I'm sitting up in bed, can't sleep, sick enough to miss work, so I thought I'd blog. My thoughts have been focused on the subject of deception for a couple days now. It was the theme of a lesson I was asked to teach spontaneously on Sunday, but it has also been a part of the conversations I've had with friends lately regarding relationships.
I've been somewhat withdrawn from the online community lately by choice. Sometimes the constant barrage of status updates and causes to care about and photos from the latest events in peoples' lives are overwhelming. I took a whole week off of Facebook and felt more free. Not spending time there gave me the opportunity to catch up on other pursuits and helped me to feel less concerned about how I am perceived by others. In fact, I recently read an article about How Facebook might be making us sadder. The idea is that perhaps we find ourselves comparing our level of happiness to others. This generally causes us to think that we are less happy than our friends and leaves us with the impression that we are lesser. Comparison is one of the quickest ways to feel terrible about ourselves. While I am not the kind of person who seeks mass approval, the fact that I even have a blog and a Facebook account says that I do care about what some people think and I would like to connect and even share ideas. My goal is to use this medium to enrich my life and to avoid deception.
Elder Bednar gave a talk a couple years ago called Things as They Really Are. It is a warning about the misuse of our time and our bodies. He directly connects our spiritual progression with the first gift we are given on earth: our physical body. Having a body helps us to learn many things we could not otherwise. As an institute teacher once told me, it is our "school" here in mortality. Through our body we learn to control our passions and appetites. We bring our body and spirit in harmony by being obedient to the commandments. It might seem odd to bring this subject up first when talking about deception, but our bodies are so important to becoming like God that Satan wants us to believe they are of little worth, simply a means to an end, and one of the ways he does this is by lessening the impact of reality. He can lead us to believe that the face we present online is more important than who we really are.
Let me just get on a soap box here for a second. As dating becomes more difficult due to various challenges, the last thing I want is to be deceived. I have tried online dating a few times and my overall feeling is that it is deceptive. Not all people have that motivation, and many do not mean to deceive, but it is a problem simply because of the format. Can you really get to know someone through a list of their likes, dislikes, and interests? It's not just about a photo being airbrushed or not; it's about really getting to know a person--and not just the good parts. Dating is not about tip-toeing around on egg shells and only presenting the aspects of yourself that others will like. On a similar note, it is also not just about what a person looks like. Clicking through hundreds of photos until you find one that makes you inclined to message that person is not only vain, it is judgmental.
Our Savior came to earth to bring us truth. He came in a simple form, as a humble man who did not attract the attention of others because of what He looked like, but because of who He was:
"...he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not." Isaiah 53:2-3
He never deceived anyone about who He was or what His purpose was. His intent came across so clearly through his actions and teachings that He inspired people to follow Him and learn from Him. Esteem is also an important word to consider, it means to love or respect. We can show our love and respect for the Savior by recognizing what He did for us and choosing to live our lives in a way that will lead us to Him. If we do not esteem ourselves as well, we cannot become like Him. In order to love ourselves and others, we have to see clearly. Deception will not aid us in this effort.
It is important to me to find the things that are true and authentic in this life, especially in my relationships, because they can continue with us forever. I want to live my life in a way that gives me freedom and hope. I strongly believe that I am helped to avoid deception by living the commandments and having the guidance of the Spirit. Elder Bednar closed his remarks with this statement:
"Obedience opens the door to the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. And the spiritual gifts and abilities activated by the power of the Holy Ghost enable us to avoid deception—and to see, to feel, to know, to understand, and to remember things as they really are. You and I have been endowed with a greater capacity for obedience precisely for these reasons.
Moroni declared:“Hearken unto the words of the Lord, and ask the Father in the name of Jesus for what things soever ye shall stand in need. Doubt not, but be believing, and begin as in times of old, and come unto the Lord with all your heart, and work out your own salvation with fear and trembling before him.
“Be wise in the days of your probation; strip yourselves of all uncleanness; ask not, that ye may consume it on your lusts, but ask with a firmness unshaken, that ye will yield to no temptation, but that ye will serve the true and living God” (Mormon 9:27–28).
As we heed that inspired counsel, we can and will be blessed to recognize and repel the attacks of the adversary—today and in the days that lie ahead. We can and will fulfill our foreordained responsibilities and contribute to the work of the Lord in all the world."
