Monday, August 30, 2010 11:53 pm

cupcake

listen, ♥Baby,

You know that life wouldn't always go your way and that you'll struggle at different points. But never ever forget that you've got my back and I'll always be there for you when you need someone.

You know how important you are. You know how much I care.

Please stop being unhappy. They'll be a way out some how and we'll figure something out okay?

It's okay if you decide to let go, just don't lost focus. Set your target right, aim, and go for it.

I know it's easier said than done but you know I love you.

Xoxo,

12:53 am

bahblahgah

Sunday, August 29, 2010 4:12 pm

headache

listen, ♥Having a terrible headache that just wouldn't go away no matter what I do. /: I feel so tormented, yet I don't know what to do. Been having this headache so frequently, I feel like chopping my head off. /:

Yesterday was really productive. (: I studied GP and SEA History. (: Have to start on Economics, Literature and International History homework, but the headache just won't go away. ): Done with planning for Literature and introduction for International History. Haven't touched Economics and I'm screwed. Have to continue editting Written Report too. /:

So much to do in so little time. I hope the night never pass so I can get more things done. Am going to read up on Biology before heading to bed. I must stop being lazy! I must push myself as hard as I can. I must survive this whole lot of crap and I will.

One thing's for sure - you mean equally as much. (:

Friday, August 27, 2010 9:48 pm

smilelikeyoumeanit

listen, ♥Study. Bus rides. Lunch. Bus ride. Stationary shopping. Walk around. Home.

Sounds so boring yet they mean so much to me in special little ways. (: Thank you for spending to much time with me and for always being there. (:

Yes, I may sulk alot because you haven't been very nice but you know I love you. :D I'm so nice. :P

Press the jealousy button.

Need to start studying. General Paper. Biology. History. Literature. Economics. Chinese.

Thursday, August 26, 2010 11:36 pm

pretend

Wednesday, August 25, 2010 10:37 pm

broken

listen, ♥You don't know what it's like to be like me. To be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark. To be kicked, when you're down. To feel like you've been pushed around. Now you don't know what it's like, welcome to my life.

9:18 pm

mix&match

listen, ♥Hate Facebook's new layout on Mobile Web. /: Shall not visit Facebook so often. /:

Started my day with a sulk but ended it with a big smile. Thank you so much! (: You know I love you. (:

School sucked, hated it so much but you made it better with your smile. (: Thanks for everything. My heart's with Bestf, you can have my soul, lol. :P

Monday, August 23, 2010 10:52 pm

you&i,collide

listen, ♥When I say go, I never meant away.

Dear _____,

Pardon my ignorance and inability to convey my thoughts and feelings the right way. I am thankful that you'll always be there and I will cherish you, all the days of my life because you're worth it.

Love,
Martha

8:42 am

blah

listen, ♥With big fake smiles and stupid lies while deep inside you're bleeding.

Friday, August 20, 2010 11:18 pm

awesome

listen, ♥Loved everything about today although I went through a rough morning. Many thanks for bringing me back to reality and I'm sorry if I threw a bitch fit here and there. Thank you for spending so much time with me today, I enjoyed myself so much. (:

Finally, a productive day of learning. Studied GP and I have to continue tomorrow before studying for Econs. So much work to do, I have to be on task! Determined for now. (:

Thursday, August 19, 2010 11:38 pm

mixed

Wednesday, August 18, 2010 11:10 pm

waitforthemorningsunlight

8:20 pm

fortitude

listen, ♥Life is not about feeling good, nor is it about doing good.

In truth, there will be times when each person, including myself, will not feel like doing either. But virtues like fortitude remain relevant today becayse they help us look to things larger and higher than ourselves. And that is what every human being today needs.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010 11:43 pm

whatever

4:22 pm

trust

Monday, August 16, 2010 11:15 pm

cupcake

listen, ♥Life's good, as long as I have you. (:

Thank you for today though it wasn't productive and stuff but I finally got to spend ample time with you. (:

Love you! :D

Xoxo,
MARTHA!

11:12 pm

fml

listen, ♥You use to be that important, but no longer and I cannot seem to be able to explain why. You use to be the center of my life, my pillar of support but you're no longere here now. Things just have to go wrong doesn't it?

