maximise your doh-lah dah-lings

I may not be able to afford that Maison Martin Margiela shoes, do not own any Naked&Famous denim, and prefer not to buy any Coach bag. Yet don't lie to me and say my $10 sunglasses don't look expensive, my clearance 7 for All Mankind denim is not pretty, and PVC aldo clutch is not glamorous. It is you who don't know how to choose expensive things that well, actually look expensive
I'm not cheap. I'm just frugal.

easy come, easy go

I can't seem to erase and forget that night when you were already bundled up and shivering despite it was only +2 degrees celsius outside. I smile to myself everytime that image comes to my mind.
Don't get me wrong. It is not because I find joy in watching people suffer. But it is because I rarely see the vulnerable, weaker side of you. You ain't no Superman after all.

of expectations

Looking at the pairs of people around her. Been there, done that, she said. She is not missing out on anything, that's why she's not doing it again. She knows she has more to offer, so she is determined to not settle for anything less.
People say, the key to happiness is 'expect less'. But why is there is also a saying that goes 'aim for the stars. If you fall, at least you land on the sky'?

A stack of pictures, "Oh, what do we have here!"

Holding on to what was dear

Their laughters was still ringing in her ear

But she was ready to move on, without any fear

I change my mind:

I was never, and never will be, a fan of running or jogging. People say the clean air cleanse your mind and the adrenaline frees your soul. But the only thought I get is "Oh my god, I must be panting like a dog" and the only thing that is running free are my sweat. Extremely unflattering. I confess, when I run with friends is mostly because I want to socialise and hang out with them, not to work out. Who am I kidding.

spring term so far

Back to school. Back to the usual chaos of "What to wear?" and "What to eat?" for tomorrow. Back to cramping pre-lab readings the night before. It all feels too familiar, like something already pre-programmed in my head since the first year. I am taking only 2 subjects this term: Biochemistry 200 and Calculus 113. Biochem was easy to love, probably because the instructor was so enthusiastic, yet I'm not so sure about Calculus. Math and numbers were never my forte, however it is pretty much a review course from Calculus I took in Grade 12 way back in Taylors.

At the end of the day, I don't want to be too ambitious, yet a part of me tells me that I should not underestimate myself. Have confidence in yourself Ainaa, confidence.

On the lighter note:

Presentable outfit? check. Makes jokes that I can actually laugh about? check. Enjoys the same music as I do? check. Works out? check. Invites me to run with him at the park? Double check. Likes to eat? Triple check. Potential new bestie? Positive.

Well, the gaps between my classes are kinda...empty. With no best friend to hang out with at the moment (he went back to Malaysia a few weeks ago), it is kinda sad to have lunch by yourself. Might as well I make new friends, right?

A little crush a little too late

Yes, this is an ooey gooey cheesy confession post

There you are. Across the floor, directly in front of me. Plaid shirt, skinny jeans, Fred Perry shoes, wearing a mysterious air that hangs around you. Your serious face don't scare me. Standing alone as usual, you don't really belong to a group of friends. When I see you, automatically an indie song starts playing in my head, usually Death Cab for Cutie or Radiohead or REM because its one of your favourite bands. I know you are not shy. We've sat together for more than 30 minutes and conversation flowed easily. When we bump into each other at the Engineering building you always give me a half-smile, you rarely smile at all anyways. "Independent" is the best word to describe you. Too bad you are graduating this year. I would love to get to know you better and pick your brains out to know what is happening inside that pretty little head with curly hair.

I went to malls because the buzz fills in the loneliness. I have not slept on my own bed for days because I hate waking up to an empty home. In fact, I fall asleep easier when I'm sleeping with a friend. My study buddy understands that sometimes what I need is the company, not the conversations; we can sit beside each other for hours and not say a single word. I'm quiet around people I don't know, yet I love attending parties and gatherings. I guess I need to be surrounded by people, that's all.