Been Too Long...

In case you haven't heard, or have seen this sweet little widget to the right....John and I are expecting our first child!

We are both thrilled! Although, pregnancy has been a pretty wild experience for me. It's been a bit of an emotional roller coaster at times. People kind of expect you to be constantly happy and excited about having a baby. That's just impossible! Let me start from the beginning...

It all started on January 19th, 2013. John and I were in Charleston, apartment hunting. We had been hoping we'd find out if I was pregnant this weekend. I had bought some pregnancy tests on our way there. Saturday morning, I took the test...waiting patiently for the results, without telling John..I saw this.

Just so you know, this wasn't posted to Facebook. Only you blog readers get to see my pee stick! Muahaha!

At first, I was stunned. I suddenly was unable to read. What does 2 lines mean again?! Then I flew out of the hotel bathroom, jumped on the bed, and showed John! Hahaha! I wasn't about to keep that a secret for long. It was hard enough waiting to tell our family. Little did I know, but I was about 5 weeks pregnant when I took this test. CRAZY! Most people don't find out until 8 weeks or further along. So after my first Doctor's appointment, we told John's parents, and siblings. Then a week later we went to visit my parents in Panama City, and here's how we did it. It was Valentine's Day, so I bought a Valentine's Day card made out to grandparents. The reaction of my Dad not figuring it out is pretty hilarious.

                                          

We made it Facebook official on February 17th. So when does this roller coaster make it's first drop or spiral, you ask? Well, I have no idea WHEN it started. I was kinda in denial about being pregnant at first. Even after my first ultrasound, I couldn't believe it. Being 32 weeks pregnant now, and almost to the finish line, I think I'm still in a little bit of denial. Even with kicks and all. I still can't believe I'm having a baby, and I probably still won't believe it until he's born, and home with us. As it gets closer and closer to birth, I've really gotten emotional. One day I'll be excited and happy, and the next I am utterly terrified! I mean, this is a child I'm having. A human baby, that's going to be our responsibility. Will I be a good parent? Will I turn him into a spoiled brat? How do I make sure he is a good kid, and respects women? You finally realize, even after reading tons of information on the internet, and in books...that you have absolutely NO idea what you're doing. I don't know if I'm going to screw up. I don't know if this kid is going to be sweet. I don't know how many kids I'll have after him, but I'll tell you something. Last night. I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth, and looking at how big my belly has gotten, and the first thought that came to my head was, "I can't wait to meet this little baby. I can't wait to meet you, and learn your personality." I ordered a ton of baby stuff this week, so probably why I felt a little better last night. Anyway, I will reveal the name after he's born.

OCS Training Updates

OCS Class 04-13 (By Class Officer LT Montoya)

Class 04-13 is just one week from graduation! This past week the students had a chance to talk to junior officers from their respective communities and took classes regarding military law. The candidates also attended many graduation and drill practices to ready themselves for next week's events. On top of all this, class 04-13 continued to do an excellent job leading the regiment. They are very excited for next Wednesday when they will turn over all their regimental duties to 05-13 and just simply focus on graduation. This week ends in the student-staff challenge, a cookout where the candidates can interact with the staff in a relaxed environment and participate in many different athletic activities. We will see you all next week when your sons and daughters take the oath of office and are commissioned as the Navy's newest ensigns!

6 days till they graduate!

One...More...Week!

Love Is All You Need?

Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy.
There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you
in time - It's easy.

All you need is love, all you need is love, All you need is love, love, love is all you need. Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love. All you need is love, all you need is love 

The Beatles were asked to come up with a song containing a simple message to be understood by all nationalities. "It was an inspired song and they really wanted to give the world a message," said Brian Epstein. "The nice thing about it is that it cannot be misinterpreted. It is a clear message saying that love is everything."[5] According to journalist Jade Wright, "Lennon was fascinated by the power of slogans to unite people and never afraid to create art out of propaganda. When asked in 1971 whether songs like "Give Peace a Chance" and "Power to the People" were propaganda songs, he answered: 'Sure. So was All You Need Is Love. I'm a revolutionary artist. My art is dedicated to change.' - Via Wikipedia

However when you take the phrase out of context, and simply believe that love is all you need in marriage, you're kidding yourself. I know I've only been married almost 2 years, but it doesn't mean I can't express my feelings about it. I feel everyone needs to learn their own mistakes, but it doesn't mean you can't learn from other people's either. I had always wanted to get married. It was all in my plan. When I was 13 that plan diminished after my parents divorced. It was a very hard time for me, especially being in a church who really frowns upon divorce. It was embarrassing for me going to church every Sunday, knowing people were talking about my family, and my parents. I do not blame my parents for this anymore, I was gravely hurt, but I never felt that pain of thinking I did something wrong. I knew they weren't happy, and I saw them argue. That hurt me the most. By now, I've come to terms with it, and feel it was really the only thing that could happen. Like I said, people have to learn from their mistakes. I'm sure both my parents, regret things in their choices sometimes. I know they're both at peace now, as I am. I didn't quit going to church, because I don't go because of the people, I go because of the gospel. The Lord loves me and doesn't gossip about me, and he's why I'm going. :)

This trial in my life really helped me see people, and situations differently. I was more cautious about who I spent my time with, and it helped me decide what kind of man I wanted to marry, and I wouldn't settle for anything less. That's why we have hard times! They may suck, but if you have the right attitude, and supportive people in your life, they can make them so much easier.

