Wednesday, June 30, 2010 10:39 pm

cupcake

2:07 am

):

listen, ♥
It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart.

I'm a complete flop. I make such a perfect loser, no one is ever second to me. I suck at every single thing I do. I hate my life. I want to die right now. ):

You light up the dark.

MARTHA!

12:28 am

pray

listen, ♥

Dear Lord,

Please give me hope in my time of despair. I swear upon my life that I did my best and gave nothing but my best shot. Please don't let me retain, I cannot deal with such a blow. ):

Love,
MARTHA!

Saturday, June 26, 2010 10:34 am

eeks

listen, ♥Tomorrow is Sunday. I'm still no where near completing my work. I'm damn screwed. ):

I'm only done with Literature which is freaking killing me. I'm only done with International Trade and not the rest for Econs. I need to refresh AD-AS. /: I'm done with Arab-Israeli and almost done with Indo-Pak. /: I haven't touched SEA History. ): My Biology is no where near completion and I still cannot understand anything! ):

I just screwed my own life! ):

2:00 am

cupcake

listen, ♥I'm sorry Cupcake, for letting you down time and again. ):

You'll understand better soon.

Friday, June 25, 2010 12:08 pm

):

listen, ♥I MAY BE NICE BUT IT DOESN'T GIVE YOU ANY REASON TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MY KINDNESS!

9:56 am

flood

listen, ♥Singapore should just drown in the flood.

1:28 am

couragefailure

listen, ♥I may be afraid of failing, but I promise to try harder and pick myself up from where I fell.

I may be afraid of losing, but I promise to give it my best shot.

But failing and losing so much has diminished all my hope of standing up again. All I need is for you to be there, but you never would. Cause you're gone, like the wind. Never to return again. ): I miss you, you know?

Wednesday, June 23, 2010 10:43 pm

fuck

listen, ♥Fuck my family. Screw my Brothers. They can like flip and die for all I care. Fuck my whole shit head life. I don't need uncaring people who cannot stop nagging and making me feel worse when I get home from a long day, studying.

Seriously, fuck every single one of you!

I love you Nanny, always!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010 10:41 pm

mamalian

listen, ♥I've been having this bloody headache since a thousand weeks ago, I freaking lost count. It's so disturbing, I cannot concentrate. /:

I am so bloody annoyed, I can bang my head on the wall.

I AM A LOSER SO LIVE WITH IT!

Monday, June 21, 2010 10:20 pm

talk

listen, ♥
I smile to know that you're alive.

Hi Love,

Thank you so much for the online card. I love it, especially the puppies that appeared at the end. It's so adorable, I wish Marcus was a little more like them. In any case, I love you for always being there for me. (: From the bottom of my heart, I wanna thank you. :D

xoxo,
Martha.

Hi Cupcake,

I'm sorry that I caused you to have rashes. You know that I never meant for that to happen and I wish I could do something more to help you. ): I promise to be more careful next time!

xoxo,
Martha!

Hi Ronaldo,

I love you for scoring the 6th goal and I'm so proud of you being the team's captain. Above all, I love the fact that your team has scored 7 goals. MY FAVOURITE NUMBER! (:

xoxo,
Martha.

Hi Umairah,

Thank you for coming out to study today! Hope you like the Brownie. I love you Bimbo. (:

xoxo,
Martha!

Okay, I'm tired. I'm gonna sleep early today cause I'm meeting JeslynLove tomorrow! :D

GOODNIGHT! (:

I will not make the same mistake I did.

MARTHA!

12:39 am

wtf

listen, ♥I swear I would cry if my boyfriend has his ex-girlfriend picture all over his wall.

12:12 am

/:

listen, ♥If I had a sister, I wouldn't choose to be with her ex-boyfriend cause it puts us all in an awkward position.

I pity you, somehow.

Sunday, June 20, 2010 11:33 pm

everything

listen, ♥
Always there when you call.

Today, Cupcake is happy and I'm glad. (:

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY DADDY!
I hope you like your new Liverpool jersey cause I don't like it. :P

Totally wasted my day cause I'm so unproductive. ):
I HATE MYSELF FOR BEING SO INCOMPETENT!

Baked Brownies today! (:
Dearie's so cute! She text me to tell me about the markers that we use. :P

Cupcake and Umairah tomorrow! :D
I love my study partners! *big hugs*

Today I saw Engwee and I was so happy! (: I think he has another 2 kids? Or is it 1? He's such a sweet Daddy and I'm proud of him! I miss his Math lessons and how he always motivated me! I remember how I use to go to his house to study and he'll order pizza! Issac's such an adorable darling. (: *melting*

REALLY WISH I TOOK MATH! ):

Okay, I should stop crapping and sleep soon.
I NEED TO BE HELL PRODUCTIVE TOMORROW!

ONE MORE WEEK TO PROMOS!
*chants I will survive*

Voda, have fun in camp! I'll miss you! *big hugs and slobbery kisses*

Bestf, just one more chance and I'll make things right. I miss you. Alot, alot, alot, alot, alot! Come back soon!

Look beyond the horizon.

MARTHA!

12:28 am

hahahhaha

Saturday, June 19, 2010 9:33 pm

shoo

listen, ♥You're not worth my tears and heartache.

Friday, June 18, 2010 11:28 pm

cupcake

listen, ♥SOMEONE'S BEING PETTY. I WONDER WHO. :P

Concluded: Once a heartbreaker, always a heartbreaker.

Hearts don't burst Silly! Capillaries leading the the heart do. That's when one gets heart attack! EAT THAT! :P

I know I'm mean, but you're equally mean. :D

2:04 am

bleah

listen, ♥I decided to do without a tagboard cause I always receive weird comments.

