Occasionally, we all have crazy friends who hijack our status threads and make it into a total bizarre laugh fest. The most recent one on mine is too good not to capture into a blog post. Please put on your helmets and try not to lose too many brain cells along the way. It's a long read but... hope you enjoy this as much as I did!
Note: All names have been changed to protect the identity of the crazies and most colloquial (Malaysian English a.k.a. Manglish) terms have been corrected (or its context explained quite literally) for easy reading in normal Internet English + chatspeak.
The Status Update:
I miss my little car!!! She was checked in for some "Corrective Cosmetic Surgery" since Monday... Can't wait to see it back at home in about a week's time...
The comments thread:
Crazy Devil: Define some...
Me: Need to knock out a major dent courtesy of mum closing electronic gate by accident when I was exiting the house and basically repaint the whole car - the color is patchy all around the car; change a broken light; bumper clip needs to be remounted (one of it came off); locking system a bit wonky; one door switch is not working (so my car thinks that door is open all the time).
Crazy Devil: Thats "some" alright :P...So she's be brand spanking new eh :D
Me: Oh and I forgot - one of the power windows are not moo-ving... lol... it's jammed
Crazy Devil: eh..u pakai proton isit? tat 1 super well known problem wan. i changed mine dunno how many times sure got issue wan...
*Proton: Local car manufacturer brand
Me: yes... it's a "potong" lol
*Potong: to cut or slash (implying here on price/quality)
Crazy Devil: potong????? mini ka :P
Me: almost not quite.. potongsagaiswara :P
I meant to say Proton Saga Iswara (the car make and model)
Crazy Devil: wahlaueh...tu terlalu canggih wan..lol
*wahlaueh: unbelievable | *tu terlalu canggih wan: that's too advanced
u purposely go cari wan isit:P
*go cari: went to find
Me: the one i hv sumore is wannabe sports car... interior black color.. with red trimmings... and exhaust that is very noisy for a small fart car.... produced from zaman tengkoooooo mahaleeeeel
*Zaman tengkoooooo mahaleeeeel: Era of a certain previous CEO of Proton
Crazy Devil: fuhyoh!... ni mesti wannabe knight rider doing drift :P
*fuhyoh!: A general expression of awe | *ni mesti: this must be
Me: it was the cheapest option at that time for a new car ler... so it is a potong harga wannabe big sports car
*potong harga: slashed price
Crazy Devil: terlalu banyak wannabe...all its missing is a new engine to make u "flying without wings" .. kekekke
*terlalu banyak: too much of
Me: that is why I describe my car as a "Wannabe" coz it's nowhere near it's more impressive sibling that we know as... Lotus
Crazy Devil: Tats like comparing shit w chocolate..just coz both same color dun mean the same thing..kikiki
Geeky Gamer: This... was a most fun read :)
Crazy Devil: this ain't nothing yet...
Me: janji she can take me from point A to point B is good for me already... she's still a healthy wannabe sports car
*janji: as long as
Crazy Devil: Now all u need to do is bling bling her up :D...put some red lights like tron :D
now TATS mega wannabe in-your-face kinda car! :D
Geeky Gamer: Or a DeLorean bodykit :P
Crazy Devil: We dun want her to go back in time, get stuck there, n we have to FIX the rundown car and go rescue her
AND...we need 1.21 Gigawatts..where are we gonna get tat kinda electricity
hmph
Me: OR Crazy Devil can bring back some Swarovski crystals... and lekat those buggers strategically on the car... let the glare blind those jokers that pasang those super bright HID lights... kekekekeke
*lekat: stick | *pasang: fix or install
Geeky Gamer: Hahaha 1.21 Gigawatts... need to find some terrorists with dirty nukes to rampas plutonium from :P
Crazy Devil: Swarovski tu terlebih la cik oi :P... but i agree in principle :D
*tu terlebih la cik oi: that's overdoing it missy
or we can get Mr. Fusion!! :D
Geeky Gamer: I ♥ Mr. Fusion :D
Me: who is that??????
Crazy Devil: I like sticking a lightning rod on the car and waiting for lightning to strike!! :D
He is DA MAN!!
