| (no subject) |
[Dec. 9th, 2010|06:07 am]
wo_de
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Have you ever being neglected by the one you really love, helpless & devastated fervently wishing that just one day he would notice you back again? Have you ever felt this point that you no longer feel needed, your presence is redundant?
I have. What about you?
When your things are spoiled, you discard them.
When friends are bad, you allienate them.
What about to people who merely know how to love and care for you yet you've already taken it for granted and you don't see it because you are like that? Half-fuck standard. You don't cherish things till the end?
After getting sick of me, you get sick of your dog.
He loved you so much.
how much do you love him? |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 21st, 2010|10:43 pm]
wo_de
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What do you do if you know that your friend is lying to you? Do you still define him or her as a Good friend?
Im very upset.
I shouldn't care but...
nevermind. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 18th, 2010|09:23 am]
wo_de
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What does it means to truly love someone?
Is it meant that that particular person could make you feel the glitters of joy showering your world like drizzles, able to bring your emotions to the peak of the euphoria & at the same time,he is also able to bring you to the deepest depth of sorrows & you cry the hardest pain?
When was the last time I felt it that way?
There was a time in my life I thought I knew the answer, the feeling of being in love. The true kind of love.
If you were to ask when was the last time my heart died for loving someone I would speak Ben. Which was also my first love. It'd meant that I'd cared for him more deeply than I'd cared for my self and that I gullibly thought he's the one I would spend the rest of my lives with.
I immensely believe all girls ever have faith in this cliche , " the first and the last " and my belief, I mean used to, was nothing out of the ordinary. If you are able to last till the end with the very first guy you love, why not? I mean which girl doesn't desire? It meant that you squandered your youth days together with him & grow up together, heading towards the same path & living in the same book. But sadly, at the end of the day it was all only my own airy fairy dream.
All stories has three parts; a beginning, a middle, and an end. This is although the way all stories unfold, I still didn't expect that ours didn't go on forever.
We lasted for almost a 4 year. A difficult 4 year I would say I'd went through hell. The first time always hurts the most. Just like putting a tattoo ( although I've never had one) , poking holes through your skins for fashion or getting a jab from a doctor etc..
That was the first time I've experience my heart so sore I'd almost couldn't breathe.
And that's how my first love story has an ending. A sad one. ( which is the opposite to the happily-ever-after movies, ha!)
Like you'd bet, I cry seconds to minutes & sulk for the entire year.
But not all bad experience gives you negative outcome. I couldn't agree to the fact that love makes you grow. It teaches you how to take responsibilty of other people feelings & how to take care of one another.
After all the pouring & it's all sunshine after the rain, the best thing you've gained is You Know How To Take Care Of Your Self Better.
And then I met Kevin. The second guy who stole my heart away.
At first I thought it was impossible, but he've made it possible despite the age gap we have.
He gave me the feeling of " when it's daylight it's as romantic as night & when the night falls it's as bright as during the day "
Basically our relationship was base on the logic about simplicity is bliss. I didn't expect what I've expected from Ben, it would be too much for him. I've also learn how to take things in stride. Be patient and take things slowly.
But when you love somebody desperation would overcome in you & that's the reason accountable for our break up.
Everyone have heard the saying goes, nothing is impossible. I beg to differ, there is.
The evidence is here that you cannot force someone so young for them to mature to a certain level.
Like how an infant can't talk until they reach a certain age on the average.
There Are Things That Are Impossible.
Anyway I didn't fell as hard as the first time. Even though I'd admit that it tore me asunder when our love faded away.
Still it would never be as painful as the first time.
I always reflect on these things, as always the past together comes back to me. I find my self reminiscing how it all began.
And reinstate the solitary kind of life, I pondered hard whether I would ever fall in love again. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 7th, 2010|03:00 pm]
wo_de
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To be honest, no one else can make me feel how you make me feel.
Your presence calm my nerves, like a heavy down pour finally died down, the huge water droplets transformed into diminutive raindrops and turned into a drizzle.
Even if we don't cackle at the same jokes anymore, how I try to rake up the same old humours & how it turned out me to be the only one laughing the same old ways. You kept quiet.
You just smile, whirling around, look into everything but my eyes.
I don't know if you know, that it hurts me deep down because you are not happy & cheerful anymore.
I recollect the unique way of laughter you used to have, The very unique way of laughter you only show when you were with me.
I recollect how small things amused you & make you happy, how you talk & blabber like a juvenile with your kiddish voice.
I thought you said and promised that you are happy without me.
Then what's going on?
I jolted back into the present, I'm attached to someone else, What was I thinking?
It's true when I said this someone, this new person has the ability to make me happy, I wasn't lying.
But it's different.
He could make me laugh the most awesome laugh like no one else could but he doesn't touch my heart like how you touch mine.
If you see sorrows in my eyes, don't believe it. Because I really mean it when I say I'm happy now.
If you still see your self in my heart..
I just wanna tell you
When I look at you,
When I see your face,
my heart palpitated wildly, my pulse accelerated
because I know
deep down
right at the bottom of my heart
it's still bleeding. |
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