GOODNIGHT!

xoxo,
MARTHA!

1:50 am

YAY!

listen, ♥Gosh, Blogger attempted to take 242545 seconds to upload a picture and I decided to do without it. (:

GUESS WHAT, GUESS WHAT, GUESS WHAT!

I'm done with Lit. (: and yes, all 4 books! :D

I'm a happy girl for the next 5 minutes and I need to sleep now. Physio in a few hours time. /: I swear I'm dead tired and I wanna give it a miss but ): I cannot!

Gonna study again tomorrow before Mummy's birthday celebration! :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY! :D
ILOVEYOU! :D

xoxo,
MARTHA!

Thursday, June 17, 2010 10:42 pm

today

listen, ♥
It seems like forever.

Hi,

Today I laughed because Cupcake showed me a funny video. I think Kumar is so cool, I want to make shim my friend.

Today I didn't do much because I was distracted by so many things. /:

Today I wil complete Literature so that I don't have to worry so much about it. (:

I still have so much to catch up with, I'm so afraid. ):

I will survive.

Strawberry shortcake, blueberry pie.

MARTHA!

12:17 am

mydaysarescrewed,canyoufeelmypain

listen, ♥
Some day, you'll come to understand.

I know it's my fault that I keep things to myself all the time. I know it's my fault that you don't really understand me. I know it's my fault that I don't try to interact and choose to be anti-social. I know it's my fault when I sulk and am unhappy. I know it's my fault when I don't seem to care.

It's one of those I-feel-depressed moments. It's one of those Screw-my-life moments. It's one of those You-can-screw-the-wall-now moments. It's one of those Get-out-of-my-way moments. It's one of those Just-do-your-own-work-and-not-annoy-me moments.

I wish I could take away all the pain that you're feeling deep down inside but I cannot because I'm in as much pain as you are. I wish I could make things better but I cannot, because I don't wanna force myself to smile and be happy when I'm not. I wish I could be a better person but I cannot because I'm brought up this way. I wish I could smile and be happy all the time but I don't wana lie to myself because it's stupid to suppress my feelings. I wish I could be the person I was before, but things have changed and I can no longer pursue my dreams like I've always wished for.

I feel more than just depressed. I feel as though I can die without regrets right now. I feel that I'm better off dead. I feel that I'm more than worthless. I feel insecure. /:

I'm screwing up my own life and I'm sorry if I've let you down. BestFriend, come take away my pain. I believe I've had enough. Life's so worthless without you around. ):

Cause you put on quite a show.

MARTHA!

Monday, June 14, 2010 12:30 am

stewpeed

listen, ♥You ask for a chance and I ask for my freedom.

Where were you when I needed you most? No where, so just stay wherever you are and never come back!

Sunday, June 13, 2010 8:52 pm

please

listen, ♥Would you let me remember all the beautiful times we shared than to hate you for all that you are putting me through?

Saturday, June 12, 2010 12:19 pm

annoying

listen, ♥I love my Cupcake cause she never fails to make me wait like a dog. -.-

Friday, June 11, 2010 10:53 pm

postman

listen, ♥You don't beg for chance one after another when you are the one who let me down first.

I'm not being unfair or cruel, life is. And it is not for you to decide on what I want to do. It's my life. Which part of it do you not understand?

10:49 pm

boring

listen, ♥I've dedicated my whole holiday to mugging for Promos. I'm praying hard that my efforts would pay off.

I know I'm not a super genius and at the rate I'm going, I might have to mug every second of my life. But trust me when I say I'm trying cause no one knows how hard I am.

Please make my every effort count. I'm begging you.

Thursday, June 10, 2010 9:24 pm

random

listen, ♥If one day you wake up and find that you're missing me.

Saturday, June 05, 2010 11:09 pm

cry

listen, ♥I haven't cried in quite some time.

The first drop was for all the things that I did in vain.

The second drop was for the betrayal I felt.

We are a family, which part of it do you not understand?

1:32 pm

fuck

listen, ♥What is a family when all we do is quarrel and fight or persecute one another? Enlighten me please.

Am I not doing my best for this family? What more do you want from me?

11:58 am

family

listen, ♥I'll do whatever it take to keep us going.

No matter how much I say I hate you, you're irreplacable cause you've been there for me ALL MY LIFE. And without any of you, I wouldn't be complete.

I promise to do my best and give it my all, just to prove my worth.

11:58 am

naqeah

listen, ♥I've been sitting at Bugis, waiting for Naqeah to come since 1115am and it's almost an hour. I wanna kick her so badly! >:(

11:56 am

);

listen, ♥Have you ever felt your heart ripping but cannot seem to find a reason to it?

Have you ever worked so hard for something but later find out that it's an impossible dream that you have?

Have you ever bled, just to know that you're alive?

Wednesday, June 02, 2010 7:16 pm

/:

listen, ♥Happy Birthday Daddy!

I'm sorry but somehow I'm slowly beginning to hate this family.

I love you Daddy!

5:58 pm

life

listen, ♥You know very well the struggles of life, but you do nothing to redress it. So is it our fault?

Why must you always vent your anger on us when it is your fault and now ours? Why must we always take the blame for you? Why do you not fucking learn from your mistake? Why do you not fucking understand our kind intentions?

Sometimes, I don't understand what I fucking did to receive this kind of treatment from someone so dear to me. Just tell me what the you want from me. If it is my life, then take it.

Tuesday, June 01, 2010 11:44 am

hehehe

listen, ♥Almost there Voda. 3 more stops. (: