enlist one wk after his As just sad
k @princess
then butter weds i think w fel n friends
they were hvg some anni so the human traffic was crasy
speaking of which when i gt back to sg
wl left me offline msg U R ON STOMP!! MUAHAHAHAHHA that bitch went to stalk all the club pix thr
then proj work right before my trip haha this sem is crazy anyway
by the time i got hme bathed all it was like 10pm my dad gimme 5mins to pack before sending me to my cousin's
obviously i forgot alot of things

monday i got back to sg
past days were quite boring bt i did alot of shopping!!!!! had grp mtg @ museum + shopping aft that!!! yippee then went to the premiere of bodyguards assasins woah i like the show!! like quite long since i gt quite involved in a show then yest shop w mengz usual gossipz hehe^^
one fine yr passed so fast

finally after one+ yrs my dad ripped open a tp letter n read it, becuz i was overseas
finally he found out that i hvan been going to schl
merry christmas
this time rd i didn even bother to cook up some excuse i told him to b prepared to receive more of such letters by the end of my tp life
the letters will keep coming in so i mean might as well just let him know
n my mum just screwed me cuz i hvan been telling her my grades
DOES IT EVEN MATTER?
i mean srsly what matters most is if i pass/fail the sub right
if i m safely moving on to the nx semesters till nw
why the fuck do u bother about my past grades it jollywell means that i hv passed every fuckin thing every end sems right
just because of some fucker of an auntie u come n fuck me upside down
she thinks i m fuckin lieing to her when i told her i pass
ya right
srsly i mean it whenever i say my mother hv no brains im serious
she just listens to WHATEVER anyone else says
her god is everybody around her other than her own family
srsly wld u even listen to the comments of someone whose child is doing worse than yours?
im not cut out fo studying but i still try n pass every fuckin thing so that those losers hv nothing to say
n now u think im lying abt my results im rly cool about it UNTIL that mother fucker believes them
ok nw lets see
10 yrs down the rd
whos going to do better

abv is just one pile of nonsense
sometimes family is the worst problems i m facing
i hv such a huge extended family with all fuckin sorts of people ard
my closest cousins n i hate the new year n any sorts of family gatherings it is the worst form of smokescreen for u to totally get run down by people u dun evn exactly know

............ n i made it ... into the last day of the first half of the semester

hvan been to schl for a wk
i dunno..... its part of like my concrete planning

on tuesday i snipped my hair into an awkward length
:O
actually i forgot what hv i been doing
ok i think i was at town on monday yesyes with jac
18chefz w hj on tues + tamp w yp
td i finally finished the child sex report

im almost cleared with all the reports i think?
hope nx half of the sem gonna hv less work hha
i need my life to pass by in a breeze

ok nw i need 2 survive schl tmr

This was one of my best week since the sem started !! :}

im STILL as depressed over schl as ever BUT considering the fact that i only hv ONE official schl day the whole wk, im contented enough!!
monday was one hell of a long day because its monday
tuesday i had a makeup lesson with brenda s class woah the teacher is so boring
then met hj after class !! haha i got 2 pairs of shoes that day soooooooo happy!!~~
weds i met up with the funniest lot of people ever 2A+4B !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! srsly man its been sooooooooo long we all last seen each other!! All the 6 girls turned up + yongsheng zhanyi muaha ya la all happy As over then we headed for 2012 altho 3 of them watched it before but majority wins LOL then we to kbox!!!!!!! Left at 11+ back home changed then to reynold s for majong !!! lol acty i wasnt THAT tired bt after the game it was sunrise HAHA the birds were chirping it was like 740 alr so i collapse awhile n left for schl at 1030 0.0 ya, SCHOOL cuz i ve cds if nt its like another free day
so i had the worst cds and then proj meeting n then dinner w 03 n then home n then to drink! supposedly to head to 85 awhile but i.was.so.tired haha
then hor on fri i tried completing comtempt BUT major fail goobye 35% altho i was home the wholeday
satz i went to nlb w hj brenda n i decided to stay on since i ve lappie might as well right then jac came over then we went for dinz then i back to the lib for like one hr plus then i traveld to bh place at lik 930 hehheh gym!! feels quite healthy nw lol
td i just completed my contempt one whole piece of rubbish

my week was quite boring la haha but i think cuz no schl so i very happy
lolzzzmuahahahahhahahahhagonna head out niow!!!!!!

one of the worst wks of this half of the semester s over!!!
cn rest for one wk then nx wk all the other deadlines agn
but after that ITS THE HOLIDAYZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this wk was terrible
assignments assignments tests
its almost like killin me

i think i drank 2 much agn
gotta rest agn for a wk
then party
then rest
then party
haha nice cycle !!

arthurs bday on fri
i had a terribly long day in schl
phuture with almost everyone
this time rd i thk i gt killed by martell
pure
i was fuckin high on the sky
no its embarassing acctually

the nx day i got a hangover
2 panadolz do the trick
gramma s hse at nite
hi cuzzie wuzzie

td morn i woke up at 8AM
my other cuz s going to the us
muaha then we headed to bg
then we back to gramma hse

nw im home
dreading schl tmr agn
tmr s a loong loong dayyyyy + testtesttest

gd day

When you think today will be a bad day, Today IS going to be a bad day. Because there are more bad days than good days. The truth is no one really thinks living a boring life is good luck, but whenever something happens, its bad luck.

Im sick again !!!!! HAHA

fever+cough+runningnose+sore throat actually i saw it coming
last wk i probably drank 2 fucking much
it sort of was like one of the worst weeks of my life

v funny on mon aft tuition the usuals came over with one hell lot of drinks
hv to hide it n immediately run into my room lol
gd thing cuz i tues no schl hehe^^
on tues i met jac n we went 18chefs!! she keep forcing me totalk about my dark secret...
lol
n then we went over to bh!!
weds was a secret haha we chiong drinks @butter!!!
puked like one madass when i got home it was terrible bt felk gd at the same time lol
the taxi uncle vv funny we were discussing about him gg over to changi village aft driving us to pasiris
then we had a vv heated discussion about bapoks n hw hot they r
then the uncle drove past a red light... LOL i think he also drunk

thursday i went to school... still
as usual boring thursdays with cds
fri i skipped schl got mc n watchd movie with hj !!
got home changed off to germaine s bday !
me fel took train+bus to zouk so retarded lol
i feel sooooo weird
ya the rest was drunk.. i didn know until i saw the pictures...
i thought everyone was perfectly fine turns out everybdy face was fucking red
i found out my special skill
i dun get drunk by tequila
maybe cuz i keep peeing haha
funniest thing that happen that night was probably this guy getting boxed in the face by some stranger
blood whooooo haha

sat n sun at my grammas w cousin
barchor kuaytiao!!

mon i went schl feeling slightly happier!
Annsiang feel gone a little :>
but then tues i feelik the germs attacking my body so annsiang feel back!!
hoseh nw whole body system like cock up
want talk also cannot

this wk must refrain frm drinking
byebye
 

Im so depressed with my life

i know sometimes we got to just move on with our lives despite whatever is happening
i know time doesnt stop for me
but nw everything s like crashing crashing down sometimes i wish im someone else

I tell myself i hv hit the rock bottom n nothing cn be worse bt actually thats not true. i know thrs so many ppl out thr whos facing things much worse than i m but im never really contented with my life.

Still everyday i tell myself a lie.  "Tomorrows going to be a better day"