Geeky Gamer: With a PLAN !! :)
Crazy Devil: riding in a VAN
Geeky Gamer: wielding a frying pan?
Crazy Devil: I wanted to say tat..huhuhuhuhu
opening a CAN
Me: frying pan reminds me of Rapunzel in tangled... lol
Geeky Gamer: with his electric FAN!
Crazy Devil: while he RAN
aewis, It reminds me of Hancock :P
Geeky Gamer: to the CAN! :D
Crazy Devil: and he kena BAN
*kena: was
Geeky Gamer: in the month of JAN :P
And I just realized I STILL haven't finished this assignment >.<
Crazy Devil: while going out with a TRAN
Assignments are BORING!!!
Geeky Gamer: I knooooooow :'(
Crazy Devil: Dun worry, keep it to the very last minute and tell ur boss the computer ate ur assignment :P
Me: oits!!! you two go start your own rhyming thread la.... sheesh... :P
Geeky Gamer: Assignment-eating cat is attacking me! Argh! >.<
Crazy Devil: no1 buys tat story, cats are too lazy to do anything. aewis, we are the hijackers, sailing the threaded seas :P
Me: assignment is not for his boss... he's taking degree classes... lol...
ye pirates!!!!!!!
Geeky Gamer: *puts on eye patch* Arrrrrrr
Crazy Devil: *finds a parrot*
tell the pirates stole the assignment coz it was the long lost map to the treasures of the seven seas :D
Geeky Gamer: Hmmmmmmmmmmmm
Crazy Devil: dem pirates be stealing assignments from ye like stealing candies from babies...
Geeky Gamer: Durned pirates!
Crazy Devil: off wit their heads!!!
Me: that's marie antoinette la.... u should say WALK THE PLANK YE SCALLYWAG!!
Crazy Devil: oops..my bad..:P the idea of chopping their heads sounded much better in my head :P
Geeky Gamer: Walk the plank until you reach the guillotine!
Crazy Devil: nahh..walk the plank and meet the fricking sharks..with fricking LASERS!!!!
Geeky Gamer: So who prods them across the plank? Bear cavalry?
Crazy Devil: the CARE BEARS!! :P
Blog Stalker: o_O? there's something seriously not right with these 2..
and why is it called the 7 seas when they're named oceans?
Crazy Devil: We're definitely not right in the head :P..And its easier to say 7 seas than to name them all..we pirates are damn lazy otherwise we'd get actual jobs :P
Geeky Gamer: Yaarrrr!
Blog Stalker: all things considered, i suggest ye two get career guidance.. a DVD pirate makes more money that yous these days lar wei.. :P
Crazy Devil: But we get to ride in SHIPS :D..and have parrots, and talk funny, wait that talking funny part we can do in marketing so no go...but we get to ride in SHIPS!! :D
Geeky Gamer: And funky names... don't forget the funky names :P
Sweetie: Excited le
Crazy Devil: Ohh yea, we get cool names like CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, he has a BIRD in his name :P
Me: Sweetie, are you reading what they've been writing? I cannot stop laughing at these 2 clowns and what they come up with ^_^
Crazy Devil: Clown pirates?! Now that just WRONG...Whack those clowns...freaky ass bastards..
Blog Stalker: err.. you do know there's THE SHIP rest. in feringghi there that you can ride rite? Oh, and you can get food there to.. not just fish.. or squid.. or clam..
Crazy Devil: Pfft...u gotta pay LOTSA moola there. With OUR fish, we take wat we want :D
Me: Steak!!!! Give us the steak!!!
Geeky Gamer: That wan is retired ship, we pirates prefer the sailing kind that includes plundering and pillaging :D
Crazy Devil: U can have the steak when u pry it from HIS cold dead fingers..*pirates honor*
Geeky Gamer: And parrots..never forget the parrrots
or monkeys...they're equally annoying too
Blog Stalker: Ship STEAK FTW!
Oh yeah, and pirates now get shot on sight in thailand and indonesia.. so that limits your plundering & pillaging to.. hmm.. balik pulau coastline?