When John proposed to me, I was ecstatic, just overjoyed! However, during the engagement I was terrified. I had freezing cold feet. I was so scared that our marriage would end up like my parents'. I became my 13 yr. old self again, and I struggled with it throughout the first year of marriage. I knew John was perfect for me, but was I perfect for him? As we're making it through our second year, my feelings have changed. I no longer have that fear.

I see a lot of girls with guys who are just so wrong for them. I read recently about someone's boyfriend who wanted her more tan. I hear about guys who tell their gfs that they couldn't be with them if they got fat. Even though they should have a look in the mirror themselves..just sayin'! I think to myself, no wonder these girls become man haters. I consider myself blessed, and thankful for it each day, especially when I hear about this stuff. I've had a lot of wonderful guy friends in my life. So, I've had some great examples of men, who have shown me they're not all jerks. Albeit, there are a ton of jerks out there, and that goes for the girls too.

I'm blessed to have found and married such an incredible man. He thinks I'm the most beautiful woman in the world, no matter how crappy I feel, he thinks I look prettier without makeup. He respects me, he supports me in everything I do, he appreciates me, and uplifts me, and makes me want to be a better person. He can't wait to be a father someday, and I know he's going to be an amazing one. What's not to love about that??
So my question is, is love...really all you need for a happy, and successful marriage? I feel respect, appreciation, support, AND love, are the perfect ingredients. A little humor always helps too. :)

It's the Final Countdown!

Yoohoo! I'm still here! *blows dust off of blog* Sorry for the lack in updates. I know you all have been just hanging on the edge of your seat.

My first thought when I came back to the blog, was "19 DAYS!? 19 DAYS!". That's right. Less than 3 weeks until the Navy gives me back my sweet John. :) I apologize for the lack in updates. Before Thanksgiving break, the class earned their cellphones back. So, I've been busy emailing, texting, and talking to John. He's doing very well. Today, he had to get a broken tooth removed, so lucky for him, he had a pretty relaxed day.

Here's an update from the Officer Training Command Newport FB page.

OCS Class 04-13 (By Class Officer LT Montoya)

Class 04-13 completed their 9th week of OCS training at Officer Training Command Newport and has entered into their third and final phase of training. The third phase of training focuses on "applied leadership". This entails the candidates taking what they have learned during the first eight weeks and putting it to practical use by leading the junior OCS classes in their daily evolutions. Wednesday morning the class participated in "Victory Run." Unfortunately, the weather did not support an actual 'run' but the students carried out the ceremony. This OCS ceremony signifies the transition from Officer Candidate Phase to Candidate Officer Phase. The candidates from the class were recognized for their individual achievements in academics, military training, and physical fitness. Furthermore, the Regimental billets were announced identifying the candidate's roles and responsibilities over the next three weeks. Now as leaders of the regiment, class 04-13's performance will now be based on the successes and failures of the junior OCS classes. These next few weeks will be invaluable in preparing for their naval careers. Only 3 short weeks until grad week festivities!

They also got to open their Candi-O(Candidate Officer) care packages on Wed. A CANDIO (Candidate Officer) box is a care package box that friends and family send to there LO’s during week 8. It is tradition that on the Wednesday of week 9 when your LO’s become CANDIO’s they are given these care packages filled with goodies that they love to eat and anything they ask for that they may need. Typically all they really want is food though.

These boxes are decorated on the inside, in some Navy/ Personal fashion making it a fun and meaningful arts and crafts project for friends and family and an awesome surprise for the new CANDIO’s as they do not know what’s inside.

Here's photos of the boxes I mailed John. I sent 3.

Contents of box #1: Cliff bars, mike & ikes, his new phone, picture frames, Cheez-its, and The Ensign mag. Box #2: Starburst, Skittles, sour gummy worms, tootsie rolls, orange slices, oreos, and twizzlers. Box #3: Beef jerkey, peanuts, and a variety of chips.

It put a huge grin on his face, but it's sure a shame that he had to have dental work just a couple of days later. :-( He'll have to wait I suppose, but he sure loves his new phone. An HTC Aria if anyone's curious. He's also been able to send me some photos. Here's a couple of him and his roommate in their summer whites, and winter blue uniforms.