And you, if you have nothing better to do, just shut the shit hole mouth of yours. Hate you and your pretence. Complete moron. Go screw the wall if you have nothing nice to say.

Revenge, sweet revenge. You'll come my way. (:

Sunday, August 15, 2010 11:11 pm

gahhhhh

listen, ♥I need to wake up early to do my work cause I've been so lazy and incompetant.

I need to work on Biology and EOM before I get even more pissed at myself for not doing anything.

I need to wake up no matter to get my work done cause I haven't done no shit and I don't deserve the break.

4:29 pm

lord

listen, ♥Dear Lord,

Please give me the courage and strength to pull through all these.

Amen.

2:04 pm

andy

12:38 am

joke

listen, ♥YOUR MUM IS SO FUNNY, I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING AND I'M READING THE TEXT OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

NANNY THINKS I'M GOING CRAZY AND SO IS MY BROTHER WHO JUST CAME HOME AND MY AUNTY WHOSE OUTSIDE AND SNOOPY WHOSE STARING AT ME CAUSE I'M THE ONLY ONE LAUGHING.

OMG, I NEED TO SLEEP BUT I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING!

Saturday, August 14, 2010 11:28 pm

itslikeanangelcameby

listen, ♥Everything I do, I do it for you.

Thank you for the Cookie Monster, I love it. (: I'll bring it to school just for you okay?! :D

Now that I know how to get to Khatib, I shall do this more often. You're always at the other side of the world and it's not fair to always make you travel and so, I'll do the honor. I'm so nice please. You should treat me better. (:

Yew Tee, Choa Chu Kang, Bukit Gombak, Bukit Batok. I'm so tired, I can sleep in the train.

1:48 pm

(:

12:41 pm

GP

listen, ♥HOT FUDGE! LESS THAN 3 WEEKS TO GP EXAM!

Friday, August 13, 2010 10:13 pm

(:

listen, ♥Time spent with you is always never boring. Thank you for making me laugh like crazy cause you cannot stop whining. :P

I hope you had a good time as much as I did. (: The bus ride was such a torture but thank you for lending me your shoulder and I'm sorry for being a cow and scaring you time and again. (x

Dead tired now. /:

1:28 am

finally

Thursday, August 12, 2010 11:53 pm

tiredddd

listen, ♥Blogger loves being a bitch at night, I swear. Whatever. *roll eyes*

10:02 pm

gratitude

2:00 pm

/:

listen, ♥Good things in life are hard to find.

Hate school, hate school, hate school.
Hate all events and activities. /:

Need to start being productive. Need to stop being nice.

Cause you and I know how bad things are. Cause you and I know we need a break from life. Cause you and I know we need to find that certain meaning in life.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010 5:17 pm

hmm

listen, ♥Maybe I'm being sensitive and making a mountain out of a mole hill. Maybe things ain't as bad as I perceive it is. Maybe I just cannot face the truth.

School sucked, every part of it. I didn't have the time and mood to think and reflect. Love and Cupcake weren't in school. Swear I hate school, every single part of it.

Miss Tanglin so much. Miss all the fun and laughter. Miss your never ending text to make my day better. Miss everything about you.

Time to move on, and to stop hanging on. Maybe, it isn't worth it right from the start. /: Time to forget you, time to be brave and strong, time to move on and never look back.

Life's not beautiful, neither is it meaningless. Find that special someone, find meaning, listen to the truth, nothing but the truth. That's beautiful enough.

There's a hole on my finger, looks dumb. /: Stupid thing.

Hope you're feeling better. (:

5:24 am

promise

listen, ♥A promise is a promise and I'll never go back on my words, even if I'm tempted to do it.

That's how much you mean to me. That's how much I'm willing to go through for you.

Mental block, mental retardation, mental shut down.

I'll do anything, just to see you happy and smile cause YOU MEAN THAT MUCH TO ME.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010 11:04 pm

tanglin

listen, ♥After reading the whole file of essays I wrote in Secondary school, I'm begin to wonder if I'm in JC or Primary school all over again. I miss Tanglin so so much! I wish I could rewind time and never grow up. I've grown so attatched to Tanglin that I never wanted to be a part of MI. I hate MI so much! It's more like a disgrace than something to flaunt about, especially with such crap to deal with day in and out. Sometimes I really wonder, am I in Primary school or JC cause the way in which I see people, makes me think as though they're 8 or 9, not 18 or 19 and it scares me. It really does and I don't know what to say.