Crazy Devil: We oni stick to the Carribeans where there's ..STUFF :P
Geeky Gamer: Oh yeah... and Sir Francis Drake, Captain Kidd and Black Bart :)
Link to the pirate's code
Crazy Devil: And you get to wear cool ass shirts, with swords!! :D
Us pirates REALLY like "plundering" and "pillaging"
Geeky Gamer: In case anyone is interested in our common ancestry: List of Pirates
Crazy Devil: AND we have our own international day, so tat settles it :D
Blog Stalker: Pirates code? Bah, you fail on even post codes..
Hmm.. This somehow reminds me of Monkey Island now.. So, who's Threepwood?
Geeky Gamer: I'm sleeeeeepy >.<
Crazy Devil: Pirates live on seas, we dun need no stinkin postcodes :D
Geeky Gamer: Ask E'lynn Marley :P
Blog Stalker: In the interest of fairness though, just what ARE your pirate names do pray tell...
Crazy Devil: Geeky Gamer is high on rum
Geeky Gamer: Rum! Arrrrrrr!!
Crazy Devil: Thread Jacker
Blog Stalker: Geeky Gamer, Drinking alcohol? Ha! Now that's a scene worth recording on phone with mediocre quality cam and then distributing said video to multiple anonymous persons within the office premises.. :P
Crazy Devil: Challenge accepted!!
Blog Stalker: Have you actually seen what happens when he drinks..? even very minute amounts of alcohol-ized beverages?
Crazy Devil: Actually, i've never even met him :P
we're anonymous pirates..:D
Geeky Gamer: The best kind! :D
Me: Geeky Gamer will start giggling like a school girl... wakakakakakkaa
Crazy Devil: totally blonde :P
Ooo...now u've piqued my curiosity indeed..*begins plotting*
Geeky Gamer: Blonde giggling anonymous pirate school girl... that's gotta be a first
Crazy Devil: and SOO wrong in SOO many ways...
Geeky Gamer: lol!
Blog Stalker: LoL.. Well then, I beset upon thee Thread Jacker the Anonymous the quest of getting said person to consume limited amounts of any alcoholic beverage of thy choosing and from thus capturing said event on a digital image preservation device of thy choosing~ :P
Crazy Devil: this is NOT the pirate you're looking for
Assuming said pirate accepts such a request, what's in it for the pirate in question, savy
Blog Stalker: A pint of the same beverage, from the coldest powered temperature lowering boxes this side of the high seas...
Crazy Devil: meh..its a start
we need to go to Koh Phnagan for our monthly pirates meet :D
when yonder moon be at its fullest
Blog Stalker: well, it's not that much of quest anyway.. you could just spike his drink with sugar and get the same effect..
Crazy Devil: gah!!..u have ruined my perfectly planned vacation..err i mean plot, you will pay!! i accept visa or mastercard
Blog Stalker: What, no AMEX? Racist~!
Crazy Devil: AMEX is for wimps..or those little ppl in watchamacallitland
Blog Stalker: Bah, there wouldn't be pirates if it weren't for the great united (somewhat) states of americaland.. We invented pirating! Just check out our state and road names!
err.. I mean they.. :P
Crazy Devil: ur SUCH an ameriCAN.. we think they're ameriCAN'T...
those wussy dodos couldn't catch the pirates if we were sleeping in front of them :P
Blog Stalker: Malaysia Boleh~ Majulah sukan untuk negara!
Translation: Malaysia Can (Do It)! Let's advance in Sports for the Nation!
Crazy Devil: Semua pun boleh..including changing the teaching of languages every 2 years
*Semua pun boleh: Everything also can (be done)
but dun u DARE say anything bout our food
except KL food, they have nothing and everything tastes like CRAP
Blog Stalker: Isn't KL like the fast food capital of Malaysia? They have EVERY single fast food under the sun and then some..
Crazy Devil: and they all taste like CRAP!!...cept for those few places u get the extra serving of getting ur ass kicked from here to infinity
Blog Stalker: still, it's So Good~
Kinda ironic in a sense.. heh..
Crazy Devil: its soo good it can get u killed :P
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