Not as easy as it looks

In the midst of the grief of loosing W's dad, we are also being thrown a loop on the feeding front. Baby J is latching, in fact, he has a great latch and W's body is built for nursing (supply and shape-wise). But there is a disconnect on the sucking/swallow front. J will suck-suck-suck but isn't pulling milk, so after 20 minutes of nursing may only be getting .3 of an ounce. Queue less then ideal weight gain -- and the stress of a pump-pump-pump-pump schedule and the feel of failure associated with supplemental formula feedings.

Maybe its tongue-tie (going to see a specialist tomorrow) or more of a developmental issue that will resolve when he is bigger and stronger, but whatever it is, it has meant that we have been bottle feeding (bottle washing, bottle drying) -- and as W said, she didnt "sit" shiva, she "pumped" shiva all last week.

I know these issues will revolve themselves - or they wont -- and we look back at this time in 3 years as a minor blip. The boy is growing, and sleeping and seemingly happy, but while we are in the moment, it feels hard.

Saying hello and goodbye

Baby Js naming ceremony was Saturday morning, Ws dad passed away on Sunday morning. In the midst of the newborn haze (jaundice issues, gas, reflux?) there is also the crushing grief. We knew it was coming, and feel blessed that it happened quickly, peacefully and at home but it's still so so hard, especially when I think about izzy. Her favorite person in the whole wide world was her zayde.

He is here!

Born on February 28th, 11:16am, a hefty 9.73lbs and 21.5 in.

W is a rockstar, it was a long labor that started on his due date (Wednesday night) with hours (and hours) of pre-labor but ended with only 23 minutes of pushing

Due Date

Here we are at our due date with NADA. We saw the midwife yesterday and she pronounced W's cervix as "non-laboring" - she was 1 cm dilated (yeah, membrane sweep!) but still quite long and high. hmmm.

We are both so excited to meet this little guy and W grows increasingly uncomfortable, but we are trying to stay relaxed or "zen" as my mom would say. Speaking of my mom, she arrived on Saturday night to help out with Izzy, no and during labor (tick-tock). Its fantastic to have an extra pair of hands, Izzy loves the new audience and my mom is in heaven spending so much time with her - so its a win-win-win.

Induction scheduled for next Wednesday -- another weeks feels so.far.away, but this is just one more reminder that kids are unpredictable, so there you go, little bug.

9 days.....

The title of a previous post from one of my favorite bloggers played in my head all weekend - is this our last weekend as a family of 3? W is 28w5d, with no signs of labor so my guess is "no" but..who knows.

Izzy continues to delight (and frustrate) us with her sense of humor and "spirited" commentary on the world and sadly, W's father continues to battle with illness so we have had our plates full, but we are ready for them to be even fuller. I cant wait to meet this little guy that I feel brushing up against my hand when I "knock" on W's belly. I lay in bed on Saturday morning for an hour reading the New Yorker and thought how different life will be in a few (?) days -- and we are ready -- and excited!

Cooked!

• We are 37 weeks - fully cooked but likely staying put for a few more weeks
• We are getting a snow dump today (so beautiful) and thank goodness Izzy is with her grandparents on Wednesdays so W and I can crank through the mountains of work we want to get through in the next 3 weeks
• Izzy has decided that she will NOT be vacating her crib anytime soon - she is not interested at.all in her big-girl room/bed
• We have been incredibly busy as of late (see "mountains of work") but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and we are in full *nesting* mode
• (re)considering nursing - any thoughts/experiences with non-gestational nursing? Ive read of some success of moms who were previous nursers inducing lactation just through stimulation -- thinking I might give it a try to supplement/share the load
• getting excited to meet this little guy (who still doesn't have a name)
• ...oh ya, and Izzy turned 3!

Busy busy

It's been nearly a month since my last post; sorry for the long hiatus. It's not that I don't have any updates but that we have been busy beyond belief. I've been swamped at work. Throw in a few work trips to DC, and a wedding for one of my best friends last weekend (travelled solo to park city) as well as the normal holiday chaos and... Well, there you have it.

W is a champ, acting as a single parent, during a two week school vacation (extended due to polar vortex) while 30+ weeks pregnant it's NOT fun. But we are on the down hill slop. All of my pre-baby travel is over and my work is settling back to normal just as we hit 34 weeks. Ws pregnancy has been so different than mine. I was getting biweekly ultrasound by 28 weeks to check on izzys heart, while we haven't seen this little guy since the 18 week anatomy scan. I spent Xmas in the ER due to severe dehydration that we thought were contractions, while W is soldering on, a bit more uncomfortable but doing well by all measures of a 'normal' pregnancy. The biggest difference, of course the biggest difference is that we have a toddler to distract us from our excitement of waiting for this new baby. Izzy turns 3 in a month but, wow, 3 is hard. The highs are higher for sure but the struggles are harder too. Spirited, stubborn and vocal are qualities that swing both ways. She has had a STRONG preference for w almost since w got pregnant and my work schedule has only exacerbated it, meaning that even when we are both around she is constantly asking w's for attention. She is really excited to be a big sister but I know it's going to be a rocky transition. The move to her big girl room with big girl bed (stated in November) has completely stalled out --and we have just let it.

In the midst of all of this, Ws fathers cancer continues to spread and we are worried about what the next year holds. We are also (crazily?) embarking on a remodel, because tearing a wall off the house for an addition while at home with a newborn sounds ideal, right? So yes. A lot of unknowns. But, despite this, we are feeling so lucky to be where we are and can't wait to meet this little guy in 6 weeks!