That's the updates for now. I will try to post more often, and also about other things besides OCS. haha

God’s Hand in the Founding of America

"I look around me and find some very definite signs of the decay that is beginning to occur. Corruption, crime, dishonesty, immorality, pollution, laziness, devotion only to special interests—these are signs that precede the fall of great civilizations. We see so much evidence of these signs before our eyes. Yet I realize the promise that has been given to us in this great land of America. I also remember the prophecies concerning our great responsibilities to preserve that which we have been blessed with by God. The Lord has promised to sustain the truth in this land."

"Now let us go to the last poster, probably the most important to us, “America’s Future.” Today we are fortunate to live in a choice and promised land. It will remain free and blessed as long as its people remember the God who gave them life and this free land. We must remember that the family is the basic unit of a strong society. We are all part of God’s family; and as our Father, he expects us to build strong family units. It is in the family that the basic morality and righteousness should be taught that will keep America free. Each member of every family plays an important role in America. For several thousand years throughout this land the great fathers and mothers, the noble sons, the patriot sons, the choice daughters have forged America into what we have today. It is America’s conscience that has preserved her. America is beautiful only when she is good, when children are laughing in her streets, and love abounds in her families. Without this conscience, civilization crumbles, as it has before on this continent. We are all part of America’s future. Our job is to remember the lessons of the past, to patch up the mistakes and the sins of everything that has gone before. The place to start is within our own families; and as we have been counseled, “No success can compensate for failure in the home.” That’s where we want to leave these people who come and have an opportunity of hearing our message, the most important message that will be taught during America’s Bicentennial year."

An excerpt from a talk by Elder L. Tom Perry

Well, I'm All Grown Up Now

I might as well rename the blog, "John's OCS Journal". I haven't posted much about myself, so I felt the need to change that tonight. I don't know who reads this blog, considering I only have one follower. Thanks, Mama. :) I don't really care who reads this, because I find this easier to do than actually writing in my journal, as sad as that is. Even this I sometimes feel too lazy to do. It's a good thing I'm not planning to major in English, eh?

This week has been a bit of a roller coaster for me. I like to think I'm pretty good at hiding my emotions, except from the cats. People always misunderstand my expressions, and I've found that the only people who can truly see through me, are the ones that I see most often. John was always good at it, no matter how hard I tried, he can always tell. I always keep my emails, and letters positive to him, which can sometimes be challenging. I have 3 emotions about becoming a Navy spouse. Fear, Excitement, and Insecurity.

Let me explain my fears. I've never had family in the military. I no absolutely nothing about what we're getting ourselves into. Will I be a good, supportive spouse? Will I get so depressed from deployments, that I'll need to be medicated? Will John die on a submarine? How am I going to handle the lack of communication? These are just a few questions that have been running through my mind since John left for OCS. It's slowly been sinking in little by little.

Where's the excitement in all this fear? Lots, actually! It's the exciting things about the military life that keep me going. There's the benefits. Healthcare, dental care, housing, and the travel. I'll be experiencing things that I never really got to experience growing up. I LOVE traveling, and I love seeing new places. I lived in 4 different houses growing up, but they were in the same town. Also, my family was not wealthy growing up. We lived comfortably, and had clothes, and food, all necessities. We didn't have healthcare, I don't think I've ever been to the dentist in my life. I'm serious. So for me, being able to have these things now, when we're about to start a family of our own, just makes me feel good. Being able to live all around the country is very exciting to me. I get tired of living in the same place for too long, so I won't mind living like a gypsy...just a gypsy with health and dental care. These are truly blessings to me. I hate to hear about women who marry a sailor for the benefits. John is already working hard for us, he's the reason we're receiving these wonderful benefits. He's a wonderful man, and husband, and I love him for being such a responsible adult. I'm a blessed woman to have found such a great young man. I thank the Lord each morning and night.

Insecurities. I should have put this paragraph before the previous one, because talking about the pros made me feel really good. Now I have to think about my insecurities. Ech! I have never made friends with women easily. I have a lot of trust issues with them. When I was elementary school, it was easier, and of course I hated boys. Then I became a teenager, and learned that most girls are gossipy, catty little witches. After high school  and when I moved from home, I became friends with more guys. They're more laid-back, and I feel more comfortable with them. Unfortunately, they don't always take your friendship as JUST friendship. After I got married, I was scared! Now I couldn't really be friends with guys anymore. That was a complete no-no. What the heck am I going to do? Well, I've made a few friends now, but I'm still too scared to completely tear down my walls. I'm afraid to open my heart to these ladies. they're really nice too, but I just have horrible trust issues, and they just got worse as of 2 weeks ago. So now, I'm a Navy wife. The other wives are going to be my support system, and I'm extremely terrified. I'm going to be so awkward, they're going to think I'm a complete freak. I pray that I'll find at least one true friend, if that's all, just one in each area we live in.

So lately, this is all just bubbling around in my noggin, and making it super difficult to get a good nights sleep. Which is why I'm up as late as I am. Look at me. so scared to open up to some women, when I have just literally poured out my heart to random strangers on the internet. Maybe I am a complete freak.