I miss the whole 5 years I spent in Tanglin. The day always went by so quickly and I look forward to going to school all the time, unlike now. I dread even waking up and the thought of wearing the uniform scares me. Tanglin was so far but I would gladly sacrifice my sleep to go to school. I would gladly wake up for morning run where all the rest stayed so near school. I would do anything for Tanglin. And now with the school within my reach, I find myself reluctant and indignant. I hate school, every single part of it! ):

I miss 1n2 so much. I miss how Mdm Lee would take her plastic luminous ruler and run after us on the first floor and how we'll scream and run around, making a scene and laughing at Mdm Lee eventually cause she cannot out run any of us. I remember how I got into deep shit and had to visit the Principal's office ever so regularly. I remember how I use to terrorize Jackie and his clique and I miss how Benjamin would never stop singing his stupid songs that never made sense. I miss his jang jang and his thank yous after every song cause that's the way her is - thick skin. I admired how he could speak both Malay and Chinese so fluently and how the whole class bullied Roy. It was mean yet funny and I enjoyed myself so much. That was then. ):

I miss 2n2, the biggest class I was ever in. The weird people entering because they didn't do well in express and those who made it to NA from NT. I miss Bestf and how she use to rock my life. I miss Mrs Jacob and her calling us fools! Haha, it was so epic! I miss how she'll always make us feel that there is more to life than what we are in. And I love how she never fails to encourage us when we need that little push. She inspired me so much that I would achieve Top 10 year after year because I wanna do her proud. I miss Ms Hing cause she never fail to stay back, just to teach me Math and to clear my doubts.

I miss 3n1, where we were all mixed and unfamiliar with one another. Yet, we could click so well. And I miss Jeffrey because he never fails to make me laugh. I miss how we could integrate within mere months and how we could put a smile on everyone's face and how we made Ms Kavitha cry. I remember how much I use to hate A Math but yet sit right infront of the class to text. It was so much fun then. I remembered how I almost fractured my right hand and suffered from a hairline crack thanks to Afiqah's pulling. So much for being in St John's. Haha, but I still enjoyed every moment of it and how people came knocking on my home door, just to see if I'm okay. I miss Laogong. ): I miss Andy, just a little.

I miss 4n1 so much! I miss how we all studied together for exams and tried to help each other in areas where we were unfamiliar and how happy we were that N levels was over. I remember how sad we were during Prelims and how happy we eventually were after receiving our results cause we did way better and I was so proud of myself. I miss the whole bunch of people who didn't make it cause they rocked - Weixiong, Songyeow, Xueting, Eugene, Leon and Jeffrey. I swear! I miss Mr Lee and how he motivated me to do well for Math. I miss Sister Agatha, I swear she is an angel and I hope she's doing good. (: I miss how Sister never failed to pamper me and treated me better than anyone else. I miss you so much Sister. I miss how you'll tell me to pray and say you'll pray for me day after day. You made me believe so much in myself, I couldn't doubt my abilities.

I miss 5n1 the most! It was the best time ever in Secondary School and how we made teachers cry year after year! I miss Mrs Zamree and how she use to scream at us for being naughty and receiving complains. I miss Ms Manjit who never fails to threaten me cause of my handwriting. I miss Mrs Sulaiman and Mrs Cheng cause they never fail to compliment me. I'm so thick skin, I know. I miss Ms Solastri despite her sarcastic remarks and how she would compliment me infront of the class for a well written report writing. I miss receiving compliment from teachers. ): I miss Mr Tan and how he never fails to make me feel worthwhile and how he can spend hours just teaching me one question until I understood what is going on. His perseverance touched me and I knew I couldn't let him down. Despite the crazy year and the breaking down in the first term, I climbed up all over again and did my best.

