I'm a cat. I don't like showers.

But I like to lie down on the warm bed. And get cuddles and being picked up by humans. But nobody wants to play with a smelly cat right.

Ugh, can I just lick myself clean?

I was falling into a black hole. No, I jumped into a black hole. Now I can't get out. It keeps sucking me in, and I know no one can save me. But right now I feel like I'm falling much slower, or time just passes by faster. I can't really tell. So this time when I crash and burn, it probably won't hurt that bad

Your eyes,

My hands.

Your smell,

My senses.

Your stories,

My secrets.

mental note

although it's still snowing, I already have a mental note of which shoes I want to buy for spring/summer:

Birkenstock sandals for everyday wear. Comfortable yet dressy enough to wear for classes. Look at that grooves to support the arch of your feet.

Minnetonka moccasin. I love how that smooth suede rubs on my feet. The native beading is a plus point too.

Notice that when I choose shoes, I'm all about comfort.

All shoes taken from my favourite shoe store in Edmonton, gravitypope.com

And the reality is..

I lived with my parents for the past 18 years, and I can still remember how eager I was to get out of my comfort zone and move to Canada to study. No parents, my own apartment, a whole new place to explore. Independence never felt so good.

But I've learnt that freedom comes with a price.

Responsibility is not just another 'grown up' thing. If you're messed up, you fix yourself up. You pay your own bills, you buy your own grocery, you do your own laundry, you cook your own dinner, and most importantly, you be a good girl.

Money is not something you get at the push of your ATM button. Sure, you might have your daddy's supplementary credit card, but after managing your own money you will feel a slight guilt after swiping and signing your name on that bill that will be charged to him.

People can be nice. People can be bad. And there's the naive, and manipulative. Stop saying you don't deserve to be judged because sometimes, that's the truth. Learn to accept that the only reason Humans are like that well, because, they ARE like that.

So suck it up princess. This is where life begins

Weekend are for the Warriors

Very productive weekend:

-A birthday combo surprise birthday party. Two birthdays in one day! Then it was girls-night-in. Sleepovers and gossips as usual.

-Went to the microbiology lab (on a Saturday woot woot!) to do further tests on the current research I am doing, called environmental survey to test how clean my kitchen is.

-Did some immunology and infection revising for my midterm. Currently my favourite subject in all of my science courses because viruses are fascinating 'creatures' (although theoretically they are not a living thing)

-Went to the gym. Trying to get back into the habit of running/swimming at least 3.5km. I used to run more than that everyday back home on the treadmill.

-Bought dumbells. (you can tell I bought this out of guilt because the only regular exercise I've been getting are my Judo classes)

uncertainity

What if,

I take a little bite,

Just a nibble,

To know what it tastes like?

What if,

I crossed that line,

Then I realised I don't like what's on the other side,

Can I tip toe back inside?

What if,

I stay put, stay still,

Would that actually change

The way you feel?

Reading Week

A round up of my very erm, 'productive' Reading Week, because everyday I went out and I did not waste one day buried under blankets. I shall not be deterred by the -30 degrees weather outside!

- Went to Wayne's house to give Cain (his cat) some hugs and cuddles. THAT CAT IS SO FLUFFY I'M GONNA DIE ARGGHH SO FLUFFAAAY! God, I miss cats :( Wayne taught me how to use GarageBand on macbook. Messed around with his synthesiser, which only had 2 octaves but it was much more versatile than keyboard. The. Most. Coolest. Thing. Ever. Recorded a few crappy songs. God, I miss playing music :(

- Bought my first 7 for All Mankind jeans! Next one on the list: Rock and Republic jeans, but that will just have to wait until the next sale season. I have always wanted a pair of those ever since I saw them on Teen Vogue when I was 15. Yeah, my designer jeans fetish goes waaay back then :D

- Went to the boys' house. Melawat abang-abang lah katakan. Had some Genetic tutorial and got past year's question from Hilmi, watched tv, baked some pies. Yes, we made pies together. I felt like a mum to 5 hungry sons. "Sentuhan seorang wanita", bak kata Bo. They are the ones who bought all the groceries and ingredients. Thanks boys!

That was pretty much the highlight besides the usual stuff like sleepovers with the girls, going to the mall and watching movies with my best friend, etc.

"Coz I like to be gone most of the time and you like to be home most of the time. If I stay in one place I loose my mind I'm a pretty impossible lady to be with" - Kimya Dawson, Tire Swing