I miss Kevin and his gang. I miss J. I miss Laogong. I miss 5n1 o8' so much! ):

I miss Team Tanglin Track and Field. I miss every single person in there, whether I talk to them or not. Whether they hate me or not, I miss them! I miss Mr Tham and how he motivates me to do my best. I miss how he'll scold me for noing my meals on time and for skipping them. I miss how he knows when I'm feeling stress and when I'm not. I miss how he never fails to stand by me and helps me whenever I need someone. I miss how he'll make me cry cause he knows that's the best way I relief my stress and to make me feel better.

I miss Tanglin so much. There's so much memories which I have yet to forget. Time spent there was never hell or sorrow. It was more like sunshine after rain.

I miss how I can skip class any day and just smile and pretend the next time and Ms Zamree saying "It's not an offical holiday Martha. I know you're studying at home, but you need your attendance."

I miss Mrs Oei despite her being a bitch! I miss Prom Night where we all looked so stunning. I miss you, everything about you! I miss you Bestf!

12:13 pm

):

11:23 am

dumb

Monday, August 09, 2010 1:22 am

thankyou

12:24 am

broken

Sunday, August 08, 2010 11:37 pm

whatever

Saturday, August 07, 2010 11:34 pm

rionang

listen, ♥OH MY GOSH! YOU'RE SUCH A DISGUSTING TEACHER THAT I WANT TO SPIT ON YOUR FACE, I SWEAR! YOU SHOULD LIKE ROLL ON THE FLOOR OVER AND OVER. YOU CAN JUMP OFF THE HIGHEST BUILDING IN SINGAPORE OR THE WORLD AND DIE. NOTHING WOULD ERASE THE FACT THAT YOU'RE USELESS AND INCOMPETENT.

8:28 pm

yesterday

7:49 am

zzzzzzzz

listen, ♥Just one stupid wrong move and everything's deleted. /:

Should stop doing stupid things, especially when I'm half awake. /:

7 months of memories GONE. ):

Thursday, August 05, 2010 10:57 pm

sorry

listen, ♥I'm sorry for throwing a bitch fit at you earlier on. I know it's just an excuse to say that I was affected because of someone else. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know I never meant for such things to happen.

It's just that so much was running through my head that when you called out, my instant reaction was to snap. It's like a trigger being pulled and I'm still sorry. For my actions that have cause you to reproach yourself. It wasn't your fault at all, it was mine. And I'm really sorry.

Nevertheless, I cannot wait for tomorrow. (: I hope you're feeling the same! (: It's before 11pm so I'm safe. :P Goodnight. (:

5:15 pm

worth

listen, ♥There are times when we feel that letting go is the easiest thing to do but when we stop to ponder upon what we have thought about, we begin to doubt our self-worth and think that life is no longer worth the living.

Wednesday, August 04, 2010 11:10 pm

iwillsurvive

listen, ♥I'm stronger than these bitches who think they're really awesome. I'll get over this. I'll come back stronger before. And I'll push you to the fires of hell some day.

You have no idea how much I hate you and want to see you dead. You have no idea how much I wish you'll never appear in my life ever again.

Hate you, you and you! Really do. Stop your pretence cause it only makes you look like a cow, not a gracious one at least.

Stay further away, I'm serious!

Tuesday, August 03, 2010 10:38 pm

bestf

listen, ♥Where's the Milo you promise to make whenever I have gastric. ): I miss you Bestf!

7:36 pm

sigh

6:57 pm

cuppycake

listen, ♥If you mean nothing, I wouldn't have bothered about anything you've said.

9:23 am

gahhhh

listen, ♥Nothing last forever. I'm sorry I can't be, perfect.

Now it's just too late, and I can't hold back.

Monday, August 02, 2010 10:50 pm

tired

listen, ♥I'm so tired of what life is putting me through. Maybe I should just fucking shut up and move on with my damn life and stop looking back to embrace those moments I deem awesome.

I'm so sick and tired of pretending that I'm okay when I'm actually not and I hate the fact that I'm not honest enough to say that I'm not okay and that I feel like crumbling and dying every second of my life.

And now I'm questioning not only myself but my integrity. Maybe, I'm not even fit to be human. I hate myself more than my life and I wish you'll just take me away cause I'm tired of crying myself to sleep night after night, knowing you'll never come back again.

6:56 pm

something

listen, ♥You know how badly you want something when you ...

Sunday, August 01, 2010 6:12 pm

everything